FabSwingers.com forum: Honest replies

By *ecretlyASoftie OP Woman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

Following on from how to tell guys they're no good thread, how about responding to messages - how honest are you or do you just delete and leave the guy no better off knowing he could do better?

One of my replies this morning was 'Nice pic but you're too far and a shit profile'. Too honest? Too brutal? Or very fair? (His profile text was 3 words

)

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By *omeo1stMan
over a year ago

Littlehampton

I think most guys are delighted just to get a reply ! An honest appraisal would be welcomed by most guys as it would give them something to work on. Saying that, some guys will fly off the handle as they can't cope with perceived criticism and rejection. You can't please all the people all the time huh !

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I am very honest but I don't go out of my way to be rude. There is just no need.

and you get back, what you give out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd prefer to say, and have in the past, that their profile is non existent and says nothing about them. Some have got shirty, most have asked how to improve it which I gladly advised. I always think the truth is preferable to bullshit but there is a way of saying it!!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We have a line in our profile that says "please assume no reply means a polite no thank you" or something along those lines. I don't think there's any need to give a reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will be honest but not brutally honest no need to be cruel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never reply if I don't wanna fuck. I get too many messages a day to bother myself with letting people down gently.

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By *ittle Pocket PerveWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"I am very honest but I don't go out of my way to be rude. There is just no need.

and you get back, what you give out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm in ignore mode right now as I'm getting tired of telling people that my active life outside Fab doesn't allow me to drop everything for a meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Following on from how to tell guys they're no good thread, how about responding to messages - how honest are you or do you just delete and leave the guy no better off knowing he could do better?

One of my replies this morning was 'Nice pic but you're too far and a shit profile'. Too honest? Too brutal? Or very fair? (His profile text was 3 words

How would you feel if someone said the same to you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite honest. The only real issue comes when you have swapped photos, maybe talked on the phone then something is said that makes you decide not to meet. Or worse you get there and you don't click x

In messages we are honest but will find a truth that isn't harsh x

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I normally just ignore, but the English language has many means to be used without being to brutal as you put it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We much prefer honesty, leaves no room for misinterpretation or false hopes for either party.

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By *layfulserfMan
over a year ago

Northolt

Thats actually good advice.

The too far reason is valid and not cruel or demotivational.

The "shit profile" is something that can be changed and probably should be if its a contributing factor in not getting a meet

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By *km45Man
over a year ago

UTTOXETER

"Following on from how to tell guys they're no good thread, how about responding to messages - how honest are you or do you just delete and leave the guy no better off knowing he could do better?

One of my replies this morning was 'Nice pic but you're too far and a shit profile'. Too honest? Too brutal? Or very fair? (His profile text was 3 words

Bit brutal but giving advice on his profile was good. Also nice to hear a woman replying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thats actually good advice.

The too far reason is valid and not cruel or demotivational.

The "shit profile" is something that can be changed and probably should be if its a contributing factor in not getting a meet"

There is a more polite way of saying this though surely? If I didn't find someone sexually attractive then I'd just politely say not for me not say god no, you're bloody ugly!!

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I am very honest but I don't go out of my way to be rude. There is just no need.

and you get back, what you give out

Honesty requires compassion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm honest some may say brutal!

'Too short'

'Too old'

'Too fat'

I get to the point. When I say 'not my type' they always ask lots of questions.

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By *ecretlyASoftie OP Woman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

"Following on from how to tell guys they're no good thread, how about responding to messages - how honest are you or do you just delete and leave the guy no better off knowing he could do better?

One of my replies this morning was 'Nice pic but you're too far and a shit profile'. Too honest? Too brutal? Or very fair? (His profile text was 3 words

)

How would you feel if someone said the same to you?"

If I had 3 words on my profile I'd think the response was fair and a good point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Following on from how to tell guys they're no good thread, how about responding to messages - how honest are you or do you just delete and leave the guy no better off knowing he could do better?

One of my replies this morning was 'Nice pic but you're too far and a shit profile'. Too honest? Too brutal? Or very fair? (His profile text was 3 words

)

How would you feel if someone said the same to you?

If I had 3 words on my profile I'd think the response was fair and a good point

Fair enough.

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By *ecretlyASoftie OP Woman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

"I'm honest some may say brutal!

'Too short'

'Too old'

'Too fat'

I get to the point. When I say 'not my type' they always ask lots of questions."

I'd never insult the person but happy to do so with a zero effort profile

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By *layfulserfMan
over a year ago

Northolt

The original poster said "nice pic", "Too Far" and "shit profile" cos it was just three words.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've told some men who message me with just a cock pic & a "fancy a fuck" message that they will just get blocked by most.

I try & give them advice on different pics & to put more in their profile.

They're usually very grateful and do actually listen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Their is no substitute for treating someone the way you like to be treated yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm honest some may say brutal!

'Too short'

'Too old'

'Too fat'

I get to the point. When I say 'not my type' they always ask lots of questions.

I'd never insult the person but happy to do so with a zero effort profile"

As my requirements were clearly written on my profile it annoys me when those who don't meet them message me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm honest some may say brutal!

'Too short'

'Too old'

'Too fat'

I get to the point. When I say 'not my type' they always ask lots of questions.

I'd never insult the person but happy to do so with a zero effort profile

As my requirements were clearly written on my profile it annoys me when those who don't meet them message me! "

I can empathise with that

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

"I'm in ignore mode right now as I'm getting tired of telling people that my active life outside Fab doesn't allow me to drop everything for a meet "

My profile says the same - can't meet at the drop of a hat! . How dare we have a personal life outside of Fab! Seems like others just live their lives on here.

Don't despair just makes our Fab meets more fun when we have them.

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By *estmidscoupleCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands

I confess I've rather ripped someone to shreds this afternoon, sent a polite ish no 3 or 4 days ago, and today's one-liner about wanting to do stuff in K's mouth was a message too far so I've vented a bit (LOL)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer an honest reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yeah honest replies are always the way to go but that doesn't mean you gotta take that chance to hurt others for the sole purpose of satisfying your own ego..if you cant say anything nice or positive..shut the fuck up and decline nicely like a decent intelligent homosapien

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say no thank you and don't give a reason why,unless I'm in the mood for question time. Then I will tell them why in a diplomatic way if needs be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hardly ever get a message, when I do I reply in keeping with the message. No thought goes into message, no thought goes into reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's a first message and I'm not interested, I generally don't reply. If I've been messaging someone and then decide I'm not then I would give a reason without being brutal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We treat all as we like to be treated with respect and manners cannot go wrong surely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're honest...We tell people they're not for us. No reasons given...no further dialogue. You can be honest without being brutal

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

You can be honest without sounding like a complete cow, just being honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honesty is the best policy

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By *ighting17thMan
over a year ago

Bodmin

I have had a lot of replies from women who are happy to give advice about my profile etc. I have tried to get it right but not sure I've actually 'got there' yet?

When I reply to a message with a 'no' I am always very polite, absolutely clean ( language ) and always state why in the nicest possible way?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer the honest replies, especially the constructive ones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we get a lot of ''face pics?'' as a message - we reply nicely - yes we have face pics and more for friends and if you have the same we will send an invite - that is so often the last message as they never reply - wish folk could just be straight up and say they not got any

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally, I see no point in giving a reason as to why you're not interested. If you're not interested then leave it at that. I just say thanks, not for me take care then block so there's no comeback/abuse. Its nothing personal but if I have no interest in meeting someone it filters them out my searches and often they message weeks/months later either trying to change your mind or forgetting they've messaged before anyway.

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