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Swinging when not getting along?

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By *ntnCleo OP   Couple
over a year ago

Dortmund (Germany) might travel!

(Ant here)

As we're relative newbs we have lots of uncertainty about the scene and are feeling our way. So far...so good!

But one thing I find is that our appetite for this fluctuates a lot. Well, to be fair, mine doesn't. Maybe that's a male thing and a different approach to it all, but almost during any given second I'm up for sharing Cleo with a hot guy!

However, like all couples with busy lives we have highs and lows. We argue, sulk, get along and get loved up. Then do it all again.

When we aren't getting along, I can't mention this to Cleo. She doesn't want to see other guys. She doesn't want to think about meeting. She doesn't want me to mention previous meets. So I quietly plod along on the forums waiting for her mood to change.

We get over whatever it is, start getting along better, and this starts to creep back in. It's actually when we are at our most loved-up closest that sex and swinging just overtakes every waking moment and thought. When we are loved up and feeling secure, this is something we definitely want to share.

First - I think it says a lot about the scene. It's only the most secure couples that do this, and the more they do it (generalizing!) the more secure they probably are...I think anyway.

Which means we don't do it because something is missing or we need anything else, it's because we are so untouchable as a couple that nothing could shake us. So why not share her with another man and see her spasm on his cock sunk in her to the hilt? Horny, generous, fun.

It's the same for Cleo. At her most secure with me she wants to watch me fuck other women - although as she fluctuates a lot more it's a more tenuous prospect, so we've steered clear of that to date!but the feeling and desire is there in her though.

I'm not sure all the single guys get this; that when they get to fuck my gorgeous wife, she's not after something else, she's not unfulfilled, it's not because I'm not enough for her, she's actually so loved up that she can let herself enjoy some carnal pleasures and have intimate sexy experiences with me.

But that's deviating from the point. I was more wondering if other couples have similar experiences - that when they aren't getting along, this activity drops off, and then what that means about swinging as an act.

Just curious. Cleo may give her opinion on this later as we haven't really discussed it like this, just experienced it.

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

Interesting, OP, that you two as a couple may discuss it on here. It would be something we would discuss between ourselves if it was happening. We find that if and when we swing doesn't parallel how we are getting on. We mainly do get on and can and both us have very high sexual appetites ... if there is something that is getting one of us down, the other is sensitive to that and gives them time. Most often its external pressures like work, money or family issues and its not between or about is. We have both found our relationship to be somewhat unique as we are so much in sync its never become an issue. When one of us isn't in sync, usually the other isn't either ... but if one wants some fun and the other doesn't, no problem for us as we both have single profiles for that too

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I agree that successful swinging needs a strong relationship, that every relationship has its ups and downs and that during the downs you're better off concentrating on yourselves.

Discussing our relationship publicly isn't something I would want to do but if it works for you two and you're both comfortable with it that's great. For me I prefer to keep that for ourselves only, swinging is a pleasant diversion only.

Enjoy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep, we fluctuate. Not so much about not getting on, as we usually get on great, but more to do with what outside pressures are affecting our vanilla lives. If we're stressed or busy, then swinging isn't even an option. When life is easy going, then we delve back into it.

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By *ntnCleo OP   Couple
over a year ago

Dortmund (Germany) might travel!

Oops. After I wrote this I thought I might have given the wrong impression. It's not actually a problem, it's just an observation. So not something we need to discuss and haven't, just something I've noticed about the natural rhythm of us. Was wondering if others had that too.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Oops. After I wrote this I thought I might have given the wrong impression. It's not actually a problem, it's just an observation. So not something we need to discuss and haven't, just something I've noticed about the natural rhythm of us. Was wondering if others had that too. "

Nope, came across as an observation to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex is the best correlator with relationship success so I think the logic works.

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By *elovetofuck2Couple
over a year ago

cannock

Well we have had couple of meets, completely new to it, and yes we have had our ups and downs about it, we didn't discuss it at first and found Mr wouldn't discuss it afterwards, he loves it in the moment but then it creeps in afterwards.. but after few swaps now we have started to enjoy it more n more, and we now discuss it with each other, what we don't and do like...I had one moment where we did a separate full swap in different rooms and it wasn't for me I had a melt down afterwards for a moment and I now know that isn't for me as part of the turn on is watching each other and girl on girl but it was fine for Mr, it's all about trying and discussing what you both like and don't and then you get more comfortable with meeting and enjoying. We have had a unsure bumpy ride to begin with now we love it, your best way forward is to talk talk talk, Mr was the same in not discussing it and it became a issue when we had arguments, so don't leave it undiscussed because that's when it becomes a issue, we have learnt now and love it

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By *mokes n MirrorsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth and Newcastle (sometimes)


"Interesting, OP, that you two as a couple may discuss it on here. It would be something we would discuss between ourselves if it was happening. We find that if and when we swing doesn't parallel how we are getting on. We mainly do get on and can and both us have very high sexual appetites ... if there is something that is getting one of us down, the other is sensitive to that and gives them time. Most often its external pressures like work, money or family issues and its not between or about is. We have both found our relationship to be somewhat unique as we are so much in sync its never become an issue. When one of us isn't in sync, usually the other isn't either ... but if one wants some fun and the other doesn't, no problem for us as we both have single profiles for that too"

This is us except we don't have single profiles because hers would take all our free time to read all the messages and I'm a realist

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP I love the way you describe swinging for you, this is exactly how my husband and I feel! (We have been on here on our couple profile for over 2 years)

We do have times when we hide our profile and just take a step back , not because we aren't getting on as such but it's just not top of our list of prioritys at that moment x

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By *atnat85Woman
over a year ago

northwest

I think its quite normal, our attitude fluctuates. I'm currently on a down about it and husband is on an up. We play separately. He is having some fun in Saturday, which I wouldn't stop, I'm just more annoyed as I have to go a family party while he's having fun! But then at other times I'm more keen than him.

Outside life does have an impact, I've a couple of things to battle that dampens my sex drive, I'll just have to make up for lost time when I've got my mojo back!

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London


"Interesting, OP, that you two as a couple may discuss it on here. It would be something we would discuss between ourselves if it was happening. We find that if and when we swing doesn't parallel how we are getting on. We mainly do get on and can and both us have very high sexual appetites ... if there is something that is getting one of us down, the other is sensitive to that and gives them time. Most often its external pressures like work, money or family issues and its not between or about is. We have both found our relationship to be somewhat unique as we are so much in sync its never become an issue. When one of us isn't in sync, usually the other isn't either ... but if one wants some fun and the other doesn't, no problem for us as we both have single profiles for that too

This is us except we don't have single profiles because hers would take all our free time to read all the messages and I'm a realist "

We keep our single profiles separate though. Mine doesn't take too much time as I don't go on it too often and have men and couples filters on ... hubby spends lots of time chatting on his, but the one thing we do notice is the difference in attitude to single men versus couples (even when his states he is in a couple). I can't honestly say we diverge too much from either wanting to swing or not, we are pretty much on the same page in terms of wanting to play or not ... maybe because we want to spend time together and do most everything else together too?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I can't imagine what it's like for ones wife to enjoy sex with someone else but I know that when I'm involved they are always hugely enthusiastic - especially after I've gone!

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