FabSwingers.com forum: Manners a two way thing?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Been here on a previous profile and made the grave error of mentioning the way men are sometimes treated on here... but I can't hold my tongue on this one. I introduce myself to a lady of similar interests to me, I match her criteria so naturally I introduce myself, I state that I'm tall, attractive (got to sell yourself!) And would like to meet with her, all very polite and punctual. I always read profiles I always adhere to anything asked for.

Now I can accept not being to someone's taste, I've been politely let down many a time, no worries.

But it smacks of pure hypocrisy when a lady who herself often bemoans the lack of manners shown by men (and I agree, they ruin the site entirely) responds with "your certainly not attractive....." followed by a swift block. Just rude!

I'd fully expect to get absolutely berated if I talked to any girl this way, if somebody reads my message and doesn't reply, I take the hint.

But the fact that she's made the effort to basically call me ugly is just... well really nasty to be frank, and what's the need in that on a site made for fun?

Call me out all you want on this, I know I will be, but even though that men are the overwhelming majority on this site I still believe (especially the well mannered genuine ones) deserve manners in return!

Fire away....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't worry about it my lovely, speaks volumes about them as a person and showing their true colours means you dodged a bullet!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ignore and move on.

I can never understand why people let random Internet strangers bother them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well on the face of it, and obviously with only half the story, it does seem incredibly unnecessary and unfair.

A simple 'thanks but you're not my type' would have sufficed or no response at all (as per site rules) but, if you were respectful and crafted a decent message, then yes, totally unwarranted.

Move on and ignore. Would you really want to meet someone who responds like that anyway? Be grateful of the escape!

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Not sure naming them on your status is the way to go tho...

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Why would you think people will criticise you for ranting about poor manners? Even if you're so ugly you make Quasimodo cry, there's no call for someone to be rude to you.

At least you know you had a lucky escape.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Not sure naming them on your status is the way to go tho..."

Ah yes, admin will be after you for that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a man asks to meet on the first message I usually decline with no further contact. This is because there is no way can anyone know we would be compatible,or like each or want to have sex just by looking at a profile.

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

You say you match her criteria but her profile says black is her preference.

Her response is rude and very unnecessary though

Most guys complain they don't get a response. I just got abuse for asking someone to read my profile. Can't please all the people all the time - Report abuse, block, delete, next!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks!

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

We haven't heard her side of the story and we can't see what you look like.

Don't worry about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally think this thread is super inappropriate given your status. You have basically named and shamed, and you are talking about her manners? I think you may need to grow up. Or maybe this site just isn't the right environment for you if you can't handle harsh criticism.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Fair she prefers black but prefer hints that she isn't counting white men out... thanks for the support, genuinely unexpected!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We haven't heard her side of the story and we can't see what you look like.

Don't worry about it

Even if I am immensely ugly, which would be news to me! I surely deserve manners at least? Imagine a bloke telling you that, it would be abhorrent

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I personally think this thread is super inappropriate given your status. You have basically named and shamed, and you are talking about her manners? I think you may need to grow up. Or maybe this site just isn't the right environment for you if you can't handle harsh criticism.

Yeah I deleted it that, a bit of tit for tat, admittedly a bit petty.

I don't understand why having to take criticism should be part of the site?

-Courtney"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

probably wouldn't lead with the im tall and attractive, some people might think its arrogant over confident, people will find it.

perhaps a jokey, I'm tall but you can decide whether I'm attractive kinda approach might be better. other than that you came across well,

hopefully your future responses by women or anyone else wont be so bad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I deleted it that, a bit of tit for tat, admittedly a bit petty.

I don't understand why having to take criticism should be part of the site?

-Courtney"

I agree, it shouldn't be part of the site. But it is. So you need to get used to it. We have had nasty responses to pictures from people too.....but its the way of the world. For everyone, not just single guys.

Try asking some of the women on the forums what messages they get about their appearance from guys after they reject them. It will horrify you. Its sad. But its the way it is.

I hope you have better luck in the future.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get a lot of guys telling me they're attractive, and they send pics so i can judge for myself. I personally don't find them attractive but wouldn't tell them that unless they ask what you think about their appearance, i don't think you need to be a dick about looks coz they're subjective.

Do think it's weird they'd tell me what i find attractive though.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

Attractiveness is very subjective.

Well all have mates who rave about a person, thinks they are the most gorgeous person alive but you just can's see it.

Maybe you just weren't her type.

Yes she could have worded it a whole lot better, but she could have a case of the Fab Ego, being told 20 times a day that you are stunning can do that to a person....allegedly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't worry about it my lovely, speaks volumes about them as a person and showing their true colours means you dodged a bullet!"

This

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

"We haven't heard her side of the story and we can't see what you look like.

Don't worry about it

Even if I am immensely ugly, which would be news to me! I surely deserve manners at least? Imagine a bloke telling you that, it would be abhorrent"

There was no need for her to be rude but there was no need for you to name and shame her on your status.

I have had many men tell me I'm ugly and I don't really care what they thought or said. I know I'm not the best looking woman here.

Report her and block if it makes you feel better. Red

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

No idea what the OP looks like of course, but when I get a message saying that the guy himself thinks he's attractive, and wants to meet when all he's done is look at my profile, I just assume copy & paste.

Plus we all have different ideas of what's attractive, and I'll decide if I think they are.

Just my opinion.

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By *omPeepingMan
over a year ago

ossett

I had same tonight, looking for younger man with tattoos and stubble, I said it's a shame were not close, she then said, why, have u looked in mirror. Bare in mind she has a picture of her vagina and Bum, but they look like a google image. Rude is not the word

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had same tonight, looking for younger man with tattoos and stubble, I said it's a shame were not close, she then said, why, have u looked in mirror. Bare in mind she has a picture of her vagina and Bum, but they look like a google image. Rude is not the word "

Did 'she' have verifications? I do wonder if some (or a lot) of them are guys hiding behind a fake profile who just enjoy trolling people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't see much wrong with you tbh, apart from the 70 miles between us

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Can't see much wrong with you tbh, apart from the 70 miles between us

He's closer to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't see much wrong with you tbh, apart from the 70 miles between us

He's closer to me

Damn!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hard to see what is attractive.. A cock pic oh lordy another one. Just that see so many lol

Attractive profile, no. Boring..

Did she see a face pic? If so it was her choice to put you in your cocky place.

This is cyber this is full of mental patients. Get over it and forget her. To me you have taken it badly.

We are not all meant to be attracted.

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By *omPeepingMan
over a year ago

ossett

Did 'she' have verifications? I do wonder if some (or a lot) of them are guys hiding behind a fake profile who just enjoy trolling people. "

Yes 5, but not meets. Always got told, if it's not good, don't say it.

Thanks hotbetty and wyrdwomen, shame were not all together

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks everyone for the discussion, of course attractiveness is subjective.

And of course if people think I'm cocky when I say I'm "attractive" then again that's their take on my words. By no means do I think I'm gods gift, but I think I'm a reasonable looking bloke and I don't think there's anything wrong with expressing a bit of confidence, personally anyway, works for some and not for others.

But on the whole this has been much more beneficial than first feared!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hard to see what is attractive.. A cock pic oh lordy another one. Just that see so many lol

Attractive profile, no. Boring..

Did she see a face pic? If so it was her choice to put you in your cocky place.

This is cyber this is full of mental patients. Get over it and forget her. To me you have taken it badly.

We are not all meant to be attracted.

I fear you've missed my point, yes I did, 2 in fact, the named lady also just has pictures of her Tits.

I'd also like to point out that my profile, whilst not being the world's most detailed, is still more detailed yours, pot kettle black comes to mind.

I fully understand that it's her choice to "put me in my cocky place" but it's a rude and Ill mannered choice that pushes away genuine people from swinging, assuming that she's a genuine swinger, surely you don't want that? And what's more, why? Why is being rude acceptable on a site that should be fun for everyone?

Well true, I should get over it, you're right, but as many people as possible should have as good a experience as possible, as previously mentioned I don't see why people can't just be nicer??? Is that really a ridiculous thing?

IMO your opinions and views are damaging for the image of swinging and the site itself, I think that you've basically made it out to be a hypocritical school of nasty nut jobs. And as to why anyone would want to be a part of that is beyond me.

But your opinion is valid and respected, live and let live and all that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fair she prefers black but prefer hints that she isn't counting white men out... thanks for the support, genuinely unexpected!"

But in your first post you said that you matched her criteria? But that's clearly not the case. Her alleged response was uncalled for but maybe she was just fed up of messages from people who ignore her preferences?

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