FabSwingers.com forum: Profile advice

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My profile is under going a refurb at the moment. And I need your opinions please. I'm a full time carer and have to have mum live with me, now the problem I have is that I can only meet at mine. I know it's not ideal and some might say even disrespectful which I totally understand. But if I want to meet I have no other choice other than planning meets well in advance, booking hotel. Booking a carer to come stay the night etc. which all has to be paid for which I don't mind but sometimes only to be let down. So most of the time I agree to meet at mine. Now although I have never detailed it on my profile what my situation is I always make potential meets aware of my situation. Most are ok about it. Some not and refuse to meet which I understand. But now had a couple of guys who have said that I should explain my home situation in my profile. They said that by me explaining after a few messages exchanged has wasted their time, because had they know my situation they would never had contacted me. Now do I put it on my profile or do I carry on doing it the way I always have done?

As I said I totally understand that it's off putting for guys knowing someone else is here.

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By *empsey and hotpieceMan
over a year ago

North west

I don't think you should have to go into such details on your profile. Anyone who accuses of you of wasting their time must have an over inflated opinion of their importance.

It doesn't matter what other people's opinions are of your situation, you have the right to some fun, so stuff them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi Kelly - cant reply private

Might I suggest that your profile just gives basic re home life ie something like;

" I only meet at my place, not ideal, but will explain if we chat"

then in your first message you make it clear ie;

" As I said in my profile I only meet at mine with carefullyy selected people, however I am a full time carer for elderly parent - I does not stop me from having fun, but accept its not to everyone ideal situation - if you can't handle that, then please pass me by - thanks"

Clear and up front

Happy Fabbing

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It's a difficult one and I can see both points of view. Maybe explain at the start of any exchange that looks as if it might result in a meet.

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By *rincesscaracoupleCouple
over a year ago

Saltburn

"My profile is under going a refurb at the moment. And I need your opinions please. I'm a full time carer and have to have mum live with me, now the problem I have is that I can only meet at mine. I know it's not ideal and some might say even disrespectful which I totally understand. But if I want to meet I have no other choice other than planning meets well in advance, booking hotel. Booking a carer to come stay the night etc. which all has to be paid for which I don't mind but sometimes only to be let down. So most of the time I agree to meet at mine. Now although I have never detailed it on my profile what my situation is I always make potential meets aware of my situation. Most are ok about it. Some not and refuse to meet which I understand. But now had a couple of guys who have said that I should explain my home situation in my profile. They said that by me explaining after a few messages exchanged has wasted their time, because had they know my situation they would never had contacted me. Now do I put it on my profile or do I carry on doing it the way I always have done?

As I said I totally understand that it's off putting for guys knowing someone else is here. "

I am pretty sure your dear mum is not present at your meets so what does it matter? I wouldn't put it on my profile.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi Kelly - cant reply private

Might I suggest that your profile just gives basic re home life ie something like;

" I only meet at my place, not ideal, but will explain if we chat"

then in your first message you make it clear ie;

Clear and up front

Happy Fabbing

I did have something similar to that on my profile

And after exchanging get a couple or so messages I always explain my home situation

But thanku

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By *aturelover2016Man
over a year ago

London

No explanations needed. If they are not understanding then move along! You can't call an exchange of messages time wasting! Your very lovely so would imagine that you will have your pick of decent understanding gents!!

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Personal stuff like that doesn't need to be on your profile

Keep it private until you are at the arranging a meet stage and actually need to tell someone your circumstances

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have been slated but some saying it's no different to meeting with a child in the house.

I suppose everyone is entitled to their on opinions. But I see fab as my form of escapism from the reality I have. It hard work caring for elderly and disabled at the best of times. But when it's one of your own it's hardest still.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No need for any explanations to anyone...its up to you who you choose to meet and where you do tbh...if there accusing you of wasting there time after a few messages then there not worth meeting or your time

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