FabSwingers.com forum: Are we wrong to complain???

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi all and firstly...Happy New Year to everyone.

As many of you know, we regularly hold parties with a theme of some sort. We held one such party on Friday night to help bring in 2011 with a bang.

Now for the title bit..... are we wrong to complain about the lack of respect for us and our home during one of these parties? It was a brilliant party and everyone had a good time however...... why do folks seem to disrespect peoples houses and property when they think with their genitalia??? I am not gonna list everything cos quite frankly it will sound whingy lol

We found used condoms in places that they really couldn't have fallen, someone actually threw a used one under a chair in the main bedroom when there was quite clearly a bin provided.

My little girls pillow was taken off her bed and soaked. It was obviously not meant to be used ( we have pillows for swinging parties as childs ones seem wrong somehow).

The most annoying thing was that someone took the sheepskin (faux, luckily) rug off the floor to put on the bed to shag on!!

These complaints may seem petty but at the same time, we know that we wouldn't dream of disrespecting anyone's house in this way. This is a family house so how do I explain away stray condoms to my kids when they come over??

We would appreciate your thoughts on this little rant (Jen's mainly, Marc is too laid back to worry too much)

IF you were the one to use the rug.... kindly consider yourself reprimanded and please don't do it again, it's a bugger to brush lol.

Rant over..... enjoy your day

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Bloody hell, I am glad we don't have parties if thats how people behave.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I think it's fair enough, would they do these things in their own homes? Doubtful.

I went to just a social party once, all swingers, and one couple got horribly d*unk. She fell over and broke a coffee table and locked herself in the toilet and someone proper kung foo kicked the door in, destroying it and the frame.

My mate, the wife of the couple throwing the party, was in bits and the couple who'd caused the damage were too busy pissing themselves laughing to even say sorry.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"Bloody hell, I am glad we don't have parties if thats how people behave.

Me too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont think that your been petty, I would hate it if people treated my house like that.

If you have gone to the effort of having a clean house for them and to leave bins etc for their 'rubbish' then they should be used.

However, I would be setting our kids bedrooms as strictly out of bounds.

We have been to a few social house parties and found that no matter how careful the hosts choose their attendees, there will always be someone that chooses to smoke in the house etc. Damm right rude!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you have every right to complain and need to send a stern warning to all those that attended your party. Next time you might want to consider making one bedroom the play room with loads of cushions and rugs and making sure that those who attend, know what rooms are out of bounds. Thats what a couple do when i attended a party at their house.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I used to have parties in my house..

never again.

for all the reasons mentioned above.

and one thing also to consider... is when you stop having them in your home... how many will you be invited to. You may be surprised x

Sadly many users and takers in this game.. took me a little to wise up.. but wise up I did.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think there is any point in complaining but if it's let it out and made you feel better then it's worth it.

It doesn't sound like they were deliberately disrespectful to me. Okay Okay before you shout....there weren't your family and friends were they ? You hadn't banned drink or areas of the house or told everyone that is was high tea ?

Sex , alcohol and free reign ... Experience can make you a lot more realistic about human behaviour. It's messy ....... thank God.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree whole heartedly View.

Never had a sex party in mine but im very gegarious and generous not a fool and not bitter BUT I don't have get togethers any more. People LOVE them I find, my friends generous to a fault with what they bring round - but fuck me will they put the effort into housing one ? No

Pardon my language .... it's there in my head n gets typed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

NOT had a party at mine yet ! but people should respect your belongings , i once had a few couples round ,and one of the ladies went to the front of my house HALF NAKED for a cigarette ! i could of died , FRANKIE XX

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Someone I used to speak to had a party once and found the same problem with the condoms, but also had her neighbour knock on the door the next day asking her to go clean up the neighbours garden as people had been throwing their used condoms out of the bedroom window

Yes Granny, you are expecting people to have sex and not cream scones and jam, but surely they could clean up their own mess in the bins provided.

I am just laughing at the thought of it in our house , what with Mr R and his OCD, he would be having a breakdown !!

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

You know when they say rub your pets nose in it if they dirty the house

maybe if people thought they were going to have their noses rubbed into the used condoms littered around they would put them in the bin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had a party once and never again after someone was sick on the carpet and covered it with the cushions of the sofa,we didnt know intill we were cleaning up the next day.

We have also heard of used condoms left in a childs toybox,now that is utterly disgraceful.

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By *imal75Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Morning Guys, Thought I would add my input because the last party I went turned out pear shaped. Well the host were great and very welcoming.

During the party I a couple were getting really d*unk and you could see them spill drink on the carpet! No respect what so ever! Secondly I was told by the host the following day, some-one had been stealing! Shoes were missing and all sorts. Not good for the host making an effort to make everyone happy.

I mean myself I would at least help with the cleaning, washing up glasses after the party or bring a case Of beer. ( Contribute some how ) Some-people just take things for granted and taking the biscuit!

But yeah, i would make strict rules next time! No entry into the kids rooms, smoking in the back, and I would vet the people you invite also. Vimal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You know when they say rub your pets nose in it if they dirty the house

maybe if people thought they were going to have their noses rubbed into the used condoms littered around they would put them in the bin

Honeys kinky side comin out again i see xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/01/11 11:17:48]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I used to have parties in my house..

never again.

for all the reasons mentioned above.

and one thing also to consider... is when you stop having them in your home... how many will you be invited to. You may be surprised x

Sadly many users and takers in this game.. took me a little to wise up.. but wise up I did."

We used to hold parties and this is exactly what we found. Compare the number of profiles that say 'party invites welcome', to the number that say they hold parties. Bilston Your parties are great fun. Please keep holding them. I can understand your frustrations though.

xxxxx

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By *BW38jWoman
over a year ago

Dudley/Telford

i think your absolutely right to complain. you are good enough to let people into your home and they treat it like this.

dreadful. just because people are choosing an alternative lifestyle doesnt mean they can have alternative standards.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"You know when they say rub your pets nose in it if they dirty the house

maybe if people thought they were going to have their noses rubbed into the used condoms littered around they would put them in the bin

Honeys kinky side comin out again i see xx

Id be happy to do it too.......filthy buggers!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely you would shut your little girls room off and stop people going in there, that's awful.

Sorry and I may get slated for this but what did you expect? Not everyone treats things with respect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi all and firstly...Happy New Year to everyone.

As many of you know, we regularly hold parties with a theme of some sort. We held one such party on Friday night to help bring in 2011 with a bang.

We found used condoms in places that they really couldn't have fallen, someone actually threw a used one under a chair in the main bedroom when there was quite clearly a bin provided.

My little girls pillow was taken off her bed and soaked. It was obviously not meant to be used ( we have pillows for swinging parties as childs ones seem wrong somehow).

The most annoying thing was that someone took the sheepskin (faux, luckily) rug off the floor to put on the bed to shag on!!

We would appreciate your thoughts on this little rant (Jen's mainly, Marc is too laid back to worry too much)

IF you were the one to use the rug.... kindly consider yourself reprimanded and please don't do it again, it's a bugger to brush lol.

Rant over..... enjoy your day "

You have every right to complain as i would in your position.

I used to have parties many moons ago and its a learning curve.

Those folk that came to your house and disrespected it, would no longer be invited.

I vetted my guests as best i could and didnt suffer to badly actually.

All you can do is put in place the rules and hope they abide by them , knowing that if anything occurs, they dont get invited back.

Then sit back and cross ya fingers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Little girls pillow taken off her bed how was they allowed to get in? Sorry but I will say it you brought it on yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and a ps.

Views right in as much as altho they loved my parties....

I never once had an invite to theirs.

And i still get asked to hold them but as i have done my home up with some expensive furniture etc...

Its a NO chance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Little girls pillow taken off her bed how was they allowed to get in? Sorry but I will say it you brought it on yourself "

You would be suprised.

Where theres a will etc.

what i used to do on the rooms that were "closed" was to take off the handles and put them back on upside down.

Then when trying to open said doors, they would think they were locked.

worked a treat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Little girls pillow taken off her bed how was they allowed to get in? Sorry but I will say it you brought it on yourself "

what we found was that people went everywhere. Even places they were told were 'off limits.

You have to 'vet' who goes and still expect some 'problems'

We have been to Bilstons parties and they are great fun and they put a lot of work into them.

We had one lady decide to downa bottle of wine in ten mins then run out of the front door leaving it open with everyone in various states of undress. Her husband ran after her and they were not seen again(or invited).

We have some friends that are known 'squirters'. So we made sure one room was setup for them with loads of towels and waterproofs on all bedding. They were asked to stay in that room. We had no problem witht that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear what happened - cant beleive people do that, completley disrespectful and your complaint seems perfectly justified!

I've been to a couple of parties, but it was all about the fun and good times.

I'd name and shame them to avoid it happening to other people, but thats just me.

Hope you bounce back and dont let it put you off the game!

Jon

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just for the record..... we do NOT have a little girls bedroom as such. It is the "spare" room as she does not live with us. Her bed however, was clearly and distinctly out of bounds, the pillow was buried under covers and coats.

Most valuable and "stealable" stuff was also hidden away but we didn't think to hide the rugs lol.

We have held regular parties over the last couple of years and this is the first time we have had this trouble so hopefully the culprits have read and taken note.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Assume the worst in people and you will not be disappointed.

Even though I will only have smaller gatherings these days, I still assume the worst and prepare with a damage limitation exercise.

I don't go for huge lists of rules, but I do make clear zones for play, for socialising and no-goes.

I will also physically remove anyone who ignores my requests…. regardless of their state of dress.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so hopefully the culprits have read and taken note."

Hopefully but people who are willing to do stuff like that don't go holding your breath.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope the people who attended the OPs party,the ones who clearly didnt care that it was someones home reads the forums and they read this post.

Hope they feel utterly ashamed the way they have behaved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never held or been to a " swingers" party. But my experience of " ordinary "parties held in my home is that there is always one idiot who will do something wrong. Parties held for my kids when they were 18 or the like usually resulted in something damaged/ stolen or soiled.

It's really good of you to hold the parties and you have a right to complain.

I use to visit a m/f couple on a regular basis and use to take a towel with me to sit on when naked, and always took any of my used condoms and tissues away to dispose of.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi all and firstly...Happy New Year to everyone.

As many of you know, we regularly hold parties with a theme of some sort. We held one such party on Friday night to help bring in 2011 with a bang.

We found used condoms in places that they really couldn't have fallen, someone actually threw a used one under a chair in the main bedroom when there was quite clearly a bin provided.

My little girls pillow was taken off her bed and soaked. It was obviously not meant to be used ( we have pillows for swinging parties as childs ones seem wrong somehow).

The most annoying thing was that someone took the sheepskin (faux, luckily) rug off the floor to put on the bed to shag on!!

We would appreciate your thoughts on this little rant (Jen's mainly, Marc is too laid back to worry too much)

IF you were the one to use the rug.... kindly consider yourself reprimanded and please don't do it again, it's a bugger to brush lol.

Rant over..... enjoy your day "

i dont think it sounds petty, if anyone came into my house and used any of my childrens bedding to play on i was be furious, infact if they even went into one of my kids bedrooms id have been mad, people should know that kids rooms are out of bounds but sorry to say some dont care, makes you wonder if they would use their own kids things had it been their house

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By *-and-KCouple
over a year ago

Back of Beyond

We have seen this type of behaviour at party's, we are friends with the couple who host them so lend a hand. Anyone we see behaving in such a manner is spoken to, anyone seen using a room and then afterwards, finding a mess in it, would never be invited back. Anyone that has no respect for the hosts or their home would be asked to leave immediately.

A lot of these problems can be alleviated by only having a few select couples or singles invited. Once you start getting above 6-8 couples it becomes impossible to control what everyone is doing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex , alcohol and free reign ... Experience can make you a lot more realistic about human behaviour. It's messy ....... thank God. "

i think that about sums it up, drink does make people do things they may not usually do

i have seen some shocking behaviour at house parties, i remember one guy kicking a bathroom door in cause he thought his wife was in there shagging a guy, turns out it was a woman sat having a pee as the door came crashing in on her

and one guy who held regular house parties always had a bedroom locked, it was his childs bedroom who had died several years back and he had, for his own reasons kept the room as it was, and because he didnt want anyone going in he put a lock on it, some guy had seen him lock the room and later in the night had gone into his bedroom and got the key to open the locked room so he could use the room that was clearly out of bounds

and people who run about half naked outside because its not their neighbours etc at the end of the day lots of people just do not care because its not their house

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By *plpxp2Couple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

For once I'm happy that we cannot accommodate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think its disgusting and disrespectful to treat someones home in that way. Yes sex is a little messy and I think its fair to say that hosts of parties will find they have rather a lot of washing up of glasses and plates etc to do, hoovering, emptying of bins etc, but to cause damage to someones home, like kicking door frames in, absolutely disgusting. Id be fuming if I saw anyone damage my home, more than fuming, id arm myself with tools and be violent most probably.

Its disgusting going outside as well half naked, or throwing condoms in other peoples garden. Absolutely no respect for the hosts who have to live in that area, and after being very nicely invited to a party, god I can feel myself getting angry over this.

I would never act that way in someone elses home, I think its disgusting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/01/11 13:08:21]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know the OP hasnt made any mention of substantive damage, but again using items of soft furnishings to spray your semen over, what the bloody hell is wrong with some people acting like animals.

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By *uro anchorMan
over a year ago

Coventry

"For once I'm happy that we cannot accommodate

really sorry to hear what happened.. I can accomodate never really thought about having party.. wont be now..

cant believe how some people are..

hope all goes well if u have amymore xx

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By *y_funcoupleCouple
over a year ago

SHEFFIELD

the childrens bedroom/s would be a strictly OFF LIMITS non-negotiable.

Same again as anywhere all different people, some wouldn't dream off dis-respecting your home some wouldn;t give a shit!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They sound like a bunch of animals to me I wouldn't have anyone in my home I did not know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The odd time we have had a couple of people over the youngens room is out of bounds (locked) as we would just think it wrong someone having sex in there.

And.. we would only have a handful of people come that we have got to know quite well and can trust, just heard far to many bad stories to open our doors to a bunch of strangers.

Tony

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"They sound like a bunch of animals to me I wouldn't have anyone in my home I did not know"

best not accomodate then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happy new year to you both.

I have to say i think anyone who does private parties are very brave! Firstly to let strangers into your home, and strangers who have consummed alcohol leaves you open to a lot of abuse. Ive been to swingers clubs where it is a more controlled environment, there is a 'doorman' for security, and if the place gets damaged, at least its just a business premises. I guess the only way you can totally protect your home, and make sure everyone behaves themselves is to treat your play parties like a job. Which means you dont play, you keep walking round from room to room, policing your home!!! Perhaps if you banned alcohol you would have less problems?

Maybe you should ask yourselves the question, 'do i hold parties for my pleasure' or 'do i hold parties as a business and financial transaction?' If your answer is yes to the second question, then treat your parties with a more professional businesslike manner.

good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They sound like a bunch of animals to me I wouldn't have anyone in my home I did not know

best not accomodate then

I'm happy to accomidate on a 121 basis and someone I've meet a few times not a stranger

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

Wow, I'm genuinely shocked that people would behave in such a manner. Outrageous.

Having neither held nor attended a party, I did kind of assume that the invitees would be more respectful instead of behaving like 13 year olds who have had their first can of Tennant's Extra or White Lightening. I must be very naïve.

@ OP, you come across as being calm and collected compared to how I would have reacted had I been in your shoes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Carambar......thankyou for your thread. I am calm now as the party was a few days ago.... it was a different emotion when I went to tidy up and discovered my rug on the bed lol.

Hey ho.... it's a learning curve and all of your comments, both good and bad have been a big help and I will learn from the experience.

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By *heWolfMan
over a year ago

warwickshire

I vetted my guests as best i could and didnt suffer to badly actually."

My nuts did at one of your parties Peaches, when a load of you napalmed them with Veet. If I put a massive man-sized hole in the bathroom wall, in my attempt to get into hose my knackers down, I sincerely apologise!

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I vetted my guests as best i could and didnt suffer to badly actually.

Maybe it was a typo and what she meant to say was she veeted her guests as best she could

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have stopped entertaining from home, good job for cheap rooms at Travelodges that enable me to have some fun at least once a month in 2011!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I knew the culprit that had done that I'd dumped the semen stained rugs etc on them and get them to clean them, well they are the ones that made the mess, dirty bastards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I vetted my guests as best i could and didnt suffer to badly actually.

Noooooooo twasnt me honest guv

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Drink people do all sorts of strange things when had alot .... Will you have partys again ? or make rules people have to stick too after this. ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We will have other parties.... hopefully this was a one off and the culprits have read my rantings lol. As said earlier, we will learn from this experience. We have had a few parties with no nonsense before so we will see x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't think this is just confined to a swinging party, even a regular party will involve something getting trashed when people have had a few beers.

I can't accomm at the mo, but when I can later this year I won't be having parties that's for sure!

Apart from maybe a housewarming BEFORE I move anything in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We will have other parties.... hopefully this was a one off and the culprits have read my rantings lol. As said earlier, we will learn from this experience. We have had a few parties with no nonsense before so we will see x"
Do think you need house rules ... so if thay get d*unk thay know thay will pay the cleaning bill. xxx i love partys will have to come. x i bet next time thay will be really good. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know of a very nice couple who held a party only to have some unscrupulous b*stard steal £100 from their grandchild's money box and a whole bottle of expensive whiskey from their drinks cabinet.

Never make the mistake of attributing your own moral standards to people you don't know - you'll only end up disappointed or worse. There are some very nasty prats out there who simply don't give a rat's a** about others or their property.

I'd never invite strangers to a party in my own home for that very reason.

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By *ouplefunukCouple
over a year ago

North Bristol

Bloody hell that's disgusting. And the poster who said the OP bought it on themselves wants flogging - and not in a good way!

We've hosted several parties in the past, not full on orgies, but there was plenty of play involved, and no one, not one person disrespected our house, our property or us. I guess that's the benefit of "knowing" everyone we invited - on the odd occasion we didn't know someone, they were vouched for by someone we knew well.

Sorry it went so badly wrong OP, there is NEVER any excuse for that kind of behaviour in someone elses house. Filthy animals!

*Her*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its these bloody yam yams you keep inviting

not respect i tell you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cant hold parties due my circumstances . But all the parties I attend I treat the houses and hosts with the greatest respect. Who wants to find used condoms under chairs and vomit under cushions. You do wonder what state their houses are if they treat others this way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had one party at mine, and not sure I would ever do it again.... At one time I was pushed out my own bedroom being informed it was for couples only !! There were condoms left everywhere, and chewing gum stuck to the furniture...Complaints made that I didnt have porn on tv, and one person moaned all night cos she didnt like soft rock music ffs lol Aside from that I had a great time once I chilled out and have some horny memories x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we had a party last year

decided it would be fun to have a sexy dinner party - small invited group - everyone dressed up - and only one room to play in

if youwanted to play you did it in a communal room - otherwise the kitchen or outside to socialise in

it worked well but i was shattered the next day - wouldnt hold another one - i am impressed with anyone that does it on a regualar basis

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots at mine were stood outside smokig in next to nothing.. some neighbours still look at me with contempt lol

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