FabSwingers.com forum: How do we feel about winks?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I like getting winks! I send winks myself when I see someone I like and send a message after. But I see in many profiles that people hate them. Why?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had some of my best meets as a result of winks I've received or sent.

They're just a good way of breaking the ice.

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

We have no issue receiving winks, however, when we acknowledge a wink with a message, it's confusing when the sender doesn't acknowledge our message

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By *mf4BxJCouple
over a year ago

edinburgh

I like then, like the PP we've had meets of the back of winks. I understand some people don't, if their profile states that then we won't wink.

I think they're a good way of being able to have a wee peek at each others profile then taking it from there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We have no issue receiving winks, however, when we acknowledge a wink with a message, it's confusing when the sender doesn't acknowledge our message

Exactly. And they block you because you've acknowledged their wink. Whats all that about????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I delete without acknowledging. I think it's a lazy way of getting in touch. It works for some, doesn't impress me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like them too. No idea why people have such a problem with them either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like them...its like getting a wolf whistle!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well as you’re neither obliged to be faltered or insulted at receiving a Wink…. And as your also not obliged to respond to the sender should you not wish too, either displaying your delight or dismay at recieving a Wink

…… therefore Winks seem pretty innocuous and suitably harmless and certainly not worth getting stressed about, unless you just one of those people who likes to get over excited or moan about the little things in life…..

well that how I see it!!!,,, in humble opinion, ahem...that is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Total ignore them, don't like them. Write a message if you want to talk.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I delete without acknowledging. I think it's a lazy way of getting in touch. It works for some, doesn't impress me."

I disagree with it being lazy. especially with so many people complaining about the amount the amount of messages that get. Isn't it easier for someone to have profiles lined up ready to have a peek at? it's a chance to have a look at someone's profile who fits your criteria that you might have missed. No harm in that surely...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I delete without acknowledging. I think it's a lazy way of getting in touch. It works for some, doesn't impress me.

You're quite at liberty to disagree, I thought people were invited to express their opinion on how they felt about winks: I've expressed mine - if that's ok with you that is?!!

I'm looking for a specific thype of playmate...if he's too shy to send an opening message then he certainly will not be what I'm looking for.

I don't waste time on the "what might have beens". I don't trawl profiles because they type of man I'm looking for seldoms puts "sub" on profile!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like winks it shows that I am interested. And I seam to reply more to winks then emails.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

winks are like wolf whistles or someone in the pub saying hi

i have no problem with them x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't use them,never have and never will.We usually get them together with a friend request before the sender has even said a word so we ignore them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to wink let's me tell someone I'm interested in them I feel it starts the ball rolling

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

some like them... some don't

me.... I am not a fan.... all it tells me is that you managed to find the wink button... to me it is lazy, little effort to try and get maximum reward.....

i don't see winks as someone in a pub saying hi... at least that person made a bit of an effort....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I delete without acknowledging. I think it's a lazy way of getting in touch. It works for some, doesn't impress me.

You're quite at liberty to disagree, I thought people were invited to express their opinion on how they felt about winks: I've expressed mine - if that's ok with you that is?!!

I'm looking for a specific thype of playmate...if he's too shy to send an opening message then he certainly will not be what I'm looking for.

I don't waste time on the "what might have beens". I don't trawl profiles because they type of man I'm looking for seldoms puts "sub" on profile!

No, it's not ok!

I'm not asking people to change their minds. Just think winks are misundestood.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not asking people to change their minds. Just think winks are misundestood.

That's because you are single and male and don't get 100s of the stupid things, 99% of which are from single males who can't be fucked to read the profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really don't mind them and will wink back if I'm interested. If they don't then bother to message then they can wink as much as they like though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Winks are better than most messages, sometimes more effort would have been used sending a wink

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Winks are better than most messages, sometimes more effort would have been used sending a wink

It's a fair point

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

We don't mind winks at all, if we like the look of them we'll send a message back and if not we'll just delete!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We never send them and never look at them.

Each to their own, but we prefer to receive / send a message, but if a wink works for you - go for it

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

If I see profile I like, but for whatever reason I dont think its likely that we will meet(usually due to distance), or meet in any reasonable timescale, then I have no issue with sending a wink.

I dont want to bother them with a message because I dont see the point, but I would like to leave a little token of my appreciation nonetheless.

If someone gets upset about I would suggest they take a good long look at the world around them, and all the tings that are genuinely worth getting upset about, and give their priorities a quick update

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If someone gets upset about I would suggest they take a good long look at the world around them, and all the tings that are genuinely worth getting upset about, and give their priorities a quick update

So well put. Fits many of the things people complain about on here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont mind winks, they are nice to have

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

THINK ! a wink is a way of breaking the ice , ! andif you get one back its worth sending a message to , FRANKIE XX i wink at girls when out if i find em attractive , only same innit xx

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By *-and-KCouple
over a year ago

Back of Beyond

Never take any notice of them unless they are accompanied by a message.Its ok some saying it shows interest.

But to us its just laziness, the sender can't be bothered to send a message, probably in case of rejection.

Preferring instead to send a wink, if the receiver is interested, they'll contact them. If they don't its a lot less typing for the sender

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By *ohnsusCouple
over a year ago

Chesterfield

We like winks, both receiving them and sometimes sending them. We take it as an acknowledgement that they/you liked the look of the profile. and it can then lead on to more involved correspondence.

Better a wink than just a friend invite out of the blue with no prior contact ! We also don't get where we respond to a wink with a wink of our own which is then ignored or not followed up ? That seems strange to us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Winks are just a nice way of saying "hi, Liked the profile." Like to give, Like to get

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like getting winks! I send winks myself when I see someone I like and send a message after. But I see in many profiles that people hate them. Why? "

i dont dislike winks, it dont bother me if i get them but i never respond to them simply because if a guy mails me i want him to have read my profile, looked at my pics and have liked what he read and saw towards me as a person and send a message showing he has read my profile and interested in me because of what i have written

to me winks are just lazy and what guys do who speculate to accumulate, you know put a search in for local women ands wink the bloody lot in a hope some will reply

i am a individual and expect to be approched as such, if i make first contact with a guy its always because i have viewed his profile and liked what he has put and i send a individually written message to everyone i mail i dont think its to much to ask for the same in return

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely no harm in them, but some people would moan about anything!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

plus just to add i have no idea what you do with winks anyway

if you winked someone what would you expect to happen, the person mails you to say thanks for the wink? a wink back? i have no idea, plus i think guys who send wink out probably send so many out that if i did respond to one they'd have forgot they even winked me in the first place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

GOT some feedback saying its laziness to send a wink , I DONT see it that way . if i WINK at someone am showing interest ,and if they WINK back they are interested , FRANKIE XX

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"I delete without acknowledging. I think it's a lazy way of getting in touch. It works for some, doesn't impress me."

I'm with you on that one!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dont like them, would rather message,and you can see if your message has been read or deleted...i forget they are there..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm not asking people to change their minds. Just think winks are misundestood.

That's because you are single and male and don't get 100s of the stupid things, 99% of which are from single males who can't be fucked to read the profile."

Oops! lol.

Forgive me for laughing but you have me confused with the single males who you tend to attract. I send messages and winks in accordance to who minds them and who doesn't. No need for the single male bashing!

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By *itchfieldMan
over a year ago

Portsmouth

While I might prefer a message I'll accept any kind of interest, message or wink as flattery. I don't have any interest in being snobby about it but then I don't get dozens or hundreds of messages when I log on

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By *ardybumsCouple
over a year ago

peekin under duvet is it safe?

what about the d*unken 1.45am wink does that count ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Winks are a bit like who looked at me page shows me whose online and whose interested.Whats wrong with that.

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

"what about the d*unken 1.45am wink does that count ?"

those would explain quite a few of the winks I get from people who then never reply to a message ..... I must look pretty dammned hot through the bottom of a wine bottle!

But seriously, if we are all completely honest, the first thing we look at when we get a message isn't the message, or the profile, but the pics - provided you have enough decent pics on your profile for a visitor to perve, and then something that might be worth reading afterwards, then there isnt much difference between a wink and your average opening message.

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By *exKittenandTomCouple
over a year ago

lichfield

We like sending and recieving winks, yes its a quick and easy way to find out if there is some interest there, so not too much time wasted and if we get a message or wink back we move closer

Many times we've read profiles, after they've winked us, who say they don't want winks, one line messages from couples that don't want one line messages and guess what we've sent well thought out messages to couples who always reply, they've not replied and just deleted the message.

K&T xx xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont mind them, breaks the ice, so to speak, i then check them out, if they look okay and i like their profile, i send them either a wink or a message.

i dont however respond to winks accompanied by a friendship request as they are just picture collectors, or guys up early looking for fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"what about the d*unken 1.45am wink does that count ?

those would explain quite a few of the winks I get from people who then never reply to a message ..... I must look pretty dammned hot through the bottom of a wine bottle!

you look pretty damn hot without a bottle too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't pay too much attention to winks however if they catch me at the right moment I do have a peek at the profile and pics.

I prefer to receive winks from people I know. Lets me know they're thinking of me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Up until recently I did not see much point of winks but now feel people should use it as an ice-breaker .If the other party winks back then you know they are interested and then send a message . This saves time and then you can write a message to people that are interested instead of wasting time on people who dont reply and delete messages for whatever reason.

So in short its a feature , we should use it .

Thats my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But seriously, if we are all completely honest, the first thing we look at when we get a message isn't the message, or the profile, but the pics "

I don't!

The first thing I look at when I get a message is the age and location, plus the salutation. If they meet what I'm looking for I look at the profile, and the FIRST thing I loot at is the height and whether they can accommodate.

It makes no difference to me if the man looks like David Beckham or Daniel Craig with tastefully posed photos if he's 5ft 3 and can't accommodate - it's NEVER going to happen!

We all have different standards and ways of selecting playmates. The reason I think some people come on forums moaning about timewasters is they fall for the glossy, pretty photos someone has downloaded of a porn site onto their profile, instead of looking a little deeper and setting higher standards for themselves.

But hey...that's just my opinion!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As has been said 'winks' are fine, a good icebreaker, a way of flagging up interest etc. We don't see it as 'lazy' or interpret a wink as a substitute for a message. If a wink is not returned then it's a case of 'no hard feelings' [it was the feeling hard that led to the wink lol] and move on.

However, if the initial mutual winking [that's winking with an 'i'] is followed directly by a 'friends' invite with no message then we feel that's jolly bad form. Not proclaiming any which way is right. It's just our outlook and our version of 'wink' etiquette

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So in short its a feature , we should use it .

So is chat...but you'll never find me in there! The site with its features is there for members to use how they see fit. I choose not to use it...if that's ok with you that is!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was looking at a profile the other day, and accidently winked them, damn laptop, lol.

They winked back with a message and a party invite. Unfortunately, it was too short notice for us to go.

Have to say I don't usually use the wink button. The times I've used it in the past, I've only got very intermittant responses.

We get them occaisionally, but I have to admit I don't always respond to them.

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By *empnbunkCouple
over a year ago

south coast

dont randomly wink people because after reading forums its quite clear alot of people think they are a lazy way to get someones attention.....but really have no problems with them just wish we got more of them....lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont take any notice of them, acknowledged one for the firsr time the other day with a message as she met my criteria... No response though, so first and last time lol

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

But seriously, if we are all completely honest, the first thing we look at when we get a message isn't the message, or the profile, but the pics

I don't!

going straight to the pics on someone's profile without reading first is a lot like masturbation.

You either do it

or your a liar

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I like getting winks! I send winks myself when I see someone I like and send a message after. But I see in many profiles that people hate them. Why?

to me winks are just lazy and what guys do who speculate to accumulate, you know put a search in for local women ands wink the bloody lot in a hope some will reply

You're right about some people winking everyone in the hope of someone getting back to them. I think that what many wink recievers might think when getting one. Use winks wisely!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no problem with them whatsoever. Think they are a good ice-breaker. If somebody winks me and I like the look of them, I always send a message. Which then often leads to long and fruitful friendships.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So in short its a feature , we should use it .

So is chat...but you'll never find me in there! The site with its features is there for members to use how they see fit. I choose not to use it...if that's ok with you that is!!!

Lol!

I've stopped using chat. Forums are much better!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But seriously, if we are all completely honest, the first thing we look at when we get a message isn't the message, or the profile, but the pics

I don't!

going straight to the pics on someone's profile without reading first is a lot like masturbation.

You either do it

or your a liar"

Some people are only able to judge people by their own standards. Every one who cheats probably assumes everyone else is cheating too so struggle to understand that some people don't!

I'm telling you how I pick my playmates, whether you believe that or not is of little consequence to me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So in short its a feature , we should use it .

So is chat...but you'll never find me in there! The site with its features is there for members to use how they see fit. I choose not to use it...if that's ok with you that is!!!

Lol!

I've stopped using chat. Forums are much better!

I'm spending too much time in here because people are beginning to annoy me instead of amuse me!

Where do people get off telling others how they should do things, and if you differ from their ideal of how things are done you're a liar, up your own etc.

Think I'll go and see what's in the sales!

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

We take them as a compliment and that we must be doing something right..

Hopefully people would have read our profile enough to understand our standpoint and have sent a wink in the guise of a friendly nod and a smile..

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By *ittle-Miss-MuffetCouple
over a year ago

Chester / North Wales

We like winks and always accept them in the spirit they are meant - as quick method of showing someone that you're interested or maybe even just like their profile. We will wink back if we like them too, or will just ignore if we don't - nothing lost. Whereas if someone sends us a message out of the blue we feel more pressure to reply even if it's a no thanks, just so that person doesn't feel ignored.

I can't understand why anyone does not like them? Certainly not lazy..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't really use them as the feedback I've mostly heard is people think they're lazy.

However I wish people didn't have this view, a wink should be the equivalent of lingering eye contact in a bar.

You both wink, you have a chat, simple. Surely it's timesaving for women and couples who have to wade through all their emails.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

We think winks are like the eye contact you get in a club or party, its a way of finding out that someone is interested... or not lol!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So in short its a feature , we should use it .

So is chat...but you'll never find me in there! The site with its features is there for members to use how they see fit. I choose not to use it...if that's ok with you that is!!!

Lol!

I've stopped using chat. Forums are much better!

I'm spending too much time in here because people are beginning to annoy me instead of amuse me!

Where do people get off telling others how they should do things, and if you differ from their ideal of how things are done you're a liar, up your own etc.

Think I'll go and see what's in the sales!

Sassy, forgive me but you're getting too wound up about this. I don't recall anyone saying you're wrong and you should change your ways and views. I'm sorry you feel that way.

We're all friends here. right?

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