FabSwingers.com forum: Should clubs do more?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The majority of people in clubs are respectful adults. However some people (men and women) seem to think that it's ok to touch people without their consent.

Should clubs do more? What if the club person on the door told EVERYONE that went in "if you touch someone without their consent you will be thrown out with no refund. Police will be involved if applicable."

Do you think this would help?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see what you're getting at but with two sides to a story, what's to stop somebody reporting someone who's done nothing wrong out of spite or because their face didn't fit.

A bit like the name n shame flaws I guess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The rules are known and clubs deal with any breaches quickly and quietly not to spoil other peoples evenings or days. Don't really think a more in your face approach is needed really.

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By *lack Shoe Red SoulCouple
over a year ago

North Hampshire

It would be great, but in reality I just don't think it would work, clubs want punters and humans will always do what they are told not to......

If only every one were polite and asked first....

I think the worst ones are those who get told no and then call you a bitch because you turned them down

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"The majority of people in clubs are respectful adults. However some people (men and women) seem to think that it's ok to touch people without their consent.

Do you think this would help? "

A shame that people need reminding but yes, I think it's a good idea to tell men and women.

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By *e ja vue 2Couple
over a year ago

MANCHESTER

If your touched without consent its abuse whether in a club or out, it should be reported to the club manager and the person should be warned anyway, The club owners want a safe enviroment for all that way you come back again and again and keep paying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do clubs have signs up with the rules? If not perhaps a good start.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Do clubs have signs up with the rules? If not perhaps a good start."

They all have it on their websites.

If someone wants to touch, they'll touch. I fail to see how a sermon at the front door will change their minds, whereas pointing it out to them at the time might make them reconsider, especially if they're asked to leave the room.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do clubs have signs up with the rules? If not perhaps a good start.

They all have it on their websites.

Definately.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The majority of people in clubs are respectful adults. However some people (men and women) seem to think that it's ok to touch people without their consent.

Do you think this would help? "

I agree with the sentiment but I suspect that in reality it would achieve little and deter newbies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People should know the etiquette and if other people see people breaking the rules they should step in if necessary until a member of club security staff arrives. Some people (sadly mostly men) have no concept of how to behave at a club.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does it depend on how and where? Some rely on a light touch to indicate an interest or being open to play. Maybe you have seen someone you're interested in and are polite waiting for a signal? On the other hand being grabbed/touched just walking around is out of order.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Does it depend on how and where? Some rely on a light touch to indicate an interest or being open to play. Maybe you have seen someone you're interested in and are polite waiting for a signal? On the other hand being grabbed/touched just walking around is out of order."

I agree. I suppose it depends on the person too and the situation.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The majority of people in clubs are respectful adults. However some people (men and women) seem to think that it's ok to touch people without their consent.

Do you think this would help?

I agree with the sentiment but I suspect that in reality it would achieve little and deter newbies"

I was originally thinking it would be aimed more at newbies but actually some people that have been many times need reminding too. I don't know what the answer is.

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

The answer is ... dont go to clubs ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The answer is ... dont go to clubs ... "

Do you go?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see what you're getting at but with two sides to a story, what's to stop somebody reporting someone who's done nothing wrong out of spite or because their face didn't fit.

A bit like the name n shame flaws I guess"

Easily solved with CCTV in all areas of the club

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By *ymph and ManicCouple
over a year ago

North East

We've been to a club and nymph and a fem friend were standing having a girly chat and a total gorilla groped both fems ... they rebuked the guy and he laughed and said fair game ... .. they reported him to the management who said they understood .. and would act ... within 15 mins after there"chat" with the guy he was at it again with another fem and her male partner proceeded to lay him out .. not condoning violence but he was a regular in the club and as such (he told us rather loudly) that he had done it for years and no fucker would stop him as it's all fresh meat to him ... ... ...he still wasn't ejected from club but the guy who punched him was asked to leave ... ... ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We've been to a club and nymph and a fem friend were standing having a girly chat and a total gorilla groped both fems ... they rebuked the guy and he laughed and said fair game ... .. they reported him to the management who said they understood .. and would act ... within 15 mins after there"chat" with the guy he was at it again with another fem and her male partner proceeded to lay him out .. not condoning violence but he was a regular in the club and as such (he told us rather loudly) that he had done it for years and no fucker would stop him as it's all fresh meat to him ... ... ...he still wasn't ejected from club but the guy who punched him was asked to leave ... ... ... "

That's shocking. I certainly wouldn't return to the same club again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The majority of people in clubs are respectful adults. However some people (men and women) seem to think that it's ok to touch people without their consent.

Do you think this would help?

I agree with the sentiment but I suspect that in reality it would achieve little and deter newbies

I was originally thinking it would be aimed more at newbies but actually some people that have been many times need reminding too. I don't know what the answer is.

When i said deter nebies, I meant from attending clubs (with hindsight it's worded a bit ambiguous), There's already been the inevitable ;don;t go to clubs' post on this thread and I think that a warning like this (rather than in the rules) would make the problem seem far worse than it actually is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They both should have been asked to leave, the violence is as unjustifiable as the sexual assault.

The worst behaviour I have ever seen was a woman at VA who was d*unk, aggressive and arguing with her partner. It was surprising and disappointing how long it took the owners to act.

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

The staff should have been reminded that their licence was a stake and that if they did not act the incident would be reported to the police and the local licencing authority.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They both should have been asked to leave, the violence is as unjustifiable as the sexual assault.

The worst behaviour I have ever seen was a woman at VA who was d*unk, aggressive and arguing with her partner. It was surprising and disappointing how long it took the owners to act."

I don't advocate violence BUT in that example it was definitely justified.

If someone had laid a hand on my partner/friend and been told no and did it again he certainly wouldn't be in a position to do it again for some time.

It's not acceptable.

The flip side though as is often the case is where women are free to grab, grope, comment, etc males without it being seen as wrong.

Many on here have commented on the double standards before.

I've had it first hand - a look was enough for her partner to realise it was time to take her home even though he thought it was funny and was egging her on at the time.

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