FabSwingers.com forum: Too much chat...

By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago

North Cambs

Looking back I have found that the vast majority of my fab meets have come about after relatively little chat. Successful encounters with genuine people usually result after a few messages and an exchange of WhatsApp, kik or phone numbers at the point of finalizing details.

Generally, when communication becomes drawn out and endless messages bounce back and forth over a period of time, I find the chances of a meet ever actually taking place are pretty remote.

Do others find the same?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I quite like chatting, I get to know people that way and it helps decide if I do want to meet them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

No we don't but we're all different.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

Yep, I find those who chat and mail loads never seem to meet. I don't mean dirty talk, those I just ignore anyway it isn't my thing, I prefer to act it out rather than chat it out.

I get the impression that the fact that they are on a swingers site, mailing a swinger and looking at nuddie pics is naughty enough for them.

To each their own I guess.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago

North Cambs

"I quite like chatting, I get to know people that way and it helps decide if I do want to meet them

Sure, a bit of a chat is good....but usually it becomes pretty clear if a meet is mutually desirable fairly early on..doesn't it? Then its just a question of scheduling...especially if a bit of a roadtrip is required

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ery curious maleMan
over a year ago

Bishop Auckland

I think a lot of people are really on here to chat rather than meet.

It's a fantasy for them.

I have had the same experience as you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. Without talking for a while I can't get a feel for someone or know if I want to meet them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find if you have not meet in 7 days you never will

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Looking back I have found that the vast majority of my fab meets have come about after relatively little chat. Successful encounters with genuine people usually result after a few messages and an exchange of WhatsApp, kik or phone numbers at the point of finalizing details.

Generally, when communication becomes drawn out and endless messages bounce back and forth over a period of time, I find the chances of a meet ever actually taking place are pretty remote.

Do others find the same?"

Indeed

It's TCR here and I do most of the chatting

I do say to people we can't meet straight away and keep in touch but some people want infinite details etc

Get to the point where I am bored

I make note on profile and say no ta not for us...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

I totally agree. If I want to meet someone I will do it asap. I'm not interested in spending weeks getting to know someone first.

I've actually said to people before now that although they seem nice etc if we were going to meet we would have done so by now...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago

North Cambs

"I find if you have not meet in 7 days you never will"

I haven't found that to be the case....especially with busy people and difficult scheduling, however, plans are drawn up pretty damn quickly for the most part

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

"I find if you have not meet in 7 days you never will"

I don't know....

That's way too ridged for me!

If it moves from here to some sort of IM, it's more likely...

Then I have a few I chat to in here, we know distance and life is a barrier, but we chat now and then and I'm sure if we are in the vicinity, we would meet...

But I don't have hard lines, what happens happens, just cause something fizzled out before, doesn't mean it's not worth revisiting later...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago

North Cambs

"I find if you have not meet in 7 days you never will

I don't know....

That's way too ridged for me!

If it moves from here to some sort of IM, it's more likely...

Then I have a few I chat to in here, we know distance and life is a barrier, but we chat now and then and I'm sure if we are in the vicinity, we would meet...

But I don't have hard lines, what happens happens, just cause something fizzled out before, doesn't mean it's not worth revisiting later..."

^^ agreed

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

One instance, I have been chatting to someone off and on for 3 weeks now, she really wants to meet, she's been very open about what her desires are (a sure fire signal!! In my opinion), but work has got in the way for two weeks and I go to Canada on Wednesday!

Although she said she'd come with!!

But alas only in jest!

So will be at least 1 month from first contact before we could possibly meet and I can feel her frustration, but it will happen...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Generally, when communication becomes drawn out and endless messages bounce back and forth over a period of time, I find the chances of a meet ever actually taking place are pretty remote.

Do others find the same?"

Yes. More chat, less chance of a meet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree. It is mostly chat and many are dreaming about the sex meet lol.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We like to exchange more than a few messages on here to get a 'feel' for people. When a good banter and exchange of ideas and subjects starts, we know that there's an interesting person or couple behind the keyboard, which could leave to some fun behind closed doors [or cars!], but we don't assume things could happen.

We don't expect to meet people immediately after contact on the site, as everyone has a different 'style' and work/play ratio. When it does happen, that's good!

With some people, we know we will meet at some point and in the meantime, we enjoy the message exchanges. With others, we can tell that we won't be meeting. One or the other party fizzles out with messages and there's no hard feelings.

Some of our message ping pong is rapid and ultimately, meaningless, but fun at the time.

On occasion, we've gone on cam in the Midlands Swingers room and had chats, but we're not compulsive about it. We had an impromtu social meet as a result one week, but it doesn't look like we'll hook up again, alas.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find if you have not meet in 7 days you never will"

People that want endless chat before meeting bore me. I prefer to meet very early, assess compatibility then go from there.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I totally agree. If I want to meet someone I will do it asap. I'm not interested in spending weeks getting to know someone first.

I've actually said to people before now that although they seem nice etc if we were going to meet we would have done so by now... "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

While I agree there are a lot of people on here who have no intention of meeting, single men, females and couples, the people I have met have all been different.

I have had the instant message and meet, but the vast majority there have always been several messages exchanged before even a social. And some I chat to, I probably will never meet due to distance etc.

I do agree that perhaps those who are only here to chat should perhaps say so, but there are many things the same could be said of.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

"I find if you have not meet in 7 days you never will

People that want endless chat before meeting bore me. I prefer to meet very early, assess compatibility then go from there. "

But you would time bound it?

I have met people from NY, Arizona, Singapore, Northen Ireland, Australia and Finland though sites like this...

Now maybe I'm attracted to people from different cultures and this makes me curious, but usually we chat a bit, then simply stay in touch, it may be a year before we meet and it's never not been worth it...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

I don't put a time scale on how long it's takes for me to feel comfortable and safe meeting . It depends on the individual and how open they are and how often they converse . If they fire a couple of messages and then disappear for a week then I'm not going to be discussing a meet then when they mail after that .

Some times there's a rapport fairly quick ,others take abit longer .Other times there's things that suddenly come up in normal conversation that are an immediate halt to anything further .

I've always found taking time and going with my gut instinct always worked well for me . How many that go in to meets with little conversation are then complaining about no shows ??

End of the day do what best works for you and let others do what works for them . Also respect any difference and not exspect to go changing it . Hopefully somewhere in the middle you'll get folks where it will work for both parties.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find if you have not meet in 7 days you never will

People that want endless chat before meeting bore me. I prefer to meet very early, assess compatibility then go from there.

But you would time bound it?

I have met people from NY, Arizona, Singapore, Northen Ireland, Australia and Finland though sites like this...

Probably 3 weeks absolute maximum. Anything longer than that and it won't happen. (For me.)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We like to try and meet for a social fairly early into any conversations because we find it the best way of deciding whether we want to take things further. Having said that, real life takes precedence and we understand the scheduling nightmare that can ensue when trying to coordinate diaries. We once had a social where the chance of meeting to play wouldn't arise for 3 months, but when it did happen, it was certainly worth waiting for!

There's a huge difference between exchanging chatty messages on here to establish mutual interests and "chat" which most people seem to want from here...We just don't bother with that because it seems that people who are really into that never actually get out from behind their screen and meet in the flesh, so to speak. As soon as someone asks if we have kik we guarantee any communication dries up when we say no...no matter how keen they appeared beforehand...no great loss in the end, and we'd rather know beforehand before we invest any more time getting to know them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

Generally, when communication becomes drawn out and endless messages bounce back and forth over a period of time, I find the chances of a meet ever actually taking place are pretty remote.

Do others find the same?"

For me, I never meet without getting to know the woman reasonably well. I'd never meet up without having a reasonable idea of what the person is like, not even socially.

I'd say, this time period is usually about 2 weeks. The longer, the better. If it's meant to happen, it happens. If not, no worries!

I've learnt that I'm really fussy though for a guy. I'm probably a bit weird. But I'm happy!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

Generally, when communication becomes drawn out and endless messages bounce back and forth over a period of time, I find the chances of a meet ever actually taking place are pretty remote.

Do others find the same?"

Yes, the more chat there is beforehand the less secure the person who instigates the chat and the less chance of a good meet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Usually like couple of messages to arrange a social. If goes well either play on social or arrange another time .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I prefer to chat to someone before I meet them and sometimes it's been months but if we are both interested in sex with each other, we keep chatting till we can arrange something. Real life gets in the way of instant meets quite a lot.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't do instant meets.. So if people didnt chat for over a week I'd never meet

I have people who have been on my list to meet since I started this new profile... I still want to meet them.. But if I met everyone instantly I'd be at it 24/7...not practical

Everyone does it different

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *r H and Good PetCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

I'm this.

I've said on many an occasion "Sorry, but we've chatted for too long now and I've lost all interest in meeting". Lol. Hate chatting. Esp when guys are like "Hey" or "u ok", every freaking day or few days. I just want to yell at them "YOU BETTER HAVE A TIME AND PLACE YOU WANT TO FUCK ME, OTHERWISE GTFO" lol

I like to say hi, book a date, fuck.

lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

"I can't do instant meets.. So if people didnt chat for over a week I'd never meet

I have people who have been on my list to meet since I started this new profile... I still want to meet them.. But if I met everyone instantly I'd be at it 24/7...not practical

Everyone does it different "

You are on my list!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sianmale89Man
over a year ago

Stockport

......erm okay then reading this thread has been a bit off an eye opener, guess I should stop mailing people who I keep in touch with on here a whole lot less all together.

..probably explains quite a bit then, I dunno what to say though usually the women who I message like to talk with me? kind off conflicted here?

....I've said too much better exit this thread asap

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't do instant meets.. So if people didnt chat for over a week I'd never meet

I have people who have been on my list to meet since I started this new profile... I still want to meet them.. But if I met everyone instantly I'd be at it 24/7...not practical

Everyone does it different

You are on my list!"

You're on mine

.. And we don't chat everyday do we .. Just need to get your ass up north

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *addubMan
over a year ago

dublin. 12

Not enough people in dublin on this who want to meet guys on their own, we need to push the site more, as for sending messages most do not bother replying singles or couples, a simple no thanks would at least let us know they have read the message.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

"I can't do instant meets.. So if people didnt chat for over a week I'd never meet

I have people who have been on my list to meet since I started this new profile... I still want to meet them.. But if I met everyone instantly I'd be at it 24/7...not practical

Everyone does it different

You are on my list!

You're on mine

.. And we don't chat everyday do we .. Just need to get your ass up north

I just need one long weekend.... I feel you might be a feast!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We can't always meet quickly due to real life commitments so sometimes we have chatted for a while before meeting. Plus also had time between social and a play meet. Just the way it's panned out at times.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't do instant meets.. So if people didnt chat for over a week I'd never meet

I have people who have been on my list to meet since I started this new profile... I still want to meet them.. But if I met everyone instantly I'd be at it 24/7...not practical

Everyone does it different

You are on my list!

You're on mine

.. And we don't chat everyday do we .. Just need to get your ass up north

I just need one long weekend.... I feel you might be a feast!"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Generally, when communication becomes drawn out and endless messages bounce back and forth over a period of time, I find the chances of a meet ever actually taking place are pretty remote.

Do others find the same?"
yes I do but some prefer to take time to get to know you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to chat. Being a single mum to younger kids, with no help & running my own business my free time, even for social meets is as rare as rocking horse shit. Meeting for naughty fun can take weeks of planning as I have very socialble parents, who are out alot & unable to have the kids It's what works for the individual/couple.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"A gentleman is just a patient wolf"

I've been through the 'hot chat for a few days then meet while it's still steamy' phase, but now I am actively trying not to meet more new people than I need to, I'd rather avoid disappointment and chat long enough to be sure we are compatible. If someone cannot engage me over email, I'm not sure they could in person.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I quite like chatting, I get to know people that way and it helps decide if I do want to meet them

what she said - I need to like the person not just about sex - "tease my mind not just my body"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *odramafunCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire/staffordshire

Generally, when communication becomes drawn out and endless messages bounce back and forth over a period of time, I find the chances of a meet ever actually taking place are pretty remote.

Do others find the same?"

We like chatting but have found the same.... Our best meet was spontaneous with someone who doesn't stand out from profile but messages were succinct and honest... And is now a good friend... Lots of messages over weeks tends to result in no meet.. But we go with the flow x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

I prefer to chat several days to get a feel for each other. Without exception I have found sex is better when the people involved know each other a bit.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

I prefer chatting, I get to know the person. I am always nervous before meeting, so the more I know the person the more relaxed I will be at the meeting.

Sadly not everyone shares this idea as me, that's what block lists are for.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Generally, when communication becomes drawn out and endless messages bounce back and forth over a period of time, I find the chances of a meet ever actually taking place are pretty remote.

Do others find the same?"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aeriequeenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

I've happily had a mixture. One after we'd chatted 2 hours I went on to meet fairly often.

Another guy I met recently after being in touch over a year but because of distance we hadn't.

I don't think there are any rules to it just whatever works for you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mokes n MirrorsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth and Newcastle (sometimes)

"I quite like chatting, I get to know people that way and it helps decide if I do want to meet them

Sometimes we can't find the time when we're both free so if they're not prepared to have a chat while waiting then we won't bother meeting. I don't mean daily essays either...A chatty/funny reminder every now and again means you're near the top of the list and still in the running

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A wise person once told me, people on here are either chatters or meeters! Rarely both!

Although a big generalisation I have found it to be true!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

yep; "wanna f**k?" does it for me each and every time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not been my experience - but then I'm someone who probably tests people to the limit of how much they are prepared to chat. There's people I was chatting to on and off for six months, a year even, before we got the opportunity to meet. Not constant, and certainly not sex chat (which I find a bit cringe) but just general shooting the shit for a while. I've much preferred those meets, where I felt I knew them a little bit, than ones where we've met effectively cold after just a very short period of messaging.

Different strokes for different folks

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread