FabSwingers.com forum: affair or adultery or ???

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Cheating & the happy marriage - a new understanding of adultery ---- newspaper article in The Times 23.1 16

I found this article enlightening espec as it explains the New Kinsey research whyhhappily married couples seek connection with chance encounters .

A lot of it is to do with our DNA 334 vasopressin allele.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

My DNA made me do it so it's not my fault I cheated?

Oh please. If you're going to do it, do it, but at least take responsibility for it like an adult.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

but some affairs can be good as long asthere is good comunication between the two people involved To listen to the whole reason rather than cutting it short

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By *exycouplesswingCouple
over a year ago

Tunbridge Wells

By default there are three people involved in an affair.. At least one is going to get very hurt...

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"but some affairs can be good as long asthere is good comunication between the two people involved To listen to the whole reason rather than cutting it short

More excuses as far as I am concerned.

If you're going to cheat, get on with it. Don't try to justify it.

If there was a good enough reason that would justify it, the cheater would raise it with their committed partner first and wouldn't need to cheat.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

agreed but the article points out that most couples happily married would never cross that line but a chance encounter does happen about 46% women and 57% men have affairs in the normal run of life

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

You say "chance encounter" as though people somehow cheat accidentally

More excuses.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

no excuses just a fact of life.

It can happen in reality as well as in the mind aka head. how many couples during making love together think imagine of another sexual pleasure????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"By default there are three people involved in an affair.. At least one is going to get very hurt...

Very true

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"By default there are three people involved in an affair.. At least one is going to get very hurt...

Very true"

But it's accidental due to "chance encounters" and all the fault of DNA. Oh, and just a fact of life.

Poor cheaters, it's not their fault. With all that against them how could they avoid it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love the virtuous!

People have been having affairs since day for, sorry it's human nature, I couldn't care less if someone wants to look down on me I bet if i micro scoped their life I could easily do the same to them, just not that pious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone wants to cheat they will ,just be honest and don't hide behind stupid lies or excuses

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Notice you can't accommodate, guess you are just trying to say its not your fault you are cheating on your partner then

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I love the virtuous!

I'm happy to let them get on with it and say nothing, as long as they don't try to involve me in it. It's the attempts to justify it and blame DNA, sunspots and everything but oneself that is irksome.

Cheats would get far less criticism if they just got on with it, quietly, and didn't keep drawing attention to it by trying to justify it.

Would the innocent party/parties that get hurt think it's justifiable? I doubt it. So trying to justify it to a bunch of strangers is ridiculous. If the cheat(s) don't care what the person they are supposed to love thinks, why worry what anyone else thinks?

Plus "it's not my fault, my DNA made me do it" is the most absurd excuse I've heard in a while. As is the suggestion that it comes down to "chance encounters", as if such things can't be resisted.

If you're going to do it, do it. If you're going to start threads trying to justify it, don't expect everyone to agree.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

thank you for sharing your honesty -- I am not trying to be judgemental I am offering the newspaper article that says an affair is not adultery?

And nearly half the population are in this special situation .

I have met and enjoyed and would againsshould it occur m m

this is the joy of being a member of f abswingers and making contact with other like minded honest folk.

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By *aneandpaulCouple
over a year ago

cleveleys

we have never cheated on each other done every thing together thats why our marriage is so strong and happy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cheating & the happy marriage - a new understanding of adultery ---- newspaper article in The Times 23.1 16

I found this article enlightening espec as it explains the New Kinsey research whyhhappily married couples seek connection with chance encounters .

A lot of it is to do with our DNA 334 vasopressin allele. "

Can't read the article without a subscription. What does it say?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having not read the article i get the feeling something is being misrepresented here.

Going from a gene to, behavioural expression is such a leap at this point it's almost akin to reading the guts of a goat to predict the weather.

While large studies and metadata analysis of other studies could possibly give some hints/a general trend. Proving causality would be near impossible.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Having not read the article i get the feeling something is being misrepresented here.

Going from a gene to, behavioural expression is such a leap at this point it's almost akin to reading the guts of a goat to predict the weather.

While large studies and metadata analysis of other studies could possibly give some hints/a general trend. Proving causality would be near impossible.

I just went to check and my goat entrails say today will be cold but bright.

Now, how do I get goat blood stains out of my living room rug. That's my next conundrum.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Cheating & the happy marriage - a new understanding of adultery ---- newspaper article in The Times 23.1 16

I found this article enlightening espec as it explains the New Kinsey research whyhhappily married couples seek connection with chance encounters .

A lot of it is to do with our DNA 334 vasopressin allele.

Can't read the article without a subscription. What does it say?"

I'm not paying £12 for a subscription to read it either.

The gist, looking at other sources referring to it, and the research, seems to be that even people in good, happy relationships have affairs and that an affair does not necessarily indicate problems in a relationship.

I suspect that's not actually news to a lot of people. Some people cheat, even though they're happy at home, for various reasons, (they want excitement, they just want more sex, they can etc).

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I also very much doubt it says half the population are in "this special situation".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"thank you for sharing your honesty -- I am not trying to be judgemental I am offering the newspaper article that says an affair is not adultery?

And nearly half the population are in this special situation .

I have met and enjoyed and would againsshould it occur m m

this is the joy of being a member of f abswingers and making contact with other like minded honest folk."

As you say this is fabswingers..... Not fabadulterers!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cheating & the happy marriage - a new understanding of adultery ---- newspaper article in The Times 23.1 16

I found this article enlightening espec as it explains the New Kinsey research whyhhappily married couples seek connection with chance encounters .

A lot of it is to do with our DNA 334 vasopressin allele.

Can't read the article without a subscription. What does it say?

I'm not paying £12 for a subscription to read it either.

I suspect that's not actually news to a lot of people. Some people cheat, even though they're happy at home, for various reasons, (they want excitement, they just want more sex, they can etc)."

Yeah that's not news. Blaming it on DNA etc is cowardly. The amount of times people 'accidentally' have affairs by pure coincidence.. bless their little cotton socks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cheating & the happy marriage - a new understanding of adultery ---- newspaper article in The Times 23.1 16

I found this article enlightening espec as it explains the New Kinsey research whyhhappily married couples seek connection with chance encounters .

A lot of it is to do with our DNA 334 vasopressin allele.

Can't read the article without a subscription. What does it say?

I'm not paying £12 for a subscription to read it either.

I suspect that's not actually news to a lot of people. Some people cheat, even though they're happy at home, for various reasons, (they want excitement, they just want more sex, they can etc).

Yeah that's not news. Blaming it on DNA etc is cowardly. The amount of times people 'accidentally' have affairs by pure coincidence.. bless their little cotton socks.

Im starting to think little cotton socks are the cause of all the worlds evils

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cheating & the happy marriage - a new understanding of adultery ---- newspaper article in The Times 23.1 16

I found this article enlightening espec as it explains the New Kinsey research whyhhappily married couples seek connection with chance encounters .

A lot of it is to do with our DNA 334 vasopressin allele.

Can't read the article without a subscription. What does it say?

I'm not paying £12 for a subscription to read it either.

I suspect that's not actually news to a lot of people. Some people cheat, even though they're happy at home, for various reasons, (they want excitement, they just want more sex, they can etc).

Yeah that's not news. Blaming it on DNA etc is cowardly. The amount of times people 'accidentally' have affairs by pure coincidence.. bless their little cotton socks.

Im starting to think little cotton socks are the cause of all the worlds evils "

True fact.

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

"but some affairs can be good as long asthere is good comunication between the two people involved To listen to the whole reason rather than cutting it short

Try telling that to my sons

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not read the article, sounds like it's saying some people just want it all! That's nothing new, like others said, affairs have been going on for time eternal.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

will read the article once I have mounted my high horse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"thank you for sharing your honesty -- I am not trying to be judgemental I am offering the newspaper article that says an affair is not adultery?

And nearly half the population are in this special situation .

Perhaps they should swing then? - have the sex but ditch the lies...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If someone wants to cheat they will ,just be honest and don't hide behind stupid lies or excuses "

Also I have no sympathy for them only the innocent people involved ..partners /kids.

Not on my high horse just witnessed first hand damage it can cause .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope I dont get shot down in flames, but... I do think that some people are more pre-disposed to being unfaithful than others. Just like some people are more pre-disposed to becoming addicted to some things. Whether it be alcohol, drugs, food or gambling.

Maybe there is something that gives people this trait of having an addictive personallity or wanting to have affairs.

I am certainly not saying they should use it as an excuse to go out and have sex with countless people. Some people can obviously control the urge, where some can not.

And I do come from a family where adultery has run long and hard through it. Both of my parents, siblings, uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents, great grand parent. So it does make you wonder. And the people who have been unfaithful have all have some kind of addictive personallity trait.

I sometimes wonder if we had not decided to dip our toes into swinging, would I have gone the same way?

Hope Ive not ruffled too may feather.

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By *avebabeWoman
over a year ago

Bromsgrove

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By *avebabeWoman
over a year ago

Bromsgrove

I agree. I think some people get an adrenaline rush from cheating. Doing something they shouldn't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this is the joy of being a member of f abswingers and making contact with other like minded honest folk."

Honest folk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"thank you for sharing your honesty -- I am not trying to be judgemental I am offering the newspaper article that says an affair is not adultery?

And nearly half the population are in this special situation .

I have met and enjoyed and would againsshould it occur m m

this is the joy of being a member of f abswingers and making contact with other like minded honest folk."

When I last looked at a dictionary, an affair was adultery. Yes, some people are more predisposed to adultery than others. It may well be that DNA has a part to play but people also have the ability to use self-restraint to curtail their predispositions.

I have no axe to grind on the issue of cheating and I have met people who are married. But please do not play the honesty card. No definition of the word "honesty" can be found to describe your situation from your partner's _iewpoint.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

when I have main computer back from the cleaners for virus check - I will write the salient points of that article.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

do tell advise me --- on meeting with a fab guy for sexual pleasures together ---- is it an affair/adultery??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"but some affairs can be good as long asthere is good comunication between the two people involved To listen to the whole reason rather than cutting it short

Try telling that to my sons "

My son too though perhaps slightly different to what you are suggesting as his ex suddenly decided she didn't want him any more and rather than tell him, she took the cowardly way out and cheated on him with 3 lads, that may potentially be 4. Wasn't nice having him turn up at 3am telling me so no cheating isn't nice, not that they care

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

sometimes the revenge desire brainstorm goes to extraordinary lengths to achieve orgasms with willing folks

normality disappears and regrets follow in the morning!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Afternoon ladies. You ladies are right if your gonna cheat just be big and admit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One person gets hurt its better to leave and do what you want

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