FabSwingers.com forum: Where's the manners

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Nothing more annoying when you message someone and they just delete your message with no reply. What's happened to manners? A simple reply saying not for us or me would be a lot better than just deleting message. Am I wrong in saying this?

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Not rude at all .. If you random message someone they are not obliged to reply. If when looking at your profile you do not have the criteria they require why should they bother.

I often dont reply as it opens up the way for them to remessage again and again questioning why I do not wish to meet /chat. I read the profile first. I dont meet so if they ask why should i reply. Also a profile full of cock pics is offputting to me so I know they are people I have no wish to speak with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All it means is they're not interested. Why must they reply?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is nothing more annoying than this topic coming up every day

Op do you need rejection in writing, will an inbox full of negativity make you feel better?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never expect! It's an easier way to avoid frustration

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Read the FAQ

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By *eMontresMan
over a year ago

Halesowen

Yes

Read the FAQ, and do a forum search, which will enlighten you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But what difference would a inbox of messages saying 'thanks but no thanks' make?

And too often a 'no thanks' leads to more messages....and abuse

'Fuck off you fat slag !'

Yeah well 5 minutes ago you wanted to fuck this fat slag

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Never expect! It's an easier way to avoid frustration"

Suppose it is just frustration, was just wondering cause I would always reply with an answer but guess it does get annoying if your a f or couple and get endless messages

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

Read the FAQ"

But saying it 30 times a day gets draining.... Plus you get the " why not" or abusive messages that take up more time... Oh and how can you reply to a " hi how's you" message with sorry no thanks?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is nothing more annoying than this topic coming up every day

Op do you need rejection in writing, will an inbox full of negativity make you feel better?"

I was thinking the same thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But what difference would a inbox of messages saying 'thanks but no thanks' make?

And too often a 'no thanks' leads to more messages....and abuse

'Fuck off you fat slag !'

Yeah well 5 minutes ago you wanted to fuck this fat slag

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never expect! It's an easier way to avoid frustration

Suppose it is just frustration, was just wondering cause I would always reply with an answer but guess it does get annoying if your a f or couple and get endless messages "

Some one I mail gets 180 messages a day... I was lucky! You van never expect a reply and see a no as a polite turn me down. As stated by others no matter how polite a turn down is, they often get abuse in the next message!

Be patient

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

What if they replied and said "your having a fucking bubble mate, small cock and face like a dustbin lid" ?

Far better to be ignored and think you're too good than be replied to and told otherwise.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

I've currently got 78 messages in my inbox. I can tell within content of the first line of the message without opening it that all 78 have failed to read my profile

If I've gone to the effort to write a profile I find it rude they don't read it. They can't be arsed to read my profile I can't be arsed to read their message

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Never expect! It's an easier way to avoid frustration

Suppose it is just frustration, was just wondering cause I would always reply with an answer but guess it does get annoying if your a f or couple and get endless messages

Be patient"

Yea I know, cheers for advice mate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never expect! It's an easier way to avoid frustration

Suppose it is just frustration, was just wondering cause I would always reply with an answer but guess it does get annoying if your a f or couple and get endless messages

Be patient"

Isn't 'Be patient' Shag's line??

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

If it's a decent message I usually reply. If it is a Hi, Hows you? Meet now - then I just delete. If they can't be bothered to put in even the tiniest bit of effort then neither can I.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've currently got 78 messages in my inbox. I can tell within content of the first line of the message without opening it that all 78 have failed to read my profile

If I've gone to the effort to write a profile I find it rude they don't read it. They can't be arsed to read my profile I can't be arsed to read their message"

Yea fair point, never really thought of it that way hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What if they replied and said "your having a fucking bubble mate, small cock and face like a dustbin lid" ?

Far better to be ignored and think you're too good than be replied to and told otherwise. "

That's not what I said Steve

Was face like a saucepan lid

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never expect! It's an easier way to avoid frustration

Suppose it is just frustration, was just wondering cause I would always reply with an answer but guess it does get annoying if your a f or couple and get endless messages

Be patient

Isn't 'Be patient' Shag's line??

It is, but I usually pinch it if he's nit around

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never expect! It's an easier way to avoid frustration

Suppose it is just frustration, was just wondering cause I would always reply with an answer but guess it does get annoying if your a f or couple and get endless messages

Be patient

Isn't 'Be patient' Shag's line??

It is, but I usually pinch it if he's nit around

^ not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If it's a decent message I usually reply. If it is a Hi, Hows you? Meet now - then I just delete. If they can't be bothered to put in even the tiniest bit of effort then neither can I."

That makes a heap of sense. And anything abusive should get an instant block....but I'm sorry, I do agree that manners cost very little. A simple cut and paste takes hardly any longer than a delete....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you had the manners to read the rules of the site you joined, you'd see that a no reply is to be taken as a polite no thankyou

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Saucepan lid......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Saucepan lid......

isn't 'pan lid' some kind of slang for kid?

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

Did you read her profile fully?

Did she say, "I'll f**k with anyone" or did she have a list of requirements?

Did you meet ALL of those requirements?

If you did meet ALL of those requirements, then maybe she did not find you attractive and in which case, she. I feel, should have sent you a message saying, "no thanks"; that is what I would do and then block

However, if you wrote to her even though you did not meet ALL her requirements, then you are the one without manners, not her. Although, I am sure that wasn't the case

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

"I've currently got 78 messages in my inbox. I can tell within content of the first line of the message without opening it that all 78 have failed to read my profile

If I've gone to the effort to write a profile I find it rude they don't read it. They can't be arsed to read my profile I can't be arsed to read their message"

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Last week, before I started filtering messages from men again, I got a message from a man outside my age range, (which I think is ignoring my preferences and therefore rude), I had no interest in meeting.

Normally I'd have deleted because he ignored my preferences so didn't deserve a reply.

However, I sent a brief but polite message saying no thanks.

He replied with an "oh go on..." message trying to persuade me.

With so many men thinking any response is a reason to carry on messaging, a no thanks is an invitation to try to change my mind and some just being downright rude when rejected, it's no wonder so many women don't reply.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

so what you would like...

"there there there, you go champ!!! but not for us"

or how about this

"fuck off!!!!"

or how about this......

"good god no!!!!"

or how about this.....

silence.... just nothing

see... i don't see that no reply is any better than those...... needing a reply is just... needy!!!!

they don't owe you a reply just because you wrote to them.... you are not owed a reply because you sent something!!

next time a takeaway pamphlet comes thru your door.... ask yourself if you ever send them a no thanks!!!

i think it also needs a mindset adjustment that everything is no reply until you get a reply..... that way, no angst....

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

"If it's a decent message I usually reply. If it is a Hi, Hows you? Meet now - then I just delete. If they can't be bothered to put in even the tiniest bit of effort then neither can I.

And a simple C&P of a decent message doesn't take that long either.

They didn't bother so neither do I

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I currently have loads of unread messages.

Most are just crap like 'Hi, how r u'

Or 'I love your profile and pics wanna chat?' And their profile is a couple of lines that actually doesn't say anything and either no pics or just one's of their cock.

So no, I am not going to bother to respond, why would I bother to waste my time?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never seen this subject on the forum before! !

I think it's rude that people don't read your profile nor the FAQ's before sending you a crap message but shit happens.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Besides, it's poor manners for someone else to think they van dictate how I use my time.

If they make the decision to use their time to message it doesn't grant them any right to dictate I use my time - even a few seconds of it - to reply.

Plus, OP, I'm willing to bet you don't spend your time messaging people you aren't attracted to. That's your right, yes? So what gives you the right to expect people not attracted to you to spend their time messaging you, even to just say no thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nothing more annoying when you message someone and they just delete your message with no reply. What's happened to manners? A simple reply saying not for us or me would be a lot better than just deleting message. Am I wrong in saying this? "
this is a pretty common complaint unfortunately it will never be answered to your satisfaction ,if you message a woman who is very attractive this will always be a problem even if you get friendly with them ,the volume of message they get they can't cope with but even those that aren't getting hundreds of messages a day can't cope some are just not interested because of your look or pic selection ,many different reasons so where I agree you are right it is rude it won't change

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"if you had the manners to read the rules of the site you joined, you'd see that a no reply is to be taken as a polite no thankyou

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Try this: don't message anyone.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"If it's a decent message I usually reply. If it is a Hi, Hows you? Meet now - then I just delete. If they can't be bothered to put in even the tiniest bit of effort then neither can I.

Of course you do. You're seeing it from your point of view.

From a woman's point of view it can look very different.

Very often men are expecting women to bother replying when they haven't bothered, (to read and respect the profile, to write a decent message, etc), at all themselves.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Nothing more annoying when you message someone and they just delete your message with no reply. What's happened to manners? A simple reply saying not for us or me would be a lot better than just deleting message. Am I wrong in saying this? this is a pretty common complaint unfortunately it will never be answered to your satisfaction ,if you message a woman who is very attractive this will always be a problem even if you get friendly with them ,the volume of message they get they can't cope with but even those that aren't getting hundreds of messages a day can't cope some are just not interested because of your look or pic selection ,many different reasons so where I agree you are right it is rude it won't change

It's not rude. Nobody asked them to message, they chose to. They're not owed anything. Just as they can chose to use their time to message, the recipient can chose to use their time to reply or not.

Nobody is entitled to another person's time just because they're on this site.

It's rather arrogant and rude to think you are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep, you're wrong!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have filters on most of the time so randoms can't message me.

If i take my filters off and reply no thanks to randoms message me i cannot reblock them with filters when i put them back on.

Not interested is saying no thanks.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I have filters on most of the time so randoms can't message me.

If i take my filters off and reply no thanks to randoms message me i cannot reblock them with filters when i put them back on.

Not interested is saying no thanks."

Also a good point.

Responding to people you're not interested in gives them carte blanche to message you whenever in the future, regardless of your filter settings, unless you specifically block them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have filters on most of the time so randoms can't message me.

If i take my filters off and reply no thanks to randoms message me i cannot reblock them with filters when i put them back on.

Not interested is saying no thanks.

Also a good point.

Responding to people you're not interested in gives them carte blanche to message you whenever in the future, regardless of your filter settings, unless you specifically block them."

I didn't type that properly and missed out some words but yeah you got what i meant.

My blocklist broke on my other profile so i'm keeping this blocklist as small as possible.

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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

FAQs:

Q. There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!

A. It's not rude not to reply.

Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Some people reply, some don't. You will enjoy your time on the site much better if you accept this

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