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over reaction?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So last night for the first time we decided to look for a single man, found someone we liked and headed to a private room

It was good but ended abruptly when the bloke tried for a third time, anal with Mrs Yorkshire after being told no, at this point both of us made it perfectly clear this wasn't acceptable and left

What are your thoughts over reaction or perfectly reasonable?

We think perfectly reasonable but being our first time we just wanted other opinions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop play as soon as he's been told no and tries it again, if he got told before you started playing then stop the first time he tries it on. Too many disrespectful, predatory people in swinging and they need to be stopped.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So last night for the first time we decided to look for a single man, found someone we liked and headed to a private room

It was good but ended abruptly when the bloke tried for a third time, anal with Mrs Yorkshire after being told no, at this point both of us made it perfectly clear this wasn't acceptable and left

What are your thoughts over reaction or perfectly reasonable?

We think perfectly reasonable but being our first time we just wanted other opinions "

Personally, he wouldn't have even got a second opportunity with us as he would have been given his marching orders (and that's putting it politely!)

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I get this a lot. I just say 'that's not going to happen'. If he does it again, I end play.

Being unprepared for anal causes me pain. If someone can't understand that then they're not worth the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely you can see this isn't an overreaction, as you've basically said no to something and he's tried to carry on with it. How rude and disrespectful, what an idiot - happens across all people, annoying for sure.

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By *isa 59Woman
over a year ago

Newcastle


"Stop play as soon as he's been told no and tries it again, if he got told before you started playing then stop the first time he tries it on. Too many disrespectful, predatory people in swinging and they need to be stopped."

This

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Perfectly reasonable, just because you're swinging doesn't mean that the normal rule of "no means no" doesn't apply.

If you find something unacceptable then it is.

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By *iss pickleWoman
over a year ago

luton

Perfectly reasonable! It's your way or the highway! xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe he slipped and accidentally nearly went into the wrong hole 3 times...?

Ok maybe not

You did exactly the right thing in sticking with your guns op.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No means no in my book. Perfectly reasonable. Hope it hasn't put you off for the future.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"So last night for the first time we decided to look for a single man, found someone we liked and headed to a private room

It was good but ended abruptly when the bloke tried for a third time, anal with Mrs Yorkshire after being told no, at this point both of us made it perfectly clear this wasn't acceptable and left

What are your thoughts over reaction or perfectly reasonable?

We think perfectly reasonable but being our first time we just wanted other opinions "

Why do you feel you need to ask? Your rules! The first time he tried if boundaries hadn't been set, ok but you should have sent him packing after the second time.

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By *aGaGagging for itCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Consider the legal definition of rape - A person commits rape if they intentionally penetrate the vagina, anus or mouth of another person with their penis without consent.

With that in mind, you could be accused of under reacting! Additionally, you both would have been able to take reasonable measures to prevent it occurring and the guy concerned could be considered lucky to get away without a criminal charge and end up on the sex offender register!

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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago

Ashton Under Lyne


"So last night for the first time we decided to look for a single man, found someone we liked and headed to a private room

It was good but ended abruptly when the bloke tried for a third time, anal with Mrs Yorkshire after being told no, at this point both of us made it perfectly clear this wasn't acceptable and left

What are your thoughts over reaction or perfectly reasonable?

We think perfectly reasonable but being our first time we just wanted other opinions "

Perfectly reasonable, just missing one thing - a tight slap across his face.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks folks we'll chalk it upto experience and be firmer and quicker to react in future

Ref the rape thing is didn't get that far but we understand your point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So last night for the first time we decided to look for a single man, found someone we liked and headed to a private room

It was good but ended abruptly when the bloke tried for a third time, anal with Mrs Yorkshire after being told no, at this point both of us made it perfectly clear this wasn't acceptable and left

What are your thoughts over reaction or perfectly reasonable?

We think perfectly reasonable but being our first time we just wanted other opinions

Perfectly reasonable, just missing one thing - a tight slap across his face."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wouldn't have gotten to the third time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's very tempting to say say "Turn around and bend over" then jam 3 fingers up their un-prepared arse,see how they like it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dam he should have shown some respect. Thats just bloody rude

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

The first time could have been a misunderstanding but a second attempt would have been the end of his meet with us he would not have had a third chance

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

It is difficult the first time in a club, I know that I was nervous in a similar situation and needed my partner to assert herself over a couple that were overstepping my boundaries. At the end of the day, no means no and you did the right thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perfectly reasonable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perfectly reasonable,

As many have stated above, If he tried for a second time after hearing a no then play would have ended, so effectively he had more chances than most.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Before each meet we always say "there will be no anal,are you into having your nose broken?" Then if there's any 'accidents' everyone knows where we stand. "Oh sorry, i thought you may have changed your mind on not being into having a broken nose as well!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The first time could have been a misunderstanding but a second attempt would have been the end of his meet with us he would not have had a third chance"

Don't ever feel bad for saying no!! x

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

There would have been NO 3rd chance.

If I had said before play started what was NOT going to happen, ie no anal, but he tried anyway then he would have been told sharply and play would end there and then.

If I hadn't told him no anal, he tries once and I say no, we continue playing and he tries a 2nd time then nasty words and him being kicked out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some guys just can't listen when they get a hard cock all the blood leaves they head I've had guys try and bareback when in private they just think they can do what they like in private

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By *ancscleanguyMan
over a year ago

Preston

No means no. He sounds like a bully.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you should have pinned him down and got your missus to stick a 12" and very wide strap-on up his bottom - and buggered him senseless

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Having told him no you were perfectly right to do that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"No means no. He sounds like a bully.

"

Thanks all its a learning curve we will be quicker in future

To be honest a bully would have been easier to deal with this guy was just persistent. Easier from the point of view we both do karate regularly and the Mrs teaches it

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

No always means no .. What an idiot

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By *arnaclebillMan
over a year ago

Robin Hood County


"Stop play as soon as he's been told no and tries it again, if he got told before you started playing then stop the first time he tries it on. Too many disrespectful, predatory people in swinging and they need to be stopped."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not an over-reaction at all - totally crossing boundaries

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By *atEvolutionCouple
over a year ago

atlantisEVOLUTION. Stoke. HOT WIVES Sat 01

lol. an 'under-reaction' would have been a penis in your anus!

He shouldn't have tried to start with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't have let them try it on three times personally. As far as I'm concerned - if you're not asked beforehand, then anal isn't going to happen. I've stopped a session the first time someone tried. I just said if they were trying to do things that we hadn't already negotiated (because I made it clear I negotiate beforehand) then I couldn't trust them anymore and I kicked them out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need to have a 12" dildo and when he tried it the 2nd time Shove it up hes arse see how he likes it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

By no means were you overreacting. Boundaries and respect should always be adhered to!

There's always one tosser who ruins things

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By *arehamMan
over a year ago

handforth

This is what gives us single men a bad name,he should be happy you invite him to have fun with you the pillock.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldn't have let them try it on three times personally. As far as I'm concerned - if you're not asked beforehand, then anal isn't going to happen. I've stopped a session the first time someone tried. I just said if they were trying to do things that we hadn't already negotiated (because I made it clear I negotiate beforehand) then I couldn't trust them anymore and I kicked them out."

This!

Also goes for any kind of play that hasn't been agreed to beforehand, or at least checked with both of us during play it's ok to try/do something.

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By *uriousTwosomeCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

No means no. Simple!

We both do martial arts, after second time he would have regretted it ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No means no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No means no. Simple!

We both do martial arts, after second time he would have regretted it ??"

No need for the second line.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's very tempting to say say "Turn around and bend over" then jam 3 fingers up their un-prepared arse,see how they like it."

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By *es-sMan
over a year ago

Rugby


"Stop play as soon as he's been told no and tries it again, if he got told before you started playing then stop the first time he tries it on. Too many disrespectful, predatory people in swinging and they need to be stopped."
Totally agree stop any play if he can't respect a NO

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

FWIW, I don't think it's ok to say 'shove three fingers up him' or 'do him with a 12 inch dildo'. I know that these things are being said in jest - but they're still sexual assault if someone actually tried it on to 'teach someone a lesson'. I don't think it's ok to joke about that being the response, when we're talking about something as serious as this.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think this ties in with the thread about being too nice for swinging. Everyone needs to realise that enjoying sex with multiple partners on a casual basis doesn't make you any less entitled to the same respect you'd hope is shown to non swingers. That also means that you should respect yourself enough to realise that you're entitled to that respect.

Too many "respects" I know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"FWIW, I don't think it's ok to say 'shove three fingers up him' or 'do him with a 12 inch dildo'. I know that these things are being said in jest - but they're still sexual assault if someone actually tried it on to 'teach someone a lesson'. I don't think it's ok to joke about that being the response, when we're talking about something as serious as this."

Pretty sick really.

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

OP, you definately did not over react; NO means NO whatever the scenario!

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

No means no and I would never do anal in a club anyway especially if it was the first time I had met the female or couple

If I knew the female or couple and I seen that they liked anal I would never instigate the play as I am not a huge fan of it but have done it a couple of times mainly in a dp situation

If he was told no and stop then he should of

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If that was me hubby would be politely but respectfully escorting said gent of the premises, and introducing his bollocks to the other end of a rapidly swinging size 9. Anal would be the last thing on his mind then. Finding the ability to stand up and walk would be much more pressing.

Did you over react no not at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"FWIW, I don't think it's ok to say 'shove three fingers up him' or 'do him with a 12 inch dildo'. I know that these things are being said in jest - but they're still sexual assault if someone actually tried it on to 'teach someone a lesson'. I don't think it's ok to joke about that being the response, when we're talking about something as serious as this."

what is your problem with people retaliating?

you seem to live in a bubble of fear where if someone takes advantage you just roll over like a puppy. maybe thats just a sexual kick of yours.

we wont let anyone take the piss out of us.try and fuck nikki up her arse after being told NO numerous times is time for a bit of a lesson. maybe in your leftwing world,letting this happen is all you are capable of. but hey ho, some people dont take shit off piss takers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No means no. Simple!

We both do martial arts, after second time he would have regretted it ??"

oh no defending your self on here is frowned upon by the weak and cowardly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not weak or cowardly. I don't condone violence though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not weak or cowardly. I don't condone violence though. "

I don't condone people who may try and stick his cock up my wife's arse after being told not too. If they like taking the risks .should accept when it doesn't pay off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've had the same. Easily resolved without threats though.

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By *i1971Man
over a year ago

Cornwall

Certainly not an over reaction

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By *emon tart Double creamCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Can't believe he would even consider it unless he received a pretty obvious invitation and by that I mean, Mrs took his cock out of her pussy and placed it at the entrance to her bum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"FWIW, I don't think it's ok to say 'shove three fingers up him' or 'do him with a 12 inch dildo'. I know that these things are being said in jest - but they're still sexual assault if someone actually tried it on to 'teach someone a lesson'. I don't think it's ok to joke about that being the response, when we're talking about something as serious as this.

what is your problem with people retaliating?

you seem to live in a bubble of fear where if someone takes advantage you just roll over like a puppy. maybe thats just a sexual kick of yours.

we wont let anyone take the piss out of us.try and fuck nikki up her arse after being told NO numerous times is time for a bit of a lesson. maybe in your leftwing world,letting this happen is all you are capable of. but hey ho, some people dont take shit off piss takers. "

I retaliate by saying 'no' and then throwing them out or leaving. I don't believe the answer to sexual violence is more sexual violence.

I wouldn't even get to the stage where I had to say no to somebody numerous times. That's the difference. They wouldn't need a lesson - they'd already be gone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"FWIW, I don't think it's ok to say 'shove three fingers up him' or 'do him with a 12 inch dildo'. I know that these things are being said in jest - but they're still sexual assault if someone actually tried it on to 'teach someone a lesson'. I don't think it's ok to joke about that being the response, when we're talking about something as serious as this.

what is your problem with people retaliating?

you seem to live in a bubble of fear where if someone takes advantage you just roll over like a puppy. maybe thats just a sexual kick of yours.

we wont let anyone take the piss out of us.try and fuck nikki up her arse after being told NO numerous times is time for a bit of a lesson. maybe in your leftwing world,letting this happen is all you are capable of. but hey ho, some people dont take shit off piss takers. "

Out of curiosity what would the "bit of a lesson" be?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"FWIW, I don't think it's ok to say 'shove three fingers up him' or 'do him with a 12 inch dildo'. I know that these things are being said in jest - but they're still sexual assault if someone actually tried it on to 'teach someone a lesson'. I don't think it's ok to joke about that being the response, when we're talking about something as serious as this.

what is your problem with people retaliating?

you seem to live in a bubble of fear where if someone takes advantage you just roll over like a puppy. maybe thats just a sexual kick of yours.

we wont let anyone take the piss out of us.try and fuck nikki up her arse after being told NO numerous times is time for a bit of a lesson. maybe in your leftwing world,letting this happen is all you are capable of. but hey ho, some people dont take shit off piss takers. "

How is thinking retaliating with violence is bad "a left wing" thing? You come across SO aggressive. Have you been hammering the 'roids?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We've had the same. Easily resolved without threats though. "

Same.

Those without brains have to use their fists.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly. My wife and I have had guys who haven't listened to our limits. We just end play. Say why. Get up and leave the room.

No threats of violence required. I'm very well versed in a variety of martial arts. I see no need to demonstrate that or mention it if we meet an asshole. That's what club staff are for.

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By *razedcatMan
over a year ago

London / Herts

Other types of "bad guy" aside, it's guys who won't take no for an answer who give all single men on the scene a bad name.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"FWIW, I don't think it's ok to say 'shove three fingers up him' or 'do him with a 12 inch dildo'. I know that these things are being said in jest - but they're still sexual assault if someone actually tried it on to 'teach someone a lesson'. I don't think it's ok to joke about that being the response, when we're talking about something as serious as this.

what is your problem with people retaliating?

you seem to live in a bubble of fear where if someone takes advantage you just roll over like a puppy. maybe thats just a sexual kick of yours.

we wont let anyone take the piss out of us.try and fuck nikki up her arse after being told NO numerous times is time for a bit of a lesson. maybe in your leftwing world,letting this happen is all you are capable of. but hey ho, some people dont take shit off piss takers.

I retaliate by saying 'no' and then throwing them out or leaving. I don't believe the answer to sexual violence is more sexual violence.

I wouldn't even get to the stage where I had to say no to somebody numerous times. That's the difference. They wouldn't need a lesson - they'd already be gone."

I take such comments as hyperbole and bluster. Unless I'm giving credit where none is due and some people actually believe violence is an appropriate way of saying no instead of simply saying erm...NO!

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By *umpleteazerWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

Nope, not an overreaction at all. As others have said, I'd have been out of there after the second time. Depending on how insistent he was and his attitude I may have reported to club staff as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Other types of "bad guy" aside, it's guys who won't take no for an answer who give all single men on the scene a bad name."

No, they don't give "all single men" a bad name. If a single woman or a couple behave poorly they don't tar everyone else with that same brush.

If you're not getting laid it's because of you, not because of some men you've never even had any contact with before.

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