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"Why would you want to justify yourself to anyone? " This. Its your business what you do with your life. As long as you're not hurting anyone else, who cares? | |||
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"we got outed, friends and family" Still none of their business. | |||
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"we got outed, friends and family" Then thank them for their concern, tell them that you are both happy with the arrangement and your sex life is absolutely none of their business. They might be worried about one or both of you so reassure them on that score and refuse to discuss it further, justification just makes you look as if you have doubts. | |||
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"we got outed, friends and family" I still wouldn't justify anything I did,regardless of who found out. My life,my business. | |||
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"we got outed, friends and family" As already said, if I had friends or family expecting me to justify myself on my naughty harmless private life front I'd be questioning them I'd be asking family when the last time I poked my nose into their sex life. Then telling them to keep their's out've mine regardless of what it entails | |||
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"If they were really your friends, you wouldn't have to justify what you enjoy." Agree A real friend would take you unconditionally and just accept what you do without question | |||
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"Guy is fine, his friends are jealous, mine are all like bitching and hating about it, saying it's silly its wrong, why would you do that. they've seen pics sent them to family, we enjoy what we do we just cant defend ourselves that we are normal and we're right and everyone else is frigid and boring " Well, if you tell them that, no wonder they're cross! Just smile enigmatically and change the subject. It's none of their business. | |||
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"Guy is fine, his friends are jealous, mine are all like bitching and hating about it, saying it's silly its wrong, why would you do that. they've seen pics sent them to family, we enjoy what we do we just cant defend ourselves that we are normal and we're right and everyone else is frigid and boring " How have your friends seen pics sent to your family? | |||
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"Guy is fine, his friends are jealous, mine are all like bitching and hating about it, saying it's silly its wrong, why would you do that. they've seen pics sent them to family, we enjoy what we do we just cant defend ourselves that we are normal and we're right and everyone else is frigid and boring " Now you're being as bad as them nobody is wrong and nobody is right. How did they get hold of the pictures? Just refuse to discuss it any further. | |||
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"Guy is fine, his friends are jealous, mine are all like bitching and hating about it, saying it's silly its wrong, why would you do that. they've seen pics sent them to family, we enjoy what we do we just cant defend ourselves that we are normal and we're right and everyone else is frigid and boring How have your friends seen pics sent to your family? " +1. someones looked on fab and seen you? seems hypocritical! I for one wouldn't be friends with someone who takes my pics and distributes them to anyone before speaking to me first. | |||
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"someone has sent my picture to close friends and family, probably someone local" But how did they know who your close friends and family are? | |||
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"How can we justify swinging to our friends? they say its wrong??? they say we must be bored of each other and don't find each other enough. help please we're struggling to justify ourselves and are losing arguments. not that it matters to them but if anyone can think of a come back that'd be great." Since the question was about "how" to justify it rather than whether they should have to, here goes: Statistically speaking 60-70% of marriages suffer from infidelity anyway and doing it behind someone's back is hurtful, whilst doing it together is fun. According to prediction expert Otley Ashenfelter, a strong sex life is the best predictor of lasting marital success. The second factor relates to arguements and most swingers would say swinging improves your communication skills, which should in turn lead to less arguments. I assume you've already seen the divorce rate recently... So I'd go with that line of arguement, followed by "and at least I have to balls to live my fantasies whilst your husband is jacking off in the shower every morning" | |||
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"someone has sent my picture to close friends and family, probably someone local" If that is your postcode, then i suggest you start with having that information removed. I'm sorry this has happened to you, so twisted to send this to peoples families... | |||
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"If they were really your friends, you wouldn't have to justify what you enjoy." this.. it's no ones business but your own.. | |||
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"Could always try not advertising your personal buisness " | |||
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"we got outed, friends and family Deny it I would" Impossible... they got face pic on profile | |||
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"we got outed, friends and family Deny it I would Impossible... they got face pic on profile " Yeah but I posted that before she said pics had been send | |||
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"As for trying to make them understand... Not even people on here sometimes understand and question why people do it. " -Courtney | |||
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"Just say to them quietly "You know all those little fantasies you each have in your heads but keep secret from each other? We actually do them and we've never been happier."" We say this about swinging (but only to ourselves). | |||
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"love this so far ive used inboxes and comments to make this ... so far... not finished, thank you all for contributing to this. : Swinging is a lifestyle choice based on a level of comfort and trust with your partner that most vanilla people can’t understand and can’t get their heads around. It's an extension of your sex life not a replacement. " I don't think the answer is about telling them that they can't have the intimacy you have without swinging because many couples can have that, without swinging. You don't need to swing to have a level of comfort and trust with your partner. There are also not a few swinging relationships we have seen where one partner is coerced by the other ... or at least not into it. I think its silly implying you only swingers have the best relationships .... it all depends on the individuals involved. | |||
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"How can we justify swinging to our friends? they say its wrong??? they say we must be bored of each other and don't find each other enough. help please we're struggling to justify ourselves and are losing arguments. not that it matters to them but if anyone can think of a come back that'd be great." No offense, but why do you need to justify yourselves, if they can't accept or understand it, that's their problem, no need for you to justify yourselves | |||
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"we got outed, friends and family" Sorry to hear that! Happened to me to a large extent - but most are cool with it now! If you feel you must explain - tell them to think of your sex life as a couple as a really great cake - wonderful in itself - and swinging with others is the frosting/cherry on top! That's how I see it with the lovely couples I've befriended on here - and sometimes I get to be the cherry! | |||
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"Sounds like a fairly normal response imo, one I I would expect to hear from people I know. The thing is I wouldn't try to justify it, I would just say I'm not prepared to dissect my sex life. " *discuss!! | |||
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"How can we justify swinging to our friends? they say its wrong??? they say we must be bored of each other and don't find each other enough. help please we're struggling to justify ourselves and are losing arguments. not that it matters to them but if anyone can think of a come back that'd be great." Why do you feel the need to discuss your "private" life with friends, let alone justify it? | |||
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"If I had friends expecting me to justify myself on my naughty harmless private life front I'd be questioning them as friends. " Can't blame them if you feel the need to discuss your business and they disapprove. | |||
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"love this so far ive used inboxes and comments to make this ... so far... not finished, thank you all for contributing to this. : Swinging is a lifestyle choice based on a level of comfort and trust with your partner that most vanilla people can’t understand and can’t get their heads around. It's an extension of your sex life not a replacement. I don't think the answer is about telling them that they can't have the intimacy you have without swinging because many couples can have that, without swinging. You don't need to swing to have a level of comfort and trust with your partner. There are also not a few swinging relationships we have seen where one partner is coerced by the other ... or at least not into it. I think its silly implying you only swingers have the best relationships .... it all depends on the individuals involved." | |||
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"How can we justify swinging to our friends? they say its wrong??? they say we must be bored of each other and don't find each other enough. help please we're struggling to justify ourselves and are losing arguments. not that it matters to them but if anyone can think of a come back that'd be great." I have a few comments 1. I don't understand why you would be discussing your sex life with non-sexual friends. If somehow you have been outed, and they confront you, a simple "it's none of your business" should suffice and if they push it, they're no longer fit to be your friends as they don't seem to respect you. 2. If it's family that's a more serious problem. It's not happened to me but I've read about family getting wind of it and it does become a problem. 3. Most of my friends are also sex partners. Unlike many, I totally believe in friends having sex and remaining friends. Gail | |||
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"love this so far ive used inboxes and comments to make this ... so far... not finished, thank you all for contributing to this. : Swinging is a lifestyle choice based on a level of comfort and trust with your partner that most vanilla people can’t understand and can’t get their heads around. It's an extension of your sex life not a replacement. I don't think the answer is about telling them that they can't have the intimacy you have without swinging because many couples can have that, without swinging. You don't need to swing to have a level of comfort and trust with your partner. There are also not a few swinging relationships we have seen where one partner is coerced by the other ... or at least not into it. I think its silly implying you only swingers have the best relationships .... it all depends on the individuals involved." | |||
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"Why do you need to justify it? Tell them to butt out of your sex life, it's none of their business. There's no need for all of this swingers are higher beings stuff and vanilla being thrown around as an insult, just tell them to sod off. " I think one of the main things non-swingers dislike about Swingers is their elitist attitudes that only Swingers have good sex and everyone else is shit. Perhaps the friends just want them to shut the fuck up and stop trying to justify themselves. If they really were enjoying themselves they wouldn't feel the need to justify it and witter on about how great Swinging is. | |||
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"I'll be truthful having read your profile I would have some concerns about certain aspects. However as I've said you are adults and what you do is nobody's business but your own. It is possible though that your friends and family have wider concerns." | |||
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