FabSwingers.com forum: Manners

By *ercedes_SLK OP Man
over a year ago

nottingham

I grow increasingly exacerbated on this site with the lack of basic manners from members.

Topics that are my top hits

Singles not showing for meets

Members not responding to messages and just deleting when a simple 'no thanks' would suffice.......

On the whole, you wouldn't act like this face to face (or maybe some would) so why think it's acceptable online?

What bugs other members

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I grow increasingly exacerbated on this site with the lack of basic manners from members.

Topics that are my top hits

Singles not showing for meets

Members not responding to messages and just deleting when a simple 'no thanks' would suffice.......

On the whole, you wouldn't act like this face to face (or maybe some would) so why think it's acceptable online?

What bugs other members"

I grow increasingly exacerbated with the sense of entitlement displayed by strangers on here.

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By *ilmiss75Woman
over a year ago

Thornton

Where messages are concerned... No one owes anyone anything.

I never reply to anyone I'm not interested in.

Reason - 9/10 times they haven't read my profile.

I get a large amount of interest/messages from Attached, bi curious and bisexual men. The opening line on my profile states... Single Straight Guys Only.

So why should I waste my time replying to anyone who doesn't read?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

people whinging about manners.

people with expectations whinging about not having those expectations met because other people have their own expectations....

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By *bovethekneeCouple
over a year ago

Hampshire / Herefordshire

To be honest, just people whinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"people whinging about manners.

people with expectations whinging about not having those expectations met because other people have their own expectations....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All of the above

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

Have the good manners to read the rules and FAQs of a sit when you join it may help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I grow increasingly exacerbated on this site with the lack of basic manners from members.

Topics that are my top hits

Singles not showing for meets

Members not responding to messages and just deleting when a simple 'no thanks' would suffice.......

On the whole, you wouldn't act like this face to face (or maybe some would) so why think it's acceptable online?

What bugs other members"

Some women get too many messages to read and respond to so just bulk delete. It happens to all of us so don't take it personally.

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By *ercedes_SLK OP Man
over a year ago

nottingham

This isn't a whinge, it's a statement of fact....

I do not have any expectations as far as this site is concerned nor am I self righteous. Those who know and have met me will back this.

I fully appreciate female and couple members must get snowed under with messages and I accept a large proportion of these are from cretins...........

My point is not aimed solely at messages, but also those that give genuine folk a bad rep as we tend to get tarred with the same brush.......

If I have taken the time to read what are at times long profiles and are compliant with all their needs (looks being the exception as a pic is generally sent with the message) should I not at least expect some manners in a response?

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By *ercedes_SLK OP Man
over a year ago

nottingham

"I grow increasingly exacerbated on this site with the lack of basic manners from members.

Topics that are my top hits

Singles not showing for meets

Members not responding to messages and just deleting when a simple 'no thanks' would suffice.......

On the whole, you wouldn't act like this face to face (or maybe some would) so why think it's acceptable online?

What bugs other members

I grow increasingly exacerbated with the sense of entitlement displayed by strangers on here."

Are we not all strangers on here?

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By *ercedes_SLK OP Man
over a year ago

nottingham

"Where messages are concerned... No one owes anyone anything.

I never reply to anyone I'm not interested in.

Reason - 9/10 times they haven't read my profile.

I get a large amount of interest/messages from Attached, bi curious and bisexual men. The opening line on my profile states... Single Straight Guys Only.

So why should I waste my time replying to anyone who doesn't read?"

Absolutely fully expected. And that is part of the problem I feel

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By *ercedes_SLK OP Man
over a year ago

nottingham

"people whinging about manners.

people with expectations whinging about not having those expectations met because other people have their own expectations....

Expectations & manners

Surely these are mutually exclusive?

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

Flagrante

"I grow increasingly exacerbated on this site with the lack of basic manners from members.

Members not responding to messages and just deleting when a simple 'no thanks' would suffice.......

We always respond to messages and were asked this week why we had responded if we weren't interested!!....you can't please everyone.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

People with no common sense people who don't read or check your profile before messaging and make assumptions

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By *iggles and BeardyCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Sorry we simply don't reply to single guys, who send one line messages and blatantly haven't read that we only meet single guys in a club if wiggles fancies it at time.

If it's rude to not answer them meh, as if we do it just seems to be taken as "ohh they answered, it was a no but an answer, so may as well keep sending more messages"

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By *ercedes_SLK OP Man
over a year ago

nottingham

"To be honest, just people whinging."

Whinge or statement of fact

I'm coming across more and more profiles of women and couples stating a meet hasn't turned up - is this not the same thing?

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By *wosWoman
over a year ago

east london

Just had 2 2word messages from a guy ...answered in kind...

3rd message says I don't say much !

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I grow increasingly exacerbated on this site with the lack of basic manners from members.

Topics that are my top hits

Singles not showing for meets

Members not responding to messages and just deleting when a simple 'no thanks' would suffice.......

On the whole, you wouldn't act like this face to face (or maybe some would) so why think it's acceptable online?

What bugs other members"

Threads where people complain

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By *ercedes_SLK OP Man
over a year ago

nottingham

"Have the good manners to read the rules and FAQs of a sit when you join it may help "

Fully abreast of the FAQ's and site rules thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"people whinging about manners.

people with expectations whinging about not having those expectations met because other people have their own expectations....

Expectations & manners

Surely these are mutually exclusive?"

Obviously they aren't else you wouldn't be moaning about not getting yours met.

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

My point is not aimed solely at messages, but also those that give genuine folk a bad rep as we tend to get tarred with the same brush.......

Ahhh! I knew it!

That weary old argument is at the core of it..all those bad rude guys who are ruining your chances and reputation on here...

Blame them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

".....

On the whole, you wouldn't act like this face to face (or maybe some would) so why think it's acceptable online?

..."

Think of it as a lucky escape.

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By *ercedes_SLK OP Man
over a year ago

nottingham

"I grow increasingly exacerbated on this site with the lack of basic manners from members.

Members not responding to messages and just deleting when a simple 'no thanks' would suffice.......

We always respond to messages and were asked this week why we had responded if we weren't interested!!....you can't please everyone.

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By *ercedes_SLK OP Man
over a year ago

nottingham

"People with no common sense people who don't read or check your profile before messaging and make assumptions

Common sense or intelligence?

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By *ercedes_SLK OP Man
over a year ago

nottingham

"Just had 2 2word messages from a guy ...answered in kind...

3rd message says I don't say much !

Sooooo funny

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By *ercedes_SLK OP Man
over a year ago

nottingham

".....

On the whole, you wouldn't act like this face to face (or maybe some would) so why think it's acceptable online?

...

Think of it as a lucky escape. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I grow increasingly exacerbated on this site with the lack of basic manners from members.

Topics that are my top hits

Singles not showing for meets

Members not responding to messages and just deleting when a simple 'no thanks' would suffice.......

On the whole, you wouldn't act like this face to face (or maybe some would) so why think it's acceptable online?

What bugs other members

I grow increasingly exacerbated with the sense of entitlement displayed by strangers on here.

Are we not all strangers on here?"

I do not consider the people I have met here to be strangers. Everyone else here, to one degree another, is a stranger. I owe nothing to a stranger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have the good manners to read the rules and FAQs of a sit when you join it may help

Fully abreast of the FAQ's and site rules thank you

Then you will be aware that no reply is the same as no thanks.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"People with no common sense people who don't read or check your profile before messaging and make assumptions

Common sense or intelligence?"
common sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Where messages are concerned... No one owes anyone anything.

I never reply to anyone I'm not interested in.

Reason - 9/10 times they haven't read my profile.

I get a large amount of interest/messages from Attached, bi curious and bisexual men. The opening line on my profile states... Single Straight Guys Only.

So why should I waste my time replying to anyone who doesn't read?"

Exactly and you need to catch interest which I find very rare men do for me. It just does not happen like in porn you need to prepare base where is excitement and trust at the same time

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By *aneSmith5TV/TS
over a year ago

Ely

Manners appears to be going out of fashion these days, not just on here but in life.

However this a open site and everyone is entitled to their option and actions.

I try to reply to most, however if they are far away or very basic profiles there appear very little point in wasting my time

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By *ercedes_SLK OP Man
over a year ago

nottingham

"I grow increasingly exacerbated on this site with the lack of basic manners from members.

Topics that are my top hits

Singles not showing for meets

Members not responding to messages and just deleting when a simple 'no thanks' would suffice.......

On the whole, you wouldn't act like this face to face (or maybe some would) so why think it's acceptable online?

What bugs other members

I grow increasingly exacerbated with the sense of entitlement displayed by strangers on here.

Are we not all strangers on here?

I do not consider the people I have met here to be strangers. Everyone else here, to one degree another, is a stranger. I owe nothing to a stranger."

Then by that process how did you ever initially proceed as everybody would have been a stranger

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By *ercedes_SLK OP Man
over a year ago

nottingham

"Where messages are concerned... No one owes anyone anything.

I never reply to anyone I'm not interested in.

Reason - 9/10 times they haven't read my profile.

I get a large amount of interest/messages from Attached, bi curious and bisexual men. The opening line on my profile states... Single Straight Guys Only.

So why should I waste my time replying to anyone who doesn't read?

Exactly and you need to catch interest which I find very rare men do for me. It just does not happen like in porn you need to prepare base where is excitement and trust at the same time

Agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I grow increasingly exacerbated on this site with the lack of basic manners from members.

Topics that are my top hits

Singles not showing for meets

Members not responding to messages and just deleting when a simple 'no thanks' would suffice.......

On the whole, you wouldn't act like this face to face (or maybe some would) so why think it's acceptable online?

What bugs other members

I grow increasingly exacerbated with the sense of entitlement displayed by strangers on here.

Are we not all strangers on here?

I do not consider the people I have met here to be strangers. Everyone else here, to one degree another, is a stranger. I owe nothing to a stranger."

Too many people here perceive you owe them something, I take it if interested both sides will get answer if not then just simply not. As ladies receive tons of messages that's just clear you are not having any answer because of time consumption it takes. My life my time

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By *ercedes_SLK OP Man
over a year ago

nottingham

"Manners appears to be going out of fashion these days, not just on here but in life.

However this a open site and everyone is entitled to their option and actions.

I try to reply to most, however if they are far away or very basic profiles there appear very little point in wasting my time"

A pragmatic approach

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funny, I've just reached a point where I'm questioning whether this site has become "dull"... The lack of replies is frustrating but as a 'single male' you just have to man up and get used to it.

Personally, I'm getting bored of seeing the same old chestnuts in the forum about not getting replies, can't get verified, can't get a meet, what's wrong with my profile, time wasters (grrr!) etc....... Not a lot to excite me at the moment.

But it is handy when I want to arrange a meet - and every so often something makes me chuckle, or someone makes me smile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I grow increasingly exacerbated on this site with the lack of basic manners from members.

Topics that are my top hits

Singles not showing for meets

Members not responding to messages and just deleting when a simple 'no thanks' would suffice.......

On the whole, you wouldn't act like this face to face (or maybe some would) so why think it's acceptable online?

What bugs other members

I grow increasingly exacerbated with the sense of entitlement displayed by strangers on here.

Are we not all strangers on here?

I do not consider the people I have met here to be strangers. Everyone else here, to one degree another, is a stranger. I owe nothing to a stranger.

Then by that process how did you ever initially proceed as everybody would have been a stranger"

The same way most people do. I look at profiles and if a profile appears to be compatible with our interests and what we are looking for, I contact them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've hardly made an effort with your profile.

Yes I know it's not an advice thread but people see that and really wouldn't bother.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Manners appears to be going out of fashion these days, not just on here but in life.

However this a open site and everyone is entitled to their option and actions.

I try to reply to most, however if they are far away or very basic profiles there appear very little point in wasting my time

A pragmatic approach"

life is about making the right choices for myself, try to get on with a fact, people are busy with their own lives as well and their least priority is to send the message no thanks, just fact, nothing personal. just accept time consumption and accept if there will be interest they will get back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unrequested friend invites

Guys who use one sentence introduction messages

Couples who are just guys

And smelly feet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I grow increasingly exacerbated on this site with the lack of basic manners from members.

Topics that are my top hits

Singles not showing for meets

Members not responding to messages and just deleting when a simple 'no thanks' would suffice.......

On the whole, you wouldn't act like this face to face (or maybe some would) so why think it's acceptable online?

What bugs other members"

Yes we would act like this face to face - and have done on numerous occasionsIin clubs and pubs .

We may be friendly , but when looking for fun we only converse with those we are interested in .

So its easier to exercise the choice when seeing someone face to face than from a message .

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I am exasperated by my spell check exacerbating the incorrect use of many words.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing on here gets to me. My problem at the moment is,after having really good sex at the weekend,I want more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Must be a Benz thing

What bugs me is when ppl from Scotland or Ireland send you a message saying " wanna meet"

Erm yes of course I'll drive 300 miles for what will probably last 5 minutes hehe

Read the bloody profile!! That's what bugs me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Manners costs nothing Sir ... we were all taught them at school and behond.

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

Silhouette profiles bug me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Silhouette profiles bug me."

Erm...hello!

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By *ercedes_SLK OP Man
over a year ago

nottingham

"Silhouette profiles bug me.

Erm...hello!

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

"Silhouette profiles bug me.

Erm...hello!

Joke away, but who are getting meets? People with pics or people without?

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

"Have the good manners to read the rules and FAQs of a sit when you join it may help

Fully abreast of the FAQ's and site rules thank you

Then you should know a no reply is a no thank you and therefore there wasn't much of a need for this thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I grow increasingly exacerbated on this site with the lack of basic manners from members.

Topics that are my top hits

Singles not showing for meets

Members not responding to messages and just deleting when a simple 'no thanks' would suffice.......

On the whole, you wouldn't act like this face to face (or maybe some would) so why think it's acceptable online?

What bugs other members"

Autocorrect - my autocorrect gets on my tats....

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

Not getting a response is not bad manners on their part.

Sending a message is not some amazing favour you're doing them. It's just an expression of interest. Demanding that they spend time responding, which they may not be able to do for many reasons, is just kinda petulant, to be honest.

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

"I grow increasingly exacerbated on this site with the lack of basic manners from members.

Topics that are my top hits

Singles not showing for meets

Members not responding to messages and just deleting when a simple 'no thanks' would suffice.......

On the whole, you wouldn't act like this face to face (or maybe some would) so why think it's acceptable online?

What bugs other members"

Let's deal with each of theses topics you put as forward as bad manners ...

Been on here 14 years and only twice had no shows . Which were my fault as I ignored my gut instinct and my normal vetting . Yes of course if people get cold feet or something changes ,then I would hope they would text before the meet to let me know . I'd also agree poor manners if they don't . However I also understand that people don't always do that ( for what ever their personal reason is ) so look to be proactive . I text them afew hours before meet and confirm alls still ok with the arrangements and that if I don't hear back then I'll take that that as they've changed their mind . Balls in there court and if I don't hear back then I just get on with my normal life !!No wasted make up ,effort or petrol and no drama . If you are finding no shows to be becoming such an issue for you op then maybe you need to reload at YOUR vetting and choices of meet .

Secondly the forever popular topic of getting no replys .Well firstly as said you are a wear of the site FAQs so you know no reply isn't bad manners it's just no interest! You can either accept that or if you choose to ignore it then you are causing your own angst. Also as pointed out it will come across as you feeling entitled ,not an attractive trait for anyone . Again you can either be reactive or proactive .... what are YOU doing to make people want to reply? The more effort you put in to this the more you'll get out . People will look at messages and profile and facts is if there's nothing of substance there why on earth would they waste time answering back?

You make your own journey on here and only you can decide if it's a fun one or a hard going bumpy ride .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bad manners- men messaging me who don't fit what my profile is looking for

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By *ercedes_SLK OP Man
over a year ago

nottingham

"I grow increasingly exacerbated on this site with the lack of basic manners from members.

Topics that are my top hits

Singles not showing for meets

Members not responding to messages and just deleting when a simple 'no thanks' would suffice.......

On the whole, you wouldn't act like this face to face (or maybe some would) so why think it's acceptable online?

What bugs other members

Let's deal with each of theses topics you put as forward as bad manners ...

You make your own journey on here and only you can decide if it's a fun one or a hard going bumpy ride .

Very succinctly put.

Thanks for taking the time for such a great reply

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