FabSwingers.com forum: what's wrong with a date ?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have enough time in my life for that shit. ...but then I'm not single

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I like this too. But swinging for me isn't just sexual but social too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I don't do this.

Meet for a drink or a coffee as a social yes, but I don't actually want to go out for meals etc.

Definitely a little too 'datey' for me.

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By *helbeeCouple
over a year ago

Nuneaton

I dont call it a date i call it a social. To me its not a date its just nsa fun. I like the social side the drink the conversation. Flirting. ...getting to know one another fun.. its the build up....it all adds to it..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't have enough time in my life for that shit. ...but then I'm not single

I am single and I don't have enough time either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?"

I prefer the cosy night in, some good films or a Netflix series to binge watch, either cook or order something cosy up on the sofa with some wine and giggle and laugh and not have to worry about anything.

Oh and then ice cream of course.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?"
I do yes and for many that's how it plays out ,it's civilised don't you think ,having said that I have been abused on this front in the past but I've always enjoyed it

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By *helbeeCouple
over a year ago

Nuneaton

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?"

your on the wrong site looking for a date. Its a swing site, dont want to offend

but nsa is nsa it is what it is...u can meet for a drink social side but as i do work an doing exams i havnt the time to have drinks meals etc as my career comes first. Also i have a life outside fabs

i choose to be single. ..dont want nsa from fabs turning into a date... thats hard work

at the same time i dont want wham bam thank you mam type of meet either..its balance an boundaries an i think saying a date is crossing a boundary

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By *ivnwcplCouple
over a year ago

liverpool

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?"

This would be nice if we had the time, but afraid we don't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?"

Maybe date is the wrong word? Just call it a social before playing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I dont call it a date i call it a social. To me its not a date its just nsa fun. I like the social side the drink the conversation. Flirting. ...getting to know one another fun.. its the build up....it all adds to it..

That's exactly what I meant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

Oh and then ice cream of course."

That sounds like my perfect date.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

your on the wrong site looking for a date. Its a swing site, dont want to offend

i choose to be single. ..dont want nsa from fabs turning into a date... thats hard work

at the same time i dont want wham bam thank you mam type of meet either..its balance an boundaries an i think saying a date is crossing a boundary "

Wrong use of words again I think ?

I should have called it a social with fun at the end. ?

I just like the build up sometimes.

I still go on meets and enjoy just turning up for fun

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

Maybe date is the wrong word? Just call it a social before playing.

Yep

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By *helbeeCouple
over a year ago

Nuneaton

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

your on the wrong site looking for a date. Its a swing site, dont want to offend

i choose to be single. ..dont want nsa from fabs turning into a date... thats hard work

at the same time i dont want wham bam thank you mam type of meet either..its balance an boundaries an i think saying a date is crossing a boundary

Wrong use of words again I think ?

I should have called it a social with fun at the end. ?

I just like the build up sometimes.

I still go on meets and enjoy just turning up for fun

dont call it a date its a social

but bear in mind sone people dont have the time to go for meals an make it a long social

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?"

No i don't like it and wouldn't do it.

Im here for swinging and not dates lol

Plus i don't do social meets as they don't interest me here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

This would be nice if we had the time, but afraid we don't

"
what do you do then takeaway coffee from McDonald's and make decision wether you like person your meeting walking down the road ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

your on the wrong site looking for a date. Its a swing site, dont want to offend

i choose to be single. ..dont want nsa from fabs turning into a date... thats hard work

at the same time i dont want wham bam thank you mam type of meet either..its balance an boundaries an i think saying a date is crossing a boundary "

Sorry but I disagree with you! If the op is on the wrong site then many of us are too - myself included!

I chose fab as opposed to a dating site because at the moment I'm not looking for a full time, monogamous relationship, I ADORE great sex (not the 8 minutes of fumbling and missionary you usually get in the 'real' world!) and I love the social side of swinging (clubs, parties, socials etc!)

None of that stops me from enjoying a meal out, cinema, theatre, day out etc with a meet - and I'd be far more likely to meet someone who offered great company followed by great sex than someone who just offered sex! The same applies when I meet couples! Drinks and giggles and getting to know each other equals a great threesome later!!

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By *ivnwcplCouple
over a year ago

liverpool

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

This would be nice if we had the time, but afraid we don't

what do you do then takeaway coffee from McDonald's and make decision wether you like person your meeting walking down the road ?

Wish we had time for that ...

We just check if they meet our criteria.

Not Bi or Bi Curious, Non-Smoker, have been photo and meet verified more than once, and recent, not 4 years ago,they must have photos on there profile, or can send photos also if they live down south or up Scotland then no point in long emails....just the common sense stuff.

So if they meet this criteria then we will start chatting with a view to a meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

your on the wrong site looking for a date. Its a swing site, dont want to offend

i choose to be single. ..dont want nsa from fabs turning into a date... thats hard work

at the same time i dont want wham bam thank you mam type of meet either..its balance an boundaries an i think saying a date is crossing a boundary

Sorry but I disagree with you! If the op is on the wrong site then many of us are too - myself included!

This works for me too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nooooo! When I was single it was too much of a headfuck!

Now I'm with the otherhalf it's just not appropriate.

Fuck and go has always been my thang !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've done this too, let guys take me out.

I'm more here for just sex and not much socialising but the right guys have convinced me to do more with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

This would be nice if we had the time, but afraid we don't

what do you do then takeaway coffee from McDonald's and make decision wether you like person your meeting walking down the road ?

Wish we had time for that ...

We just check if they meet our criteria.

So if they meet this criteria then we will start chatting with a view to a meet

"
ok so on that basis of no actual contact other than textual or pictorial you meet for sex ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

your on the wrong site looking for a date. Its a swing site, dont want to offend

i choose to be single. ..dont want nsa from fabs turning into a date... thats hard work

at the same time i dont want wham bam thank you mam type of meet either..its balance an boundaries an i think saying a date is crossing a boundary

Sorry but I disagree with you! If the op is on the wrong site then many of us are too - myself included!

This works for me too

"
yes and me I don't want one offs I want to like the woman and for her to like me which incidentally she will do ,none of this meet for sex and go ,go to a club if you want sex as a bodily function

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By *ivnwcplCouple
over a year ago

liverpool

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

This would be nice if we had the time, but afraid we don't

what do you do then takeaway coffee from McDonald's and make decision wether you like person your meeting walking down the road ?

Wish we had time for that ...

We just check if they meet our criteria.

So if they meet this criteria then we will start chatting with a view to a meet

ok so on that basis of no actual contact other than textual or pictorial you meet for sex ?

Correct .... Wont go to hell will I

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love a good social/date it's nice to get to know someone and if we enjoy each other's company then I don't see why not

even if it's just pizza night in forint of the TV with a good kiss n cuddle each to there own as the saying goes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's about the whole experience for me, not a quick fuck but then I'm single and I can do that, just wish a guy would be up for that, well the ones 'I go for' x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?"

Mr deviant does... I wouldn't ever do it with a meet.. and am happier now he doesn't with others as to many times women take it as more than just sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

Mr deviant does... I wouldn't ever do it with a meet.. and am happier now he doesn't with others as to many times women take it as more than just sex. "

Must admit I'd only be comfortable having a 'date' with (genuinely) single guys or both the lady and gent if it's a couple! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had a 'social with food' before and it was great. Not something I have much time for regularly (since I'm not single) but if we get on well it can be fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

your on the wrong site looking for a date. Its a swing site, dont want to offend

i choose to be single. ..dont want nsa from fabs turning into a date... thats hard work

at the same time i dont want wham bam thank you mam type of meet either..its balance an boundaries an i think saying a date is crossing a boundary

Sorry but I disagree with you! If the op is on the wrong site then many of us are too - myself included!

Ditto!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

your on the wrong site looking for a date. Its a swing site, dont want to offend

i choose to be single. ..dont want nsa from fabs turning into a date... thats hard work

at the same time i dont want wham bam thank you mam type of meet either..its balance an boundaries an i think saying a date is crossing a boundary

Sorry but I disagree with you! If the op is on the wrong site then many of us are too - myself included!

Ditto!"
leggy let me take you out for a social xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

your on the wrong site looking for a date. Its a swing site, dont want to offend

i choose to be single. ..dont want nsa from fabs turning into a date... thats hard work

at the same time i dont want wham bam thank you mam type of meet either..its balance an boundaries an i think saying a date is crossing a boundary

Sorry but I disagree with you! If the op is on the wrong site then many of us are too - myself included!

This works for me too

yes and me I don't want one offs I want to like the woman and for her to like me which incidentally she will do ,none of this meet for sex and go ,go to a club if you want sex as a bodily function

You do know that you can get to know someone without going on the whole date thing don't you? Please don't assume that those of us that don't want the dating scenario just fuck and go with anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

your on the wrong site looking for a date. Its a swing site, dont want to offend

i choose to be single. ..dont want nsa from fabs turning into a date... thats hard work

at the same time i dont want wham bam thank you mam type of meet either..its balance an boundaries an i think saying a date is crossing a boundary

Sorry but I disagree with you! If the op is on the wrong site then many of us are too - myself included!

Ditto!leggy let me take you out for a social xxx

Lol london is a bit far

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?"

Couldn't think of anything worse to be honest .

As we say on our profile , we don't do socials . We have neither the time or inclination to spend hours drinking , chatting , eating and so on with a potential meet . All of the socialising is what we do with vanilla friends , and there is no ulterior motive with them .

We meet people on here for sex , and although we may chat for a while first , by and large it's not long before we are all at it !

All to often in the past when we did do the whole social thing ( including clubs ) , the endless chatting and drinking would actually put us off wanting sex with potential playmates . The moment passed and the socialising became more important . Strange but true .....

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By *ivnwcplCouple
over a year ago

liverpool

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

your on the wrong site looking for a date. Its a swing site, dont want to offend

i choose to be single. ..dont want nsa from fabs turning into a date... thats hard work

at the same time i dont want wham bam thank you mam type of meet either..its balance an boundaries an i think saying a date is crossing a boundary

Sorry but I disagree with you! If the op is on the wrong site then many of us are too - myself included!

This works for me too

yes and me I don't want one offs I want to like the woman and for her to like me which incidentally she will do ,none of this meet for sex and go ,go to a club if you want sex as a bodily function

You do know that you can get to know someone without going on the whole date thing don't you? Please don't assume that those of us that don't want the dating scenario just fuck and go with anyone.

Thank you x

We always message and chat for a bit first, and if it's a couple we fems always chat first, so by the time we all meet we all have a rough idea what to expect, and if it's not what you expect when you do meet then just walk away

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By *ivnwcplCouple
over a year ago

liverpool

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

your on the wrong site looking for a date. Its a swing site, dont want to offend

i choose to be single. ..dont want nsa from fabs turning into a date... thats hard work

at the same time i dont want wham bam thank you mam type of meet either..its balance an boundaries an i think saying a date is crossing a boundary

Sorry but I disagree with you! If the op is on the wrong site then many of us are too - myself included!

Ditto!leggy let me take you out for a social xxx

Lol london is a bit far"

But he only wants a social, he's not interested in Sex

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By *ivinefoxWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

I like it too. I need time to get to know someone and feel relaxed in their company before I can have sex with them. Can't just fuck and go, that feels really cold and clinical to me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

your on the wrong site looking for a date. Its a swing site, dont want to offend

i choose to be single. ..dont want nsa from fabs turning into a date... thats hard work

at the same time i dont want wham bam thank you mam type of meet either..its balance an boundaries an i think saying a date is crossing a boundary

Sorry but I disagree with you! If the op is on the wrong site then many of us are too - myself included!

Ditto!leggy let me take you out for a social xxx

Lol london is a bit far"
I go to Sheffield arena all the time and like the Beautiful lady said I'm not interested in sex

I only want a social xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like it too. I need time to get to know someone and feel relaxed in their company before I can have sex with them. Can't just fuck and go, that feels really cold and clinical to me! "

Grrrrrrr I give up!

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I like dates.. Its just knowing that a date on here has the added excitement of possibly leading to a lot of bonus fun, with no remorse or over thought...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

Couldn't think of anything worse to be honest .

We meet people on here for sex , and although we may chat for a while first , by and large it's not long before we are all at it !

I agree with the 'moment passing' comment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

your on the wrong site looking for a date. Its a swing site, dont want to offend

i choose to be single. ..dont want nsa from fabs turning into a date... thats hard work

at the same time i dont want wham bam thank you mam type of meet either..its balance an boundaries an i think saying a date is crossing a boundary

Sorry but I disagree with you! If the op is on the wrong site then many of us are too - myself included!

Ditto!leggy let me take you out for a social xxx

Lol london is a bit farI go to Sheffield arena all the time and like the Beautiful lady said I'm not interested in sex

I only want a social xxx

Haha I'd have a social with you in Sheffield just wouldn't travel to london for sex or a social lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like dates.. Its just knowing that a date on here has the added excitement of possibly leading to a lot of bonus fun, with no remorse or over thought..."
I'm not into clubs but would love to come round and see your shoe collection xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...

You do know that you can get to know someone without going on the whole date thing don't you? Please don't assume that those of us that don't want the dating scenario just fuck and go with anyone.

I know what you mean.

But to be fair I couldn't give a flying fuck if people think I only do socials or I only do fuck n go or whatever really.

The people that I meet know what I do and don't do. And that's all that matters to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like it too. I need time to get to know someone and feel relaxed in their company before I can have sex with them. Can't just fuck and go, that feels really cold and clinical to me!

Grrrrrrr I give up!

But they're just saying that's how it feels to them, no-one is saying that's how it feels to everyone.

Personally I meet the way I want and don't give a shit that some choose to think people are insane for wanting a social meet first or not wanting a social meet first. I'm not meeting them so who cares.

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"I like it too. I need time to get to know someone and feel relaxed in their company before I can have sex with them. Can't just fuck and go, that feels really cold and clinical to me! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...

You do know that you can get to know someone without going on the whole date thing don't you? Please don't assume that those of us that don't want the dating scenario just fuck and go with anyone.

I know what you mean.

But to be fair I couldn't give a flying fuck if people think I only do socials or I only do fuck n go or whatever really.

The people that I meet know what I do and don't do. And that's all that matters to me.

"
a flying fuck scarlet you've been watching point break again x

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By *it of fun cplCouple
over a year ago

village between York and Hull

We like the date, the build up and anticipation all adds to the final outcome!

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By *penyoureyes2722Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

I love a meet that starts with food and drinks and ends up with breakfast.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like it too. I need time to get to know someone and feel relaxed in their company before I can have sex with them. Can't just fuck and go, that feels really cold and clinical to me!

Grrrrrrr I give up!

But they're just saying that's how it feels to them, no-one is saying that's how it feels to everyone.

I think it's more the assumption that sex without prolonged social time first is cold and clinical that irks us here .

It certainly isn't , and nor is it a simple bodily function ( as someone else described it ) .

And while it may be true that we wouldn't meet people who thought like that anyway , it's the implication on a public forum that we are somehow cold or treating sex as as something less than the socialites that is perplexing .

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By *helbeeCouple
over a year ago

Nuneaton

i dont do relationships an dating is too complicated for me an i find since newly divorced i dont want the constraints of a proper relationship.

too much hassle. prefer no strings easier

i do social meets drink chat etc in a neutral place , have a laugh an im generally more happy in life

i like my own space, independent an certainly not looking for a bf just a reg fbuddy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...

You do know that you can get to know someone without going on the whole date thing don't you? Please don't assume that those of us that don't want the dating scenario just fuck and go with anyone.

I know what you mean.

But to be fair I couldn't give a flying fuck if people think I only do socials or I only do fuck n go or whatever really.

The people that I meet know what I do and don't do. And that's all that matters to me.

I completely agree....I guess I'm just pointing out that these things don't have to be either one extreme or the other - There are lots of in betweens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like it too. I need time to get to know someone and feel relaxed in their company before I can have sex with them. Can't just fuck and go, that feels really cold and clinical to me!

Grrrrrrr I give up!

But they're just saying that's how it feels to them, no-one is saying that's how it feels to everyone.

I think it's more the assumption that sex without prolonged social time first is cold and clinical that irks us here .

It certainly isn't , and nor is it a simple bodily function ( as someone else described it ) .

But I see similar comments that people who do want a social first (or even several) should be on a dating site, are high maintenance, are wasting people's time - even your use of "the socialites" could be seen as derogatory if you're being precious about it.

I read the original comment as that person saying that it would feel cold and clinical to them; not that it was cold and clinical per se.

I don't get why anyone cares if they're so sure of their own approach and that approach works well for them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like it too. I need time to get to know someone and feel relaxed in their company before I can have sex with them. Can't just fuck and go, that feels really cold and clinical to me!

Grrrrrrr I give up!

But they're just saying that's how it feels to them, no-one is saying that's how it feels to everyone.

I think it's more the assumption that sex without prolonged social time first is cold and clinical that irks us here .

It certainly isn't , and nor is it a simple bodily function ( as someone else described it ) .

I read the original comment as that person saying that it would feel cold and clinical to them; not that it was cold and clinical per se.

I don't get why anyone cares if they're so sure of their own approach and that approach works well for them. "

So you would never point out that there is grey area when others are seeing black and white? Ok.

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By *ivinefoxWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

I wasn't accusing anyone else of being cold and clinical, what other people do is up to them. I feel nervous when I meet a new person so I need time to get to know them in order to feel relaxed with them. I also need to like them as a person. Of course I've had sex with strangers in a club but that feels totally different!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like it too. I need time to get to know someone and feel relaxed in their company before I can have sex with them. Can't just fuck and go, that feels really cold and clinical to me!

Grrrrrrr I give up!

But they're just saying that's how it feels to them, no-one is saying that's how it feels to everyone.

I think it's more the assumption that sex without prolonged social time first is cold and clinical that irks us here .

It certainly isn't , and nor is it a simple bodily function ( as someone else described it ) .

I read the original comment as that person saying that it would feel cold and clinical to them; not that it was cold and clinical per se.

I don't get why anyone cares if they're so sure of their own approach and that approach works well for them.

So you would never point out that there is grey area when others are seeing black and white? Ok.

Of course I would (I regularly do

) - but it was things like "grrrr I give up" which implied people weren't just pointing it out but were actually bothered by the views of others about their chosen meeting style.

Anyway, I'm just redressing the balance as I see it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all want different things - individual for us...

Some want socialising and sex - others of us just want the sex - or sex with one gender, and socialising with the other....

Which is why we have Profiles, where we can express our interests and desires!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We all want different things - individual for us...

Some want socialising and sex - others of us just want the sex - or sex with one gender, and socialising with the other....

Which is why we have Profiles, where we can express our interests and desires!

and some want something completely different every time they meet a different person, or is that just me

I've turned up at a hotel room door in my underwear under a coat to meet someone for the first time, and I've met someone else about three times socially before we ever managed sex. And everything in between.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like it too. I need time to get to know someone and feel relaxed in their company before I can have sex with them. Can't just fuck and go, that feels really cold and clinical to me!

Grrrrrrr I give up!

But they're just saying that's how it feels to them, no-one is saying that's how it feels to everyone.

I think it's more the assumption that sex without prolonged social time first is cold and clinical that irks us here .

It certainly isn't , and nor is it a simple bodily function ( as someone else described it ) .

I read the original comment as that person saying that it would feel cold and clinical to them; not that it was cold and clinical per se.

I don't get why anyone cares if they're so sure of their own approach and that approach works well for them.

So you would never point out that there is grey area when others are seeing black and white? Ok.

Of course I would (I regularly do

) - but it was things like "grrrr I give up" which implied people weren't just pointing it out but were actually bothered by the views of others about their chosen meeting style.

Anyway, I'm just redressing the balance as I see it. "

I need to remind myself that meaning doesn't come across via text.

I'm far from bothered what anyone thinks about the way I meet, and likewise I'm not one to criticise how anyone else does things .....which is why it does irk me a little when others feel they have to justify the way they do things, and even worse, do it by quoting the opposite extreme as the alternative.

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By *helbeeCouple
over a year ago

Nuneaton

i find im looking for different things sexy adventure

some times ive met up just for socials. arranged to meet a 2nd time

one time a guy asked me out for a meal an fun after

other times ive done roleplays bit of spice

its how i feel.an being single i have a lot more fun . an i love the nsa life style it may not suit everyone but it suits me.

I do tell the guy its just nsa an nothing more.

i like variety

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like it too. I need time to get to know someone and feel relaxed in their company before I can have sex with them. Can't just fuck and go, that feels really cold and clinical to me!

Grrrrrrr I give up!

But they're just saying that's how it feels to them, no-one is saying that's how it feels to everyone.

I think it's more the assumption that sex without prolonged social time first is cold and clinical that irks us here .

It certainly isn't , and nor is it a simple bodily function ( as someone else described it ) .

It's possibly because they want to feel superior. Fact is they are on an internet site looking for sex the same as all of us. So they ain't 'all that'.

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?"

The problem with the meal or even just drinks before a meet scenario is it could be construde as paying for sex.

Unless of cousre all parties pay their own way.

If you met a girl would she be obliged to have sex with you if you had paid for the meal, or would she feel obliged to have sex with you.

It opens a whole can of worms

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

It really depends on the circumstances. I am always happy to have a social or two with a new lady or couple before anything else happens. If the social side continues after we've started having sex that could be considered dating. Sometimes "friends with benefits" do end up enjoying date type activities together. And sometimes not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?"

I don't class that as a date though

for me going for a drink and meal with somebody I've met off here isn't date

to me a date isn't a certain act or event it's more about how you feel about who your with that makes it either a date or a pre shag meal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

I don't class that as a date though

for me going for a drink and meal with somebody I've met off here isn't date

to me a date isn't a certain act or event it's more about how you feel about who your with that makes it either a date or a pre shag meal

surely a date is called a date because two people fix a date to meet ,what happens on the date is between the datees xx

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

your on the wrong site looking for a date. Its a swing site, dont want to offend

i choose to be single. ..dont want nsa from fabs turning into a date... thats hard work

at the same time i dont want wham bam thank you mam type of meet either..its balance an boundaries an i think saying a date is crossing a boundary

Sorry but I disagree with you! If the op is on the wrong site then many of us are too - myself included!

This works for me too

yes and me I don't want one offs I want to like the woman and for her to like me which incidentally she will do ,none of this meet for sex and go ,go to a club if you want sex as a bodily function

You do know that you can get to know someone without going on the whole date thing don't you? Please don't assume that those of us that don't want the dating scenario just fuck and go with anyone.

this

and please dont assume the same with clubs...i attend clubs for the social aspect and the facilities aspect, its away from my home and it a safe environment.. sex, to me isn't just a bodily function..i connect and form friendships.with sexual chemistry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

your on the wrong site looking for a date. Its a swing site, dont want to offend

i choose to be single. ..dont want nsa from fabs turning into a date... thats hard work

at the same time i dont want wham bam thank you mam type of meet either..its balance an boundaries an i think saying a date is crossing a boundary

Sorry but I disagree with you! If the op is on the wrong site then many of us are too - myself included!

This works for me too

yes and me I don't want one offs I want to like the woman and for her to like me which incidentally she will do ,none of this meet for sex and go ,go to a club if you want sex as a bodily function

You do know that you can get to know someone without going on the whole date thing don't you? Please don't assume that those of us that don't want the dating scenario just fuck and go with anyone.

this

i do go on 'dates' occasionally but usually with a regular partner, who i've met before, or someone who's traveled a long way...if they arrive, and, are going to be hungry, its nice to meet them for dinner...i enjoy conversation and the whole package.. its still n.s.a. sex to me.. i can be fully engaged and detached at the same time, by enjoying our moment.. works for me..."
awww but Suzy you are poly which doesn't work for everyone in fact few I would say ,I like to be friends to and I like the conversation to flow and I love sex but wouldn't really be into going to a club and seeing you disappear with others and have sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

I don't class that as a date though

for me going for a drink and meal with somebody I've met off here isn't date

to me a date isn't a certain act or event it's more about how you feel about who your with that makes it either a date or a pre shag meal

surely a date is called a date because two people fix a date to meet ,what happens on the date is between the datees xx

Not to me

if I arranged a pre set time to go for a meal with my mum I wouldn't tell people I was going on a date with my mother

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

I don't class that as a date though

for me going for a drink and meal with somebody I've met off here isn't date

to me a date isn't a certain act or event it's more about how you feel about who your with that makes it either a date or a pre shag meal

surely a date is called a date because two people fix a date to meet ,what happens on the date is between the datees xx

Not to me

if I arranged a pre set time to go for a meal with my mum I wouldn't tell people I was going on a date with my mother

"
why not its a dinner date

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dinner date drink social call it what you will its nice to get to know who your likely and lucky enough to be intimate with at some later date and it helps relax things when you do hell yes

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By *ancpl05Couple
over a year ago

Bridgend

Absolutely agree, wish more men were that inventive in their emails to us !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't have enough time in my life for that shit. ...but then I'm not single

I don't have any spare time . Any that I get is spent wisely and not on strangers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For my socials I only meet them for a quick coffee, check that they look like their photos and seem like a nice guy who's not going to murder me if I meet him alone, then arrange a full meet afterwards. The whole things take less than 30mins. I'm only looking for NSA, no form of relationship so wouldnt want to spend too long on a social, it's just a safety precaution really nothing else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

I don't class that as a date though

for me going for a drink and meal with somebody I've met off here isn't date

to me a date isn't a certain act or event it's more about how you feel about who your with that makes it either a date or a pre shag meal

surely a date is called a date because two people fix a date to meet ,what happens on the date is between the datees xx

Not to me

if I arranged a pre set time to go for a meal with my mum I wouldn't tell people I was going on a date with my mother

why not its a dinner date

bugger off I'm not going on a date with my mum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We all want different things - individual for us...

Some want socialising and sex - others of us just want the sex - or sex with one gender, and socialising with the other....

Which is why we have Profiles, where we can express our interests and desires!

and some want something completely different every time they meet a different person, or is that just me

I'm with you all the way , through all your replies.

I too like the social , even if it's just sharing a bottle of wine and going through the flirting and the build up.

Would be nice if everyone's views were treated with respect..... Life would be oh so boring if we were all the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'm gonna get some stick but here goes ? please be respectful with your comments.

I love the whole 'going out on a date' thing. !

Arrange to meet for drinks, perhaps a meal and then fun.

Even meet a couple for the same ?

Do others like this too ?

I don't class that as a date though

for me going for a drink and meal with somebody I've met off here isn't date

to me a date isn't a certain act or event it's more about how you feel about who your with that makes it either a date or a pre shag meal

surely a date is called a date because two people fix a date to meet ,what happens on the date is between the datees xx

Not to me

if I arranged a pre set time to go for a meal with my mum I wouldn't tell people I was going on a date with my mother

why not its a dinner date

bugger off I'm not going on a date with my mum

"
Awwww she's your mum you love her so who better to go on a dinner date with x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Bloody hell, just got back from swimming and what a debate.!!

To clarify:

I regret calling it a date.!!!!

I enjoy no social 'turn up and Fuck meetings'

I also enjoy having a SOCIAL where you may have a drink and/or a meal with flirting and no sex.

I enjoy a SOCIAL where you meet up for a few drinks and perhaps a meal or no meal and then have sex.

My question was, does anyone else enjoy this. ?

I wasn't asking permission to do what feels good to me.

It could be acting out a fantasy ?

If anyone fancies going on a 'social' single or couple and then playing at the end if a spark is there, please message me.!!

He anyone fancies meeting up for sex, please message me.!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

nope we don't do the social side too often were are here for sex not waffle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would meet for a social but id not go for dinner... Or spend time cuddled up with a meet. To be honest for me, the more I get to know a potential meet the more chance of losing interest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes I like this too. But swinging for me isn't just sexual but social too."
i so agree

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

We have vanilla friends for socialising- for us swinging is entirely about sex and fulfilling our sexual fantasies. That's why we restrict our swinging to clubs - we can play there and walk away at the end if the evening without any complications, entanglements or misunderstandings.

Having said that we have met lots of nice people in the clubs that we are more than happy to chat and share a drink with, but in the club.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with the 'moment passing' comment.

Glad it's not just me then.

My otherhalf and I have had to make it one of our 'rules' if you wanna fuck em, cut the bloody chat!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with the 'moment passing' comment.

Glad it's not just me then.

My otherhalf and I have had to make it one of our 'rules' if you wanna fuck em, cut the bloody chat!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Risking to be unpopular here. I always meet in a public place first - not even first, it is just two people meeting for a drink and a chat. I have to like the guy and to know he likes me. I do not give any guarantees, so you can consider it a date. I do not have time for "meets" with complete strangers but am happy to meet and see if we want to remain strangers or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do like to be wooed

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By *ivinefoxWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

It's also a safety issue for me, and I can't know if I like someone enough to want to have sex with them until I've spent time with them!

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

"Risking to be unpopular here. I always meet in a public place first - not even first, it is just two people meeting for a drink and a chat. I have to like the guy and to know he likes me. I do not give any guarantees, so you can consider it a date. I do not have time for "meets" with complete strangers but am happy to meet and see if we want to remain strangers or not.

It's also a safety issue for me, and I can't know if I like someone enough to want to have sex with them until I've spent time with them!

This is why we play in clubs - you can see and talk to prospective partners and there is no embarrassment, awkwardness or accusations of time wasting if you say no thanks.

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