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By *otswbabe OP   Couple
over a year ago

north cornwall

We have a lot of trouble trying to find out whether guys play safe all the time or not as they are surprise surprise not honest about it. I do wonder whether a selection button like those of smoker or non smoker would help at least initially. I realise that this is easy to select incorrectly but think it might still be helpful. What do you think?

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By *eizvollWoman
over a year ago

in my own little world :-)

Surely if they lie about it now, they will lie when selecting anyway?

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"Surely if they lie about it now, they will lie when selecting anyway?"

that is exactly what I would say.. people are not always forthcoming with all of the information at the moment, I love to think you could guilt people into telling the truth...but if they are lying already I don't that would change!!

they only thing in reality you can do is to protect yourself.....

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By *otswbabe OP   Couple
over a year ago

north cornwall

[Removed by poster at 23/12/10 02:09:25]

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By *otswbabe OP   Couple
over a year ago

north cornwall

Yes but they will at least be forced to choose and not able the hedge their bets.

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside


"Yes but they will at least be forced to choose and not able the hedge their bets."

And they will all choose "play safe"

It's easy though if they dont want to wear a condom then don't play with them - simples!!!!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"Yes but they will at least be forced to choose and not able the hedge their bets."

so if they pick safe sex (which the is actually an option for in "interests") and they bareback with other people, unless god is going to strike them down for fibbing, how are you going to know if they are telling the truth?

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By *otswbabe OP   Couple
over a year ago

north cornwall

love the idea about being struck down... can a button be arranged for that?

Actually I do have a method which has proven quite effective. Just chat and suddenly ask them how they feel about bareback. More often than not they say, love it, or i would for you, or i do if i get to know someone! Goodbye!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"love the idea about being struck down... can a button be arranged for that?

Actually I do have a method which has proven quite effective. Just chat and suddenly ask them how they feel about bareback. More often than not they say, love it, or i would for you, or i do if i get to know someone! Goodbye! "

well then isn't your method actually better than a simple yes/no answer then? if that works for you then stick with it....

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By *otswbabe OP   Couple
over a year ago

north cornwall

Not thinking of stopping my interregation, just think that why not make them choose? If they are after bareback they may be tempted to say so! Not suggesting its a fool proof method simply another tool to rule out the tools lol

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By *eizvollWoman
over a year ago

in my own little world :-)


"Not thinking of stopping my interregation, just think that why not make them choose? If they are after bareback they may be tempted to say so! Not suggesting its a fool proof method simply another tool to rule out the tools lol "

But you've already said people lie........... and then there are the ones who will with some but not with others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

all you can do is protect yourself the best you can, people will always lie to get a meet, they just tell you what you want to hear

assum everyone at some point play bareback, protect yourself accordingly and you not go far wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like NN has stated up above, thats all you can do. There are definitely some idiots out there who will say one thing but in reality hope that you will forget at the point of insertion and let them go bareback.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

saw a profile last week and every pic was bareback and both the couple and the guy had safe sex ticked

nowt as funny as folk..

protect yourself x

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By *-and-KCouple
over a year ago

Back of Beyond

This is why I like to see photo's of sex in the public profile. Its easy to spot those couples or guys not having protected sex, so we don't progress the contact any further.

And before someone mentions it, you can mostly tell in the pics who the hubby/partner is. For instance a woman having sex in the pics with multiple cocks no condoms, fairly gives it away. Similarly on a guys profile, if he can be seen having condomless sex with anyone also gives it away. Don't go any further with the contact.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"We have a lot of trouble trying to find out whether guys play safe all the time or not as they are surprise surprise not honest about it. I do wonder whether a selection button like those of smoker or non smoker would help at least initially. I realise that this is easy to select incorrectly but think it might still be helpful. What do you think? "

As your profile states safe sex and when you ask them they are just going so say they don't do bareback and lie just to get a shag.

Maybe remove any references to safe sex and ask any potential meets if they do bareback, any that do might think they are 'in' and reveal the truth...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"saw a profile last week and every pic was bareback and both the couple and the guy had safe sex ticked

nowt as funny as folk..

protect yourself x"

i remember a guy mailing me once, and i dont usually judge people on if they use condoms or not but i found his profile so funny i just had to coment

he had stated safe sex only but on his pics i counted at least 4 different women, i think there was more but couldnt quite tell on some, and not a condom in sight, so i questioned why he asked for safe sex when he ovbiously didnt practise it and he replied that all the women in his pics was ex girfriends thats why he didnt use condoms with then

whats the likelyhood of that?

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"saw a profile last week and every pic was bareback and both the couple and the guy had safe sex ticked

nowt as funny as folk..

protect yourself x

i remember a guy mailing me once, and i dont usually judge people on if they use condoms or not but i found his profile so funny i just had to coment

he had stated safe sex only but on his pics i counted at least 4 different women, i think there was more but couldnt quite tell on some, and not a condom in sight, so i questioned why he asked for safe sex when he ovbiously didnt practise it and he replied that all the women in his pics was ex girfriends thats why he didnt use condoms with then

whats the likelyhood of that? "

I think that's really likely. I've had several blokes say that so it must be true!

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By *ouple1234Couple
over a year ago

BELFAST UK


"saw a profile last week and every pic was bareback and both the couple and the guy had safe sex ticked

nowt as funny as folk..

protect yourself x"

I see that alot aswell when having a wee flick over profiles for something to do, there is loads of pics with people going bareback but say 'safe sex is a must'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would never expect nothing but safe sex, no condom no play, not worth risking my health or that of anyone I play with.

My profile cleary states no bareback and I don't make excetions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"saw a profile last week and every pic was bareback and both the couple and the guy had safe sex ticked

nowt as funny as folk..

protect yourself x

I see that alot aswell when having a wee flick over profiles for something to do, there is loads of pics with people going bareback but say 'safe sex is a must' "

some maybe genuine pics of sex with their ex partners, i was with my ex years and we didnt use condoms so if i put a shagging pic up of when i was with him there would be no condoms in the pic, but when you see profiles with several different people in and no condoms i think we can assum they having unprotected sex at some point

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham


"there is loads of pics with people going bareback but say 'safe sex is a must' "

When they say “safe sex only” I thought it meant indoors only, i.e. no dogging etc., etc.,

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By *uro anchorMan
over a year ago

Coventry


"all you can do is protect yourself the best you can, people will always lie to get a meet, they just tell you what you want to hear

assum everyone at some point play bareback, protect yourself accordingly and you not go far wrong"

Ive never lied to get a meet xx

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By *ouple1234Couple
over a year ago

BELFAST UK


"there is loads of pics with people going bareback but say 'safe sex is a must'

When they say “safe sex only” I thought it meant indoors only, i.e. no dogging etc., etc., "

your a funny bugger i see lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why dont you just insist that men u meet wear a condom ???? and if they refuse then dont av sex with them ...sorted

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By *iteskinMan
over a year ago

Cardiff/Newport/Bristol/M4

i will throw this in the mix then

when ANY of you do oral sex i take it you use condoms/femidoms then as well

i dont know the amount of things you can get in the mouth/lips is astounding best we all fuck in rubber/black bin liners then

whats that on the side or your mouth???lmao

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"why dont you just insist that men u meet wear a condom ???? and if they refuse then dont av sex with them ...sorted "

I think the OP means they don't do meets with blokes who bareback, whether they wear a condom for them or not.

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By *otswbabe OP   Couple
over a year ago

north cornwall

That is exactly what I mean. Not only do we always play safe we want to meet guys who only ever play safe and who are just as careful about their sexual partners as we are.

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By *iteskinMan
over a year ago

Cardiff/Newport/Bristol/M4

what about bi girls?? presume they are into oral and toys yes??

do they use tongue condoms??

clean their toys before sharing them with each other EVERYTIME??

see the list could go on

my advice is just be selective and be as safe as YOU can

but then sex is meant to be dirty right lol


"That is exactly what I mean. Not only do we always play safe we want to meet guys who only ever play safe and who are just as careful about their sexual partners as we are."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I actually came across this yesterday with a couple I was talking to,the subject of safe sex came up on I said I only do safe sex,no bareback,and they said well we prefer bareback and I said well sadly your not for me. I just wish they had put this on their profile and saved time. But they did say and it did get me thinking,well do you practice safe oral sex? I said no,so what is really safe?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Abstinance is safe...the rest is a sliding scale with bareback bending the needle on the 'stupidometer'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My moto.... No glove No love simple God knows wat STDs are out there if i talk to a cpl or a single fem before a meet and they say bareback i just say sorry its not for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and I state it for all to see on my profile but still does not stop Barebackers contacting me. I do think there should be an option on here as with safesex,there should be a bareback option,then you know who to avoid. But I have to laugh have seen so called barebackers who have safesex on their profile,no wonder peeps are confused!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That is exactly what I mean. Not only do we always play safe we want to meet guys who only ever play safe and who are just as careful about their sexual partners as we are."

but some do not show their verifcations or advertise the fact they are barebackers so how are we to know?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"and I state it for all to see on my profile but still does not stop Barebackers contacting me. I do think there should be an option on here as with safesex,there should be a bareback option,then you know who to avoid. But I have to laugh have seen so called barebackers who have safesex on their profile,no wonder peeps are confused!"

Look at the profiles of those who openly INSIST on bareback...then look at the men they have met and see if you can find one that DOESN'T have 'safe sex' on their profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"and I state it for all to see on my profile but still does not stop Barebackers contacting me. I do think there should be an option on here as with safesex,there should be a bareback option,then you know who to avoid. But I have to laugh have seen so called barebackers who have safesex on their profile,no wonder peeps are confused!

Look at the profiles of those who openly INSIST on bareback...then look at the men they have met and see if you can find one that DOESN'T have 'safe sex' on their profile "

I do that all the time bertie and have turned many a man down because of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is fun and fantasy for me. If I wanted to be completely safe and not take any kind of risk, I'd wrap myself up in cotton wool, keep a dildo in a steriliser and take it out once in a while to pleasure myself.

That's not what I want, so I try and keep myself as sexually safe as possible. I'm 50: an old cynic. I assume everyone is lying, and everyone is having bareback sex when not with me. With that in mind I ensure I always supply the condoms and put it on before play. All my toys are cleaned using specialist cleaners and a condom is always used.

With that I go on and have a jolly old time.

It is absolutely pointless tying yourself up in knots providing questionnaires for would be playmates, checking their verifications and all the verifications of their playmates - do you people really believe they only shag the people on their lists or on this site?!!

For those of you who play in clubs with people who's first names you don't even know, hot damn, with some people's who's faces you don't even see...are you telling me you quiz them about playing bareback?!!

My Aunt Fanny you do! Some of you just want to talk about barebackers for the sake of it - and that's your right to do so. But please, don't kid yourself that all the people you've carefully selected, screened and ratified have never played bareback...they have.

So you have two choices - take care of your own business and have fun...or you invest in some cotton wool!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would never expect nothing but safe sex, no condom no play, not worth risking my health or that of anyone I play with.

My profile cleary states no bareback and I don't make excetions "

Remember wearing a condom does not protect you 100% from some STD,s and skin conditions.

I have seen some profiles that say they insist on a Gum clinic report, what use is that?It's a snap shot of somebodies sexual health that can be up to 3 months old for HIV . If you have sex with strangers there is an element of " Russian roulette " in doing it, condom or no condom.

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By *iteskinMan
over a year ago

Cardiff/Newport/Bristol/M4

Never a truer word spoken HIT IT ON THE NAIL!


"This is fun and fantasy for me. If I wanted to be completely safe and not take any kind of risk, I'd wrap myself up in cotton wool, keep a dildo in a steriliser and take it out once in a while to pleasure myself.

That's not what I want, so I try and keep myself as sexually safe as possible. I'm 50: an old cynic. I assume everyone is lying, and everyone is having bareback sex when not with me. With that in mind I ensure I always supply the condoms and put it on before play. All my toys are cleaned using specialist cleaners and a condom is always used.

With that I go on and have a jolly old time.

It is absolutely pointless tying yourself up in knots providing questionnaires for would be playmates, checking their verifications and all the verifications of their playmates - do you people really believe they only shag the people on their lists or on this site?!!

For those of you who play in clubs with people who's first names you don't even know, hot damn, with some people's who's faces you don't even see...are you telling me you quiz them about playing bareback?!!

My Aunt Fanny you do! Some of you just want to talk about barebackers for the sake of it - and that's your right to do so. But please, don't kid yourself that all the people you've carefully selected, screened and ratified have never played bareback...they have.

So you have two choices - take care of your own business and have fun...or you invest in some cotton wool! "

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures


"

Ive never lied to get a meet xx"

I have loads of times .....

Sorry boss (feigned cough), I'm feeling ill today (another feigned cough) and I'm going to work from home

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By *uro anchorMan
over a year ago

Coventry


"

Ive never lied to get a meet xx

I have loads of times .....

Sorry boss (feigned cough), I'm feeling ill today (another feigned cough) and I'm going to work from home"

i dont have a boss..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One guy begged me to go bb he said he had been tested. I said no chance he was shocked i refused to meet him a 2nd time and blocked me........... see no names

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is fun and fantasy for me. If I wanted to be completely safe and not take any kind of risk, I'd wrap myself up in cotton wool, keep a dildo in a steriliser and take it out once in a while to pleasure myself.

That's not what I want, so I try and keep myself as sexually safe as possible. I'm 50: an old cynic. I assume everyone is lying, and everyone is having bareback sex when not with me. With that in mind I ensure I always supply the condoms and put it on before play. All my toys are cleaned using specialist cleaners and a condom is always used.

With that I go on and have a jolly old time.

It is absolutely pointless tying yourself up in knots providing questionnaires for would be playmates, checking their verifications and all the verifications of their playmates - do you people really believe they only shag the people on their lists or on this site?!!

For those of you who play in clubs with people who's first names you don't even know, hot damn, with some people's who's faces you don't even see...are you telling me you quiz them about playing bareback?!!

My Aunt Fanny you do! Some of you just want to talk about barebackers for the sake of it - and that's your right to do so. But please, don't kid yourself that all the people you've carefully selected, screened and ratified have never played bareback...they have.

So you have two choices - take care of your own business and have fun...or you invest in some cotton wool! "

so well put !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I certainly dont believe any guy who has said the pics are ex girlfriends - and if they are, wonder if the exes know they are being featured on the internet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i actually dont care about what people do with others, if they want to shag bareback thats none of my buisness, all i ask is that they respect my wishes if they decide to meet me, or say no thanks, whatever that may be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single guy who insists on safe sex, I'm shocked at the number of ladies and couples on here who specify that they want bareback

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a single guy who insists on safe sex, I'm shocked at the number of ladies and couples on here who specify that they want bareback"

Ive had guys turn up for meets without condoms what category do they come under chancers or just tight gits ?

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

well people I know that some are more bothered than others... understandable. Personally its our choice to have a ball, all the while being picky and doing our best to try and out the playmates who arent looking for the same as us. We dont play with strangers at clubs, and dont do many of the higher risk activities but as I say our choice. If only everyone was as honest about things as us it could make life a lot easier. have read the comments with interest although havent spotted anything i havent already known. i stubbornly still think why not employ as many different ways to be safe as possible and anything like a choice on profile that could help is a positive thing. Of course not to be relied on but a starting point where they have to choose a side of the fence. I know, stubborn cow but proud of it!

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By *umpingJackFlashMan
over a year ago

Somewhere near you?


"As a single guy who insists on safe sex, I'm shocked at the number of ladies and couples on here who specify that they want bareback

Ive had guys turn up for meets without condoms what category do they come under chancers or just tight gits ?"

Stupid gits more like!

I always carry some condoms. Even when not on a meet as you never know!

Better to be safe than sorry to be bothering the STD clinic.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"

Ive had guys turn up for meets without condoms what category do they come under chancers or just tight gits ?"

Maybe their previous experience has been with women who insist on providing their own, as exemplified above.

I reckon I supply about 20% of the condoms I wear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Protect yourself. I see too many profiles that say "safe sex" and nearly every photo they have is a guy not wearing a condom. If you live a swinging life, I feel it's compulsory to wear one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i always have them also i expect guys to have them am not the bloody family planning clinic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i always provide them..and I will tell the person too.

I don't understand how there are negative comments based on men not turning up prepared and how that is bad of them...I would assume the conversation occurs before the meet.

what if no-one had them?! wasted precious time there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

got a draw full

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By *ue care and attentionWoman
over a year ago

birmingham


"i always have them also i expect guys to have them am not the bloody family planning clinic"

I always play safe and I go to Boots to get regular free testing and free condoms (or femidoms if you prefer them). I always have condoms with me and would never leave that to chance. I also prefer the latex free ones which Boots also do.

Why leave things to chance when anyone has access to free protection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i always have them also i expect guys to have them am not the bloody family planning clinic

I always play safe and I go to Boots to get regular free testing and free condoms (or femidoms if you prefer them). I always have condoms with me and would never leave that to chance. I also prefer the latex free ones which Boots also do.

Why leave things to chance when anyone has access to free protection. "

i didnt know you could get tested at boots i go to preston hospital every 3 months

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

off to boots to get all my free stuff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I feel it's compulsory to wear one.

"

You may but it's not!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Ive had guys turn up for meets without condoms what category do they come under chancers or just tight gits ?

Maybe their previous experience has been with women who insist on providing their own, as exemplified above.

I reckon I supply about 20% of the condoms I wear."

i always have my own condoms, i cant use latex and very few people buy none latex ones unless they need to so i always have mine so i know there are some i can use if i need to

about people without condoms tho i have to say i find it shocking the amount of guys who go to clubs without them, makes no difference to me as i use my own anyway but just the fact very few guys i go into rooms with have any on them suprises me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bareback or not i have found this site has soooo many fakes that its hard to trust anyone on first impressions.

i'm an open bi male and the amount of men that mail me with a straight profile is unbelievable.

so its not easy to accept what you have been told as the truth.

also dont forget a condom is by no means total protection.

so make sure you get checked regular and dont look down on the barebackers as in this lifestyle its each to their own.

be honest and open and allow people the chance to make an informed choice.

its not much to ask

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

Just on the subject of women playing together vs protection, I found an old thread of mine: search "Barefront":

http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/17827

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i would but i'm to d*unk.

im gonna have a wank and passout somewhere warm..... shame its not warm and wet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol good night then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lmao

if thats a good night id hate to have a bad night.

i hope yours are much more fulfilling

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By *ittle-Miss-MuffetCouple
over a year ago

Chester / North Wales

Curious, but no one ever mentions how many non-swinging sexual partners someone may have , where they are FAR more likely to have had unprotected sex of some sort, relationships or otherwise.

Does anyone ever ask someone how many bf's / gf's someone's had in the past and if they used condoms? Probably not..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Curious, but no one ever mentions how many non-swinging sexual partners someone may have , where they are FAR more likely to have had unprotected sex of some sort, relationships or otherwise.

Does anyone ever ask someone how many bf's / gf's someone's had in the past and if they used condoms? Probably not.."

yes I do actually and I won't not use a condom with a long term bf until he's been tested and it's ok. But what barebackers do not realise it's not only diseases you can catch but you can get pregnant too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/12/10 12:55:15]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Curious, but no one ever mentions how many non-swinging sexual partners someone may have , where they are FAR more likely to have had unprotected sex of some sort, relationships or otherwise.

Does anyone ever ask someone how many bf's / gf's someone's had in the past and if they used condoms? Probably not..

yes I do actually and I won't not use a condom with a long term bf until he's been tested and it's ok. But what barebackers do not realise it's not only diseases you can catch but you can get pregnant too! "

I'm 50...anyone I meet my age is going have had a past. Why do I need to know who they had before me? They could have had one partner, married for 30 years but that partner was on swinging sites posing as a single banging every Tom, Dick and Harry!

People get hung up on numbers...it only takes ONE infected person!

Add to that...if they said "I'm a virgin, you're the first" you'd believe them, right?!!

Haaa haaa haaa haaa...yep, didn't think so!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is fun and fantasy for me. If I wanted to be completely safe and not take any kind of risk, I'd wrap myself up in cotton wool, keep a dildo in a steriliser and take it out once in a while to pleasure myself.

That's not what I want, so I try and keep myself as sexually safe as possible. I'm 50: an old cynic. I assume everyone is lying, and everyone is having bareback sex when not with me. With that in mind I ensure I always supply the condoms and put it on before play. All my toys are cleaned using specialist cleaners and a condom is always used.

With that I go on and have a jolly old time.

It is absolutely pointless tying yourself up in knots providing questionnaires for would be playmates, checking their verifications and all the verifications of their playmates - do you people really believe they only shag the people on their lists or on this site?!!

For those of you who play in clubs with people who's first names you don't even know, hot damn, with some people's who's faces you don't even see...are you telling me you quiz them about playing bareback?!!

My Aunt Fanny you do! Some of you just want to talk about barebackers for the sake of it - and that's your right to do so. But please, don't kid yourself that all the people you've carefully selected, screened and ratified have never played bareback...they have.

So you have two choices - take care of your own business and have fun...or you invest in some cotton wool! "

Agreed, saves a lot of typing, there’s a lot of very naive people on this site if they think having safe sex ticked means they are always having safe sex.

Everyone should just assume that everybody on here is having unsafe sex and make sure you take your own precautions if and when meeting others.

Merry Christmas all….

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By *ittle-Miss-MuffetCouple
over a year ago

Chester / North Wales


"Curious, but no one ever mentions how many non-swinging sexual partners someone may have , where they are FAR more likely to have had unprotected sex of some sort, relationships or otherwise.

Does anyone ever ask someone how many bf's / gf's someone's had in the past and if they used condoms? Probably not..

yes I do actually and I won't not use a condom with a long term bf until he's been tested and it's ok. But what barebackers do not realise it's not only diseases you can catch but you can get pregnant too!

I'm 50...anyone I meet my age is going have had a past. Why do I need to know who they had before me? They could have had one partner, married for 30 years but that partner was on swinging sites posing as a single banging every Tom, Dick and Harry!

People get hung up on numbers...it only takes ONE infected person!

Add to that...if they said "I'm a virgin, you're the first" you'd believe them, right?!!

Haaa haaa haaa haaa...yep, didn't think so!!"

That was my point -it DOES only take one. But people put so much enphasis on using a condom when they swing as though it is some invincible shield or something, which it isn't. All you can do is make yourself safer. How far you go to do that is down to individual choice. For some that may mean getting STD checked to the max and STILL using a condom, others may feel that as they don't sleep with that many partners that being selective alone is enough for them, but there is no right and wrong.

As for pregnancy.. come on, really? Anyone that get's pregnant through swinging would have to do so deliberately. Oops I forgot to take my pill, and oh no, the condom broke.. and I can't get to the chemist for the morning after pill.. and blimey, just happens to be at my most fertile time too. How unlucky can one person be?

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By *ittle-Miss-MuffetCouple
over a year ago

Chester / North Wales

Just to point out, we ALWAYS play safe. In my rant I seemed to miss that out and it seemed like I was advocating bareback - I'm not, but it's choice. Just that some people tend to forget about the safe sex thin in their private life effects their swinging life too.

Phew!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As your profile states safe sex and when you ask them they are just going so say they don't do bareback and lie just to get a shag.

Maybe remove any references to safe sex and ask any potential meets if they do bareback, any that do might think they are 'in' and reveal the truth... "

'

Now that sounds like a good idea!

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By *ibs TcCouple
over a year ago

bracknell


"saw a profile last week and every pic was bareback and both the couple and the guy had safe sex ticked

nowt as funny as folk..

protect yourself x"

Funny that we had a social meet a while ago with a couple - everything was fine etc with the intention of meeting up again to play. Then we noticed every time we logged on the was a meeting event from them looking for bareback fun etc

Have to admit it put us off as it was going to be our first time playing and are/will be only looking for safe sex.

Now we are not judging but surely safe sex should be just that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bareback sex puts me off

and if i met anyone and they tried it on i would slap them silly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" But what barebackers do not realise it's not only diseases you can catch but you can get pregnant too! "

now that brings a interesting question

does any women on here rely solely on condoms as their means of birth control?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" But what barebackers do not realise it's not only diseases you can catch but you can get pregnant too!

now that brings a interesting question

does any women on here rely solely on condoms as their means of birth control?"

I would hope not but have come across a few profiles and women want to get pregnant and also a male profile who wants to get women pregnant all for the bloody fun of it! Whatever next?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" But what barebackers do not realise it's not only diseases you can catch but you can get pregnant too!

now that brings a interesting question

does any women on here rely solely on condoms as their means of birth control?

I would hope not but have come across a few profiles and women want to get pregnant and also a male profile who wants to get women pregnant all for the bloody fun of it! Whatever next?"

I've seen a few of those. Another site I'm on couples seek out single men for pregnancy risk sex. Oh I'd like to think these were fantatists and fakes!

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By *inktherapyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

up until earlier this year, yes - which included with ppl met on other sites. I found it a good way to insist they wore them - scared them silly Now I've had an op, so don't need them for contraception purposes, just hesalth & safety

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/12/10 22:31:03]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

totally agree..i have met a couple of men who have tried not to use anything...no go i am afraid, don't know where you have been! Safe sex always.

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

Back to the points a little :

1. Why is there not / can't be an option here to tick for bareback? This has been asked a few times in over the years we've been on here but we never saw (maybe we missed it) a reply from mods or site admins explaining the policy.

2. Why is it not reasonable that some people can enjoy both bareback AND safe sex, surely they are not mutually exclusive activities are they? We've enjoyed both many times. Are they being dishonest if they tick 'safe sex' when they enjoy both?

3. Should soft swingers tick 'safe sex'? They can't really honstly tick 'safe sex' as they don't do penetration except with their own partner and you can pretty much guarantee they only bareback with them.

4. Why oh why does everyone seem to believe putting bareback on your profile means less people will want to meet you?

We used to think that was the case just because everyone seems to suggest it is, without any proof that is the case. Eventually we decided to find out for ourselves.

We are being totally honest here - if you put bareback on your profile not only will you find people who share your enjoyment, from our experience you will also get more contacts too.

Interestingly a lot will be couples who tick safe sex. Some of them want to bareback with us, some of them want to safe(r) sex with us. Is that really a problem?

x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree there should be a bareback option on here as lots do enjoy it on here and getting back to your profile it's clear and honest unlike alot on her who practice so called safe sex but are really into bareback xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its each to there own here .. If thats what People like bareback thats fine just put it in Big letters in your profile loads love it here .... God you can get just as much from oral . if people think safe using condoms thay are silly its High risk sex all of it is ,,, with people you dont know ... and where thay have been ...... but like i say its each to there own loads love the risk it turns them on. No one should say whats right whats wrong as people are not the same here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" As for pregnancy.. come on, really? Anyone that get's pregnant through swinging would have to do so deliberately. Oops I forgot to take my pill, and oh no, the condom broke.. and I can't get to the chemist for the morning after pill.. and blimey, just happens to be at my most fertile time too. How unlucky can one person be?"

I got pregnant (in a r/ship, NOT SWINGING I hasten to add) when using a condom, it slipped, I got the morning after pill (more effective the sooner you take it after unprotected sex) within 12 hours and still got pregnant... so it definitely can happen!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Back to the points a little :

1. Why is there not / can't be an option here to tick for bareback? This has been asked a few times in over the years we've been on here but we never saw (maybe we missed it) a reply from mods or site admins explaining the policy.

2. Why is it not reasonable that some people can enjoy both bareback AND safe sex, surely they are not mutually exclusive activities are they? We've enjoyed both many times. Are they being dishonest if they tick 'safe sex' when they enjoy both?

3. Should soft swingers tick 'safe sex'? They can't really honstly tick 'safe sex' as they don't do penetration except with their own partner and you can pretty much guarantee they only bareback with them.

4. Why oh why does everyone seem to believe putting bareback on your profile means less people will want to meet you?

We used to think that was the case just because everyone seems to suggest it is, without any proof that is the case. Eventually we decided to find out for ourselves.

We are being totally honest here - if you put bareback on your profile not only will you find people who share your enjoyment, from our experience you will also get more contacts too.

Interestingly a lot will be couples who tick safe sex. Some of them want to bareback with us, some of them want to safe(r) sex with us. Is that really a problem?

x"
well said people can enjoy both safe sex and bareback. nothing wrong with it.but both partners involve have to agree to bareback or condoms should be worn

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

The Wild Wetness


"Back to the points a little :

1. Why is there not / can't be an option here to tick for bareback? This has been asked a few times in over the years we've been on here but we never saw (maybe we missed it) a reply from mods or site admins explaining the policy.

2. Why is it not reasonable that some people can enjoy both bareback AND safe sex, surely they are not mutually exclusive activities are they? We've enjoyed both many times. Are they being dishonest if they tick 'safe sex' when they enjoy both?

3. Should soft swingers tick 'safe sex'? They can't really honstly tick 'safe sex' as they don't do penetration except with their own partner and you can pretty much guarantee they only bareback with them.

4. Why oh why does everyone seem to believe putting bareback on your profile means less people will want to meet you?

We used to think that was the case just because everyone seems to suggest it is, without any proof that is the case. Eventually we decided to find out for ourselves.

We are being totally honest here - if you put bareback on your profile not only will you find people who share your enjoyment, from our experience you will also get more contacts too.

Interestingly a lot will be couples who tick safe sex. Some of them want to bareback with us, some of them want to safe(r) sex with us. Is that really a problem?

x"

I've no problem with any of this, I think the issue is that people tick boxes that are not applicable to them, rather than ticking a collection of boxes that do apply.

So a couple may tick both bareback and safe sex, or soft swing and full swing.

This is all fine as they may enjoy both but if they actually don't soft swing

or don't do safe sex, yet put in on their profile just to appeal, it wastes peoples time.

Same applies to soft swingers who add full swap etc.

In reality some people may compromise on a meet as they may have put some effort into meets and can be pressured by the situation. In terms of ourselves if we went to a meet where they said soft swinging or safe sex only to alter their opinion when they got there. Well it would be a waste of our time and theirs and just mean that we would have wasted one of our few oppertunities to play.

In such circumstances we would write a verification to mention this, however as verifications have to be approved by the owner there is no way to raise awareness to others.

Unless you where to write on your own profile about them.

In the end you can only do what is best for you and as in any situation buyer beware.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

only do bareback with someone who you trust or try a blood donor, they always have to be clean.

i think people get very paranoid with STD"s (thank you media) but still you have to be careful

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent


"Its each to there own here .. If thats what People like bareback thats fine just put it in Big letters in your profile loads love it here ....."

We never put anything in big capitals on our profile lol, If people can't be bothered to read it then we certainly ain't gonna resort to shouting lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sometime you need to have a good old shout

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent


"well said people can enjoy both safe sex and bareback. nothing wrong with it.but both partners involve have to agree to bareback or condoms should be worn"

Ahh now there are very few things we have come across while swinging that we do take issue with - but *that* is most definitely one of them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"only do bareback with someone who you trust or try a blood donor, they always have to be clean.

i think people get very paranoid with STD"s (thank you media) but still you have to be careful "

Blood Donor clean?

The blood transfusion service only checks for diseases carried in the blood, so you would not know if they had a STD not checked for.

HIV antibodies take up to 3 months to show in the blood, somebody could be exposed to hiv one day and give blood the next It would not show on the results from giving blood ( thankfully blood is treated). If you had unprotected sex with them you could get HIV even though they are "clean" blood donars.

So somebody showing you a blood donars card or a gum clinic report are showing you a snap shot of their sexual health that can be a week to 3 months out of date.

Bareback sex with strangers is playing russian roulette with your sexual health.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats the most sensible post I've heard on here!

Don't trust what someone GUM card says, trust your instinct and always I mean always wear a condom no matter what!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make sure they wear condoms so you don't give them something

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex


"Thats the most sensible post I've heard on here!

Don't trust what someone GUM card says, trust your instinct and always I mean always wear a condom no matter what!"

Here's a thought:

We are all advised to wear condoms "to prevent or reduce the transmission of STD's", in simple terms "if one person has something, then it makes it harder to pass on".

Note the word "IF". So my question:

Based purely on instinct, and if foresight were to be employed - who would REALLY play with another person "who had something" even if the person had condoms on them?

My point: I'm not in complete agreement with the instinct perspective, but leaning to common sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"who would REALLY play with another person "who had something" even if the person had condoms on them?"

Probably more than we know! I have no figures or statistics but if men pick up skanky whores on street corners, people get into relationships with people who are HIV positive, then it follows, to me anyway, that some people aren't that fussed!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"who would REALLY play with another person "who had something" even if the person had condoms on them?

Probably more than we know! I have no figures or statistics but if men pick up skanky whores on street corners, people get into relationships with people who are HIV positive, then it follows, to me anyway, that some people aren't that fussed! "

I know several people who are HIV+ through my professional work. Many of them have got into relationships since their diagnosis and presumably have sex. Not because people 'aren't that fussed' but because they want and choose to be in a relationship with that person and accept their HIV status as part of the deal and adjust their lifestyle practices accordingly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only do bareback and I'm not ashamed to either

It's bareback all the way with me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lets remember one thing about HIV, its not a STD.

Its a blood borne virus, sex is just one path to catch it. There are some poor people who have HIV and sex never came into the equation. It could be drug users sharing equipment etc.

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By *teph_NaturallyTV/TS
over a year ago

Kettering

Theirs one point everyones missed on this question of clicking the Safe Sex option ..and i think its the main reason ..they click it thinking it means Safe Anal Sex ..dont forget men with hard-ons dont read or write well and get confused easily

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" As for pregnancy.. come on, really? Anyone that get's pregnant through swinging would have to do so deliberately. Oops I forgot to take my pill, and oh no, the condom broke.. and I can't get to the chemist for the morning after pill.. and blimey, just happens to be at my most fertile time too. How unlucky can one person be?

"

Serious no.. it can happen.. and it does not need to be planned... I do know of at least one person this happened too during a group sex play time.. it was not planned and it was totally accidental, but no she wasnt using condoms, but that is their choice.

I do think that there should be an option that allows people to know that you will do bareback. We come across loads of profiles that do.. yet they have safe sex ticked..

When I talk to them, they tell me its ladies choice. It certainly wouldnt stop me playing with someone because they had barebacked ticked. It would then be my choice if I was safe or not..

Katie. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bare-backing is everyone's choice, yes its more erotic and not just visually. I am sure we know the risks not just the obvious, but other STDs that can effect your health long term. However we are all adults, and although it seems that new cases of STDs/HIV are going up in the over 50s..Does it suggest we are are getting complacent as we get older.(Just a QUESTION not Statement)

If you do practice safe sex does it makes sense to bring your own condoms, as you know about the expiry date, also then you know they have not been tampered with..If you know the guy or girl you are fucking then its not so bad, but if its a one off ,and you may never see him again..then i would ensure the condoms i brought with me were the ones used.... ...praranoid perhaps but because they have a big cock, and sexy smile you dont know whats going on in their head...

Its all about risk, we would never walk into the road without looking assuming the bus driver would see us. So the moral of this?...well you decide your an adult

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only do bareback and I'm not ashamed to either

It's bareback all the way with me"

and they are not with us anymore...I wonder whats come up?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it should be a selectable option. it would save people having "safe sex" on their profile while having a pic of a bare penis up in them having to explain it! I play safe but if someone wants to play bareback, thats's their business.

we are all adults here, right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doing bareback is like playing Russian roulette, I think in this day and age is bloody thoughtless

wear a condom always and that goes for anal sex too I have come across in the past peeps that practice safe sex but no anal sex. What's all that about? Or is it because you can't get pregnant through anal they decide not to wear a condom xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never heard of anyone committing suicide by bareback sex

What STD is it that blows your brains out?

Never understood the Russian roulette argument, I’m sure there’s many back in the day who were forced into holding a gun to their head would have went for the bareback sex option if they were given the choice

That was all said tongue and cheek, but when you read the forums, and read most threads posted here on a daily basis, and read things like “I love rimming” and “I Don’t mind going down on a lady on her period” and suck like, you get the impression that all that’s required to be an advocate of safe sex on here is putting a condom on for actual penetration and nothing else

I could go on to say that I think anyone who bare backs is stupid or silly but since I don’t use condoms myself for oral that would just make me a hypocrite.

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