FabSwingers.com forum: when to back off

By *ornyboy46 OP Man
over a year ago

heatons

When do you decide to give up. You have been chatting for a few weeks being patient and non pushy when all of a sudden she stops messaging you when you think your getting on great.

Did I overstep ? Should I message even though no replies? Or should I just move on ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Accept that sometimes life happens away from this, and maybe send a message in a couple of days time?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

Leave it a week since you last heard from her. Then send a polite message, saying "hope you're OK, we haven't chatted in a while". She might have decided that you're not for her, or she might just have other things going on in her life that is preventing her from devoting as much time to swinging (and you). If still no reply, just let it drop.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dunno. Are you sure she's even read your message?

Maybe act like you never sent the last message and try to just continue chatting as you were and see how that goes? Do it when she's online though so she sees it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe she got sick of ya taking so long to ask for a meet, or maybe it was a guy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If she's not replying then I'd give up

If I'm interested in someone then I don't ignore their messages

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just send a message along the lines of; Right you, stop being a prick tease, you know you want it and see what happens

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guaranteed to be a fella. Unless you spoke to her or saw her on cam. Happens all the time unfortunately....move on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Move on

I only send one message at a time, if we are talking and my last message don't get a reply that's it I don't keep messaging

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"When do you decide to give up. You have been chatting for a few weeks being patient and non pushy when all of a sudden she stops messaging you when you think your getting on great.

Did I overstep ? Should I message even though no replies? Or should I just move on ?"

How many messages have you sent with no respond? If more than one forget it and move on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Move on

I only send one message at a time, if we are talking and my last message don't get a reply that's it I don't keep messaging "

Same here. We always assume that no reply means they don't want further contact.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

Suppose it depends on how many messages she hasnt replied to and the time scale?

Things can and do crop up but if someone is really interested and they've been online and read your message(s) and not replied. In general I'd assume they were no longer interested.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"Move on

I only send one message at a time, if we are talking and my last message don't get a reply that's it I don't keep messaging

Same here. We always assume that no reply means they don't want further contact."

Yes and the same here. Plenty of other people to talk to.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Moveee on tines precious don't waste it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ornyboy46 OP Man
over a year ago

heatons

Well plenty of pics on her profile and chatting its pretty obvious its a woman. So I think you are all right time to move on. Thanks all

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Well plenty of pics on her profile and chatting its pretty obvious its a woman. So I think you are all right time to move on. Thanks all"

Better luck next time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well plenty of pics on her profile and chatting its pretty obvious its a woman. So I think you are all right time to move on. Thanks all"

Unless you chatted on the phone or on cam then I'd be a bit suss...is she verified by photo and other couples or females??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ornyboy46 OP Man
over a year ago

heatons

"Well plenty of pics on her profile and chatting its pretty obvious its a woman. So I think you are all right time to move on. Thanks all

Better luck next time

Thanks and if anyone does want to chat privately I would be more than happy especially if you are local to Manchester

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dislike game playing and trying to work out what someone means.... So if it were me I'd say something like... Hi there. All gone quiet so I'll leave it with you. If you fancy meeting drop me a message. If not, wish you well.

Then I wouldn't message again.

V x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When do you decide to give up. You have been chatting for a few weeks being patient and non pushy when all of a sudden she stops messaging you when you think your getting on great.

Did I overstep ? Should I message even though no replies? Or should I just move on ?"

I know the feeling just yesterday i was getting a long fine chatting mails etc with a couple and just one word out of place and wham.....blocked.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugh Jarse 69Man
over a year ago

Kings Lynn

"When do you decide to give up. You have been chatting for a few weeks being patient and non pushy when all of a sudden she stops messaging you when you think your getting on great.

Did I overstep ? Should I message even though no replies? Or should I just move on ?"

well i've just called my 'non-replier' a timewasting bitch. Lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe she got sick of ya taking so long to ask for a meet, or maybe it was a guy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Giggling over the huge arse user name.

I'm so childish.

V xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When do you decide to give up. You have been chatting for a few weeks being patient and non pushy when all of a sudden she stops messaging you when you think your getting on great.

Did I overstep ? Should I message even though no replies? Or should I just move on ?

well i've just called my 'non-replier' a timewasting bitch. Lol"

How has she actually wasted your time by not replying? I'd say she'd done the total opposite.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well plenty of pics on her profile and chatting its pretty obvious its a woman. So I think you are all right time to move on. Thanks all

Unless you chatted on the phone or on cam then I'd be a bit suss...is she verified by photo and other couples or females?? "

Your responses are always so subtle and full of empathy....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When do you decide to give up. You have been chatting for a few weeks being patient and non pushy when all of a sudden she stops messaging you when you think your getting on great.

Did I overstep ? Should I message even though no replies? Or should I just move on ?

I know the feeling just yesterday i was getting a long fine chatting mails etc with a couple and just one word out of place and wham.....blocked.

One word out of place is one word too much

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When do you decide to give up. You have been chatting for a few weeks being patient and non pushy when all of a sudden she stops messaging you when you think your getting on great.

Did I overstep ? Should I message even though no replies? Or should I just move on ?"
hey maybe she's been busy at work just keep messaging like nothing's happened

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When do you decide to give up. You have been chatting for a few weeks being patient and non pushy when all of a sudden she stops messaging you when you think your getting on great.

Did I overstep ? Should I message even though no replies? Or should I just move on ?

well i've just called my 'non-replier' a timewasting bitch. Lol"

Just for not replying ? Sounds out of proportion to me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nfamyMan
over a year ago

Goole

"Just send a message along the lines of; Right you, stop being a prick tease, you know you want it and see what happens

I tried this approach, The judge was not impressed

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *an SmithMan
over a year ago

Ipswich

"Just send a message along the lines of; Right you, stop being a prick tease, you know you want it and see what happens

Yep, that should do it!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Maybe she got sick of ya taking so long to ask for a meet"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just send a message along the lines of; Right you, stop being a prick tease, you know you want it and see what happens

I tried this approach, The judge was not impressed

You can usually work out if they don't want to meet after a couple of messages but am happy to continue chatting if they are, Sex would be great I don't mind being friends

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well plenty of pics on her profile and chatting its pretty obvious its a woman. So I think you are all right time to move on. Thanks all

Unless you chatted on the phone or on cam then I'd be a bit suss...is she verified by photo and other couples or females??

Your responses are always so subtle and full of empathy....

And yours full of

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When do you decide to give up. You have been chatting for a few weeks being patient and non pushy when all of a sudden she stops messaging you when you think your getting on great.

Did I overstep ? Should I message even though no replies? Or should I just move on ?

well i've just called my 'non-replier' a timewasting bitch. Lol"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *reykiwi500Man
over a year ago

West Kent (near Tonbridge)

"Dislike game playing and trying to work out what someone means.... So if it were me I'd say something like... Hi there. All gone quiet so I'll leave it with you. If you fancy meeting drop me a message. If not, wish you well.

Then I wouldn't message again.

V x "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When do you decide to give up. You have been chatting for a few weeks being patient and non pushy when all of a sudden she stops messaging you when you think your getting on great.

Did I overstep ? Should I message even though no replies? Or should I just move on ?

I know the feeling just yesterday i was getting a long fine chatting mails etc with a couple and just one word out of place and wham.....blocked.

One word out of place is one word too much"

That the hard thing about chatting on the online, Its so easy for people to misinterpret things you type, I have made that mistake a few times,

Reading it the wrong way and also typing a word or sentence and then wished I had rephrased it better

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugh Jarse 69Man
over a year ago

Kings Lynn

"When do you decide to give up. You have been chatting for a few weeks being patient and non pushy when all of a sudden she stops messaging you when you think your getting on great.

Did I overstep ? Should I message even though no replies? Or should I just move on ?

well i've just called my 'non-replier' a timewasting bitch. Lol

Just for not replying ? Sounds out of proportion to me. "

well when someone says they want to meet and u arrange something. Then they dont want to reply after that then i call timewasting

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I lost a fantastic fuck buddy by messaging her a bit too much, went round her house to see if she was ok, what a massive mistake, we got on well, arranged meet again, after a few messages she said don't message me or come round my house or I will call the police.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When do you decide to give up. You have been chatting for a few weeks being patient and non pushy when all of a sudden she stops messaging you when you think your getting on great.

Did I overstep ? Should I message even though no replies? Or should I just move on ?

I know the feeling just yesterday i was getting a long fine chatting mails etc with a couple and just one word out of place and wham.....blocked.

One word out of place is one word too much

That the hard thing about chatting on the online, Its so easy for people to misinterpret things you type, I have made that mistake a few times,

Reading it the wrong way and also typing a word or sentence and then wished I had rephrased it better"

That is true and sometimes I may be a bit harsh,I think that's mainly when I'm not 100% sure about someone and any little thing will tip me to the no thanks side of things

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm in a similar situation. Been chatting to a guy for ages. Seen pics etc, so I'm kinda thinking alls good. Been getting on really really well. Anyway,I sent a message asking how he was,(cos he's not been feeling too good). I've heard nothing back. He's been online and read my message. I'm beginning to wonder if I've been had somehow. When I've mentioned meeting he's been well up for it. When I asked if he had a gf or anything he said not for over a year! When I said let's chat on the phone. Oh, my phones broken touch screen doesn't work and I've been too ill to get it fixed!! What do you reckon? Timewaster?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ornyboy46 OP Man
over a year ago

heatons

Sounds like it to me. I think the motto life is to short to worry about might have beens and maybe i should stop being so polite and nice to people. Might get me somewhere lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds like it to me. I think the motto life is to short to worry about might have beens and maybe i should stop being so polite and nice to people. Might get me somewhere lol"

Me too!! No more miss nice!! Lol. One more message to him if no joy then he can jog on!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm in a similar situation. Been chatting to a guy for ages. Seen pics etc, so I'm kinda thinking alls good. Been getting on really really well. Anyway,I sent a message asking how he was,(cos he's not been feeling too good). I've heard nothing back. He's been online and read my message. I'm beginning to wonder if I've been had somehow. When I've mentioned meeting he's been well up for it. When I asked if he had a gf or anything he said not for over a year! When I said let's chat on the phone. Oh, my phones broken touch screen doesn't work and I've been too ill to get it fixed!! What do you reckon? Timewaster?

Yep unfortunately

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When do you decide to give up. You have been chatting for a few weeks being patient and non pushy when all of a sudden she stops messaging you when you think your getting on great.

Did I overstep ? Should I message even though no replies? Or should I just move on ?

well i've just called my 'non-replier' a timewasting bitch. Lol

Just for not replying ? Sounds out of proportion to me.

well when someone says they want to meet and u arrange something. Then they dont want to reply after that then i call timewasting "

I would say your time is only wasted if you'd made the effort to get ready, take time off work or get child care sorted etc, travelled to the venue only to be stood up with no explanation. Sending a few messages literally takes seconds, I don't see how its time wasting. It happens all the time on here, maybe something was said to put her off or she just wasn't up for meeting but felt she couldn't say why. No point stressing about it or resorting to petty name calling.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When do you decide to give up. You have been chatting for a few weeks being patient and non pushy when all of a sudden she stops messaging you when you think your getting on great.

Did I overstep ? Should I message even though no replies? Or should I just move on ?

well i've just called my 'non-replier' a timewasting bitch. Lol

Just for not replying ? Sounds out of proportion to me.

well when someone says they want to meet and u arrange something. Then they dont want to reply after that then i call timewasting "

Perhaps something came up in her life which was more important, maybe she just changed her mind, maybe she saw your status and decided against it !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

"Leave it a week since you last heard from her. Then send a polite message, saying "hope you're OK, we haven't chatted in a while". She might have decided that you're not for her, or she might just have other things going on in her life that is preventing her from devoting as much time to swinging (and you). If still no reply, just let it drop."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

Depends how many messages she gets on a regular basis .. us ladies do try to answer as many as possible.

..leave it a while .. then be cheeky and ask for a social meet ... just to break the ice .... some people get a bit nervois .

She may well reply this time x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ornyboy46 OP Man
over a year ago

heatons

"Depends how many messages she gets on a regular basis .. us ladies do try to answer as many as possible.

..leave it a while .. then be cheeky and ask for a social meet ... just to break the ice .... some people get a bit nervois .

She may well reply this time x"

A good idea I shall do that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When do you decide to give up. You have been chatting for a few weeks being patient and non pushy when all of a sudden she stops messaging you when you think your getting on great.

Did I overstep ? Should I message even though no replies? Or should I just move on ?"

Ah bless! You think you were the only guy she was messaging! She's probably chatting to about 15 other guys! If she's concentrating on one or 2 other conversations you'll soon "drop off" the message page.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When do you decide to give up. You have been chatting for a few weeks being patient and non pushy when all of a sudden she stops messaging you when you think your getting on great.

Did I overstep ? Should I message even though no replies? Or should I just move on ?"

I feel that the person who wants to stop the conversation should say so.

Sadly i don't think many do that. I always end a chat I am not interested in progressing quite clearly. I find the others have been very appreciative. People should not be left hanging.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When do you decide to give up. You have been chatting for a few weeks being patient and non pushy when all of a sudden she stops messaging you when you think your getting on great.

Did I overstep ? Should I message even though no replies? Or should I just move on ?

I feel that the person who wants to stop the conversation should say so.

Sadly i don't think many do that. I always end a chat I am not interested in progressing quite clearly. I find the others have been very appreciative. People should not be left hanging. "

this. Manners and respect cost nothing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ornyboy46 OP Man
over a year ago

heatons

I am aware that the women on here are rarely chatting to one person and even meeting more than one so its not a jealousy thing . If you dont want to chat just say so. I'm big enough to take rejection as I'm not a "hot guy" so don't expect many replies. Maybe I ask too much for a bit of courtesy to say thanks but no thanks lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am aware that the women on here are rarely chatting to one person and even meeting more than one so its not a jealousy thing . If you dont want to chat just say so. I'm big enough to take rejection as I'm not a "hot guy" so don't expect many replies. Maybe I ask too much for a bit of courtesy to say thanks but no thanks lol"

Sadly some aren't and resort to abuse as a way of handling rejection so many people often just end conversations they're no longer wanting to carry on in silence to avoid this possibility. If someone is genuinely interested, they will make the effort.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

one message is too many for some.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *MaleMan
over a year ago

Sometimes people just decide they aint for you or you aint for them. There's no rules at that point. Yes manners/respect mean some let you know the score but others dont. Either way it's an oh well moment, leave it there.

Unless you know otherwise there's also a big chance the person you we're talking to aint quite what the profile suggests. When those people get to a point they know they cannot live up to the talk so silently move onto their next piss take, wind up, keyboard wank

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't take this too seriously, I never assume I'm going to meet someone if we're chatting. Its a bonus if we end up meeting but I expect nothing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another thing to note is that some people prioritise who they talk to.

Like 2/3 hours ago about 10 people i chat to all messaged me at once, i haven't blocked any of them coz i do like chatting to them, but some i've been chatting to for a while and nothing came of it so i didn't bother replying to them straight away, i am prioritising the guys who i already regularly meet up with and the ones who are most likely to. The ones i feel are taking ages, well i do respect that somewhat obviously yeah and am slightly interested still, but i don't make things hard for myself on here by prioritising them over the people who are already giving me what i want.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ornyboy46 OP Man
over a year ago

heatons

I take your point and think its time to move on

thanks for your help all of you and happy messaging

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread