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Hubby's horn at odds with his rational mind

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Weird post and not looking for advice ... Just a place to share. Hubby led us into this swinging world and I'm having a lot of fun. He does however drive me a bit nuts with his spontaneous horn and then over thinking. He literally will go on and on about me having a solo meet or last minute meet with someone we don't know but then spend the whole time stressing and freaking. He's a nightmare when it comes to pre planning meets and talks himself out of them, which means it's hard for me to vet people for us to play with and check they're compatible.

Any other women find their husbands like the hot / slut wife fantasy but struggle with the reality of it? He says it's because he worries about me that he overthinks everything but from my POV the to-ing and fro-ing makes my head spin!

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

That's a man thing.

Preparation prevent piss-poor performance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When we started to explore the world of swinging, we did it very slowly and talked a lot about everything all the way along. It took a good couple of years before Mr R was ready to actually watch someone fuck me, he always loved the thought if it but he was worried that once we'd done it, he'd end up regretting it and didn't want anything to damage our relationship. I totally respected the way he felt because, at the end of the day, he's the most important person in my world, the one who matters far more than anyone we might decide to join us in the bedroom.

A couple of years down the line and we've worked through any concerns that either of us have had, and are fully enjoying the whole lifestyle. We've had some fantastic threesomes and have made some long term fuck buddy friends. I haven't met anyone on my own yet, but it's something that we've been talking about recently (he raised the idea much to my surprise) and I'm hoping that he'll feel comfortable to let that happen with one of the FB friends we've made in the last few years, someone we have grown to trust and know respects us as people and as a couple.

I think every relationship is different, but my advice to you would be to talk about it with him, listen to his concerns, and reassure him where necessary. As frustrating as you might find it, go at his pace, be patient and hopefully it’ll pay off in time. He’s your husband after all, I’m sure you’re as concerned about anything going wrong and affecting your relationship as he is.

Good luck, I hope you can work it out so that you can both enjoy the fun the way you want to and feel comfortable with.

V x

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

get a few blokes you are interested in - have a few dates when they are free, get a plan a, b and c. Have a drink or three, chill him out and invite your 'a' meet. If busy, refer to 'b' meet and so on.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When we started to explore the world of swinging, we did it very slowly and talked a lot about everything all the way along. It took a good couple of years before Mr R was ready to actually watch someone fuck me, he always loved the thought if it but he was worried that once we'd done it, he'd end up regretting it and didn't want anything to damage our relationship. I totally respected the way he felt because, at the end of the day, he's the most important person in my world, the one who matters far more than anyone we might decide to join us in the bedroom.

A couple of years down the line and we've worked through any concerns that either of us have had, and are fully enjoying the whole lifestyle. We've had some fantastic threesomes and have made some long term fuck buddy friends. I haven't met anyone on my own yet, but it's something that we've been talking about recently (he raised the idea much to my surprise) and I'm hoping that he'll feel comfortable to let that happen with one of the FB friends we've made in the last few years, someone we have grown to trust and know respects us as people and as a couple.

I think every relationship is different, but my advice to you would be to talk about it with him, listen to his concerns, and reassure him where necessary. As frustrating as you might find it, go at his pace, be patient and hopefully it’ll pay off in time. He’s your husband after all, I’m sure you’re as concerned about anything going wrong and affecting your relationship as he is.

Good luck, I hope you can work it out so that you can both enjoy the fun the way you want to and feel comfortable with.

V x

"

Thank you... V interesting to read that xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it was me I'd just quit swinging. I can't stand people that play games. It's supposed to be fun.

It's no fun if it's a constant head fuck of "let's do it" .... "ohh no I can't do it".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Weird post and not looking for advice ... Just a place to share. Hubby led us into this swinging world and I'm having a lot of fun. He does however drive me a bit nuts with his spontaneous horn and then over thinking. He literally will go on and on about me having a solo meet or last minute meet with someone we don't know but then spend the whole time stressing and freaking. He's a nightmare when it comes to pre planning meets and talks himself out of them, which means it's hard for me to vet people for us to play with and check they're compatible.

Any other women find their husbands like the hot / slut wife fantasy but struggle with the reality of it? He says it's because he worries about me that he overthinks everything but from my POV the to-ing and fro-ing makes my head spin!"

yes im the same with my wife love the thought of her going to a strangers house and having her wicked way but I also like the idea of doing the same thing with a lady or a lady within a couple

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville


"If it was me I'd just quit swinging. I can't stand people that play games. It's supposed to be fun.

It's no fun if it's a constant head fuck of "let's do it" .... "ohh no I can't do it". "

they have been on 5 weeks and had 3 meets it's not like they are inactive

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Haha yea we are active... I guess it's just a new lifestyle change... Am sure we will get there as we both want the same thing. Practice makes perfect

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

THE STICKS

I think it's all part of the buzz for him.

I've been part of a couple in the past and can remember all too well the mixed feelings of dread and excitement knowing another guy was going to be fucking my girlfriend that evening - and I was very much a join in kind of guy.

I can totally understand how much more intense those feelings must be for your husband if he's not actively participating (at least not in a physical sense) and contemplating letting you meet alone.

Best advice I can give is to enjoy the ride - in every sense

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think it's all part of the buzz for him.

I've been part of a couple in the past and can remember all too well the mixed feelings of dread and excitement knowing another guy was going to be fucking my girlfriend that evening - and I was very much a join in kind of guy.

I can totally understand how much more intense those feelings must be for your husband if he's not actively participating (at least not in a physical sense) and contemplating letting you meet alone.

Best advice I can give is to enjoy the ride - in every sense "

Thank you x

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