FabSwingers.com forum: Happily married

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Do you think you can really be happily married to someone but be cheating on here?

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By *ouble_CreamCouple
over a year ago

cheltenham

I guess it depends on your individual definition of 'happily' for me, going on my definition, no I don't think so, but even if the person cheating on here feels they are indeed happily married, I expect their spouse would be quick to disagree if they knew.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/428190

An interesting read, methinks.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I guess it depends on your individual definition of 'happily' for me, going on my definition, no I don't think so, but even if the person cheating on here feels they are indeed happily married, I expect their spouse would be quick to disagree if they knew.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess I'd ask if you're happy why you'd feel the need to cheat ?

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By *uncpl83Couple
over a year ago

wolverhampton

"I guess I'd ask if you're happy why you'd feel the need to cheat ?"
exactly!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you think you can really be happily married to someone but be cheating on here?"
no because you are involved in deceit so although you may regard yourself as happy you won't be when he finds out xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think cheaters are perfectly happy getting the life they think they deserve, yes. And if their partner doesn't find out then it's likely they'll remain happily married.

Some people will be unhappy and have many reasons for staying. Idk what reasons they are but they do exist.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I ain't married but I am happy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes you could, it depends how well you can hide your extra sex life and live with the thought not to tell.

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By *ouble_CreamCouple
over a year ago

cheltenham

"I ain't married but I am happy. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone that is married on here has there own reasons for it; there is never a 'good' reason to cheat but after some married guys explaining it to me; I do understand the reasons why some do and I have to say; its there lives to do as they wish, for example, someone once said to me (not on fab I may point out but on a dating site) he 'cheats' because his sex drive is so high, if he was to pester his wife as much as he wanted it, their marriage would be worse off, while it isn't the best reason in the world for it, I do understand it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think so. I mean I think you can THINK you're happily married but if you're on here behind their back: I'd argue that you're not sexually satisfied, but your partner ticks many of your other boxes so you've deluded yourself into thinking that's enough. Most people are terrified of leaving a relationship that isn't great because they think there's nothing better out there for them, so they alter their perception of reality to suit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I guess I'd ask if you're happy why you'd feel the need to cheat ?"

Some people enjoy the deceit of affairs, having secrets gives them a feeling of having more control over the relationship and their partner, some people are sadists who enjoy fucking with other peoples heads and get something outta lying to their spouse. Probably tonnes of reasons out there but they will be happy to stay with their partner coz they get something from them, and their partner puts up with their shit or hasn't found out about it.

I do also think it's slightly unreasonable to expect people to be monogamous. No way can one partner give you everything you need for the rest of your life. This is just my opinion though, i don't think one partner would work for me anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not the kind of question to ask on a swingers forum site really. Many in the real world would class ppl meeting others for sex when married even with consent...cheating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you think you can really be happily married to someone but be cheating on here?"

You'd have to ask everyone who was in that situation the question as it is unique to them, not one answer fits all.

Some will be happy others won't be the same as anyone else.

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By *eifer2010Man
over a year ago

Poole

Hmm tough question. Not married but been together for 7 years so good as. I am curious and have a high sex drive and not afraid to explore...so I chat play on cam etc but haven't gone further...yet

I asked her to try swinging and it doesn't appeal and not turned on by group sex simple as. She knows I am on fab but is happy not to ask questions as she enjoys just having her needs met once a week. I on the other hand want it everyday! It doesn't mean I don't love her or unhappy. At the minute I restrict myself to flirting and on occasion oral, hoping that it was her joining in the experience, but I know someday oral won't be enough and will lead to safe sex and then we will have to deal with it. However I have never hid my fantasies or gone behind her back as far as I'm concerned. She knows she won't ever want sex as much as me and I am sure she wouldn't want me to feel neglected. Happiness is always relative to unhappiness there will always be a balance...philosophy lecture over

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always wonder how those cheats explain it when they catch something.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think so. I mean I think you can THINK you're happily married but if you're on here behind their back: I'd argue that you're not sexually satisfied, but your partner ticks many of your other boxes so you've deluded yourself into thinking that's enough. Most people are terrified of leaving a relationship that isn't great because they think there's nothing better out there for them, so they alter their perception of reality to suit. "

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

In my personal opinion, if you're on here without your partners consent, it's not a happy marriage.

Happily married people don't cheat.

Nita

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always wonder how those cheats explain it when they catch something....."

My sister-in-law has just caught herpes from cheating. She is now always raving on facebook about how amazing her husband is. He doesn't know she cheated or has herpes yet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex is not the be all and end all of a relationship.

There's a lot more to a marriage than sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always wonder how those cheats explain it when they catch something....."

"When"? Are only "real swingers" capable of protecting themselves then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm married and here and happy

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Sex is not the be all and end all of a relationship.

There's a lot more to a marriage than sex."

I'm not quite so sure I can agree with this. By definition I will admit I don't think I have ever been on love, so maybe this is clouding my judgement I don't know.

I've had 3 LTR, 1st one very young, 2nd he was a complete arse, and 3rd a lovely guy you could ever wish to meet.

No sexual attraction from me, he never initiated it so we did go over a year without sexual interaction so I had to end it when I was 30 and I have been single ever since.

But then it could just be me who has this problem......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always wonder how those cheats explain it when they catch something.....

"When"? Are only "real swingers" capable of protecting themselves then?"

Well I don't know about you but I tend to have unprotected oral sex so I imagine it's only a matter of time before I catch something like clamydia or gonorrhoea.

I don't think I referred to 'real swingers' in my post but feel free to take shots at me. I have thick skin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree entirely....better the Devil and all that. But we only have one life and to stay with someone just because it's 'safe'is really sad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always wonder how those cheats explain it when they catch something.....

"When"? Are only "real swingers" capable of protecting themselves then?

Well I don't know about you but I tend to have unprotected oral sex so I imagine it's only a matter of time before I catch something like clamydia or gonorrhoea.

I don't think I referred to 'real swingers' in my post but feel free to take shots at me. I have thick skin.

It wasn't a shot at anyone, it was shorthand for "everyone other than cheaters".

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By *emmdaveMan
over a year ago

Kent

"Hmm tough question. Not married but been together for 7 years so good as. I am curious and have a high sex drive and not afraid to explore...so I chat play on cam etc but haven't gone further...yet

Not meaning to offend but how would you feel if she was cheating on you and it was her satisfaction elsewhere that lowered her sexual attraction to you?

Not judging, just trying to get a perspective on it.

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By *uddy and hollyCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Do you think you can really be happily married to someone but be cheating on here?"

33 years married never cheated no need to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you think you can really be happily married to someone but be cheating on here?"

Some can, yes. I'd imagine many others wouldn't understand it, but I don't understand how a lot of other people can possibly be really happy with their situations either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always wonder how those cheats explain it when they catch something.....

"When"? Are only "real swingers" capable of protecting themselves then?

Well I don't know about you but I tend to have unprotected oral sex so I imagine it's only a matter of time before I catch something like clamydia or gonorrhoea.

I don't think I referred to 'real swingers' in my post but feel free to take shots at me. I have thick skin.

It wasn't a shot at anyone, it was shorthand for "everyone other than cheaters". "

You've lost me. I wasn't suggesting only cheaters catch things.

My point was more to do with how on earth you explain to your long term partner that you may have given them an sti. It's hard enough to admit you've cheated let alone that you're only coming clean because you have something nasty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always wonder how those cheats explain it when they catch something.....

"When"? Are only "real swingers" capable of protecting themselves then?

Well I don't know about you but I tend to have unprotected oral sex so I imagine it's only a matter of time before I catch something like clamydia or gonorrhoea.

I don't think I referred to 'real swingers' in my post but feel free to take shots at me. I have thick skin.

It wasn't a shot at anyone, it was shorthand for "everyone other than cheaters".

You've lost me. I wasn't suggesting only cheaters catch things.

My point was that for me it's not a when, it's an if.

But now that you've explained that you assume you'll catch something at some point I get why you think that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always wonder how those cheats explain it when they catch something.....

"When"? Are only "real swingers" capable of protecting themselves then?

Well I don't know about you but I tend to have unprotected oral sex so I imagine it's only a matter of time before I catch something like clamydia or gonorrhoea.

I don't think I referred to 'real swingers' in my post but feel free to take shots at me. I have thick skin.

It wasn't a shot at anyone, it was shorthand for "everyone other than cheaters".

You've lost me. I wasn't suggesting only cheaters catch things.

My point was that for me it's not a when, it's an if.

But now that you've explained that you assume you'll catch something at some point I get why you think that. "

Sorry if I didn't make myself clear. I agree it's an 'if'. I was simply referring to how on earth you explain it 'when' you have an sti.

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"In my personal opinion, if you're on here without your partners consent, it's not a happy marriage.

Happily married people don't cheat.

Nita "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always wonder how those cheats explain it when they catch something.....

"When"? Are only "real swingers" capable of protecting themselves then?

Well I don't know about you but I tend to have unprotected oral sex so I imagine it's only a matter of time before I catch something like clamydia or gonorrhoea.

I don't think I referred to 'real swingers' in my post but feel free to take shots at me. I have thick skin.

It wasn't a shot at anyone, it was shorthand for "everyone other than cheaters".

You've lost me. I wasn't suggesting only cheaters catch things.

My point was that for me it's not a when, it's an if.

But now that you've explained that you assume you'll catch something at some point I get why you think that.

Sorry if I didn't make myself clear. I agree it's an 'if'. I was simply referring to how on earth you explain it 'when' you have an sti.

Just jumping in I suppose it would depend on whether you have sex with your partner or not ~ if you don't there is no need to tell them......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always wonder how those cheats explain it when they catch something.....

"When"? Are only "real swingers" capable of protecting themselves then?

Well I don't know about you but I tend to have unprotected oral sex so I imagine it's only a matter of time before I catch something like clamydia or gonorrhoea.

I don't think I referred to 'real swingers' in my post but feel free to take shots at me. I have thick skin.

It wasn't a shot at anyone, it was shorthand for "everyone other than cheaters".

You've lost me. I wasn't suggesting only cheaters catch things.

My point was that for me it's not a when, it's an if.

But now that you've explained that you assume you'll catch something at some point I get why you think that.

Sorry if I didn't make myself clear. I agree it's an 'if'. I was simply referring to how on earth you explain it 'when' you have an sti.

Just jumping in I suppose it would depend on whether you have sex with your partner or not ~ if you don't there is no need to tell them......"

A fair point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't that can be answered by anyone other than the person involved as everyone is different.

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By *ice guy 44Man
over a year ago

wrexham

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I turn this around and ask: if you're in a relationship or married and on here with partner's permission, are you happily married? Same for couples.

I'm sure I would get some opposition here, but like those of us that are married and on here without permission, I'm sure the answers can be as complex.

Essentially, I agree with some previous posts: you don't know an individual's reasons so try not to assume an answer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I turn this around and ask: if you're in a relationship or married and on here with partner's permission, are you happily married? Same for couples.

I'm sure I would get some opposition here, but like those of us that are married and on here without permission, I'm sure the answers can be as complex.

Essentially, I agree with some previous posts: you don't know an individual's reasons so try not to assume an answer. "

I'm very happy. My wife's very happy. She hasn't got a penis though. Playing with other men's penis' makes me even happier

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By *ssexguy69Man
over a year ago

thurrock Essex

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By *rtemisiaWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

I don't think I could live with endless lies. My partner knows everything about what I do on here. Sometimes he joins in. I have always had a much greater interest in sex though. In its mad way, it helps us to keep the best of one another.

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By *abcouple11Couple
over a year ago

Truro

"cheating" - very narrow and judgemental. That's the language of another world isn't it?

Many of us here would look sadly on that other world and look at the cruel pointlessness of the many divorces which look totally unnecessary. Not a one-sided issue.

Not unconditionally buying into the implicit context within the original question

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Relationships are complicated

But if you need to lie to each other then you're not happy

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