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Porn and expectations on men

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Has porn given women unrealistic expectations of what a man should do in bed?

Over my time on fab I have noticed more ladies asking are you hung, are you a stayer, do you take control etc and I have to ask myself is this down to porn

Let's be honest as swingers we are very sexualy liberated people but more and more I am seeing women who expect men to be rugby player fit with a Mr Grey bag of toys, inventive and able to Dom the Fuck out of them. And they seem genuinely surprised when they get a 2 min shag before you wipe your cock on the curtains and leave

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By *landfordfabbersCouple
over a year ago

Blandford ish

The issue ( for single men) is there is so much choice for girls and even couples,

So they can be choosey, they can say I want ..... With ...... Size cock etc and still get a choice of 5 guys in the local area! So I think it's a case of not making do, if I am gonna open my door to a single guy and let him get intimate with me, and I have a choice of 1000 or more I'll narrow the search by my criteria! Make any sense?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/11/15 09:18:55]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Porn has had no influence on sex for me, well maybe a little on blow jobs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See my answer on t'other thread. It wasn't gender specific.

Mrs x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Excellent question posed by the OP

I have no issues with watching porn and have even been in a few "home movies" taken at party - but would agree the these testosterone fuelled - Viagra feed porn star men, do leave us mere mortals in the shade but to be honest, I wouldn't want my life to be like theirs - would you ?

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By *rnortholtMan
over a year ago

Waveney Valley

Really?

I think it's far more the case that women get the yucky end of the stick.

Too many men now seem to _iew porn as a manual of how and what to do. So there's an expectation of a prolonged BJ followed by fingers inside going like piston rods - because she has to gush! Then into multi-position with reg arse slapping, a quick bit of anal and then money shot.

All or none may work for some but too often I've seen women where there are several men about getting the works unless they strenuously object.

As a bloke, I know I'm not going to match your average porn star physically, but hey I feel a lot less pressure as a fella than I see some women come under.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think women _iew porn differently than men and are less likely to objectify and expect their man to be studly good fuk or king cock.

Women tend to _iew sex with a more rounded _iew in my opinion and look for more things that stimulate them in a partner than are they capable of bedroom olympics

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By *rnortholtMan
over a year ago

Waveney Valley


"I think women _iew porn differently than men and are less likely to objectify and expect their man to be studly good fuk or king cock.

Women tend to _iew sex with a more rounded _iew in my opinion and look for more things that stimulate them in a partner than are they capable of bedroom olympics "

We're not that shallow, surely?

Nice legs btw!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think it's far more the case that women get the yucky end of the stick."

Is that not what ladies want?

They want pics of them too. Lots of them.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I never watch porn

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

More often than not, swingers profess to be the sexual elite and look their nose down at 'vanillas'

Little wonder people expect what they read

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The way I enjoy sex bears no resemblance to typical porn. Staged, affected porn with actresses paid to make the right noises and two litres of Evian to make sure they 'gush', is an utter turn off.

Not every woman has unrealistic expectations.

The difference between the genders as far as porn standards are concerned, are as follows;

Men may feel pressured to up their game, workout more, go for longer, or hone their technique, as a result of watching porn. So if they give in to the pressure, they self-improve. Happy days.

If a woman gives into the expectation porn engenders, she has to be choked with a cock, splattered with cum, have her anus stretched and wrecked, her arse slapped, and her urethra and vagina tramatised in order to squirt. Over time, these things have an effect.

If men are feeling pressure, welcome to our world!

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By *othemanMan
over a year ago

Staffordshire/leicester

Hi all,

I'd like to get in here and say that you can't underestimate the power that porn has on sexual activity between people in society in general. Let alone people who are swingers. Porn stars are held up as unconsciously sexual role models. However their behaviour has very little to do with swinging. It's more about selling a product or image of sex, in the same way that James Bond sells the idea of what a spy is. As a black single male on his site I come under a tremendous pressure not just to be able to perform. But I must meet the standard of having a huge cock and be able keep my stamina going like Mo Farah or someones going to be dissapointed. Whether this is a true expectation or just what I feel I'm sometimes unsure about. But again the influence of porn in this area cannot be underestimated. Porn films especially with black guys and white guys cultivates a myth as all these guys are well hung. You never see guys with average size or small cocks or women with small breasts. It's just not real, it's not an image to follow really. Jotheman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi all,

I'd like to get in here and say that you can't underestimate the power that porn has on sexual activity between people in society in general. Let alone people who are swingers. Porn stars are held up as unconsciously sexual role models. However their behaviour has very little to do with swinging. It's more about selling a product or image of sex, in the same way that James Bond sells the idea of what a spy is. As a black single male on his site I come under a tremendous pressure not just to be able to perform. But I must meet the standard of having a huge cock and be able keep my stamina going like Mo Farah or someones going to be dissapointed. Whether this is a true expectation or just what I feel I'm sometimes unsure about. But again the influence of porn in this area cannot be underestimated. Porn films especially with black guys and white guys cultivates a myth as all these guys are well hung. You never see guys with average size or small cocks or women with small breasts. It's just not real, it's not an image to follow really. Jotheman."

I love your honesty. I agree.

If only people could see it as an extreme representation of real sex, as opposed to a standard we should aspire to!

Xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From some of the profiles/posts from some women and couples on here it does seem that they're expecting a professional performance from a normal bloke and then complaining bitterly when that person turns out to be a normal bloke not a porn star. I can understand wanting that to fulfil a specific fantasy, but if I wanted a big cock, Adonis like body, stayed, repeater, heavy cummer etc. and all those things were important to me - I'd be better off paying for that so I could get exactly what I wanted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can only speak for myself and say that porn hasn't given me any expectations. Nothing I see on a screen is reality. The only thing porn did influence me on is my passion and bisexual or gay men. I like watching them have sex and would like to know how it would be in real life. What I don't expect is for it to be exactly as it is on my screen. My realist personality has something to do with that I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"From some of the profiles/posts from some women and couples on here it does seem that they're expecting a professional performance from a normal bloke and then complaining bitterly when that person turns out to be a normal bloke not a porn star. I can understand wanting that to fulfil a specific fantasy, but if I wanted a big cock, Adonis like body, stayed, repeater, heavy cummer etc. and all those things were important to me - I'd be better off paying for that so I could get exactly what I wanted. "

Quite so.

When people hear I'm Dominant, they expect the full Nazi uniform, riding crop, strap-on, spitting theatre of FemDom porn. A) None of that is real, just well paid actresses playing a part, and B) Why would I do that for a stranger?

Paying a professional is the best option for those with unrealistic expectations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The issue ( for single men) is there is so much choice for girls and even couples,

So they can be choosey, they can say I want ..... With ...... Size cock etc and still get a choice of 5 guys in the local area! So I think it's a case of not making do, if I am gonna open my door to a single guy and let him get intimate with me, and I have a choice of 1000 or more I'll narrow the search by my criteria! Make any sense?"

I agree with this.

I personally don't like huge dicks or repeaters or most of the other things you mention from porn. And I say it often enough in the forums. However, I do have a lot of choice on here. So given the choice, I am more likely to go for someone who I perceive as better than average. It has nothing to do with porn for me. It is all about choice.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can only be as good as your playmate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where BDSM is concerned I couldn't agree with you more cleo I have seen lots of guys and fems who have seen some porn or 50 shades of shite liked it and thought hey Ho I am a dom and their practices have been frightening BDSM is in my _iew an art that must be respected and practiced safely Mr grey has a lot to answer to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I put pressure on myself sometimes

only because i want to make sure i please the woman im meeting

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By *otty69Couple
over a year ago

bedford

Its not just women who have expectation from Porn, lots of men are guilty too... common sense should kick in and realise this isnt every day stuff, its made to sell... Not all are sexual plays are porn material some are just intimate and loving as opposed to swinging from chandeliers....lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Porn is what it is porn. Yeah it's great to watch if your feeling horny or want to get turned on but it's just people acting.

I've dated a few 'porn' girls in the past and yes the sex was pretty good but is it the best I've had no, not at all! Great sex I feel comes from having a connection with the person your having sex with. Yeah we can all bang away with some random but that buzz you get from someone who means something to you well that's better than fucking any 'pornstar'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My expectations come from previous meets, and relationships. I'm also more likely to know what i want from what i don't want.

I'm looking for more of what i've enjoyed doing and less of what leaves me feeling like shit or used.

Big cocks coz i like how they feel inside me, been lucky enough to be in two relationships where the guy was big. Plus most guys in this area tend to be big also. Always loved cum and had a thing for this, so i like/prefer heavy cummers or repeaters.

I was brought up to have my needs ignored completely unfortunately, so got into shit relationships at first, but as i go older (and left my abusers in my past) i realised i have control over my life and can have what i want with some compromise if it's worth that, and without compromise if no-one else is sacrificing anything for me.

Don't see why i shouldn't have what i want on an NSA site. Not willing to compromise for nothing in return, in fact on a site like this (NSA) you shouldn't compromise coz guys will turn up, cum, and fuck off in 2 mins if you let them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Has porn given women unrealistic expectations of what a man should do in bed?

Over my time on fab I have noticed more ladies asking are you hung, are you a stayer, do you take control etc and I have to ask myself is this down to porn

Let's be honest as swingers we are very sexualy liberated people but more and more I am seeing women who expect men to be rugby player fit with a Mr Grey bag of toys, inventive and able to Dom the Fuck out of them. And they seem genuinely surprised when they get a 2 min shag before you wipe your cock on the curtains and leave "

Hahahaha I love it.. Obviously apart from looks n the rocking body I'm good..ive a saying , set no expectations as u wont b let down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Am loving that we have 2 threads running together giving a good over_iew of thoughts on the matter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Where BDSM is concerned I couldn't agree with you more cleo I have seen lots of guys and fems who have seen some porn or 50 shades of shite liked it and thought hey Ho I am a dom and their practices have been frightening BDSM is in my _iew an art that must be respected and practiced safely Mr grey has a lot to answer to "

Oh my God....

Do you know how many times I've said those exact words to people?

It's just weird!

You are my twin!

Fifty Shades Of Shite! Heehee!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to say, 'Mr Grey is a simplistic, abusive moron', though......

Xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Separated at birth cleo lol and it's only gonna get worse when part pooh comes out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Separated at birth cleo lol and it's only gonna get worse when part pooh comes out "

There's a sequel?

Great.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish you were nearer Manchester I think we would set the bloody world to rights over a voddy or two hun lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I tend to say, 'Mr Grey is a simplistic, abusive moron', though......

Xxxx"

Makes me wonder what went through her head when she wrote it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pound signs hun nothing more nothing less

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You can only be as good as your playmate. "

Very honest...Very perceptive...Very true.... yet overlooked instantly as it bares responsibility.

I've read through all of this thread and 90% infer about the performance of the other person....best sex happens because of a mental connection....Most of the 'filters' used are external and unfortunately in effect diminish the potential of amazing sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The issue ( for single men) is there is so much choice for girls and even couples,

So they can be choosey, they can say I want ..... With ...... Size cock etc and still get a choice of 5 guys in the local area! So I think it's a case of not making do, if I am gonna open my door to a single guy and let him get intimate with me, and I have a choice of 1000 or more I'll narrow the search by my criteria! Make any sense?"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Has porn given women unrealistic expectations of what a man should do in bed? ... they seem genuinely surprised when they get a 2 min shag before you wipe your cock on the curtains and leave "

Cock curtain wiping okay in reality then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not the easiest thing to "Dom the fuck" out of someone you don't know. I've never had the connection with another woman. Don't get me wrong, if you tied up and fucked then we're your man and woman lol

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By *ilke0131Couple
over a year ago

Edinburgh

We have reached a maturity whereby we can see that porn has as much resemblance to real life/sex/relationships as a Tom and Jerry cartoon. Even in clubs, we both find the stuff on-screen a real distraction; we are much more interested in what the folk around us are up to. The big worry is that impressionable adolescents are getting the wrong message from watching porn. Not every guy has a six-pack and is hung like donkey, neither does every woman want to "have her arse destroyed", to quote some of the labels. If you want 10 inches bouncing off your cervix, that is up to you, but a few extra pounds and some stretch marks are better evidence of true life and experience to be treasured.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same for us men, the expectation that we want women to suck our cocks like a pro. I think it is to much porn wathcings lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well said darlin my other half is in my eyes yummy hot horny and perfect for me and I for him and yes we have our little fuk like porn stars moments and I think that's true for all cpls and singles

The truth of the matter is your hotty could be my notty your kink could be my cringe but let's be real about this we are swayed like it or not by what we see n read in the media and on porn and on the net mabe it's time we focused on what fulfills us as indiviuals through mutual concent respect experimentation and exploration of sexual desires and most of all a realisation that fantasy n real life are just that fantasy n real life and educate our our youth so they can see and understand the fundamental differences

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