FabSwingers.com forum: A debate! Are under 21's too young to swing?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hello my lovelies!

This morning I started a thread about the above topic - but it was understandably removed as I referred to someone specific in my OP - for which apologies!

Until it was removed we had a great debate going on - with no nastiness which was wonderful!

So I'd like to raise the issue again please - as it seems to be something most of us have a definite opinion on!

Personally - all though I accepted many of the arguments for 'young swinging ' - I still think the teens and very early twenties are a time for exploring one on one sex with someone you know! My opinion could quite possibly be coloured by the fact that I have a young adult daughter - and obviously feel very protective of her!

But anyway - what are your thoughts my lovelies? Let's have a cracking debate!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or conversely get your view of life early and know it's for you or not early, and then can let any future partner know you like to/don't like swinging, and stopping friction later on in that relationship?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't have been able to deal with it when I was 21 (not that I'm a swinger now, but you know what I mean). But I know not everyone is like me and there will be 21 year olds out there who are probably far more mature than I am now. Too young for me to want to meet though.

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By *adyA01Woman
over a year ago

Wellington

I agree with you to be fair, I think you need to find yourself sexually and know who you are first. I didn't know myself at that age. I was late 30's before I found myself properly sexually. I now know what I like and what I don't and am comfortable making my voice heard. But I certainly wasn't at that age. But that is not to say that applies to all youngsters, some of them have probably seen and experienced stuff that I havent. I guess it is down to personal preference at the end of the day.

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

I have mixed feelings on this. 12 years ago I met a lady who has become my best friend ever, through swinging. She was 19 and I was 31, and we had a lot of fun for a few months. My wife and I introduced her to adult parties and I admit I helped her with her "young adult problems". Later she found a great guy, got married and did the monogamous thing for a while and now aged 31 she and hubby are swinging again.

All's well that ends well...but I would say that one could put together a good argument that she was too young at the time. She did need friendly advice and guidance more than someone who was 23 might have.

But, had she not become a part of the scene I would not have had the best sex I've ever had nor would I have found such a wonderful friend.

The law says your body is yours to take decisions about once you are 16. Most clubs won't let under 18's in and some will not admit under 21's.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

21? 25 is still to young in my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think sexual maturity comes from age. Maturity, of any kind, seems to come from experience.

I don't think 1 on 1 relationships are necessary, even i had my first* 3sum with my boyfriend (at the time) when i was 19 and ever since then i actually wanted a relationship with 2 guys and to have both their kids even. Which probably sounds weird to this day but in those days was unheard of. I only got the idea coz i liked fucking 2 guys at once.

*Not my first actual 3sum but my first in a relationship.

I think it's ok to explore in a safe environment so long as you know your limits and enforce them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let a young one chip in

I am pretty young and have been here a while now. Here is the deal, there are 40 somethings that are more kids than I am.

I started having sex at around 14, and I have been going steady since then. I am generally a kind of a person that is very self reflective and likes to learn more and more, therefore the forums.

So for me this place has really been a place for self discovery even though I am not that much of a swinger any-more

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"21? 25 is still to young in my opinion."

So what age would you suggest Clem?

I personally don't tend to meet under 25 year olds as I've no desire to 'corrupt' anyone - but what would you suggest is the youngest age at which you're sexually mature enough/emotionally capable enough to swing? Xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Let a young one chip in

I am pretty young and have been here a while now. Here is the deal, there are 40 somethings that are more kids than I am.

I started having sex at around 14, and I have been going steady since then. I am generally a kind of a person that is very self reflective and likes to learn more and more, therefore the forums.

So for me this place has really been a place for self discovery even though I am not that much of a swinger any-more

Thanks for your input lovely! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess I'll get my coat then...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not just sexual maturity, it's maturity full stop. The forum illustrates this beautifully often enough with the many "dramas" of youth..

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

Nope I would have loved to have had an outlet for my repressed inner slut at that age!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've encountered a lot more drama from people older than me on here than I have from anyone in their twenties!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I guess I'll get my coat then...

I wouldn't put it on just yet lovely - I'm sure there'll be plenty who disagree with me!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've encountered a lot more drama from people older than me on here than I have from anyone in their twenties!

I must admit - most of the 'he's mine - no he's not he's mine!' Dramas I recall were instigated by women in their early thirties!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hello my lovelies!

This morning I started a thread about the above topic - but it was understandably removed as I referred to someone specific in my OP - for which apologies!

Until it was removed we had a great debate going on - with no nastiness which was wonderful!

So I'd like to raise the issue again please - as it seems to be something most of us have a definite opinion on!

But anyway - what are your thoughts my lovelies? Let's have a cracking debate!

"
I say they waited very patiently to get to 18 and at least you know where your kids are if they are on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not just sexual maturity, it's maturity full stop. The forum illustrates this beautifully often enough with the many "dramas" of youth.."

Not forgetting the constant variations of younger looking for older/milfs/cougars threads

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By *emaleinthedarkWoman
over a year ago

London

Well I'm now 22, but I don't think I will ever swing. Don't think it's for me. I initially used this site to meet new people and to have my first girl on girl experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've encountered a lot more drama from people older than me on here than I have from anyone in their twenties!"

So have i. And you see topics from them with their entitlement to sex.

Tends to be older guys, who maybe aren't as understanding of womens sexuality because it was repressed most of the time they were fucking women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that some people that will be okay swinging and some that won't... Nothing to do with age. Personally its rare we play with under 25s but have on occasion met a few that we have made exceptions for x

I think it depends on many things but age isn't one of them x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not all older guys, some very sexy and lovely ones on here, and i'm just guessing why they have that entitlement as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I guess I'll get my coat then...

I wouldn't put it on just yet lovely - I'm sure there'll be plenty who disagree with me!

Personally I just can't get along with people my age - male or females... they seem to be too immature childish to me...even my friends (girls) are older than me (30's)

And I also agree with a previous poster..I've also encountered more drama from older people on here...especially when they are declined a meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Age has little to do with maturity, in my opinion. There will always be reasons why older people don't think younger people should be sexually inquisitive and reasons why younger people don't think older people should be. It shows prejudice, not reason.

For every instance of young people acting immaturely I could show an instance of an older person acting equally so. Youth is the age of exploration, why not let people explore?

I always think that education, of younger and older, will be better than telling someone they just can't do something. Individual are different and for every parent that can't stand the thought of people their kid's age on here there will be a son/daughter who can't fathom the thought of people their parents' on here.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"21? 25 is still to young in my opinion.

So what age would you suggest Clem?

I don't suppose there's a straight answer. Maturity varies depending on the individual, though I believe that experience in life is equally important so as to not be "corrupted". I'd liken it to the question, how young is too young to vote? 16, 17, 18? Older? Maturity and a fully developed personality that isn't easily impressionable are things people attain at different ages. Some never do, whatever the age.

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By *heclitmaster84Man
over a year ago

Huddersfield

No its not as I started swinging when I was 17 had my first meet with a couple at 17 an my first gang bang same year x

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By *lorious hole bs16Man
over a year ago

Bristol

Some folk think some people are too young to be swinging and others think that wrinklies like me shouldn't be on here..

I have no problems with either group being on fab Swingers.

My age preference for meets is 30 plus probably cos I have two grown ups 22 and 25..

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

I think late teens and early 20s are a great age to experiment. That's exactly what I did at uni.

It felt slightly sexist the thread this morning that an 18 year female should be looking for a relationship. Why shouldn't she be promiscuous or have group sex if she pleases. If it was a male in his late teens or early 20s, wouldn't he get a pat on the back or be told he's playing the field before settling down?

I don't see age as relevant. It's personality and maturity. I've played with an 18 year old female who had her shit more together than most of the older females that I've met from here.

As long as they are happy, who cares. We are not all suited to monogamy, or relationships.

I was wild as a teenager and in my early twenties. If I had access to Fab or clubs, then I wouldn't have wasted years until I finally found BDSM. I don't think being sexually adventurous at a younger age is negative. It's not like you can run out of things to do, or people to do. They'll end up evolving anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a couple of 23 & 24 who have been here since we were 21. And together since 16. That puts us legally over the age of consent and the drinking age etc.

We're old enough to be engaged, own a house, have kids. (We don't but plenty of our friends do at our age)

We're old enough to vote and pay tax, mrsdpt holds a management position at work. I ran my own plumbing business at 18/19. And currently looking to start a new venture.

Anyone who tells us were not old/mature enough to be here needs to pull their head out of their arse.

From rather unpleasant first hand experience the worst offenders for "maturity" in swingers clubs are women over 40 who don't know when to stop the wine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Defo depends on the person i mean iv experienced wot iv wanted to yet my partner hasnt but were the same age so defo goes on person i know wot i like have since 18 x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

in answer to the question on the post....yes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As always it is down to the individual. Some are more mature for their age than others.

Whether any of us like it or not the law says anyone from age 16 can do pretty much what they want and I can't see any campaign from those opposed to 'certain sexual activities' being barred to people over 16 years getting very far.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Age has little to do with maturity, in my opinion. There will always be reasons why older people don't think younger people should be sexually inquisitive and reasons why younger people don't think older people should be. It shows prejudice, not reason.

For every instance of young people acting immaturely I could show an instance of an older person acting equally so. Youth is the age of exploration, why not let people explore?

Fair point well made! Thank you!

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

If I did have a daughter, I have a son, and she was having sex with just anyone, then I would wonder why and be a bit concerned.

You usually want the best for your kids.

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By *ittenandthepirateCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

"I agree with you to be fair, I think you need to find yourself sexually and know who you are first. I didn't know myself at that age. I was late 30's before I found myself properly sexually. I now know what I like and what I don't and am comfortable making my voice heard. But I certainly wasn't at that age. But that is not to say that applies to all youngsters, some of them have probably seen and experienced stuff that I havent. I guess it is down to personal preference at the end of the day.

Interesting you should say you need to find yourself sexually and know who you are first. We were 20 when we started and I believe I would have been very unlikely to find myself or my sexuality without it. Before swinging I had never been with a girl other than the odd kiss. Now I consider myself bisexual, I date girls and guys. I wouldn't have been able to do that without swinging as it would be a monogamous relationship. Swinging has lead us into polyamory and for us it has absolutely helped reveal who we had the possibility to be. Of course, not everyone is the same. Some people may not have the emotional maturity to swing so young. But that's the point, everyone is NOT the same and some do have the emotional maturity to do so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not just sexual maturity, it's maturity full stop. The forum illustrates this beautifully often enough with the many "dramas" of youth.."

I find that older people bring more drama to bed than younger. It's why I generally steer well clear of men my age and older

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

I think that people should just leave others deal with their own sex lives as they see fit . If they want to pull at the pub every week ,have a monogamous relationship ,go to swing clubs or meet from here then it's really no one's business but theirs and the person they are sleeping with . If you don't want to meet a person of a particular age then avoid them .

If the age to start swinging is put up ,is it not fair then to put a cap on top age too ? I for one do not fancy being told I'm too old to be on here. I'll make the decision when I hang up my FMBs just as others have the right at 18 to decide they wish to start swinging or not .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a couple of 23 & 24 who have been here since we were 21. And together since 16. That puts us legally over the age of consent and the drinking age etc.

We're old enough to be engaged, own a house, have kids. (We don't but plenty of our friends do at our age)

We're old enough to vote and pay tax, mrsdpt holds a management position at work. I ran my own plumbing business at 18/19. And currently looking to start a new venture.

Anyone who tells us were not old/mature enough to be here needs to pull their head out of their arse.

From rather unpleasant first hand experience the worst offenders for "maturity" in swingers clubs are women over 40 who don't know when to stop the wine.

Perfect example to show that age doesn't define maturity. You sound more grounded than some of the older couples and singles on here.

Yes I hate the thought of my children ever joining this site or going to a club, but given that they'd think worse if they knew what I do, it's more than a bit hypocritical?

The question could also be asked as to whether there should be an 'upper' age limit...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To swing - as in a couple swinging in the 'traditional' sense.. my gut reaction would be yes..

..but I see this all as recreational sex rather than 'swinging' and from that perspective, no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think that people should just leave others deal with their own sex lives as they see fit . If they want to pull at the pub every week ,have a monogamous relationship ,go to swing clubs or meet from here then it's really no one's business but theirs and the person they are sleeping with . If you don't want to meet a person of a particular age then avoid them .

This! who cares? And if they do perhaps they should close their eyes? Its legal they are having fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For every instance of young people acting immaturely I could show an instance of an older person acting equally so. Youth is the age of exploration, why not let people explore?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"chipperoo the reality is you never change mentally irrespective of age

But you mature, and so do relationships.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I would have ended up being abused and manipulated. I don't think at that age I would ha be had the common sense to know how the scene worked.

And I grew up with a navy base next to me..... I was very sexually active.

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Personally I think the age of consent should be 18 (not that it would change anything), there are a lot of emotions involved in sex so I don't think it's something children should be doing. However different people mature at different ages and at 18 one is an adult and therefore has to be responsible for their own actions and their consequences.

Would the OP have raised the original point be any different had it been an 18 year old male and not an 18 year old female? Just curious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just had a check through our meets and we've played with 4 eighteen year olds , 7 nineteen year olds and lots of 20 year olds .

All good meets , and don't think we corrupted any of them , well maybe a bit

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By *ivinefoxWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

Just meet people in the normal way, pubs, clubs, college etc. that's what I was doing at your age. However the internet didn't exist then, so God knows how much fun I would have had if it did...!!

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By *ivinefoxWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

Maybe there should be 2 Fabs, over and under 35s, that's certainly my cut off point for playing with younger pp. And quite a lot of younger pp only want to meet younger pp too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe there should be 2 Fabs, over and under 35s, that's certainly my cut off point for playing with younger pp. And quite a lot of younger pp only want to meet younger pp too! "

Well id be screwed i prefer 35 to 45 but im under 30

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just had a check through our meets and we've played with 4 eighteen year olds , 7 nineteen year olds and lots of 20 year olds .

All good meets , and don't think we corrupted any of them , well maybe a bit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe there should be 2 Fabs, over and under 35s, that's certainly my cut off point for playing with younger pp. And quite a lot of younger pp only want to meet younger pp too!

Well id be screwed i prefer 35 to 45 but im under 30

I like over 40s

That is a terrible idea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am most definitely not a fan of young swingers (teenagers). Apart from the fact I don't want to have sex with someone younger than my kids, I just don't think its good for them. Young lads have watched too much porn, young girls shouldn't be subjected to older men. Well not the ones on here.

And any man saying its ok for youngsters to be on here should ask themselves whether it's ok for their own daughter or son to be on here. If you think its ok - I would really question your ability as a parent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The young today have grown up more freely plus the use of internet etc and are able to explore their sexualities without labels x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't be at all bothered if any of my kids were on here , and you can question my ability as a parent all you like

And as for younger women being subjected to older men , especially the ones on here - what a damning statement ! We have met some of the nicest gentlemen on here , both younger and older .

So there's my take on your post - shoot me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn't be at all bothered if any of my kids were on here , and you can question my ability as a parent all you like

And as for younger women being subjected to older men , especially the ones on here - what a damning statement ! We have met some of the nicest gentlemen on here , both younger and older .

So there's my take on your post - shoot me

Wouldn't shoot you. would just totally disagree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"21? 25 is still to young in my opinion.

So what age would you suggest Clem?

There's probably some under 25s that are more corrupt than most people over 25, I'm 21 and personally don't think your too young to swing, most people my age are absolute muppets and completely childish, all depends on a person's personal back ground how mature they.

Debates like these kind of put swingers my age off especially guys, because we kind of get frowned upon for being here, I know some people don't like the age of us and I respect that but once you turn 18 you can do as you please and some people may find swinging as an experience they would like to try to see if they would actually enjoy it, if they ever go into a relationship at least they would have the knowledge of if they did or not and you never know they could potentially meet someone on here.

Regards, dingle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"21? 25 is still to young in my opinion.

So what age would you suggest Clem?

Regards, dingle.

Exactly the reason you should be here a mature and intelligent reaponse. Its not for everyone but just dont play with young people if its not for you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am most definitely not a fan of young swingers (teenagers). Apart from the fact I don't want to have sex with someone younger than my kids, I just don't think its good for them. Young lads have watched too much porn, young girls shouldn't be subjected to older men. Well not the ones on here.

Firstly I don't think it's possible for a young lad to have watched more porn than me or most blokes I know of a similar age

Secondly if you wouldn't be happy for your adult kids to be on a site like this... don't you need to question why you're on it yourself?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Since plenty of us are perfectly comfortable with age discrimination, let's make things a little less socially acceptable.

Person A & person B

Person A is gay

Person B is 20

Both are swingers

Neither chose to be gay or 20, neither can do anything to change it.

Why is it perfectly acceptable to presume person B shouldn't be on a swingers site. Imagine the shitstorm if this were about gay/bi people.

The only difference is one is acceptable to judge against the other isn't.

Some of the comments we've had in the past are truly laughable, you shouldn't be here and allow me in my 40 years of infinite wisdom to tell you why.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Since plenty of us are perfectly comfortable with age discrimination, let's make things a little less socially acceptable.

Person A & person B

Person A is gay

Person B is 20

Both are swingers

Neither chose to be gay or 20, neither can do anything to change it.

Why is it perfectly acceptable to presume person B shouldn't be on a swingers site. Imagine the shitstorm if this were about gay/bi people.

The only difference is one is acceptable to judge against the other isn't.

Some of the comments we've had in the past are truly laughable, you shouldn't be here and allow me in my 40 years of infinite wisdom to tell you why.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm 23, and began swinging when I was 22, just to put my opinion in perspective.

I think its important to consider the difference between swinging and having sex with lots of people. For us, swinging is something we do as a couple, for the enjoyment of both of us. Which is different to having sex with other people purely for our own enjoyment. The way I see it, there is a difference in the TYPE of maturity needed to do that - there's our own individual maturity and then there's the maturity and strength of our relationship.

Perhaps that's where older couples causing drama comes in - one or both of those is missing.

Just as a side note, it is very easy to forgot how 'out there' we all are by being here and being successful in the swinging community. Most people would raise more than an eyebrow at the suggestion, and that hasn't got anything to do with age or maturity... That's just preference!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/03/16 23:08:37]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Since plenty of us are perfectly comfortable with age discrimination, let's make things a little less socially acceptable.

Person A & person B

Person A is gay

Person B is 20

Both are swingers

Neither chose to be gay or 20, neither can do anything to change it.

Why is it perfectly acceptable to presume person B shouldn't be on a swingers site. Imagine the shitstorm if this were about gay/bi people.

The only difference is one is acceptable to judge against the other isn't.

Some of the comments we've had in the past are truly laughable, you shouldn't be here and allow me in my 40 years of infinite wisdom to tell you why.

How old is gay person A?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Since plenty of us are perfectly comfortable with age discrimination, let's make things a little less socially acceptable.

Person A & person B

Person A is gay

Person B is 20

Both are swingers

Neither chose to be gay or 20, neither can do anything to change it.

Why is it perfectly acceptable to presume person B shouldn't be on a swingers site. Imagine the shitstorm if this were about gay/bi people.

The only difference is one is acceptable to judge against the other isn't.

Some of the comments we've had in the past are truly laughable, you shouldn't be here and allow me in my 40 years of infinite wisdom to tell you why.

Fair enough comment

I think though there will always be 'groups' of people that people find acceptable to judge against.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How old person A is, completely irrelevant to the point I'm making.

And again. From experience, never have we encountered any negativity towards our age in person.

Only when people have a computer screen to hide behind and our age is in plain view for all to see.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a couple of 23 & 24 who have been here since we were 21. And together since 16. That puts us legally over the age of consent and the drinking age etc.

We're old enough to be engaged, own a house, have kids. (We don't but plenty of our friends do at our age)

We're old enough to vote and pay tax, mrsdpt holds a management position at work. I ran my own plumbing business at 18/19. And currently looking to start a new venture.

Anyone who tells us were not old/mature enough to be here needs to pull their head out of their arse.

From rather unpleasant first hand experience the worst offenders for "maturity" in swingers clubs are women over 40 who don't know when to stop the wine.

Love the last comment as I work shifts in a pub and it's probably more full of women in the 40's than men in the same age group

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How old is gay person A?"

55 and he's straight on his profile (and married).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the past I've met and had "fun" with ladies/fens/girls on here as young as 19. I've now set my age preference to 25 as I found a few of these to be rather immature and "needy" to the point of becoming stalkers/bunny boilers. (Though actually the 19 year old - the daughter of a fab member who has remained a good friend of mine. Was actually very mature about the whole thing).

There are levels of maturity which don't always go with age...but generally I would still stick to my limit of 25.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think some people invest swinging with a false superiority, it's casual sex with strangers, in my experience that went on when I was a teenager and to my knowledge it goes on now if younger people are using fab or clubs to meet it just means it's moved into the 21st century.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think some people invest swinging with a false superiority, it's casual sex with strangers, in my experience that went on when I was a teenager and to my knowledge it goes on now if younger people are using fab or clubs to meet it just means it's moved into the 21st century."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I started when I was 19, so no. Plus it's nothing people aren't doing on Tinder anyway.

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By *razedcatMan
over a year ago

London / Herts

I have met some remarkably mature people under the age of 21, and equally, very immature people over 21. Over 30, even.

For the most part, age is nothing but a number.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In the past I've met and had "fun" with ladies/fens/girls on here as young as 19. I've now set my age preference to 25 as I found a few of these to be rather immature and "needy" to the point of becoming stalkers/bunny boilers. (Though actually the 19 year old - the daughter of a fab member who has remained a good friend of mine. Was actually very mature about the whole thing).

There are levels of maturity which don't always go with age...but generally I would still stick to my limit of 25."

Just out of interest - did the 19 year olds mother and father know?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are levels of maturity which don't always go with age...but generally I would still stick to my limit of 25.

Just out of interest - did the 19 year olds mother and father know?"

I don't know her father....he isn't on the scene.

Her mother knew. I was actually at her mums house earlier today for a brew and dropped her other daughter off at her boyfriends on my way home. Why would she not know?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are levels of maturity which don't always go with age...but generally I would still stick to my limit of 25.

Just out of interest - did the 19 year olds mother and father know?"

What has a 19 year olds parents got to do with it?

By 19 we had already moved in together so why would our parents have anything to do with our sex lives

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"It's not just sexual maturity, it's maturity full stop. The forum illustrates this beautifully often enough with the many "dramas" of youth.."

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I did agree with the original post - yes, I think people can be too young to be on a site like this, yes, I think it would be healthier for them to be exploring relationships with their peers.

I don't judge them, I fear for them. I'm not talking about people 'causing drama', I am talking about people sustaining emotional damage before they are resilient enough to cope with some aspects of using a site like this, or indeed, using the site as an outworking for some fairly serious emotional issues. As BlueSparks said I fear they could quite easily be abused or manipulated, and yes, I think that applies more to girls, though not exclusively.

I fear they could regret taking part in certain activities so young as well. Of course they are over the age of consent, and we all have to tread our own paths, make or own decisions - and live with the consequences.

But it is not hypocrisy to express concern for their wellbeing, not in my opinion.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I can tell you 100% one thing. If swinging sites where around when I was 18 I would have got into half as much trouble or put myself in such dangerous situations. I would of been carrying out my activities in safer environments.

People can do exactly what they want whenever they want as long as they are over the age of 18 noone has to play with them but they have as much right to be here as anyone else. People develop sexually at a very young age and I know I would of had the maturity to deal with it.

Many people shouldnt be here because in my opinion they are not equipped to deal with NSA and that has nothing to do with their age.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So your happy for your daughter to take cock but don't want her having pussy at the same time, is that the gist without spending an hour reading all replies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can tell you 100% one thing. If swinging sites where around when I was 18 I would have got into half as much trouble or put myself in such dangerous situations. I would of been carrying out my activities in safer environments.

Many people shouldnt be here because in my opinion they are not equipped to deal with NSA and that has nothing to do with their age.

This! X10000!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Just a question op if your daughter was sexually active but not in a relationship would you sooner go pulling a different guy down the pub every weekend or join a swingers site and get to know the guys first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well Peachykins, we've nattered this one through many a time and I was about to leap in with a "no, way way way too young", then I paused for thought and actually surprised myself.

I didn't lose my virginity until I was nearly twenty with a nice, patient chap at university. At twenty I had my first female encounter with a wonderful lady who introduced me to my own clitoris and the wonderful world of orgasms (thank you forever darling Fi). By the time I turned 21 I'd had my first FFM and MFFM, was still happily fumbling about with Fi and already owned an impressive range of outfits and 'accessories' that you wouldn't manage to find in Ann Summers. Then after four years of 'exploration' I went completely vanilla and none of this ever happened again (until recently).

So, perhaps I was wrong in my initial "21 is way too crazy young" gut instinct response. Or, at the very least, massively hypocritical.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am sorry but my take on this is simple our lives today are governed by TV and the media and sex is its weapon of choice ,porn is readily available to all and I think its ruining sex for future generations ,everything is being analyzed and dissected until theirs no finding out for yourself and here on fab some have got to the point where unless you're fucking somebody different everytime its boring ,our kids should be left to enjoy the natural process of discovering sex and people and relationships but the internet and sites like this have put paid to that one .At 18 your kids are adults and making their own decisions of course its wrong for them to be on here but its just as wrong for many of us fucking people in clubs whose names we don't even know ,sometimes words not even exchanged or faces seen ,some kids are mature beyond their years I don't fear for them its the others I worry about and what will it do to their ability to sustain relationships

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just looked at original statement. wow this is a mass debate ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am sorry but my take on this is simple our lives today are governed by TV and the media and sex is its weapon of choice ,porn is readily available to all and I think its ruining sex for future generations ,everything is being analyzed and dissected until theirs no finding out for yourself and here on fab some have got to the point where unless you're fucking somebody different everytime its boring ,our kids should be left to enjoy the natural process of discovering sex and people and relationships but the internet and sites like this have put paid to that one .At 18 your kids are adults and making their own decisions of course its wrong for them to be on here but its just as wrong for many of us fucking people in clubs whose names we don't even know ,sometimes words not even exchanged or faces seen ,some kids are mature beyond their years I don't fear for them its the others I worry about and what will it do to their ability to sustain relationships

"
you come from a good place but they are adults, sames as you. So why is it ok for you to be here but not another adult?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Many people shouldnt be here because in my opinion they are not equipped to deal with NSA and that has nothing to do with their age.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's far too young as well.

Swinging is not just about sex, emotionally it can be confusing. I do think you need to develop a mature attitude. I for one couldn't have coped with it at any early age.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/03/16 07:37:37]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're great believers in free will, just like anyone has the right to swing at 21 and under anyone can say no to swinging with said 21 and unders.

At 21 me and millie had our first kid (planned!) and Id class us as both emotionally mature people who were/are still very much in love, we had been together for 3 years before having him.

Being young doesn't always mean you will be immature or not have a grasp of who you are/what you want.

We've met some very immature 40 year olds so sometimes age is just a number

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By *ivnwcplCouple
over a year ago

liverpool

"Hello my lovelies!

This morning I started a thread about the above topic - but it was understandably removed as I referred to someone specific in my OP - for which apologies!

Until it was removed we had a great debate going on - with no nastiness which was wonderful!

So I'd like to raise the issue again please - as it seems to be something most of us have a definite opinion on!

But anyway - what are your thoughts my lovelies? Let's have a cracking debate!

We have set our lower age limit at 30, only because we have children in the middle 20's, so it would feel awkward playing with people the same age, but in answer to the question 21 isn't to young to swing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find a lot of replies on this thread very hypocritical. Why is it ok for older people to swing but not younger? When a post comes up regarding sexuality or race anyone who is considered to be discriminatory is called a bigot but on a thread like this it's ok to be a bigot…

As many have already said and I've witnessed it myself many times sometimes the most immature have been older people.

Also I know what I (m) was like when I was a teenager and I was relatively inactive compared with some I knew, so what makes you think younger adults are not doing a lot worse than we may be doing in here.

Lastly as for the comment earlier about questioning anyone's parenting skills… does that mean your own parents were questionable seeing as you're on the site?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We're great believers in free will, just like anyone has the right to swing at 21 and under anyone can say no to swinging with said 21 and unders.

At 21 me and millie had our first kid (planned!) and Id class us as both emotionally mature people who were/are still very much in love, we had been together for 3 years before having him.

Being young doesn't always mean you will be immature or not have a grasp of who you are/what you want.

We've met some very immature 40 year olds so sometimes age is just a number

Whilst I agree age can be just a number in real life if we're talking about swinging & Fabs it seems to be what defines people, either too young or too old. Also on here it's used as a preference filter.

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

A couple of my friends had sex much younger than 21. It just wasn't talked about, like it is, these days. We knew they were 'sluts'; we wished we were too

Sex with someone other than the person one is married to, was called adultery. Multiple partners whilst single was called promiscuity

So what the under 21s are doing now falls under promiscuous behaviour. Nothing ever changes

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By *abes in the woodWoman
over a year ago

wales

Yesh think it far to young as got children that age so I say no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We're great believers in free will, just like anyone has the right to swing at 21 and under anyone can say no to swinging with said 21 and unders.

At 21 me and millie had our first kid (planned!) and Id class us as both emotionally mature people who were/are still very much in love, we had been together for 3 years before having him.

Being young doesn't always mean you will be immature or not have a grasp of who you are/what you want.

We've met some very immature 40 year olds so sometimes age is just a number

That could be half the problem of fab though, we've set preferences for 40 and under but that doesn't mean we wouldn't play with someone older if they were a decent click for us.

Age should never be a defining point for anyone anywhere, if you enjoy socialising and being around the other people good chances are regardless of their age you will enjoy the sex as well

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By *occerstar579Man
over a year ago

Harrogate

Speaking as a male I think swinging below age 21 is wrong for many reasons. At that age your emotions are diff and not mature enough to differentiate between sex and being unfaithful to a partner. Also swinging is about confidence experience and I don't think a 20 year old lass is gonna be able to offer much apart from the firm body. Sex soo much better with experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Speaking as a male I think swinging below age 21 is wrong for many reasons. At that age your emotions are diff and not mature enough to differentiate between sex and being unfaithful to a partner. Also swinging is about confidence experience and I don't think a 20 year old lass is gonna be able to offer much apart from the firm body. Sex soo much better with experience. "

Speaking as a male you think females arent mature enough?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We're great believers in free will, just like anyone has the right to swing at 21 and under anyone can say no to swinging with said 21 and unders.

At 21 me and millie had our first kid (planned!) and Id class us as both emotionally mature people who were/are still very much in love, we had been together for 3 years before having him.

Being young doesn't always mean you will be immature or not have a grasp of who you are/what you want.

We've met some very immature 40 year olds so sometimes age is just a number

That could be half the problem of fab though, we've set preferences for 40 and under but that doesn't mean we wouldn't play with someone older if they were a decent click for us.

Age should never be a defining point for anyone anywhere, if you enjoy socialising and being around the other people good chances are regardless of their age you will enjoy the sex as well

I'm forever changing my lower age limit not so much my upper as it does help to reduce incoming messages by having them in place.

In a club environment though I haven't asked anyone's age whilst chatting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/03/16 08:08:50]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you come from a good place but they are adults, sames as you. So why is it ok for you to be here but not another adult?"
is it ok for me to be here though ,I see this place as merely a meeting point just like any other but get your drift oh beautiful one

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

The comments " I wouldnt of swung at that age ", "i wasnt mature enough or couldn't of coped " I would of got taken advantage of at that age"ect .... one thing shouts out to me ,You AREN'T them lol! I was 18 28 years ago(oh god I've depressed myself !!) and those 18/20 now we're brought up in a whole different world (education, world travel their careers,the internet ect ect)giving them experience and maturity I never had .

It's very individual and as said there's loads of young whipper snappers that handle all thats involved in swinging and conduct themselves far better than alot my age!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

18 year olds are having sex in all sorts of way, in all sorts of places, with people of all sorts of ages without the benefit of fab. They are being manipulated by people they meet in the pub, at school, at college or university, in clubs. They're being groomed without being on fab.

As I said before it seems to me that some people imagine that because we're using a dedicated web site to contact each other and some of us are meeting socially it's somehow different to casual sex that takes place anywhere else, it really isn't. The real question that's being asked is "are teenagers old enough to have sex or should it be left for people over 30?" because sex comes with all the same pleasures and pitfalls if you meet in a pub or the medium of a web site.

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By *occerstar579Man
over a year ago

Harrogate

Speaking as a male you think females arent mature enough?"

No...lol. I mean I don't consider 20 year old males or females mature enough to deal with the emotions or indeed lack of emotions swinging brings. If I was female in 40s I would guess its similar to males....the idea of swinging with two 20 year olds would be less appealing than a more experienced 30 year old.

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

.....

Many people shouldnt be here because in my opinion they are not equipped to deal with NSA and that has nothing to do with their age.

There are 17,500+ people online now and 1,000+ in chatrooms. How many of these people do you know well enough to form that opinion?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Speaking as a male you think females arent mature enough?

Do you believe that 20 year olds away from swinging only have sex in meaningful and trusting relationships with only one person at a time if a similar age?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Speaking as a male you think females arent mature enough?

Well i was a little confused

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have just picked up on this and did not see the OP's original thread

As someone who as been on the scene off and on for well over 10 years now, I have seen a wide range of younger people both male and female - and its never been an issue - there is however a perception the sexual promiscuity of younger females is more frowned up on or put down by the masses

Without doubt, the mental maturity of the person concerned is parapmount and in some ways is the key to it

Over the years I have attended meets and swingers parties with my then first wife a former fem FB "partner in crime" at which I have seen and yes I will admit experienced 19/20 years olds having fun, in all bar one case, the women was accompanied with either a similar age fella or in two, with older husbands

Basic rules apply I think - ie; providing they are willing, un coerced, enjoy sex and are happy, then they are adult enough to make own decisions on who does or does not fuck them

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

"18 year olds are having sex in all sorts of way, in all sorts of places, with people of all sorts of ages without the benefit of fab. They are being manipulated by people they meet in the pub, at school, at college or university, in clubs. They're being groomed without being on fab.

Not all 18 year olds are like that, some just have boy friends or have other interests. I think the type of people they meet will be different from the ones they would meet in certain types of pubs or clubs or universities.

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By *occerstar579Man
over a year ago

Harrogate

Speaking as a male you think females arent mature enough?

Well i was a little confused

I know when re read it sounded a bit chauvinist but it wasn't meant to be. Just guess what I meant to say is am sure most swingers prefer experience over youth x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a load of rubbish, it's got nothing to do with anyone if young ADULTS yes adults are swinging.

They will make some choices in life which will be good and bad, that's what life is all about.

If your looking to try new things, go for it and make your own choices.

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By *entcockslutCouple
over a year ago

canterbury

No way, younger the better for us x

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

.....

Many people shouldnt be here because in my opinion they are not equipped to deal with NSA and that has nothing to do with their age.

There are 17,500+ people online now and 1,000+ in chatrooms. How many of these people do you know well enough to form that opinion?"
probably Nome of those, I'm not basing what I said on fab swingers alone but throughout my life.

I have met many people who!cannot deal with NSA and it has nothing to do with their age.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yet your age range is set 18-99 completely conflicting what you just said!so you would meet them even though you think it's wrong?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Speaking as a male you think females arent mature enough?

Well i was a little confused

I know when re read it sounded a bit chauvinist but it wasn't meant to be. Just guess what I meant to say is am sure most swingers prefer experience over youth x"

Couldnt say im a swingle not a swinger

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I find a lot of replies on this thread very hypocritical. Why is it ok for older people to swing but not younger? "

As I said in my post, because older people are less likely to be damaged by it. Some will be nonetheless, but I think what happens to you in your teenage years really sets you up for the rest of your life - or not.

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By *occerstar579Man
over a year ago

Harrogate

Speaking as a male you think females arent mature enough?

Well i was a little confused

I know when re read it sounded a bit chauvinist but it wasn't meant to be. Just guess what I meant to say is am sure most swingers prefer experience over youth x

Couldnt say im a swingle not a swinger

As a swingle u prefer youth or experience? If you had the option of meeting a 19 year old or a 30 year old today who u think u likely to go for...assuming u liked look of them both.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I find a lot of replies on this thread very hypocritical. Why is it ok for older people to swing but not younger?

Yes it does but how does meeting people for sex from the net differ to meeting them in a nightclub? How is that less damaging to someone who is likely to be harmed by casual sex?

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By *occerstar579Man
over a year ago

Harrogate

Yet your age range is set 18-99 completely conflicting what you just said!so you would meet them even though you think it's wrong? "

We are talking about age range for fab...I will chat to anyone of any age but I wouldn't actively take part in swinging with a 19 or 20 year old. . its my choice. Others will and that's there choice

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

"I find a lot of replies on this thread very hypocritical. Why is it ok for older people to swing but not younger?

Yes it does but how does meeting people for sex from the net differ to meeting them in a nightclub? How is that less damaging to someone who is likely to be harmed by casual sex?"

Maybe because they will be people of the same age and different types of people, the worst experiences I have had was with older men, not younger men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am speaking as a single guy and as an ex married couple

And on both occasions would not entertain anyone under 30 even that being the lower limit,

I know its sweeping generalisation but this lifestyle needs maturity, discretion and a well founded confidence and that only comes with age and experience

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I find a lot of replies on this thread very hypocritical. Why is it ok for older people to swing but not younger?

Yes it does but how does meeting people for sex from the net differ to meeting them in a nightclub? How is that less damaging to someone who is likely to be harmed by casual sex?"
this is what I can't understand and for me fab would be a better environment I would say pulling in a nightclub would be worse, as you may be under the influence of alcohol and making your decision based on that. Also you would know nothing about the person.

Now I know people lie on here but at least you would be able to tell a trusted a friend who and where your meeting someone.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I am speaking as a single guy and as an ex married couple

And on both occasions would not entertain anyone under 30 even that being the lower limit,

I know its sweeping generalisation but this lifestyle needs maturity, discretion and a well founded confidence and that only comes with age and experience

"
but the question wasn't about whether we would meet them but whether they should be swinging. I wouldn't want to meet an 18 year old,doesn't mean I think they shouldn't be here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like most things in life I think it depends on the individual, not necessarily their respective ages.

It's an old cliché but some do mature emotionally and sexually quicker than others, so that has to be taken into consideration.

Also some young people are still not 100 % sure about their sexuality so swinging for them, may not be advisable.

As a mature man I wouldn't entertain anybody under 30 but that's my choice.

Young people 18 - 21 have the same choice nobody leads anybody astray as far as I'm concerned.

To suggest that some younger people are not wise enough to make their own decisions is a bit patronising really, imo.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I find a lot of replies on this thread very hypocritical. Why is it ok for older people to swing but not younger?

Yes it does but how does meeting people for sex from the net differ to meeting them in a nightclub? How is that less damaging to someone who is likely to be harmed by casual sex?"

It may not be, but the fact that this site is set up to facilitate sex means that a lot more could happen with a lot more intensity and frequency. Is the average schoolgirl likely to pick up half a dozen middle aged men in a nightclub for a bareback anal gangbang?? I would guess not, yet it would be easy to take part in any number on here, everything can be amplified.

I get the point that similar can be found on any number of sites on the net, I'm not condemning this site, just agreeing that I think it's too young wherever it occurs.

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

"I find a lot of replies on this thread very hypocritical. Why is it ok for older people to swing but not younger?

Yes it does but how does meeting people for sex from the net differ to meeting them in a nightclub? How is that less damaging to someone who is likely to be harmed by casual sex?this is what I can't understand and for me fab would be a better environment I would say pulling in a nightclub would be worse, as you may be under the influence of alcohol and making your decision based on that. Also you would know nothing about the person.

Now I know people lie on here but at least you would be able to tell a trusted a friend who and where your meeting someone."

You cant always tell what a person is like on here until you have sex with them, they may be ok on the first meet but completely different on the second or third meet and just because they have good verifications doesn't always mean anything.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I also think us mature people should help and offer advice to them regardless of age a newbie is a newbie and not sure what to, etiquette and all the various things that's nothing to do with age just the fact they are new.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I find a lot of replies on this thread very hypocritical. Why is it ok for older people to swing but not younger?

Now I know people lie on here but at least you would be able to tell a trusted a friend who and where your meeting someone."

Personally I think objections to young swingers stem from people's belief that what we're doing is wrong therefore younger people should be protected from it and the still common belief that nice girls don't enjoy sex unless they're much older and wiser. That's why swinging is invested by some with qualities that make it more acceptable to them than just shagging around.

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

"I find a lot of replies on this thread very hypocritical. Why is it ok for older people to swing but not younger?

Yes it does but how does meeting people for sex from the net differ to meeting them in a nightclub? How is that less damaging to someone who is likely to be harmed by casual sex?

I get the point that similar can be found on any number of sites on the net, I'm not condemning this site, just agreeing that I think it's too young wherever it occurs."

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I find a lot of replies on this thread very hypocritical. Why is it ok for older people to swing but not younger?

Yes it does but how does meeting people for sex from the net differ to meeting them in a nightclub? How is that less damaging to someone who is likely to be harmed by casual sex?

I get the point that similar can be found on any number of sites on the net, I'm not condemning this site, just agreeing that I think it's too young wherever it occurs."
but is the average school girl going to be joining fab for multiple gangbangs.

I would say if that was what they wanted they have actively sought out a way of doing it.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I also!think (although I have no evidence) that young people would automatically take their sexual health seriously from the word go, as they have been brought up being educated about sexual health and quite the normal to go gum clinics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I also!think (although I have no evidence) that young people would automatically take their sexual health seriously from the word go, as they have been brought up being educated about sexual health and quite the normal to go gum clinics"

From experience I would say they do. I found its more older men who "prefer" to not use protection and think because they haven't had "that much sex with many partners" they don't need to be tested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find a lot of replies on this thread very hypocritical. Why is it ok for older people to swing but not younger?

Yes it does but how does meeting people for sex from the net differ to meeting them in a nightclub? How is that less damaging to someone who is likely to be harmed by casual sex?

I get the point that similar can be found on any number of sites on the net, I'm not condemning this site, just agreeing that I think it's too young wherever it occurs.but is the average school girl going to be joining fab for multiple gangbangs.

I would say if that was what they wanted they have actively sought out a way of doing it."

I had my first 3some at the age of 17. On here 3 somes are common and I wouldn't have been judged. At the time I was talked about and then branded a slut that anyone could have a go with

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

"I find a lot of replies on this thread very hypocritical. Why is it ok for older people to swing but not younger?

Now I know people lie on here but at least you would be able to tell a trusted a friend who and where your meeting someone.

guilty conscience; hence the need for 'protocol'

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I find a lot of replies on this thread very hypocritical. Why is it ok for older people to swing but not younger?

Yes it does but how does meeting people for sex from the net differ to meeting them in a nightclub? How is that less damaging to someone who is likely to be harmed by casual sex?

I would say if that was what they wanted they have actively sought out a way of doing it.

I had my first 3some at the age of 17. On here 3 somes are common and I wouldn't have been judged. At the time I was talked about and then branded a slut that anyone could have a go with "
did you actively seek it out or was it must one of those things that accciddntly happened

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep, far too young to swing.

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

From experience I would say they do. I found its more older men who "prefer" to not use protection and think because they haven't had "that much sex with many partners" they don't need to be tested. "

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

But I can make a 'risk assessment' entirely aside from any moral judgement. As a mature married couple who simply choose to have safe sex with additional partners, your risk is very low indeed I would say.

I have seen a woman walk in to a club for the first time ever on a Tuesday lunchtime and by 5 oclock be in an open play room being given a good seeing to by a group of men who's names she did not know. She seemed pretty shocked afterwards, it was not what she intended for the day - she was just kind of swept along. It's hard enough for an experienced, mature adult to maintain their boundaries in a club environment, let alone someone vulnerable or damaged looking for answers.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"
but there are plenty of vulnerable and damaged people in swinging anyway, you've only got to look at some forum posts.

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Also, there are far more sex campaigns aimed at under 25s I've seen posters up in places.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep, far too young to swing. "
As a previous poster stated ...25 is too young to swing.

Most dont swing they just use it as a sex site,in our eyes you need a partner to swing,anything else is just sex

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just a question op if your daughter was sexually active but not in a relationship would you sooner go pulling a different guy down the pub every weekend or join a swingers site and get to know the guys first"

Hi lovely!

My daughter's actually 24 now. She's not typical of many her own age (certainly not of me at that age) in that she'd only had 2 sexual partners at 21(she's very open with me). She's now living at home and single! Since moving back from London six months ago she's had a few 'one-off's' with male friends. If these became much more frequent then I'd recommend swingers clubs to her!

I agree with many that sexual maturity differs for each individual - but I still squirm at the thought of a teenager involved in a group session with much older people.

I just think their early sexual experiences should be with their own age group - possibly because mine were right up until I hit my forties! X

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

"Yep, far too young to swing. As a previous poster stated ...25 is too young to swing.

Most dont swing they just use it as a sex site,in our eyes you need a partner to swing,anything else is just sex"

In 'our' eyes, that is called adultery

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

but there are plenty of vulnerable and damaged people in swinging anyway, you've only got to look at some forum posts.

Exactly. And the younger they are, the more potential there is for life changing damage IMO.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep, far too young to swing. As a previous poster stated ...25 is too young to swing.

Most dont swing they just use it as a sex site,in our eyes you need a partner to swing,anything else is just sex"

Most as in everyone,including couples? Why do you think older people conduct their sex lives differently to younger? If you take the word swinging to be in it's purest form there wouldn't be many of any ages who fit the bill.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep, far too young to swing. As a previous poster stated ...25 is too young to swing.

Most dont swing they just use it as a sex site,in our eyes you need a partner to swing,anything else is just sex"

If the under 25 ' s were taken out , that would halve the amount of meets we've had !

We are happily married , and happy to continue to meet those who just want sex . Especially as that's what we want too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you not think that at that age they are liable to be more picky and make good use of verfications?

Ive always prefered older men but i would never have put myself in a situation i felt vulnerable in.

At that age i met dates through chat rooms rather than the real world and i was catious and slow.

You cant say they are or are not sensible in their approach. Sexual exploitation is in the papers everyday and todays generation are alot more aware of the issue. Im almost 30 now but i wasnt stupid at that age at all. Im no more sensible now than then. If anything i take more risks.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

but there are plenty of vulnerable and damaged people in swinging anyway, you've only got to look at some forum posts.

Exactly. And the younger they are, the more potential there is for life changing damage IMO."
do you think that? I've never known anyone become damaged by their sex lives at a young age its a part of growing up

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

but there are plenty of vulnerable and damaged people in swinging anyway, you've only got to look at some forum posts.

Exactly. And the younger they are, the more potential there is for life changing damage IMO.do you think that? I've never known anyone become damaged by their sex lives at a young age its a part of growing up"

I disagree, I have seen many.

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

If you consider that swinging is a form of non-monogamy, and the opposite is monogamy, then I would say that there aren't too many monogamous people at 21.

Now let me clarify, to me, I think monogamy has to be linked to a long term relationship. I wouldn't say that being "monogamous" to one person tonight, and a different one tomorrow and another the next night, really fits with most people's definition of monogamous.

I think at 21, a lot of people are having one night stands, FWB arrangements, bf/gf relationships for a few weeks or months etc. So I wouldn't call that swinging, but I wouldn't call it monogamy either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know what you mean - but I'm not sure that's an age issue as much as a personality one. I'm suspicious of clubs anyway, but I'd worry for a timid or poorly educated 40 year old woman who had been in a relationship with one man her whole life more than a smart and bolshy 20 year old who was experienced in online dating, Tinder and d*unken threesomes at university.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

but there are plenty of vulnerable and damaged people in swinging anyway, you've only got to look at some forum posts.

I disagree, I have seen many. "
purely because they had joined a swingers site?

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Oh for sure. I guess my feeling is that people in their teens particularly have a psyche that is still forming which is more vulnerable to any negative impact, even if they come from a stable, nurturing background that has given them good self-esteem and boundaries.

A timid 40 yr old with issues can easily be hurt, of course, but I think the die is already cast so it is less likely to affect 'who they are'.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I just see it as if there the kind of people who actively seek out a swingera website you must want to be experimenting and i see this aa a safer environment. Sone innocent thing isnt just going to stumble across fab and have sex forced on them

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I just see it as if there the kind of people who actively seek out a swingera website you must want to be experimenting and i see this aa a safer environment. Sone innocent thing isnt just going to stumble across fab and have sex forced on them"

Yeah I agree to an extent!

However - several weeks ago I had my name down for a 'greedy' event at a club. A 57 year old guy posted to say that he was taking along a 19 year old girl. Must admit - rightly or wrongly - my stomach churned a bit!

Think it goes back to my view (or arguably prejudice) that very young people should be experimenting with other very young people - not people my age or a lot older!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had many multiple partner experiences when I was under 21 with boyfriends, girlfriends and friends alike.

Started attending swingers clubs when I was 21 with my O/H and haven't looked back since.

I think it really depends on the person, if you aren't mature enough to be able to compose yourself in public or deal with the emotional freedoms and personal responsibilities of sharing sexual partners, then you shouldn't be a swinger.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Yeah I agree to an extent!

Think it goes back to my view (or arguably prejudice) that very young people should be experimenting with other very young people - not people my age or a lot older! "
so its nothing to do with young swingers but the age of the person they are doing it with which in my opinion is a ridiculous view. Hes probably going to take care of her and look after better than soneone her age as he has the experince

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What a load of rubbish, it's got nothing to do with anyone if young ADULTS yes adults are swinging.

They will make some choices in life which will be good and bad, that's what life is all about.

If your looking to try new things, go for it and make your own choices."

well said

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah I agree to an extent!

Think it goes back to my view (or arguably prejudice) that very young people should be experimenting with other very young people - not people my age or a lot older! so its nothing to do with young swingers but the age of the person they are doing it with which in my opinion is a ridiculous view. Hes probably going to take care of her and look after better than soneone her age as he has the experince"

Since when was every view we ever had based on logic?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Saying that 17-21 year olds shouldn't be swinging just honestly comes across as you don't like the younger competition.

You can't tell people what they should or shouldn't be doing at whatever age. So long as they come across as sensible about it then I don't see why not? We've played with some very lovely 20 year olds who are very mature in nature. Just because they're slightly younger than most of the swinging community that shouldn't exclude them from the fun.

I am yet to find a young persons profile on here who hasn't come across as in control, sensible and mature.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I agree to an extent!

Have to agree with this .

At any given time we will be helping younger swingers find their feet .

It's much safer with us than in a non swinging environment ....

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By *oungladMan
over a year ago

Burnham

I hope 21 isn't too young otherwise it might make things awkward for all the people I met...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I absolutely detest the concept of judging someone's maturity and ability to 'cope' with certain situations based on their age. You have no idea what someone has been through! Judge it on the individual.

Personally I wish I'd been more open sexually when I was younger, I'd have been considerably less miserable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I agree to an extent!

Is it not just as ridiculous to say that a 57 year old man will be more experienced and take more care of someone than it is to say a 19 year old is inexperienced and needs protecting?

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By *XHNHWoman
over a year ago

Stokeish...

I started going to clubs (chams first) regularly from 19

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By *rKinkedKuntMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

Okay let's spin this question on its head. If at 19 you think they are too young what about those who might argue your too old? (your of course not but those young ones who go may think so as you do about them)

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Yeah I agree to an extent!

Is it not just as ridiculous to say that a 57 year old man will be more experienced and take more care of someone than it is to say a 19 year old is inexperienced and needs protecting? "
no I'm not saying he will be more experienced but there is more chance that he would know how it all works than another 19 year old

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By *aughty_nymphWoman
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I started swinging young (18/19) and I joined solely to experiment with women and couples.

Having been on the scene on and off for a few years now and crossed off a lot of my bucket list, I have calmed right down with MMF FFM and every combination you can imagine and I prefer one on one meets.

I don't get to do the whole "clubbing one night stand thing" because of my career choice (I work in hospitality!) so I use fab to have NSA.

I enjoy the club scene as nothing is judgemental there and I like meeting people who are open minded.

I wouldn't class myself as a swinger any more but I still do participate in swinging "activity".....

Everyone to their own at the end of the day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think anyone over 40 is too old because they might dislocate a hip or something. Also my parents are in their 40s so people that age having sex is just disgusting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm 19, turning 20 and I've been on here for almost a year and a half including my old account from back at home, and I can understand why some people may think 21 and younger is too early to be getting involved but it's something that I would definitely disagree with,

I think once your 18 you're definitely aware enough to be able to weigh up what it is you like, what it is you dislike and what it is that you want to try out.

Personally I'd say that starting when I was 18 was great, I've been able to meet new people and help to fulfil many of their fantasies as well as some of my own, away from the sex/swinging side of things (I'm aware I'm not a full swinger) I think that meeting these older women and couples has really helped me mature a lot faster and be more comfortable around much older people in general which can only be a positive.

Obviously everybody is different and some other 18 year olds will not mature or react to it in the same way in which I have but at least they know from an early(ish)

age that it's not for them, which must surely help to get rid of any lingering "what ifs" for them in the future.

But all in all I can see where you're coming from but I think everybody's different, and regardless of age everybody see's their own world in their own way and its up to each person to do whatever it is that they want to do in it, if older people enjoy meeting with younger people then great, if not then no harm done everyone will just get on with what they're doing

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Yeah I agree to an extent!

Since when was every view we ever had based on logic? "
but your opening post said it was about young people swinging now your saying your happy for young people to experiment as long as it's with people their own age

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

And also this 19 year old going to a greedy girls party may have been to ?oads before and it's not her first time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Experimenting with sex and in some cases your sexuality.. Should surely be a better experience surrounded by like minded people...

No matter your age

An adult is an adult.. No matter their age.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to confess I have very mixed views about people in their teens being involved in swinging.

Of course they are legally entitled to do it but I fear for them.

The problem with swinging is that it is not something to base a relationship upon. A real relationship in my humble opinion needs much more those quiet evenings of quiet cuddling together in bed.

Wild group sex is a wonderfully exciting extra but my fear is that without having a bit more life experience it is possible to confuse porno swinging sex with real life relationships.

I am not sure that makes much sense even to me

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