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Has 50 shades changed swinging?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I've been swinging on and off since I was 23 so around 9 yrs now. I must admit it has changed a lot. More and more people are getting involved and coming onto fab or trying a swinging club.

I blame 50 shades, poorly written erotica which though has opened some peoples minds to a new world I feel it has opened the flood gates for way more time wasters and fantasies. Personally I find this to be a shame!

I'm sure a number of people will feel I'm moaning about fab and in a way I am. I just find it a shame that what I found great about swinging, the sex and like minded interaction seems to be drifting away.

Anyone else?

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

No

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"No"

Ok short and sweet. Wanna go into any detail lol

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By *ivinefoxWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

I agree to a certain extent. I've been going to fetish/swinging clubs since 2002 and it's definitely become more mainstream. 50 Shades has popularised BDSM but sadly not in a good way and the books are appalling. If it has opened people's minds to it then that's good but a lot of people, especially male Doms don't really know what they're doing IMO. It's not about abuse or a power trip and it takes time to build up trust in a D/s relationship.

When I see men with a Christian Grey type username I know to avoid them like the plague..!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes that and all the made up crap programs chanel 4 and 5 have made about swinging has brought a load of wannabes out of the wood work !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I agree to a certain extent. I've been going to fetish/swinging clubs since 2002 and it's definitely become more mainstream. 50 Shades has popularised BDSM but sadly not in a good way and the books are appalling. If it has opened people's minds to it then that's good but a lot of people, especially male Doms don't really know what they're doing IMO. It's not about abuse or a power trip and it takes time to build up trust in a D/s relationship.

When I see men with a Christian Grey type username I know to avoid them like the plague..!"

Unfortunately there are many ladies who are attracted to the 'Mr Greys' but have no idea what it is really like. Some ARE getting hurt. BDSM is a fantastic trip but done properly.

We have been swinging for over ten years and although my wife has decided to take a break for now, we both see the swinging scene has changed. Better or worse? for us the worse.

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I made this mistake with a guy thought he was gods gift but actually he was a very sad man praying on women and didn't have a fucking clue about anything!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I made this mistake with a guy thought he was gods gift but actually he was a very sad man praying on women and didn't have a fucking clue about anything!"

I personally know of two that have been on here (accounts gone for now but I am sure they will be back), who have literally assaulted ladies. One needed A&E!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Undoubtedly, a few years ago the 'News of the world' uncovered the steamy pastime of swinging to the unititiated. At the time I was runing dating websites and a lot of people where trying out swinging with no idea of the lifestyle rather than the mechanics. I launched a succesful swingers site of a similar name to the exposed site (which I will not mention but you all know it SH!) But ultimately most where just single guys looking at pics. I think the same happens now, too many dreamers and idiots, remember Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and how many turtles where bought as pets. Hopefull last nights Trans prog on ch4 (part of series on Monday nights) will do the same for trannies!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you! This is point. It's great that it is taking the scene more main steam but if we're not careful it is going to be full of arsehole wannabe Mr Greys and a ton of messed up women who think abuse is BDSM.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I made this mistake with a guy thought he was gods gift but actually he was a very sad man praying on women and didn't have a fucking clue about anything!"

Firstly can I say sorry on began of that deportable person. I honestly didn't know it would promote such a bad experience for you though this is what can happen, people both men and women going into a scene which should be and is great fun only to have it ruined by a truly horrid experience

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you for your input. I think a clearer understanding is needed. I worked in SE Asia for a number of years and the trans world is so open that it is common place. Shame we don't have it like that here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I made this mistake with a guy thought he was gods gift but actually he was a very sad man praying on women and didn't have a fucking clue about anything!

I personally know of two that have been on here (accounts gone for now but I am sure they will be back), who have literally assaulted ladies. One needed A&E! "

I met another guy (stupidly) who wanted to be my Dom and what little I knew (I wasn't thinking straight at this point of my life!) he met me on the first meeting he hit me with his belt, made me bleed internally and smacked me around the face, as soon as I left (with no aftercare I might add) I decided there and then 'nope this isn't for me at all'

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By *ivinefoxWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

That's awful! I'm sorry you had such a nasty experience. I've always been really careful when trying to meet Doms as there are definitely some sadistic men out there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately not an isolated incident.

My wife likes a 'bit of light spanking' but anyone who has tried to 'dom her has ended up wearing his testicles around his neck!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

That's just a sadist! So wrong! Hope your ok and on the mend now!

Big hugs from Bolton

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I learnt a lot that night and it's taught me to be stronger x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I agree to a certain extent. I've been going to fetish/swinging clubs since 2002 and it's definitely become more mainstream. 50 Shades has popularised BDSM but sadly not in a good way and the books are appalling. If it has opened people's minds to it then that's good but a lot of people, especially male Doms don't really know what they're doing IMO. It's not about abuse or a power trip and it takes time to build up trust in a D/s relationship.

When I see men with a Christian Grey type username I know to avoid them like the plague..!"

I hope no one avoids me for this reason any kind of BDSM meet needs communication and trust

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm glad Geeky! Us Geeks have gotta have each other's back. I'm sure it's a more private conversation but it seems your outta that bad headspace you was in?

Thank you for sharing with everyone too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"..... a lot of people, especially male Doms don't really know what they're doing IMO. It's not about abuse or a power trip and it takes time to build up trust in a D/s relationship.

"

What, rather than the Dommes who on the basis of possessing a crop, a corset and a misandrist sneer walk around clubs like they own them?

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

What ever the reason that people get into the lifestyle, the fact that more people are interested and giving it a go must be a good thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What ever the reason that people get into the lifestyle, the fact that more people are interested and giving it a go must be a good thing. "

Perhaps that is the problem. Swinging and BDSM are very dif things. Yes a person can do both, but they are dif.

Has the term swinging become used for to wide a range of activities?

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By *otForSoftiesWoman
over a year ago

The North / Party Hard Everywhere

I've certainly seen more new couples watching generally at clubs, plus more voyeurs on BDSM night. Last HDZ did feel like a bit of a freak show, even down to people sat there eating food and chatting while they were watching. Quite off putting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No fetched too many wanna be's and men who think they are dom but have no idea what they are doing.

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By *otForSoftiesWoman
over a year ago

The North / Party Hard Everywhere


"No fetched too many wanna be's and men who think they are dom but have no idea what they are doing. "

Agree with this - many just think being Dom is being bossy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

50 Shades brought the wannabes out of the woodwork, plus the idiots who think that reading a bad book makes them into super Dom

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've certainly seen more new couples watching generally at clubs, plus more voyeurs on BDSM night. Last HDZ did feel like a bit of a freak show, even down to people sat there eating food and chatting while they were watching. Quite off putting "

Oh my word, I couldn't think of anything worse! How horrid! Litterly you was zoo animals. Disappointing

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Couldn't agree with you more which is a shame as the real BDSM scene isn't like that rubbish

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've certainly seen more new couples watching generally at clubs, plus more voyeurs on BDSM night. Last HDZ did feel like a bit of a freak show, even down to people sat there eating food and chatting while they were watching. Quite off putting

Oh my word, I couldn't think of anything worse! How horrid! Litterly you was zoo animals. Disappointing "

To confirm I wasn't saying anything negative, my intention was to agree with the post, people watching, talking and eating, it's like they are treating a BDSM club like a day at the zoo. Which is wrong!

Apologies if I wasn't clear earlier

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've noticed more and more BDSM/Kink type profiles in the past few years. Have'nt a problem with that....but is it still a swingers site?...Should it be re-branded as a "Sex " Site?...which will serve all tastes?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/10/15 17:23:00]

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By *otForSoftiesWoman
over a year ago

The North / Party Hard Everywhere


"

Apologies if I wasn't clear earlier "

Don't worry I read it as you intended

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By *ivinefoxWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

I think swinging does incorporate a lot more BDSM these days and some of the bigger clubs do. Have dungeons, e.g Cham's and Abfabs. There are lots of different types of fetish clubs and at some there's no actual sex allowed! Or just a couples room.

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