FabSwingers.com forum: Stated preferences that really put you off?

By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago

North Cambs

Just wondering what preferences stated by people on here really put you off the idea of contacting them or trying to meet up with them?

For me, its all these women/couples who state that they are looking for black cock, or, often as not BBC.

Its not that (quite obviously I do not qualify on either colour or scale (for the latter anyhow), but more that I am put off by anyone that has such narrow sexual preferences. Always makes me think they must be a bit narrow minded and actually quite unadventuress in their bedroom antics.

What about you?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

No bi men is quite often seen.

No twats from Brighton, less so.

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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago

North Cambs

"No bi men is quite often seen.

No twats from Brighton, less so.

I quite often see the latter...infact I even state it on my profile...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's what stating preferences is all about - to deter people that don't fit them making contact.

So, the fact you're put off, is good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"BAREBACK FUN" a deffo no no and instant turn off for us

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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago

North Cambs

"That's what stating preferences is all about - to deter people that don't fit them making contact.

So, the fact you're put off, is good "

True...but, what I state about why I am put off, and wouldn't even entertain meeting anyone like that (if they were to decide they liked the look of me despite their usual preference) still holds true...

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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago

North Cambs

""BAREBACK FUN" a deffo no no and instant turn off for us "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's what stating preferences is all about - to deter people that don't fit them making contact.

So, the fact you're put off, is good "

Exactly this!! I'm glad my preferences put people off contacting me. I'd hate to be yet smother single female moaning about being swamped by messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's what stating preferences is all about - to deter people that don't fit them making contact.

So, the fact you're put off, is good

Exactly this!! I'm glad my preferences put people off contacting me. I'd hate to be yet smother single female moaning about being swamped by messages."

I shall take my narrow mindedness and be totally unadventurous with those that don't judge me on my preferences.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our preferences are clear to see but nobody takes any notice anyway!

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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago

North Cambs

"That's what stating preferences is all about - to deter people that don't fit them making contact.

So, the fact you're put off, is good

Exactly this!! I'm glad my preferences put people off contacting me. I'd hate to be yet smother single female moaning about being swamped by messages.

I shall take my narrow mindedness and be totally unadventurous with those that don't judge me on my preferences.

Ouch...

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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago

North Cambs

"Our preferences are clear to see but nobody takes any notice anyway!

I know...sorry about that

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Just wondering what preferences stated by people on here really put you off the idea of contacting them or trying to meet up with them?

For me, its all these women/couples who state that they are looking for black cock, or, often as not BBC.

What about you?"

And you don't consider it a little narrow minded to judge people on their preferences?

I'm happy that people decide what they want to look for just the same way I do. The fact that their profile is clear saves me contacting someone who isn't interesting in what I have to offer.

We all have different views on what's adventurous in the bedroom antics department and accepting that we don't fit in the same things is part of what makes sex adventurous. How would you learn new things or try different kinks if we were all the same?

Live and let live and try not to criticise other people's choices when they have no relevance to you. Negativity is never attractive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any variation of "love to lick pussy"

Mainly because I'm not a massive fan of having mine licked

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Our preferences mean we aren't right for lots of people, they're designed to make it easier for us and them. People with preferences different to ours don't put us off but we would only contact them platonically (as quite a few do us).

There's too much being superior towards others due to preference in the world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My main preference is for guys over 33 as i have kids in their 20's xx but the amount of abuse i get for it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was never sure if to put in the box about my preference but then I looked at some others and decided to be open from the start what I liked and didn't like, I think it's best to be straight from the get go x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any variation of "love to lick pussy"

Mainly because I'm not a massive fan of having mine licked"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gang bangs,taking photos/videoing,cam,role play.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So it's ok for people to have strict preferences on their profile but not ok for people to comment on them?

Why do people always assume they are being judged? I read the OP as merely asking a question. Discussing what people think.

So much for free thought and free speech.

I guess saying this makes me judgemental. Oh well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just wondering what preferences stated by people on here really put you off the idea of contacting them or trying to meet up with them?

For me, its all these women/couples who state that they are looking for black cock, or, often as not BBC.

What about you?"

I go off the whole tone of the profile. The text, the way it's written, preferences, demands etc etc.

Happy to meet people that have very specific preferences, or no stated bou daries at all. It just depends on how they come across with it.

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By *urvyemmaWoman
over a year ago

wigan/bolton

"Any variation of "love to lick pussy"

Mainly because I'm not a massive fan of having mine licked

People who have no preferences put me off...'I like fat, thin, old, young, male, female...'

Hmmm....doesn't really make you feel special!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stating preferences doesn't put me off - but an arrogant/complaining profile does! X

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"So it's ok for people to have strict preferences on their profile but not ok for people to comment on them?

Why do people always assume they are being judged? I read the OP as merely asking a question. Discussing what people think.

So much for free thought and free speech.

I guess saying this makes me judgemental. Oh well. "

it does.......

as judgemental as the people who are being criticised for being as judgemental.... possibly, not my call to make...

some will think so... some wont....

they will do that by making a "judgement"..... damn there is that word again!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So it's ok for people to have strict preferences on their profile but not ok for people to comment on them?

Why do people always assume they are being judged? I read the OP as merely asking a question. Discussing what people think.

So much for free thought and free speech.

I guess saying this makes me judgemental. Oh well. "

In answer to your first point - no it's not ok. I've never understood why people feel the need to comment on other people's preferences. I'm not hurting anyone by having a preference. I like what I like because I do. That is all anyone needs to know. And in answer to your other point, of course the OP is being judgemental by saying that those with preferences are "narrowminded and unadventurous".

If the OP was merely asking a question then he should have left it as "what preferences put you off contacting people?" (to which the answer is surely, "those which exclude me/don't match my interests"?)

The OP is perfectly entitled to state his opinions, just as I am entitled to challenge those opinions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are all allowed to have a preferance ..... Mine is no men. Im gay and ove listed my likes and dislikes on my profile... Not that many read it.

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By *issy louWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire Moorlands

Men who like to wear women's undies - total turn off for me I'm afraid

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"So it's ok for people to have strict preferences on their profile but not ok for people to comment on them?

Why do people always assume they are being judged? I read the OP as merely asking a question. Discussing what people think.

So much for free thought and free speech.

I guess saying this makes me judgemental. Oh well. "

I picked up on the 'narrow minded/not adventurous' chat as being a bit judgemental in my view. I'm happy to stick by that.

You can ask the question by all means but there's ways of wording it so as not to make out as though there's something wrong with people making those choices. Why shouldn't people choose what suits them? You have, I have, so has the OP.

Free speech is allowed by all as demonstrated here. We're having a very civilised chatter about stuff. It's not personal, it's grown up and all good. People's opinions differ. It's perfectly normal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What someone else's preferences is upto them unless happen to be compatible. Don't like bi men fair enough on to the next, not looking for couples onto the next. The only time will have a comment to make is if feel it's being discriminatory in any way like if said 'no bi men everyone knows their riddled with dieases'

Everyone is different and that's a good thing because otherwise there would probably be no need to swing everything would be unadventurous

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer people stating a preference, I know that way it's not going to waste our time contacting them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stated preferences don't put me off, but sometimes the way they're stated does.

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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago

North Cambs

"So it's ok for people to have strict preferences on their profile but not ok for people to comment on them?

Why do people always assume they are being judged? I read the OP as merely asking a question. Discussing what people think.

So much for free thought and free speech.

I guess saying this makes me judgemental. Oh well. "

Thank you Scarlett

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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago

North Cambs

"So it's ok for people to have strict preferences on their profile but not ok for people to comment on them?

Why do people always assume they are being judged? I read the OP as merely asking a question. Discussing what people think.

So much for free thought and free speech.

I guess saying this makes me judgemental. Oh well.

I picked up on the 'narrow minded/not adventurous' chat as being a bit judgemental in my view. I'm happy to stick by that.

Free speech is allowed by all as demonstrated here. We're having a very civilised chatter about stuff. It's not personal, it's grown up and all good. People's opinions differ. It's perfectly normal.

I do think that people who only enjoy certain things in terms of what they do and what they like are sexually unadventurous...just like people who always choose the same things on a menu...they too are unadventurous with food.

There is nothing wrong with the 'I know what I like and I like what I know' philosophy, but in terms of the type of sex I enjoy most and the people I tend to have it with, these people of not for me. This is not a judgement, it is an observation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guys who claim to be Dom put me off

Guys who state they like hard fucking/rough sex put me off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The looking for VWE one. The realisation that here are genuine 10"+ cocks must be a very slim chance to find one lol.

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By *rish_And_BlondieCouple
over a year ago

Liverpool and Ireland

I'm all for the don't knock it until you've tried it attitude. I could never claim to only want a specific thing or trait when it's impossible to have tried every thing available.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"No bi men is quite often seen.

No twats from Brighton, less so.

I quite often see the latter...infact I even state it on my profile...

Damn! I looked!

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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago

North Cambs

"I'm all for the don't knock it until you've tried it attitude. I could never claim to only want a specific thing or trait when it's impossible to have tried every thing available. "

I agree whole heartedly...and this certainly me that there are still many things that I am absolutely sure that I want...or some people

...the fun is not knowing exactly what you might get up to with them, or how certain things will feel with that individual/s

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The age thing puts me off...if you dont want people over you age ranges just filter them out...or younger come to that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess if you're going to assume that the only sexual contact people have is fab related then the OPs observations would appear to be correct.

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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago

North Cambs

"No bi men is quite often seen.

No twats from Brighton, less so.

I quite often see the latter...infact I even state it on my profile...

Damn! I looked!

Haha...gotcha

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Observations are great... people are utterly fascinating.

I like what I like and I know what I like when I see it so I tend to steer clear of specific demands... I just keep a list of ideals. It means I'm not closed off to new experiences and can change my mind as and when the mood tickles me rather than have someone respond with 'but your profile says x'. I'm fickle. I'm happy with that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So it's ok for people to have strict preferences on their profile but not ok for people to comment on them?

Why do people always assume they are being judged? I read the OP as merely asking a question. Discussing what people think.

So much for free thought and free speech.

I guess saying this makes me judgemental. Oh well.

I picked up on the 'narrow minded/not adventurous' chat as being a bit judgemental in my view. I'm happy to stick by that.

Free speech is allowed by all as demonstrated here. We're having a very civilised chatter about stuff. It's not personal, it's grown up and all good. People's opinions differ. It's perfectly normal.

You will think I am narrow minded and sexually unadventurous due to my preferences. (If you knew what they are.

)

I'm ok with that though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Observations are great... people are utterly fascinating.

I need to change my username to FuckingFickle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm all for the don't knock it until you've tried it attitude. I could never claim to only want a specific thing or trait when it's impossible to have tried every thing available.

I agree whole heartedly...and this certainly me that there are still many things that I am absolutely sure that I want...or some people

...the fun is not knowing exactly what you might get up to with them, or how certain things will feel with that individual/s

Some people know what they like though.

For all you know, they could have tried many different people/things over the course of their sexual lives - thus coming to conclusions regards what they prefer. Informed choices and decisions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I guess if you're going to assume that the only sexual contact people have is fab related then the OPs observations would appear to be correct. "

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

One man's narrow minded and adventurous is another's depraved and kinky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm all for the don't knock it until you've tried it attitude. I could never claim to only want a specific thing or trait when it's impossible to have tried every thing available.

I agree whole heartedly...and this certainly me that there are still many things that I am absolutely sure that I want...or some people

...the fun is not knowing exactly what you might get up to with them, or how certain things will feel with that individual/s

I'm not sure how your argument now relates to your specific example you highlighted in your op. You have no idea how adventurous I can be with a black guy

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

actually, technically its not an observation... its a presumption you made

the presumption is flawed mind you... but such is life.... people will throw out an "observation" as you did and slowly but surely draw it back in as to no look bad when people disagree....

and so the backtrack begins.......

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I need to change my username to FuckingFickle.

FabulouslyFuckingFickle?

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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago

North Cambs

actually, technically its not an observation... its a presumption you made

the presumption is flawed mind you... but such is life.... people will throw out an "observation" as you did and slowly but surely draw it back in as to no look bad when people disagree....

and so the backtrack begins.......

I am certainly not back tracking...I stated why a certain 'preference' when stated on a profile puts me off...right or wrong, it is the impression that it gives me (which I explained) and I stand by that. It is perhaps wrong to assume or to generalize but, we all do to some extent. Hence why I am put off encounters with what I assume to be a particular type of person on here.

No back tracking going on here what so ever...just clarification and justification...and the latter is not really requied anyhow. Freedom of speech and freedom to feel and think what I like...just like everone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blank Profiles - Have a got a clue what they want or on the other hand does that mean they have no preferences ????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need to change my username to FuckingFickle.

FabulouslyFuckingFickle?

Heck no. I'm far too lazy to type all those letters every time I want to log in.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I need to change my username to FuckingFickle.

FabulouslyFuckingFickle?

Heck no. I'm far too lazy to type all those letters every time I want to log in.

Thankfully my phone remembers it for me else I really would be fucked... and not in a good way!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When people say they want to push my boundaries. No thanks. I like my boundaries where they are love. Oh and rope play. Not in the slightest bit interested in a stranger tying me up.

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By *qua vitaeWoman
over a year ago

Shropshire/Midlands

Other people's preferences doesn't put me off. It's their right and it stops me from wasting my time contacting them if we don't match!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's what stating preferences is all about - to deter people that don't fit them making contact.

So, the fact you're put off, is good "

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By *otlerCouple
over a year ago

Newbury

bi women and men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I'm a happy slut that's me doing my observations

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not looking for single guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just wondering what preferences stated by people on here really put you off the idea of contacting them or trying to meet up with them?

For me, its all these women/couples who state that they are looking for black cock, or, often as not BBC.

What about you?

And you don't consider it a little narrow minded to judge people on their preferences?

I'm happy that people decide what they want to look for just the same way I do. The fact that their profile is clear saves me contacting someone who isn't interesting in what I have to offer.

Live and let live and try not to criticise other people's choices when they have no relevance to you. Negativity is never attractive. "

Who's judging? I don't find the mindset of a man who likes gang bangs attractive. I'm not saying it's wrong. Why is every comment on here pulled apart for being judgemental? We have to make judgements,it doesn't mean we are being negative or putting people down. I don't like a lot of shit on here,no one likes everything and has a right to say so. If people take offence because they're fragile egos can't take it they shouldn't be here.

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By *otlerCouple
over a year ago

Newbury

"Just wondering what preferences stated by people on here really put you off the idea of contacting them or trying to meet up with them?

For me, its all these women/couples who state that they are looking for black cock, or, often as not BBC.

What about you?

And you don't consider it a little narrow minded to judge people on their preferences?

I'm happy that people decide what they want to look for just the same way I do. The fact that their profile is clear saves me contacting someone who isn't interesting in what I have to offer.

Live and let live and try not to criticise other people's choices when they have no relevance to you. Negativity is never attractive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In your example of not finding men who like gangbangs attractive you weren't being judgemental. If you had said you don't like men who like gang bangs because they are all just desperate for sex, that would be being judgemental. No one is disputing peoples right to say things, but why can't some people do that without passing judgement on the way someone else behaves. Yes I took offence at being judged to be narrowminded and unadventurous because I have a preference for black guys. I don't have a fragile ego either. As it happens, there aren't many women that wouldn't bat an eyelid when their husband tells them they are bisexual and like to dress in women's underwear so to be called narrow minded just makes me

. So thank you but I will stay on here and I will speak out when I think people are making unfair assumptions and judgements, thank you very much.

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By *eovilcouple76Couple
over a year ago

yeovil

"Any variation of "love to lick pussy"

Mainly because I'm not a massive fan of having mine licked"

Same for me !!

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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago

North Cambs

. So thank you but I will stay on here and I will speak out when I think people are making unfair assumptions and judgements, thank you very much."

Actually if you look back at my OP you will see that I said 'narrow sexual tastes'...not narrow minded....a huge difference, and not judgemental at all!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just wondering what preferences stated by people on here really put you off the idea of contacting them or trying to meet up with them?

For me, its all these women/couples who state that they are looking for black cock, or, often as not BBC.

What about you?"

People who say they're the best at something. Where's your evidence? Show me statistics proving that this a genuine provable statement

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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago

North Cambs

. So thank you but I will stay on here and I will speak out when I think people are making unfair assumptions and judgements, thank you very much.

Actually if you look back at my OP you will see that I said 'narrow sexual tastes'...not narrow minded....a huge difference, and not judgemental at all!"

Sorry...I stand corrected..in the next sentence I did use the term 'narrow minded'...perhaps that was an ill chosen term and I do in fact apologise if it caused offence...badly worded

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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago

North Cambs

"Just wondering what preferences stated by people on here really put you off the idea of contacting them or trying to meet up with them?

For me, its all these women/couples who state that they are looking for black cock, or, often as not BBC.

What about you?

People who say they're the best at something. Where's your evidence? Show me statistics proving that this a genuine provable statement"

Who said anything about being 'the best' at anything??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

. So thank you but I will stay on here and I will speak out when I think people are making unfair assumptions and judgements, thank you very much.

Actually if you look back at my OP you will see that I said 'narrow sexual tastes'...not narrow minded....a huge difference, and not judgemental at all!

Sorry...I stand corrected..in the next sentence I did use the term 'narrow minded'...perhaps that was an ill chosen term and I do in fact apologise if it caused offence...badly worded

I did think it uncharacteristic of you to say it that way fox. Nothing to be done about it now though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

. So thank you but I will stay on here and I will speak out when I think people are making unfair assumptions and judgements, thank you very much.

Actually if you look back at my OP you will see that I said 'narrow sexual tastes'...not narrow minded....a huge difference, and not judgemental at all!"

Always makes you think they are narrow minded and unadventurous. Your words in the op.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Always makes me think they must be a bit narrow minded and actually quite unadventuress in their bedroom antics.

And you don't consider it a little narrow minded to judge people on their preferences?

I'm assuming that was directed at me since you quoted me so I'll answer the best I can.

I've chopped up both posts now but my first comment wasn't pulling apart anything. I asked a question of the OP which he's since answered.

I'm not fragile or indeed offended. I just figure that too often we all criticise other people for their choices (the irony is not lost here) and I don't think it's okay to say that people are narrow minded or unadventurous because they want specific things. We all get to choose what we want. I don't give a hoot if you want to dress up in bondage gear while you shove an apple up your bum. That's your choice entirely. I might quite like to watch for comedy value but because my tastes don't match yours it doesn't make either of us narrow minded or unadventurous. That's simply all I was getting at.

Hope that makes sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just wondering what preferences stated by people on here really put you off the idea of contacting them or trying to meet up with them?

For me, its all these women/couples who state that they are looking for black cock, or, often as not BBC.

What about you?

People who say they're the best at something. Where's your evidence? Show me statistics proving that this a genuine provable statement

Who said anything about being 'the best' at anything??

I have seen a few profiles stating that the user gives the best oral, or guarantees you won't leave dissatisfied. Not veri's, but actual profiles and messages. Big turn off for me. Whether it's justified or not, I would prefer a person who does not give the impression of an egomaniac

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"That's what stating preferences is all about - to deter people that don't fit them making contact.

So, the fact you're put off, is good

Exactly this!! I'm glad my preferences put people off contacting me. I'd hate to be yet smother single female moaning about being swamped by messages.

I shall take my narrow mindedness and be totally unadventurous with those that don't judge me on my preferences.

Ouch..."

You asked for that.

You don't see the irony in your post do you?

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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago

North Cambs

"Just wondering what preferences stated by people on here really put you off the idea of contacting them or trying to meet up with them?

For me, its all these women/couples who state that they are looking for black cock, or, often as not BBC.

What about you?

People who say they're the best at something. Where's your evidence? Show me statistics proving that this a genuine provable statement

Who said anything about being 'the best' at anything??

I see...and thanks for your earlier comment re..uncharacteristic of me...I try to be pretty fair minded and non judgemental whenever possible

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Just wondering what preferences stated by people on here really put you off the idea of contacting them or trying to meet up with them?

For me, its all these women/couples who state that they are looking for black cock, or, often as not BBC.

What about you?

And you don't consider it a little narrow minded to judge people on their preferences?

I'm happy that people decide what they want to look for just the same way I do. The fact that their profile is clear saves me contacting someone who isn't interesting in what I have to offer.

Live and let live and try not to criticise other people's choices when they have no relevance to you. Negativity is never attractive. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The thing with preferences on fab is that they're quite discrete things in tick boxes whereas in reality people have a lot more fluidity to their choices.

In order to filter through everyone you need to set some preferences but in a club situation its likely that two or more people can click only to find out their preferences on here don't match. I had to invite one of my friends as I'd said I didn't want contacting by people of his age. I have nothing against his age, it's just how I whittle down the list of potentials

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just wondering what preferences stated by people on here really put you off the idea of contacting them or trying to meet up with them?

For me, its all these women/couples who state that they are looking for black cock, or, often as not BBC.

What about you?

People who say they're the best at something. Where's your evidence? Show me statistics proving that this a genuine provable statement

Who said anything about being 'the best' at anything??

I see...and thanks for your earlier comment re..uncharacteristic of me...I try to be pretty fair minded and non judgemental whenever possible

No probs

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

Not a fan of

'I'm married, don't judge me'

Thanks for your honesty but no, no and no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The thing with preferences on fab is that they're quite discrete things in tick boxes whereas in reality people have a lot more fluidity to their choices.

I've noticed this too. people I've met have been this way, as have I lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

for sex purposes yes, preferences are fine.

with an interest in meeting in socials,parties,events I have no preference, its easy to chat to people and have a laugh...

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By *ieutenantMan
over a year ago

london

Any profile without reference is considered free for all and sundry.

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