FabSwingers.com forum: How do you deal with Guys that are just not good

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

recently I have actually become that despondent with the abilities of single guys that I am not in the slightest bit interested.. (Coming from a GG this is worrying)

However its come from the fact that over the last few months. Guys in general just seem to be lacking even in the basic sexual skills..

Now okay.. I can be hard to please.. But, I am talking about guys that are that shocking that I actually get put off playing again for the rest of the evening.

Guys that pinch nipples, or try to kiss you like they want to choke you with their tongue... Or suck on your clit while ramming fingers as hard and fast as they can. Or just fingers.. and then sex.. Well I admit there are not many men that can make me go wow... but a bit of effort would be nice.

I normally try to direct, or encourage but have found more often than not this dents the guys ego and makes a bad situation even worse... what is worse is if this is happening in a 4way I then start to wiggle my way into what Mr Deviant and the other lady are doing.

I mean okay... I will shy away from intimacy with a guy in general but I will kiss a bit before getting down to it..

So how do you deal with it.. Do you openly tell them that they are crap, or hurting you... ( I find it harder to do this if its a couple as I dont want to offend people in general and worse two people)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had similar earlier this year. Especially with 4somes as you're pretty much stuck there while your other half is having fun.

I have no answers sorry. It's no longer a problem for me as I only meet on my own now. If I'm not having fun I can move.. or leave. x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I had similar earlier this year. Especially with 4somes as you're pretty much stuck there while your other half is having fun.

I have no answers sorry. It's no longer a problem for me as I only meet on my own now. If I'm not having fun I can move.. or leave. x"

Well it has got to the stage where I PREFER FFM....

What is this world coming to... lol

Well unless I can have a mff while loads of nice guys unload over me and the other lady at the end of our session with Mr Deviant and then we can share his too... lol

But really... I have spoken to a few lady friends and it doesnt seem to be just me.

So do you just keep going till you find people that are capable.. as even reading verification's doesn't help as one persons amazing is another persons Crap.

I love to see Mr have a good time but thats not all I am in this for. x

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

If I wasn't doing what the lady wanted, I'd hope she would tell me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just tell them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear of your experiences op. Especially if you are a gg. Worrying times.

I would imagine it has something to do with how these particular guys see nsa sex.

Or perhaps they are just out for themselves? Trying to quickly gratify you, so they imagine, before gratifying themselves.

Is it age specific?

New to the lifestyle?

Obviously they are getting the dynamics wrong.

As to what you can do? If it's not working for you, tell them and tell them why.

After all it should be fun for all. And it doesn't sound as if you are having yours;

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Subtle direction

and if that doesn't work, tell 'em

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's mainly because they have watched a lot of main stream porn !

And don't really have a lot of experience other than copying what they see in the porn movie.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

At least they're going down on you. The only oral sex I've received in the last two months was from a guy I basically had to beg.

I think guys are watching too much porn. I know they get annoyed when I'm not having a screaming orgasm within 2 minutes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to guide them or tell them thankfully most of the men I've met have been amazing

and its gets better each time after

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I tend to guide them or tell them thankfully most of the men I've met have been amazing

and its gets better each time after "

I know the fact I hate repeat meets wont be going in my favour..

and I am trying to direct.. See I know that I will not be the best at everything but I always like to if its a couple watch the guy with his partner and see how they pleasure each other.. and then it gives me an idea.. and I am happy to ask what they like..

however if I tell a guy even nicely to do something a bit different they seem to take offence.

It isnt age specific ( although I avoid young guys as a general rule and those over 50) some of them are new, ( in fact one of my best experiences was with a terrified newbie.) the rest are experienced.

We do have some great meets too ( tend to only verify the ones that were okay) but it is getting where I am already deciding its going to be a disappointment before the act.. and planning to ravish mr after.

I will orgasm while watching Mr be passionate with another woman so it isnt all bad...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Clearly you're meeting the wrong guys!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

to be honest...there are some women who are as equally shity...glad I've not met that many lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/09/15 17:41:53]

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I think it's mainly because they have watched a lot of main stream porn !

And don't really have a lot of experience other than copying what they see in the porn movie."

This!

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By *iss_Samantha_LovecockTV/TS
over a year ago

bmth /poole sometimes blandford

communicate .diverent people like different things and lots of guys watch too much porn.just tell them there doing it wrong .i always do cos they often do

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"to be honest...there are some women who are as equally shity...glad I've not met that many lol"

Dont even get me started on the women that think they can play with other women..

I admit I am crap with other women...although I am careful not to hurt them but I know I cant make them orgasm..... and as I said. I will always be aware that what I do while I enjoy it may not be for every guy... So I always ask or observe.. but from the state Mr Deviant has come back from a tangle with some women.. I am well aware that not all women are good too.. and certainly do not think I am some sex goddess..

If it was just no orgasm it wouldnt bother me.. but I am talking about actually feeling the need to stop or physically hurt

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"communicate .diverent people like different things and lots of guys watch too much porn.just tell them there doing it wrong .i always do cos they often do "

but how do you tell them and get them not to take offence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had similar earlier this year. Especially with 4somes as you're pretty much stuck there while your other half is having fun.

I have no answers sorry. It's no longer a problem for me as I only meet on my own now. If I'm not having fun I can move.. or leave. x

Well it has got to the stage where I PREFER FFM....

What is this world coming to... lol

Well unless I can have a mff while loads of nice guys unload over me and the other lady at the end of our session with Mr Deviant and then we can share his too... lol

But really... I have spoken to a few lady friends and it doesnt seem to be just me.

So do you just keep going till you find people that are capable.. as even reading verification's doesn't help as one persons amazing is another persons Crap.

I love to see Mr have a good time but thats not all I am in this for. x"

Bloody hell FFM!!

I'm shocked.

Could it be your perception? I know if my heart isn't in it then it's crap. I was expecting it to be crap and it was.

Maybe try a totally different approach. The opposite of what you do now. If it works then great. If it doesn't work no harm done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"to be honest...there are some women who are as equally shity...glad I've not met that many lol

Dont even get me started on the women that think they can play with other women..

If it was just no orgasm it wouldnt bother me.. but I am talking about actually feeling the need to stop or physically hurt"

ahh ok...well here is another angle..

I have met quite a few that like it rough..fingers,fists etc etc..

I suppose its all about adapting to a different partner..I'm not a fan of slow sensual wanks from a woman..I like it hardcore fast...but thats got nothing to do with porn,like many things such as shaven fannies being consistently linked to porn..its just not the case in my interest..I just love seeing/licking a pussy without much hair to ruin my feel for it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I had similar earlier this year. Especially with 4somes as you're pretty much stuck there while your other half is having fun.

I have no answers sorry. It's no longer a problem for me as I only meet on my own now. If I'm not having fun I can move.. or leave. x

Well it has got to the stage where I PREFER FFM....

What is this world coming to... lol

Well unless I can have a mff while loads of nice guys unload over me and the other lady at the end of our session with Mr Deviant and then we can share his too... lol

But really... I have spoken to a few lady friends and it doesnt seem to be just me.

So do you just keep going till you find people that are capable.. as even reading verification's doesn't help as one persons amazing is another persons Crap.

I love to see Mr have a good time but thats not all I am in this for. x

Bloody hell FFM!!

I'm shocked.

Could it be your perception? I know if my heart isn't in it then it's crap. I was expecting it to be crap and it was.

Maybe try a totally different approach. The opposite of what you do now. If it works then great. If it doesn't work no harm done. "

I do think on occassion that it is my mind is already thinking I am on the back hand.. I am spoiled with a partner that does it for me ( and most other women we meet and I enjoy that)

But to be honest lately its been the physical inadequacies that have been doing it.. talking guys just pinching nipples while your sucking their cocks ( yes I will stop them but it puts me off big style and actually can make me off for the rest of the night)

Bad oral as long as its not painful I will endure if they dont take my hints, but its the fingering that is really the done side and the fact for all these posts on guys not wanting to just get straight to it that thats exactly what they do.

Yes okay I am happy if the kissing is only a brief affair and that they dont try to be intimate but they I was enjoying plenty of good fun with no kissing till recently...

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By *orders2forUCouple
over a year ago

Hawick

I agree with the porn idea, so it might be a plan to just say sorry this is life not porn and if you do....xyz it would work much better for both of us.

Sorry but "gg"? Greedy girl?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

but how do you tell them and get them not to take offence. "

Difficult, I know. I met a female who gave me the most painful bj. Think she was trying to deep throat. Not sure what she did, but felt like I was being skinned. And she wasn't using her teeth. But I didn't say anything. Just never seen her again.

It is not wanting to upset! But I guess you will have to upset to get what you want. Or change your meet criteria.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I agree with the porn idea, so it might be a plan to just say sorry this is life not porn and if you do....xyz it would work much better for both of us.

Sorry but "gg"? Greedy girl?

L2"

Thing is there is a lot that I see in porn that I personally like and did long before I saw it in porn..

and yes GG equals Greedy girl.. So I am no delicate wall flower that needs gentle treatment.. Which is why I am getting quite frankly frustrated with this..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"recently I have actually become that despondent with the abilities of single guys that I am not in the slightest bit interested.. (Coming from a GG this is worrying)

However its come from the fact that over the last few months. Guys in general just seem to be lacking even in the basic sexual skills..

Now okay.. I can be hard to please.. But, I am talking about guys that are that shocking that I actually get put off playing again for the rest of the evening.

I mean okay... I will shy away from intimacy with a guy in general but I will kiss a bit before getting down to it..

Send them a link to the online version of sex for dummies, they might thank you for it.

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By *hucky99Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Same applies to some women

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree with the porn idea, so it might be a plan to just say sorry this is life not porn and if you do....xyz it would work much better for both of us.

Sorry but "gg"? Greedy girl?

Thing is there is a lot that I see in porn that I personally like and did long before I saw it in porn..

and yes GG equals Greedy girl.. So I am no delicate wall flower that needs gentle treatment.. Which is why I am getting quite frankly frustrated with this.. "

One of your posts from many moons ago on gangbangs has been bumped in Swinging Support and Advice. You talked with such passion about it.

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By *km45Man
over a year ago

UTTOXETER

If I was doing something not quite right I would hope that she would guide me. I don't wish to let her down. May I add that I have been with a couple of awful women

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be open and clear before the meet. Tell them what you like and dislike as different women like different things. Some like rough sex and others sensual. Sounds like you need to vet them more? I still think there are a few good guys out there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"to be honest...there are some women who are as equally shity...glad I've not met that many lol

Dont even get me started on the women that think they can play with other women..

If it was just no orgasm it wouldnt bother me.. but I am talking about actually feeling the need to stop or physically hurt

ahh ok...well here is another angle..

I have met quite a few that like it rough..fingers,fists etc etc..

The porn excuse is a lazy cop out, yes there is ramming porn but there is equal amounts where there is no ramming.

I echo the comments above, there are women who like to be touched slowly and there are women who like it hard and fast. Unless directed by the woman, l suspect most men will fall into their default mode.

Also it is your own body, if you do not like what is happening, either direct the guy how you like it or tell him to stop. He is not a mind reader. If he does not like direction then a person who cannot take sexual direction from the person they are playing with then they should not be playing with peope. I use gender neutral language as I have received bite marks, scratches and skin burns in sensitive areas from women. In the last party l was at, a lady was twisting my nipple in a painful manner trying to dom me. I had to tell her to stop as I am not anyone's sub. It did not stop her trying a second time so l walked off. She was naked at the time so there was a temptation to stay but at the end of the day if people dont play nice when asked I am off. I thought that was the general rule.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell them to stop what's not doing it for you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I agree with the porn idea, so it might be a plan to just say sorry this is life not porn and if you do....xyz it would work much better for both of us.

Sorry but "gg"? Greedy girl?

Thing is there is a lot that I see in porn that I personally like and did long before I saw it in porn..

and yes GG equals Greedy girl.. So I am no delicate wall flower that needs gentle treatment.. Which is why I am getting quite frankly frustrated with this..

One of your posts from many moons ago on gangbangs has been bumped in Swinging Support and Advice. You talked with such passion about it.

To be honest I find normally gang bangs the guys are capable in a group and its mostly suck and fuck. So I had nothing to complain about.

To be fair I never used to allow guys to play with me, or go down on me so it was never something that came up.

But that was part of an issue I had and worked through it... Now I enjoy a more varied experience.

I do try to subtlety direct and guide.. maybe I just have to be more direct

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Be open and clear before the meet. Tell them what you like and dislike as different women like different things. Some like rough sex and others sensual. Sounds like you need to vet them more? I still think there are a few good guys out there."

Been doing this for 16 years. Only had the issue for the last few months

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We can't all be amazing at sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"to be honest...there are some women who are as equally shity...glad I've not met that many lol"

Yes it's easy to bash the men, but there are just as many ladies that are rubbish.

Pressure and in experience is i think behind some.

But men assume they should act a certain way (because of porn or what 'mates have 'bragged'), and some ladies just assume that they don't need to do anything.

It's shame because to me at least it's a two way thing. You get out what you put in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I gave up meeting single men as they sex was often crap. I've tapped out in the middle of things before as I was bored. I have to say, I've been with women who were the same. The trouble is, no matter how much you chat, you just can't tell until you get down to it. I don't like to talk too much beforehand as I like to discover as we go, so it could be as much about the way I go about things as them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We can't all be amazing at sex

Don't need amazing just not incapable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Isn't this the downfall of only meeting a guy once, there isn't time to learn what does it for each other?

Hence why in looking for two or three regular guys who want to explore and not just a shag as often is the case on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the talk in the world won't tell you how someone will be in person. You can tell someone not to jam away with fingers and be gentle with the tongue but until you actually meet you won't know how they kiss or touch a man. I've lucky to have found some very capable,sensual men on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd rather be bluntly told. I want the lady to enjoy herself not just go through the motions.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Isn't this the downfall of only meeting a guy once, there isn't time to learn what does it for each other?

Hence why in looking for two or three regular guys who want to explore and not just a shag as often is the case on here "

But I have never done that and never had the issue till recently. And yes it would take time to learn what made me tick but I'd not let a guy do that... I'm talking guys and in some cases ladies that just seem to do things in such a way I can't imagine anyone enjoying them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear about your bad experiences.

I've not had too many sexual partners but those that I have had have all been different.

When I mean different, I'm merely refering to sexual likes and dislikes, so it's important to be vocal and tell the individual what they are doing wrong.

We are all grown up, we've got balls (excuse the pun), so men should be able to accept criticism without getting upset.

Where's the fun in a sexual meet if its just one way traffic from a poor performer

Be honest and speak up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It could be that every other woman they have met has loved what they do.

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

"We can't all be amazing at sex

Don't need amazing just not incapable "

I know exactly where you're coming from OP. I don't mind saying to someone I prefer it X y or z but if it's obvious they need anatomy and very basic lessons I don't bother, I'm not here to teach. The sheer lack of knowledge of female sexuality and basic anatomy from some blokes has shocked me on occasion.

One bloke was told 3 times not to just twist my nipple, in the end I got hold of his and twisted it tighter and tighter asking if he was enjoying it, found it erotic, turned him on...I think next time he'll listen the first time

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"Isn't this the downfall of only meeting a guy once, there isn't time to learn what does it for each other?

Hence why in looking for two or three regular guys who want to explore and not just a shag as often is the case on here "

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

from my experience men are becoming exceptionally more selfish in the bedroom department and hardly any seem to know fuck all about the sensual side of sex anymore, that type of lover does nothing for me, they just seem to wanna go straight into fucking you to within an inch of your life, I'm not opposed to that happening, once I'm turned on enough and even then I don't want it on every meet.

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

Well...as am ambassador for the unselfish men on this site, I selflessly offer myself to any lady who needs her faith in single guys rekindling.

I am selfless to a fault

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

In answer to the second part I have no trouble telling them I get very few verifications from meets as I've told them as they leave I don't want to see them again as I didn't enjoy the experience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

LOL how is a woman meant to "vet" a guy before having sex with him? What his ex enjoyed, doesn't mean the next woman will. Men need to realise yes all of us women have the same buttons, but that doesn't mean we like them pressed in the same way. Our pussy isn't a cave for you all to shove your fingers or fist into in order to explore! Not every woman likes being fingered either. OP tell them or just don't bother seeing them again. Plenty more guys out there for your pretty self.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In answer to the second part I have no trouble telling them I get very few verifications from meets as I've told them as they leave I don't want to see them again as I didn't enjoy the experience "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi OP,

I don't really have any advice for you, because I too haven't found that magic formula.

But I did want to thank you and the fellow forumites for posting on this subject.

A few years ago, I got so utterly fed up with males from couples being crap and spending meets with my fella just sitting there watching him have a whale of a time that I stopped swinging for 2 years.

Now I'm back and trying very hard not to let the old problems put me off again.

We've changed how we play slightly, so that I don't have to solely rely on the 4 way couples meets.

But it's good to know I'm not alone having this problem. I get that the fellas have problems with crap blow jobs from women too.

It's disappointing to hear that even trying to go for experienced swingers doesn't guarantee a good time, as this was going to be my new strategy.

But it does help to know I'm not alone with this, as sometimes I feel the otherhalf doesn't get why I'm so frustrated with joint meets!!

Thanks for everyone's posts xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to hear about your bad experiences.

I've not had too many sexual partners but those that I have had have all been different.

When I mean different, I'm merely refering to sexual likes and dislikes, so it's important to be vocal and tell the individual what they are doing wrong.

We are all grown up, we've got balls (excuse the pun), so men should be able to accept criticism without getting upset.

Where's the fun in a sexual meet if its just one way traffic from a poor performer

Be honest and speak up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends how well you get on with them sexually, some lay like logs lol. I just see them once if they are not good, although still good enough to tick of the old bed post

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I would say something like " I really like it if you do this"

And explain or show them what you want, or say " that's starting to feel good could you do it softer for me or harder for me" or however you want...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It depends how well you get on with them sexually, some lay like logs lol. I just see them once if they are not good, although still good enough to tick of the old bed post

My ex used to say I was a plank in bed. He would never kiss me,I wasn't allowed to look at him when I was giving him a bj and he was as passionate as an eskimo in a snowstorm. Takes two to Tango

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"from my experience men are becoming exceptionally more selfish in the bedroom department and hardly any seem to know fuck all about the sensual side of sex anymore, that type of lover does nothing for me, they just seem to wanna go straight into fucking you to within an inch of your life, I'm not opposed to that happening, once I'm turned on enough and even then I don't want it on every meet. "

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/womens-blog/2015/sep/24/women-sexual-pleasure-porn-sex?CMP=share_btn_tw

Sexual empowerment and feminism remain closely linked in a world in which women are expected to perform sexually but not necessarily to make their own demands.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It depends how well you get on with them sexually, some lay like logs lol. I just see them once if they are not good, although still good enough to tick of the old bed post

My ex used to say I was a plank in bed. He would never kiss me,I wasn't allowed to look at him when I was giving him a bj and he was as passionate as an eskimo in a snowstorm. Takes two to Tango

LOL sounds like my ex! But he never called me a plank. Just a bitch lol. He wouldn't come near me in public. Say holding hands and kissing (even on the cheek) etc can wait till we're home. Sex was roll on then roll off after he was done. I even told him I'm going to use a Sex toy to finish myself off because he obviously couldn't. He didn't even care! Lol. He's from Surrey though so doubt it's the same guy lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would say something like " I really like it if you do this"

And explain or show them what you want, or say " that's starting to feel good could you do it softer for me or harder for me" or however you want..."

Females are complicated: what they want and respond to changes by the minute, and every female body is different.

A bit of communication before and during really helps. Certainly better finding out a week later that she thought you were shit despite your best efforts. Even worse if you find out on the forums

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'd swap you that for what I'm experiencing. I did wonder if it was me till a few of my friends had met the same people and we were talking like girls do. Don't get me wrong I think that partly to blame is the fact that as a species we do not like to offend And will say we had a great time even though you May not have.

But "mate you have as much sexual talent as the back end of a bus" May not go down well.

I love playing as a couple and its not always a disaster but I have had two tears in the past 3 months from guys that think that just because their Ms is gushing everywhere that the answer is to try to play with me harder. I do tell people before that they are unlikely to make me.

Some good posts though so thank you

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By *eliciousladyWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

Feel silly asking, but what does GG mean?

Totally understand what you mean. Met with a guy who kissed so hard, fingered me like he was digging for gold and kept asking if I was enjoying! Noooo I said, you're much too hard. To which he replied 'ohh nobody else has ever said that'

Hmmm perhaps it was me?

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

What I'm about to say maybe not be what anyone wants to here and will most likely make me no friends but what the hell so here goes .

A lot of guys on sex sites are there for their own pleasure to satisfy their own lust. the pleasure of the women they meet is a after thought.

so they will do the bare minimum when it comes to foreplay the woman's orgasm is off no real concern to such guys as they are there for their own orgasm and pleasure .

I quick read through this post proves this in be true .

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"What I'm about to say maybe not be what anyone wants to here and will most likely make me no friends but what the hell so here goes .

A lot of guys on sex sites are there for their own pleasure to satisfy their own lust. the pleasure of the women they meet is a after thought.

so they will do the bare minimum when it comes to foreplay the woman's orgasm is off no real concern to such guys as they are there for their own orgasm and pleasure .

I quick read through this post proves this in be true .

We know, we were just hoping for better.

To be fair, there are a helluva lot of guys out there who are pretty good, but lately I've felt like I'm being handled like a piece of meat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I'm about to say maybe not be what anyone wants to here and will most likely make me no friends but what the hell so here goes .

A lot of guys on sex sites are there for their own pleasure to satisfy their own lust. the pleasure of the women they meet is a after thought.

so they will do the bare minimum when it comes to foreplay the woman's orgasm is off no real concern to such guys as they are there for their own orgasm and pleasure .

I quick read through this post proves this in be true .

Always what I suspected and thank you for actually saying it out loud (well so to speak).

I believe I encountered this from a meet on here and as such I never met him again. Such a shame because take away the selfish sex, he was actually a nice guy. Even cooked me dinner! However I'm here for a special friend...not to date.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

We know, we were just hoping for better.

To be fair, there are a helluva lot of guys out there who are pretty good, but lately I've felt like I'm being handled like a piece of meat."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What I'm about to say maybe not be what anyone wants to here and will most likely make me no friends but what the hell so here goes .

A lot of guys on sex sites are there for their own pleasure to satisfy their own lust. the pleasure of the women they meet is a after thought.

so they will do the bare minimum when it comes to foreplay the woman's orgasm is off no real concern to such guys as they are there for their own orgasm and pleasure .

I quick read through this post proves this in be true .

I do not orgasm with 99% of the meets we have... If I was bothered about having an orgasm I would only play with my partner. I do this for experiences and fun and because I enjoy giving pleasure .

I know that for many men just emptying their balls is all they want and on the whole that doesn't bother me. Except when they try to do something they are enept at.

It's when they do things like pinch someone's nipple as the first thing they do. Or put fingers straight in hard.

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"Feel silly asking, but what does GG mean?

Hmmm perhaps it was me? "

No it was not you .

the kind of sex I like is totally depended on the woman telling me exactly how she likes things done

Then it is my job to deliver with a small twist of my own with in her parameters the sexual experience we have discussed .

If a women said to me slower or harder i'd do it and further more i'd learn her preferences and then try to blow her mind for the simple reason in blowing her mind I will get a great lay

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

"What I'm about to say maybe not be what anyone wants to here and will most likely make me no friends but what the hell so here goes .

A lot of guys on sex sites are there for their own pleasure to satisfy their own lust. the pleasure of the women they meet is a after thought.

so they will do the bare minimum when it comes to foreplay the woman's orgasm is off no real concern to such guys as they are there for their own orgasm and pleasure .

I quick read through this post proves this in be true .

We know, we were just hoping for better.

To be fair, there are a helluva lot of guys out there who are pretty good, but lately I've felt like I'm being handled like a piece of meat."

to both

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"recently I have actually become that despondent with the abilities of single guys that I am not in the slightest bit interested.. (Coming from a GG this is worrying)

However its come from the fact that over the last few months. Guys in general just seem to be lacking even in the basic sexual skills..

Now okay.. I can be hard to please.. But, I am talking about guys that are that shocking that I actually get put off playing again for the rest of the evening.

I mean okay... I will shy away from intimacy with a guy in general but I will kiss a bit before getting down to it..

If I didn't enjoy/like something I would tell them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Feel silly asking, but what does GG mean?

Hmmm perhaps it was me?

No it was not you .

the kind of sex I like is totally depended on the woman telling me exactly how she likes things done

Then it is my job to deliver with a small twist of my own with in her parameters the sexual experience we have discussed .

If a women said to me slower or harder i'd do it and further more i'd learn her preferences and then try to blow her mind for the simple reason in blowing her mind I will get a great lay

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To answer those saying I should tell people, I will move their hands, or say I prefer it like that. But what possess people to just shove fingers hard straight in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I'm about to say maybe not be what anyone wants to here and will most likely make me no friends but what the hell so here goes .

A lot of guys on sex sites are there for their own pleasure to satisfy their own lust. the pleasure of the women they meet is a after thought.

so they will do the bare minimum when it comes to foreplay the woman's orgasm is off no real concern to such guys as they are there for their own orgasm and pleasure .

I quick read through this post proves this in be true .

So true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" To answer those saying I should tell people, I will move their hands, or say I prefer it like that. But what possess people to just shove fingers hard straight in. "

No idea!!

I find it a turn off and I wouldn't meet them again.

I like to chat a bit before a meet and get a "feel" of what he likes doesn't like etc and make sure he knows what I like and don't like.

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By *ivnwcplCouple
over a year ago

liverpool

"recently I have actually become that despondent with the abilities of single guys that I am not in the slightest bit interested.. (Coming from a GG this is worrying)

However its come from the fact that over the last few months. Guys in general just seem to be lacking even in the basic sexual skills..

Now okay.. I can be hard to please.. But, I am talking about guys that are that shocking that I actually get put off playing again for the rest of the evening.

I mean okay... I will shy away from intimacy with a guy in general but I will kiss a bit before getting down to it..

Just going through your verifications list to try and spot the crap ones

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"What I'm about to say maybe not be what anyone wants to here and will most likely make me no friends but what the hell so here goes .

A lot of guys on sex sites are there for their own pleasure to satisfy their own lust. the pleasure of the women they meet is a after thought.

so they will do the bare minimum when it comes to foreplay the woman's orgasm is off no real concern to such guys as they are there for their own orgasm and pleasure .

I quick read through this post proves this in be true .

I do not orgasm with 99% of the meets we have... If I was bothered about having an orgasm I would only play with my partner. I do this for experiences and fun and because I enjoy giving pleasure .

I know that for many men just emptying their balls is all they want and on the whole that doesn't bother me. Except when they try to do something they are enept at.

It's when they do things like pinch someone's nipple as the first thing they do. Or put fingers straight in hard. "

I don't climax until a connection is found ether I fully understand why you don't climax on dates but you and I are a minority no matter how exciting the situation we don't let go because for some reason we can't unless we feel totally at ease with the person we are with .you can let go with your partner because your at ease with them because you share a intimate connection .

I can't switch off when having sex with a new partner a lot of the time my mind never stops thinking about what I'm doing how I'm doing it the last thing on my mind is a orgasm there fore I don't go with the flow of my body there for I don't climax unless I'm not thinking and such fucking like I do with a partner I know like the back of my hand which takes a series of dates .

I to do this for the adventure the buzz not the orgasm just like you do .

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By *lways_horny444Man
over a year ago

Wiltshire

Maybe that's why they are single

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

"Well...as am ambassador for the unselfish men on this site, I selflessly offer myself to any lady who needs her faith in single guys rekindling.

I am selfless to a fault

My faith is at an all time low....just saying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reading these comments has been enlightening. It is so easy to assume that I am the one with high expectations. I know that telling someone what you would like is the best way to get what you want ideally but in practice I find the 'left a bit...right a bit' approach to be a passion killer for both parties.

I love sex and can generally get something out of an encounter. I find the better you know a person the easier it is to ask for things. Sadly we are not yet mind readers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Too many guys watching too much porn thinking that's what women want.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

"Too many guys watching too much porn thinking that's what women want."

That's where I think it stems from too

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I don't blame porn. I blame people not telling the guys that they are not good. Quite a few have said to me that no one else has complained x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a painfully honest thread. I guess I have been lucky in a way. Not a massive amounts of meets for me, but most of the ones that I did have, were very satisfactory. Perhaps it was because we chatted a lot beforehand so we got a 'feel' about each other, and told each other how we like what we want. Also during sex I will ask/say if there's room for improvement.

I don't think there's a failproof recipe for these disappointments; there's definitely a factor of luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've got a few that, I've had a meet and only got a bj. I've said next meet I need my pussy filling, they said they would, and next met, a BJ. FFS!

And other's I've met dogging and had a good time as "many" but I do not want a one on one with as they don't cut it. I must grow some balls and tell em straight!

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"I don't blame porn. I blame people not telling the guys that they are not good. Quite a few have said to me that no one else has complained x "

That's pretty much what I just said on Wyrd's other thread!

We never talk sex before a first meet, both to discourage those who just like to talk, and to not get our hopes up too high, so the first time is always a bit ofa risk. We've probably been lucky though, since all the people we have met have been good, respectful, considerate and generous. It is only after a successful first meet that we will talk in detail about what we liked, what we weren't so keen on, what we want to try next time, what things they want to do, etc.

I understand you don't want long-term meets, but perhaps it might be worth considering repeats with the right people?

Mr ddc

Ps I know when she reads this, Mrs ddc will shout "YES" about the rough nipple thing. It's why we generally only play around the same week each month!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I'm about to say maybe not be what anyone wants to here and will most likely make me no friends but what the hell so here goes .

A lot of guys on sex sites are there for their own pleasure to satisfy their own lust. the pleasure of the women they meet is a after thought.

so they will do the bare minimum when it comes to foreplay the woman's orgasm is off no real concern to such guys as they are there for their own orgasm and pleasure .

I quick read through this post proves this in be true .

I will only meet men one on one so we can talk first. Although I don't go into lengthy details if a man asks if I squirt I will make sure he knows that I don't allow any hard fingering. If someone wants to argue about how great it will be I won't meet him. At the beginning of the squirting phenomenon I was caught out. I learned quickly. I couldn't go to a place where I couldn't have a lengthy talk with a man beforehand because,if I thought he was being disrespectful or going too far I wouldn't be too nice about telling him twice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In answer to the second part I have no trouble telling them I get very few verifications from meets as I've told them as they leave I don't want to see them again as I didn't enjoy the experience "

What do they say in response?

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

"In answer to the second part I have no trouble telling them I get very few verifications from meets as I've told them as they leave I don't want to see them again as I didn't enjoy the experience

What do they say in response?"

Varies, I'm not a bitch about it so some take it on the chin and say no worries thanks anyway, others storm off in an huff, some go for the childlike "Wel you were crap too" type expressions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am still puzzled why porn is blamed for poor sexual ability, do these people ask the person whether he got his technique from porn? Do these people ask the men to fill out forms asking what influenced their sexual technique? Maybe men should blame porn when they meet women with poor sexual ability!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't blame porn. I blame people not telling the guys that they are not good. Quite a few have said to me that no one else has complained x

That's pretty much what I just said on Wyrd's other thread!

I understand you don't want long-term meets, but perhaps it might be worth considering repeats with the right people?

Mr ddc

Ps I know when she reads this, Mrs ddc will shout "YES" about the rough nipple thing. It's why we generally only play around the same week each month!"

We have a few friends that we have met a few times but we find that repeat meets in general are usual a let down compared to the first.

We get easily bored...

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By *ischief ManagedCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Mrs has noticed the same also far to rough fingerbashing she called it , she likes rough but not all the time its nice to switch. Youve got to warm the oven and the mind up first

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"I am still puzzled why porn is blamed for poor sexual ability, do these people ask the person whether he got his technique from porn? Do these people ask the men to fill out forms asking what influenced their sexual technique? Maybe men should blame porn when they meet women with poor sexual ability!

Errr maybe because porn is not real its fake so guys who maybe getting ideas from porn are getting the wrong idea .

A quick example here young adolescent guy watches porn sees a guy ramming his fingers forcibly into a girl who is faking enjoyment he than does this thinking it must be how girls like it done no girl ever tells him otherwise because she's young and wants the guy to like her .

Now we have a guy doing it wrong for life unless some woman teaches him otherwise .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What a painfully honest thread. I guess I have been lucky in a way. Not a massive amounts of meets for me, but most of the ones that I did have, were very satisfactory. Perhaps it was because we chatted a lot beforehand so we got a 'feel' about each other, and told each other how we like what we want. Also during sex I will ask/say if there's room for improvement.

I don't think there's a failproof recipe for these disappointments; there's definitely a factor of luck. "

This for me too....who the hell are you all having sex with? I've never had a meet who has been selfish or gone for the fingerbanging approach.

Not all meets have been amazing, but I wouldn't lay the blame for that all at their door.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's a gg?

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

We watch porn too. And we see women being fingerbanged hard, or spat on, or have their hairpulled, or nipples twisted, or throat fucked. Then it happens to us. It's a wild guess really, but I doubt we're wrong.

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By *tallionExoticaMan
over a year ago

Islington

Twisting....nipples??

Since when?

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By *tallionExoticaMan
over a year ago

Islington

Why can't people be more open and expressive in what they wan't out of their sex lives.

I can understand that first times can be a little 'awkward' so to speak. That's where I feel easing up to each other before delving into bedroom activities makes it all the better as you're able to know what works best for both.

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"What's a gg?

Greedy girl or good game .....in this case i'd go with greedy girl

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"Why can't people be more open and expressive in what they wan't out of their sex lives.

Because its hard to open up to someone in that way plus there are people who even when listening to your likes and dislikes will say OK I can do that when they know full bloody well they can't

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Twisting....nipples??

Since when?

I had one guy yank so hard I nearly reflexively elbowed him in the face. I know we should say something when it happens (I did), but maybe they should ask before they do it. I mean, they'd hate it if I chewed on their cock without asking first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its so refreshing to see such an interesting and honest thread like this one . And not least because it seems a common problem now it's in the open , so thank you op for bringing this to the attention of the forum , and to everyone who has contributed .

I would say we have been very lucky that most of our meets with single guys have been fine , but there have been a few which mirror the ops experience . We haven't yet said to stop , but Sabrina will move away or do something different when she isn't happy with how it's going .

As we mainly go dogging we have met a few selfish guys who are totally in it for their own pleasure , but luckily very few have been too rough .

It sounds like the op has changed the way she plays , more kissing and intimacy will encourage gentler passion . And getting a feel for his desires and playing to them will help too .

We are the same in so much as we feel the thrill and passion of the first meet will rarely be reached again . So we prefer not to meet the same guy again . More meets with the same guy become boring and too much like trying to establish a relationship rather than a sexual liaison .

Perhaps the op suffers as we do for having so many meets under her belt . Do you think guys figure we are easy and there's no need to make an effort ?

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"Its so refreshing to see such an interesting and honest thread like this one . And not least because it seems a common problem now it's in the open , so thank you op for bringing this to the attention of the forum , and to everyone who has contributed .

As we mainly go dogging we have met a few selfish guys who are totally in it for their own pleasure , but luckily very few have been too rough .

It sounds like the op has changed the way she plays , more kissing and intimacy will encourage gentler passion . And getting a feel for his desires and playing to them will help too .

Perhaps the op suffers as we do for having so many meets under her belt . Do you think guys figure we are easy and there's no need to make an effort ?

The fact you admit to not doing repeat meets I would say the answer to your question is not the guys thinking your easy .

No i'd say its a case of guys thinking no need to put on a show as no matter how great I am I'm only going to get one go at this might as well do it the for myself then .

Not a nice answer to your question I know but I can't help feeling that would be a how a lot of guys would be thinking when going into the sexual experience with you .

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By *uperock99Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

It takes two to tango, the woman gets as good as she gives, some women just lay there and expect the man to do all the work and effort but this is also the case the other way around, I guess there has to be an attraction for it to be good sex.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"No i'd say its a case of guys thinking no need to put on a show as no matter how great I am I'm only going to get one go at this might as well do it the for myself then."

Really? Is that what guys think? They really don't want it to be pleasurable for us as long as they get their end away?

Well, you just confirmed a few theories I had.

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By *etzPlayCouple
over a year ago

Southend

"No i'd say its a case of guys thinking no need to put on a show as no matter how great I am I'm only going to get one go at this might as well do it the for myself then.

Really? Is that what guys think? They really don't want it to be pleasurable for us as long as they get their end away?

Well, you just confirmed a few theories I had.

I always start with giving the female oral until she cums just in case I cum too quickly J xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It takes two to tango, the woman gets as good as she gives, some women just lay there and expect the man to do all the work and effort but this is also the case the other way around, I guess there has to be an attraction for it to be good sex."

See I'm not talking about not getting at all, although many guys seem to think its a one way street but then plenty of women that are just a starfish. I'd also like to think that a couple we meet and have then agreed to take it further with would find us attractive to them. I'm talking about what to do when the guy or girl is just rubbish.

I will try gentle direction but I find anything that could be counted as telling people that what they are doing is wrong can be taken offensively.

I am happy to have a guy say to me he would rather I sucked his cock in a certain way and I will always watch his partner do it first where possible.

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By *uperock99Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Can't speak for every bloke but some are crap and some are good but I suppose If the male is not selfish he would know naturally that the woman he is trying to please is not turned on and he should not carry on and don't leave it for the woman to embaress herself by having to tell him he is doing nothing for her.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I've met a couple of average guys but in general guys seem to be pretty good and happy to adjust with instruction

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think there's a failproof recipe for these disappointments; there's definitely a factor of luck.

This for me too....who the hell are you all having sex with? I've never had a meet who has been selfish or gone for the fingerbanging approach.

Not all meets have been amazing, but I wouldn't lay the blame for that all at their door. "
Thankyou beautiful you always give a fair assessment of these type threads you can't generalise some guys havnt got a clue but some women equally havnt

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

If I met a bunch of random guys I'd not expect perfection.

Knowing how to please anyone comes from talking and some practice I believe. Because everyone is different and the combination of any 2 (or more) people is unique.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No i'd say its a case of guys thinking no need to put on a show as no matter how great I am I'm only going to get one go at this might as well do it the for myself then.

Really? Is that what guys think? They really don't want it to be pleasurable for us as long as they get their end away?

Well, you just confirmed a few theories I had.

I trust you don't mean all guys. I'd be fecking mortified if I didn't think I was giving a lady the best I could. I know I don't get it right all the time. But if I dont it's not cos I don't care.

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By *uperock99Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

"If I met a bunch of random guys I'd not expect perfection.

Knowing how to please anyone comes from talking and some practice I believe. Because everyone is different and the combination of any 2 (or more) people is unique. "
I guess you are right, first meets are always nerve recking, but If you chat and feel more relaxed you both feel confident and things will follow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't speak for every bloke but some are crap and some are good but I suppose If the male is not selfish he would know naturally that the woman he is trying to please is not turned on and he should not carry on and don't leave it for the woman to embaress herself by having to tell him he is doing nothing for her."

Yes and no. Yes he should be able to tell if it's right or not. No she should not be embarrassed to say if it's not and he's not realised.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Isn't this the downfall of only meeting a guy once, there isn't time to learn what does it for each other?

Hence why in looking for two or three regular guys who want to explore and not just a shag as often is the case on here "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It may have been said before but you mentioned that you're going into it already expecting to be disappointed? I think that mindset might be a sort of negative reinforcement- "this guy is going to be useless, this guy is useless, I was right. The next guy is going to be useless too..." So maybe you need a couple of weeks (or a suitable period depending on your play schedule) off to get excited about it again.

You also mentioned that you've had good experiences up until a month ish ago. This might just be a run of incompatible play mates. If you've had so many as a greedy girl then the stats of it are you can have a run of less than great playmates. Think of it as a coin toss, heads being great sex, tails being disappointing. You might have been heads for so long but now you've got a few tails (ha!). Don't lose faith that it won't pick up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry I realise that doesn't answer the question of how to tell someone what they're doing is awful. Oops.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"first meets are always nerve recking, but If you chat and feel more relaxed you both feel confident and things will follow"

This is why I like a social first time, there's no pressure and it's more relaxed

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By *uperock99Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

"first meets are always nerve recking, but If you chat and feel more relaxed you both feel confident and things will follow

This is why I like a social first time, there's no pressure and it's more relaxed

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By *eLuv2PlayCouple
over a year ago

Alpena

Have only had one gentleman in ten years of swinging that wasn't grand. Felt like he was trying to rev his engine. Chose not to say anything, didn't want to hurt his feelings.

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By *herealdeal90Man
over a year ago

Huddersfield

"At least they're going down on you. The only oral sex I've received in the last two months was from a guy I basically had to beg.

I think guys are watching too much porn. I know they get annoyed when I'm not having a screaming orgasm within 2 minutes."

You wouldn't have to beg me for oral. Il go down on you all night if you wanted me to ??

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

What are you on about I've never known a woman who's randy behave as you say even inexperienced ones .

In my experience women are super eager to please in bed I've never been with a woman who wasn't very interested in making sure I had a good time no a great time .

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"No i'd say its a case of guys thinking no need to put on a show as no matter how great I am I'm only going to get one go at this might as well do it the for myself then.

Really? Is that what guys think? They really don't want it to be pleasurable for us as long as they get their end away?

Well, you just confirmed a few theories I had.

If we say as a guiding rule boys are more selfish than girls less likely to share unless theirs a advantage in sharing .

That would explain a lot of what I was saying a guy wants to have his orgasm he's rock hard full of lust for the woman in front of him .

Now normally he'd be thinking my god I want her how I'm I going to make sure I can have her again and again to satisfy my lust for her . The answer make sure she has a good time so she lusts after me to.

Swinging by its very nature by passes this need to not be selfish then factor in the fact a guy knows he's not going to be meeting a woman again he's only getting one chance here so the pressure not to be selfish is off even more .

I would say the guys who are conscientious lovers on swinger dates are competitive guys there selfish side being over ruled by there need to be the best lover out there or that they can be .

A competitive guy always wants to be the best he can be.

so for him because of his competitive drive he must perform to the best of his ability his very nature will not allow him to behave any other way even when we are talking about sex .

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By *mallteaserWoman
over a year ago

Central

Just move onto the next one lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"recently I have actually become that despondent with the abilities of single guys that I am not in the slightest bit interested.. (Coming from a GG this is worrying)

However its come from the fact that over the last few months. Guys in general just seem to be lacking even in the basic sexual skills..

Now okay.. I can be hard to please.. But, I am talking about guys that are that shocking that I actually get put off playing again for the rest of the evening.

I mean okay... I will shy away from intimacy with a guy in general but I will kiss a bit before getting down to it..

If you weren't so far away you could have test driven me!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's a gg?

Greedy girl or good game .....in this case i'd go with greedy girl

I thought that sort of thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"At least they're going down on you. The only oral sex I've received in the last two months was from a guy I basically had to beg.

I think guys are watching too much porn. I know they get annoyed when I'm not having a screaming orgasm within 2 minutes."

I'd love to go down on you!

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

"If I met a bunch of random guys I'd not expect perfection.

Knowing how to please anyone comes from talking and some practice I believe. Because everyone is different and the combination of any 2 (or more) people is unique. "

But there is a down side to talking too much as well builds expectations too high then if he's even a average lover, you could normally enjoy, you then don't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think what is lacking is a certain amount of empathy for partners. If they could experience being fingerbanged like some piston in a steam engine, they probably wouldn't like it, but the empathy is lacking, so they don't understand maybe?

As for the nipple twisting, maybe they like it. You should probably do it back to see if that's the case

Just some ideas. I'm a guy aware that I'm strong, so I make efforts to be gentle. Especially because I have trouble handling pain myself. Doesn't mean I can't dish it out if that's how the meet goes, just careful in my approach.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

"I think what is lacking is a certain amount of empathy for partners. If they could experience being fingerbanged like some piston in a steam engine, they probably wouldn't like it, but the empathy is lacking, so they don't understand maybe?

As for the nipple twisting, maybe they like it. You should probably do it back to see if that's the case

Ah but they could be finger banged that way all they have to do is bend over

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As we mainly go dogging we have met a few selfish guys who are totally in it for their own pleasure , but luckily very few have been too rough .

It sounds like the op has changed the way she plays , more kissing and intimacy will encourage gentler passion . And getting a feel for his desires and playing to them will help too .

Perhaps the op suffers as we do for having so many meets under her belt . Do you think guys figure we are easy and there's no need to make an effort ?

The fact you admit to not doing repeat meets I would say the answer to your question is not the guys thinking your easy .

No i'd say its a case of guys thinking no need to put on a show as no matter how great I am I'm only going to get one go at this might as well do it the for myself then .

Not a nice answer to your question I know but I can't help feeling that would be a how a lot of guys would be thinking when going into the sexual experience with you .

That's a really good point. But possibly for all meet types. People might think it's unlikely there will be a repeat meet so why bother making an effort. Going to think about that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No i'd say its a case of guys thinking no need to put on a show as no matter how great I am I'm only going to get one go at this might as well do it the for myself then.

Really? Is that what guys think? They really don't want it to be pleasurable for us as long as they get their end away?

Well, you just confirmed a few theories I had.

I trust you don't mean all guys. I'd be fecking mortified if I didn't think I was giving a lady the best I could. I know I don't get it right all the time. But if I dont it's not cos I don't care."

Not all guys. It's usually clear which guys care and which don't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"recently I have actually become that despondent with the abilities of single guys that I am not in the slightest bit interested.. (Coming from a GG this is worrying)

However its come from the fact that over the last few months. Guys in general just seem to be lacking even in the basic sexual skills..

Now okay.. I can be hard to please.. But, I am talking about guys that are that shocking that I actually get put off playing again for the rest of the evening.

I mean okay... I will shy away from intimacy with a guy in general but I will kiss a bit before getting down to it..

Mrs M has had this a few times.was left bruised by one guy who was obsessed with making her gush.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As for the nipple twisting, maybe they like it. You should probably do it back to see if that's the case

Ah but they could be finger banged that way all they have to do is bend over

I like your thinking there, and with some gentle persuasion, I'm sure they might do it once lol

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

As for the nipple twisting, maybe they like it. You should probably do it back to see if that's the case

Ah but they could be finger banged that way all they have to do is bend over

I like your thinking there, and with some gentle persuasion, I'm sure they might do it once lol"

Gentle persuasion? No no no the idea is for you to get the same experience as we women do so I'm ramming them up there with no consideration that your not well lubricated or turned on enough for it, afterall it's not good unless your in agony and telling me to stop

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

As for the nipple twisting, maybe they like it. You should probably do it back to see if that's the case

Ah but they could be finger banged that way all they have to do is bend over

I like your thinking there, and with some gentle persuasion, I'm sure they might do it once lol

You know I think I like you

You go girl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go for the older guys !

Lol

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

As for the nipple twisting, maybe they like it. You should probably do it back to see if that's the case

Ah but they could be finger banged that way all they have to do is bend over

I like your thinking there, and with some gentle persuasion, I'm sure they might do it once lol"

Gentle persuasion what planet are you on just no just no you asked her how she likes it and that's what you do you don't persuade you don't take end of discussion .

Dear god man read what you just wrote and think about it before posting as I'm sure you never ment it how it came out .which is kind of like let's pressure her into it .no you give the woman the experience she wants because you get off by getting women off .

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By *he-Hosiery-GentMan
over a year ago

Older Hot Bearded Guy

"recently I have actually become that despondent with the abilities of single guys that I am not in the slightest bit interested.. (Coming from a GG this is worrying)

However its come from the fact that over the last few months. Guys in general just seem to be lacking even in the basic sexual skills..

Now okay.. I can be hard to please.. But, I am talking about guys that are that shocking that I actually get put off playing again for the rest of the evening.

I mean okay... I will shy away from intimacy with a guy in general but I will kiss a bit before getting down to it..

Blame Porn!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You got to tell them. You only get better by getting knocked back a few times in life. Just tell them you was fucking shit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe some of the guys on here and trying to be porn stars rather than relaxing and enjoying themselves

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

There are the clueless and often they give themselves away by how they communicate up front. But not always, as we've seen, even when you've the stealth intelligence expertise to infiltrate a guy's prowess that the security services would be proud of.

I'm not averse to completely stopping play, if a partner doesn't seem to get my communication - whether non-verbally or spoken. Sometimes a shock tactic can work well - it's a giant exclamation mark that shouts loud and clear that you should be listened to. If a guys had a long term partner he may or may not have been told by them that he's not delivering the goods - or their partners may just be satisfied in different ways to you.

Take things to a different room if necessary, as you can often play differently with a new environment. Bedroom or kitchen, it doesn't matter if you get what you need.

You may not write the veri from hell for them: they'd not publish it anyway.

But overall everyone can do something differently, if they're motivated. Communicate and 'encourage' demonstration of what it is that you really need. If they're not interested, or somewhat incapable of delivering, mark it up to experience, give them a cuppa or show them the door.

And try to work out what it was about this specimen that could have triggered some alarm bells, signifying that he wasn't for you. If you're at a club, you can graciously move on to another place - the bar or a new setting, where others may hold the right talents.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To those saying that if we just meet a couple or guy once what do we expect... Well you expect a guy in his late 30s, early 40s to know how to turn a woman on.

Even more so when they have a partner... I do Think a break may be Needed... As I am now expecting meets to be rubbish unless a good friend has recommended them as I trust my friends views. ( also as most of my friends are greedy girls also I know they have a similar standard of what constitutes a good meet)

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"To those saying that if we just meet a couple or guy once what do we expect... Well you expect a guy in his late 30s, early 40s to know how to turn a woman on.

I think that would be a pity stopping meets .by referring to yourself as a greedy girl I take it you want lots of foreplay teasing something that lasts longer than 15 minutes of fumbling and thrusting .

I don't have a answer to how you would find that over than being brutally honest in the chats before fun about what you expect from the guy saying your a greedy girl may just nit be enough if a clue to what you expect from the guy .

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By *razedcatMan
over a year ago

London / Herts

Sigh...just another way in which some single guys give the rest a bad name.

Although I have experienced this sort of thing myself. As part of my bicuriosity, I've messed around with guys a little. And sometimes, their techniques have been terrible

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

There's a lot said here about ladies instructing men and I get that. But if, on a first meet, when the air is alive with sexual tension, a guy manahe's to completely turn a lady off...then he just isn't worth the effort.

Being told is great but the lady tells you in so many ways.

How her lips respond to your kiss.

How her body tenses because she is uncomfortable.

The sighs of pleasure...or their absence.

Her uncontrollable hands and legs.

Her heartbeat and breathing.

Etc etc. If a guy doesn't listen to the basics...how is he ever going to get to the place where she says "Yes, just like that. Don't stop...just like that." ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/09/15 11:56:22]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To those saying that if we just meet a couple or guy once what do we expect... Well you expect a guy in his late 30s, early 40s to know how to turn a woman on.

I was thinking about something Clem said on his thread. Possibly in jest but it made me think.

Do you think you've been spoiled by Mr D? Because you have such a great connection and you know what works for each other... it makes anyone else not seem good enough in comparison?

Also again as you've said about taking a break. It might be you that's jaded and not them. They might be great but because your heart's not in it then it's crap.

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"There's a lot said here about ladies instructing men and I get that. But if, on a first meet, when the air is alive with sexual tension, a guy manahe's to completely turn a lady off...then he just isn't worth the effort.

Being told is great but the lady tells you in so many ways.

How her lips respond to your kiss.

How her body tenses because she is uncomfortable.

The sighs of pleasure...or their absence.

Her uncontrollable hands and legs.

Her heartbeat and breathing.

Etc etc. If a guy doesn't listen to the basics...how is he ever going to get to the place where she says "Yes, just like that. Don't stop...just like that." ?"

I totally agree with this post but there still has to be a frank chat before all that about limits likes and dislikes especially when dealing with a non vanilla sexual encounter

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To those saying that if we just meet a couple or guy once what do we expect... Well you expect a guy in his late 30s, early 40s to know how to turn a woman on.

I was thinking about something Clem said on his thread. Possibly in jest but it made me think.

Do you think you've been spoiled by Mr D? Because you have such a great connection and you know what works for each other... it makes anyone else not seem good enough in comparison?

Also again as you've said about taking a break. It might be you that's jaded and not them. They might be great but because your heart's not in it then it's crap. "

we have had some amazing meets too... I do not need the guy to be the best in the world just not selfish and not trying to pull my insides out. I am spoiled.. I mean 3 years ago could those that know me of old seen me being happy to not do lots of gangbangs.. And I am.. Its now an occasional thing we will do.

Dont get me wrong.. Mr has had plenty of times where I look over and he has the "SAVE ME" look on his face.. Or he will pull me over to him.. I do not think that either of us are sex gods and the best ever ( okay for me Mr is the best ever but thats not the point) It is just I do not want my delicate parts gone at like they need rearranging with a sledge hammer at least to start with....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/09/15 12:16:45]

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By *atasha_DavidCouple
over a year ago

Slough

"I don't blame porn. I blame people not telling the guys that they are not good. Quite a few have said to me that no one else has complained x "

Well they would wouldn't they.

If they were a little less self-obsessed they might have spotted it wasn't good for you at the time.

We have stopped scenes several times because of people being too rough.

Some guys try to be porn stars, the whole corny dialogue, thigh slapping nine yards, they get booted pdq.

A few are so overwhelmed by the opportunity to live out their fantasies they treat N like a rubber dolly, as above.

Then you get the guy who watches her and responds to her, takes it easy at first and when encouraged as she will if she is enjoying it, goes for it. They get verified and friended.

The two things that seem common are the whole pinching, twisting and squeezing of breasts thing and the trying to punch her uterus out thinking that is ever going to work. It isn't

We just take it as a sign of the times, guys trying too hard due to social pressure, too much porn over real life experience and sometimes just plain old misogyny.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

You could always go for the direct approach;

Youre shit get the fuck off me and the doors that way

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By *orders2forUCouple
over a year ago

Hawick

We have often pondered if the problem is actually they are swinging because one of them is crap at sex.

Like the OP we have/had (ill health at the moment) a brill sex life and finding others to that standard is not at all easy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As for the nipple twisting, maybe they like it. You should probably do it back to see if that's the case

Ah but they could be finger banged that way all they have to do is bend over

I like your thinking there, and with some gentle persuasion, I'm sure they might do it once lol

The gentle persuasion was to get them to bend over

then you pound them til their asses look like the Thornton's logo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've asked several men to leave when they haven't taken any heed of my good advice. You get 3 strikes then you're out! The ones who are the worst are always the guys who brag about how good they are. If a profile says "I give the best head" or something like that i know they're dreadful and steer clear now.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

"I've asked several men to leave when they haven't taken any heed of my good advice. You get 3 strikes then you're out! The ones who are the worst are always the guys who brag about how good they are. If a profile says "I give the best head" or something like that i know they're dreadful and steer clear now."

Yea I don't meet the boasting type profiles for that reason too, always a let down

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By *eonardoLoveMan
over a year ago

London

"recently I have actually become that despondent with the abilities of single guys that I am not in the slightest bit interested.. (Coming from a GG this is worrying)

However its come from the fact that over the last few months. Guys in general just seem to be lacking even in the basic sexual skills..

Now okay.. I can be hard to please.. But, I am talking about guys that are that shocking that I actually get put off playing again for the rest of the evening.

I mean okay... I will shy away from intimacy with a guy in general but I will kiss a bit before getting down to it..

Same problem with girls, I always need to do all the work

...but I like it anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"recently I have actually become that despondent with the abilities of single guys that I am not in the slightest bit interested.. (Coming from a GG this is worrying)

However its come from the fact that over the last few months. Guys in general just seem to be lacking even in the basic sexual skills..

Now okay.. I can be hard to please.. But, I am talking about guys that are that shocking that I actually get put off playing again for the rest of the evening.

I mean okay... I will shy away from intimacy with a guy in general but I will kiss a bit before getting down to it..

Same problem with girls, I always need to do all the work

...but I like it anyway

You've always sucked your own cock have you??

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By *eonardoLoveMan
over a year ago

London

"Same problem with girls, I always need to do all the work

...but I like it anyway

You've always sucked your own cock have you??

...? I think it is long enough, but never tried (??)

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By *eonardoLoveMan
over a year ago

London

My comment was referred to actual Sex...but also a good blowjob is quite rare

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