FabSwingers.com forum: Guilt when playing when your partner isn't?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Does anyone struggle with swinging when their partner hasn't got plans to play in a while?

My partner and I were long distance playpartners leading to a relationship, when I lived in Ireland I played regularly with a guy on fab, which was great and I felt no guilt. My now boyfriend had a girlfriend at the time and had a good few regular sexual partners.

When I moved 9 months ago with the change in routine stress of having no job and no close friends I didn't want to play so for a good few months he played as normal and I only played with him.

Over the past 9 months I've had 1 fab meet (which was a few months ago now and put me off fabbing for a while) and 1 swing night without him. But after this swing night I found myself feeling guilty because his regular meets have moved on or can rarely visit him and I'm now having fun.

How does a person get over guilt that they know is silly? because in a way now it is my turn to have some fun (not that I am stopping him). He tells me it's ok and I've never stopped him from meeting. Anyone else ever felt this way?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

No I haven't but I do know that guilt is only useful if it stops you from doing something you feel is wrong. So if you feel that what you're doing is wrong stop, if you feel it's not wrong carry on and stop wasting your energy on a pointless feeling.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think as long as you talk about what each of you are doing and are happy with it then you shouldn't feel guilty.

I (female half) sometimes play on my our with a guy, but I always tell my other half when I'm going to see him and check he is ok with it. We always talk about what I've been up to when I get home....which usually ends with us have a good session.

If I felt guilty rather than naughty after then that would be the time to stop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't get guilty if my partners haven't played for a while. They're all more than capable of organising something or getting along to a club if they want something more spontaneous.

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

Most of the time I don't play but its entirely my choice based on not feeling it for whatever reason. Mr plays more often than I do, even at clubs, but I would hate him to feel guilty about it .... to my knowledge he doesn't, there would be no reason to. After all, we can't both be feeling exactly the same way about every situation ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op. I can understand where your coming from. I do not now play alone, quite a few reasons but a big one for me is how guilty I have felt... And know I would feel again.

Cant tell you anyway to help.... Just that your not alone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't feel guilty when I'm playing on my own. We are both very comfortable with the other out fucking others. More often than not I miss Adam playing with me, and i think that I might be having more fun if he was there... But not guilt.

V xxx

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