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please do not read if you dont like poo things.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Now can you help me ..... if you do anal how do you make sure your bum is clean and ready and no poo ...?? is there easy ways of doing this .. I have in passed sit on jet in my bath room as know i can let water out after .. do not do alot but help me go to loo . Just say you was at club and was going too do this and not sure if you can with out making a mess is there things you can do... i have been looking on net still working this out. xx jo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

try an anal douche,you can buy them off the internet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sweets you really need to have had s crap before hand and cleared your bowels

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was sitting on the toilet earlier thinking

"Is this my second shit today or am I having de ja poo"

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By *ickens CiderMan
over a year ago

taunton

Maybe use the local filling station's jet wash on route to your meet? Soapy rinse... brush... highe pressure rinse and top it off with a hot rinse wax?

Nobody would have an issue then...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your lucky not had mine yet I'm the sort of person and don't laugh but I can't have a shit at work I need to be in the comfort of my own home nuts I know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

are you a squirrel?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sweets you really need to have had s crap before hand and cleared your bowels "
I cant go that easy , lol. and its Others bums . I know it can make people feel dirty ... this is why i ask .Like to keep things clean for cum x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"are you a squirrel?"

You found out jeez no secrets on here

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"are you a squirrel?"
?? I nibble yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sweets you really need to have had s crap before hand and cleared your bowels I cant go that easy , lol. and its Others bums . I know it can make people feel dirty ... this is why i ask .Like to keep things clean for cum x "

Other bums then ask them if they are ok to go if they are that thick say you had a shit today if they haven't steer clear but in all honesty if some does come out in my experience it's only been a tiny bit not some massive log

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a hazel nut in every bite...........squirrel turd

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"but in all honesty if some does come out in my experience it's only been a tiny bit not some massive log"

yeah,coz that would be gross

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just imagine it playing at a club anal sex on the dance floor and out comes a big log well it's better then dancing round your handbag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"a hazel nut in every bite...........squirrel turd"

Sweetcorns the worst just can't digest it properly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just imagine it playing at a club anal sex on the dance floor and out comes a big log well it's better then dancing round your handbag "

only if yr doing the twist

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just imagine it playing at a club anal sex on the dance floor and out comes a big log well it's better then dancing round your handbag "

Ive just sprayed my lap top with coffee thats the funniest thing ive read in a long time love it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just imagine it playing at a club anal sex on the dance floor and out comes a big log well it's better then dancing round your handbag "
well i have would like to make my friends first time nice x and not have this .. god no x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry game I've highjacked your post sweets but anything to do with poo brings the child out in me even now it's a taboo subject and it's something we do everyday PMSL poo myself laughing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just imagine it playing at a club anal sex on the dance floor and out comes a big log well it's better then dancing round your handbag well i have would like to make my friends first time nice x and not have this .. god no x "

8/10 it's never happebed to me but sometimes afterwards not during they will feel the need for the toilet so in all honesty make sure your near be

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sorry game I've highjacked your post sweets but anything to do with poo brings the child out in me even now it's a taboo subject and it's something we do everyday PMSL poo myself laughing"
no i like the way you make it not a big deal , lol Lets face it alot here chat about anal sex so must come across this ..... like me. I am looking for tips xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just imagine it playing at a club anal sex on the dance floor and out comes a big log well it's better then dancing round your handbag

Ive just sprayed my lap top with coffee thats the funniest thing ive read in a long time love it "

I'll kick it to you if you kick it back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry game I've highjacked your post sweets but anything to do with poo brings the child out in me even now it's a taboo subject and it's something we do everyday PMSL poo myself laughing no i like the way you make it not a big deal , lol Lets face it alot here chat about anal sex so must come across this ..... like me. I am looking for tips xx "

Make sure you use lots of lube and I mean lots someones 1st time can be painful ease in a bit of a time if they ask you to stop then stop some can't take it and won't enjoy it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sorry game I've highjacked your post sweets but anything to do with poo brings the child out in me even now it's a taboo subject and it's something we do everyday PMSL poo myself laughing no i like the way you make it not a big deal , lol Lets face it alot here chat about anal sex so must come across this ..... like me. I am looking for tips xx

Make sure you use lots of lube and I mean lots someones 1st time can be painful ease in a bit of a time if they ask you to stop then stop some can't take it and won't enjoy it"
well i am the Dom misstress i have to look after my subs , lol xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just imagine it playing at a club anal sex on the dance floor and out comes a big log well it's better then dancing round your handbag

Ive just sprayed my lap top with coffee thats the funniest thing ive read in a long time love it

I'll kick it to you if you kick it back"

eewwwwww have such a bad pic in head now pmsl i do so love reading your posts always make me giggle so much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm gonna put it in my handbag for safe keeping, it's mine I tell you mine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm gonna put it in my handbag for safe keeping, it's mine I tell you mine"

will you stop it i really am going to pmsl soon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bet your in an office full of people red faced I'm gonna torture you all day missy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Bet your in an office full of people red faced I'm gonna torture you all day missy "

ha ha nope im alone at home i work nights so ner ner torture away lol mind the cats are looking at me a bit funny !!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Bet your in an office full of people red faced I'm gonna torture you all day missy "
Thats what i do to them , lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I know someones at work sneakly looking at fab I wind them up good and proper

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I know someones at work sneakly looking at fab I wind them up good and proper "

Well I'm sitting at my desk peeking at fab

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would just say to you be cautious of having cum up ya bum, it tends to work funny things with my bum. first starts the botty burps, imagine...cum smells hours later after sex and your doing your shopping.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Especially if you fart the next day very wet farts you have to keep going to the toilet to check if you've followed through but it's just cum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I know someones at work sneakly looking at fab I wind them up good and proper

Well I'm sitting at my desk peeking at fab

"

Your mad for revealing that need to think of how I can wind you up

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By *ick-brown27Man
over a year ago

worsley


"I would just say to you be cautious of having cum up ya bum, it tends to work funny things with my bum. first starts the botty burps, imagine...cum smells hours later after sex and your doing your shopping."
sat in the bk of the car just burst out laughing reading that lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cum can be evil had it in my eye once and it's nearly blinded me it's poison i tell you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well cum acts like an enima with me up me bum. the slightest bit of pooh left up there....voila its soon shifted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same here if I'm constipated it's works a treat better then fybogel anyday

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry game I've highjacked your post sweets but anything to do with poo brings the child out in me even now it's a taboo subject and it's something we do everyday PMSL poo myself laughing no i like the way you make it not a big deal , lol Lets face it alot here chat about anal sex so must come across this ..... like me. I am looking for tips xx

Make sure you use lots of lube and I mean lots someones 1st time can be painful ease in a bit of a time if they ask you to stop then stop some can't take it and won't enjoy it well i am the Dom misstress i have to look after my subs , lol xxx "

I just went weak at the knees reading that... after perving your profile the other night I was already a bit hot and flustered over you... I think you just tipped me over the edge!

xxx

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By *eighleedsMan
over a year ago

leeds

If you are anticipating to have anal sex. you wnat to use an Anal Douche, before the meet, easily obtainable online, and places like Clone Zone shops also sell them,

they are not expensive, you fill them with warm, not hot water and follow the instructions, cab be wquite a pelasrauble experence

i do this befeore any M/M meet wheer i expect or know i am going to be getting some cock

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop it you lot lol!!! I'm supposed to be getting on with my work... and no, I am not surrounded by collegues so no need to pick on me with your wind ups Janelle lol!!! xx

This thread has to be in the top 10 of hilarious threads. And please guys, stop writing "don't read this if you...." it's like a red rag to a bull for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Was sitting on the toilet earlier thinking

"Is this my second shit today or am I having de ja poo" "

Hehe!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love anal and i have never had any problems with poo lol

If you dont need to go there should be no problem

Poo does not sit in your anal canal so there will be nothing there if you do not need to go

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If I know someones at work sneakly looking at fab I wind them up good and proper "
i do too untill there balls hurt , lolol and end up going to the loo xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sorry game I've highjacked your post sweets but anything to do with poo brings the child out in me even now it's a taboo subject and it's something we do everyday PMSL poo myself laughing no i like the way you make it not a big deal , lol Lets face it alot here chat about anal sex so must come across this ..... like me. I am looking for tips xx lol

Make sure you use lots of lube and I mean lots someones 1st time can be painful ease in a bit of a time if they ask you to stop then stop some can't take it and won't enjoy it well i am the Dom misstress i have to look after my subs , lol xxx

I just went weak at the knees reading that... after perving your profile the other night I was already a bit hot and flustered over you... I think you just tipped me over the edge!

xxx"
yes i am sure we could tip you over the edge x as long as you come back with big smile on your face x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Stop it you lot lol!!! I'm supposed to be getting on with my work... and no, I am not surrounded by collegues so no need to pick on me with your wind ups Janelle lol!!! xx

This thread has to be in the top 10 of hilarious threads. And please guys, stop writing "don't read this if you...." it's like a red rag to a bull for me "
its not a wind up . lol its real .. i had anal and there was some ,,, I sorted myself out but was thinking how can i get over this. As my bums very tight x and not done alot of this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Stop it you lot lol!!! I'm supposed to be getting on with my work... and no, I am not surrounded by collegues so no need to pick on me with your wind ups Janelle lol!!! xx

This thread has to be in the top 10 of hilarious threads. And please guys, stop writing "don't read this if you...." it's like a red rag to a bull for me its not a wind up . lol its real .. i had anal and there was some ,,, I sorted myself out but was thinking how can i get over this. As my bums very tight x and not done alot of this."

I know you started the discussion on a semi-serious note.... I just love the way everyone has approached the subject some witty and some with brilliant advice.

Poor you lol!!! Something I dreaded happening when I tried anal... I was that paranoid I made hubby stick a jonny on and then I wouldn't let him look at it when done incase there was poo on it lol!! You'll be fine if you take some of this advice chick xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

I know you started the discussion on a semi-serious note.... I just love the way everyone has approached the subject some witty and some with brilliant advice.

Poor you lol!!! Something I dreaded happening when I tried anal... I was that paranoid I made hubby stick a jonny on and then I wouldn't let him look at it when done incase there was poo on it lol!! You'll be fine if you take some of this advice chick xxx"
yes i feel this has been a good poo post xx not alot like to chat about this but i bet thay think of it when some have anal or going too xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Poo is the sickest but funnniest thing you can talk about I just love shit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

BEst and funniest theread on here for a long time... dont we all love our toilet humour...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i remember reading a magazine once and the subject was embarrasing stories about poo....one was a fella having anal with his partner for the first time and when he looked down there was a peice of sweetcorn on the end of his willy, the other, not about anal but a girl had a poo at her felas house and it wudnt flush so she wrapped it in toilet paper and put it in her handbag to take home!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"i remember reading a magazine once and the subject was embarrasing stories about poo....one was a fella having anal with his partner for the first time and when he looked down there was a peice of sweetcorn on the end of his willy, the other, not about anal but a girl had a poo at her felas house and it wudnt flush so she wrapped it in toilet paper and put it in her handbag to take home!!!!!"
never not in her handbag , lol just think after how the smell was in her bag ooo yuk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love a floater in the toilet I usually have to put a rubber glove on and push down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe use the local filling station's jet wash on route to your meet? Soapy rinse... brush... highe pressure rinse and top it off with a hot rinse wax?

Nobody would have an issue then... "

Thanks for that...cappuccino over my screen!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Imagine if you left your window slightly ajar it would be like having frothy shit coming through

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"try an anal douche,you can buy them off the internet"
yes i am going to look for them . I had mail from 3 people saying thats what thay do .. never seen one before so doing to look. xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont have a curry the night before and a power shower works wonders put it on jet setting lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

~!~ laxative ~!~

* CreEps rouNd GravEyaRd *

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dont have a curry the night before and a power shower works wonders put it on jet setting lol"
really i have one of them ,, xxxx WELL i have just been looking up anal douches ..... and found all sorts and have a gess YOUtube people are chating about best way to use them xx so you live a learn i have doing this post xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks for posting this thread Game.

Its answered all of my questions and more....its also made me realise that my concerns about anal (including insisting on hubby wearing a condom!) are far more common than I thought.

Off to look for anal douches......

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Thanks for posting this thread Game.

Its answered all of my questions and more....its also made me realise that my concerns about anal (including insisting on hubby wearing a condom!) are far more common than I thought.

Off to look for anal douches......"
your welcome xx ooo look at YOUtube xx Anal duches lovely gay man told me .. had to turn it down as cleaners around xx

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By *i guy nottsMan
over a year ago

mansfield/Lincoln


"I love a floater in the toilet I usually have to put a rubber glove on and push down "

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sweets you really need to have had s crap before hand and cleared your bowels I cant go that easy , lol. and its Others bums . I know it can make people feel dirty ... this is why i ask .Like to keep things clean for cum x "

Go onto lovehoney and buy their red douch .

Use prior to meet allowing half an hour or so till clean

simples

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sweets you really need to have had s crap before hand and cleared your bowels I cant go that easy , lol. and its Others bums . I know it can make people feel dirty ... this is why i ask .Like to keep things clean for cum x

Go onto lovehoney and buy their red douch .

Use prior to meet allowing half an hour or so till clean

simples "
yes getting one xxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

whenever i partake in anyform of anal play i always use a douche, a tip is dont make the water to warm! it is surprising how sensative you will be to heat!

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"Now can you help me ..... if you do anal how do you make sure your bum is clean and ready and no poo ...?? is there easy ways of doing this .. I have in passed sit on jet in my bath room as know i can let water out after .. do not do alot but help me go to loo . Just say you was at club and was going too do this and not sure if you can with out making a mess is there things you can do... i have been looking on net still working this out. xx jo"

i wanted to be sure i was clean if my Master wanted to use me this way so i bought a simple enema kit of ebay.

It is very easy to use and removes all worry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry game I've highjacked your post sweets but anything to do with poo brings the child out in me even now it's a taboo subject and it's something we do everyday PMSL poo myself laughing no i like the way you make it not a big deal , lol Lets face it alot here chat about anal sex so must come across this ..... like me. I am looking for tips xx lol

Make sure you use lots of lube and I mean lots someones 1st time can be painful ease in a bit of a time if they ask you to stop then stop some can't take it and won't enjoy it well i am the Dom misstress i have to look after my subs , lol xxx

I just went weak at the knees reading that... after perving your profile the other night I was already a bit hot and flustered over you... I think you just tipped me over the edge!

xxxyes i am sure we could tip you over the edge x as long as you come back with big smile on your face x "

Mmmmm, yes please!!! I think a trip to Norfolk would be in order... *grabs car keys* x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Still have not done alot of anal , Its just hard asking men for this at times i find . I am sure some must be better then others too i need care to be taken . lol x john hates this so never wish to do it x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Have the douche, lol ready xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So long as you have been to the poo beforehand it is not a prob. I have only ever once had it where i got a shitty cock..i suppose my own fault...the writing was on the wall when i was fucking her, had my thumb in her arse and when i pulled it out had shit on it. Good job i had a condom on...it was a bit of a passion killer though.

Took me fucking ages to get the smell of shit off my thumb. Washed it in her bathroom but was adamant i could smell shit on it even two or three days later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Have the douche, lol ready xxx"

Just say the word!!! xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So long as you have been to the poo beforehand it is not a prob. I have only ever once had it where i got a shitty cock..i suppose my own fault...the writing was on the wall when i was fucking her, had my thumb in her arse and when i pulled it out had shit on it. Good job i had a condom on...it was a bit of a passion killer though.

Took me fucking ages to get the smell of shit off my thumb. Washed it in her bathroom but was adamant i could smell shit on it even two or three days later"
lolol see why i said dont read if not liking poo ..... thay could be having there tea , lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my tip for douching is take the head off yer shower, put the hose up yer bum and then let it all come out. then use your big toe to push the shit down the plug hole....simples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

or if your really bunged up, may I suggest you get a Karcher power hose. that will shift it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"my tip for douching is take the head off yer shower, put the hose up yer bum and then let it all come out. then use your big toe to push the shit down the plug hole....simples"

Top tip ! or should that be Plop tip !

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"my tip for douching is take the head off yer shower, put the hose up yer bum and then let it all come out. then use your big toe to push the shit down the plug hole....simples"
i am doing it over the loo its next to my shower , lol xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

last night in bed i was thinking about this . I need a beeday .. can now see why i go on holidays over seas thay all have them .. must all be into anal , lol xx

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By *icboyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow


"last night in bed i was thinking about this . I need a beeday .. can now see why i go on holidays over seas thay all have them .. must all be into anal , lol xx "

Sound like you may need help with that. Not what you need to be thinking about going to bed. Beedays are good, but help you would be better.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"last night in bed i was thinking about this . I need a beeday .. can now see why i go on holidays over seas thay all have them .. must all be into anal , lol xx

Sound like you may need help with that. Not what you need to be thinking about going to bed. Beedays are good, but help you would be better. "
you could always help x lol I just have a thing about being clean .,.. in all places .. only thing is drity is my mind at times , lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

wee story - an ex gf many years ago still in touch with now n then chit chatting anyways - she is L to protect the innocent - well she was with a new boyfriend

and her being naughty and he being eager he was after that ass

always talking he was gonna pump her ass etc and she always played the no no no game

then after him going on n on n on about it - she gave in one fateful night

and said oks lets go for it

and in he went to the naughty spot of dark pleasures

pumping away - loving every minute of the anal taboo

but L had a wee touch of not flu but cold

and all that eager pump pump pump omg im in a bum feverish pumping from the cock - resulted in of course some air building up

its soon went ppppppprrrrrrrrrrrrp

and with the cold type flu conditions resulted in a poo squirt right down his thigh!!!!!

i remember laughing so much as she told me he basically ejected out the bed landed on the floor in a heap - trying to get away form his own leg almost being sick and gagging - going

oh my god oh my god oh my god thats fuckin disgustin! get it off get it off get it off

bashed his head on the radiator - bounced on his bum round the room still with his leg stuck out away from him and vanished to the bathroom in yells of fuck sake oh my god ogh agh and other noises

moral of the story never be too eager too soon

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Cheekykarma ....................... moral of the story never be too eager too soon .... Did that put him off for life ? god i have a pic of that in my head here now , jo x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol well L being naughtier had the attitude of man up - wipe it off - and get back in there!

but i think he was shocked as it was his first anal taboo - so not sure how keen he was after that shock event

never see that in the porn world

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

lol well L being naughtier had the attitude of man up - wipe it off - and get back in there!

but i think he was shocked as it was his first anal taboo - so not sure how keen he was after that shock event

never see that in the porn world "
True and i bet some kinky person into all that would just love it in a porn too , lol But the moral to your story is a very good one take it slow and me as tight as tight down there i have too the pain is to much at times and i give up , lol But i am still working hard at over coming this ... not sure if the more you do easy it becomes john never liking it he did have a go one time said i hurt him to tight and i think that put him off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

wee story - an ex gf many years ago still in touch with now n then chit chatting anyways - she is L to protect the innocent - well she was with a new boyfriend

and her being naughty and he being eager he was after that ass

always talking he was gonna pump her ass etc and she always played the no no no game

then after him going on n on n on about it - she gave in one fateful night

and said oks lets go for it

and in he went to the naughty spot of dark pleasures

pumping away - loving every minute of the anal taboo

but L had a wee touch of not flu but cold

and all that eager pump pump pump omg im in a bum feverish pumping from the cock - resulted in of course some air building up

its soon went ppppppprrrrrrrrrrrrp

and with the cold type flu conditions resulted in a poo squirt right down his thigh!!!!!

i remember laughing so much as she told me he basically ejected out the bed landed on the floor in a heap - trying to get away form his own leg almost being sick and gagging - going

oh my god oh my god oh my god thats fuckin disgustin! get it off get it off get it off

bashed his head on the radiator - bounced on his bum round the room still with his leg stuck out away from him and vanished to the bathroom in yells of fuck sake oh my god ogh agh and other noises

moral of the story never be too eager too soon "

realy pmsl!!! this has got to be the funniest thing i have ever read on fab from a dedicated lurker Hx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ouch nothings worth chasing really if its a bit ouch

ive had me fun times in the past and the taboo is all yeah so what for me now

being amid a lot of guys though tis quite funny to see the ones who often refer toooo ooooo she would take it up the arse etc etc etc

almost obsessed - always makes me think - hmmmm are you the next one to get shitty thigh one day

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By *sian_coupleukCouple
over a year ago

manchester

I usually make sure i had a pooh and wash myself clean, even insert fingers and wash inside out (not ust outside).

and everytime i had anal - no pooh on cock and no mess at all. however if i havent done this then i wud NOT allow anal just in case an accident happens and puts me and my man off...

So a good system clear out and wash is ideal and fingers do the job well

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