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cheating not swinging

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So I have had at least 3 men (and may I add a few woman I know are guilty of this toooooo) message me today and everyone had been married and there wife know nothing of them being on fab and meeting others for sex. This is to me cheating and not swinging. Am I the only one who sees it like this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, you're not the only one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People have their reasons for being on here, not our place to judge what is going on in someone's personal life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, you're not. Cheating is the antithesis of swinging, which involves the consent of all parties.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is no doubt it is cheating .

But it could also be classed as swinging when you consider swinging is NSA .

Those 'cheaters' could just be getting their kicks in a safer way by swinging . Far less likely to end up in a relationship by getting sex from swinging .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Clearly cheating, but we have decided to not get wound up by it any more, we just ignore and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This site is for everyone, don't reply to them if you don't wanna see them, simples lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have i'm not interested in cheaters on my profile. Some people respect that.

I'm not here for swinging either, but i don't wanna be a part of someone elses cheating. I don't care if they cheat and who with, don't want it to be me that's all.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

they are here to get laid, the same as swingers

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

and everyone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your not alone on this one at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't seen many cheaters claim to be swingers. Most are looking for "discreet" fucks, or NSA arrangements.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For what it's worth, I don't think I've ever seen anyone who is cheating claim it is the same thing as swinging at all. They're just using the site as a tool for their own ends, same as everyone here. There are plenty of non-cheaters who aren't swingers either. The site isn't full, there is room for everyone to just rub along and ignore those doing things they disagree with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For what it's worth, I don't think I've ever seen anyone who is cheating claim it is the same thing as swinging at all. They're just using the site as a tool for their own ends, same as everyone here. There are plenty of non-cheaters who aren't swingers either. The site isn't full, there is room for everyone to just rub along and ignore those doing things they disagree with. "
well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not into attached guys personally. Been there, done that. Always grateful when a guy tells me first and I just let them know I'm not interested and I don't let it bother me. As far as I'm concerned they can do as they please, it's their choice.

I don't like a lot of what other people on here do but I don't concern myself with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For what it's worth, I don't think I've ever seen anyone who is cheating claim it is the same thing as swinging at all. They're just using the site as a tool for their own ends, same as everyone here. There are plenty of non-cheaters who aren't swingers either. The site isn't full, there is room for everyone to just rub along and ignore those doing things they disagree with. "

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By *ythenshawefredMan
over a year ago

stockport

Yes it's cheating of course

My ideal of swinging is a couple swapping (please correct me if I'm wrong) if I'm correct surely anybody on here that isn't a couple or couples seeking singles irrespective of marital status isn't strictly swinging

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By *elshman52Man
over a year ago

North Wales

When I was married I didnt get involved in the scene as my ex wife didnt like the idea. She later had an affair which caused many arguments. She eventually left and moved in with this other man. I feel that swinging could help prevent this sort of thing from happening. However, only if both partners are happy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People have their reasons for being on here, not our place to judge what is going on in someone's personal life "

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

We're bound to find others here that don't match us, so it's better to just focus on the types of people you do want and to ignore the rest.

Is it better that fab is open to all? I think it probably is, as it increases choice and probability for people to find what and who they're looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For what it's worth, I don't think I've ever seen anyone who is cheating claim it is the same thing as swinging at all. They're just using the site as a tool for their own ends, same as everyone here. There are plenty of non-cheaters who aren't swingers either. The site isn't full, there is room for everyone to just rub along and ignore those doing things they disagree with. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone will have a reason for being here, its nobody else's business as to why. Nobody has to "swing" with anyone they don't want to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This site is for everyone, don't reply to them if you don't wanna see them, simples lol."

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich


"So I have had at least 3 men (and may I add a few woman I know are guilty of this toooooo) message me today and everyone had been married and there wife know nothing of them being on fab and meeting others for sex. This is to me cheating and not swinging. Am I the only one who sees it like this. "

Only couples (attached somehow) are true swingers. You, like us cheaters, are here for sex in a swinging world.

WE help make other peoples dreams/fantasies become a reality...

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

We don't ask for any details from the people we play with.

If they volunteer the information that is up to them.

We are here to meet others who are looking for good NSA fun, if they are cheating on their husband or wife that is for their conscience.

However, we have found that is why some use hotels for meets and prefer not to meet in hotels as we do not want to play with someone who is feeling guilty they are cheating on their partner.

It spoils the flow of the meet.

On the other hand we have played with others whilst the partner is there watching and they have not been able to play as they feel they are being unfaithful even when the partner encourages them to play.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a lot on this site is swinging and people may use the site as they wish. You can politely decline anyone who isn't what you are looking for or delete and block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not a lot on this site is swinging and people may use the site as they wish. You can politely decline anyone who isn't what you are looking for or delete and block. "

as long as people can make an informed choice about who they wish to meet then live and let live

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I have had at least 3 men (and may I add a few woman I know are guilty of this toooooo) message me today and everyone had been married and there wife know nothing of them being on fab and meeting others for sex. This is to me cheating and not swinging. Am I the only one who sees it like this. "

are tvs swingers then, two men meeting each other, albeit dressed as women, is that swinging?

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

In my mind, they are clearly different. Swinging is a form of ethical non-monogamy. The "ethical" part means that everyone know what is happening and is consenting to if. If someone is cheating, then their partner/spouse doesnt know what is happening and isn't consenting to it.

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge


"For what it's worth, I don't think I've ever seen anyone who is cheating claim it is the same thing as swinging at all. They're just using the site as a tool for their own ends, same as everyone here. There are plenty of non-cheaters who aren't swingers either. The site isn't full, there is room for everyone to just rub along and ignore those doing things they disagree with. "

Is it wrong for swingers to want a site to meet other swingers?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We'd consider it cheating, but not for us to judge as has been said everyone free to make their own choices.

We believe that sex is sex and love is love, part of love for us is honesty, so as not to be hypocritical, we would only play with others who either don't have a partner or who's partner knows and has given consent, not that that's generally an issue as we're only actively looking for other couples, which kind of implies mutual consent.

What everyone else gets up to is none of our business, it doesn't involve us.

Having said that of course people will lie to get what the want which shows a complete lack of respect and isn't cool. Would much prefer people to be upfront about their partner not knowing than to say they do or pretend to be single.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For what it's worth, I don't think I've ever seen anyone who is cheating claim it is the same thing as swinging at all. They're just using the site as a tool for their own ends, same as everyone here. There are plenty of non-cheaters who aren't swingers either. The site isn't full, there is room for everyone to just rub along and ignore those doing things they disagree with. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not a lot on this site is swinging and people may use the site as they wish. You can politely decline anyone who isn't what you are looking for or delete and block.

as long as people can make an informed choice about who they wish to meet then live and let live "
very true

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I honestly don't care what other people do as long as they don't involve me. Once they post on open forums asking for opinions or justifying their actions I consider that I'm justified in putting my two pennorth in but until then I'm more than happy for people to do what they want.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"I honestly don't care what other people do as long as they don't involve me. Once they post on open forums asking for opinions or justifying their actions I consider that I'm justified in putting my two pen north in but until then I'm more than happy for people to do what they want."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I honestly don't care what other people do as long as they don't involve me. Once they post on open forums asking for opinions or justifying their actions I consider that I'm justified in putting my two pennorth in but until then I'm more than happy for people to do what they want."

It's absurd to me when people talk about it publicly, then request to not be judged or expect approval of their actions as they were honest about it.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey


"For what it's worth, I don't think I've ever seen anyone who is cheating claim it is the same thing as swinging at all. They're just using the site as a tool for their own ends, same as everyone here. There are plenty of non-cheaters who aren't swingers either. The site isn't full, there is room for everyone to just rub along and ignore those doing things they disagree with.

Is it wrong for swingers to want a site to meet other swingers? "

People would have to agree on what makes

someone a 'proper' swingers first.

Personally I think there is plenty of room for everyone on the same site.

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge


"For what it's worth, I don't think I've ever seen anyone who is cheating claim it is the same thing as swinging at all. They're just using the site as a tool for their own ends, same as everyone here. There are plenty of non-cheaters who aren't swingers either. The site isn't full, there is room for everyone to just rub along and ignore those doing things they disagree with.

Is it wrong for swingers to want a site to meet other swingers?

People would have to agree on what makes

someone a 'proper' swingers first.

Personally I think there is plenty of room for everyone on the same site.

"

I would prefer a site of like minded people. In the same way that some gay people like gay bars.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For what it's worth, I don't think I've ever seen anyone who is cheating claim it is the same thing as swinging at all. They're just using the site as a tool for their own ends, same as everyone here. There are plenty of non-cheaters who aren't swingers either. The site isn't full, there is room for everyone to just rub along and ignore those doing things they disagree with.

Is it wrong for swingers to want a site to meet other swingers? "

Not at all. And this IS a site to meet other swingers. I'm not sure how the presence of other people takes away from that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For what it's worth, I don't think I've ever seen anyone who is cheating claim it is the same thing as swinging at all. They're just using the site as a tool for their own ends, same as everyone here. There are plenty of non-cheaters who aren't swingers either. The site isn't full, there is room for everyone to just rub along and ignore those doing things they disagree with.

Is it wrong for swingers to want a site to meet other swingers?

Not at all. And this IS a site to meet other swingers. I'm not sure how the presence of other people takes away from that?"

It adds to it for us , we like meeting TVs , single guys , single women and couples

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge


"

Not at all. And this IS a site to meet other swingers. I'm not sure how the presence of other people takes away from that?"

Again I go back to the gay bar analogy, if you took 20 straight people to a gay bar, how long would you be welcome for?

Also its common to find threads on here where a couple is struggling to find and extra woman for an FFM. I would say that having lots of women on here who are not looking for that makes it harder to find the ones who are.

Or for couples who play separately, say the man is looking to play with a single woman, the majority of women on here aren't looking for that. Many wouldn't play with an attached man even if he had permission, so that would make it a lot harder for him to find someone who would.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Not at all. And this IS a site to meet other swingers. I'm not sure how the presence of other people takes away from that?

Again I go back to the gay bar analogy, if you took 20 straight people to a gay bar, how long would you be welcome for?

Also its common to find threads on here where a couple is struggling to find and extra woman for an FFM. I would say that having lots of women on here who are not looking for that makes it harder to find the ones who are.

Or for couples who play separately, say the man is looking to play with a single woman, the majority of women on here aren't looking for that. Many wouldn't play with an attached man even if he had permission, so that would make it a lot harder for him to find someone who would."

Aren't filters your answer? Restrict contact to couples seeking couples only?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Live and let live. If someone doesn't float your boat for whatever reason, don't stress about it, block and move on. Simples!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not a lot on this site is swinging and people may use the site as they wish. You can politely decline anyone who isn't what you are looking for or delete and block.

as long as people can make an informed choice about who they wish to meet then live and let live "

I don't think we need to inform everyone of everything. That wouldn't be no strings for me. Where being married is concerned there could be a lot of repercussions. I've had a woman ring my phone saying I'd met her husband. She described him and told me where he lived but I had no idea who he was and never heard again. A different spouse could have reacted differently.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I honestly don't care what other people do as long as they don't involve me. Once they post on open forums asking for opinions or justifying their actions I consider that I'm justified in putting my two pennorth in but until then I'm more than happy for people to do what they want."

That is fair enough but some people want to add more than their two penneth. Some can be quite nasty about it too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Everyone will have a reason for being here, its nobody else's business as to why. Nobody has to "swing" with anyone they don't want to."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not a lot on this site is swinging and people may use the site as they wish. You can politely decline anyone who isn't what you are looking for or delete and block.

as long as people can make an informed choice about who they wish to meet then live and let live

I don't think we need to inform everyone of everything. That wouldn't be no strings for me. Where being married is concerned there could be a lot of repercussions. I've had a woman ring my phone saying I'd met her husband. She described him and told me where he lived but I had no idea who he was and never heard again. A different spouse could have reacted differently. "

Fair point. I guess I was saying that, given some/many people do not wish to meet 'cheaters' then disclosing relationship status on a profile or very early message allows them to make that informed choice about whether to proceed or not

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By *ythenshawefredMan
over a year ago

stockport


"Not a lot on this site is swinging and people may use the site as they wish. You can politely decline anyone who isn't what you are looking for or delete and block.

as long as people can make an informed choice about who they wish to meet then live and let live

I don't think we need to inform everyone of everything. That wouldn't be no strings for me. Where being married is concerned there could be a lot of repercussions. I've had a woman ring my phone saying I'd met her husband. She described him and told me where he lived but I had no idea who he was and never heard again. A different spouse could have reacted differently.

Fair point. I guess I was saying that, given some/many people do not wish to meet 'cheaters' then disclosing relationship status on a profile or very early message allows them to make that informed choice about whether to proceed or not

"

That just brings honesty/liars as the issue and won't really change much

Fact is the OP said about a number of people said they are and has made out that's a bad thing the alternative would be they didn't and that's better somehow?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Not at all. And this IS a site to meet other swingers. I'm not sure how the presence of other people takes away from that?

Again I go back to the gay bar analogy, if you took 20 straight people to a gay bar, how long would you be welcome for?

Also its common to find threads on here where a couple is struggling to find and extra woman for an FFM. I would say that having lots of women on here who are not looking for that makes it harder to find the ones who are.

Or for couples who play separately, say the man is looking to play with a single woman, the majority of women on here aren't looking for that. Many wouldn't play with an attached man even if he had permission, so that would make it a lot harder for him to find someone who would."

Fair enough. But I still don't think the existence of non-swingers on the site makes "real" swingers less welcome. If all the people who didn't fit your criteria disappeared, there wouldn't be any more people who did, there would just be a lower total.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are all here top have fun , cheaters and non cheaters its all the same , some even get turned on more by the cheating sex partners than the non cheating ones .

Lets all make love and enjoy our free God given body parts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not a lot on this site is swinging and people may use the site as they wish. You can politely decline anyone who isn't what you are looking for or delete and block.

as long as people can make an informed choice about who they wish to meet then live and let live

I don't think we need to inform everyone of everything. That wouldn't be no strings for me. Where being married is concerned there could be a lot of repercussions. I've had a woman ring my phone saying I'd met her husband. She described him and told me where he lived but I had no idea who he was and never heard again. A different spouse could have reacted differently.

Fair point. I guess I was saying that, given some/many people do not wish to meet 'cheaters' then disclosing relationship status on a profile or very early message allows them to make that informed choice about whether to proceed or not

"

Yeah, it's important to me. I don't wait to be informed and just have it on my profile, i'm know some think it's ok to not tell me though, and theoretically i suppose it is ok because i was unaware, but i'd appreciate for them to respect what i want and not have me be a part of something i don't want to be a part of, for my own peace of mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What other people do is on their conscience....I won't be party to deceiving anyone. It's a crap thing to do IMO.

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