FabSwingers.com forum: Blocked!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I was about to meet a woman this week. I have asked her very politely, to confirm whether she is STI free as I always play safe. I havent got a straight forward answer so I asked her again, however today she has blocked me for some reason! What does that mean?

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By *he devil wears pradaWoman
over a year ago

gosport ish

I think it's very clear why she has blocked you op

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was about to meet a woman this week. I have asked her very politely, to confirm whether she is STI free as I always play safe. I havent got a straight forward answer so I asked her again, however today she has blocked me for some reason! What does that mean?"

It means she no longer wants to meet you

Some people may find it offensive to be asked about stis in quite such a straightforward way

I'd have to ask though, how would you confirm her or anyone else's status if they chose to answer that question and how would you prove to them subsequently that you are also free of any?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it unreasonable to ask someone you're about to casually fuck if they take an interest in their sexual health?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it unreasonable to ask someone you're about to casually fuck if they take an interest in their sexual health? "

For that person,it seems it is.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It means she no longer wants to meet you

Some people may find it offensive to be asked about stis in quite such a straightforward way

I'd have to ask though, how would you confirm her or anyone else's status if they chose to answer that question and how would you prove to them subsequently that you are also free of any?"
I just asked for an assurance and never asked for any test certificate, There is a risk factor but I trust what other people say! I cant understand what is wrong in asking as in her profile it clearly says she prefer barebacks so just thought to be safe

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The conversation was flowing nicely and she was very chatty but avoided my query related to STI. All I wanted is just an assurance based on mutual trust !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's an important topic to broach especially if someone likes to play bare but if you asked it in such a blunt manner I can see why it's caused offence.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's an important topic to broach especially if someone likes to play bare but if you asked it in such a blunt manner I can see why it's caused offence. "
no I asked very politely and not in a blunt manner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

By always playing safe do you mean asking someone who plays bare if they are clean or using condoms?

If it is the second then why we're u thinking of playing bare with someone u don't know?

It isn't unreasonable to ask for info to calculate risk and if she blocked u u have had a narrow escape. I'd just move on from it and avoid barebacker if u want to play "safe".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's an important topic to broach especially if someone likes to play bare but if you asked it in such a blunt manner I can see why it's caused offence. no I asked very politely and not in a blunt manner "

Ok cool, that wasn't clear in your OP. Any mention of the words 'STI free' is going to cause offence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"By always playing safe do you mean asking someone who plays bare if they are clean or using condoms?

If it is the second then why we're u thinking of playing bare with someone u don't know?

It isn't unreasonable to ask for info to calculate risk and if she blocked u u have had a narrow escape. I'd just move on from it and avoid barebacker if u want to play "safe"."
she was a barebacker but I am not. Agree I have to move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your sexual health is your responsibility, no one elses. Assume everyone you meet does have an STI and you'll be fine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She may have not been tested since her last bare encounter. She can't be 100% sure if she doesn't have anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She is a bare backer....I am not"

Maybe that's why she doesn't want to play...? Maybe you shouldn't want to play with her?

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

"Your sexual health is your responsibility, no one elses. Assume everyone you meet does have an STI and you'll be fine. "

Cynical but wise.....

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

"Your sexual health is your responsibility, no one elses. Assume everyone you meet does have an STI and you'll be fine. "

It ain't exactly nuclear physics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your sexual health is your responsibility, no one elses. Assume everyone you meet does have an STI and you'll be fine. "

It's an incredibly stupid question to ask.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you confirm your own STI status?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Did you confirm your own STI status? "
yes I did

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By *ilmiss75Woman
over a year ago

Thornton

If you "always" play safe(you say)... Why would you even want to consider playing with someone asking for bareback?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you just messaged literally asking if she had an STI then I can see why she would block you, it's a silly question to ask because how on earth can you be sure of a correct answer.

You can however ask these things in general chat without a blunt direct question. As the conversation was flowing why didn't you just throw in there that you always play safe and always use condoms. That way she knows there's no bareback on offer in this instance. Some people, rather than being hesitant just don't bother contacting or getting into possible meet conversations with people who bareback if they are so anti.

There isn't any complete safety guide, but you can only be responsible for your own sexual health and ensure you wear a condom with each partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really, you have to ask? She's not interested op! Move on and don't waste a nano second more of your time worrying about it, life really is too short!

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

It means she no longer wants to meet you

Some people may find it offensive to be asked about stis in quite such a straightforward way

I'd have to ask though, how would you confirm her or anyone else's status if they chose to answer that question and how would you prove to them subsequently that you are also free of any?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you "always" play safe(you say)... Why would you even want to consider playing with someone asking for bareback?"

This is what I can't understand, the only conclusion I can come to is that the OP would rather consider this because other meet chances may be limited.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To save embarrassment maybe there should be a tick box in preferences LOL

Sti free

Got the clap

Sorry just making light of a crazy situation

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

"Is it unreasonable to ask someone you're about to casually fuck if they take an interest in their sexual health? "

Nothing.

It is OK to ask......but what makes you think you will get a 100% honest answer?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is it unreasonable to ask someone you're about to casually fuck if they take an interest in their sexual health?

Nothing.

It is OK to ask......but what makes you think you will get a 100% honest answer?"

As I mentioned just based on trust! Better than assuming I thought

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't get a certificate from sexual health clinic but you do get a text

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Is it unreasonable to ask someone you're about to casually fuck if they take an interest in their sexual health?

Nothing.

It is OK to ask......but what makes you think you will get a 100% honest answer?

As I mentioned just based on trust! Better than assuming I thought"
seriously, if someone had an sti they wouldn't be playing until they had got it cleared up. If they where playing with an sti they are hardly going to tell you are they.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She either took offence or was a bloke...move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it unreasonable to ask someone you're about to casually fuck if they take an interest in their sexual health?

Nothing.

It is OK to ask......but what makes you think you will get a 100% honest answer?

As I mentioned just based on trust! Better than assuming I thought"

"Trust" isn't 100% "safe" might be wise to remember that

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Is it unreasonable to ask someone you're about to casually fuck if they take an interest in their sexual health?

Nothing.

It is OK to ask......but what makes you think you will get a 100% honest answer?

As I mentioned just based on trust! Better than assuming I thought"

You must ask anything you feel you need to ask, the other persons reaction to the question is beyond your control though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you asked here, is it safe to assume just because you typed your sti free that its game on, some people will find that offensive, maybe you should of let here know you have txts on your phone to show you are clean without going into too much detail

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She either took offence or was a bloke...move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So it was your first chance of a meet and you messed it up by your lack of tact.

Cockwomble.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did you expect her to say? "I do have diseased genitals?"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What did you expect her to say? "I do have diseased genitals?""

At least an assurance or a vague I am not sure kind of a reply?

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By *vgloryholebs16TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol.

I do exactly the same when someone asks me..Why would you ask? furthermore who is going to say,i am hiv positive,carrier of herpes,have gonnorhea and crabs thriving nicely???

A lot of people have never been tested and have infections..

Let us take responsibility for ourselves and assume everyone is positive and you will be ok...

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

"Is it unreasonable to ask someone you're about to casually fuck if they take an interest in their sexual health?

Nothing.

It is OK to ask......but what makes you think you will get a 100% honest answer?

As I mentioned just based on trust! Better than assuming I thought"

And I assume that I am unable to trust a complete stranger to be 100% truthful about their sexual health.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You tried to win brownie points by looking like you cared about sexual health and you made yourself look a jerk

Women are odd . Even they don't understand fully why they sometimes just lose interest in someone for the simplest of things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it unreasonable to ask someone you're about to casually fuck if they take an interest in their sexual health?

Nothing.

It is OK to ask......but what makes you think you will get a 100% honest answer?

As I mentioned just based on trust! Better than assuming I thoughtseriously, if someone had an sti they wouldn't be playing until they had got it cleared up. If they where playing with an sti they are hardly going to tell you are they."

Unless it's herpes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You tried to win brownie points by looking like you cared about sexual health and you made yourself look a jerk

Women are odd . Even they don't understand fully why they sometimes just lose interest in someone for the simplest of things "

I care a lot about these things, not pretending

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you confirm your own STI status? yes I did"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do exactly the same when someone asks me..Why would you ask? furthermore who is going to say,i am hiv positive,carrier of herpes,have gonnorhea and crabs thriving nicely???

A lot of people have never been tested and have infections..

Let us take responsibility for ourselves and assume everyone is positive and you will be ok...

Loads of people using condoms never get tested because they think they are 'safe'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You tried to win brownie points by looking like you cared about sexual health and you made yourself look a jerk

Women are odd . Even they don't understand fully why they sometimes just lose interest in someone for the simplest of things

I care a lot about these things, not pretending "

Then don't agree to have sex with people that you know indulge in bare back. That does not put you in a safe position by any means, but certainly puts you in a safer position.

I really don't understand what you would hope to gain by asking the question, other than some vague self-induced sense of safety.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Safe sex is no sex, so you'll be safe, OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You tried to win brownie points by looking like you cared about sexual health and you made yourself look a jerk

Women are odd . Even they don't understand fully why they sometimes just lose interest in someone for the simplest of things

I care a lot about these things, not pretending "

Then I'm not sure why you even considered meeting someone who preferred bareback meets as someone else said. People get blocked every second on here for many different things, its life, its not personal so move on.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You tried to win brownie points by looking like you cared about sexual health and you made yourself look a jerk

Women are odd . Even they don't understand fully why they sometimes just lose interest in someone for the simplest of things

I care a lot about these things, not pretending

She said shes ok with condom!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Safe sex is no sex, so you'll be safe, OP. "

Lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You tried to win brownie points by looking like you cared about sexual health and you made yourself look a jerk

Women are odd . Even they don't understand fully why they sometimes just lose interest in someone for the simplest of things

I care a lot about these things, not pretending

Then don't agree to have sex with people that you know indulge in bare back. That does not put you in a safe position by any means, but certainly puts you in a safer position.

I really don't understand what you would hope to gain by asking the question, other than some vague self-induced sense of safety."

As I mentioned better than nothing and assumptions

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

You tried to win brownie points by looking like you cared about sexual health and you made yourself look a jerk

Women are odd . Even they don't understand fully why they sometimes just lose interest in someone for the simplest of things

I care a lot about these things, not pretending

Then don't agree to have sex with people that you know indulge in bare back. That does not put you in a safe position by any means, but certainly puts you in a safer position.

I really don't understand what you would hope to gain by asking the question, other than some vague self-induced sense of safety.

As I mentioned better than nothing and assumptions"

Even if someone is fresh from the clinic with a shiny new text you can't be sure. Some sti have incubation periods and may not register on a test for a while - HIV being the biggie.

What about throat swabs? Not everyone gets those but many offer unprotected oral without a second thought.

Asking is possibly borderline offensive. Yes your sexual health is paramount but you have to weigh the risks against wanting to indulge in thr lifestyle. If you want to carry on then play as safe as you choose to but do it with all the information. If someone barebacks and you don't then decide if you are willing to indulge with them - demanding to know their test results is not helpful and you have no proof that they're telling the truth anyway.

Quick question OP: do you know about proper condom use? When and how to put it on? What might cause breakages or problems? What kind of fluids can transmit what diseases?

Lots of people whack a condom on and think they're safe. Condoms are not 100% and poor handling drops those percentages dramatically.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But on a different note

Women have this uncanny almost psychic sense

Perhaps she blocked you because she thought you would discuss her stuff in the forums if things went wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a crisp packet and a shoelace works far better than a condom

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You tried to win brownie points by looking like you cared about sexual health and you made yourself look a jerk

Women are odd . Even they don't understand fully why they sometimes just lose interest in someone for the simplest of things

I care a lot about these things, not pretending

Then don't agree to have sex with people that you know indulge in bare back. That does not put you in a safe position by any means, but certainly puts you in a safer position.

I really don't understand what you would hope to gain by asking the question, other than some vague self-induced sense of safety.

As I mentioned better than nothing and assumptions

Even if someone is fresh from the clinic with a shiny new text you can't be sure. Some sti have incubation periods and may not register on a test for a while - HIV being the biggie.

What about throat swabs? Not everyone gets those but many offer unprotected oral without a second thought.

Quick question OP: do you know about proper condom use? When and how to put it on? What might cause breakages or problems? What kind of fluids can transmit what diseases?

Lots of people whack a condom on and think they're safe. Condoms are not 100% and poor handling drops those percentages dramatically."

Thanks for the detailed reply

. Yes quite aware of its use. Never thought its 100 % protective but is by far the best we can try?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"But on a different note

Women have this uncanny almost psychic sense

Perhaps she blocked you because she thought you would discuss her stuff in the forums if things went wrong "

Hmm.. But she should have atleast said shes not sure and I would have avoided by all means. Thought people are open and straight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But on a different note

Women have this uncanny almost psychic sense

Perhaps she blocked you because she thought you would discuss her stuff in the forums if things went wrong

Hmm.. But she should have atleast said shes not sure and I would have avoided by all means. Thought people are open and straight."

You have much to learn! The long and short of it is she blocked you, get over it, NEXT!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"But on a different note

Women have this uncanny almost psychic sense

Perhaps she blocked you because she thought you would discuss her stuff in the forums if things went wrong

Hmm.. But she should have atleast said shes not sure and I would have avoided by all means. Thought people are open and straight.

You have much to learn! The long and short of it is she blocked you, get over it, NEXT!

I agree so much to learn !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You tried to win brownie points by looking like you cared about sexual health and you made yourself look a jerk

Women are odd . Even they don't understand fully why they sometimes just lose interest in someone for the simplest of things

I care a lot about these things, not pretending

Then don't agree to have sex with people that you know indulge in bare back. That does not put you in a safe position by any means, but certainly puts you in a safer position.

I really don't understand what you would hope to gain by asking the question, other than some vague self-induced sense of safety.

As I mentioned better than nothing and assumptions"

Let me put it in simple terms.

"Yes, I do bare back but I do not have a sexual disease," makes you feel better. OK.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You tried to win brownie points by looking like you cared about sexual health and you made yourself look a jerk

Women are odd . Even they don't understand fully why they sometimes just lose interest in someone for the simplest of things

I care a lot about these things, not pretending

Then don't agree to have sex with people that you know indulge in bare back. That does not put you in a safe position by any means, but certainly puts you in a safer position.

I really don't understand what you would hope to gain by asking the question, other than some vague self-induced sense of safety.

As I mentioned better than nothing and assumptions

Let me put it in simple terms.

"Yes, I do bare back but I do not have a sexual disease," makes you feel better. OK."

Thats the kind of answer which I was expecting, simple.

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By *lorious hole bs16Man
over a year ago

Bristol

Dont fuck if your paranoid about std's...

Have you thought of all the things you can do without penetration?

Ask anyone who was sexually active in the early 80's during the last century...Yes we are old but we survived..

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By *adja_lazloCouple
over a year ago

Solihull

pretty obvious, she no likey and no wanty meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

pretty obvious, she no likey and no wanty meet "

Nah, she was feeling a bit itchy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trust.....did someone really say trust......I'm chattin to a guy who has been sayin for the last 9 months that has gunna meet me. App hes going to meet me this weekend! Yea I really trust him

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By *-angel-XWoman
over a year ago

hell

I wouldn't go near anyone who only bb ! Or anyone with that amount of play meets either .

Always assume Someone has an sti and play as safe as you can

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As for the op......you say you always play "safe" but yet want to know her sti status. I know condoms ain't infalable but surly if your wanting to play "safe" n use a condom it souldnt be a question that needs askin

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By *hrobinhoodMan
over a year ago

arnold, Nottingham

"As for the op......you say you always play "safe" but yet want to know her sti status. I know condoms ain't infalable but surly if your wanting to play "safe" n use a condom it souldnt be a question that needs askin

Well condoms wont protect you either if you do blow jobs without one, So at the end of day it all comes down to trust!

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

OP, you can make a request to the moderators to delete this thread

I know the person you are referring to as do many others here. This is not fair on them as irrespective of what you may think of their actions, I bet they did not wish for a private communication to be made public

Hit the report button and make the request

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP, you can make a request to the moderators to delete this thread

Hit the report button and make the request"

And take it that when someone blocks you they are not interested, as you well knew, you were just venting your frustration in public which is unfair on the other person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It means she no longer wants to meet you

Some people may find it offensive to be asked about stis in quite such a straightforward way

I'd have to ask though, how would you confirm her or anyone else's status if they chose to answer that question and how would you prove to them subsequently that you are also free of any? I just asked for an assurance and never asked for any test certificate, There is a risk factor but I trust what other people say! I cant understand what is wrong in asking as in her profile it clearly says she prefer barebacks so just thought to be safe

"
how would you know she wasn't lying by saying she was clear of sti's? The only way would be a lie detector.

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By *ad ScotsmanMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

There is a lot of great advice on this thread. What I don't understand is why a guy who plays as safe as possible would even consider meeting a woman with so many meets and veris and plays bareback.

I certainly wouldn't consider her. Think of the increased risk.

she might be the best ever, but I'd rather miss out.

I think the OP has had a lucky escape.

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

Ive removed posts and as the lady in question might not appreciate everyone discussing her in the forums Im closing this now sorry

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