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Sexless relationships

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Why when men message you are they always in a sexless marriage or relationship why dont they just leave then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Relationships are complicated. Best not to question,give a polite no thank you and walk away.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

Because that means they have to use their set of balls for something other thank releasing spunk from

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

loads of reasons

shared mortgage, maybe they can't afford to run two homes

kids, many woman use kids as a weapon when men want to leave

the list is endless it's really not that easy to up sticks and leave for many people

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Relationships are complicated. Best not to question,give a polite no thank you and walk away. "

In all seriousness this is the right answer if it's not for you don't meet them the status of their relationship is not for you to comment on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it was as simple as that they probably would

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me and my ex stayed together for 2 years after we split up. Our kids were babies, we had no money so neither of us could leave the home.

I respected the fact that i lived with him and didn't try to meet anyone else, although that was really hard and it made depressed having to put my life on hold because of poverty and being stuck in a situation none of us wanted.

Some guys lie and are getting sex but it's shit sex, or even they're getting good sex and are greedy.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

[Removed by poster at 26/09/15 14:12:23]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why when men message you are they always in a sexless marriage or relationship why dont they just leave then? "

Could be that they are liers?! My ex husband use to say that to other women about us (found chat/dating sites he was on!) but we were still very active!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why when men message you are they always in a sexless marriage or relationship why dont they just leave then?

Could be that they are liers?! My ex husband use to say that to other women about us (found chat/dating sites he was on!) but we werre still very active! "

Bet you where fumming

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why when men message you are they always in a sexless marriage or relationship why dont they just leave then?

Could be that they are liers?! My ex husband use to say that to other women about us (found chat/dating sites he was on!) but we werre still very active!

Bet you where fumming "

Heartbroken! It wasn't a healthy relationship from start to finish tbh. All different now. Got my sexy man who increased my confidence and shares my hornyness!

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By *layfulserfMan
over a year ago

Northolt

I promised my wife I would never leaver her.

My word is my bond

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"I promised my wife I would never leaver her.

My word is my bond"

Certainly hope you didn't say the bonded words "foresaking all others" in your vows then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely if they are up front about there status be it man or woman it's up to you to meet or not . They could have many reasons not that it's anyone's business ..just saying lol X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I promised my wife I would never leaver her.

My word is my bond"

did your wedding vows not promise to stay faithful to her?

not having a go for you being on here but seems weird that your word is your bond one subject but not another

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I promised my wife I would never leaver her.

My word is my bond

Certainly hope you didn't say the bonded words "foresaking all others" in your vows then"

great minds

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Am I missing something here OP.

your ad says that you are only looking for attached men. ...so if they did all leave their wives that would mean that you wouldnt see them.......

maybe they just stay with their wives in the hope that you will play with them lol

im confusing myself now lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Am I missing something here OP.

your ad says that you are only looking for attached men. ...so if they did all leave their wives that would mean that you wouldnt see them.......

maybe they just stay with their wives in the hope that you will play with them lol

im confusing myself now lol "

I do like attached men less hassle but what i am saying is just be honest and say you love sex and want more not just makes excusses your in a sexless relationship all the guys on here surly cant be in sexless relationships

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"Am I missing something here OP.

your ad says that you are only looking for attached men. ...so if they did all leave their wives that would mean that you wouldnt see them.......

maybe they just stay with their wives in the hope that you will play with them lol

im confusing myself now lol

I do like attached men less hassle but what i am saying is just be honest and say you love sex and want more not just makes excusses your in a sexless relationship all the guys on here surly cant be in sexless relationships "

They don't 'all' say it which suggests it doesn't apply to lots of men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Am I missing something here OP.

your ad says that you are only looking for attached men. ...so if they did all leave their wives that would mean that you wouldnt see them.......

maybe they just stay with their wives in the hope that you will play with them lol

im confusing myself now lol

I do like attached men less hassle but what i am saying is just be honest and say you love sex and want more not just makes excusses your in a sexless relationship all the guys on here surly cant be in sexless relationships "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Relationships are complicated. Best not to question,give a polite no thank you and walk away.

In all seriousness this is the right answer if it's not for you don't meet them the status of their relationship is not for you to comment on "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I promised my wife I would never leaver her.

My word is my bond

Certainly hope you didn't say the bonded words "foresaking all others" in your vows then"

Hopefully none of the Swingers said it either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sometimes its just not that easy to hop off and leave.easier just to cheat hope they dont find out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

surely if you prefer to meet attached people, and that is certainly your perogative, you must be aware that they will usually be lying to their partners? so i don't really understand why you would be suprised that they are lying in other areas..surely that goes with the territory?

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"I promised my wife I would never leaver her.

My word is my bond

Certainly hope you didn't say the bonded words "foresaking all others" in your vows then

Hopefully none of the Swingers said it either. "

Very true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why when men message you are they always in a sexless marriage or relationship why dont they just leave then? "

It's not just men though I was in a sex less relationship.. sex once in last 12 months and if we did it was on his terms just a wham bam roll on roll off that was it no feeling or emotion never kissed me in the 3 yrs we were together said he didn't like kissing was not a big fan of sex either.. used to moan like hell when I tried to get him in the mood lol I did tell him if things did not improve I would find it elsewhere.. and yes I did leave him..

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By *ouple_SpondonCouple
over a year ago

Spondon


"Why when men message you are they always in a sexless marriage or relationship why dont they just leave then? "

I suspect they're going for sympathy. It doesn't fly with us. We're on this site for our benefit only, not all these mysteriously unsatisfied husbands.

See through it and only meet when you want to, Not because someone tried to twist your arm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"surely if you prefer to meet attached people, and that is certainly your perogative, you must be aware that they will usually be lying to their partners? so i don't really understand why you would be suprised that they are lying in other areas..surely that goes with the territory?"

I don't go with that school of thought. Lying about one thing doesn't necessarily mean someone will lie about something else. Although everyone lies at some point in their life I don't assume a man lying to his wife will need to lie about anything to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't engage in conversations with married men to ask why they are cheating. There's no need to if you don't meet married men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would have left a long time ago but I have kids that I could not leave. And I now my wife would be a vicious as possible

If I was to leave. Also money would be an issue. As for sex she thinks I should be grateful for once a month missionary.

That is why I am here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"loads of reasons

shared mortgage, maybe they can't afford to run two homes

kids, many woman use kids as a weapon when men want to leave

the list is endless it's really not that easy to up sticks and leave for many people "
this is exactly the situation in in now I have not had sex with my wife for 4 years she is just not interested yet as soon as I say I'm leaving the threats start about me never seeing my son again which would kill me I feel trapped she would carry out the threat too she would make out I'm some sort of violent partner yet I work for the NHS so it would not only have implications on my relationship with my son it could potentially cost me my job

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I left my husband (who was cheating on me and refusing to have sex with me),he threatened to kill himself so I went back. Eventually I had to end it and he tried to kill himself. Previously I was unable to leave because of home responsibilities and he refused to leave. I was fine with him being there and not having sex,I can go without,some people can't or want some small pieces of affection. Never judge,walk away and don't ask questions.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"loads of reasons

shared mortgage, maybe they can't afford to run two homes

kids, many woman use kids as a weapon when men want to leave

the list is endless it's really not that easy to up sticks and leave for many people this is exactly the situation in in now I have not had sex with my wife for 4 years she is just not interested yet as soon as I say I'm leaving the threats start about me never seeing my son again which would kill me I feel trapped she would carry out the threat too she would make out I'm some sort of violent partner yet I work for the NHS so it would not only have implications on my relationship with my son it could potentially cost me my job"

most courts now at the very least, would even allow proven abusive partners supervised visitation rights at public children centres with social workers present so it's an empty threat nowadays. In fact in most situations where these threats are made the courts write them of as the bitter ex out for revenge, that's if it gets to the court stages it's a massively long process before that stage most don't wanna jump through all the hoops to get the court order they need to stop you seeing that child, without a court order there's sweet fuck all she can do about it

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"loads of reasons

shared mortgage, maybe they can't afford to run two homes

kids, many woman use kids as a weapon when men want to leave

the list is endless it's really not that easy to up sticks and leave for many people this is exactly the situation in in now I have not had sex with my wife for 4 years she is just not interested yet as soon as I say I'm leaving the threats start about me never seeing my son again which would kill me I feel trapped she would carry out the threat too she would make out I'm some sort of violent partner yet I work for the NHS so it would not only have implications on my relationship with my son it could potentially cost me my job

most courts now at the very least, would even allow proven abusive partners supervised visitation rights at public children centres with social workers present so it's an empty threat nowadays. In fact in most situations where these threats are made the courts write them of as the bitter ex out for revenge, that's if it gets to the court stages it's a massively long process before that stage most don't wanna jump through all the hoops to get the court order they need to stop you seeing that child, without a court order there's sweet fuck all she can do about it"

Your job can't be effected either unless your convicted of a serious violent crime and even then it hasn't occurred within working hourstheres not much they can do and if it could have an effect they have disaplinay processes to follow that are long winded and rarely end up in you being let go

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By *helbeeCouple
over a year ago

Nuneaton

Exactly i dont understand the " im happy with my relationship but dont get any sex an i love my partner etc wife

i question it, you wouldn't cheat if you loved your partner

this is why i stay single, an a lot hapier, have a nice job, go out with friends, an i find i dont need a bf

So hence i do the nsa type relationship

i cant commit again. .an nsa is so simple no complications

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was married for 21 years and we never had sex for the last ten.

People leave, and stay, for many many reasons

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Why when men message you are they always in a sexless marriage or relationship why dont they just leave then? "

Because they don't want to, it really is as simple as that. If their situation doesn't suit you move on to the next

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Exactly i dont understand the " im happy with my relationship but dont get any sex an i love my partner etc wife

i question it, you wouldn't cheat if you loved your partner

this is why i stay single, an a lot hapier, have a nice job, go out with friends, an i find i dont need a bf

So hence i do the nsa type relationship

i cant commit again. .an nsa is so simple no complications "

I tend to question that too but that's due to personal experience, before my ex hubby left me for the women's it turns out he was having an affair with I spent 3 years in a sexless marriage, never strayed once, even though I had the opportunity, on more than one occasion and why? Answers simple because I loved my husband, but hey that's just me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"loads of reasons

shared mortgage, maybe they can't afford to run two homes

kids, many woman use kids as a weapon when men want to leave

the list is endless it's really not that easy to up sticks and leave for many people this is exactly the situation in in now I have not had sex with my wife for 4 years she is just not interested yet as soon as I say I'm leaving the threats start about me never seeing my son again which would kill me I feel trapped she would carry out the threat too she would make out I'm some sort of violent partner yet I work for the NHS so it would not only have implications on my relationship with my son it could potentially cost me my job

most courts now at the very least, would even allow proven abusive partners supervised visitation rights at public children centres with social workers present so it's an empty threat nowadays. In fact in most situations where these threats are made the courts write them of as the bitter ex out for revenge, that's if it gets to the court stages it's a massively long process before that stage most don't wanna jump through all the hoops to get the court order they need to stop you seeing that child, without a court order there's sweet fuck all she can do about it

Your job can't be effected either unless your convicted of a serious violent crime and even then it hasn't occurred within working hourstheres not much they can do and if it could have an effect they have disaplinay processes to follow that are long winded and rarely end up in you being let go "
I did get done for assault I beat up my partners ex when he threatened her with a knife little prick had me arrested I did pass my CRB for work though the assault charge did take some explaining.Its just the horrible little threats I get sounds silly I know but in the heat of the moment they make you think is splitting worth the hassle that would follow and its going to be horrible for my son to go through

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Because that means they have to use their set of balls for something other thank releasing spunk from "

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

[Removed by poster at 27/09/15 12:41:13]

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"loads of reasons

shared mortgage, maybe they can't afford to run two homes

kids, many woman use kids as a weapon when men want to leave

the list is endless it's really not that easy to up sticks and leave for many people this is exactly the situation in in now I have not had sex with my wife for 4 years she is just not interested yet as soon as I say I'm leaving the threats start about me never seeing my son again which would kill me I feel trapped she would carry out the threat too she would make out I'm some sort of violent partner yet I work for the NHS so it would not only have implications on my relationship with my son it could potentially cost me my job

Even so your CRB passed they accepted it proves my point it takes a lot for it to have an effect

I respect you considering your sons feelings but if she was being vindictive in the way you say, your son while soon see where he's better off, even my two year old twins show understanding of that in my current separated situation never underestimate how understanding kids are, sometimes they perceive more than we adults do and certainly more than we give them credit for

most courts now at the very least, would even allow proven abusive partners supervised visitation rights at public children centres with social workers present so it's an empty threat nowadays. In fact in most situations where these threats are made the courts write them of as the bitter ex out for revenge, that's if it gets to the court stages it's a massively long process before that stage most don't wanna jump through all the hoops to get the court order they need to stop you seeing that child, without a court order there's sweet fuck all she can do about it

Your job can't be effected either unless your convicted of a serious violent crime and even then it hasn't occurred within working hourstheres not much they can do and if it could have an effect they have disaplinay processes to follow that are long winded and rarely end up in you being let go I did get done for assault I beat up my partners ex when he threatened her with a knife little prick had me arrested I did pass my CRB for work though the assault charge did take some explaining.Its just the horrible little threats I get sounds silly I know but in the heat of the moment they make you think is splitting worth the hassle that would follow and its going to be horrible for my son to go through"

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

And from how you've portrayed her I think I'd rather leave than risk her catching me cheating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cake and eat it comes to mind...

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley


"loads of reasons

shared mortgage, maybe they can't afford to run two homes

kids, many woman use kids as a weapon when men want to leave

the list is endless it's really not that easy to up sticks and leave for many people "

And, some do genuinely love their wives / girlfriends but do want physical intimacy from else where which they cannot find with them

I still wouldn't meet them as a first choice because they are clock-watchers and bit too 'slimy'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why when men message you are they always in a sexless marriage or relationship why dont they just leave then? "

££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"loads of reasons

shared mortgage, maybe they can't afford to run two homes

kids, many woman use kids as a weapon when men want to leave

the list is endless it's really not that easy to up sticks and leave for many people "
This. Thankyou x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why when men message you are they always in a sexless marriage or relationship why dont they just leave then? "

Kids

Security

Can't afford it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also plenty of women that can't see an exit either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Me and my ex stayed together for 2 years after we split up. Our kids were babies, we had no money so neither of us could leave the home.

I respected the fact that i lived with him and didn't try to meet anyone else, although that was really hard and it made depressed having to put my life on hold because of poverty and being stuck in a situation none of us wanted.

Some guys lie and are getting sex but it's shit sex, or even they're getting good sex and are greedy."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a lot more to a relationship than sex - is why some stay together - bonds

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because life isn't as black and white as some others may think, there's a lot of grey inbetween.

If they message and its not your thing, simply move on.

There's room for everyone on here, some will float your boat, others won't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Relationships are complicated. Best not to question,give a polite no thank you and walk away. "

They simply shouldn't be on here so why should we be polite when they're trying to use us to help disrespect their partner?? No excuse for cheating!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Relationships are complicated. Best not to question,give a polite no thank you and walk away.

They simply shouldn't be on here so why should we be polite when they're trying to use us to help disrespect their partner?? No excuse for cheating! "

It's not for you to say they shouldn't be on here.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Relationships are complicated. Best not to question,give a polite no thank you and walk away.

They simply shouldn't be on here so why should we be polite when they're trying to use us to help disrespect their partner?? No excuse for cheating! "

I don't agree with cheating it's why I won't meet people that do but I wouldn't go around dictating who can and can't use fab

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Relationships are complicated. Best not to question,give a polite no thank you and walk away.

They simply shouldn't be on here so why should we be polite when they're trying to use us to help disrespect their partner?? No excuse for cheating!

It's not for you to say they shouldn't be on here."

When they send me messages repeated messages or not trying to get me to help them cheat then yes I have got the right. Let's hope you never get cheated on then you'll never know the true extent of the pain it causes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Relationships are complicated. Best not to question,give a polite no thank you and walk away.

They simply shouldn't be on here so why should we be polite when they're trying to use us to help disrespect their partner?? No excuse for cheating!

It's not for you to say they shouldn't be on here.

When they send me messages repeated messages or not trying to get me to help them cheat then yes I have got the right. Let's hope you never get cheated on then you'll never know the true extent of the pain it causes!"

You have the right to block them & not meet them.

But that is all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Relationships are complicated. Best not to question,give a polite no thank you and walk away.

They simply shouldn't be on here so why should we be polite when they're trying to use us to help disrespect their partner?? No excuse for cheating!

It's not for you to say they shouldn't be on here.

When they send me messages repeated messages or not trying to get me to help them cheat then yes I have got the right. Let's hope you never get cheated on then you'll never know the true extent of the pain it causes!

You have the right to block them & not meet them.

But that is all. "

I have the right to my opinion and in this instance im right. Ask any victim of a cheat. Simply put cheaters ruin it for the genuine singles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do they ruin it for genuine singles? I don't ruin anything for anyone else, they don't ruin anything for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Relationships are complicated. Best not to question,give a polite no thank you and walk away.

They simply shouldn't be on here so why should we be polite when they're trying to use us to help disrespect their partner?? No excuse for cheating!

It's not for you to say they shouldn't be on here.

When they send me messages repeated messages or not trying to get me to help them cheat then yes I have got the right. Let's hope you never get cheated on then you'll never know the true extent of the pain it causes!

You have the right to block them & not meet them.

But that is all. "

Lol you won't meet married men yourself and yet here you are sticking up for them. Oh the hypocrisy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Relationships are complicated. Best not to question,give a polite no thank you and walk away.

They simply shouldn't be on here so why should we be polite when they're trying to use us to help disrespect their partner?? No excuse for cheating!

It's not for you to say they shouldn't be on here.

When they send me messages repeated messages or not trying to get me to help them cheat then yes I have got the right. Let's hope you never get cheated on then you'll never know the true extent of the pain it causes!

You have the right to block them & not meet them.

But that is all.

Lol you won't meet married men yourself and yet here you are sticking up for them. Oh the hypocrisy "

There are married women on here too.

You're missing my point. I'm saying its nobody else's business why married people are on here. I and you just have the choice whether to meet them or not. It's not for me to say they shouldn't be on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Relationships are complicated. Best not to question,give a polite no thank you and walk away.

They simply shouldn't be on here so why should we be polite when they're trying to use us to help disrespect their partner?? No excuse for cheating!

It's not for you to say they shouldn't be on here.

When they send me messages repeated messages or not trying to get me to help them cheat then yes I have got the right. Let's hope you never get cheated on then you'll never know the true extent of the pain it causes!

You have the right to block them & not meet them.

But that is all.

Lol you won't meet married men yourself and yet here you are sticking up for them. Oh the hypocrisy "

No-one is 'sticking up' for fabbers who cheat. I was in a dead 8 year relationship and although I didn't cheat I needed affection and intimacy. I'm sorry if you were cheated on

but here is not the place to vent and be impolite at people who are simply giving their opinons

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Relationships are complicated. Best not to question,give a polite no thank you and walk away.

They simply shouldn't be on here so why should we be polite when they're trying to use us to help disrespect their partner?? No excuse for cheating!

It's not for you to say they shouldn't be on here.

When they send me messages repeated messages or not trying to get me to help them cheat then yes I have got the right. Let's hope you never get cheated on then you'll never know the true extent of the pain it causes!

You have the right to block them & not meet them.

But that is all.

I have the right to my opinion and in this instance im right. Ask any victim of a cheat. Simply put cheaters ruin it for the genuine singles."

Well I've been cheated on it was a full blown 3 year affair infact yes the pain was awful but I'm still not dictating their right to be on this or similar site, their life, their choice, their consequences to face

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Relationships are complicated. Best not to question,give a polite no thank you and walk away.

They simply shouldn't be on here so why should we be polite when they're trying to use us to help disrespect their partner?? No excuse for cheating!

It's not for you to say they shouldn't be on here.

When they send me messages repeated messages or not trying to get me to help them cheat then yes I have got the right. Let's hope you never get cheated on then you'll never know the true extent of the pain it causes!

You have the right to block them & not meet them.

But that is all.

I have the right to my opinion and in this instance im right. Ask any victim of a cheat. Simply put cheaters ruin it for the genuine singles."

How do they ruin it?

And btw whilst you're entitled to an opinion you're not necessarily right in all circumstances.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Relationships are complicated. Best not to question,give a polite no thank you and walk away.

They simply shouldn't be on here so why should we be polite when they're trying to use us to help disrespect their partner?? No excuse for cheating!

It's not for you to say they shouldn't be on here.

When they send me messages repeated messages or not trying to get me to help them cheat then yes I have got the right. Let's hope you never get cheated on then you'll never know the true extent of the pain it causes!

You have the right to block them & not meet them.

But that is all.

I have the right to my opinion and in this instance im right. Ask any victim of a cheat. Simply put cheaters ruin it for the genuine singles."

How do they ruin it for genuine singles?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's rarely so black and white. Lots of other people / outcomes to consider. I was celibate for the last 8 years of my marriage but during that time splitting wasn't an option. I started seeing someone once we began divorce proceedings.

Since then I've met various married / attached guys and don't judge, its their life and their choice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex is a pleasant physical activity. Sexual fidelity is an unreliable measure of love and affection. Men are driven to crave sex as an affirmation of their basic desirability to women far more than by their need for sexual relief. (You can get sexual relief by wanking but the men who only wanked died out millenia ago through natural selection)

Consequently, whilst all other aspects of a relationship may be very good a man may still feel driven to stray if his wife does not continue to demonstrate she still rates him as a breeding partner; i.e. because she does not want sex.

Females wait to be approached and select their sexual partner from the herd. Consequently they view sexual fidelity as a virtue and are less inclined to seek sex elsewhere. Males often, verbally and in public at least, act against their own base feelings and applaud sexual fidelity to show they are good choices for the female. Mars and Venus! Wasn't it always so?

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By *eanontiWoman
over a year ago

Limerick


"I don't engage in conversations with married men to ask why they are cheating. There's no need to if you don't meet married men. "

This is my point of view example exactly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's rarely so black and white. Lots of other people / outcomes to consider. I was celibate for the last 8 years of my marriage but during that time splitting wasn't an option. I started seeing someone once we began divorce proceedings.

Since then I've met various married / attached guys and don't judge, its their life and their choice."

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

Well one thing I will say is I am a woman and I'm friends with many women from all walks of life

I have yet to meet a women that's actually ever gone off sex, they do however always have a reason for "going off sex"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was married for 20 years and loved her to bits, I wanted to be with her forever.

We rarely had sex and it wasn't for the want of trying, I wined and dined, bought flowers,little presents, expensive presents,I tried everything, I tried to get her to talk, but she wouldn't, I asked her if it was me but she said no.

Everything else in the relationship was fantastic.Great home great kids she had a great job I had my own company.

Just no sex, so I looked elsewhere, not proud of it even now, But it was just sex and nothing else.

Lo and behold I found out she was having an affair been with him for 3 weeks when I found out, I tried everything to save that marriage but she wouldn't listen to anything.

So we divorced and the pain was terrible I lost 6 stone in 3 months (which was good) it wasn't very amicable and she was quite nasty,when the divorce came through I sent her a letter saying that she wasn't the person I knew and loved anymore, that person was dead to me, I told her that if I ever saw her again I would blank her, she was dead to me.

I didn't speak to her for 7 years, and I did blank her if I saw her.

Then one day 5 months before my eldest sons graduation I saw her in town, again I blanked her but as I walked past her I thought about my sons graduation and decided it wouldn't be fair to him,so I called her name she stopped and we chatted,we went to a coffee shop and talked about my sons upcoming graduation and as we talked she started to cry.... then she said sorry, sorry for everything sorry for not being able to talk to me, sorry that she spoiled everything.

And she still loved me.......

I know I was never perfect but I was a good husband,father,provider and didn't deserve the way it all ended it's like you whole life has been torn away.

The guy she left me for abused her mainly mentally, she couldn't see her friends,had to walk with her head down, was made to feel cheap.other shit just not nice.

We talk now and again and have had another graduation day.

It is to late for us now,but I still love her.

So before any people judge about men or women playing away just be careful as you will never know all the reasons why this happens.

This is a site for swinging not to judge people for the decisions they make in life.

yes we can all have opinions but remember that's all they are opinions.

Love and peace xx

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By *lanemikeMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Can empathise with that story.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex is a very important part of a lifelong relationship, but I do have relationships with women where we are very close friends you could almost say lovers, we go out together, they sleep over occasionally etc. but there is no sex...both fine with it..but others where we do have sex. Just depends on the person and how they make you feel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lestud. Your story echos something I know of. The beginning bit anyway.

I will never judge, I won't even give advice.

When somebody's married and still very much in love, it's very hard to choose to leave because of lack of sex. It's seems so selfish. 'You won't have sex! I'm leaving!' Mmm.

You need to ask why you chose to marry. lots of different reasons for different people I suppose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well one thing I will say is I am a woman and I'm friends with many women from all walks of life

I have yet to meet a women that's actually ever gone off sex, they do however always have a reason for "going off sex" "

You've never met one with thyroid problems then

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Well one thing I will say is I am a woman and I'm friends with many women from all walks of life

I have yet to meet a women that's actually ever gone off sex, they do however always have a reason for "going off sex"

You've never met one with thyroid problems then"

I have and I have thyroid issues myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lestud. Your story echos something I know of. The beginning bit anyway.

I will never judge, I won't even give advice.

When somebody's married and still very much in love, it's very hard to choose to leave because of lack of sex. It's seems so selfish. 'You won't have sex! I'm leaving!' Mmm.

You need to ask why you chose to marry. lots of different reasons for different people I suppose.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well one thing I will say is I am a woman and I'm friends with many women from all walks of life

I have yet to meet a women that's actually ever gone off sex, they do however always have a reason for "going off sex"

You've never met one with thyroid problems then

Well sex was the last thing on my ex's mind, maybe it affects people differently.

Good luck with yours btw x

I have and I have thyroid issues myself "

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By *inchyorksMan
over a year ago

huddersfield


"Why when men message you are they always in a sexless marriage or relationship why dont they just leave then? "

its not always as easy, my last relationship lasted 9 years, 6 of which were sexless, due to my partner being attacked and raped, which as you can imagine caused a lot of issues, physically and mentally. So would it have been right to just leave her in the wake of such an attack, just because i wasn't getting sex?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"Why when men message you are they always in a sexless marriage or relationship why dont they just leave then?

its not always as easy, my last relationship lasted 9 years, 6 of which were sexless, due to my partner being attacked and raped, which as you can imagine caused a lot of issues, physically and mentally. So would it have been right to just leave her in the wake of such an attack, just because i wasn't getting sex?"

Some people have a very simplistic view of situations with strongly defined boundaries and don't often consider all the aspects - mainly because they don't know them,and can't know them, so they base a belief and point of view of what information they have to hand plus their own experiences, prejudices and judgements. What you have to remember though, is that point of view is right for them. If someone has a very strongly held belief is almost pointless trying to change their mind no matter how justifiable you believe the action is.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I don't know why that appeared. It was a comment and observation, not a crossly moan.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Why when men message you are they always in a sexless marriage or relationship why dont they just leave then?

its not always as easy, my last relationship lasted 9 years, 6 of which were sexless, due to my partner being attacked and raped, which as you can imagine caused a lot of issues, physically and mentally. So would it have been right to just leave her in the wake of such an attack, just because i wasn't getting sex?"

The thing in this you need to realise (as with all cheats) is that you need to accept that part of taking responsibility for your actions is facing the judgement of others, while you think your being the stand up guy by staying with her and just getting sex elsewhere, some will agree, others (especially in a situation as delicate as this) are still going to label you a prick for it it's one of the consequences if you can't accept that then don't cheat in the first place

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By *verysmileMan
over a year ago

CANTERBURY

Men usually stay in sexless relationships for the same reasons that women stay in sexless relationships.

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By *rSinfulMan
over a year ago

mysteryville

Lots of sexist anti men speak here branding all men as liars ! Lovely ! , could be more complicated like the bloke is helping a partner through a rough time and needs some love he's not getting to cope.

One thing if swinging is about people being sexually free whys it matter is he or she is single or not if the intent is not to date and to just have fun and make friends. seems ok for women to be in a relationship and swing but blokes not so why ? Are all the women liars too who are greedy or having shit sex and want more or just wanting to cheat. Men and women ain't that much different just seems to me we are all flawed and need more love

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By *rotiquexxxMan
over a year ago

Unquenchable Desires


"Why when men message you are they always in a sexless marriage or relationship why dont they just leave then? "

Because of Love

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am a man in a sexless relationship, just because we no longer have sex ( for medical reasons ) , does not mean we have lost our love for each other, We now have an open relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never judge what you don't know.. 2 sides to every story. For those that have commented about swingers breaking their wedding vowels, I think if you are both swinging together then you are "breaking them together". Hubby and I certainly don't feel we have broken our wedding vowels to each other by swinging together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lestud. Your story echos something I know of. The beginning bit anyway.

I will never judge, I won't even give advice.

When somebody's married and still very much in love, it's very hard to choose to leave because of lack of sex. It's seems so selfish. 'You won't have sex! I'm leaving!' Mmm.

You need to ask why you chose to marry. lots of different reasons for different people I suppose.

"

However there are men that do that just to get sex from their wives

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well one thing I will say is I am a woman and I'm friends with many women from all walks of life

I have yet to meet a women that's actually ever gone off sex, they do however always have a reason for "going off sex" "

I'd love to know where you get your comment 'always' from as my friend is in a loveless marriage and cheats because now they have a child, his wife has what she wants and doesn't want him anymore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why when men message you are they always in a sexless marriage or relationship why dont they just leave then? "

Because it's too easy for women to stop us seeing our kids

Simples

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By *rSinfulMan
over a year ago

mysteryville

Nice to hear some commenta that are balancing. This now. There are a great many variables. Sex and love are different and it's possible to love more than one person each love is different. You can be in a committed relationship and both decide you want to have more sex and it can work wonders and actually bring you closer that's what I thought traditional swinging was about. It's funny as on here it seems single males never get meets and no one seems to want men in relationships, many are frightened off by couples it's seems lol who the fuck does have fun on here

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

I have no experience of looking for sex outside of a male-female relationship and nor have I ever had a male partner who wanted to

So, I guess, this is a case of "walk a mile in my shoes ..."

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By *ivnwcplCouple
over a year ago

liverpool


"Why when men message you are they always in a sexless marriage or relationship why dont they just leave then? "

Because not all relationships are based on sex, family commitments might be the reason they are still together...then again they could just be lying scumbags

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"loads of reasons

shared mortgage, maybe they can't afford to run two homes

kids, many woman use kids as a weapon when men want to leave

the list is endless it's really not that easy to up sticks and leave for many people "

Or....IMHO they are lying are actually just looking to cheat and have a bit on the side. Seems to be a lot on the site just now. Hence clearly stated on my profile....no married/attached men

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By *hy-totCouple
over a year ago

Skellow

I was in a no sex relationship as wife was dyeing with cancer I chose too stay till the end as a career

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why when men message you are they always in a sexless marriage or relationship why dont they just leave then? "

OP, if you would leave a spouse and maybe children simply because you are not having sex; then i presume, whatever the other unpalatible aspects of their personality, you would marry anyone simply for sex?

That is a very interesting point of view. As they say on Fab, "personal preference".

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By *lacksausageMan
over a year ago

Birmingham Airport


"Exactly i dont understand the " im happy with my relationship but dont get any sex an i love my partner etc wife

i question it, you wouldn't cheat if you loved your partner

this is why i stay single, an a lot hapier, have a nice job, go out with friends, an i find i dont need a bf

So hence i do the nsa type relationship

i cant commit again. .an nsa is so simple no complications

I tend to question that too but that's due to personal experience, before my ex hubby left me for the women's it turns out he was having an affair with I spent 3 years in a sexless marriage, never strayed once, even though I had the opportunity, on more than one occasion and why? Answers simple because I loved my husband, but hey that's just me "

...even though you had the opportunity?

What? Stiff sausages were laid out infront of you every Monday morning?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just so it is clear. Sexual monogamy is not a measure of love. If it was you could not love your mother and father, children or friends.

Men are programmed to want to be wanted by women just other male animals in the wild. It is a powerful force. When they are sexually rejected by someone they love it hurts a great deal. When they seek sex elsewhere it is not for sexual relief (because wanking is easier) but to reafirm their basic desirability as a man.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Exactly i dont understand the " im happy with my relationship but dont get any sex an i love my partner etc wife

i question it, you wouldn't cheat if you loved your partner

this is why i stay single, an a lot hapier, have a nice job, go out with friends, an i find i dont need a bf

So hence i do the nsa type relationship

i cant commit again. .an nsa is so simple no complications

I tend to question that too but that's due to personal experience, before my ex hubby left me for the women's it turns out he was having an affair with I spent 3 years in a sexless marriage, never strayed once, even though I had the opportunity, on more than one occasion and why? Answers simple because I loved my husband, but hey that's just me

...even though you had the opportunity?

What? Stiff sausages were laid out infront of you every Monday morning? "

No nothing like that but there were men I could have pulled on nights out etc even a work mate made it clear he wanted me but I still never did, I had a vibrator for sexual relief, choose to believe that or not don't give a toss I know the truth for myself that's the important aspect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was in a no sex relationship as wife was dyeing with cancer I chose too stay till the end as a career "

So sorry to hear that xx

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By *ngelsdevilWoman
over a year ago

Merseyside

Its something which I think is individual to each circumstance, I met a guy for 18 months off here quite regularly but never knew that he was actually in a relationship already because he never told me and (to even upto being called out on it) was a s°°t house and wouldn't admit it. A year on even though he was straying has now married her! If he was that unhappy would he really have done that? God knows! He is just one of life's rats who does it purely because he can and destroys my faith in faithfulness.

On the other hand there's the ones who just don't get any affection at home and crave the attention and the want to be desired.

Then there's the ones who would get rinsed for CSA payments (I know someone who pays £2000 a month in maintenance because he's got a good job and his ex rinsed him! I don't think it's a question that can be generally be answered!

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By *ap AdgeMan
over a year ago

Wirral


"I was married for 20 years and loved her to bits, I wanted to be with her forever.

We rarely had sex and it wasn't for the want of trying, I wined and dined, bought flowers,little presents, expensive presents,I tried everything, I tried to get her to talk, but she wouldn't, I asked her if it was me but she said no.

Everything else in the relationship was fantastic.Great home great kids she had a great job I had my own company.

Just no sex, so I looked elsewhere, not proud of it even now, But it was just sex and nothing else.

Lo and behold I found out she was having an affair been with him for 3 weeks when I found out, I tried everything to save that marriage but she wouldn't listen to anything.

So we divorced and the pain was terrible I lost 6 stone in 3 months (which was good) it wasn't very amicable and she was quite nasty,when the divorce came through I sent her a letter saying that she wasn't the person I knew and loved anymore, that person was dead to me, I told her that if I ever saw her again I would blank her, she was dead to me.

I didn't speak to her for 7 years, and I did blank her if I saw her.

Then one day 5 months before my eldest sons graduation I saw her in town, again I blanked her but as I walked past her I thought about my sons graduation and decided it wouldn't be fair to him,so I called her name she stopped and we chatted,we went to a coffee shop and talked about my sons upcoming graduation and as we talked she started to cry.... then she said sorry, sorry for everything sorry for not being able to talk to me, sorry that she spoiled everything.

And she still loved me.......

I know I was never perfect but I was a good husband,father,provider and didn't deserve the way it all ended it's like you whole life has been torn away.

The guy she left me for abused her mainly mentally, she couldn't see her friends,had to walk with her head down, was made to feel cheap.other shit just not nice.

We talk now and again and have had another graduation day.

It is to late for us now,but I still love her.

So before any people judge about men or women playing away just be careful as you will never know all the reasons why this happens.

This is a site for swinging not to judge people for the decisions they make in life.

yes we can all have opinions but remember that's all they are opinions.

It's horrible for done to confess that but there's no.going back

Love and peace xx "

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