FabSwingers.com forum: Rules in Swinging

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why do different couples have different rules and bounderies when swinging surely when you get down to business so to speak the body takes over and you go with your instints and what feels good. Now was in chams new year eve and a lady gushed for the very first time with a guy that was not her husband. Her husband got all upset because she had never done it with him. Do you deal with it and act like a man or throw a hissy fit. Be good to see other views on this.

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By *ickey and MinnieCouple
over a year ago

South of Bath

Minnie has never done that ever so if it was her and she was having fun then id be happy

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

Different couples have different boundaries and preferences, also 'rules' - surely that has to be the case as lots of people play in different ways and want different things. Some people kiss, some don't, some people bareback - some don't - there HAS to be differences. Z

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Safe sex is a given to most but rules can be suggestive i.e no kissing, no gushing surely its out of your control and the body takes over thats my point if things are feeling good you not going to stop half way through.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do different couples have different rules and bounderies when swinging surely when you get down to business so to speak the body takes over and you go with your instints and what feels good. Now was in chams new year eve and a lady gushed for the very first time with a guy that was not her husband. Her husband got all upset because she had never done it with him. Do you deal with it and act like a man or throw a hissy fit. Be good to see other views on this."

To be honest it sounds like he should not be swinging - omg u mean she actually enjoyed herself!!! lmao of course she did... he should of been getting off on the fact she did gush does it matter who it was with?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go with the flow on meets but if people have rules then I am happy to abide by them

I love kissing though so if they had a no kissing rule then I wouldn't meet them

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By *umpingJackFlashMan
over a year ago

Somewhere near you?

"Safe sex is a given to most but rules can be suggestive i.e no kissing, no gushing surely its out of your control and the body takes over thats my point if things are feeling good you not going to stop half way through."

Sounds to me like the fella needed to ask the guy who made her gush for some tips afterward!

But he shouldn't blame the missus as its as you said, beyond control. If someone hits the right spot your not likely to stop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I go with the flow on meets but if people have rules then I am happy to abide by them

I love kissing though so if they had a no kissing rule then I wouldn't meet them"

If she was over fifty would you risk one lip ?

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By *eighleedsMan
over a year ago

leeds

As Shaz said

Certain things like a woman Gushing cannot be controlled so cannot be made a rule

other things like kissing, swallowing etc can, and a couple who set these rules should have them respected

as a single, when i get to play i play by the couples rules what ever they are, however there are somethings that cannot be controlled by either party

in the case by the OP maybe the guy in question should talk to the guy who made his wife do it and ask what it was he did, after all if they are comfortable to play, surely they are comfortable to talk about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

do not take shit.

do not wait too long.

do not expect friends requests until youve met.

dont be too nice or you'll be walked all over.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can relate to this in a way.

Chris can only usually come from penetration. He enjoys oral a lot, but finds that in order to come from it, it has to be fast and hard. I dont have the strength to suck how hard he likes it continuously. I can do a few strokes hard then I get tired. I dont just head bob up and down on the glands cos it makes me dribble. I prefer to alternate between fast and sensually slow. Whilst Chris really enjoys it, it doesnt make him come.

Also when we are together, he doesnt want to come particularly because being a little bit older, it takes him a little while to recover, so if he comes too early with a bj, he cant carry on and have the sex he wants.

Whilst swinging, women suck him. He enjoys it because he sometimes feels like being indulged and will just lay back and enjoy the sensations.

Whilst we have been swinging, 3 women have made him come whilst giving blowjobs. The first time it happened, I admit I felt a pang of inadequacy. It hit me like a bolt out of the blue because he had never come from my bj's alone. I didnt show it but he must have known cos he came over to me and said, sorry she was going fast I couldnt stop it. I felt like the worst woman in the world then, how could I make him feel guilty over enjoying himself and letting himself go because he didnt feel the need to give anything back.

I remember our next sex session he came in my mouth but I felt that he was only doing it to prove I had the skill. I accept Im not the worlds best blow jobber, but other women are great at this, why shouldnt Chris have a bit of that skill I say

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By *ibrosMan
over a year ago

harrow

I like iconic's post. She explains how you can be affected by your partners gushing, or in her case coming.

I have great admiration for men that allow (read 'encourage') their partners to fully let go. Sure, you will have experiences that you may never previously have shared as a couple. Isn't it that exploration that swinging is all about?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most couples have rules or boundaries agreed, many of these rules seem to be there to guard against the under-current of jealousy that can show it's face. There's nothing wrong with keeping certain things for just your partner, it does get tricky when one or other partner breaks a rule either on purpose or by 'accident'. That's when the under-current of feelings can show it's face. I think this happens a lot, some are better at hiding their feelings than others.

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By *y_funcoupleCouple
over a year ago

SHEFFIELD

Im not the Jealous type and seeing my Wife having fun and enjoying herself is OK by me. Knowing shes doing something shes enjoying means were both happy. As long as no ones getting hurt, play on!

I wouldnt expect Mrs Fun to do ANYTHING she didnt want to or to do something with someone she didnt want to, either.

Other couples may well be different but we dont seem to have any hangups regarding jealousy.

Mr Fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would never even have the urge to kiss someone while having sex with them though, apart from my Partner... I cant stand it.. so we make it a clear rule..

Master would love a guy to make me cum properly.. He would enjoy as much as me.. Same as I love him to have a woman on cloud 9 and her screaming as she cums.. Its why we do what we do..

But our rules are because we have things that we just are not comfy with.. so for me its no kissing, I dont like guys to stick around after.. and we always have an idea on the time scale.. mostly about 30mins to an hour.. that is more than enough for extras. :D

To the problem in the original post a good few years ago my Ex was like that... so much so I only had another man twice.. both times because it suited him. Something I would never do again. I now only do things that we enjoy.

Our rules evolve as we do though.. would also not allow anyone else by my Partner to Fist me,restrain me or do any BDSM play.. all because they take trust..

Katie. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sorry to be blunt but if he has never made her gush thats his fault not hers, and because he cant make her cum that means she has no rights to have a orgasum if she finds someone who can?

some couples can be right pratts when it comes to swinging

i remember once in a club a guy having a go at his wife cause she'd shagged 4 guys and he only shagged 2 woman, he was actually keeping count ffs !!

thanks god im single lmao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i remember once in a club a guy having a go at his wife cause she'd shagged 4 guys and he only shagged 2 woman, he was actually keeping count ffs !!

thanks god im single lmao

lol thats actually sad but funny.. :D

We keep count but only when on a mission to break a previous tally on a night out.. My Master/husband is happy for me to have as many men as I like.. as long as I enjoy myself and We are together ( or him watching)

Women for him we accept are harder to get ... as women always assume that he is lying if he says he has my permmission while working away.. Would love to watch a nice lady get his talents. lol

Katie. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sorry to be blunt but if he has never made her gush thats his fault not hers, and because he cant make her cum that means she has no rights to have a orgasum if she finds someone who can?

It might not be that he guy couldnt make her gush, but when you're in a situation that you've never found yourself in, the sheer scenario of it might make it all the more exciting.

And because a woman doesnt gush, does not mean she doesnt come.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We as a couple dont have that many rules, we go with the flow and if we are happy in that scenario then we go ahead. We always play together so we know if we are both ok.

the only rule I wouldnt allow to be broken and I would kick up a hissy fit in front of an other couple if I had to, was if the woman asked him to go bareback or tried to impale herself on his cock before he got a condom on. that applies to me too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The lady in question was out on the smoking deck she dont smoke but asked for a ciggy then brok down in tears because her fella would'nt even talk to her.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

There are couples who dont kiss, soft swing, seperate rooms, only swing together in the same room, only do oral no penetration some who go to a club and dont actually swing just lock themselves in a room all night and dont come out all evening its a mine field. And some lol the ladies can do whatever they want but if the guy so much as looks ar another lady then he gets an ear bashing. Could go on but you get the idea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

RULE NO 1: Don't get a crush on the guys you're swinging with....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest, i dont think that has anything to do with boundaries and rules, it sounds more like he was jealous and annoyed that he wasnt the first person to make her come

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yep me too just feel for her after such a good night she went home in tears.

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By *umpingJackFlashMan
over a year ago

Somewhere near you?

"Yep me too just feel for her after such a good night she went home in tears."

Lets hope they sorted it out in the end. But in a club I cant see how people can expect rules not to occasionally get broken. In a 1 to 1 meet (or 2 to 1) you can discuss rules first but I've heard clubs can be a bit more spontanious (bad spelling I'm sure).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've only got one rule.

It's the one I measure me cock with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One should respect that at the end of the day, each to their own.

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By *umpingJackFlashMan
over a year ago

Somewhere near you?

"One should respect that at the end of the day, each to their own.

True! Well said!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

WELL !met a couple once ! all was well ,was naked ,was fondling carressing each other , AND when we startedkissing .HUBBY burst into tears ,and called a end to proceedings ,said .HE could handle everything but the kissing , THAY came back next day and was fine ,buthad to keep kissing down to a minimum , mmmm FRANKIE XX

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

My other half has more enjoyment seeing me enjoy myself, the more I get into it, the more it turns him on so if I squirted with someone else he would love it.

The only rules we have as such is safe sex,for the rest of it we do whats comfortable for us.

But, maybe the couple in question had a rule of no squirting with anyone else for whatever reason, and if there was something the OH wasn't comfortable with I wouldn't do it and vice versa.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We've only got one rule.

It's the one I measure me cock with

ha ha ha!

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By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

My other half has more enjoyment seeing me enjoy myself, the more I get into it, the more it turns him on so if I squirted with someone else he would love it.

The only rules we have as such is safe sex,for the rest of it we do whats comfortable for us.

But, maybe the couple in question had a rule of no squirting with anyone else for whatever reason, and if there was something the OH wasn't comfortable with I wouldn't do it and vice versa."

wow Rugby never thought we would have something in common lol but our only 2 rules these days are exactly the same as yours!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there are certain boundaries i suppose but gushing well you cant control that can you, it happens when your out of control lol

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By *umpingJackFlashMan
over a year ago

Somewhere near you?

There's so many rules that people have then there's those who dont have rules. If I'd have known what a minefield swinging was maybe I'd have never joined. But then again, I'd respect the others choices whatever happens.

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