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"I get the impression from your post that this is the first time you've attended a GUM clinic and you've been on site for over a year! Others will have something further to say no doubt. However, you're preaching to the converted, as the majority of us in this lifestyle go to our local GUM clinics on a regular basis: even us single folk who don't have to worry about bringing something nasty home to a "loved" one. " I think that is a unfair statement about him only visiting once despite being on the site over a year. What has it got to do with you or others? There is nothing on his profile to say he meets different people every day or week for that matter or that he doesn't practice safe sex. | |||
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"I get the impression from your post that this is the first time you've attended a GUM clinic and you've been on site for over a year! Others will have something further to say no doubt. However, you're preaching to the converted, as the majority of us in this lifestyle go to our local GUM clinics on a regular basis: even us single folk who don't have to worry about bringing something nasty home to a "loved" one. I think that is a unfair statement about him only visiting once despite being on the site over a year. What has it got to do with you or others? There is nothing on his profile to say he meets different people every day or week for that matter or that he doesn't practice safe sex." Did you actually read the OP and my response? The impression I got was the OP was surprised at going to the GUM and the professionalism of the staff and how they treated him. To me, and it is about personal interpretation, if you attend GUM clinics you know they're professional so there's no need to mention it. What has what got to do with me and others?!! You do realise that when you post on an OPEN forum people comment don't you?!! Also (shock, horror) people don't always agree!!! Who would have thought, I know! Please point out where I said the OP didn't practice safe sex and meet different people every week! The OP is the one who wrote he was convinced he was HIV positive. I've been feeling unwell for ages too, I can assure you over the last couple of months I've convinced myself I've got cancer, double pneumonia, plague, beri beri and ebola. Not ONCE have I thought STD! Like I said: differing views! | |||
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"I get the impression from your post that this is the first time you've attended a GUM clinic and you've been on site for over a year! Others will have something further to say no doubt. " I don't feel there was any need for the above quote. Maybe its just '!' that makes it 'look' a lot more 'arsey' that its meant. Also if others want to comment, so it be. Or is the real reason for what you said further in your reply is that your having a dig at him being 'Married'?? | |||
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"I get the impression from your post that this is the first time you've attended a GUM clinic and you've been on site for over a year! Others will have something further to say no doubt. I don't feel there was any need for the above quote. Maybe its just '!' that makes it 'look' a lot more 'arsey' that its meant. Also if others want to comment, so it be. Or is the real reason for what you said further in your reply is that your having a dig at him being 'Married'?? " well said! | |||
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"I get the impression from your post that this is the first time you've attended a GUM clinic and you've been on site for over a year! Others will have something further to say no doubt. I don't feel there was any need for the above quote. Maybe its just '!' that makes it 'look' a lot more 'arsey' that its meant. Also if others want to comment, so it be. Or is the real reason for what you said further in your reply is that your having a dig at him being 'Married'?? " Agreed.. plus reading through it again the OP didn't actually say WHEN he'd been. Could have been after a couple of months of joining? Could have been years ago before he was swinging even and was just worried about a previous partner. What ever happened to being non judgemental? | |||
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"I get the impression from your post that this is the first time you've attended a GUM clinic and you've been on site for over a year! Others will have something further to say no doubt. I don't feel there was any need for the above quote. Maybe its just '!' that makes it 'look' a lot more 'arsey' that its meant. Also if others want to comment, so it be. Or is the real reason for what you said further in your reply is that your having a dig at him being 'Married'?? " I have to agree with this poster quoted. I do feel it was a dig at the OP rather than a unbiased answer to the thread. Many people will say they go to the GUM clinic, you dont truly believe they all do as regularly as they say do you? You can only protect yourself, thats all. You cannot rely on anyone else. It may have been the OP's first time and he was naturally worried about sharing details of his sexual lifestyle. I feel it was a little unfair to jump down his throat straight away. the comment about the loved one = loved being put in quotes, was a definite dig at him being married. Again nothing to do with us what the OP does, its not fair to judge others, there are enough people out there to do that to us, let us try and give our views in a fair way | |||
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"I have to say that I agree with sassy in many respects, we go to our GUM clinic at the hospital and I'd like to think that the majority of swingers do too! But to be going for the 1st time and being worried about having AIDS is extremely worrying, and if the guy is married (I haven't looked at his profile) what the heck has he been telling his wife as he obviously wouldn't have been having unprotected sex with her whilst he thought he had AIDS- would he? Z" wow....serious assumptions going on and not really our business surely?! his conscience is not ours to question. | |||
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"I have to say that I agree with sassy in many respects, we go to our GUM clinic at the hospital and I'd like to think that the majority of swingers do too! But to be going for the 1st time and being worried about having AIDS is extremely worrying, and if the guy is married (I haven't looked at his profile) what the heck has he been telling his wife as he obviously wouldn't have been having unprotected sex with her whilst he thought he had AIDS- would he? Z wow....serious assumptions going on and not really our business surely?! his conscience is not ours to question." Yes, I agree and you're also making assumptions of your own! He kinda made it our business when he posted ina n open forum. What he does with his life is entirely up to him of course. Z | |||
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"I have to say that I agree with sassy in many respects, we go to our GUM clinic at the hospital and I'd like to think that the majority of swingers do too! But to be going for the 1st time and being worried about having AIDS is extremely worrying, and if the guy is married (I haven't looked at his profile) what the heck has he been telling his wife as he obviously wouldn't have been having unprotected sex with her whilst he thought he had AIDS- would he? Z" Again though, doesn't say WHEN this all took place? We don't know when he was talking about, or even if he was married at the time this took place. And we certainly don't know what protection he uses with his wife! Who knows, you might be right, but not fair to jump to assumptions, and maybe we'll never know, as the OP appears to have been scared off!! | |||
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"I have to say that I agree with sassy in many respects, we go to our GUM clinic at the hospital and I'd like to think that the majority of swingers do too! But to be going for the 1st time and being worried about having AIDS is extremely worrying, and if the guy is married (I haven't looked at his profile) what the heck has he been telling his wife as he obviously wouldn't have been having unprotected sex with her whilst he thought he had AIDS- would he? Z wow....serious assumptions going on and not really our business surely?! his conscience is not ours to question. Yes, I agree and you're also making assumptions of your own! He kinda made it our business when he posted ina n open forum. What he does with his life is entirely up to him of course. Z" i have made no assumptions whatsoever...just entering into the ethos that this site is a sex site and what folk do outside that is none of our business. the op shared an experience, he did not at any point invite anyone within this thread to discuss his profile or his private life off this site. as far as i'm aware, that is still not allowed | |||
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"I have to say that I agree with sassy in many respects, we go to our GUM clinic at the hospital and I'd like to think that the majority of swingers do too! But to be going for the 1st time and being worried about having AIDS is extremely worrying, and if the guy is married (I haven't looked at his profile) what the heck has he been telling his wife as he obviously wouldn't have been having unprotected sex with her whilst he thought he had AIDS- would he? Z Again though, doesn't say WHEN this all took place? We don't know when he was talking about, or even if he was married at the time this took place. And we certainly don't know what protection he uses with his wife! Who knows, you might be right, but not fair to jump to assumptions, and maybe we'll never know, as the OP appears to have been scared off!! " Oh yes, of course you may be right - he went to the clinic over a year ago, before he was married and just decided to impart this knowledge and experience to us all, glad we cleared that up then! Z | |||
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"I feel the OP post was very very true and honest, I've been a swinger a few years now and always practice safe sex but my 1st time was scary but the staff were great, I go every 6 months now just for my own sanity, at least he was honest and forth right about his experience and hopefully anyone Reading who's never been before will take notice that it's not scary they don't judge xxxx" exactly! that message should not be lost on this thread | |||
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"I have to say that I agree with sassy in many respects, we go to our GUM clinic at the hospital and I'd like to think that the majority of swingers do too! But to be going for the 1st time and being worried about having AIDS is extremely worrying, and if the guy is married (I haven't looked at his profile) what the heck has he been telling his wife as he obviously wouldn't have been having unprotected sex with her whilst he thought he had AIDS- would he? Z Again though, doesn't say WHEN this all took place? We don't know when he was talking about, or even if he was married at the time this took place. And we certainly don't know what protection he uses with his wife! Who knows, you might be right, but not fair to jump to assumptions, and maybe we'll never know, as the OP appears to have been scared off!! Oh yes, of course you may be right - he went to the clinic over a year ago, before he was married and just decided to impart this knowledge and experience to us all, glad we cleared that up then! Z" Exactly, and then maybe he rode home on a giant pink unicorn.. The point is though that we really don't know. And as slightly misguided as maybe it was, the premise is that he shared his story to put peoples mind at ease, and for that sincerity let's give the guy a break. | |||
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"His private life is his buisness, it's called private for a reason!" yes but he still has to intereact with ppl and not every person is cappable of making all the needed decisions are thye? | |||
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"His private life is his buisness, it's called private for a reason!" Of course but you've got to feel for his wife, not only is he swinging he's obviously leaving himself open to contracting AIDS - otherwise he wouldn't have worried that he had it. Z | |||
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"His private life is his buisness, it's called private for a reason! Of course but you've got to feel for his wife, not only is he swinging he's obviously leaving himself open to contracting AIDS - otherwise he wouldn't have worried that he had it. Z" so...you go to the gum clinic regularly because you think you have something then? i go as a matter of course, even if i'm not active! it doesnt matter how many times i go i always wonder....right until i get the all clear. never had a negative one yet, but the anxiety still exists. as HIV can exist in the body for years without any symptoms, it's not unrealistic to wonder if something that happened in the folly of your youth or even an 'accident' (condoms DO split...really!) is raising it's head. | |||
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" Of course but you've got to feel for his wife, n" ...and no, i don't actually....i feel for myself and my own safety...who he sleeps with is his business and for him to deal with. do you wonder about every single person your partners sleep with or do you just concentrate on protecting yourself as best as you can? | |||
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"I always assumed more sex = less frustration, more chilled out people and less conflict but it seems people take offence and get angry about everything on here!" I have to agree. Some people are well uptight here! | |||
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"I always assumed more sex = less frustration, more chilled out people and less conflict but it seems people take offence and get angry about everything on here! I have to agree. Some people are well uptight here!" Some people also like playing devils advocate and making the debate more lively! Z | |||
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"I'm not into married men either but what he does is his own business and not ours. We are talking about clinics not about his marriage, seems all these forums go way off the subject!!!!" Yes, that they do! Z | |||
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"Thanks Iconic, a little sanity at last! Was reading this thread growing increasingly annoyed at the lazy use of the term "contracted Aids" too. Its important to remember that its HIV that is contracted, and Aids is the long term result." Was watching the news last week a subject about growing old with hiv and the stigma still attached to it. | |||
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"Thanks Iconic, a little sanity at last! Yes i agree HIV is a condition thats is not kept under control by way of medication or our own immune system can lead to aids..However thats why its so important to be diagnosed early. There are 80,000 plus diagnosed cases in the uK. Most of these people have a normal healthy life doing normal jobs and just getting on with there lives. So please dont call it AIDS that why there is so much prejudice against people living with HIV.My concern is those on this site that loosely use the words AIDS, it makes wonder is it just a lazy use, or are those that ignorant regarding hiv. If that's the case i strongly suggest you do some reading, as the world you are enjoying you could be putting your self at more risk than you realised. Was reading this thread growing increasingly annoyed at the lazy use of the term "contracted Aids" too. Its important to remember that its HIV that is contracted, and Aids is the long term result. Was watching the news last week a subject about growing old with hiv and the stigma still attached to it." | |||
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"I just wondered when people on here do go for a GUM check up if they are honest about their swinging practices - i.e. would you tell the staff you had been to a swinger's club or meet people off the internet for sex?" Yep my gynecologist happens ta be an old friend and hes well aware of my swinging life and my partners swinging life lol xx | |||
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"I always assumed more sex = less frustration, more chilled out people and less conflict but it seems people take offence and get angry about everything on here! I have to agree. Some people are well uptight here! Some people also like playing devils advocate and making the debate more lively! Z" The problem is that I don't think the OP posted with the intention of it being a 'debate'. I feel this thread was intended to be informative / encouraging but there are people on here who cannot stop themselves from turning EVERY thread into a debate where every single aspect of the person posting is analysed and picked to pieces! I don't post often but as a reader, this practice of responding to almost every thread in an aggressive, judgemental way becomes tedious. Some people need to get off their sanctamonious high horses and try spending a little time down here with the imperfect minions. | |||
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"I just wondered when people on here do go for a GUM check up if they are honest about their swinging practices - i.e. would you tell the staff you had been to a swinger's club or meet people off the internet for sex?" Every six months for us, without fail. A lifestyle description is given (apart from friend's details) & yes, we practice safe sex. Peace of mind for a couple of hours inconvenience a year. A worthwhile investment for us & our friends. | |||
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"I always assumed more sex = less frustration, more chilled out people and less conflict but it seems people take offence and get angry about everything on here! I have to agree. Some people are well uptight here! Some people also like playing devils advocate and making the debate more lively! Z The problem is that I don't think the OP posted with the intention of it being a 'debate'. I feel this thread was intended to be informative / encouraging but there are people on here who cannot stop themselves from turning EVERY thread into a debate where every single aspect of the person posting is analysed and picked to pieces! I don't post often but as a reader, this practice of responding to almost every thread in an aggressive, judgemental way becomes tedious. Some people need to get off their sanctamonious high horses and try spending a little time down here with the imperfect minions." Sorry...have I missed the point?!! I thought when people posted on an open forum the whole point was to engage in some form of debate. Some comments will be favourable, others not so...that's how it goes isn't it?!! The same with how you answer. The comments posters make may lead to further debates, again, some in agreement some not! The fact of the matter is we all have individual ways of looking at things - it doesn't make me right and everyone else wrong. If someone comments in a way you don't like, you can say so, just like they can put their two pennies worth in. The irony is people seem to think its okay to lambast others for having an opinion if it differs from their own! | |||
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"I'll disagree with the person above and with sassymiss. If you feel the need to go to the GUM clinic every couple of weeks, then I would be worried about the type of people you are meeting, you obviously feel they may be carrying a disease, so why meet them? Go once or twice a year to put your mind at rest by all means. But the way you say you attend it sounds as though you go after every single meeting. Its more about choosing the right partner/s to start with rather than opting for medication to cure something after the event." I agree with this theory completely but the only problem with it lies in the fact that you cant see HIV or Chlamydia just by looking at someone. You might look at someones profile and they have 2 verifications for all year and then at another persons who has 50, you would be wrong to assume that the person with 2 verifications is safer. I would imagine that some people go more regularly to the GUM clinic because it makes them feel more at ease rather than they're worried what theyve picked up. | |||
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"blimey, this thread is heavy going and such a serious subject should be. What does GUM stand for? It must be an acronym. Can we lighten up with guesses at what GUM stands for? Right me first...........Give Up Penatrativesex or Grown Up Mistake" Genito Urinary Medicine. | |||
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"blimey, this thread is heavy going and such a serious subject should be. What does GUM stand for? It must be an acronym. Can we lighten up with guesses at what GUM stands for? Right me first...........Give Up Penatrativesex or Grown Up Mistake Genito Urinary Medicine." Sorry! Went all serious with you then. | |||
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"I'll disagree with the person above and with sassymiss. If you feel the need to go to the GUM clinic every couple of weeks, then I would be worried about the type of people you are meeting, you obviously feel they may be carrying a disease, so why meet them? Go once or twice a year to put your mind at rest by all means. But the way you say you attend it sounds as though you go after every single meeting. Its more about choosing the right partner/s to start with rather than opting for medication to cure something after the event." | |||
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"I simply made a brief sensible reply! One that I thought was valid! I'll disagree with the person above and with sassymiss. If you feel the need to go to the GUM clinic every couple of weeks, then I would be worried about the type of people you are meeting, you obviously feel they may be carrying a disease, so why meet them? Go once or twice a year to put your mind at rest by all means. But the way you say you attend it sounds as though you go after every single meeting. Its more about choosing the right partner/s to start with rather than opting for medication to cure something after the event." I completely disagree with you too! While it's right that you should be choosy who you play with in the first place, you make it sound as though you can spot someone with an STD a mile off and therefore avoid them. Go to get checked once or twice a year to put your mind at rest? And what, risk infecting anyone that you may have slept with in between? You're bonkers! How often you get checked up should reflect how often you play and it's not your place to tell people how often they should do that. | |||
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