FabSwingers.com forum: Question for the Single guys

By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

I am interested to find your opinions on messaging after a meet. I don't mean sending random messages on Fab.

In my mind I assume that if a guy has enjoyed a meet he will message again. And if he doesn't message then he has no interest in meeting again.

Therefore I do not message men first after a meet. My logic being that if he's not interested (as demonstrated by not messaging me) then the last thing he wants is messages from me.

However, I am told that I've got it all wrong. I am told this by women so I don't think that's the right sex to be advising me on this.

I would like to know what the single men think. I don't meet women or couples so that's why only single men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, I havn't met anybody on here as yet but I would say you have got it wrong. If I met you for instance and then didn't hear from you afterwards then I would think you weren't interested so I'd leave you be. Works both ways I suppose, I'd like to think things like another meet or continued contact would be sorted face to face during the meet anyway.

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I'd like to think things like another meet or continued contact would be sorted face to face during the meet anyway.

You're right, but this often happens as guys say they want to meet again even if they don't. Saying no to a woman seems to petrify a lot of men for some reason

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say message them once, then if no reply you know the answer. Either on here or if you text him. Your not being pushy or a 'tart' for that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually wait for the woman to message back, i'm in same boat as OP if they dont message then meet went badly or dont want to meet again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd like to think things like another meet or continued contact would be sorted face to face during the meet anyway.

You're right, but this often happens as guys say they want to meet again even if they don't. Saying no to a woman seems to petrify a lot of men for some reason

"
i agree.. Different on here or by text though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you like him enough then message him, some of us aint as brass necked as the next and require prompting from time to time. If he ignores etc . Take it on the chin . Move on and think of it as a learning curve if nothing else

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

I mean by texting as if I've met someone we've exchanged numbers.

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I usually wait for the woman to message back, i'm in same boat as OP if they dont message then meet went badly or dont want to meet again. "

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"If you like him enough then message him, some of us aint as brass necked as the next and require prompting from time to time. If he ignores etc . Take it on the chin . Move on and think of it as a learning curve if nothing else

I never worry if he doesn't want to meet again, there's always another guy or two asking.

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"Well, I havn't met anybody on here as yet but I would say you have got it wrong. If I met you for instance and then didn't hear from you afterwards then I would think you weren't interested so I'd leave you be. Works both ways I suppose, I'd like to think things like another meet or continued contact would be sorted face to face during the meet anyway.

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

But I'm scared of being seen as someone who hassles and I'm totally not like that.

I tried it once and it backfired.

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By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

I would just message him and ask him if he was interested in meeting again. What have you got to lose?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your not losing anything by contacting them.. Without pestering them that is. they can only say no or not reply.. Simples!

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I would just message him and ask him if he was interested in meeting again. What have you got to lose?"

But wouldn't he do that if he were interested?

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Your not losing anything by contacting them.. "

True

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I'm scared of being seen as someone who hassles and I'm totally not like that.

I tried it once and it backfired."
no your not hassling if you text once.. If you don,t get a reply then forget it.. As for that backfire it,s only one guy being a knob!

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

I text or message usually the day after. If I've had a good time obviously it would be good to see them again.

I think that generally women like a man to take the lead but if they don't message you you could always take the initiative, it is the 21st century.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I'm scared of being seen as someone who hassles and I'm totally not like that.

I tried it once and it backfired."

Would you prefer to be sat in 20 yrs time wondering what if ?

I dont like what ifs myself . If i get knocked back i just move on .

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By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

"I would just message him and ask him if he was interested in meeting again. What have you got to lose?

But wouldn't he do that if he were interested?"

But he could be sat at home thinking the same about you! Both just waiting for the other to message first. Just take a punt and message him.

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Would you prefer to be sat in 20 yrs time wondering what if ? "

I forget about them within a week.

It's different for women on here, we can just shout "Next"

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By *arnayguyMan
over a year ago

Durham Tees

I am interested in meeting you again for another session of fabulous sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would just message him and ask him if he was interested in meeting again. What have you got to lose?

But wouldn't he do that if he were interested?"
possibly.. But you make sure.. He may be thinking.. If she doesn't contact me she's not interested.. gowan gowan gowan.. Text him. Nothing grovely. Just casual text.

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By *ornyharry39Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

If you want it again ask he might be waiting on you lol if you dony ask you dont get time waits forno man

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"But he could be sat at home thinking the same about you! Both just waiting for the other to message first. "

You're right, I just have this old fashioned idea that men are all big and strong and will go after something if they want it.

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I am interested in meeting you again for another session of fabulous sex."

Ooooo I look forward to it

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

I'm not nervous or worried about sending a message.

I just thought I'd not have to if he was interested in a second meet.

These answers are really useful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am interested to find your opinions on messaging after a meet. I don't mean sending random messages on Fab.

In my mind I assume that if a guy has enjoyed a meet he will message again. And if he doesn't message then he has no interest in meeting again.

Therefore I do not message men first after a meet. My logic being that if he's not interested (as demonstrated by not messaging me) then the last thing he wants is messages from me.

However, I am told that I've got it all wrong. I am told this by women so I don't think that's the right sex to be advising me on this.

I would like to know what the single men think. I don't meet women or couples so that's why only single men

I would prefer a message to say really enjoyed it and would love to meet again sometime . Then it's left open x

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I would prefer a message to say really enjoyed it and would love to meet again sometime . Then it's left open x"

And you wouldn't send that yourself if you'd enjoyed it?

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By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

"But he could be sat at home thinking the same about you! Both just waiting for the other to message first.

You're right, I just have this old fashioned idea that men are all big and strong and will go after something if they want it."

That's far from true. Men and women are very similar in a lot of ways. Him not messaging could mean many things. He's just as likely to be thinking "she'll never be wanting to meet me again, so I won't bother contacting her", even though he may really want to. That's why you just have to message if you're interested. Men can be funny buggers sometimes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But he could be sat at home thinking the same about you! Both just waiting for the other to message first.

You're right, I just have this old fashioned idea that men are all big and strong and will go after something if they want it."
pmsl.. Ha ha.. No they dont. Been in plenty changing rooms at gym pep talking men. Some are hopeless

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Men can be funny buggers sometimes."

This I am learning

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"No they dont. Been in plenty changing rooms at gym pep talking men. Some are hopeless "

Guess so

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By *ryme_gyMan
over a year ago

Grimsby

I'd flip your argument on its head. As a guy if I didn't hear back from a lady after a meet I'd assume they were no longer interested as, let's face it, you have your pick on here.

It's always a bit tricky on the whole message don't message front so I tend to just ask at the end of a meet "would you like to meet again?". Fortunately I've not had a no yet but maybe you fabbers are just super polite! lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But he could be sat at home thinking the same about you! Both just waiting for the other to message first.

You're right, I just have this old fashioned idea that men are all big and strong and will go after something if they want it."
men put or are put under a lot of pressure to measure up to this image.. Causes some real trouble for them

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

I would hope to send or receive messages from people I have met. Even if we weren't going to meet again I'd hope that we could be civil.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't overthink it OP, each man and woman, regardless of the meet and the fun, will have different thinking on their messaging after meets. I would happily contact a previous meet to say thanks for a good evening and if I wanted to I'd suggest a further meet. I've been contacted by ladies and couples too after meeting, there's no reason why they shouldn't, unless they're shy / lack confidence.

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"OP

I'd flip your argument on its head. As a guy if I didn't hear back from a lady after a meet I'd assume they were no longer interested as, let's face it, you have your pick on here.

Good point

They often say we'll do this agin but then I don't hear from them so I assume they were fibbing.

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By *uperock99Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

If I think we got on , I will message her to see how she is and chat if no reply, well I know the answer

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I wouldn't overthink it OP"

That's sort of my point, I didn't think I was overthinking it. I thought I had a logical way of knowing whether I'd meet someone again.

And If I don't I don't fret over it.

Turns out my logic is flawed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes Hun lot of guys will be waiting on u to message them as the saying is ladies first

but yes it's nice to here that the female enjoyed it and is interested for another meet by messaging after a meet all the best xxx

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"If I think we got on , I will message her to see how she is and chat if no reply, well I know the answer

Yes that's what I assumed would happen, I mean the man messages after the meet.

Seems not all do.

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Yes Hun lot of guys will be waiting on u to message them as the saying is ladies first

but yes it's nice to here that the female enjoyed it and is interested for another meet by messaging after a meet all the best xxx"

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very welcome dear xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I liked the meet and I am interested to meet again, how does your schedule look like?

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

What I've completely forgotten to say is that after a first meet, which for me is social, I say to them that they won't hear from me so if they want to meet again they'll need to message.

I've been told I shouldn't say that. I thought I was making it easy for the guys.

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I liked the meet and I am interested to meet again, how does your schedule look like?

I'll see you in April

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By *MaleMan
over a year ago

"I am interested to find your opinions on messaging after a meet. I don't mean sending random messages on Fab.

In my mind I assume that if a guy has enjoyed a meet he will message again. And if he doesn't message then he has no interest in meeting again.

Therefore I do not message men first after a meet. My logic being that if he's not interested (as demonstrated by not messaging me) then the last thing he wants is messages from me.

However, I am told that I've got it all wrong. I am told this by women so I don't think that's the right sex to be advising me on this.

I would like to know what the single men think. I don't meet women or couples so that's why only single men

Post meet contact can be hit or miss.

You get people that say this, that & the other during a meet (appreciate it can be on the moment when horny) about meeting asap again. On contating them, they read the message nothing in reply. I just leave it there for obvious reasons when that occurs.

Equally you can get some people who messaging you several times within minutes of leaving and make themselves look s bit over keen and make me hmmmm :-$

In general all I do is wait until the evening or morning after and contact with a cheeky thanks etc. If from there banter and rearranging occurs sooner or later then cool, hehehe.

After all this is harmless no strings fun for all involved

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would prefer a message to say really enjoyed it and would love to meet again sometime . Then it's left open x

And you wouldn't send that yourself if you'd enjoyed it?"

Of course but someone has to send it so if after a day you have not got anything , I would send it .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I liked the meet and I am interested to meet again, how does your schedule look like?

I'll see you in April

"
Yes, that is fine with me

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Equally you can get some people who messaging you several times within minutes of leaving and make themselves look s bit over keen and make me hmmmm :-$

After all this is harmless no strings fun for all involved

I'm not like that so that's ok then

It is, which is why I just leave it if I don't hear.

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I liked the meet and I am interested to meet again, how does your schedule look like?

I'll see you in April

Yes, that is fine with me

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By *uperock99Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

"If I think we got on , I will message her to see how she is and chat if no reply, well I know the answer

Yes that's what I assumed would happen, I mean the man messages after the meet.

Seems not all do."
Why wouldn't a man message a woman back if he thinks they got on well and had a great time ? Unless he is hiding something

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By *umpleteazerWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

"What I've completely forgotten to say is that after a first meet, which for me is social, I say to them that they won't hear from me so if they want to meet again they'll need to message.

I've been told I shouldn't say that. I thought I was making it easy for the guys."

If a bloke said that to me I'd take it as a brush off

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"What I've completely forgotten to say is that after a first meet, which for me is social, I say to them that they won't hear from me so if they want to meet again they'll need to message.

I've been told I shouldn't say that. I thought I was making it easy for the guys.

If a bloke said that to me I'd take it as a brush off

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Why wouldn't a man message a woman back if he thinks they got on well and had a great time ? Unless he is hiding something"

That's what I thought.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been in the same situation, I message after a meet, sometimes I get a message back, sometimes not. I think some people don't want to maintain contact after a meet, notches on the bedpost type of thing. I see nothing wrong with sending a message, but if they don't reply, drop it, just like sending a first contact message.

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I've been in the same situation, I message after a meet, sometimes I get a message back, sometimes not. I think some people don't want to maintain contact after a meet, notches on the bedpost type of thing. I see nothing wrong with sending a message, but if they don't reply, drop it, just like sending a first contact message."

Hello you

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By *ullbackbuttMan
over a year ago

Purton

"I mean by texting as if I've met someone we've exchanged numbers."

If you enjoyed the meet just a quick text to say that would be fine.

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I mean by texting as if I've met someone we've exchanged numbers.

If you enjoyed the meet just a quick text to say that would be fine."

That's not bunny boiler territory then

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By *irty Girty From No 30Woman
over a year ago

Burbage

Exactly this, assuming not interested isnt just for women, men can make same assumption too

If you like and had good time message

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"If you like and had good time message

I will now

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By *arnayguyMan
over a year ago

Durham Tees

"I am interested in meeting you again for another session of fabulous sex.

Ooooo I look forward to it

Oh I do apologise, I just realised my watch is a week fast. We had better get a move on and organise our first session

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By *hocko87Man
over a year ago

dublin

If a meet went good u would know it n u know if he wanted to meet again . IDE always let a lady know that IDE want to meet again . I would not mind r care if a lady txts me were all here to enjoy ourselfs n if he does not respond his loss I'm afraid. . Wish u d best ok

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I am interested in meeting you again for another session of fabulous sex.

Ooooo I look forward to it

Oh I do apologise, I just realised my watch is a week fast. We had better get a move on and organise our first session

This is true

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"If a meet went good u would know it n u know if he wanted to meet again . IDE always let a lady know that IDE want to meet again "

That's what I thought but seems not all guys think like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say if you have both enjoyed your time together then surely you would discuss this towards the end of the meet and mention to each other about meeting up again sometime soon?

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I would say if you have both enjoyed your time together then surely you would discuss this towards the end of the meet and mention to each other about meeting up again sometime soon? "

Again, I don't like to be so presumptuous to bring this up. And if he does I think he may be saying it just because it's the right thing to say at the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would say if you have both enjoyed your time together then surely you would discuss this towards the end of the meet and mention to each other about meeting up again sometime soon?

Again, I don't like to be so presumptuous to bring this up. And if he does I think he may be saying it just because it's the right thing to say at the time."

Post coital promises mean nothing. I enjoy every meet but I am looking for a partner and so I don't meet twice unless they are potential partners for me. Men like one off meets but if there is someone I really like I would keep in touch by instigating the messaging. As a lady you don't need to message they will chase you if they want more. IMHO. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would say if you have both enjoyed your time together then surely you would discuss this towards the end of the meet and mention to each other about meeting up again sometime soon?

Again, I don't like to be so presumptuous to bring this up. And if he does I think he may be saying it just because it's the right thing to say at the time."

I've generally found that after a social the men seem to leave it in my court as to whether I want to meet again.

Therefore, I'm usually pretty quick in messaging back to say yes I enjoyed myself & would like to meet again.

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By *irty Girty From No 30Woman
over a year ago

Burbage

"What I've completely forgotten to say is that after a first meet, which for me is social, I say to them that they won't hear from me so if they want to meet again they'll need to message.

I've been told I shouldn't say that. I thought I was making it easy for the guys.

If a bloke said that to me I'd take it as a brush off

Exactly, if it was said to me i would see it as a brush off too

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By *irty Girty From No 30Woman
over a year ago

Burbage

"I mean by texting as if I've met someone we've exchanged numbers.

If you enjoyed the meet just a quick text to say that would be fine.

That's not bunny boiler territory then

Bunny boiler is when send constant messages with no replies to any, its not bunny boiler to send one message.

As for prick where did send message that time, thats exactly it, he was a prick that had no bottle to tell truth, hardly error on your part, forget him and his lack of decency skills and focus on all the other men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They always message in the end!!

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

"They always message in the end!! "

No, no "they" don't.

It should be fairly obvious if your meet went well and, ergo if you (male or female) should message again. If not, don't blame us for your lack of social skills...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I mean by texting as if I've met someone we've exchanged numbers.

If you enjoyed the meet just a quick text to say that would be fine.

That's not bunny boiler territory then

Bunny boiler is when send constant messages with no replies to any, its not bunny boiler to send one message.

There is more to being a bunny boiler than just sending a few messages.

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

If I've had a good meet I say so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Without been pushy the simple answer would be. If you enjoyed the meet with someone and you wanted to meet them again....

Send a short message thanking them for a great time and tell them if they ever wanted to meet up again, to keep in touch.

That sort of message is not been pushy and if they want to meet again they'll reply and if they don't reply it's their loss.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am interested to find your opinions on messaging after a meet. I don't mean sending random messages on Fab.

In my mind I assume that if a guy has enjoyed a meet he will message again. And if he doesn't message then he has no interest in meeting again.

Therefore I do not message men first after a meet. My logic being that if he's not interested (as demonstrated by not messaging me) then the last thing he wants is messages from me.

However, I am told that I've got it all wrong. I am told this by women so I don't think that's the right sex to be advising me on this.

I would like to know what the single men think. I don't meet women or couples so that's why only single men

I always message people after a meet, even if i didnt get on with them. If we got on id say how much i enjoyed myself and ask if they wanted to meet again and if we didnt id explain that it didnt feel right

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I have sex with someone because I like them and would message before (possibly during if they are weird) and after. It makes me feel like a cheap slut if I try to keep a post sex chat going and they don't reciprocate. Makes me feel like they just wanted to use my body.

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

"I am interested to find your opinions on messaging after a meet. I don't mean sending random messages on Fab.

In my mind I assume that if a guy has enjoyed a meet he will message again. And if he doesn't message then he has no interest in meeting again.

Therefore I do not message men first after a meet. My logic being that if he's not interested (as demonstrated by not messaging me) then the last thing he wants is messages from me.

However, I am told that I've got it all wrong. I am told this by women so I don't think that's the right sex to be advising me on this.

I would like to know what the single men think. I don't meet women or couples so that's why only single men

There's me thinking we were adults and not prepubescent teens.. If you liked him message, if you didn't and he messages you..you can always say "thanks but no thanks."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So long as the meet went well, I think it is only polite to send a thank you message. As to who sends the message first isn’t really that important, what is important is how the message is worded, as this will determine whether the person wants to meet again or not.

If you wait for someone to send you a message you may find that the other person is waiting for you to do the same, hence, no one sends a message leaving both parties thinking the other is not interested in another meeting.

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"There's me thinking we were adults and not prepubescent teens.. "

Not sure I appreciate that. I'm acting like a totally uninterested adult.

Other people are telling me I'm wrong.

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

I need to make it clear, I am NOT sitting there like a love-sick puppy wondering what should I do?

I meet, I say "If you want to meat again message me, I won't be hassling you".

It seems perfectly reasonable and adult like way to act on an nsa site, to me anyway.

If he wants to meet again he messages. If not he doesn't. How more simple could I make it for a guy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This all seems very childish.

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"This all seems very childish. "

In what way? I'm asking a sensible question. How am I being childish?

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By *herealdeal90Man
over a year ago

Huddersfield

Why do people always expect men to make the first move? After a meet, if you like each other then let each other know, that you wanna meet again. It's irrelevant who texts who first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've asked a similar question before so I'll give the same answer. I don't get what the issue is with messaging someone. If you want to meet, you don't gain anything by sitting around waiting for shit to happen.

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"You've asked a similar question before so I'll give the same answer. I don't get what the issue is with messaging someone. If you want to meet, you don't gain anything by sitting around waiting for shit to happen."

I have?

I keep saying I am not waiting around for stuff to happen.

I just want single men's opinions on how what I do comes across.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know what you mean

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I know what you mean "

In what sense?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know what you mean

In what sense? "

It's true to an extent. It's happened to me before. Girls do expect guys to get in touch first after initial meet, but sometimes it's great when girl contacts guy first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a matter of courtesy, I always send a brief message in any event.

Whether there will be another visit or not, it's something to be decided /arranged.. but there is no point for one party to wait for the other to reply first.

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I know what you mean

In what sense?

It's true to an extent. It's happened to me before. Girls do expect guys to get in touch first after initial meet, but sometimes it's great when girl contacts guy first "

Thanks

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

"I am interested to find your opinions on messaging after a meet. I don't mean sending random messages on Fab.

In my mind I assume that if a guy has enjoyed a meet he will message again. And if he doesn't message then he has no interest in meeting again.

Therefore I do not message men first after a meet. My logic being that if he's not interested (as demonstrated by not messaging me) then the last thing he wants is messages from me.

However, I am told that I've got it all wrong. I am told this by women so I don't think that's the right sex to be advising me on this.

I would like to know what the single men think. I don't meet women or couples so that's why only single men

I don't message a woman first

Using the logic if she enjoyed she will message again and if she didn't she won't xx

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"As a matter of courtesy, I always send a brief message in any event.

Whether there will be another visit or not, it's something to be decided /arranged.. but there is no point for one party to wait for the other to reply first."

I don't wait though, if I don't hear from him I assume he's not interested and I forget about him.

But from what some guys are saying it would be a good idea for me to send a 'thanks' message anyway.

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I don't message a woman first

Using the logic if she enjoyed she will message again and if she didn't she won't xx"

Exactly my logic, but if we both practice it we may be missing out I guess.

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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

Just message a 'thank you for the lovely meet' or something along the line after a meet and see what response you get. As simple as that. I do that anyway, simply out of courtesy.

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Just message a 'thank you for the lovely meet' or something along the line after a meet and see what response you get. As simple as that. I do that anyway, simply out of courtesy. "

Thanks

I know what to say, just wondering if guys mind that message or not.

Seems they do on the whole

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally, I would evenjust as simple as "I enjoyed today thankyou" ?

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Personally, I would evenjust as simple as "I enjoyed today thankyou" ?"

Even if I'd said to them I won't message them unless I hear from them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Suppose the guy thinks the same way as you. So you both want to meet again but expect the other to message first! You are both afraid to be rejected...and both end up being rejected!

Just think of it logically....stop being an idiot...and message them. Worse case scenario is they say no....but then you know it is a no rather than assuming it....and most would be a yes...obviously!

(I do keep contact if I have enjoyed a meet and/or told them I would) I have made several long term friends on here that way!

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By *r ManxMan
over a year ago

NeverWhere

its rude not to say thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we meet and the chemistry isn't there I'd be the gent and be sociable, leave a nice verification but would be unlikely to mail them again.

If they messaged first I would reply but with a closed ending

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of men. Myself included are insecure and do not believe women are interested in them. Not all blokes are pulling all the time xx

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By *outhyorkshireMan
over a year ago

south yorkshire

Its simple communitation, there is nothing wrong with saying "i enjoyed this, if you want to meet up again send me a message" then that removes all the doubt of who messages back first, you have given your opinion on the meet and invited them to contact you

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Suppose the guy thinks the same way as you. So you both want to meet again but expect the other to message first! You are both afraid to be rejected...and both end up being rejected!

(I do keep contact if I have enjoyed a meet and/or told them I would) I have made several long term friends on here that way!"

I am not afraid of being rejected. At the end of the first meet I tell him he won't hear from me unless I hear from him that he wants to meet again.

Seems logical to me and easy for him.

Not sure where everyone is getting all the worries that I don't have from. I'm not fretting, worrying about rejection, wondering on my death bed what might have been etc. (read the thread if you're not sure what I mean)

I just want to know, from single males, not women or people who want to use this as an excuse to have a go at me, if my approach is ok by them or not

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"I am interested to find your opinions on messaging after a meet. I don't mean sending random messages on Fab.

In my mind I assume that if a guy has enjoyed a meet he will message again. And if he doesn't message then he has no interest in meeting again.

Therefore I do not message men first after a meet. My logic being that if he's not interested (as demonstrated by not messaging me) then the last thing he wants is messages from me.

However, I am told that I've got it all wrong. I am told this by women so I don't think that's the right sex to be advising me on this.

I would like to know what the single men think. I don't meet women or couples so that's why only single men

why is it the mans job to message first? if you enjoyed it and want to met again why not message them and say so?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am interested to find your opinions on messaging after a meet. I don't mean sending random messages on Fab.

In my mind I assume that if a guy has enjoyed a meet he will message again. And if he doesn't message then he has no interest in meeting again.

Therefore I do not message men first after a meet. My logic being that if he's not interested (as demonstrated by not messaging me) then the last thing he wants is messages from me.

However, I am told that I've got it all wrong. I am told this by women so I don't think that's the right sex to be advising me on this.

I would like to know what the single men think. I don't meet women or couples so that's why only single men

I will always message and verify and a meet, I don't think anyone has to go first but I think it's fair to say that if both of you enjoyed it then it wont be long before one messages the other, its also really nice to get back home after a meet and see that the lady has already left me a nice veri.

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"its rude not to say thank you "

I've said "thank you" on the night, I've said "I'd like to see you again" on the night.

There is no confusion on his part.

But I also say that he won't hear from me unless I hear from him that he wants to meet again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely if a guy wants to meet again then he will message you, it's nice for us to hear from you saying you've had a good time and would like to do it again. But the man should definitely be doing the chasing xx

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"why is it the mans job to message first? if you enjoyed it and want to met again why not message them and say so?"

Because I've told him I won't hassle him by messaging and if he wants to meet again to message me.

If I want to meet him again I will already have said that to him. I'm not a teenager-like worry monster, I say what I want and to who I want

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Definitely if a guy wants to meet again then he will message you, it's nice for us to hear from you saying you've had a good time and would like to do it again. But the man should definitely be doing the chasing xx"

Thank you, that's what I thought.

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

"Personally, I would evenjust as simple as "I enjoyed today thankyou" ?

Even if I'd said to them I won't message them unless I hear from them?"

I might be a bit thickn.. what's your question.. in your op you wanted men's opinions on whether you should message first after a meet...

Even though you've told the guys you won't be messaging them unless they message you.

No wonder guys don't understand women.

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Personally, I would evenjust as simple as "I enjoyed today thankyou" ?

Even if I'd said to them I won't message them unless I hear from them?

I might be a bit thickn.. what's your question.. in your op you wanted men's opinions on whether you should message first after a meet...

Even though you've told the guys you won't be messaging them unless they message you.

No wonder guys don't understand women.

You're very right, it has slipped my mind that I added later on that I tell them they should message me if they want to meet again.

My question I guess then is am I doing the right thing by not messaging a guy after a meet, having told him that he should message me if they want to meet again? And if I want to meet again I have said so/

Women say I'm wrong to say that, I want to know if men think the same.

I think I'm doing them a favour by making it easy for them. Am I correct or not?

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By *tillup4funMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

"Personally, I would evenjust as simple as "I enjoyed today thankyou" ?

Even if I'd said to them I won't message them unless I hear from them?

I might be a bit thickn.. what's your question.. in your op you wanted men's opinions on whether you should message first after a meet...

Even though you've told the guys you won't be messaging them unless they message you.

No wonder guys don't understand women.

You're very right, it has slipped my mind that I added later on that I tell them they should message me if they want to meet again.

Women say I'm wrong to say that, I want to know if men think the same.

I think I'm doing them a favour by making it easy for them. Am I correct or not?"

I always send a message after a meet and a verie but to answer your question yes guys love to get messages after a meet even if they don,t want to meet again. To some people on here its not just the meet that matters its the chase and the fact you wanted to meet them.

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I always send a message after a meet and a verie but to answer your question yes guys love to get messages after a meet even if they don,t want to meet again. To some people on here its not just the meet that matters its the chase and the fact you wanted to meet them."

Thank you

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By *onyneMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

It's good to keep in touch after a meet, unless there is some particular reason why this would be a bad idea...I would normally ask if people would like to stay in touch, and messaging to say hello is always good with people you know and are happy to stay in touch with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me personally, I always message after a meet,whether it was a pre-arranged one off or not. It's polite and natural. After all, you've just shared a good experience with someone.

"I am interested to find your opinions on messaging after a meet. I don't mean sending random messages on Fab.

In my mind I assume that if a guy has enjoyed a meet he will message again. And if he doesn't message then he has no interest in meeting again.

Therefore I do not message men first after a meet. My logic being that if he's not interested (as demonstrated by not messaging me) then the last thing he wants is messages from me.

However, I am told that I've got it all wrong. I am told this by women so I don't think that's the right sex to be advising me on this.

I would like to know what the single men think. I don't meet women or couples so that's why only single men

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By *inky-Minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Grantham

"After all, you've just shared a good experience with someone."

A coffee experience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Then yeah I would definitely get on comms asap,as the guy

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

"Me personally, I always message after a meet,whether it was a pre-arranged one off or not. It's polite and natural. After all, you've just shared a good experience with someone.

I am interested to find your opinions on messaging after a meet. I don't mean sending random messages on Fab.

In my mind I assume that if a guy has enjoyed a meet he will message again. And if he doesn't message then he has no interest in meeting again.

Therefore I do not message men first after a meet. My logic being that if he's not interested (as demonstrated by not messaging me) then the last thing he wants is messages from me.

However, I am told that I've got it all wrong. I am told this by women so I don't think that's the right sex to be advising me on this.

I would like to know what the single men think. I don't meet women or couples so that's why only single men

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