FabSwingers.com forum: Dating a Non Swinger

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm going on a date tomorrow with a fella who I met in a pub under non swinger circumstances... Question is, do I tell him about being on Fab? Do I test the water and hint to see what his thoughts are about stuff like this? or do I keep my gob shut for now?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

first date........ would say nowt x

hope it goes great and you have a lovely time xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

humm its a diffiecult one, personally i wouldnt tell someone about coming on here untill i trusted them not to tell other and that wouldnt be on a first date, but the thing is when do you tell them? because the longer you leave it the harder it is to fit it into the convo

saying that i suppose it depends on what you want out of the relationship, assuming it gets that far, if your not planning on carrying on swinging if you settle down i dont suppose you need to tell them at all

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

thank you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went on a date for the first time in over five years on Tuesday. The fact I accepted the date still surprises me and for once I'm confused and unsure.

He knows I like sub men that has been raised over the months but not the fact I have several men I play with, and several more I may do.

We've had one date, I didn't think it necessary to "spill the beans". I'll play it by ear but I have a feeling I'll never tell.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally if i were single I wouldn't look at it as 'dating a non swinger'. I'd be tempted to think of it as 'dating'

and keep shtum for now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

advice from one lady to another....say feck all !!! you have no idea what his thoughts on this lifestyle might be , he may be shocked beyond belief , or worse, nod politely and then go tell all and sundry about your little hobby !!

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

It's a first date.

If the conversation goes the right way then a few subtle question are in order to test the water... but it's not like you are starting a relationship yet is it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldnt say a word get to know him a little better. Find out his _iews on sex first. If he is open to some of the things you like. Then add a little more along the way... Good luck!...xx

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

It's not a secret for me. I wouldn't necessarily volunteer it to someone I'd only just met, although I have done in the past, but I certainly wouldn't lie about it.

I'm probably too honest for my own good though.

Do what feels right for you. Hope you have fun.

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

If it were me I'd not be mentioning it during a first date. I'd also avoid talking about my favourite sexual position, when I last had an appointment at the GUM clinic (and the fact they know me by my first name and even send me Xmas cards!) and the circumstances under which I lost my wristwatch.

Keep those details for the 2nd or 3rd date

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By *nnTonCouple
over a year ago

birmingham

ROFL at the wristwatch!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldnt say anything on a first date.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Myself, if I were a vanilla single male, I'd rather a woman told me first off before I had a chance to fall head over heels.

It would be a lot harder to get my head around once I'd fallen for her.

On the plus side, he might show extreme interest, even be wondering the best time to tell you he's a swinger too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I agree with that too, swinging is something that is not accepted by all. It would be wrong to build a relationship but "forget" to tell him or her about the wild sex parties, the dvp, the orgies, the threesomes and moresomes. As a hobby it has a slightly bigger impact than golf. Whilst noone should be ashamed of their past sexual habits, have to accept really that some who are not in this lifestyle find it distasteful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On a first date... no i would get the feel for this man and things he like and things he dont like first ... You never know you may not wish to see him again as not for you ...... or if 2nd date just go with the flow ... you should know yourself if its right or not to tell him after you have got to know him .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well, the date was rubbish, so I didnt have the dilemma....

I would like to meet someone special at some point but no point worrying about it all now xx Back to the fun and carefree frolicking xx

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

"Well, the date was rubbish, so I didnt have the dilemma....

I would like to meet someone special at some point but no point worrying about it all now xx Back to the fun and carefree frolicking xx"

This raises another question, would you consider dating a fellow swinger. Ok this is not a dating site, but it would be no more unusual than dating a one night stand from a night club after a string of one night stands.

I guess you could see it as swingers being professional one night standers, where as those who go to nightclubs are amature by comparison.

The only difference I see is that swingers can fuck around whilst sobber and don't get into fights in Taxi ranks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

keep your gob shut ! I NEVER TELL ANYONE OUTSIDE OF SWINGING ! wot i get up to . but had a x partner off here who thought she would inform all my family ! keep your mouth shut love . and good luck , FRANKIE X

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