FabSwingers.com forum: no reply to messages

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i read a lot of people moaning about there messages not being replied to,yes this can be frustrating at times as a simple reply saying yes or no only takes seconds,but i do understand the huge ammount of mail people get so to reply to every message would just be impossible for some people,what i find the best thing to do is look to see if your message has been read if it has or it has been deleted without a reply then that should tell you that person or persons are not interested and you should move on and not pester,its never anything personal if people are not interested as we all have our own tatses so why is it some people take it as an insult if they dont get a reply?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good point. I used to get a bit miffed (when I was a newbie) if I didn't get a reply because I thought people were just being rude, but I've copped on now that some people get tons of messages to read and can't reply to all.

If I send a message now in reply to a meet request I don't really expect to get a reply, if I do (even if it's a no thanks) I'm happy because it's nice to see some sort of response.

In every first message I send to someone I always ask them to delete my message if they're not interested. I keep all the deleted messages I have sent to ensure I don't pester that profile again.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *omcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Some people are pig ignorant ,,DELETE without reading yours. Some insist on

face pics if you message them ,,,but very often dont have face pics of them on their profile themselves When you request face pics from them you often get no reply either

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Some people are pig ignorant ,,DELETE without reading yours. Some insist on

face pics if you message them ,,,but very often dont have face pics of them on their profile themselves When you request face pics from them you often get no reply either "

how can you tell they have deleted it without reading it?? are you watching your sent items likea hawk?? lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Some insist on

face pics if you message them ,,,but very often dont have face pics of them on their profile themselves "

surely sending pics in a message and having face pix on your profile are two entirely different things.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

" Some insist on

face pics if you message them ,,,but very often dont have face pics of them on their profile themselves

surely sending pics in a message and having face pix on your profile are two entirely different things.

I agree, that's what I do.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Some people are pig ignorant ,,DELETE without reading yours. Some insist on

face pics if you message them ,,,but very often dont have face pics of them on their profile themselves When you request face pics from them you often get no reply either "

but the question is then WHY do you let it get to you?????

at the end of the day if you get that stressed by it, you'll only end up giving yourself an ulcer... its like saying you demand a reply to every job you have ever gone after...

real life doesn't always work like that.....

we are all here to have fun, if people like me... good, if they don't such is life... you are never going to please everyone!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Im going to try and answer all my messages today..............maybe

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry but this topic as been done to death,this will happen messages will get deleted and not replied to,get over it,take it as a polite no and move on.

It doesnt say anyone on here that they have to reply to messages

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry but this topic as been done to death,this will happen messages will get deleted and not replied to,get over it,take it as a polite no and move on.

It doesnt say anyone on here that they have to reply to messages"

Very true!!

From my point of view...I reply to hardly any messages, compared to those that I receive, I don't reply to messages to thank the sender for doing so, as have found from experience that this just leads some on and then they can't take NO for an answer! Each and everyone of us will handle our own emails, in our own way. Why people still feel the need to give a shit? I really don't know! As for deleting before reading...if the email says "nice tits" then why open it to read it? when you can just delete it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ouplefunukCouple
over a year ago

North Bristol

" Some insist on face pics if you message them ,,,but very often dont have face pics of them on their profile themselves When you request face pics from them you often get no reply either "

We ask for face pics with a mail and we don't have face pics on our public profile. I completely fail to see how you think this is wrong. We have face pics in our private folder, which we are happy to send in return - IF the mailer (mailee? lol) is someone we would meet with. We would NEVER put face pics on our public profile. It's not wrong or rude it's our choice!

*Her*

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" From my point of view...I reply to hardly any messages, compared to those that I receive, I don't reply to messages to thank the sender for doing so, as have found from experience that this just leads some on and then they can't take NO for an answer! Each and everyone of us will handle our own emails, in our own way. Why people still feel the need to give a shit? I really don't know! As for deleting before reading...if the email says "nice tits" then why open it to read it? when you can just delete it

Well said, Cate, I totally agree. I used to send a polite thanks-but-no-thanks reply, but too many men think that means they've got a foot in the door and respond with 'why not?' or 'can we just chat then?'.

I've also had mails saying 'thanks for your polite thanks-but-no-thanks message'. Honestly, my heart sank sometimes, when I saw the number of mails in my inbox - and 95% of these were just delaying me from getting on with what I really want to use this site for - i.e. meeting people through the chatroom.

To all people who are disappointed when they don't get a reply .... we don't intend to be rude, but we don't like to be pestered, either.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilthythanetCouple
over a year ago

ramsgate

Since we don't meet single guys, we block them (even though i'm sure lots are very nice and coureous).

This saves them wasting there efforts and stops us getting inundated.

Those who don't block single males, then just ignore the ones who make a genuine effort (i.e. have actually read the profile, and put some thought into the message) are just bloody rude, and so egocentric that any meeting with them would probably be awful.

And yes, we're sure there will be a load of couples saying how many messages they get from idiots, and how they don't have time to reply to every single one, but replying 'no thanks' takes seconds.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"Im going to try and answer all my messages today..............maybe

Except to the ones that have messaged before and ive said no thanks to before

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilthythanetCouple
over a year ago

ramsgate

And another thing...

If you say no to someone, why not just block them? That way you won't get any more messages that you don't want, and they won't waste time writing a (pointless) message.

This isn't directed at any one, just at the 'anti single male club' in general.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The silliest people who write to tell you off for not replying are those who have a final paragraph saying 'Thanks for reading this and if you're interested please get back to me'. I always assume if you're not interested theres no need to respond. But that isn't the case they email again for confirmation and want you to write and say no thanks - perhaps some get off on a refusal?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"And another thing...

If you say no to someone, why not just block them? That way you won't get any more messages that you don't want, and they won't waste time writing a (pointless) message.

This isn't directed at any one, just at the 'anti single male club' in general."

Why should I end up with a blocklist as long as a football field to solve someone else's problem of not liking their message being deleted?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilthythanetCouple
over a year ago

ramsgate

"The silliest people who write to tell you off for not replying are those who have a final paragraph saying 'Thanks for reading this and if you're interested please get back to me'. I always assume if you're not interested theres no need to respond. But that isn't the case they email again for confirmation and want you to write and say no thanks - perhaps some get off on a refusal?"

Damn those silly people who make an effort. God forbid we should show any courtesy to them!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilthythanetCouple
over a year ago

ramsgate

"And another thing...

If you say no to someone, why not just block them? That way you won't get any more messages that you don't want, and they won't waste time writing a (pointless) message.

This isn't directed at any one, just at the 'anti single male club' in general.

Why should I end up with a blocklist as long as a football field to solve someone else's problem of not liking their message being deleted?"

Does it matter how long your block list is then?

It's not about people not liking there message being deleted, it's about saving everyone time, and preventing yourself from being harassed by people who can't take a 'no thanks' message as a final answer.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyway if you move someones mail to your saved folder to respond to later because you're interested and delete the original from your inbox so as not to lose it among other incoming mail, it shows to the sender that you have 'deleted'. So the status to the sender is not an accurate reflection of how you organise your personal mail. How long do you think you should wait for a reply before conculding non will be forthcoming? Everyone seems to be so impatient and want a quick turnover.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"And another thing...

If you say no to someone, why not just block them? That way you won't get any more messages that you don't want, and they won't waste time writing a (pointless) message.

This isn't directed at any one, just at the 'anti single male club' in general.

Why should I end up with a blocklist as long as a football field to solve someone else's problem of not liking their message being deleted?

Does it matter how long your block list is then?

But I don't feel harassed. I will happily delete messages until the cows come home. If they read my profile they wouldn't be wasting their time either.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"And another thing...

If you say no to someone, why not just block them? That way you won't get any more messages that you don't want, and they won't waste time writing a (pointless) message.

This isn't directed at any one, just at the 'anti single male club' in general."

Im not anti single male,we only look for single males from here,the reason I don't block everyone that messages is because at certain particular times someone may not be suitable for what im looking for but at other times they may well be exactly what im looking for

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilthythanetCouple
over a year ago

ramsgate

"Anyway if you move someones mail to your saved folder to respond to later because you're interested and delete the original from your inbox so as not to lose it among other incoming mail, it shows to the sender that you have 'deleted'. So the status to the sender is not an accurate reflection of how you organise your personal mail. How long do you think you should wait for a reply before conculding non will be forthcoming? Everyone seems to be so impatient and want a quick turnover."

We didn't even know you got a status about whether your email has been deleted.

Although we tend not to mail people unless they have either mailed us or winked us, so usually we get a reply anyway. (Apart from the ones who wink you, friends request you, then don't respond to your messages, which is just daft)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilthythanetCouple
over a year ago

ramsgate

"And another thing...

If you say no to someone, why not just block them? That way you won't get any more messages that you don't want, and they won't waste time writing a (pointless) message.

This isn't directed at any one, just at the 'anti single male club' in general.

We're not saying you should block every single male (unless you don't want to meet any at all), but rather just block them once you've sent a polite 'no thanks' message.

Even if you change your mind later on, you can send them a message later on and they'll be automatically removed from the ban list. Just means that in the meantime you won't get pestered. Unless you want to see if they pester you as some sort of test!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"And another thing...

If you say no to someone, why not just block them? That way you won't get any more messages that you don't want, and they won't waste time writing a (pointless) message.

This isn't directed at any one, just at the 'anti single male club' in general.

We're not saying you should block every single male (unless you don't want to meet any at all), but rather just block them once you've sent a polite 'no thanks' message.

Actually I ask some of them to block me to save them writing to me again

Don't assume that I want to be pestered like im some sort of attention seeker that will then moan about it on here because im not and I don't,I don't even ask for mail,I ask for winks

But if someone has taken the time to write something nice then ill reply nicely back

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilthythanetCouple
over a year ago

ramsgate

But I don't feel harassed. I will happily delete messages until the cows come home. If they read my profile they wouldn't be wasting their time either."

Oh absolutely, if they haven't read your profile and just messaged you anyway, then delete away, if they haven't shown you the courtesy of reading your profile, then bugger 'em.

But what happens when someone messages you asking if they are too far away for example? Then a simple thanks but no thanks would be polite. Then block.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

But I don't feel harassed. I will happily delete messages until the cows come home. If they read my profile they wouldn't be wasting their time either.

Oh absolutely, if they haven't read your profile and just messaged you anyway, then delete away, if they haven't shown you the courtesy of reading your profile, then bugger 'em.

But what happens when someone messages you asking if they are too far away for example? Then a simple thanks but no thanks would be polite. Then block."

There are always exceptions, but I generally do reply if they have read my profile and not read it and ignored what it said. But I still feel no need to block. If they can't take no for an answer or they can't keep track of who they have and haven't messaged I don't see why I should solve the problem for them.

The other thing is... just because I don't want to fuck someone, it doesn't mean I wouldn't answer a private reply to a forum post. If I blocked everyone I had deleted messages from or sent a no thanks to, they wouldn't be able to do that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I guess it's like this... if someone does annoy me with messages I will block them. If I annoy them by not replying surely it is they who should block me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These men want a quick "oh yes I want to shag you" they are deluded sadly but not all single men are like this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *h38Couple
over a year ago

norwich

I have to admit we are not very good at replying if were not interested, do feel bad for not replying but worried about upsetting people, would a polite no really be better than no reply? and if so how would you word it?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have to admit we are not very good at replying if were not interested, do feel bad for not replying but worried about upsetting people, would a polite no really be better than no reply? and if so how would you word it?"

Well the kindest and honest way I believe is to reply back 'no thanks' so they know where they stand, to delete their message especially they made an effort to send a decent message included their face pics without reply back can leave them guessing and make you arrogant.

If they reply back to your 'no thanks' and give you hassles then the couple will have every right to block them and not worth knowing them.

The genuine good single males will respect your wishes and move on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people are pig ignorant ,,DELETE without reading yours. Some insist on

face pics if you message them ,,,but very often dont have face pics of them on their profile themselves When you request face pics from them you often get no reply either "

Somcouple, I written to you about 6 months ago with a decent message of myself including my face pic but you delete my message without a reply.

Calling the kettle black!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'we respond to all winks and messages'

hmm..so we sent em a wink

nothing

so who exactly is pig ignorant?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs

These men want a quick "oh yes I want to shag

you" they are deluded sadly but not all single

men are like this"

As most point out a lot/most guys think and write with the wrong muscle! That means they don't engage the most important one the brain when sending messages! Some may have some success but if you're to busy typing with one hand rather than reading the profile fully you can expect to not receive replies even polite ones!

So read twice and then read again and if nothing is forth coming don't worry and move on.....

You can't please everyone and not everyone has the vocabulary to express what they want in a way that ticks your boxes...especially guys, although I dont approve personally of using text speak I won't reject a message just on that alone. As sometimes I use the odd phrase! lol oops!

but if they are wearing Burbury no chance!

Couples and single fems I'm told receive hundreds of messages so maybe they have to be a little more discerning in who they choose to reply too...makes sense to me.... So don't worry if you don't get a reply.....you're not the only one it happens too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread