FabSwingers.com forum: This whole thing about 'cheating men' and 'married men'

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok...so...this site right is a sex site. Why do so many women take the moral high ground about cheating men? I appreciate some do not want to meet married men playing away but some go on and on about it.

Women - Do you give a fuck if a man is married or not? I know some do but it would be refreshing to hear from women who seriously do not care so long as they get some cock.

Men - the situation flipped. Would you give a toss if a woman was married and wanted to have sex with you? Would you say "oh no you cheating cow...get back to your hubby i won't be a part of it" Or would you be there quicker than a rat up a drainpipe...i am betting the latter.

I certainly would not give a toss if she was married. Then again...i am a cheatng barsteward myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am going to be looking close at this one your a brave man , lol xxx its not nice having the wife come after you when she find out he is playing away when you had not a clue thay was married .. just be open about it if you are so we all know where we stand.As can get very very nasty x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ahhh i see...so its the sly ones who make out they are single that get up the womens noses?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It wouldn't bother us if we're honest. We started this to fullfill some personal fantasies.

We have both played with partners who were playing away. Have to admit, that we didn't know at the time, but we didn't feel bad about it when we found out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ahhh i see...so its the sly ones who make out they are single that get up the womens noses?"
Thats part of it yes when the wife find the msn or his mobile number or even where you live its not nice. Also some here know how it feels having a cheeting wife or husband thay know the pain thay felt and know how it hurt them and family.

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By *unterslickCouple
over a year ago

tullamore

well we wouldnt play away,its because we have both had it happen to us in the past,

but in saying that,we wouldnt judge anyone playing away,,everyone has different circumstances and we are not to know what they are

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I certainly would not give a toss if she was married. Then again...i am a cheatng barsteward myself

I am a man who can say hand on heart that i have said no the women who are in your words "cheating".... and I don't treat men or women differently from that aspect...

I have seen the damage that can be done, I have seen the pain that can be involved....

I don't think it is a sex site... I think it is a swinging site where people consentually have sex.... there is a difference

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would prefer that the guys were genuinely single and I'm not naive enough to believe that every guy who says he is single, really is single. I have bypassed profiles where the guy states he is married and playing alone because it doesn't sit well with me knowing that in advance. So from that point of view, I agree that honesty is best so that an informed decision can be made on whether you want to meet them or not.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

To me this is a sex site,but i have said elsewhere why i think i am less and less of a swinger.

However i do not see why being a slut means i leave my ethics at the door.I have played with married men whose wives dont know.Once because i fell for his poor me line,(i was a lot more naieve,once because we didnt know till afterwards)

It is something i try to avoid,although clearly at clubs that is not so easy.

Partly because you may cause pain to another,and partly because they always use the "my wife is no good/cold/in bed line.i wrote about it in my blog.If you are with someone and they dont enjoy sex,what is the common denominator..its you mate!Stop hanging about on sex sites and address that problem.

i suppose thats why clubs bother me less,they are just available cock,and dont try to justify or draw you into their deception.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Ahhh i see...so its the sly ones who make out they are single that get up the womens noses?"

I am going to try and honestly answer this trying to be without being emotive so bear with me.....

up to a point.... there are 2 types of honesty..so to speak...which I always find interesting

1) honesty to a bunch of people you don't really know on a website

2) honesty to the person you are suppose to love more than all others...

.... In a way, I wish I was one of these people who could play knowingly with "those without permission" and say "sorry.... not my problem!" and then wash my hands of it, but from the life experience I have seen in my own eyes and reading on sites, I know what can and does happen in reality

so that has what has moulded me......

I do understand the "live a day in my shoes" arguement a bit to try and understand better, but I have also seen the pain and anguish in words of people that will always stick with me, and will influence the way I think on this subject....

hope I tried to keep it as neutral as i can....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think it is a sex site... I think it is a swinging site where people consentually have sex.... there is a difference"

Of course it's a sex site, and it's all consentual too. The main purpose of this sites existance is to bring consenting adults together for sexual liasons.

In an ideal world, everyone would tell the truth and everyone would believe everything that they're told. But it's not though is it?

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

In an ideal world, everyone would tell the truth and everyone would believe everything that they're told. But it's not though is it? "

and that is why I answered your bit about "not feeling bad about it when you found out"... because to be honest I would....

for the sake of honestly... I have been in the situation of the one "cheated on".. and what did it do to me.... at the time a whole ton of pain that I wouldn't wish on anyone....

Am I a much stronger person after for going thru all that... yeah sure, but as i said to her "I wasn't the person she was thinking of when she did what she did........"

at the time she thought she was "bulletproof" and could have her cake and eat it.... what she learnt in the end is that for every action there is a reaction, whether you know it or not....

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Ok...so...this site right is a sex site. Why do so many women take the moral high ground about cheating men? I appreciate some do not want to meet married men playing away but some go on and on about it.

Women - Do you give a fuck if a man is married or not? I know some do but it would be refreshing to hear from women who seriously do not care so long as they get some cock.

I certainly would not give a toss if she was married. Then again...i am a cheatng barsteward myself

Erm... I think you'll find that it's not just women who take the moral highground.

My choice is that I wouldn't play with a married man. It's not a moral thing, what people do with their lives is their business. Everyone's circumstances are different and I don't judge people who play away, that's their thing to deal with. It's not my business.

I come here for fun, not complications and in my experience, playing with people who are married can be problematic.

I don't play alone with couples for the same reason.

However, there are times when I make an exception and that's if I'm at a club. On those occasions it's purely about physical attraction. I don't want/need to know any more than I find the person I'm about to have sex with attractive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive found this thread very interesting. I am from the camp of 'its none of my business' and what the guy gets up to is his responsibility, and not mine. But _abio's messages have struck a chord with me. I am on here to have fun, and certainly not to cause pain, in particular emotional pain. And as this is a swingers site, and not just a 'fucking' site, then i guess there should be a bit of honouring the swingers code.

I prefer honesty, and people to be upfront about their situation, if they choose to discuss their private lives at all. But i wonder now, if i may take some of what _abio in particular has said. I guess ive already made the decision myself to be single, and not 'play away' while in a relationship, so perhaps i should act the same way with the guys im playing with?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK, I'm sure I'll get shot down in flames for this

I am married and play without permission

To any couples or females my opening line, when I contact anyone, is stating just that.

I guarantee that if there was action at home you wouldn't see me for dust on any site, but there isn't, (I'm talking 12 - 18 month gaps) and there's an open statement on the other side of the relationship of "just not interested" (that may mean just not with me, I appreciate that, before its pointed out)

However, we get on extremely well, we have a very comfortable life and I wouldn't want that to change.

I have also, on many occasions, highlighted the hole in the relationship and how it makes me feel and the threat of leaving normally solicits the once every 12 - 18 month event.

So what's my choice, be up front, walk away and hurt everyone and divide our lifestyles, or satisfy my needs (selfish maybe) occasionally in the safest possible way and hope it keeps everything together?

I'd love to hear (constructive) opinion

Therapy over

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"OK, I'm sure I'll get shot down in flames for this

I am married and play without permission

To any couples or females my opening line, when I contact anyone, is stating just that.

However, we get on extremely well, we have a very comfortable life and I wouldn't want that to change.

I have also, on many occasions, highlighted the hole in the relationship and how it makes me feel and the threat of leaving normally solicits the once every 12 - 18 month event.

I'd love to hear (constructive) opinion

Therapy over

Why is it selfish to consider the satisfaction of needs,your partner has them too.Suggestions?Couple therapy with a qualified therapist.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I am not going to shoot you down in flames.... don't worry...

for me there is one little phrase that will always stick with me...

"treat people the way you would want to be treated...."

it is a tricky subject....

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Women - Do you give a fuck if a man is married or not? I know some do but it would be refreshing to hear from women who seriously do not care so long as they get some cock.

I certainly would not give a toss if she was married. Then again...i am a cheatng barsteward myself

I don't think it is taking the moral highground for a lot of people, more so to what you are comfortable with.

in answer to your questions......yes, this couple do give a fuck if a man is married as we don't want to meet them, for lots of reasons....but the biggest one is we don't want to be the people who are helping someone deceive their partner.

What you do or what any other married person does is entirely up to you, and there will be people about who play with married people.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OK, I'm sure I'll get shot down in flames for this

I am married and play without permission

To any couples or females my opening line, when I contact anyone, is stating just that.

However, we get on extremely well, we have a very comfortable life and I wouldn't want that to change.

I have also, on many occasions, highlighted the hole in the relationship and how it makes me feel and the threat of leaving normally solicits the once every 12 - 18 month event.

I'd love to hear (constructive) opinion

Therapy over

In my eyes you are doing nothing wrong. The realtionship gives you everything you need except sex...so you go elsewhere for it.

I know i may get shot down in flames over this but there is also another old saying Fabio

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am not going to shoot you down in flames.... don't worry...

for me there is one little phrase that will always stick with me...

"treat people the way you would want to be treated...."

it is a tricky subject....

Fabio, I'm totally with you on that, but as much as I try it doesn't seem to hit home.

I've had a lot of occasions where other women have tried to tempt me into a relationship and I guess ultimately leaving for them, but I've avoided that in favour of consensual "no strings" sex without the emotional attachment.

Is there something more morally honest in ditching a partner for the sake of moving on?

Which is the lesser evil?

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By *-and-KCouple
over a year ago

Back of Beyond

We would never take the chance over a cheating partner, whether husband or wife.

There is nothing like a partner scorned to exact revenge once they find out what is going on. This can so easily spill over to include you in any repercussions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We would never take the chance over a cheating partner, whether husband or wife.

There is nothing like a partner scorned to exact revenge once they find out what is going on. This can so easily spill over to include you in any repercussions."
and thats very true x some can do all sorts and if thay know where you live get to your family if thats a away of getting to you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We would never take the chance over a cheating partner, whether husband or wife.

There is nothing like a partner scorned to exact revenge once they find out what is going on. This can so easily spill over to include you in any repercussions.and thats very true x some can do all sorts and if thay know where you live get to your family if thats a away of getting to you."

A guy would have to be seriously sloppy to allow that to happen and leave 'a trace'. That is worst case scenario...surely those are very few and far between.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been in the situation where I was having dinner with a gentleman and my mobile rang, it was his wife.

She had found a scrap of paper he had written my number on.

I neither knew he was married or wanted to see him after that, I was speechless and hurt.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've been in the situation where I was having dinner with a gentleman and my mobile rang, it was his wife.

She had found a scrap of paper he had written my number on.

I neither knew he was married or wanted to see him after that, I was speechless and hurt. "

Ok using the above as an example...thats a terrible slip up on his behalf.

I am getting from this though that its more about the wife finding out and coming after you than the guilt factor of him having a wife sat at home in slippers as you ride him.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been in the situation where I was having dinner with a gentleman and my mobile rang, it was his wife.

She had found a scrap of paper he had written my number on.

I neither knew he was married or wanted to see him after that, I was speechless and hurt.

Ok using the above as an example...thats a terrible slip up on his behalf.

I am getting from this though that its more about the wife finding out and coming after you than the guilt factor of him having a wife sat at home in slippers as you ride him."

I didn't 'ride' him, I left. I have been in the situation where my husband cheated on me. I left him too after 20 years together, I'm afraid once trust is lost respect goes too, and if I can't respect a person then nothing would persuade me to be with them.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Mines more

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Mines more

I'd be more

if I thought it was serious .... but when it comes to someone baiting for me it's more of a

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Mines more

I'd be more

if I thought it was serious .... but when it comes to someone baiting for me it's more of a

This is a serious subject

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know some single woman who only like married men to play with ..... some of there fuck buddies think thay are closer to them then the wife. And some woman happy being other woman dont care and swing with them on sites like this ... we are all diffrent here some with diffrent needs and likes.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Mines more

I'd be more

if I thought it was serious .... but when it comes to someone baiting for me it's more of a

This is a serious subject"

It is indeed a serious subject... your posts on the other hand are flippant and appear to portray dishonesty, betrayal and infidelity as something superficial.... which only stupid guys get caught doing and won't hurt anyone as long as her in doors is clueless.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Mines more

I'd be more

if I thought it was serious .... but when it comes to someone baiting for me it's more of a

Hmmm I think you are right, I used the wrong one , but in my defence I was thinking more of shocked face as to how people may think others are stupid type of emoticon

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Unless of course I am just giving the OP too much credit on the intelligence scale...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The word consensual has been used a lot in this thread.

In Our opinion and as far as it applies to us:

I consent to Tra having sexual contact with others

Tra consents to me having sexual contact with others

If we play with someone who is married we would prefer that they also had the consent of their partners,regardless of whether they were present or not.

So,yes,in some circumstances we will play with married people on their own

But cheating is cheating. If your own spouse can't trust you then why would we?

Trust..an outdated concept for some..not for others

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Mines more

I'd be more

if I thought it was serious .... but when it comes to someone baiting for me it's more of a

This is a serious subject

Well it may come across like that but thats not how it is meant. If a guy is going to play away then don't be so much of an amateur to leave a scribbled note with a mobile number on it with a womens username such as 'fuckslut' or something similar. That was my point.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What i did want to get to the bottom of though is how many women on a 'sex' site cos thats what this is...this is a site used by people to get off...really could give a toss about an attached guy.

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By *im halpertMan
over a year ago

redditch

I would not be at all bothered if someone I played with was married or not-this is not match.com after all!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"What i did want to get to the bottom of though is how many women on a 'sex' site cos thats what this is...this is a site used by people to get off...really could give a toss about an attached guy."

I am guessing you know the answer to that and just want to provoke more controversial answers with your posts.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What i did want to get to the bottom of though is how many women on a 'sex' site cos thats what this is...this is a site used by people to get off...really could give a toss about an attached guy.

I am guessing you know the answer to that and just want to provoke more controversial answers with your posts.

You've got me so wrong you really have!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Will repost as one word was wrong.

I am guessing you know the answer to that and just want to provoke controversial answers with your posts.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Anyway can we get back to the discussion instead of turning this thread into a personal attack on me? No doubt its because i am a cheating bugger who mucks around whilst err indoors reads a book and watches emmerdale

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By *im halpertMan
over a year ago

redditch

you will find some people are a bit judgemental on these forums lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you will find some people are a bit judgemental on these forums lol

and some people have no scruples

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By *im halpertMan
over a year ago

redditch

as poster said -this is a sex site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would still play with a married women if if her husband did not no beacuse she is here for a reason and I don't mind filling the holes in x x

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By *ustyWoman
over a year ago

inverclyde

if a guy is playing away and the wife has no idea then its cheating and thats it, me i only play with single guys, done the married bit and wife didnt know but he got caught out with someone else so before i got it in the neck i stopped it...... now she has left him due to his playing behind her back

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"you will find some people are a bit judgemental on these forums lol

Lol...you are not kidding!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Anyway can we get back to the discussion instead of turning this thread into a personal attack on me? No doubt its because i am a cheating bugger who mucks around whilst err indoors reads a book and watches emmerdale"

It isn't a personal attack on you, it is an observation of what I THINK you are probably doing and I THINK that by how you are wording your posts.

You seem to Want people to be judgmental with you and the last half of this post proves it.

I also think you will find that I have never given a toss what married men do, and have always defended their right to do what they like on this site the same as the rest of us.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hey look Rugby..no worries. I may come across as flippant and taking the piss a lot of the time but that is my personality. Anyone who has chatted to me on here will know that. It does not mean i am any less serious. I just can't understand how some women go crazy over it...if the guy is cheating and messing about behind his wifes back...surely that is his lookout not yours. That said OF COURSE you have a choice not to play with him if you feel like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm here for uncomplicated fun and fantasy. There'd be no sexual satisfaction playing with couples, so I don't meet them. There are hundreds of single men for me to play with, somewhat extremely.

How would a married man explain the extra colour in his cheeks where I've whipped him? How would he cover up the redness of hot wax on his skin? Get my drift? I also like the spontaneity of single men: I've just released one as I had a free morning. A married man unlikely to disappear for a few hours. Add to that I don't fancy being someone's scratching post: mutual scratching post is another thing!

Personally I can't see the attraction of married men when there are sooooooooo many uncomplicated single men to play with.

As for the OP, I think you're on a bit of a wind up! Married men post all the time: don't recall any being as flippant as you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Come on people let's cheer up and have some fun

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I'm here for uncomplicated fun and fantasy. There'd be no sexual satisfaction playing with couples, so I don't meet them. There are hundreds of single men for me to play with, somewhat extremely.

Personally I can't see the attraction of married men when there are sooooooooo many uncomplicated single men to play with.

As for the OP, I think you're on a bit of a wind up! Married men post all the time: don't recall any being as flippant as you!

"
men-uncomplicated!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Hey look Rugby..no worries. I may come across as flippant and taking the piss a lot of the time but that is my personality. Anyone who has chatted to me on here will know that. It does not mean i am any less serious. I just can't understand how some women go crazy over it...if the guy is cheating and messing about behind his wifes back...surely that is his lookout not yours. That said OF COURSE you have a choice not to play with him if you feel like that."

Ok np.

I agree with part of it, yes, it is your mess if you get found out, but sometimes the mess comes to the other person instead, as lots of people who have been cheated on blame the other party, initally at least.

You have the other part where people just don't like others who cheat, they wouldn't dream of doing it, so wouldn't help others do it.

I do find it hard to understand why you don't understand any reasons of why people won't play with marrieds though.......now as you say you are being serious, I will ask seriously, do you really think everyone will think exactly like you?

If you don't, then it is easy to accept that people have their reasons.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

So do all married men who frequent clubs wear their wedding rings when they join as single males? There are married men and women on here as singles, if you choose to play with them all well and good if you dont leave em well alone, i really dont see the problem!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"So do all married men who frequent clubs wear their wedding rings when they join as single males? There are married men and women on here as singles, if you choose to play with them all well and good if you dont leave em well alone, i really dont see the problem!

Thats too easy

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By *uss PussWoman
over a year ago

east cheshire

I wont play with married or attached as it has a habit of kicking you in the arse!

Also thier "playtime" is somewhat restricted and doesnt fit in with when I want to play....the "daytime" quicky meet mails tend to show up many of the not so upfront people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm here for uncomplicated fun and fantasy. There'd be no sexual satisfaction playing with couples, so I don't meet them. There are hundreds of single men for me to play with, somewhat extremely.

Personally I can't see the attraction of married men when there are sooooooooo many uncomplicated single men to play with.

As for the OP, I think you're on a bit of a wind up! Married men post all the time: don't recall any being as flippant as you!

men-uncomplicated!

Sub men are, as it really is all about me: nothing complicated about that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women - Do you give a fuck if a man is married or not? "

I do actually, and so does my bloke (and yes we treat men and women the same).

What it comes down to for us is simply that we like people with some degree of integrity. Whilst cheating certainly has "degrees" (from the d*unken fumble to the lifelong affair), anyone who plans and arranges meets behind their other half's back is, to us, quite lacking in consideration, emotional aweness and common decency.

And why on earth would we want to meet someone like that? We are worth SO much more

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

This isn't just a sex site, it's a swinging site. The ethos of swinging is set amongst values that a relationship is trusting and honest. Sexual activity with others is about enhancing a sexual relationship.... not excluding one partner in blissful ignorance whilst going off to find an alternative source.

Now whilst swinging sites welcome all sorts and not everyone will care about the ethos of swinging, you shouldn't be surprised to find plenty who do.

But this subject really isn't about swinging or even just about sex... it's about the values people place on relationships... it's about trust and honesty and respecting your life partner. Whilst there will be plenty who don't care who their 'visitor' has lied to in order to give them a poking.... again you shouldn't be surprised to find plenty who do.

And of those who don't care... I bet they soon would if it was their other half sneaking off somewhere.

There are plenty of sex sites which are just that, straight forward adults wanting a leg-over with no link to any lifestyle choice and there are plenty of sex sites specifically for people who are cheating on someone else. Some may wonder why a more tailored site would not be first choice, rather than questioning why there are people on here who don’t agree with the choices you have made with regards to cheating, lying and being disloyal to your partner.

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By *LBishCouple
over a year ago

near bury st edmunds

What i dont get is if you feel the need to cheat on your hubby or wife, you are obivously not happy, so do the decent thing and get a dam devorce.

I say dont do unto others what you wouldnt like done to yourself.

I wouldnt touch a married man if ya payed me cause i am no home wrecker and to think if kids are involved how it would affect them.

Do these cheeting ppl not think of the consiquences to the rest of the family etc etc, selfish is what i call them and its deffo not for me.

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By *-and-KCouple
over a year ago

Back of Beyond

Well said Polo

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What i dont get is if you feel the need to cheat on your hubby or wife, you are obivously not happy, so do the decent thing and get a dam devorce.

I say dont do unto others what you wouldnt like done to yourself.

I wouldnt touch a married man if ya payed me cause i am no home wrecker and to think if kids are involved how it would affect them.

Do these cheeting ppl not think of the consiquences to the rest of the family etc etc, selfish is what i call them and its deffo not for me.

Oh come on...you know full well it is never as black and white as 'get a divorce'

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By *nnebellWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

Well, I for one wish guys would sort their personal life out before coming on sites like these, Yet again I have had abussive messages from a cheated on spouse. The interesting fact was id never met the guy , only exchanged 2 emails as i felt he wasnt the kinda person i would want to play with. For this interaction I have been called every name you could think of and a few not even I knew. The lady was as mad as hell unfortunatly she seems to have directed in to the wrong people, I wouldnt like to be him lol when she finaly get's hold of him. She even went to the extreme of opening up her own profile........... woman scorned and all that.

Please if your partner has no idea you are on here, think of the people you have comtact with , they dont need your dirty washing aired in their backyard

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

"OK, I'm sure I'll get shot down in flames for this

I am married and play without permission

To any couples or females my opening line, when I contact anyone, is stating just that.

However, we get on extremely well, we have a very comfortable life and I wouldn't want that to change.

I have also, on many occasions, highlighted the hole in the relationship and how it makes me feel and the threat of leaving normally solicits the once every 12 - 18 month event.

I'd love to hear (constructive) opinion

Therapy over

In my eyes you are doing nothing wrong. The realtionship gives you everything you need except sex...so you go elsewhere for it.

I know i may get shot down in flames over this but there is also another old saying Fabio

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her""

WOW, what she doesnt know wont hurt her!!! I didnt know and it didnt hurt me at all. But then I found out and it hurt me and my family massively,years and years on its still a problem. So yes it eventually hurt me.

Love to know if your wife ended up in my place and did find out as I did,how she would feel and any kids you may have.

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

His lookout??

By him having sex with someone on this site he is bringing her into the situation and making her involved. Are people really this nieve(not sure about spelling) or really dont give a monkeys about anything except themself.

As long as the cheating person gets their rocks off then its all ok is it?

I wonder how the Op would feel if he had gone of sex for whatever reason and his wife would be on this site with his consent or knowledge. Would he care if his wife went to a swinging club on a regular basis and had sex with say 20 men each night? This is on the basis that he is no longer interested in sex and maybe only has it once a year as a married couple. Would the Op be upset?

I expect so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you cum yet?

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

"What i dont get is if you feel the need to cheat on your hubby or wife, you are obivously not happy, so do the decent thing and get a dam devorce.

I say dont do unto others what you wouldnt like done to yourself.

I wouldnt touch a married man if ya payed me cause i am no home wrecker and to think if kids are involved how it would affect them.

Do these cheeting ppl not think of the consiquences to the rest of the family etc etc, selfish is what i call them and its deffo not for me.

Oh come on...you know full well it is never as black and white as 'get a divorce'"

My ex made it that simple. To him it was simple. I want a divorce was said. It didnt matter to him how I reacted or how our kids would react. All that mattered to him is that he was free from responsibility and single again.

To me it wasnt simple as he clearly didnt care how everyone else would react and cope.

He was very crass and selfish in his actions. Mind you your comments through this thread have shown to me that your of a similar make as my ex and it was "easy" for him in his eyes.But for you it isnt black and white?

Maybe he just had a little more backbone for once in his life to stand up and sort out the ugly mess he was in.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"OK, I'm sure I'll get shot down in flames for this

I am married and play without permission

To any couples or females my opening line, when I contact anyone, is stating just that.

However, we get on extremely well, we have a very comfortable life and I wouldn't want that to change.

I have also, on many occasions, highlighted the hole in the relationship and how it makes me feel and the threat of leaving normally solicits the once every 12 - 18 month event.

I'd love to hear (constructive) opinion

Therapy over

In my eyes you are doing nothing wrong. The realtionship gives you everything you need except sex...so you go elsewhere for it.

I know i may get shot down in flames over this but there is also another old saying Fabio

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her"

And i'm inventing a new saying

"You really think she doesnt know and isn't hurting?"

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Jemima,for those that are cheating behind a partners back wether male or female it seems to me they really dont care if they are currently or may hurt their spouse in the future.

The only thing they seem to car about to me is what they get from it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Men - the situation flipped. Would you give a toss if a woman was married and wanted to have sex with you? Would you say "oh no you cheating cow...get back to your hubby i won't be a part of it" Or would you be there quicker than a rat up a drainpipe...i am betting the latter.

I certainly would not give a toss if she was married. Then again...i am a cheatng barsteward myself

That's exactly what I say, I don't meet married women or involved women. Cause if they are deceiving their partners then they can't really be trusted at all. Just me though, everyone is different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't meet married/ attached men for two reasons.

Mainly, cos I've had it done to me, I found out - it's not that difficult, people get careless - and I'd never want to be a part of doing that to someone else.

Also, I deserve better than being squeezed in between 2 meetings, with a timetable to fit in with. And I certainly deserve more than being cancelled on last minute because her plans have changed...the couple of times I've been hoodwinked these have been common telltale signs.

Having said that, I don't judge anyone who wants to play away - it's not my business and it's not me who's involved. It's a preference but I won't make a song and dance about it, if anyone contacts me I just give a polite no with a quick explanation of why.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""What she doesn't know won't hurt her"

And i'm inventing a new saying

"You really think she doesnt know and isn't hurting?""

I have to be honest - there's a good chance she might - I knew for about 6 months before I had enough information and couldn't ignore it anymore.

But I knew and it was always there in the back of my mind whatever I was doing. Of course, in fairness, some people never do find out and others are willing to turn a blind eye.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just think it shows a complete lack of respect to your partner wether male or female.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

""What she doesn't know won't hurt her"

And i'm inventing a new saying

"You really think she doesnt know and isn't hurting?"

I have to be honest - there's a good chance she might - I knew for about 6 months before I had enough information and couldn't ignore it anymore.

But I knew and it was always there in the back of my mind whatever I was doing. Of course, in fairness, some people never do find out and others are willing to turn a blind eye. "

And then there are the few, just a few... and these are the few I really like.... who know but never say anything, until one night whilst he's sleeping they go and get the big scissors from the kitchen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""What she doesn't know won't hurt her"

And i'm inventing a new saying

"You really think she doesnt know and isn't hurting?"

I have to be honest - there's a good chance she might - I knew for about 6 months before I had enough information and couldn't ignore it anymore.

But I knew and it was always there in the back of my mind whatever I was doing. Of course, in fairness, some people never do find out and others are willing to turn a blind eye.

Ooooh that was almost me!

(But the rational part with a promising career took over and hid the sharp things dammit)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont judge the married people I just tell them to move on I am not interested.

I was on the receiving end of a cheating husband. My kids are still hurting 3 years down the line and I have a feeling it is going to continue for many years. I will not knowingly or willingly be party to causing that kind of pain to another person.

I also dated a guy about a year after becoming single. Went 4 or 5 dates all was good right up untill I started receiving abusive messages from a very upset and hurt wife. I had no idea he was married.

So yes it can bite you in the arse and I choose not to be bitten.

Life is complicated enough for me why on earth would I make it more so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me i prefer single guys, i wont chat to or meet a married guy cheating on his wife because they are not available, not free and not single. I dont care how nice they are nor do i care their reason for cheating, they are not free, they have a wife/partner and thats who they should be with.

And i have also been the child of a slut of a mother whoring her ass round with a guy then flaunting him in front of my dad, not that cheaters care

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women - Do you give a fuck if a man is married or not?

I do actually, and so does my bloke (and yes we treat men and women the same).

And why on earth would we want to meet someone like that? We are worth SO much more"

Here here, its about respect for oneself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would still play with a married women if if her husband did not no beacuse she is here for a reason and I don't mind filling the holes in x x"

Becareful with that comment, you are showing your immaturity there

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"Jemima,for those that are cheating behind a partners back wether male or female it seems to me they really dont care if they are currently or may hurt their spouse in the future.

The only thing they seem to car about to me is what they get from it."

You may be right,i just know from friends on the recieving end,they knew.Ffs kev knows when im grumpy from pmt,he would sure as hell know if i had had a shag.

And for those who say its easy for me to judge,a little background.i am a sub and a masochist.Kev has no interest in BDSM and a moral objection to hitting women.

i could have played behind his back,i had enough offers,i could have left it,accepting my needs could not be fufilled in anotherwise happy ,sexually excellent marriage,or we could communicate,and work out a solution.

So now i have a Master,i'm happy,Kevs happy and no deception is needed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't mind filling the holes in x x"

Gross and shows a lack of respect. A woman is not a hole to be filled in....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jemima,for those that are cheating behind a partners back wether male or female it seems to me they really dont care if they are currently or may hurt their spouse in the future.

The only thing they seem to car about to me is what they get from it.

You may be right,i just know from friends on the recieving end,they knew.Ffs kev knows when im grumpy from pmt,he would sure as hell know if i had had a shag.

And for those who say its easy for me to judge,a little background.i am a sub and a masochist.Kev has no interest in BDSM and a moral objection to hitting women.

So now i have a Master,i'm happy,Kevs happy and no deception is needed.

See to me thats what i see a 'perfect' relationship; two people who love each other and work out their differences and gain mutual respect, not the 'my wife doesnt understand my needs' idiots, thats not love or respect at all

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By *LBishCouple
over a year ago

near bury st edmunds

i just cant beleave there ppl that cheat are totally none caring to the ppl they may hurt if found out, sorry but its spineless to cheat instead of sovling whats wrong in the marrage, if it cant be resolved them maybe time to move on. be open and honest only way for a relationship to work.

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Bish that would take confidence and honesty a backbone and also may make life difficult for them and maybe less money at the end of end.

I recon they carry on as its easier and doeant upser the applecart and they Will carry on justifying their actions with interesting comments like irs not hurting anyone lol

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

To be fair I don't think the OP has been trying to justify his actions, he's just been flippant about the whole subject of cheating.

Let's face it... if cheating could be justified, they'd be justifying it with their own partner instead of a bunch of strangers.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"Jemima,for those that are cheating behind a partners back wether male or female it seems to me they really dont care if they are currently or may hurt their spouse in the future.

The only thing they seem to car about to me is what they get from it.

You may be right,i just know from friends on the recieving end,they knew.Ffs kev knows when im grumpy from pmt,he would sure as hell know if i had had a shag.

And for those who say its easy for me to judge,a little background.i am a sub and a masochist.Kev has no interest in BDSM and a moral objection to hitting women.

So now i have a Master,i'm happy,Kevs happy and no deception is needed.

Ahh ty,but it will only be perfect when i discover what this housework thing is ppl talk about

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I think flippant is exactly like it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jemima,for those that are cheating behind a partners back wether male or female it seems to me they really dont care if they are currently or may hurt their spouse in the future.

The only thing they seem to car about to me is what they get from it.

You may be right,i just know from friends on the recieving end,they knew.Ffs kev knows when im grumpy from pmt,he would sure as hell know if i had had a shag.

And for those who say its easy for me to judge,a little background.i am a sub and a masochist.Kev has no interest in BDSM and a moral objection to hitting women.

So now i have a Master,i'm happy,Kevs happy and no deception is needed.

Ahh ty,but it will only be perfect when i discover what this housework thing is ppl talk about

Housework, never heard of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women - Do you give a fuck if a man is married or not? I know some do but it would be refreshing to hear from women who seriously do not care so long as they get some cock.

OP, you're right, more women than men object to people using this site to cheat. But that's because more women than men understand the convential world, where, for a woman, sex is more tightly bound up with love (due to need for a stable partner for child-rearing purposes). So women like me won't help a man to cheat and inflict pain on his non-swinging wife.

For a couple whose relationship is still loving but sexually unsatisfactory, an open and honest discussion of sexual needs should be possible (with medical advice, if required). If the problem can't be solved, there are other solutions which don't involve dishonesty, disrespect and abusing the trust of others.

Yes, we're on a swinging site, but we didn't leave our humanity and respect for others at the door.

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By *andit BabeWoman
over a year ago

melton mowbray

wow so many different views on here, and some very passionate ones too I'm kinda scared to post my thoughts!

I personally have no problem playing with married men, providing I know this upfront, I could not sleep with the husband of a woman I knew, but if she is a faceless stranger, never finds out and the two of us are satisfied then who is it hurting? This might seem an odd attitude for a woman to have but I do not think sex is an affair, an affair is an emotional thing. Sex is purely physical interaction much the same as a handshake is a physical interaction.

If a married guy were to fall in love with another woman yet they never sleep together, would that be an affair? he is meant to love his wife. I think yes. So you can have sex without and affair and an affair without sex.

For me it also gives me the security of knowing that he is going to toddle off back to his wife without going all clingy on me. Trust me tho boys, the "she just doesn't understand me" line won't get you anywhere.

And please girls and boys, this is my humble opinion, if you don't like it please don't get personal with the digs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am going to be looking close at this one your a brave man , lol xxx its not nice having the wife come after you when she find out he is playing away when you had not a clue thay was married .. just be open about it if you are so we all know where we stand.As can get very very nasty x"

Totaly agree with all you say having recently had an abusive mail off a wife that had caught her cheating husband and caught an sti of him I got a load of grief and I didnt even know who the guy was ffs never even met him he was up north n im down south

Im on this site to have fun not get grief

I guess its not easy though if your at clubs/parties youll never really know if the guys you meet are playing behind their wife/gf back

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By *LBishCouple
over a year ago

near bury st edmunds

who is it hurting? the wife the kids the whole family, if they find out MAYBE. Like i said before treat others as you would wish to be treated yourself and you wont go far wrong

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By *rankOfileMan
over a year ago

France

Here goes...deep breath! I'm a married man. and yes i guess it can be said that Im cheeting on my partner. We each have our reasons for doing what we do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Here goes...deep breath! I'm a married man. and yes i guess it can be said that Im cheeting on my partner. We each have our reasons for doing what we do.

Always upfront about status and expect then same in return. if its not for you then thats respected. Its a swingers site and I agree I dont understand why some get so uptight about it, If its not for you. Then its not for you."
well i think its good to get this out in the open ,,,,,,,,,,i have been on the other side me mrs ,., a wife so nasty....... you all think you cover your tracks but you dont x

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By *rankOfileMan
over a year ago

France

well you RUN the risk fire with fire and you get burnt, I do understand your point of view, Have been there myself in the past. So i too know what its like. but then as i said we each have our reasons for doing what we do. and if its with consenting adults. I dont see the problem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

end of the day you have to be TRUE TO YOUSELF X

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs

All these cheating a-hole men! Can I ask who is it they are cheating with? How many divources in this country each year and how many where there is the 'other women/man'?

Pontificating about how morally right swinging is compared to leg over sites is absurd! so swinging is about friendship and life style? How many on here only meet for friendship?

So some men cheat and yes one of my of my brother hood cheated with my wife oh hang on she also cheated as well! Yes it hurt and yes there is know way I would consider placing myself in that position as I created a similar thread asking beat advice how to handle a women of here who wanted to meet behind hubby's back..... I listened and re affirmed my own values not to meet and then a second one! % wise of meets I've had that's getting pretty high! It's always going to happen as long as your have the basic needs of sex desire fantasy and choice! So live and let live make your own choices and judgements and be ready to deal with the consiquences,but please don't force them down others throats as being right.....what works for one doesn't work for all.... In danger of doing it myself so I will now shut up.... Oh and before I certain person puts there two penny worth in yes women and couples all cheat behind each others back too..... But I'm not going to start a thread on that subject! lol

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

i choose not to play with married guys playing behind partners back

1) lifes complicate enough ,why go seeking shite to throw at the fan lol !!

2) difficult enough arranging meets with work ect with out factoring in if and when guy can sneek away .

3) why would i want a guy focused more on clock watching then me ,or who jumps at every txt? what a mood killer lol !!

4) i like regular all night sessions not a half hour wham! bam! and gone !

5) i want someone whos honest with me.sorry but if a guy can lie so easy to the person whos ment to be most important in his life ,why would he any problem lieing to me a vertual stranger ?

6)as pointed out by other posters theres plenty of single guys you dont have any of these issues with .

7) karmas a bitch and they WILL get found out (however careful they may THINK theyve been ) .so i dont intend to be caught in the cross fire when all hell breaks loose,which it will . im here for fun not dramas lol !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some dont care if it hurt other only care about there cock the sex .......... its a fix until thay get home see bigger pic , lol and come down to earth x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having myself cheated on my ex wife and the emotional roller coaster it can create for all involved it's something that we wouldn't get involved with.

Each to their own etc, but the upset when people are found out just ain't worth it.

Ironically, Jo is one of the women I met while playing away, so for me it's worked out very good but could of turned out really really bad for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having myself cheated on my ex wife and the emotional roller coaster it can create for all involved it's something that we wouldn't get involved with.

Each to their own etc, but the upset when people are found out just ain't worth it.

Ironically, Jo is one of the women I met while playing away, so for me it's worked out very good but could of turned out really really bad for me.

S. "
you live a learn xxxxxxxxxxx and you learn not to be like them x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't read this thread thoroughly but have we brought up that some people get off on the thrill of cheating?

I have a female friend who "cheats" and it's just sex. We talk about swinging being an experience so maybe that's the buzz some people want to get out of it.

I'm not saying it's right but I thought I'd put it out there.

"ducks for cover..."

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

I must say Fabsters, reading this has heartened me more than any thread I have read on the subject before! There seem to be a lot more people (mainly women and couples, but also some single guys (well done guys) ) stating some sort of opposition to Cheats!

I have long been against Cheats being on this site, it is NOT a sex site although sex is involved, it is a swingers site. In my mind one of the worst things about a free site is the people on it just to cheat!

Fabio, I didn't know you had been cheated on and there was no reason for me to know, but I can now see where you angle on this subject come from.

Polo, Your posts on this thread have been fantastic, you have summed it up way better than I (a mere male) ever could have done. And all without a angry word!

Just something I noticed throughout the thread... Many are being very PC and saying that they don't judge, but they wouldn't play with Cheaters. Well, you have made a judgement already and that judgement is that cheating is not right, or you wouldn't have a problem with it!

Take care folks..x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well said, Sensual Temptress ( 2 hours ago) you have summed it up perfectly xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i choose not to play with married guys playing behind partners back

1) lifes complicate enough ,why go seeking shite to throw at the fan lol !!

2) difficult enough arranging meets with work ect with out factoring in if and when guy can sneek away .

3) why would i want a guy focused more on clock watching then me ,or who jumps at every txt? what a mood killer lol !!

4) i like regular all night sessions not a half hour wham! bam! and gone !

5) i want someone whos honest with me.sorry but if a guy can lie so easy to the person whos ment to be most important in his life ,why would he any problem lieing to me a vertual stranger ?

6)as pointed out by other posters theres plenty of single guys you dont have any of these issues with .

...and there you go! Very well said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I haven't read this thread thoroughly but have we brought up that some people get off on the thrill of cheating?

I have a female friend who "cheats" and it's just sex. We talk about swinging being an experience so maybe that's the buzz some people want to get out of it.

I'm not saying it's right but I thought I'd put it out there.

"ducks for cover..."

No reason to duck for cover, its your opinion and you have a right to say what you want, i just fail to see why someone is in a relationship but still acting like they are single

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I think you are right in a way Rumour, people including us are judgeing wether we play with a married person or not.....but I think what is meant by not judging is, we are not judging what goes on in the married persons life....if they want to play, who are we to argue.

You know what, when I saw the title I though "uh oh, here we go" but this thread has stayed just a normal debate without any anger or insukts, just everyone giving their views calmly...great stuff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rudy thats why when i first see it here saying i will be keeping a close eye on this one as new how alot feel about this. Seen it time and time again it end up nasty ... but this time people have been very open with views and been really good to read how people feel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wont meet cheating men simply because if his wife finds out shes going to be very hurt, kids may be involved, familys split, upset etc and i simple do not want to have played any part in that at all

ok so its him whos cheating but if i meet someone knowing they playing away i feel i am also cheating on his wife

and i dont like the feeling of hurting someone

I dont really care what other people do, people will play away and if thats what they want to do i dont preach to them but i wont have any part in it

I consider myself a nice person and meeting a guy behind his wifes back while shes at home looking after kids thinking hes on a buisness trip to provied for his family is, simply, not a nice thing to do

I dont see any cock will do so long as i get cock because im not that desparate for sex, theres lots of single guys on here to not have to meet cheating ones and still get meets

each to their own but that just my opinion and how i see it

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I have to say I am so impressed by this thread and how "sensible" (I don't think this is the right word.. but i'll go with it for now) people have been... normally this type of thread would turn into a flame throwing nasty thread... but in this people have been calm and reasonable, yet still being able to put there point across in manner that is still effective....

have to say, quite proud right now....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whats your guess of the percentage of the people registered on this site who are cheating or attempting to cheat?

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Whats your guess of the percentage of the people registered on this site who are cheating or attempting to cheat?"

wouldn't even like to open that can of worms....

I would like to say not as many as we would like to think... but I am probably wrong about that

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"Whats your guess of the percentage of the people registered on this site who are cheating or attempting to cheat?"

i am not sure but i have another question.There are sites for people looking for affairs,why dont these married people use them?

Now i can see 2 possible answers,they believe at heart they are "swingers" and belong here...

Or the chances of a shag are higher here.

Anyone else got any thoughts?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whats your guess of the percentage of the people registered on this site who are cheating or attempting to cheat?"

quite a lot i think, id say at least 80% of single guys on here are playing away

i would say quite a lot of single women are too

ive even have couples who are both married to other people message me in the past

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whats your guess of the percentage of the people registered on this site who are cheating or attempting to cheat?

i am not sure but i have another question.There are sites for people looking for affairs,why dont these married people use them?

Now i can see 2 possible answers,they believe at heart they are "swingers" and belong here...

Or the chances of a shag are higher here.

Anyone else got any thoughts?"

because married and cheating sites dont offer the same as swingers site

married and cheating sites offer single looking for other singles, where as swingers sites offers couples, people looking to go to clubs, parties, group sessions etc

maybe the people who are playing away dont want 1 on 1, after all they get that at home

not all cheating people have sexless marrages

they maybe just after someone more exciting but not willing to share their own partner

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Whats your guess of the percentage of the people registered on this site who are cheating or attempting to cheat?

i am not sure but i have another question.There are sites for people looking for affairs,why dont these married people use them?

Now i can see 2 possible answers,they believe at heart they are "swingers" and belong here...

Or the chances of a shag are higher here.

Anyone else got any thoughts?"

It could be that some people like to play with marrieds and probably different than the norm if they play in a group situation.

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

"Whats your guess of the percentage of the people registered on this site who are cheating or attempting to cheat?

i am not sure but i have another question.There are sites for people looking for affairs,why dont these married people use them?

Now i can see 2 possible answers,they believe at heart they are "swingers" and belong here...

Or the chances of a shag are higher here.

Anyone else got any thoughts?

It could be that some people like to play with marrieds and probably different than the norm if they play in a group situation."

Or, not being cynical at all, perhaps it is because “Married but Cheating” sites cost , sometimes, quite a lot of money to join and maintain. Not only that, how do they explain the monthly amount out of the bank account? Fab Swingers is free!!! So apart from the files on their computer, there is nothing. Actually, we now have “Inprivate Browsing” No trace for the ordinary, non tech headed partner…

Or perhaps that IS me being cynical…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I certainly would not give a toss if she was married. Then again...i am a cheatng barsteward myself

I am a man who can say hand on heart that i have said no the women who are in your words "cheating".... and I don't treat men or women differently from that aspect...

I have seen the damage that can be done, I have seen the pain that can be involved....

I don't think it is a sex site... I think it is a swinging site where people consentually have sex.... there is a difference"

Ahhh pass Fab the Oxygen, the air is a bit thin on he moral high ground.....yawn

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Don't lets start a row please by sneering or ridiculing peoples posts.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

Ahhh pass Fab the Oxygen, the air is a bit thin on he moral high ground.....yawn

no moral high ground about it.....

The OP asked a question...

I answered it....

other couples have answered it...

simple as really....

nice of you to point out my reply though, actually the interesting thing is that you didn't answer it... so please tell us your opinion?

it has been actually a really civilised conversation up to now... join in rather than snipe

Fair comment Fab, that was a cheap shot and out of order!

Apologies to all, as you say it was civilised up to my post....

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By *im halpertMan
over a year ago

redditch

what did scorned wife do did she wait outside for him or'storm'inside ?as they dont let just anyone in or did she have the wherewithal to take her id lolol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OK, I'm sure I'll get shot down in flames for this

I am married and play without permission

To any couples or females my opening line, when I contact anyone, is stating just that.

However, we get on extremely well, we have a very comfortable life and I wouldn't want that to change.

I have also, on many occasions, highlighted the hole in the relationship and how it makes me feel and the threat of leaving normally solicits the once every 12 - 18 month event.

I'd love to hear (constructive) opinion

Therapy over

In my eyes you are doing nothing wrong. The realtionship gives you everything you need except sex...so you go elsewhere for it.

I know i may get shot down in flames over this but there is also another old saying Fabio

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her""

Of course he is doing something wrong, he is cheating on her, being deceitful, lying, dishonest, and i hope she finds out because one day she will as at this moment in time, all i see is a feeling of worthlessness towards her, no matter whats been said

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"I am sure everyone knows that it isn't just men who cheat jjohn and why people are debating it and without attacking one gender.

I must be not making myself clear lately, sorry,

What I meant was....this thread isn't talking about just men who cheat, but, it so happens it is a man who started the thread asking questions so why a lot of the answers are aimed at him.

As for DNA tests, they are not being sold just because women can cheat, but also for men who are hoping to get out of paying for a kid so will deny it.

Swings and roundabouts.

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs

"I am sure everyone knows that it isn't just men who cheat jjohn and why people are debating it and without attacking one gender.

I must be not making myself clear lately, sorry,

What I meant was....this thread isn't talking about just men who cheat, but, it so happens it is a man who started the thread asking questions so why a lot of the answers are aimed at him.

As for DNA tests, they are not being sold just because women can cheat, but also for men who are hoping to get out of paying for a kid so will deny it.

Swings and roundabouts."

interesting view point.take it on board.

Strange though how all the men on this morning were continuing to raise the children as theirs and why should they pay if they aren't?

I suppose they should because a one night stand has happened (out on a friday with the girls) and she hasn't a clue as to who the guy is? or wouldn't want him to know its his best mate;neighbor or milkman..lol actually do milk men still exist? lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ahhh i see...so its the sly ones who make out they are single that get up the womens noses?Thats part of it yes when the wife find the msn or his mobile number or even where you live its not nice. Also some here know how it feels having a cheeting wife or husband thay know the pain thay felt and know how it hurt them and family."

The essense of the problem is covered very nicely here. Thanks Jo xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We would never take the chance over a cheating partner, whether husband or wife.

A guy would have to be seriously sloppy to allow that to happen and leave 'a trace'. That is worst case scenario...surely those are very few and far between."

You think?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" No doubt its because i am a cheating bugger who mucks around whilst err indoors reads a book and watches emmerdale

Sod it, I'm going to feed the troll fol-de-rol.

In fact, the thought of cheating tossers getting their come-uppance actually gives me a hardon."

Karma yes, I agree, this is a wonderful thing.

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By *edhotminxWoman
over a year ago

Turn left at the Singing Ringing Tree

I won't play with married men, unless they have their partner's permission. If it isn't disclosed and I later find out, then I won't meet again.

My reasons .... I feel sorry for the wife. She is sat at home thinking her life is all tickedy boo when actually she's living a lie not of her making. Can't imagine the hurt that would make someone feel when they found out, that their life had been a lie for years.

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs

"I won't play with married men, unless they have their partner's permission. If it isn't disclosed and I later find out, then I won't meet again.

My reasons .... I feel sorry for the wife. She is sat at home thinking her life is all tickedy boo when actually she's living a lie not of her making. Can't imagine the hurt that would make someone

feel when they found out, that their life had been

a lie for years.

All though I understand your sentiment why is there an assumption that the "wife" "partner" is sitting at home thinking everything is tickityboo....that's just stereo typing the little women at home with not a care in the world making sure her loving hubby and bread winner is being looked after when clearly he's not well at least in his mind! Surly they are far to busy on face book or at pilates or multi tasking a thousand other things.....feeling sorry for someone you don't even know about isn't possible because he's cheating and not telling you he is married and cheating and it's only after you find out you can feel sorry/anger for the wife stuck at home....why do we cheat? Must be a question that's been asked since the Dawn of time...Some will say man is genetically engineered to spread his seed and women to build a loving nest...others will just say men are barstweards and that's why...... lol oh to be perfect.... Still keep on striving! lol

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

jjohn.... why do you keep turning this into a "married man" discussion... when for the OP he addressed both the situation for Both sexes...

a married person playing away is a married person playing away regardless of whether that be man OR woman...

single guys have answered it for both... couples have answered it for both... yet you seem fixated on the issue of "married man"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single woman I make a choice to not meet married men, not because of moral obligation, but because I don't want to potentially hurt someone I don't know, I don't want the aggro of hearing from someone I don't know and my free time is limited so I would rather increase my chances of a meet by finding a single man...a married man only allowed out once all his lies are lined up.

i don't care whether he is married as that's his job...not mine!

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs

"jjohn.... why do you keep turning this into a "married man" discussion... when for the OP he addressed both the situation for Both sexes...

a married person playing away is a married person playing away regardless of whether that be man OR woman...

single guys have answered it for both... couples have answered it for both... yet you seem fixatedon the issue of "married man""

Are you saying that as a previously married man I cannot respond in that vane? If you had read my last reply properly you would have seen that I understood the response that I was responding to which was defending the poor wife at home and was pointing out u cannot feel sorry for someone if they don't know what's going on and neither does the person playing with the the guy whose cheating....both parties cheat but there seems to be a contnual theme that it's always the guys and I for one dont see why voice can't be heard. I always try to look at things from both sides but I'm very happy to point out when in my view it seems unbalanced, un like some who are happy to sit on the fence and appease both sides at the same time.

Oh and in the opening sentences the OP asks why do so many women take the morale high ground about cheating men....so that in my mind is a view that needs to be explained from both sides. So why do u think so many take the morale high ground?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

note to self...never comment on a thread mid-argument.

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs

"note to self...never comment on a thread mid-argument."

so true

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By *heWolfMan
over a year ago

warwickshire

"what did scorned wife do did she wait outside for him or'storm'inside ?as they dont let just anyone in or did she have the wherewithal to take her id lolol

No, apparently she sat outside in her car,next to his, with her kids, waiting for her husband to emerge, getting angrier by the minute. He knew she was outside - during one of his trips back to his locker to check his phone,he picked up her phone messages to him.

He'd told his mates, she knew them, and they didn't want to leave the place and be confronted by her either. Apparently, some of the big brave men, lips a-quivering, were begging to be let out of the tanning shop at the front, rather than have to step out into the carpark and meet The Howling Fury head-on.

Tossers!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whats your guess of the percentage of the people registered on this site who are cheating or attempting to cheat?

i am not sure but i have another question.There are sites for people looking for affairs,why dont these married people use them?

Now i can see 2 possible answers,they believe at heart they are "swingers" and belong here...

Or the chances of a shag are higher here.

Anyone else got any thoughts?

It could be that some people like to play with marrieds and probably different than the norm if they play in a group situation.

Or perhaps that IS me being cynical…

I don't think it has anything to do with this site being free or another site charging, the percentages on both sites would probably be similar. I think it just reflects society today, anywhere that there is a perception that people can get 'easy' sex will attract people willing to cheat whether it be a pub, a brothel or a website. I'm afraid cheating has been here as long as marriage, it's not going away. I watched a recent video of a women being stoned to death in Afghanistan for cheating, if extremeism still can't irradicate it then I'm certain we never will.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whats your guess of the percentage of the people registered on this site who are cheating or attempting to cheat?

quite a lot i think, id say at least 80% of single guys on here are playing away

i would say quite a lot of single women are too

ive even have couples who are both married to other people message me in the past

80% of men sounds high but if you include 'non marrieds' who are in some kind of a relationship (even just seeing someone) I think you may well be pretty close. Nobody else suggested a figure.

What about the percentage for women?

To start with, most single women profiles seem to actually be married women or at least women in a relationship.

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Blackspice I dissagree.

If the married and cheating sites have a large cost to it and it has to be done by card online which could easily leave a paper trail then yes I am sure those people will choose to come to a free site like this as there is less paper trail behind them.

As for amounts of females cheating, I do agree alot of the single fems on this site are actually married but the husband chooses to watch so they arent single.

The rest of the single fems on here I would say that a larger amount are "very single" and I say that as it relates to those that have maybe been cheated on by their partners or have made a concious decision to stay single for other reasons.

Therre is bound to be some female Barstewards that are also cheating on their partners but as I am not a single male they dont mail me so hard for me to comment on how many their are.

I would love to know other peoples opinions on the fact that are wives less likely to cheat for fear of loosing everything(security/life they leave etc with their husband) or are men less likely to cheat.

My knowledge is there are more men likely to cheat as maybe they dont feel they have the same amount to loose.

If he is working and she is at home with the kids or waorking partime... then maybe his life wouldnt change that much if they split.Only where he lives and how often he visits the kids.

Love to hear everyones opinions on it x

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By *im halpertMan
over a year ago

redditch

"what did scorned wife do did she wait outside for him or'storm'inside ?as they dont let just anyone in or did she have the wherewithal to take her id lolol

Tossers!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" No doubt its because i am a cheating bugger who mucks around whilst err indoors reads a book and watches emmerdale

Sod it, I'm going to feed the troll fol-de-rol.

In fact, the thought of cheating tossers getting their come-uppance actually gives me a hardon."

i know a couple that the husband used to play away and his mrs found out so she basically told him either we do it together or your out, he admitted he didnt like the fact his mrs was fucking other men even tho he had been 'swinging' for years but he did it with her so she didnt leave him, after a few months she met a guy on a site, met him behind her fellas back and left him for the guy taking the kid with her, shes still swinging with her new fella, see her in chams quite regular and the ex...well i havnt see or heard of him for a few years, see if he hd been honest about his sexual needs that could have been him still meeting with his wife, instead he did the usual....noone touching my wife so i'll do it alone thing!

what goes around comes around, never say you'll never get cought

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I don't think women are any less likely to cheat than men... it's just women tend to be more subtle about it and being women, they don't have to go looking... it opportunities generally to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whats your guess of the percentage of the people registered on this site who are cheating or attempting to cheat?

quite a lot i think, id say at least 80% of single guys on here are playing away

i would say quite a lot of single women are too

ive even have couples who are both married to other people message me in the past

80% of men sounds high but if you include 'non marrieds' who are in some kind of a relationship (even just seeing someone) I think you may well be pretty close. Nobody else suggested a figure.

What about the percentage for women?

To start with, most single women profiles seem to actually be married women or at least women in a relationship. "

to me you dont have to be married to be cheating

if you have someone special in your life that your not telling your doing this, thats cheating

I really have no idea about the % of women as i dont meet women, the high figure i guessed about men is based on the amount of men that message

me who are playing away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Blackspice I dissagree.

As for amounts of females cheating, I do agree alot of the single fems on this site are actually married but the husband chooses to watch so they arent single.

Therre is bound to be some female Barstewards that are also cheating on their partners but as I am not a single male they dont mail me so hard for me to comment on how many their are.

My knowledge is there are more men likely to cheat as maybe they dont feel they have the same amount to loose.

If he is working and she is at home with the kids or waorking partime... then maybe his life wouldnt change that much if they split.Only where he lives and how often he visits the kids.

Love to hear everyones opinions on it x"

If it's a pay site designed marketed and made for people who are or want to cheat, then the percentage of it's membership that fit this category will be at least as high as FAB, I personally think higher. The actual membership numbers in total may be smaller, but that will be down to the success of a website.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im married it says it on my profile

its honest and direct no lies or bullshit just honest truth

i appreciate its not everyones ideal but like others have said this ISNT a dating site and for those women ( yes i know it sounds sexist sack me)

who treat it as one (and yes some do ) leave and go to matchmaker or what ever

i believe in safe sex and although some on here dont i prefer to be honest and say im married and wont put my health or my wifes in jeapordy

and one more thing dont be so citical of others because there coud be a reason they dont have sex at home and seek it elsewhere

and while im on a role how many women have had more than a few men off here

there was a name for that too once

remeber people only ever tell u what they want u to know

women and men on here as so much the same

good hunting keep safe and well

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By *im halpertMan
over a year ago

redditch

[Removed by poster at 02/02/11 15:46:26]

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By *im halpertMan
over a year ago

redditch

"[Removed by poster at 02/02/11 15:46:26]"
you have hit the nail on the head there!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and while im on a role how many women have had more than a few men off here

there was a name for that too once

Successful? Attractive? Single?

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

"im married it says it on my profile

its honest and direct no lies or bullshit just honest truth

i appreciate its not everyones ideal but like others have said this ISNT a dating site and for those women ( yes i know it sounds sexist sack me)

who treat it as one (and yes some do ) leave and go to matchmaker or what ever

i believe in safe sex and although some on here dont i prefer to be honest and say im married and wont put my health or my wifes in jeapordy

and one more thing dont be so citical of others because there coud be a reason they dont have sex at home and seek it elsewhere

and while im on a role how many women have had more than a few men off here

there was a name for that too once

remeber people only ever tell u what they want u to know

women and men on here as so much the same

good hunting keep safe and well "

I havent read your profile but nice to see your being honest with a bunch of strangers about being married, well done!

Are you being as honest with your wife the one I will assume you love? If you are then even better, but it doesnt mean your cheating on her as you have consent from your partner. If you havent then sorry but you saying "its honest direct no lies or bullshit.."is not true at all.

I do not know your circumstances but as far as I was aware that this thread was about married cheating partners(men and ladies) not consenting partners that dont swing with the person.

The header "fabswingers" makes it pretty clear that its for swingers, not dating, so I do believe it is pretty clear. For those that come to this site to date they are very much mistaken and in my opinion on the wrong site.

This isnt directed at you now but I am sure there are many reasons why people swing without their wife/husband... and for those that have consent then yes they have morals and do give a monkeys about their other halfs feelings. For those with no consent"cheating" then sorry but that lacks sever morals as the masses of posts on this thread have said.

Everyone chooses their own reason to swing. At least I can honestly say i am huirting no one as am single as in really single as i choose to be that way.

I am one of those women that you also refer to that have "had a few men off here" in actually facty putting in your words I have "had"lots of men and ladies too for that matter. So maybe I should have a name for me, if so then fine. Its called "sexually confident" and also loving sex. I would say to the poster that I have quoted here, so if I am "one of those women" that maybe in the past would have a name for me then I am sorry to say your on the wrong site if you expecting people that are virgins only! But arent you on this site to meet the women that your referring to??

Is it ok to question what they maybe called but then on the other hand still you are on this site to meet them? Isnt that hypercritical? Apologies if I have read this wrong.

I will still to being honest(as in totally honest).

I hope you dont mind me questioning your post but that is what forums are for.

I know nout about you except for the fact you said you are married and the post you have written. If your partner is well aware of your swing life then none of what I have said is relevant.

Safe swinging x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it ok to question what they maybe called but then on the other hand still you are on this site to meet them? Isnt that hypercritical? Apologies if I have read this wrong.

I will still to being honest(as in totally honest).

I hope you dont mind me questioning your post but that is what forums are for.

I know nout about you except for the fact you said you are married and the post you have written. If your partner is well aware of your swing life then none of what I have said is relevant.

Safe swinging x"

I too am 'one of those women' who have 'had lots of men and women from this site. I agree with you we are sexually confident.

Not cheating not sneaking just swinging.

I shudder to think what else we may be called by another so called liberated free thinking swinger.

Double standards stink.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"... and while im on a role how many women have had more than a few men off here

there was a name for that too once

And I still have a name for anyone who has a name for women who enjoy sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've read pretty much all the posts on here and I wanted to ask something...there are quite a few tales on here about women getting abusive, threatening e-mails and phonecalls from the wives of guys they've met under the impression they were single but has anyone received the same kind of contact from furious husbands who've found out their wife has been cheating on them? There doesn't seem to be much evidence of this despite the fact that there are undoubtedly a lot of women on here who are cheating on a partner.

Apologies if I've missed this post somewhere further up the list.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was 18-19 I had an affair with an older woman 30+ and would never be the other guy again, but never really considered the question above.

I think in all honesty it would bother me, but put me in front of a horny semi clad married woman im not surr I could stop myself.

Maybe ill know more if I try, any Married cheating women wanna help me find out? lol

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

Just want to point out that a married woman having sex with her husbands knowledge and consent is not cheating,people seem to be suggesting it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i appreciate its not everyones ideal but like others have said this ISNT a dating site and for those women ( yes i know it sounds sexist sack me)

who treat it as one (and yes some do ) leave and go to matchmaker or what ever"

With your comment ive quoted above its almost like you are saying that a lady can only be on here as a swinger to have sex with married men and if she wont, she should go to a dating site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just want to point out that a married woman having sex with her husbands knowledge and consent is not cheating,people seem to be suggesting it is."

Likewise I've been at a club and a friend gave her husband permission to play with me, she played with my partner who had accompanied me for the evening, all agreed, were happy and consenting. I see no problem with that. xxxx

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I’m going to be honest, not that I haven’t been honest in my previous posts, so I guess honest isn’t the right word and ‘open’ is…. anyway….

When I first discovered the swinging scene many, many moons ago, I too thought ‘it’s not my problem’ if someone is married, after all it’s not like I am planning on keeping them. I even pointed out the potential double standards of people slating married cheating men (and women) who went dogging or to swinging clubs.

But, over time my views have changed, largely due to seeing the behaviour of someone who I thought of as a close friend. Whilst they did break and bend the rules they had agreed with their partner allowing them to have fun away, it was more how they were prepared to lie, mislead and use other people in order to get their bit of cock. As I distanced myself from that situation I re-evaluated my own behaviour.

I had always had my own set of rules:

1 - Be honest with yourself about what you want.

2 - Be honest with those who you meet or intend to meet about what you really want.

3 - Never do anything you don’t really want to in order to make someone else happy.

Having sex with cheats didn’t at first appear to break my rules… until I thought about why I had those rules. The overall aim of the rules is to ensure it is fun and no one gets hurt.

Doing someone which could potential leave someone emotionally shattered, ruin lives and destroy families doesn’t come into my understanding of ‘fun and no one gets hurt’.

Back in the day I didn’t think cheating was the worst thing a person could do to their partner, oddly I still don’t. But it doesn’t make it right.

Some may think I am a hypocrite with double standards as I will admit there are situations, such as playing in a swinging club, where I won’t check if all involved are single or have consent to be there. Some may think this is just a case of ‘ignorance is bliss’ and saying it’s just not practical to check at the time is a feeble excuse. But there is more to it than the practicality and a bit of good faith…. for me it’s about aiding and abetting.

I didn’t ask, invite or encourage those people to be in that club and be in the position they are in. If I arrange to meet someone who isn’t at liberty to be meeting people for sex then I am encouraging them and making their action of cheating possible and for this I must take part responsibility for any consequences.

I liken it to buying a microwave.

If I ask some dodgy bloke down the pub if he can get hold of a cheap microwave for me, and he or one of his mates goes out and robs some old dear, knocking her to the ground and breaking her hip as they run from her bungalow… I have to accept a portion of the responsibility because my need encouraged them to go out and do it.

If I buy a microwave from some fella at a car-boot sale, it is not practical for me to check if he robbed it or not and I have to show some good faith that he didn’t. Even if it is knocked off, I didn’t encourage him to go and rob it.

Some people say “I’m not forcing a married person to cheat” and that may be the case, but by knowingly arranging to meet them, you are making it possible and helping them…. you are part of it.

Who is worse, the crack-head junkie who mugs someone so they can get a fix or the people who helped them become a junkie in the first place,… who no doubt often say “I didn’t force them to become a junkie”.

Me personally, I don’t want the responsibility of aiding and abetting a cheat…. it’s not harmless fun, it does hurt people sooner or later. I don’t have recreational sex to hurt people.

I can only think of two reasons right now why a cheat would not be able to understand why so many people on a swinging site would be opposed to meeting them.

The first is they are either ignorant or stupid… which means their partner will be finding out sooner rather than later.

The second is the common misconception that because swingers (couples) have sex with people other than their partner, they can’t have any morals and any singles who indulge in recreational sex must be immoral too. Which kind of brings it back around to being ignorant and stupid; for not being able to see there is a moral difference between consenting adults who are at liberty to indulge and those who choose to cheat.

If people choose to cheat on their partner it is their own business, but I won’t be helping them.

I don’t believe cheats (or those who help them cheat) should be pounced upon in threads with no relevance to their cheating.

If a cheat is foolhardy enough to post in a thread about cheating, they should not expect a rush of approval just because this is a swinging site….. sexually liberated does not equate to without morals and principles.

If they try and justify their cheating, well in my opinion they deserve everything that gets thrown at them. As I said earlier in the thread, there is no justifiable excuse, if there was they would tell it to their partner and be given permission to play away.

I find the dismissive attitude of “it’s a sex site” a tad offensive; as it makes a huge assumption that everyone on here should have the same lack of respect for other people as they do. Having ‘fun’ doesn’t leave someone sobbing their heart out the next day/week/month/whatever… it’s really that simple.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"I've read pretty much all the posts on here and I wanted to ask something...there are quite a few tales on here about women getting abusive, threatening e-mails and phonecalls from the wives of guys they've met under the impression they were single but has anyone received the same kind of contact from furious husbands who've found out their wife has been cheating on them? There doesn't seem to be much evidence of this despite the fact that there are undoubtedly a lot of women on here who are cheating on a partner.

Apologies if I've missed this post somewhere further up the list."

May be the men take more direct action.... they find out where you live and kick the crap out of you with a few of their mates.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think your definition of why you don't condone married people playing away without their spouses knowledge completely sums it up for most of us Polo. It does for me. xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'd like to thank each and every one of you for making this such an interesting thread!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think your definition of why you don't condone married people playing away without their spouses knowledge completely sums it up for most of us Polo. It does for me. xxx"
Polo do come out with some good posts here and its not me just licking here bum she do. x

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Do you know what?

It would be nice to know that maybe one cheating person would have actually changed their mind about their thoughtless actions and change....but I wont hold my breath

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By *edhotminxWoman
over a year ago

Turn left at the Singing Ringing Tree

" All though I understand your sentiment why is there an assumption that the "wife" "partner" is sitting at home thinking everything is tickityboo....that's just stereo typing the little women at home with not a care in the world making sure her loving hubby and bread winner is being looked after when clearly he's not well at least in his mind! Surly they are far to busy on face book or at pilates or multi tasking a thousand other things.....feeling sorry for someone you don't even know about isn't possible because he's cheating and not telling you he is married and cheating and it's only after you find out you can feel sorry/anger for the wife stuck at home...."

It doesn't matter whether they are sat at home, or working all the hours god sends, if someone (male or female) thinks that their life is tickedy boo and then discovers that their supposed loved one has cheated on them, their world falls apart. Does it matter that the cheating was done as an affair, or a one-off, or swinging, or using the services of an escort - it's still having sex without their partner's permission or knowledge.

Just my personal opinion, but I think Polo summed it up very well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m going to be honest, not that I haven’t been honest in my previous posts, so I guess honest isn’t the right word and ‘open’ is…. anyway….

I had always had my own set of rules:

1 - Be honest with yourself about what you want.

2 - Be honest with those who you meet or intend to meet about what you really want.

3 - Never do anything you don’t really want to in order to make someone else happy.

Having sex with cheats didn’t at first appear to break my rules… until I thought about why I had those rules. The overall aim of the rules is to ensure it is fun and no one gets hurt.

Doing someone which could potential leave someone emotionally shattered, ruin lives and destroy families doesn’t come into my understanding of ‘fun and no one gets hurt’.

Back in the day I didn’t think cheating was the worst thing a person could do to their partner, oddly I still don’t. But it doesn’t make it right.

I liken it to buying a microwave.

Me personally, I don’t want the responsibility of aiding and abetting a cheat…. it’s not harmless fun, it does hurt people sooner or later. I don’t have recreational sex to hurt people.

I can only think of two reasons right now why a cheat would not be able to understand why so many people on a swinging site would be opposed to meeting them.

The first is they are either ignorant or stupid… which means their partner will be finding out sooner rather than later.

If people choose to cheat on their partner it is their own business, but I won’t be helping them.

I don’t believe cheats (or those who help them cheat) should be pounced upon in threads with no relevance to their cheating.

clear and to the point, this should be preserved and pasted into every similar subject post.

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs

possible because he's cheating and not telling

you he is married and cheating and it's only after you find out you can feel sorry/anger for the wife

stuck at home.....

It doesn't matter whether they are sat at home, or

working all the hours god sends, if someone

(male or female) thinks that their life is tickedy boo and then discovers that their supposed loved

one has cheated on them, their world falls apart. Does it matter that the cheating was done as an http://get.ebuddy.com/ affair, or a one-off, or

swinging, or using the services of an escort - it's

still having sex without their partner's permission

or knowledge.

Just my personal opinion, but I think Polo summed it up very well."

Please read all of my responses to this topic and use the whole passage so you don't take things out of context is regarding the morale high ground as in in OP's question. Cheers

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