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Giving up swinging...

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By *olarfox OP   Man
over a year ago

North Cambs

I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

In an instant. But I'm not really a swinger anyway

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

it will never happen, so No

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there are only 2 reasons why I'd give up swinging and that is; if I fall totally head over heels ( that is highly unlikely) or when I'm far too old and need to take up knitting.

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By *helbeeCouple
over a year ago

Nuneaton

No i cant see me giving up swinging

im not seeking a relationship at the mo

so dont apply

but if i was to meet a potential bf then he would have to accept my swinging lifestyle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could eAsily do it but then I have only ever done it as part of a couple

I am looking for a relationship anyway so would be happy if I could find someone and they didn't want to swing

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

I would yes,will it happen probably not!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?"

I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to.

That's my ten pence anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I found my match I maybe would

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hopefully your ideal person would end up being a swinger sonnonneed to change

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes without a doubt. Ive ticked all boxes off that i wanted too when i joined. Its just a matter of time when i give up this lifestyle. I will never forget the memories and people i met along the way. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes it's good fun but in no way essential.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't consider meeting single people off the internet to hopefully have sex with as swinging and when I'm single group sex really doesn't appeal but I've been swinging with various partners for several years so if anything I give it up when I'm single and get involved when I'm part of a couple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have the perfect relationship,already .

We started dating each other 5 years ago , totally vanilla for a year then began swinging . Now married for 3 years and still happily swinging .

Not really that relevant to the op , but we would definately not want to give up swinging or each other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would like to say yes I would but I'm not so sure if I'm honest but then if that person caught me by the heart, who knows

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By *rs-Naughty_Mr-CuddlesCouple
over a year ago

Nr coleford

We meet through fab still swinging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no intentions of ever being in a relationship ever again

only ever had one relationship in all my life, that ended about 8 years ago now, and that was enough to put me off them for life

so hard to comment on a situation I'm never going to be in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am single and prefer the no commitment lifestyle.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I'm a commitment phobic but if I were to meet someone along the way the I could easily be monogamous but I wouldn't give up the friends I've made along the way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes

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By *sla69Woman
over a year ago

coventry/Leicestershire border

If the right man came along i would give it up in a instant...getting to old now anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know we are not single but if either one of us wanted to stop we wouldn't have an issue just giving up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I would give it up but ideally would love to find someone to share the lifestyle with. Here's hoping x

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By *helbeeCouple
over a year ago

Nuneaton

For the foreseeable future after my marriage broke up an now divorced, its certainly put me off having another relationship

an hence i prefer nsa life style, simple, an no commitment an i feel free an have freedom

so for me nsa suits me an im a lot hapier not being in a relationship

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?"

In a heartbeat. I originally wasn't looking for anything long term/ permanent, but things change and dare I say , I have fallen hook, link and sinker - he doesn't' know, but if he asked I wouldn't think twice about giving it up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?

I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to.

That's my ten pence anyway. "

Yep I think that speaks for me and Ben too. I think we would miss the whole lifestyle thing. Vanillas can be so prudish x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?"

No I would corrupt them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"...

Vanillas can be so prudish x"

So can swingers!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?"

I'm not a swinger. I enjoy sex and the open mindness here, that's why I'm here.

Yes I would, no question about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not a swinger anyway so yes out of here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?"

What if your ideal mate loved swinging too??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?

I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to.

That's my ten pence anyway. "

I find this hard to grasp, probably because I'm not a couple. I also find it really sad that a couple or anyone for that matter couldn't go back to making love and have a great sex life with their partners and only their partners

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?

I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to.

That's my ten pence anyway.

I find this hard to grasp, probably because I'm not a couple. I also find it really sad that a couple or anyone for that matter couldn't go back to making love and have a great sex life with their partners and only their partners"

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to.

"

Highs are fun but it's the depth I like best, and the depth that is lacking in casual sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?

I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to.

That's my ten pence anyway.

I find this hard to grasp, probably because I'm not a couple. I also find it really sad that a couple or anyone for that matter couldn't go back to making love and have a great sex life with their partners and only their partners"

Not all couples have a great sex life's between themselves though

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By *razedcatMan
over a year ago

London / Herts

Interesting question. I arrived on the swing scene shortly after coming out of a long term relationship - and had a few fleeting relationships with people on the scene itself.

But if I met the vanilla love of my life tomorrow, yes, I'd give it up. Because that woman would fulfil me in every possible respect - emotionally, spiritually, and sexually.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?

I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to.

That's my ten pence anyway.

I find this hard to grasp, probably because I'm not a couple. I also find it really sad that a couple or anyone for that matter couldn't go back to making love and have a great sex life with their partners and only their partners

Not all couples have a great sex life's between themselves though "

I know, I'm

Learning a lot from this site

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"it will never happen, so No"

Ditto.

There's no man alive that doesn't get fed up of me eventually.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?

I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to.

That's my ten pence anyway.

I find this hard to grasp, probably because I'm not a couple. I also find it really sad that a couple or anyone for that matter couldn't go back to making love and have a great sex life with their partners and only their partners

Not all couples have a great sex life's between themselves though "

That;s probably not the best basis to start swinging though is it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had never heard of swinging until I met my partner over 14 years ago. At first I didn't want anything to do with it, but curiosity got the cat and had to see what it was all about. Loved it from the beginning, meeting new people, from all walks of life, all ages, all types of sex and enhances our sex life. But you have to have the trust to be able to swing. Would find it hard to stop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?

I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to.

That's my ten pence anyway.

I find this hard to grasp, probably because I'm not a couple. I also find it really sad that a couple or anyone for that matter couldn't go back to making love and have a great sex life with their partners and only their partners

Not all couples have a great sex life's between themselves though

That;s probably not the best basis to start swinging though is it"

Just making an observation

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By *olarfox OP   Man
over a year ago

North Cambs


"I think there are only 2 reasons why I'd give up swinging and that is; if I fall totally head over heels ( that is highly unlikely) or when I'm far too old and need to take up knitting."

I feel the same way...and I was talking 'head over heels'....not that it has happened or anything x

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By *olarfox OP   Man
over a year ago

North Cambs


"Hopefully your ideal person would end up being a swinger sonnonneed to change "

If I could accept being in a swinging relationship with someone I was truly head over heels in love with, but, that is a big 'if'. I know lots of couples do this, but it is not for everyone, I have never tried it and currently cannot quite imagine it for myself.

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By *olarfox OP   Man
over a year ago

North Cambs


"If the right man came along i would give it up in a instant...getting to old now anyway "

Too old ...nonsense...not by a long shot

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By *olarfox OP   Man
over a year ago

North Cambs


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?

What if your ideal mate loved swinging too??"

That is the bit I am not yet sure about, having never been in that situation....could I accept sharing a woman I was head over heels in love with?? I don't know.

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By *olarfox OP   Man
over a year ago

North Cambs


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?

I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to.

That's my ten pence anyway.

I find this hard to grasp, probably because I'm not a couple. I also find it really sad that a couple or anyone for that matter couldn't go back to making love and have a great sex life with their partners and only their partners"

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By *olarfox OP   Man
over a year ago

North Cambs


"Interesting question. I arrived on the swing scene shortly after coming out of a long term relationship - and had a few fleeting relationships with people on the scene itself.

But if I met the vanilla love of my life tomorrow, yes, I'd give it up. Because that woman would fulfil me in every possible respect - emotionally, spiritually, and sexually. "

This is very much how I presently feel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?

I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to.

That's my ten pence anyway.

I find this hard to grasp, probably because I'm not a couple. I also find it really sad that a couple or anyone for that matter couldn't go back to making love and have a great sex life with their partners and only their partners

Not all couples have a great sex life's between themselves though

That;s probably not the best basis to start swinging though is it"

Worked for us thanks. We agreed to swing when we stared the relationship. Now we're married...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?

I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to.

That's my ten pence anyway.

I find this hard to grasp, probably because I'm not a couple. I also find it really sad that a couple or anyone for that matter couldn't go back to making love and have a great sex life with their partners and only their partners"

Being exclusive to one person is the definition of repetition. Repetition is, by definition, not exciting. Please lets agree on that, thats just dictionary definitions. That is not to say one partner can't be pleasant or fulfilling in other ways, but long term exciting it is not.

If want you want from sex is emotional satisfaction, affection and romance than yes you can be fine with one person. But swinging wins hands down for excitement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?"

Depends on the person. I'm happier in this lifestyle than I've ever been. I honestly don't think I ever intended to get into relationships, it was just "the way the world works", however, I think I have the capacity to give up the lifestyle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

No idea, depends if the person was into it in a way I would be happy with.

But I am sure I would never be happy with just one man again.

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By *D40Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

We started off vanilla, me with no experience or knowledge of the swinging world. 18 months into the relationship curiosity overcame me and we started dipping our toes in. We haven't done lots of swinging, but we have enjoyed it all. If we ever split up and i became single again i don't think i would swing. I'd just join POF & get my kicks there with a complimentary dinner thrown in too....

Mrs WD40 x

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

Yes without a second thought

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?

I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to.

That's my ten pence anyway.

I find this hard to grasp, probably because I'm not a couple. I also find it really sad that a couple or anyone for that matter couldn't go back to making love and have a great sex life with their partners and only their partners

Being exclusive to one person is the definition of repetition. Repetition is, by definition, not exciting. Please lets agree on that, thats just dictionary definitions. That is not to say one partner can't be pleasant or fulfilling in other ways, but long term exciting it is not.

If want you want from sex is emotional satisfaction, affection and romance than yes you can be fine with one person. But swinging wins hands down for excitement. "

I have to beg to differ that sex cannot be exciting with one person, if it is the right person. I swung solo for four years on and off between relationships, nsa sex, but when I met Mr law, and since, no other man can excite me in the way he does and I do not have any interest or desire in meeting another man .... at times, if the moment strikes, we will meet a TV, but realistically, nothing else is gloating my boat. On our first meet we discussed, where do you go from having experienced so much on the scene, and where we went (and are now) is into what could also be seen as a vanilla relationship which is exciting and fulfilling on all levels ... much more so than any swinging relationship can be. I feel a little sad for anyone that thinks sex with the same person would be boring ....

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Interesting question. I arrived on the swing scene shortly after coming out of a long term relationship - and had a few fleeting relationships with people on the scene itself.

But if I met the vanilla love of my life tomorrow, yes, I'd give it up. Because that woman would fulfil me in every possible respect - emotionally, spiritually, and sexually. "

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

No, my soulmate would understand my choices and accept me for who I am otherwise he wouldn't be my soulmate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?

I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to.

That's my ten pence anyway.

I find this hard to grasp, probably because I'm not a couple. I also find it really sad that a couple or anyone for that matter couldn't go back to making love and have a great sex life with their partners and only their partners

Being exclusive to one person is the definition of repetition. Repetition is, by definition, not exciting. Please lets agree on that, thats just dictionary definitions. That is not to say one partner can't be pleasant or fulfilling in other ways, but long term exciting it is not.

If want you want from sex is emotional satisfaction, affection and romance than yes you can be fine with one person. But swinging wins hands down for excitement.

I have to beg to differ that sex cannot be exciting with one person, if it is the right person. I swung solo for four years on and off between relationships, nsa sex, but when I met Mr law, and since, no other man can excite me in the way he does and I do not have any interest or desire in meeting another man .... at times, if the moment strikes, we will meet a TV, but realistically, nothing else is gloating my boat. On our first meet we discussed, where do you go from having experienced so much on the scene, and where we went (and are now) is into what could also be seen as a vanilla relationship which is exciting and fulfilling on all levels ... much more so than any swinging relationship can be. I feel a little sad for anyone that thinks sex with the same person would be boring ...."

Few things are more dull than semantic debates. I don't deny that what you describe is fulfilling and pleasurable. But it's just a simple definition that variation is associated with excitement

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?

I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to.

That's my ten pence anyway.

I find this hard to grasp, probably because I'm not a couple. I also find it really sad that a couple or anyone for that matter couldn't go back to making love and have a great sex life with their partners and only their partners

Being exclusive to one person is the definition of repetition. Repetition is, by definition, not exciting. Please lets agree on that, thats just dictionary definitions. That is not to say one partner can't be pleasant or fulfilling in other ways, but long term exciting it is not.

If want you want from sex is emotional satisfaction, affection and romance than yes you can be fine with one person. But swinging wins hands down for excitement.

I have to beg to differ that sex cannot be exciting with one person, if it is the right person. I swung solo for four years on and off between relationships, nsa sex, but when I met Mr law, and since, no other man can excite me in the way he does and I do not have any interest or desire in meeting another man .... at times, if the moment strikes, we will meet a TV, but realistically, nothing else is gloating my boat. On our first meet we discussed, where do you go from having experienced so much on the scene, and where we went (and are now) is into what could also be seen as a vanilla relationship which is exciting and fulfilling on all levels ... much more so than any swinging relationship can be. I feel a little sad for anyone that thinks sex with the same person would be boring ...."

Ps: boring and exciting are not the only two possibiltiies as I have clearly described.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?"

Nope! NO way. I'm a swinger through and through. IF,another man came into my life, he'd have to accept my swinging, just as he would my kids and dog. Or he's outta here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I met someone then yes for a while to build the relationship get to know each other and to build trust but it would always be in the back of my mind. An option for the future x

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

Few things are more dull than semantic debates. I don't deny that what you describe is fulfilling and pleasurable. But it's just a simple definition that variation is associated with excitement"

No, it's a subjective opinion. I am far more excited about meeting people I know and like than new people I may not click with at all. I meet people in hope of finding a good fb, but I have no need or desire to meet new people all the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hopefully your ideal person would end up being a swinger sonnonneed to change

If I could accept being in a swinging relationship with someone I was truly head over heels in love with, but, that is a big 'if'. I know lots of couples do this, but it is not for everyone, I have never tried it and currently cannot quite imagine it for myself."
i know i cldnt

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By *olarfox OP   Man
over a year ago

North Cambs

Some really interesting and considered responses from lots of people to this thread I started....thanks guys....

Btw...I am no closer to knowing what the future has in store for me in this regard, but, not knowing and finding out as you go along is part of the endlessly magical mystery tour..

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?"

Yes. For us swinging is an entirely shared experience. If one of the two of us felt we didn't want to swing any more then we would both give it up in a flash without question or resentment

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By *olarfox OP   Man
over a year ago

North Cambs


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?

Yes. For us swinging is an entirely shared experience. If one of the two of us felt we didn't want to swing any more then we would both give it up in a flash without question or resentment "

I don't doubt that for a minute and I think that is both admirable and testament to the strength of your bond for one another. However, being completely uncharted territory (and indeed, territory which I myself may never map), I still can't quite imagine being with someone in the way that you are with your partner (and I'm not sure which one of you I am talking to here - though that is irrelevant) and at the same time being happy to share that person with others. I'm not even sure how this comes about for those who find that they both enjoy the freedom of doing just that...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. I don't believe in soul mates. I don't believe that two people out of billions are meant to be together. I like variety and will continue to have that for the rest of my life. If I get a boyfriend who accepts it and does the same great if not I get everything I need from casual sexual partners and fuck buddies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?

Yes. For us swinging is an entirely shared experience. If one of the two of us felt we didn't want to swing any more then we would both give it up in a flash without question or resentment

I don't doubt that for a minute and I think that is both admirable and testament to the strength of your bond for one another. However, being completely uncharted territory (and indeed, territory which I myself may never map), I still can't quite imagine being with someone in the way that you are with your partner (and I'm not sure which one of you I am talking to here - though that is irrelevant) and at the same time being happy to share that person with others. I'm not even sure how this comes about for those who find that they both enjoy the freedom of doing just that..."

For us also it's a totally shared experience and I couldn't imagine doing this as a single but life would be boring if we were all the same

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By *olarfox OP   Man
over a year ago

North Cambs


" but life would be boring if we were all the same "

Very true

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By *trawberry-popWoman
over a year ago

South East Midlands NOT


"In an instant. But I'm not really a swinger anyway "

This

Although I'm hoping my soulmate is someone i'll meet on my fab journey!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?

Yes. For us swinging is an entirely shared experience. If one of the two of us felt we didn't want to swing any more then we would both give it up in a flash without question or resentment

I don't doubt that for a minute and I think that is both admirable and testament to the strength of your bond for one another. However, being completely uncharted territory (and indeed, territory which I myself may never map), I still can't quite imagine being with someone in the way that you are with your partner (and I'm not sure which one of you I am talking to here - though that is irrelevant) and at the same time being happy to share that person with others. I'm not even sure how this comes about for those who find that they both enjoy the freedom of doing just that..."

I don't really think of it as 'sharing' S. We are together the entire time we are swinging - even if not physically, we are emotionally connected still. It's fun and sexy and satisfying and it's hot to be in this tangled pile of bodies with your partner.

And, to be completely honest, the best bit is fucking eachother after a meet.

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By *olarfox OP   Man
over a year ago

North Cambs


"And, to be completely honest, the best bit is fucking eachother after a meet. "

I've heard that a lot....One gorgeous couple I have met, go at it like rabbits as soon as the 'third party' has departed

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By *L RogueMan
over a year ago

London


"I think there are only 2 reasons why I'd give up swinging and that is; if I fall totally head over heels ( that is highly unlikely) or when I'm far too old and need to take up knitting."

Same. Though I'm not keen on the knitting!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes in an instant but it's very unlikely to happen

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By *olarfox OP   Man
over a year ago

North Cambs


"Yes in an instant but it's very unlikely to happen"

Don't be such a pessimist....xx

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?

Yes. For us swinging is an entirely shared experience. If one of the two of us felt we didn't want to swing any more then we would both give it up in a flash without question or resentment

I don't doubt that for a minute and I think that is both admirable and testament to the strength of your bond for one another. However, being completely uncharted territory (and indeed, territory which I myself may never map), I still can't quite imagine being with someone in the way that you are with your partner (and I'm not sure which one of you I am talking to here - though that is irrelevant) and at the same time being happy to share that person with others. I'm not even sure how this comes about for those who find that they both enjoy the freedom of doing just that..."

It's a mutual understanding and respect for one another, and a shared interest in and enjoyment of sex together with a joint desire to explore the boundaries that has developed over the years (or indeed decades). We shared fantasies about this lifestyle for a long long time before taking the plunge three years ago - and haven't looked back since. The idea of one of us doing this without the other is an anathema to both of us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

And, to be completely honest, the best bit is fucking eachother after a meet. "

Totally agree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No. I don't believe in soul mates. I don't believe that two people out of billions are meant to be together. I like variety and will continue to have that for the rest of my life. If I get a boyfriend who accepts it and does the same great if not I get everything I need from casual sexual partners and fuck buddies. "

I love this.

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By *olarfox OP   Man
over a year ago

North Cambs


"No. I don't believe in soul mates. I don't believe that two people out of billions are meant to be together. I like variety and will continue to have that for the rest of my life. If I get a boyfriend who accepts it and does the same great if not I get everything I need from casual sexual partners and fuck buddies.

I love this. "

I find it rather a depressing statement....but only based on what I value as an individual and we are all different...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No. I don't believe in soul mates. I don't believe that two people out of billions are meant to be together. I like variety and will continue to have that for the rest of my life. If I get a boyfriend who accepts it and does the same great if not I get everything I need from casual sexual partners and fuck buddies.

I love this.

I find it rather a depressing statement....but only based on what I value as an individual and we are all different..."

Are you a fan of Disney films by any chance?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No. I don't believe in soul mates. I don't believe that two people out of billions are meant to be together. I like variety and will continue to have that for the rest of my life. If I get a boyfriend who accepts it and does the same great if not I get everything I need from casual sexual partners and fuck buddies.

I love this.

I find it rather a depressing statement....but only based on what I value as an individual and we are all different..."

Why do you find it depressing? I think it's really positive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single male I'm not a swinger apparently!

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By *olarfox OP   Man
over a year ago

North Cambs


"No. I don't believe in soul mates. I don't believe that two people out of billions are meant to be together. I like variety and will continue to have that for the rest of my life. If I get a boyfriend who accepts it and does the same great if not I get everything I need from casual sexual partners and fuck buddies.

I love this.

I find it rather a depressing statement....but only based on what I value as an individual and we are all different...

Why do you find it depressing? I think it's really positive. "

Because, much as I love casual sex...and I really DO...I still see it mainly as another fun form of recreation...one of the nicest forms to be had. However, casual sex and FWBs will never and can never feel the same as making love to a person you are truly, whole heartedly, body and soul in love with. I believe if I find the latter again, I will probably no longer feel the need or desire to swing...or at least not for as long as that totally 'in love' feeling lasts....

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By *ovely CummingsWoman
over a year ago

Peaky Nipples


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?"

They would already be a swinger or open to it, at a minimum they'd know they aren't monogamous for them to be my ideal mate, soul mate etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to.

Highs are fun but it's the depth I like best, and the depth that is lacking in casual sex. "
kind of this not depth though feelings ,emotions ,loyalty,interest ,desire to be with ,regular ,unused

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By *ovely CummingsWoman
over a year ago

Peaky Nipples


"No. I don't believe in soul mates. I don't believe that two people out of billions are meant to be together. I like variety and will continue to have that for the rest of my life. If I get a boyfriend who accepts it and does the same great if not I get everything I need from casual sexual partners and fuck buddies. "

I do believe in soul mates, but in the plural.

That there are often multiple people that you connect with in that deep way, and it's not something that is exclusive to sexual partners

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By *ovely CummingsWoman
over a year ago

Peaky Nipples


"No. I don't believe in soul mates. I don't believe that two people out of billions are meant to be together. I like variety and will continue to have that for the rest of my life. If I get a boyfriend who accepts it and does the same great if not I get everything I need from casual sexual partners and fuck buddies.

I love this.

I find it rather a depressing statement....but only based on what I value as an individual and we are all different...

Why do you find it depressing? I think it's really positive.

Because, much as I love casual sex...and I really DO...I still see it mainly as another fun form of recreation...one of the nicest forms to be had. However, casual sex and FWBs will never and can never feel the same as making love to a person you are truly, whole heartedly, body and soul in love with. I believe if I find the latter again, I will probably no longer feel the need or desire to swing...or at least not for as long as that totally 'in love' feeling lasts...."

That sounds like you only have the all or nothing approach?

There are many relationships types between casual sex and making love, and many of them are far more fulfilling in an emotional way than casual sex

As for being in love with someone, you can have that and still have fun with others, it's just a way of thinking in my opinion

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By *ovely CummingsWoman
over a year ago

Peaky Nipples

[Removed by poster at 23/10/15 18:15:50]

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By *hinelleWoman
over a year ago

Huntingdon

Yes! Without a doubt

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By *olarfox OP   Man
over a year ago

North Cambs


"No. I don't believe in soul mates. I don't believe that two people out of billions are meant to be together. I like variety and will continue to have that for the rest of my life. If I get a boyfriend who accepts it and does the same great if not I get everything I need from casual sexual partners and fuck buddies.

I love this.

I find it rather a depressing statement....but only based on what I value as an individual and we are all different...

Why do you find it depressing? I think it's really positive.

Because, much as I love casual sex...and I really DO...I still see it mainly as another fun form of recreation...one of the nicest forms to be had. However, casual sex and FWBs will never and can never feel the same as making love to a person you are truly, whole heartedly, body and soul in love with. I believe if I find the latter again, I will probably no longer feel the need or desire to swing...or at least not for as long as that totally 'in love' feeling lasts....

That sounds like you only have the all or nothing approach?

There are many relationships types between casual sex and making love, and many of them are far more fulfilling in an emotional way than casual sex

As for being in love with someone, you can have that and still have fun with others, it's just a way of thinking in my opinion "

Yes, you are right, I am most definitely an all or nothing kind of guy, especially when it comes to 'lurve'...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd give it up for 'the one'.

Having been through one divorce and several failed relationships, I think 'the one' is akin to rocking horse pooh.

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?

I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to.

That's my ten pence anyway.

I find this hard to grasp, probably because I'm not a couple. I also find it really sad that a couple or anyone for that matter couldn't go back to making love and have a great sex life with their partners and only their partners

Being exclusive to one person is the definition of repetition. Repetition is, by definition, not exciting. Please lets agree on that, thats just dictionary definitions. That is not to say one partner can't be pleasant or fulfilling in other ways, but long term exciting it is not.

If want you want from sex is emotional satisfaction, affection and romance than yes you can be fine with one person. But swinging wins hands down for excitement.

I have to beg to differ that sex cannot be exciting with one person, if it is the right person. I swung solo for four years on and off between relationships, nsa sex, but when I met Mr law, and since, no other man can excite me in the way he does and I do not have any interest or desire in meeting another man .... at times, if the moment strikes, we will meet a TV, but realistically, nothing else is gloating my boat. On our first meet we discussed, where do you go from having experienced so much on the scene, and where we went (and are now) is into what could also be seen as a vanilla relationship which is exciting and fulfilling on all levels ... much more so than any swinging relationship can be. I feel a little sad for anyone that thinks sex with the same person would be boring ....

Few things are more dull than semantic debates. I don't deny that what you describe is fulfilling and pleasurable. But it's just a simple definition that variation is associated with excitement"

I don't think variation is necessarily equated with excitement - indeed, I think mindless and unfulfilling sex with many people without making any connection became boring and repetitive for me - it was variation of a sort, but actually it was all the same. Whereas with a 'soul mate' or someone you can connect with on many levels, there is always the potential for something new and exciting, some fun, a laugh, all those things ... I was not aware that I was bringing semantics into the discussion ... jet adding my opinion to the debate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been single since my last long term relationship broke up about 8 months ago - I imagine no longer being in a steady relationship is the reason behind a lot of single people swinging.

My question is this. If you were to find (not go looking for, but more likely just happen to meet) your ideal mate, as in soul mate, lover and best friend, would you give up swinging?

I think a lot of people would struggle to go back. The bottom line is that, for most people, swinging is a much more exciting form of sexual relationship. If they go back to vanilla they won't be able to get the same highs of excitement they've become accustomed to.

That's my ten pence anyway.

I find this hard to grasp, probably because I'm not a couple. I also find it really sad that a couple or anyone for that matter couldn't go back to making love and have a great sex life with their partners and only their partners

Being exclusive to one person is the definition of repetition. Repetition is, by definition, not exciting. Please lets agree on that, thats just dictionary definitions. That is not to say one partner can't be pleasant or fulfilling in other ways, but long term exciting it is not.

If want you want from sex is emotional satisfaction, affection and romance than yes you can be fine with one person. But swinging wins hands down for excitement.

I have to beg to differ that sex cannot be exciting with one person, if it is the right person. I swung solo for four years on and off between relationships, nsa sex, but when I met Mr law, and since, no other man can excite me in the way he does and I do not have any interest or desire in meeting another man .... at times, if the moment strikes, we will meet a TV, but realistically, nothing else is gloating my boat. On our first meet we discussed, where do you go from having experienced so much on the scene, and where we went (and are now) is into what could also be seen as a vanilla relationship which is exciting and fulfilling on all levels ... much more so than any swinging relationship can be. I feel a little sad for anyone that thinks sex with the same person would be boring ....

Few things are more dull than semantic debates. I don't deny that what you describe is fulfilling and pleasurable. But it's just a simple definition that variation is associated with excitement

I don't think variation is necessarily equated with excitement - indeed, I think mindless and unfulfilling sex with many people without making any connection became boring and repetitive for me - it was variation of a sort, but actually it was all the same. Whereas with a 'soul mate' or someone you can connect with on many levels, there is always the potential for something new and exciting, some fun, a laugh, all those things ... I was not aware that I was bringing semantics into the discussion ... jet adding my opinion to the debate"

Do you see any irony in coming on a swinging site to argue that sex with multiple partners is "mindless and unfulfilling"? If that was the experience of most swingers do you really think we'd be here? I think most people are here because it definately does fulfil a very natural urge.

The sex we have with other swingers is not romantic and it is not love making but it is definately not "mindless and unfulfilling" (for us or our partners)

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