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"Im a married guy, The trouble is ever since my early 20's i have been interested in swinging, when i was single i never did anything about because i was and probably I'm quite a shy guy. Then i got married and over the years sex became less important to my wife, we have been married for 24 years and i have never as much touched another women. The trouble is sex is very important to me and when i took a look at this site i saw how much i was missing. Im not sure what to do next, if i could meet a married women that would be perfect or even a couple what does everybody think, i guess lots of you will think I'm a tosser but I'm not. If you're a genuine married women reading this please do get in touch." I wouldn't say you were a tosser, but I would put your marital status and what you're looking for on your profile, so people can make an informed choice. Good luck! | |||
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"look everyone, thank you. I kind of guess what type of response i would get and it was what i was thinking if I'm honest. I think the best thing for me is to admit i have had a rush of bloody, a mid life mini crisis and quietly go back to the real world and thank everyone for chatting. You dont actually ... talking to your wife would be a start .... she might be feeling dissatisfied too .... this seems to be all about you ... you can do something about this situation ....you need to communicate ... good luck OP " | |||
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"Im a married guy, The trouble is ever since my early 20's i have been interested in swinging, when i was single i never did anything about because i was and probably I'm quite a shy guy. Then i got married and over the years sex became less important to my wife, we have been married for 24 years and i have never as much touched another women. The trouble is sex is very important to me and when i took a look at this site i saw how much i was missing. Im not sure what to do next, if i could meet a married women that would be perfect or even a couple what does everybody think, i guess lots of you will think I'm a tosser but I'm not. If you're a genuine married women reading this please do get in touch." I suppose the question I would ask is this. You say you've always been interested in swinging. What aspects of swinging interest you? Or is this just a way of finding some sexual outlet as an individual in what you might consider to be less risky to your marriage than say, an affair? The 2 are infinitely different and you may get slightly different responses depending on your answer | |||
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"Im a married guy, The trouble is ever since my early 20's i have been interested in swinging, when i was single i never did anything about because i was and probably I'm quite a shy guy. Then i got married and over the years sex became less important to my wife, we have been married for 24 years and i have never as much touched another women. The trouble is sex is very important to me and when i took a look at this site i saw how much i was missing. Im not sure what to do next, if i could meet a married women that would be perfect or even a couple what does everybody think, i guess lots of you will think I'm a tosser but I'm not. If you're a genuine married women reading this please do get in touch." Just put down discreet...its code for married cheating git canny approach but were out as we cant see any reason to invest in you rather than a muscular young hung unmarried uncomplicated guy with no ties | |||
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"OP fully understand your plight, had years of little or no sex, spoke to her about it many times & tried everything. And she said it was her had lost her sex drive. I suggested counseling etc etc t she refused even when i threatened to leave, so after 12 months of no sex however much i loved her and today I still do, I new it wasn't going to change. Sometimes now't you can do about it. In the end I did what was necessary and pulled the bandaid off!! All the smart arses who have never been in your situation or mine, have no idea how hurtful it is to anyone to be denied sex and physical contact from their life partner, the woman/man they spent many years with and love, not to even kiss you anymore, it effects your mood, work everything. A marriage is a two way street, i still see her now and her sex drive has not returned over 3 years since we separated. I did the right thing for myself and thats all you can do!! Good Luck fella. " Whilst I do agree with this, I have been on the other side of this as well. The lack of sex and communication drove my ex marriage apart. We each do what we feel we need to do, in the case of my ex husband it was him having an affair behind my back. At the time this, for me, was horrendous and heartbreaking, now though, it was a thing that obvious needed to happen and we are both much happier now with new partners. As I said in my post above I don't condemn what anyone does but do encourage them to look at the consequences this may have in life. | |||
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"I think you should do what you want to do, not what the rest of us think. All I say is don't discuss your wife with strangers when she doesn't have a right of reply." This is the most and only sensible answer, especially the last sentence | |||
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"OP fully understand your plight, had years of little or no sex, spoke to her about it many times & tried everything. And she said it was her had lost her sex drive. I suggested counseling etc etc t she refused even when i threatened to leave, so after 12 months of no sex however much i loved her and today I still do, I new it wasn't going to change. Sometimes now't you can do about it. In the end I did what was necessary and pulled the bandaid off!! All the smart arses who have never been in your situation or mine, have no idea how hurtful it is to anyone to be denied sex and physical contact from their life partner, the woman/man they spent many years with and love, not to even kiss you anymore, it effects your mood, work everything. A marriage is a two way street, i still see her now and her sex drive has not returned over 3 years since we separated. I did the right thing for myself and thats all you can do!! Good Luck fella. " I was in the same situation for almost 4 years, became miserable and starting comfort eating to cope with the constant rejection from the person I loved most in the world but stayed faithful to, have him then leave me for the woman he was having an affair with for all that time and it completely blew my world apart. Don't assume the constant rejection leads everyone to cheat, it doesn't, but people usually do need an outlet, mine was food and I've been trying hard ever since to loose the weight from comfort eating the way I did ever since | |||
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"i have read all the messages and i think its fair to say people have not pulled any punches. I care very much what my wife thinks so people are wrong to say i don't. So I'm going to put this down to experience and move on. I was not looking for anyone to give me an answer and maybe i was too honest, maybe not but thanks to everyone for contributing to my post even if you gave me a hard time. " You say 'I was not looking for anyone to give me an answer' but you wrote in your original post 'what does everybody think'. Perhaps if you don't want an answer, don't ask a question? | |||
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"i have read all the messages and i think its fair to say people have not pulled any punches. I care very much what my wife thinks so people are wrong to say i don't. So I'm going to put this down to experience and move on. I was not looking for anyone to give me an answer and maybe i was too honest, maybe not but thanks to everyone for contributing to my post even if you gave me a hard time. " Were you looking for permission, perhaps? So, I take it that it's not swinging that interests you, per se...? | |||
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"i have read all the messages and i think its fair to say people have not pulled any punches. I care very much what my wife thinks so people are wrong to say i don't. So I'm going to put this down to experience and move on. I was not looking for anyone to give me an answer and maybe i was too honest, maybe not but thanks to everyone for contributing to my post even if you gave me a hard time. " This will roll for a while longer yet, the evening crowd are just getting warmed up.... | |||
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"look everyone, thank you. I kind of guess what type of response i would get and it was what i was thinking if I'm honest. I think the best thing for me is to admit i have had a rush of bloody, a mid life mini crisis and quietly go back to the real world and thank everyone for chatting. " Are you able to talk to your wife about it? Your sex life I mean. | |||
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"You say 'I was not looking for anyone to give me an answer' but you wrote in your original post 'what does everybody think'. Perhaps if you don't want an answer, don't ask a question? Yes your right, it was badly worded I'm sorry what else can i say. Were you looking for permission, perhaps? So, I take it that it's not swinging that interests you, per se...? I guess i just wanted to have one incredible erotic experience in my life, i know have should have done it years ago but i was just not a very confident guy. I think i should stop I'm just making a fool of myself, getting my words tied up" Your not making.a fool of yourself at all. We all have our thoughts and feelings so I think you have to look at yourself and what you really want and then make your decisions based on that. | |||
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"You say 'I was not looking for anyone to give me an answer' but you wrote in your original post 'what does everybody think'. Perhaps if you don't want an answer, don't ask a question? Yes your right, it was badly worded I'm sorry what else can i say. Were you looking for permission, perhaps? So, I take it that it's not swinging that interests you, per se...? I guess i just wanted to have one incredible erotic experience in my life, i know have should have done it years ago but i was just not a very confident guy. I think i should stop I'm just making a fool of myself, getting my words tied up" Actually, you're not. I'm not trying to make a moral judgement, I'm not in any position to do that...sorry if my question was too blunt, you've clarified something from your OP that I was curious about...I hope you find what you're looking for once you've worked out what it is... | |||
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"i can't believe how many nasty messages i have had i can't be the only married guy on here, I have not even meet anyone and probably won't. i am polite, friendly guy but some of the messages i have received have made me feel really awful." Well those messages were Uncalled for, but being judged in such a negative way by some for cheating (or in your case contemplating it) is one on the consequences of doing it if you aren't willing to accept that or any other possible consequences of such an action (both positive and negative), then Probably best not to do it. | |||
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"i can't believe how many nasty messages i have had i can't be the only married guy on here, I have not even meet anyone and probably won't. i am polite, friendly guy but some of the messages i have received have made me feel really awful." Ben? only you know what the exact circumstances are and whether what you are thinking of doing is right or wrong Also, it is only you and your wife who will bear whatever consequences are of this action as long as you are honest with the 'other woman' and keep her out of this | |||
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"i can't believe how many nasty messages i have had i can't be the only married guy on here, I have not even meet anyone and probably won't. i am polite, friendly guy but some of the messages i have received have made me feel really awful." You can only allow messages from strangers to make you feel awful if you let them and if you feel there's an element if truth in what they say. I suggest you block everyone from contacting you because from what i read single men get very few messages anyway and make contact with people yourself. I detect a faint "oh wow is me" quality to your posts, take charge, decide what you want and go for it. Good luck. | |||
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"i can't believe how many nasty messages i have had i can't be the only married guy on here, I have not even meet anyone and probably won't. i am polite, friendly guy but some of the messages i have received have made me feel really awful." I think it says more about those sending nasty messages than it does about you. How sad that they would spend time being nasty to someone they don't know. | |||
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"i can't believe how many nasty messages i have had i can't be the only married guy on here, I have not even meet anyone and probably won't. i am polite, friendly guy but some of the messages i have received have made me feel really awful." Not as awful as your wife would feel if she knew you were on here....like all married men playing away ,you care nothing for the woman you are betraying and destroying because if she did find out it will destroy her and you could never make it up to her | |||
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"i can't believe how many nasty messages i have had i can't be the only married guy on here, I have not even meet anyone and probably won't. i am polite, friendly guy but some of the messages i have received have made me feel really awful. You can only allow messages from strangers to make you feel awful if you let them and if you feel there's an element if truth in what they say. I suggest you block everyone from contacting you because from what i read single men get very few messages anyway and make contact with people yourself. I detect a faint "oh wow is me" quality to your posts, take charge, decide what you want and go for it. Good luck." *woe | |||
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"i can't believe how many nasty messages i have had i can't be the only married guy on here, I have not even meet anyone and probably won't. i am polite, friendly guy but some of the messages i have received have made me feel really awful." OP, that's well out of order so report & block them! Some of the really popular men on Fabs / forum are married so it's a case of ignore the haters, try not to take it personally ~ some people get off being horrible to others x | |||
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"i can't believe how many nasty messages i have had i can't be the only married guy on here, I have not even meet anyone and probably won't. i am polite, friendly guy but some of the messages i have received have made me feel really awful. OP, that's well out of order so report & block them! Some of the really popular men on Fabs / forum are married so it's a case of ignore the haters, try not to take it personally ~ some people get off being horrible to others x" I agree with this report and block those that send nasty messages troll and hide behind a computer screen so big and hard not | |||
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"i can't believe how many nasty messages i have had i can't be the only married guy on here, I have not even meet anyone and probably won't. i am polite, friendly guy but some of the messages i have received have made me feel really awful.Not as awful as your wife would feel if she knew you were on here....like all married men playing away ,you care nothing for the woman you are betraying and destroying because if she did find out it will destroy her and you could never make it up to her" Took the words right out of my mouth | |||
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"i can't believe how many nasty messages i have had i can't be the only married guy on here, I have not even meet anyone and probably won't. i am polite, friendly guy but some of the messages i have received have made me feel really awful.Not as awful as your wife would feel if she knew you were on here....like all married men playing away ,you care nothing for the woman you are betraying and destroying because if she did find out it will destroy her and you could never make it up to her" You can't possibly know that as you are not privy to their relationship & having an affair doesn't always have to signify the end of a relationship. | |||
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"i can't believe how many nasty messages i have had i can't be the only married guy on here, I have not even meet anyone and probably won't. i am polite, friendly guy but some of the messages i have received have made me feel really awful.Not as awful as your wife would feel if she knew you were on here....like all married men playing away ,you care nothing for the woman you are betraying and destroying because if she did find out it will destroy her and you could never make it up to her You can't possibly know that as you are not privy to their relationship & having an affair doesn't always have to signify the end of a relationship." | |||
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"i can't believe how many nasty messages i have had i can't be the only married guy on here, I have not even meet anyone and probably won't. i am polite, friendly guy but some of the messages i have received have made me feel really awful.Not as awful as your wife would feel if she knew you were on here....like all married men playing away ,you care nothing for the woman you are betraying and destroying because if she did find out it will destroy her and you could never make it up to her You can't possibly know that as you are not privy to their relationship & having an affair doesn't always have to signify the end of a relationship." This is so unbelievably true; an affair was the catalyst that fixed my relationship. I'm now married. Out as bi and out as trans. | |||
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"i can't believe how many nasty messages i have had i can't be the only married guy on here, I have not even meet anyone and probably won't. i am polite, friendly guy but some of the messages i have received have made me feel really awful.Not as awful as your wife would feel if she knew you were on here....like all married men playing away ,you care nothing for the woman you are betraying and destroying because if she did find out it will destroy her and you could never make it up to her You can't possibly know that as you are not privy to their relationship & having an affair doesn't always have to signify the end of a relationship. This is so unbelievably true; an affair was the catalyst that fixed my relationship. I'm now married. Out as bi and out as trans. " | |||
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