FabSwingers.com forum: Depression

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It's good to talk anyone fancy a chat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you OK? do you need to talk OP?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I'll talk.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

You can pm if you need a chat x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you want to pm me OP I'm a very good listener and having been there and going through it still this past year x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I also suffer with depression , i hate my demons

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi, another one with depression here.

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By *andy6677Man
over a year ago

crewe

Former depression sufferer here if you want to talk about it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mrs L here, I had depression years ago and I'm now out of my darkest days. I know how low it makes you feel, and with the right medication and people to talk to hopefully you'll come through the other side and enjoy life again xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Woww. This is a swinging, sexually oriented site. I would never have expected to see this thread and even more never expected to see the replies. Not that my opinion counts for anything but I'm really impressed and somewhat touched by the way people are reaching out to help.- Ian

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been a sufferer for over 21 years. I'm here if anyone needs to talk or advice x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just to be my usual cynical self here but are you depressed and looking for someone to talk to op?

Or is it you're wanting depressed people (probably women) to message you so you can be a tender shoulder to cry on and hope it leads to more?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just to be my usual cynical self here but are you depressed and looking for someone to talk to op?

Or is it you're wanting depressed people (probably women) to message you so you can be a tender shoulder to cry on and hope it leads to more?

And I thought I was cynical

You really do see the bad in everybody don't you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey stay with it and find someone to talk to if you don't have anyone close. You can see by the number of replies you are never alone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have depression. Its not something you can easily admit to so well done OP. Talking definitely helps and with the right medication you can live a normal life. Well normal to everyone else lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just to be my usual cynical self here but are you depressed and looking for someone to talk to op?

Or is it you're wanting depressed people (probably women) to message you so you can be a tender shoulder to cry on and hope it leads to more?

And I thought I was cynical

You really do see the bad in everybody don't you

Personal experience.

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By *annooWoman
over a year ago

Hastings

Also a depression sufferer

We should all be an ear for someone

Great thread x

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By *o30Woman
over a year ago

Lincoln

I have depression, was diagnosed in Feb, I know how talking can help. Happy to chat OP, you know that x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As the saying goes..a problem shared is a problem halved...so yes its good to talk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have depression

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By *o30Woman
over a year ago

Lincoln

"I have depression

"
why the

face? It's nothing to be embarrassed about. Loads of people have depression these days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Or is it you're wanting depressed people (probably women) to message you so you can be a tender shoulder to cry on and hope it leads to more?"

In his defence though, the damaged ones do make the better shags

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depression sucks and the pills they give me to make it not suck sucks even more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also a depression sufferer

We should all be an ear for someone

Great thread x"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Or is it you're wanting depressed people (probably women) to message you so you can be a tender shoulder to cry on and hope it leads to more?

In his defence though, the damaged ones do make the better shags

"
pardon? Damaged?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depression sucks and the pills they give me to make it not suck sucks even more."

How long have you been on them they take a few weeks to work plus you might have to chop an change to find the right one for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"pardon? Damaged?"
That's what it looks like I might possibly have said doesn't it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"pardon? Damaged?That's what it looks like I might possibly have said doesn't it?

"
I don't think we are the damaged ones here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Or is it you're wanting depressed people (probably women) to message you so you can be a tender shoulder to cry on and hope it leads to more?

In his defence though, the damaged ones do make the better shags

I'm guessing tongue-in-cheek, but also an insight into you not understanding the biological deficit that is depression.

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By *o30Woman
over a year ago

Lincoln

"pardon? Damaged?That's what it looks like I might possibly have said doesn't it?

I don't think we are the damaged ones here."

I bet he's been blocked by a few people now for that comment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"pardon? Damaged?That's what it looks like I might possibly have said doesn't it?

I don't think we are the damaged ones here.

I bet he's been blocked by a few people now for that comment "
if he hasn't then he should be. X

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Just to be my usual cynical self here but are you depressed and looking for someone to talk to op?

Or is it you're wanting depressed people (probably women) to message you so you can be a tender shoulder to cry on and hope it leads to more?

and you normally offer up very good advice to the many sufferers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depression sucks and the pills they give me to make it not suck sucks even more."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my doc told me years ago that i was suffering depresion. when i went home and told the wife she just said...(what you effing moaning about everyones depressed just get on with it you soft c***). so i do just get on with it. at least i know where it stems from i suppose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, everyone isn't suffering with it.

It's a clinical illness. And so very misunderstood.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"my doc told me years ago that i was suffering depresion. when i went home and told the wife she just said...(what you effing moaning about everyones depressed just get on with it you soft c***). so i do just get on with it. at least i know where it stems from i suppose"
not everyone's clinically depressed. There's a difference in being fed up and depressed. Some people just can't understand the difference. She doesn't sound very supportive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You'd rather listen to the wife than a GP... Does she give advice on anaemia/diabetes and anything else that medication can help "correct"?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

You'd rather listen to the wife than a GP... Does she give advice on anaemia/diabetes and anything else that medication can help "correct"?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You'd rather listen to the wife than a GP... Does she give advice on anaemia/diabetes and anything else that medication can help "correct"?"
well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depression affects many, many people......talk to the people close to you if you can as well as talking to acquaintances - draw strength from the fact that other people face similar adversities and other pele care about you too. I find that relaxation exercises help with anxiety and alcohol makes me feel worse - but everyone is different. Big hug to you, pm me if you want to talk m x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have suffered with it on and off for decades and now been on meds for 4 years....no one can see it or comprehend unless they've been there themselves. Don't ever be ashamed once you say it out loud you find out just how many people suffer

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

Are you still married to her?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

and these forums can offer up someone to speak to but should never be in the absence of medical advice.

just because we may have experience, the GP should be the first port of call.

good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Suffered for many years, talking is always good, providing you have an understanding ear of course.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm guessing tongue-in-cheek, but also an insight into you not understanding the biological deficit that is depression. "

Yes of course it was tongue in cheek.

"Damaged" was the wrong choice of word; I should have said vulnerable, but too late to edit now.

Oh, and don't make assumptions about what I know 'cos, quite frankly, you don't know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I quite agree with all the other posters, I have suffered for 30 years,

It doesn't always come with any rhyme or reason, but pops up when it chooses to.... then you end up thinking wtf when you find yourself crying at a fooking strictly routine to bloody Elvis

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By *o30Woman
over a year ago

Lincoln

Depression is so misunderstood. There are different degrees of depression, different verities.

Most people have a bad day & say "I'm depressed" but some don't get what it means

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your wife sounds scared, many people are, of things that they don't quite understand, so they're dismissive.

Talk openly to your GP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hii i got diagnosed with that the other week doc gave me tablets for it not taken them tho dont see how it would help wouldnt mind talking to someone in similar situation so if u want can msg me x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you still married to her?"

we have been together 30 years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm guessing tongue-in-cheek, but also an insight into you not understanding the biological deficit that is depression.

Yes of course it was tongue in cheek.

"Damaged" was the wrong choice of word; I should have said vulnerable, but too late to edit now.

Oh, and don't make assumptions about what I know 'cos, quite frankly, you don't know."
why do vulnerable people make better shags? ? Are we desperate for company?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like my ex

I got post natal depression after the birth of my third child, when I got home my ex threw away my medication, he said post natal depression was a load of bollocks and it was just an excuse for fat women to mope about blaming their weight on having a child and being depressed

I really miss him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm guessing tongue-in-cheek, but also an insight into you not understanding the biological deficit that is depression.

Yes of course it was tongue in cheek.

"Damaged" was the wrong choice of word; I should have said vulnerable, but too late to edit now.

Oh, and don't make assumptions about what I know 'cos, quite frankly, you don't know."

I omitted the word perhaps, but since I'm not the one who has got a lot of people's backs up, I don't give a sausage!

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By *o30Woman
over a year ago

Lincoln

"I'm guessing tongue-in-cheek, but also an insight into you not understanding the biological deficit that is depression.

Yes of course it was tongue in cheek.

"Damaged" was the wrong choice of word; I should have said vulnerable, but too late to edit now.

Oh, and don't make assumptions about what I know 'cos, quite frankly, you don't know.why do vulnerable people make better shags? ? Are we desperate for company?

I must say, I'm enjoying watching him dig that hole a little deeper

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reading through this post made me feel happy on the inside. Seeing how many are willing to support others and no sarcy comments like "get over it", as many tend to have that approach towards depression. It also good that people are voicing their experiences or that they have it, since depression is meant to be a "taboo" subject. It gives me belief that Times are changing and humanity still remains

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"why do vulnerable people make better shags? ? Are we desperate for company?"

Did you not get that it was a fucking joke reflecting the potential attitude of the op.

Some people really need to get the fuck over themselves

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

So heart warming to see people pulling together and being so supportive. Also bring this subject in to the light where it shoyld be ,so people can see they aren't alone and educate those who aren't awear about depression or misinformed. Mental health so incredibly important but sadly under dicussed . X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm guessing tongue-in-cheek, but also an insight into you not understanding the biological deficit that is depression.

Yes of course it was tongue in cheek.

"Damaged" was the wrong choice of word; I should have said vulnerable, but too late to edit now.

Oh, and don't make assumptions about what I know 'cos, quite frankly, you don't know.why do vulnerable people make better shags? ? Are we desperate for company?

I must say, I'm enjoying watching him dig that hole a little deeper

"
think he's trying his best to wind us up. Was almost working but then I thought f**k it. Obviously knows nothing about true depression. Not his fault. He's one of the lucky ones !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"why do vulnerable people make better shags? ? Are we desperate for company?

Did you not get that it was a fucking joke reflecting the potential attitude of the op.

Some people really need to get the fuck over themselves

"
yes they do!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

THANKYOU for the positive comments, they are uplifting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've suffered depression in the past. I did find it extremely hard to admit it because I'm not the type of person to ask for help. I also tried to convince myself to get over it and get on with things as I don't like to fail.

My friends and family see me as the strong, independent and most rational person in our group and I felt like I was letting everyone down until I realised that I could still be all of those things and have mental health issues which took a long time.

It is nothing to be ashamed of and you'll be surprised at the people who have suffered from it. My old boss was the one who identified it in me, and he confided in me that he'd had it too. With the right help and support you can beat or manage it well but its really important to admit it and let somebody know that you need a little help.

Mrs x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"hii i got diagnosed with that the other week doc gave me tablets for it not taken them tho dont see how it would help wouldnt mind talking to someone in similar situation so if u want can msg me x"

A good doctor will prescribe, usually a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (ssri) AND talk with you. The ssri (or other types of antidepressant) is to help correct the chemicals /neurotransmitters in the brain. The brain can correct the imbalance if the depression is mild, so it is your choice what to do.

Look up depression and look into the areas where you can help yourself - ensure good nutrition, exercise (get out the house and have a stroll in the fresh air), don't isolate yourself (try not to push others away), ensure a good sleeping pattern if possible.

Ask the doctor for counselling for psychological trauma/problems.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Obviously knows nothing about true depression. Not his fault. He's one of the lucky ones !!"

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Nope, I actually know a lot about depression, I just prefer irreverent humour because I don't speak dirty laundry.

You're not the arbiter of what I find amusing (pretty much anything) and it's not my job to wrap people in cotton wool.

If you take offence at anything I say, well quite frankly, sweetheart, it ain't my problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Obviously knows nothing about true depression. Not his fault. He's one of the lucky ones !!

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Nope, I actually know a lot about depression, I just prefer irreverent humour because I don't speak dirty laundry.

You're not the arbiter of what I find amusing (pretty much anything) and it's not my job to wrap people in cotton wool.

If you take offence at anything I say, well quite frankly, sweetheart, it ain't my problem.

Since when is depression dirty laundry?

You seem to have a knack for saying the wrong thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Obviously knows nothing about true depression. Not his fault. He's one of the lucky ones !!

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Nope, I actually know a lot about depression, I just prefer irreverent humour because I don't speak dirty laundry.

You're not the arbiter of what I find amusing (pretty much anything) and it's not my job to wrap people in cotton wool.

If you take offence at anything I say, well quite frankly, sweetheart, it ain't my problem.

Since when is depression dirty laundry?

You seem to have a knack for saying the wrong thing."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just to be my usual cynical self here but are you depressed and looking for someone to talk to op?

Or is it you're wanting depressed people (probably women) to message you so you can be a tender shoulder to cry on and hope it leads to more?

and you normally offer up very good advice to the many sufferers."

Let's just say I've come across the latter before.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Obviously knows nothing about true depression. Not his fault. He's one of the lucky ones !!

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Nope, I actually know a lot about depression, I just prefer irreverent humour because I don't speak dirty laundry.

You're not the arbiter of what I find amusing (pretty much anything) and it's not my job to wrap people in cotton wool.

If you take offence at anything I say, well quite frankly, sweetheart, it ain't my problem.

Since when is depression dirty laundry?

You seem to have a knack for saying the wrong thing.

"
he's knows a lot about depression. I know a lot about cancer but thankfully I'm not a sufferer..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mental health resources are underfunded, so feel free to research depression through the MIND charity. Also, for under 25s, the YMCA may be able to help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Obviously knows nothing about true depression. Not his fault. He's one of the lucky ones !!

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Nope, I actually know a lot about depression, I just prefer irreverent humour because I don't speak dirty laundry.

You're not the arbiter of what I find amusing (pretty much anything) and it's not my job to wrap people in cotton wool.

If you take offence at anything I say, well quite frankly, sweetheart, it ain't my problem.

Dirty laundry?

From Merriam webster dictionary:

Full Definition of DIRTY LAUNDRY. : private matters whose public exposure brings distress and embarrassment —called also dirty linen.

Perceiving mental health issues, and public discussion of them, in this way can only hinder recovery.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a very real thing to most people. The brain is an organ that gets ill, like any other organ.

No one expects someone with kidney failure or a heart defect to man-up and get on with it without medication or help.

It's a chemical imbalance than can either be triggered by external factors, or be something one just has a genetic predisposition towards, like I do.

Seriously misunderstood subject.

Nice post, OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suffer from depression too, sometimes the bouts are really bad but thankfully don't happen that often.

OP, I know it can sometimes seem that people around you don't know what is occurring and will constantly ask what's wrong, sometimes when you just want to be left alone but they ask because they care about you and want to help if they can.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a very real thing to most people. The brain is an organ that gets ill, like any other organ.

No one expects someone with kidney failure or a heart defect to man-up and get on with it without medication or help.

It's a chemical imbalance than can either be triggered by external factors, or be something one just has a genetic predisposition towards, like I do.

Seriously misunderstood subject.

Nice post, OP."

A large part of the problem is the brain is so full of feedback loops that what starts out as a chemical imbalance (for whatever reason) can then lead to behaviour changes and experiences that continue the imbalance despite the original cause having passed as well as resulting in different thinking paternal that help continue the negative spiral.

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By *km45Man
over a year ago

UTTOXETER

Suffering from depression for the last two years myself. I've found this thread most uplifting and may I thank the op for being so honest. I never expected to see this on fab as I would have expected it would have scared so many people off but no there are so many offers of help. I have fought long and hard to avoid medication and use the power of positive thought which can be hard at times. My friends don't seem to understand it but got some great work colleagues who help.

And op if you need to talk please get in touch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a very real thing to most people. The brain is an organ that gets ill, like any other organ.

No one expects someone with kidney failure or a heart defect to man-up and get on with it without medication or help.

It's a chemical imbalance than can either be triggered by external factors, or be something one just has a genetic predisposition towards, like I do.

Seriously misunderstood subject.

Nice post, OP.

Precisely.

Once you've suffered a bout, your body will respond the same way thereafter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Since when is depression dirty laundry?

You seem to have a knack for saying the wrong thing."

You seem to have a knack (or a wilful desire) to take anything I say out of context.

I choose not to air my dirty linen on a hookup site - that doesn't mean I'm not knowledgeable about it.

The difference here is that some people believe there are subjects that should never be joked about - whereas I personally disagree and think everyone and everything is fair game.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a very real thing to most people. The brain is an organ that gets ill, like any other organ.

No one expects someone with kidney failure or a heart defect to man-up and get on with it without medication or help.

It's a chemical imbalance than can either be triggered by external factors, or be something one just has a genetic predisposition towards, like I do.

Seriously misunderstood subject.

Nice post, OP.

Precisely.

Once you've suffered a bout, your body will respond the same way thereafter."

Fortunately each time you drag your arse out the other side you get a little better at it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Since when is depression dirty laundry?

You seem to have a knack for saying the wrong thing.

You seem to have a knack (or a wilful desire) to take anything I say out of context.

I choose not to air my dirty linen on a hookup site - that doesn't mean I'm not knowledgeable about it.

The difference here is that some people believe there are subjects that should never be joked about - whereas I personally disagree and think everyone and everything is fair game.

With all due respect, this may be a 'hookup site', but I think it's also plain to see that there is also a community here too that does try to support members in aspects of their lives, whether lighthearted or serious. Maybe it might be a better idea to leave your jokes to the lighthearted threads.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I must admit before I started to read the Forums I never realised how many people suffered from depression. Certainly nothing to be ashamed of and pleased to say that thanks to supportive friends, family, my doctor and medication I have been free from it for three years. OP, counselling can be a great help if you feel the need to talk. Good to know there are so many decent kind people on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a very real thing to most people. The brain is an organ that gets ill, like any other organ.

No one expects someone with kidney failure or a heart defect to man-up and get on with it without medication or help.

It's a chemical imbalance than can either be triggered by external factors, or be something one just has a genetic predisposition towards, like I do.

Seriously misunderstood subject.

Nice post, OP.

Precisely.

Once you've suffered a bout, your body will respond the same way thereafter.

Fortunately each time you drag your arse out the other side you get a little better at it

Agreed. Each time reinforces that it's not forever.

The right medical help is key, too.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Woww. This is a swinging, sexually oriented site. I would never have expected to see this thread and even more never expected to see the replies. Not that my opinion counts for anything but I'm really impressed and somewhat touched by the way people are reaching out to help.- Ian"

Sex is between people and people are generally good and helpful I find

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a very real thing to most people. The brain is an organ that gets ill, like any other organ.

No one expects someone with kidney failure or a heart defect to man-up and get on with it without medication or help.

It's a chemical imbalance than can either be triggered by external factors, or be something one just has a genetic predisposition towards, like I do.

Seriously misunderstood subject.

Nice post, OP.

Precisely.

Once you've suffered a bout, your body will respond the same way thereafter.

Fortunately each time you drag your arse out the other side you get a little better at it

Agreed. Each time reinforces that it's not forever.

The right medical help is key, too. "
depression never totally leaves you but the right medication and support can help. I've tried all sorts over 21 years. I've finally found the right one....for now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a very real thing to most people. The brain is an organ that gets ill, like any other organ.

No one expects someone with kidney failure or a heart defect to man-up and get on with it without medication or help.

It's a chemical imbalance than can either be triggered by external factors, or be something one just has a genetic predisposition towards, like I do.

Seriously misunderstood subject.

Nice post, OP.

Precisely.

Once you've suffered a bout, your body will respond the same way thereafter.

Fortunately each time you drag your arse out the other side you get a little better at it

Agreed. Each time reinforces that it's not forever.

The right medical help is key, too. "

Yeah the drugs do help if you can stick with them. But if you know anyone who's starting out on ssris keep a bit of a close eye on them for the first few weeks if you can as they do increase the risk of suicide in the first few weeeks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just to be my usual cynical self here but are you depressed and looking for someone to talk to op?

Or is it you're wanting depressed people (probably women) to message you so you can be a tender shoulder to cry on and hope it leads to more?

Can't help but laugh, not at depression cos I've been there...but at cynicism.... Sad but quite often true...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a very real thing to most people. The brain is an organ that gets ill, like any other organ.

No one expects someone with kidney failure or a heart defect to man-up and get on with it without medication or help.

It's a chemical imbalance than can either be triggered by external factors, or be something one just has a genetic predisposition towards, like I do.

Seriously misunderstood subject.

Nice post, OP.

Precisely.

Once you've suffered a bout, your body will respond the same way thereafter.

Fortunately each time you drag your arse out the other side you get a little better at it

Agreed. Each time reinforces that it's not forever.

The right medical help is key, too. "

It can also be about making changes in your life too

I've only suffered with post natal depression after the birth of my 3rd child, I was incredibly unhappy in my marrage which was keeping me low, when me and my ex split up my life picked up I didn't feel low anymore

I'm not saying that will work for everybody

because that isn't the reason most are depressed

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes

I've not read the whole thread and I've never suffered from depression. However I have been depressed on occasions.

OP is there a reason why you might be feeling depressed at the moment? Has something gone wrong for you? If this is the case then the fact you may be feeling depressed is not a sign of depression but a perfectly normal reaction to something bad or sad that has happened in your life. This sort of feeling will, given time, sort its self out.

If, on the other hand, you have no real reason for feeling depressed, sad or just low and these feelings persist or occur regularly then you may have depression and, whilst talking helps, you should seek professional advice as, untreated, it will most likely get worse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"bit harsh, everybody's allowed an opinion without be subjected to abuse "

Abuse? I thought she was playing word association

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had depression for over 30 years and finally I've found the answer - meditation and mindfulness plus medication. I always made the mistake of stopping my meds when I felt better but now I'm permanently on them. I don't drink alcohol as that is a definite depressant and always refer to my mantra of "this will pass" when I'm having a particularly down day. I'm so glad this subject has come up in the forums. Nobody should suffer in silence. I'm here if anybody wants to chat about this debilitating illness xx

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Since when is depression dirty laundry?

You seem to have a knack for saying the wrong thing.

You seem to have a knack (or a wilful desire) to take anything I say out of context.

I choose not to air my dirty linen on a hookup site - that doesn't mean I'm not knowledgeable about it.

The difference here is that some people believe there are subjects that should never be joked about - whereas I personally disagree and think everyone and everything is fair game.

it's fickle though

you will see threads about the power of women and the sisterhood and everyone is beautiful, then threads ripping into a woman for her looks because she is a celebrity.... and it would appear fair game.

it's all very fickle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"With all due respect, this may be a 'hookup site', but I think it's also plain to see that there is also a community here too that does try to support members in aspects of their lives, whether lighthearted or serious. Maybe it might be a better idea to leave your jokes to the lighthearted threads."

It's cool you can dispense with the respect.

Nobody has the right to be the arbiter of anyone's sense of humour.

However, should you read back over this thread, you'll see my post was directed at the cynic who suggested the OP was targeting the vulnerable ... and so I embellished it with further sarcasm.

But meh, whatever...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Isn't this a thread about being an ear for people with depression, as opposed to targeting and berating one person for making a joke?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always available to discuss. Depression is one amongst many forms of suffering, and one amongst a few that has held sway on me.

Let's not argue over ill made comments and return to the subject which is more important

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/10/15 13:11:45]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"hii i got diagnosed with that the other week doc gave me tablets for it not taken them tho dont see how it would help wouldnt mind talking to someone in similar situation so if u want can msg me x

Ask the doctor for counselling for psychological trauma/problems. "

hi thanks for your reply ive not really done anything to solve figure it will sort itself out i do push people away and isolate myself to the point now ive got noone at all, grew up in care so talking to family is a little difficult but there not a good family anyway i was diagnosed with attachment dissorder when i was 15 so pushing people away i do a lot not on purpose but cant really help it as sad as that sounds i just hope it wont always be like this but finding a person u can trust is hard especially if ur own family have backstabbed you a couple of times x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"hii i got diagnosed with that the other week doc gave me tablets for it not taken them tho dont see how it would help wouldnt mind talking to someone in similar situation so if u want can msg me x

Ask the doctor for counselling for psychological trauma/problems.

That really sucks. Big hugs for you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mr here, mental illness is so misunderstood by people. Iv tried suicide 3 times in my life. But somehow I'm still here. I have bipolar and no I'm not one who is super sexual when manic but the other way round.

When I first became ill, I didn't want the medication, felt a looser and still do in many ways. But my GP was a top guy, he said its like a crutch, if I broke a leg, I'd use crutches to help me walk, I need meds to help me live, it's a aid not a cure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"hii i got diagnosed with that the other week doc gave me tablets for it not taken them tho dont see how it would help wouldnt mind talking to someone in similar situation so if u want can msg me x

Ask the doctor for counselling for psychological trauma/problems.

I also spend a lot of my childhood in care, being ping pinged around care homes and foster families, it's hard not having a family, I hate having nobody to talk to when I have problems, I only have my kids and I can't burden them, I think it's quite common for kids who have been in care to build a wall and hide behind it, I see it as a form of protection, it's like if you don't get close to people they can't leave you and let you down, even now as an adult I still get very upset over the fact my parents didn't want me, i havent seen them in about 30 years so i dont know why it still bothers me but it does, what happens to you as a child stays with you for the rest of your life an sometimes it's hard to get past that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"hii i got diagnosed with that the other week doc gave me tablets for it not taken them tho dont see how it would help wouldnt mind talking to someone in similar situation so if u want can msg me x

Ask the doctor for counselling for psychological trauma/problems.

hi fully understand where your coming from and guess it wont be going away learnt to deal with it now its in the past so gunna try leave it there is hard tho especially if u have noone to confide in im not good at talking anyway about my issues if u have kids if there old enough to understand kind of what ur going through its maybe not a bad thing to talk a lil with them to see if it helps you worth a try

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been suffering with depression for a few years and heartbreakingly I lost a girl I was seeing and one of my best friends due to suicide in Febuary. Don't let it win, the world needs you

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

If you type in mental health in the search box, there are a few threads with some good advice on.

Some websites and organisations are

Samaritans

Mind

Elefriends.

I did periodically put a few awareness threads up but I won't be in the future

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"hii i got diagnosed with that the other week doc gave me tablets for it not taken them tho dont see how it would help wouldnt mind talking to someone in similar situation so if u want can msg me x

Ask the doctor for counselling for psychological trauma/problems.

I was never in care, but I have a wall I can't share beyond also

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a battle, a constant, relentless battle. Every day requires every ounce of your strength to get through it. I can't think of any subject that has less comedic opportunity.

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By *UNCHBOXMan
over a year ago

folkestone

I got diagnosed with depression when i was in my early 20's. It took me ages to go to the doctors because of the embarassment i felt admitting i had a problem(as i lot of men do i guess).

I only told a few people as my best friend(at the time), really had a go at me when i told him i had depression, telling me i had nothing to be depressed about. I never really trusted him again as he was one of the first people i had told.

I was on medication for a few years, but gradually came off it and took up running instead as i found it helped my mood. I know i probably won't ever be over it, but i think i can keep it under control.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Since when is depression dirty laundry?

You seem to have a knack for saying the wrong thing.

You seem to have a knack (or a wilful desire) to take anything I say out of context.

I choose not to air my dirty linen on a hookup site - that doesn't mean I'm not knowledgeable about it.

The difference here is that some people believe there are subjects that should never be joked about - whereas I personally disagree and think everyone and everything is fair game.

"Exposure to depression equates to dirty linen", and I'm taking things out of context. Ok sunshine if you say so. Back to people with empathy....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a very real thing to most people. The brain is an organ that gets ill, like any other organ.

No one expects someone with kidney failure or a heart defect to man-up and get on with it without medication or help.

It's a chemical imbalance than can either be triggered by external factors, or be something one just has a genetic predisposition towards, like I do.

Seriously misunderstood subject.

Nice post, OP.

Precisely.

Once you've suffered a bout, your body will respond the same way thereafter.

Fortunately each time you drag your arse out the other side you get a little better at it

Agreed. Each time reinforces that it's not forever.

The right medical help is key, too. depression never totally leaves you but the right medication and support can help. I've tried all sorts over 21 years. I've finally found the right one....for now."

Depression does leave you but the more one has it triggered, the more likely it will be triggered. Discovering the key is extremely helpful to one's own recovery.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Depression does leave you but the more one has it triggered, the more likely it will be triggered. Discovering the key is extremely helpful to one's own recovery."

100%

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a very real thing to most people. The brain is an organ that gets ill, like any other organ.

No one expects someone with kidney failure or a heart defect to man-up and get on with it without medication or help.

It's a chemical imbalance than can either be triggered by external factors, or be something one just has a genetic predisposition towards, like I do.

Seriously misunderstood subject.

Nice post, OP."

well said X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didn't think depression was a real thing I really thought it was a mind set thing that you could easily control but I have been suffering with it for a few months now after an accident but now I realized how serious it is. everyone on here with depression keep ure head up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"hii i got diagnosed with that the other week doc gave me tablets for it not taken them tho dont see how it would help wouldnt mind talking to someone in similar situation so if u want can msg me x

Ask the doctor for counselling for psychological trauma/problems.

There are many people who have grown up in dysfunctional families which has lead them to having trust issues. The lack of grounding in childhood (the laying down of stable foundations) has not occurred, so trust me by telling you you're not alone.

YOU as an adult have to learn how to strengthen those foundations. YOU have to be your own parent/child/protector/friend. If you let yourself down, you have to forgive yourself. It's a very hard, but very worthwhile journey.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suffered from depression four years ago when I lost my relationship and my job (both of which I had had for ten years) in the same month. I still don't know what caused what - it was just a big bag of 'what the fuck?', and everything fell apart..

I took medication for a year, and it really helped to keep me on an even keel. I still have good days and bad days - I lose sleep and, when certain thoughts or memories spring to mind, I can find myself spiralling down.

I lost a lot of friends who didn't understand what I was going through - I guess you really do find out who your friends are at a time like that - and I find it hard not to regret reaching out to them. I guess no one wants to be around sad people. I'm lucky that I have an understanding family, and I'm not sure how I would've gotten through it without them.

Like many others here, I am surprised to have found this thread, and the amount of support people have offered is astounding and comforting. Makes me wish I'd been a part of this community years ago!

All the best to anyone who is struggling with this debilitating condition xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get in the gym. Best anti deppressive on the market.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I do think some people let their depression define them. Own it and live with it, rather than suffer from it.

I know easier said than done but in this internet led game, where self confidence and drive determines the fun we have on here, it is staggering the constant trice weekly threads on the subject. It should never be a badge of shame, it does feel like sometimes comes across like a badge of honour and an introductory starter for ten.

and vulnerability as the initial route to hook up is a concern

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a very real thing to most people. The brain is an organ that gets ill, like any other organ.

No one expects someone with kidney failure or a heart defect to man-up and get on with it without medication or help.

It's a chemical imbalance than can either be triggered by external factors, or be something one just has a genetic predisposition towards, like I do.

Seriously misunderstood subject.

Nice post, OP.

Precisely.

Once you've suffered a bout, your body will respond the same way thereafter.

Fortunately each time you drag your arse out the other side you get a little better at it

Agreed. Each time reinforces that it's not forever.

The right medical help is key, too. depression never totally leaves you but the right medication and support can help. I've tried all sorts over 21 years. I've finally found the right one....for now.

Depression does leave you but the more one has it triggered, the more likely it will be triggered. Discovering the key is extremely helpful to one's own recovery."
that's why I said it never leaves you. One trigger and it errupts again. Been there many times x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also is fab really a good place to be if you suffer with depression. More so single guys with all the rejection etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/10/15 18:20:13]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mr here, I was diagnosed with deep seated depression over 5 years ago and my wife made me get help, the pills do work but some can make you feel worse when you stop and you need to ween yourself off them, I was on pills for about a year untill I woke one morning a thought fuck this and I found other ways to deal with it. I can also now feel it coming on and the wife can recognise the signs aswell. she's a rock she takes all my mood swings. It's important your partner understands and knows how your feeling best thing for me is a big hug. Find ways to deal with it simple things like walking the dog does me the world of good and clears my head. My downfall is I bottle everything up in my head but talking does really help but I find it difficult to open up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a very real thing to most people. The brain is an organ that gets ill, like any other organ.

No one expects someone with kidney failure or a heart defect to man-up and get on with it without medication or help.

It's a chemical imbalance than can either be triggered by external factors, or be something one just has a genetic predisposition towards, like I do.

Seriously misunderstood subject.

Nice post, OP.

Precisely.

Once you've suffered a bout, your body will respond the same way thereafter.

Fortunately each time you drag your arse out the other side you get a little better at it

Agreed. Each time reinforces that it's not forever.

The right medical help is key, too. depression never totally leaves you but the right medication and support can help. I've tried all sorts over 21 years. I've finally found the right one....for now.

Depression does leave you but the more one has it triggered, the more likely it will be triggered. Discovering the key is extremely helpful to one's own recovery.that's why I said it never leaves you. One trigger and it errupts again. Been there many times x"

I think so!e can over come it completely

I suffered from depressing after the birth of my daughter 14 years ago, I was under a Psychiatric Nurse for about 18 months after, shortly after that my husband left me for another woman and I swear the minuit he left I felt myself picking up, I'm sure our unhappy marriage was the main reason for my depression and as soon as he was gone I could work in getting better, I stopped taking the tablets a couple of months later and I swear I have never felt low like that since

I suppose it depends on your reason for being depressed but sometimes getting away from certain situations can help you and I think some can over come it completely

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown

"It's good to talk anyone fancy a chat "

Happy for you to PM if you want to chat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting thread, and I always like to see it get awareness, I have had, as have many others and genuinely find it interesting how the mind works and how people react and cope. I have a friend that has it bad on medication currently, and even though he knows that my small friend group any of us he could talk to, he thinks none of us get it, which is the saddest part, and because I've suffered before it kinda gets me down. I tend to pull myself up and look at the positives, it's not a sign of weakness.

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By *aysmitMan
over a year ago

walsall

I also suffer from depression some days I don't even want to work feel self conscious my doctor have me citripan still feel so low tho sl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never suffered from depression but have suffered the after effects and I don't envy anyone who goes through it. My ex wife suffered with it for 9 years and can honestly say we both went through hell because of it. It's a dark lonely place to be but always remember their is a light at the end of the tunnel no matter how long the tunnel is its their.

God bless you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a very real thing to most people. The brain is an organ that gets ill, like any other organ.

No one expects someone with kidney failure or a heart defect to man-up and get on with it without medication or help.

It's a chemical imbalance than can either be triggered by external factors, or be something one just has a genetic predisposition towards, like I do.

Seriously misunderstood subject.

Nice post, OP.

Precisely.

Once you've suffered a bout, your body will respond the same way thereafter.

Fortunately each time you drag your arse out the other side you get a little better at it

Agreed. Each time reinforces that it's not forever.

The right medical help is key, too. depression never totally leaves you but the right medication and support can help. I've tried all sorts over 21 years. I've finally found the right one....for now.

If the chemicals become balanced then you are no longer suffering from depression. If it reoccurs then it is a new bout. Of course one can suffer chronic depression (long term).

Someone mentioned gym/exercise - this indeed is a great antidepressant but one has to be motivated. It may be best just to start having a regular walk in your locale. The reason why exercise is good is the adrenalin it produces - adrenaline has an alternative name of epinephrine. An imbalance of epinephrine/norepinephrine is also associated with depression (this has given rise to snris).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not quite so simple due to how your brain works the constant repeated negative thoughts will cause stronger neural connections to form relating to those thoughts.

So even once everything is OK, your brain will still default to negative thoughts and reactions because that's what it's used to. Hence things like cbt trying to make new processes and get your brain rewired so that when things are fixed you're not set up to fail by your own brain

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Google Clinical Depression.

I have suffered with it for years and it affects every part of your life. It is a terrible illness that needs intensive treatment.

It is not to be taken lightly and need intensive talking therapies to overcome it. J

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not quite so simple due to how your brain works the constant repeated negative thoughts will cause stronger neural connections to form relating to those thoughts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone free to chat?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Wow so many responses and so many kind words and it has helped a few people so well done fabbers to everyone who mailed me thanks I can't reply to all , a happier person for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I use to suffer from depression

There's so many people who suffer from this and there are so many different types of depression,

Some take medication and some like to talk about it, while many put a smile on face and suffer in silence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have suffered it on and off since I was 14 years old I'm 37 now and I'm currently going thru another "dark tunnel"at the moment and I don't know why this time, there are no triggers this time, last time was because I'd lost my job but this time I ain't got a clue why I'm feeling so empty and pointless, I'm gettin thru it slowly and hopefully be back to my daft jolly sarcastic self soon it's a horrible debilitating illness that can be so easily misunderstood and my heart goes out to anybody that has to experience that horrible dark demon that gets inside their minds and hope they fight the horrible Fucker off sucessfully xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not quite so simple due to how your brain works the constant repeated negative thoughts will cause stronger neural connections to form relating to those thoughts.

That's why medication alone is not as successful as with talking therapies. Depression affects one biologically, psychologically and socially and should be tackled as such.

Anyone with depression, if you can access counselling through work, then do so. Counsellors are not a quick fix nor do they become a crutch but they should be able to empower you/help you to help yourself.

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By *ordsandstuffMan
over a year ago

Highbury

I wasn't one of the people who has written to OP but having read this thread I am humbled.

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