FabSwingers.com forum: Intimate relationships SEX.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Some must find it hard here. When you have sex with a person you do get close showing yourself and intimate cant be easy if not feel comfortable enough and not always the time on meets too... sure lots here do worrie about things when theres no need too. Maybe thats why alot of singles bottle out of meets as thay really dont know how thay will cope. The Intimaece put them off maybe . Just had a lady mail saying let down from a new swinger here i was thinking why why thay doing this alot here ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

maybe not relationships as i know some swing dont really need to know alot about them at all ....... just sex but is intimate thing we do ..... no matter how you look at it.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I know what you mean! I'm one of the one's that need to really know someone first. I know a lot of people don't like that but I am up front about it and it is in my profile, so hey ho xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeh a agree it must be difficult for single peeps we have a lot of respect for them, we as a couple can bounce of each other where single's obviously can't - and to follow up with what is expected of them takes a lot of bottle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From a guys point of _iew well this guy anyway with sex comes intimacy too. I always have regular meets with the same people, I could not have a one off as with one offs there's no intimacy in It

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"From a guys point of _iew well this guy anyway with sex comes intimacy too. I always have regular meets with the same people, I could not have a one off as with one offs there's no intimacy in It"

but does'nt every meet start out as a one off?

if its good then do it again but if not then you won't want to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"From a guys point of _iew well this guy anyway with sex comes intimacy too. I always have regular meets with the same people, I could not have a one off as with one offs there's no intimacy in It"

Yes you have a point but where do regular meets come from if they're not one offs to start off with?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"From a guys point of _iew well this guy anyway with sex comes intimacy too. I always have regular meets with the same people, I could not have a one off as with one offs there's no intimacy in It"
lovely to here that .... when you first started out did you worrie or could handle it .... everyones so diffrent here i know.

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By *istress-MazikeenWoman
over a year ago

bolton

"From a guys point of _iew well this guy anyway with sex comes intimacy too. I always have regular meets with the same people, I could not have a one off as with one offs there's no intimacy in It"

But how do you know they will be regular meets after the first time?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"From a guys point of _iew well this guy anyway with sex comes intimacy too. I always have regular meets with the same people, I could not have a one off as with one offs there's no intimacy in Itlovely to here that .... when you first started out did you worrie or could handle it .... everyones so diffrent here i know."

Well, for me, amd I have just started out really...i like to chat to people a bit first and possibly meet upo somewhere neutral. There has to be some chemistry, if it's a couple there is all the male-male dynamics to suss out as well. Not everyone can be arsed with the getting to know you bit but hey ho...so what. Life is long and this is supposed to be fun....and it is...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"From a guys point of _iew well this guy anyway with sex comes intimacy too. I always have regular meets with the same people, I could not have a one off as with one offs there's no intimacy in It

But how do you know they will be regular meets after the first time?"
Because it was good and thay are going back for more like me tomorrow with a man i have seen before. lol fingers crossed be as good as last time. Was mind blowing i was on a sex high for days after. jo xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

may be im the odd one out

but the last thing i want is intimacy from people

saucy sexy outrageous lust yes - but i dont want to get emotionally close to another guy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"may be im the odd one out

but the last thing i want is intimacy from people

saucy sexy outrageous lust yes - but i dont want to get emotionally close to another guy

Emotional closeness ain't got nothing to do with it. I do have to like em though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"may be im the odd one out

but the last thing i want is intimacy from people

saucy sexy outrageous lust yes - but i dont want to get emotionally close to another guy

"
I was thinking just taking your kit off was getting intimate .. when thay have there cock inside or fingers playing thay must be. Yes i love passiont lusfull sex nothing like it. But you get some i am told cant even be kissed some you only tuch in place thay say .Was thinking maybe why some bottle out of meeting cant cope.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"may be im the odd one out

but the last thing i want is intimacy from people

saucy sexy outrageous lust yes - but i dont want to get emotionally close to another guy

But you are part of a couple!!! There is a big difference!

When I started out, I didn't worry if I could handle it as I wasn't looking for a relationship, just some 'good' company now and again....5 years on I'm probably a lot fussier to my detrement, but I enjoy the social aspect as well and prefer an evening and all nighter, which includes drinks, food and fun...we all have our different ways and that is mine!

Would much prefer regular fun though but each to their own....oh and still looking....(but wont hold breath!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging sex isn't the same as husband / wife sex, or boyfriend / girlfriend sex.

Well, it isn't as far as we are concerned.

People who don't or can't differentiate are the ones who often get dissappointed

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I'm not really sure of the question...

Do you mean do I, as a single, find it difficult not to get intimate with people I meet?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm not really sure of the question...

Do you mean do I, as a single, find it difficult not to get intimate with people I meet?

"
No . But some new and people who worrie about things could be put off meeting . When day come because of it. Lady i know mailed today saying let down from a new person here .. then go on to say he dont kiss other things . Just never had a man like that myself thinking why thats all.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I'm not really sure of the question...

Do you mean do I, as a single, find it difficult not to get intimate with people I meet?

No . But some new and people who worrie about things could be put off meeting . When day come because of it. Lady i know mailed today saying let down from a new person here .. then go on to say he dont kiss other things . Just never had a man like that myself thinking why thats all."

Sorry... I think maybe my confusion came over wrong... and I think I'm maybe being blonde cause I still don't get what you're actually asking.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Swinging sex isn't the same as husband / wife sex, or boyfriend / girlfriend sex.

Well, it isn't as far as we are concerned.

People who don't or can't differentiate are the ones who often get dissappointed

I know what you mean but from a single female all I am saying I personally need to have some sort of connection, I mean I know I could have a meet everynight of the week if I wanted (just because I am a single female, no big headedness on my part!)but my own standards and preference would not allow that, plus I do value the social side as well, not just sex in my book, but as the forums seem to say on nearly every post, it's down to personal choice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to chat for a while before I meet for 2 reasons.

First off, I need to feel comfortable about meeting them when I will be on my own and potentially inviting them into my home.

Secondly, I like to be able to have a natter and enjoy good company, the sex is just a part of the meet for me. I usually like to meet in a pub first and I hate the idea of being sat across from someone thinking, how dull is this man.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm not really sure of the question...

Do you mean do I, as a single, find it difficult not to get intimate with people I meet?

Sorry... I think maybe my confusion came over wrong... and I think I'm maybe being blonde cause I still don't get what you're actually asking.

"
my friend made me think ... thats all why some maybe let others down on sites like this as cant cope with swinging when the day come.. I was thinking it must be hard for some ..people have feelings worries are not just peaces of meat.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

" my friend made me think ... thats all why some maybe let others down on sites like this as cant cope with swinging when the day come.. I was thinking it must be hard for some ..people have feelings worries are not just peaces of meat."

Okay cool... I think I've got you.

And after all that I can't really answer it cause it's not something that would cross my mind prior to a meet as a reason to cancel.

If you're planning on having sex with someone, in my _iew, you already are planning on being intimate with them physically. If it's a worry that you're going to find yourself getting intimate emotionally then I'd perhaps question whether swinging is right for you.

However, having said that, I suppose like others have said, do get intimate with the people I swing with both on a physical and emotional level because I don't simply fuck. I want to like the people I fuck and ultimately I want some form of friendship. It doesn't have to be some major deal but if I can't have a giggle with the people I have sex with then it's no fun for me.

I don't even know if I've answered your question or not but that's my _iew on what I think you mean.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

You have Dirty so well done!!!

Probably better than I did, but I'm with your sentiments!!!

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"From a guys point of _iew well this guy anyway with sex comes intimacy too. I always have regular meets with the same people, I could not have a one off as with one offs there's no intimacy in It"

What if the person you have the first meet with doesn't see it worthwhile seeing you again?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like to chat for a while before I meet for 2 reasons.

First off, I need to feel comfortable about meeting them when I will be on my own and potentially inviting them into my home.

ditto, apart from the man bit. You been reading my mind???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like to chat for a while before I meet for 2 reasons.

First off, I need to feel comfortable about meeting them when I will be on my own and potentially inviting them into my home.

ditto, apart from the man bit. You been reading my mind???"

I knew you'd say that...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like to chat for a while before I meet for 2 reasons.

First off, I need to feel comfortable about meeting them when I will be on my own and potentially inviting them into my home.

ditto, apart from the man bit. You been reading my mind???

I knew you'd say that..."

yeah but i knew that you knew that i knew you'd say that too

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"What if the person you have the first meet with doesn't see it worthwhile seeing you again?"

That's always a possibility... so I guess you put it down to experience and move on to the next inter_iewee!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What if the person you have the first meet with doesn't see it worthwhile seeing you again?

That's always a possibility... so I guess you put it down to experience and move on to the next inter_iewee!

where can i pick up an application form

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like to chat for a while before I meet for 2 reasons.

First off, I need to feel comfortable about meeting them when I will be on my own and potentially inviting them into my home.

ditto, apart from the man bit. You been reading my mind???

I knew you'd say that...

yeah but i knew that you knew that i knew you'd say that too

Now, now, let's not try to be clever

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"I'm not really sure of the question...

Do you mean do I, as a single, find it difficult not to get intimate with people I meet?

Sorry... I think maybe my confusion came over wrong... and I think I'm maybe being blonde cause I still don't get what you're actually asking.

my friend made me think ... thats all why some maybe let others down on sites like this as cant cope with swinging when the day come.. I was thinking it must be hard for some ..people have feelings worries are not just peaces of meat."

I think it is more likely the case that he'd jerked off after arranging the meet, had a second look and couldn't be bothered as his tea was nearly ready.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think everyone gets pre-meet nerves, those who can't handle them take the easy way out and cancel or no show and take the pressure off themselves.

Others fight through the pre-meet nerves and find out it's never as bad as you imagined. Every meet I've had after a few mins you relax, have a little flirt, bit of banter then lust takes over and having sex is the most natural thing in the world, what we're here on the earth to do!

I don't really consider the intamcy part, that's much more to do with the mind than body I think. That's why I don't understand the people who don't kiss but it's okay to stick your knob in their fanny, I can seperate the intimacy from the sex but they can only do so with some acts and not with others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like intimacy, I like emotion and I love sex. I want it all......without strings. So although I like meeting some couples, the best meets for me will always be intimate unrushed one on ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always meet socially for lunch/dinner depending on my mood! Only once in three years have I walked out on a social meet and two I suddenly only wanted coffee as their pictures were years old.

The social aspect is also important to me: I need to see how I'm treated in public before inviting someone into my home or going to theirs.

I have to like them to be intimate but I don't get emotional! I'm not looking to move in and go shopping for soft furnishings.

Between meets we keep in touch: one of my meets we speak every day and have done for three years. He's seen me at my absolute worst and his face still lights up and his cock go rock hard. We're good friends but neither of us encroaches on the others life or wants to.

I have several playmates I've known for years, it just gets better. If we don't contact each other in a few weeks there's no sulking, temper tantrums, wondering who the other is with. We really are friends with benefits.

I don't want my mind, body and soul entwined with another, but I do want my body entwined with others on a regular basis!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think it is more likely the case that he'd jerked off after arranging the meet, had a second look and couldn't be bothered as his tea was nearly ready."
And i bet your right lol trust you to think of the teas ready made me smile here xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the way Master and I like it scares of so many people. We make it clear its pure sex, no intimacy.. Its not that I am not capable of it..as if Master is there they get to see a totally different side.

But I dont need tender touches, kisses, or even foreplay from a playmate.. We have a select few guys now that are always happy to help.. but new offers we find that the run a mile when it gets to the meet is about 9 out of ten.. lol

We are always upfront and explain how we play.. Some guys of course love that its in, play and gone again. :D

So I think it works both ways... I think more are expecting a little intimacy than not. I think a single coming in to share in a couple are always going to be nervous....

Katie. x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Intimacy ? Is it not getting your kit off shagging a person doing things like four play Just that. ? or am i going mad thinking it is ? yes swinging is sex with out ties i know ... but sex is sex and intimacy take place if thay lay a hand or lips on you and sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Intimacy ? Is it not getting your kit off shagging a person doing things like four play Just that. ? or am i going mad thinking it is ? yes swinging is sex with out ties i know ... but sex is sex and intimacy take place if thay lay a hand or lips on you and sex."

I think you're confusing "intimate" and "intimacy"...there is a subtle difference.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am always getting guys shocked I want sex for sex.. not for affection or anything, but I like the physical part with others, the emotional part with one. :D

Simples to me.

Katie. x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think you're confusing "intimate" and "intimacy"...there is a subtle difference."
whats the diffrents i am not x chating about love or things like that ... just skin to skin

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I am always getting guys shocked I want sex for sex.. not for affection or anything, but I like the physical part with others, the emotional part with one. :D

Simples to me.

Katie. x"
as long as your having fun and getting out of swinging what you need xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"whats the diffrents i am not x chating about love or things like that ... just skin to skin"

Well I wouldnt kiss a meet, thats a big difference, I wouldnt expect a meet to run his hands over me in an intimate way.. hands on hips while fucking yes.. I wouldnt want arms around me either..

To be fair apart from maybe touching my tits or Arse I cant think of a time that a man lays a hand on me..

Oh maybe a feel of my pussy.. :D

There is a big difference to how I have sex with my Partner to a play meet.

The gap isnt perhaps as big for some couples as I know some couples like to kiss and touch.

Katie. x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"whats the diffrents i am not x chating about love or things like that ... just skin to skin

Well I wouldnt kiss a meet, thats a big difference, I wouldnt expect a meet to run his hands over me in an intimate way.. hands on hips while fucking yes.. I wouldnt want arms around me either..

To be fair apart from maybe touching my tits or Arse I cant think of a time that a man lays a hand on me..

Oh maybe a feel of my pussy.. :D

There is a big difference to how I have sex with my Partner to a play meet.

The gap isnt perhaps as big for some couples as I know some couples like to kiss and touch.

Katie. x"
well you come across here as a very happy lady so you know what your up too xx just you do get some people here find it hard to kiss, give oral, for some its not that easy even on a swing site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its about being true to yourself. I think men sometimes feel a little pressured to perform in from of a man that knows the woman so well ( in the case of single men and couples)

We just know what we want and it takes a bit of finding but we do find people that match that.. and we all have lots of fun. :D

Katie.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"From a guys point of _iew well this guy anyway with sex comes intimacy too. I always have regular meets with the same people, I could not have a one off as with one offs there's no intimacy in It"

all first meets are possible one offs surely?

im quite a touchy, feely, intimate person, i know the different between sex and love and for me with sex comes intamacy and im not afraid to show it lol some feel that if you get to lovely with someone they my read it the wrong way so are a little stand offish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"From a guys point of _iew well this guy anyway with sex comes intimacy too. I always have regular meets with the same people, I could not have a one off as with one offs there's no intimacy in It

all first meets are possible one offs surely?

I don't think you can have sex with someone without getting intimate, or you just end up using someone. I know it is about having mutual fun, but I have to feel something for the person I am with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How is It using.. I want sex, they want sex... I don't need any intimacy to get in the mood.. I get that elsewhere, not from a guy I'm meeting for a quick meet.

Katie. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I enjoy meets with couples ,more than with singles, because with a couple I feel more at easy most of them are not looking for anying more than good sex , but with a single it can be more intimate ,and that for me can send out the wrong message. It happed to me before; I thought I could just have sex and not get involved, and boy was I wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"From a guys point of _iew well this guy anyway with sex comes intimacy too. I always have regular meets with the same people, I could not have a one off as with one offs there's no intimacy in It

but does'nt every meet start out as a one off?

if its good then do it again but if not then you won't want to

point well made.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you can be intimate with someone you meet off here.

i have and it has worked for me and against me.

but if thats the type of thing the woman your meeting likes then go ahead.

can make for a really great time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How is It using.. I want sex, they want sex... I don't need any intimacy to get in the mood.. I get that elsewhere, not from a guy I'm meeting for a quick meet.

Katie. X "

Maybe that is where I am going wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"From a guys point of _iew well this guy anyway with sex comes intimacy too. I always have regular meets with the same people, I could not have a one off as with one offs there's no intimacy in It

all first meets are possible one offs surely?

I don't think you can have sex with someone without getting intimate, or you just end up using someone. I know it is about having mutual fun, but I have to feel something for the person I am with"

oh yeah believe me you can, ive met guys where sex has seemed so clinical, i met one guy and he never touched me at all, he lay on the bed with his hands behind his head and just wanted me to alternate between giving him a bj nd riding him, at first i did cause i thought it was a bit of a joke but when i realised he was seriously just going to lay there with hands behind head i got dressed and buggered off lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"From a guys point of _iew well this guy anyway with sex comes intimacy too. I always have regular meets with the same people, I could not have a one off as with one offs there's no intimacy in It

all first meets are possible one offs surely?

I don't think you can have sex with someone without getting intimate, or you just end up using someone. I know it is about having mutual fun, but I have to feel something for the person I am with

I must be a bit old fashioned then, I have to feel something, not into clinical sex, where is the fun, for both people

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By *onyneMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

as a single man who sometimes meets couples, the loveliest experiences have been with people who are obviously very close to each other and really enjoy involvong someone else. it is a privelige to be involved in that scenario and great to feel part of that intimacy. the worst thing is when someone is doing something to keep the other person happy...

you can't mistake those good experiences for them having 'real feelings' for you, other than getting on and enjoying the whole thing. good friendships can build up for sure, but it's not like you think you will eventually be asked to move in! [though i suppose that must happen].

with single people there is much more possibility that the physical closeness can lead to more of a relationship, but you have to be careful with these things and be honest throughout...and the last thing that should happen is the breaking up of existing relationships

intimacy is great, and i don't really want to have sex without it, but that comes in levels and you have to be aware of what is happening.

not sure if that helps at all...but it's just my thoughts.

tony

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"From a guys point of _iew well this guy anyway with sex comes intimacy too. I always have regular meets with the same people, I could not have a one off as with one offs there's no intimacy in It

all first meets are possible one offs surely?

I don't think you can have sex with someone without getting intimate, or you just end up using someone. I know it is about having mutual fun, but I have to feel something for the person I am with

all get bad one naughty xx

time for a good one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont think it's clinical sex when no touching and kissing it just depends on the people. We always explain how we play and we have so much fun lol

The guys we see come back too so guessing they have a good time too.

One thing worth mentioning is that when master and I invite a guy or guys to join us with Master joining in the only rule is no kissing me.... They then get to see a much more intimate side of me because when master is there in person it's different.

When I play while master watches its dirty, fun sex.... I have only had one guy get there and not manage to play lol... I am quite good at visually and verbally getting the gentleman in the mood first...

Katie x

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

intimate????

I just bend em over, slip it in... rock back and forward... splat.

offer a wet wipe..

and say.. 'is that your bus.'

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"intimate????

I just bend em over, slip it in... rock back and forward... splat.

offer a wet wipe..

and say.. 'is that your bus.'

"
you paint pics in my head here ...lol

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By *eaboMan
over a year ago

marden

i think the difference is physical intimacy and mental intimacy.

Physical intimacy leads to good sex, both parties are relaxed and comfortable with each other. But mental intimacy gives a deeper connection, a deeper knowledge of each other's wants and desires. I think it leads to mindblowing sex.

Hence swinging sex is totaly different to the sex between couples. I have a very close friend i met off here, we spend time together, and don't have sex everytime we meet, but the sex is amazing. Neither of us wants to live in each others pockets and if we don't speak or text for a week it is not a problem. I also meet couples and single ladies and have great sex with them but the sex is just sex without the deeper, fuller satisfaction that comes with being mentally intimate.

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