FabSwingers.com forum: Swinging while someone else is in your house

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just putting this out there...

A few months ago, I had to stay at a friend's house for the night. While I was there, my friend and their OH were talking to a couple on here and considered inviting them round - this made me feel uncomfortable as I feel a bit anxious round new people. My friend invited them round anyway, things moved on and I went to bed as I didn't want to be involved. The next morning I felt extremely awkward - after being kept up half the night by them all having sex in the next room, too!

I chose not to say anything, because they took me into their home and gave me a bed for the night and I didn't want to appear ungrateful, but I later explained to my friend that the situation made me feel the way it did.

What would you have done if you had been in my position or my friends' position?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Asked to join in

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Asked to join in"

Yes, but as I've said I didn't want to be involved...

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Doesn't sound like a very friend-like thing to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/08/15 00:02:44]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd never dare invite anyone whilst I had a guest, not the done thing

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By *MP3Man
over a year ago

Between Scylla and Charybdis

"I'd never dare invite anyone whilst I had a guest, not the done thing"

I agree, it's very rude.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd never dare invite anyone whilst I had a guest, not the done thing"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally thoughtless and shouldn't be done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like they were hoping that you would join it, it was probably pre planned on their part I reckon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd never dare invite anyone whilst I had a guest, not the done thing

"
im in a shared house and I would never swing here! I don't think it's fair

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sounds like they were hoping that you would join it, it was probably pre planned on their part I reckon."

I don't think they were as we only arranged for me to stay an hour or so before they began talking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would have started ruining up and down the stairs naked wearing wellies, a shower cap, marigolds and singing I'm a little teapot as loud as I could...

I think their new friends would have soon fucked off sharpish

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would have started ruining up and down the stairs naked wearing wellies, a shower cap, marigolds and singing I'm a little teapot as loud as I could...

I think their new friends would have soon fucked off sharpish

They lived in a bungalow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't bring people to our house because we don't want to th next door neighbour to know, so it sounds really strange that people would do this when having guests.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would have started ruining up and down the stairs naked wearing wellies, a shower cap, marigolds and singing I'm a little teapot as loud as I could...

I think their new friends would have soon fucked off sharpish

They lived in a bungalow

Damn I'll get back to the drawing board!

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation."

Removing myself would have been a bit awkward, as it was late at night, I was five miles away from home in a rural area, no transport and unable to get into my home. So it was either that or sleep on the street in the middle of winter.

Which one would you choose?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation."

True you could have gone home.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation.

Which one would you choose?"

In that case, suck it up buttercup. Choose better friends.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/08/15 00:23:30]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation.

Which one would you choose?

In that case, suck it up buttercup. Choose better friends."

You are SUCH a kind and considerate charmer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds like they were hoping that you would join it, it was probably pre planned on their part I reckon."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"unable to get into my home. So it was either that or sleep on the street in the middle of winter."

and you're still concerned about this thing that happened, what, 6 months later? And why couldn't you get into your home? Is it on a time lock?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes situations clash , they should of just been more discrete about it , ? Dont understand why u needed to stay in the situation or why if they wanted a meet to bring an outsider to swingin in to the mix , maybe u was ment to be involved

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation.

Which one would you choose?"

I would have chosen not to moan about people doing as they pleased in their own home......Or walked home.

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By *at69driveMan
over a year ago

Hertford

"Just putting this out there...

What would you have done if you had been in my position or my friends' position?"
. If you were staying overnight , they should not have asked other people around . It shows a lack of manners and consideration for their guest ..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"unable to get into my home. So it was either that or sleep on the street in the middle of winter.

and you're still concerned about this thing that happened, what, 6 months later? And why couldn't you get into your home? Is it on a time lock?

Because I lost my keys and were unable to get into my flat...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation."

Completely disagree there are cultural expectations about how one treats a guest. We had friends do a similar thing and now they complain because we won't visit them in their house anymore.

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By *ez_91Man
over a year ago

derby

What muppet would let him self get In to this situation.?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation.

Which one would you choose?

I would have chosen not to moan about people doing as they pleased in their own home......Or walked home."

Do you think it would be reasonable for a young woman to walk such a distance by herself in the middle of the night? As above stated, going home wouldn't have improved matters as I was unable to get into my home.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"unable to get into my home. So it was either that or sleep on the street in the middle of winter.

and you're still concerned about this thing that happened, what, 6 months later? And why couldn't you get into your home? Is it on a time lock?

Because I lost my keys and were unable to get into my flat..."

So they kindly let you stay with them for the night to keep you off the streets yet you only moan about them having a life?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"unable to get into my home. So it was either that or sleep on the street in the middle of winter.

and you're still concerned about this thing that happened, what, 6 months later? And why couldn't you get into your home? Is it on a time lock?

Because I lost my keys and were unable to get into my flat..."

I think, as this happened SOOO long ago you should probably move on and not worry yourself, or us about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Taxi!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"unable to get into my home. So it was either that or sleep on the street in the middle of winter.

and you're still concerned about this thing that happened, what, 6 months later? And why couldn't you get into your home? Is it on a time lock?

Because I lost my keys and were unable to get into my flat...

I think, as this happened SOOO long ago you should probably move on and not worry yourself, or us about it."

If you don't have nothing nice to say, don't say nothing at all.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"unable to get into my home. So it was either that or sleep on the street in the middle of winter.

and you're still concerned about this thing that happened, what, 6 months later? And why couldn't you get into your home? Is it on a time lock?

Because I lost my keys and were unable to get into my flat...

So they kindly let you stay with them for the night to keep you off the streets yet you only moan about them having a life? "

God no, I'm not moaning about them having a life. I didn't complain as I didn't wish to be ungrateful to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"unable to get into my home. So it was either that or sleep on the street in the middle of winter.

and you're still concerned about this thing that happened, what, 6 months later? And why couldn't you get into your home? Is it on a time lock?

Because I lost my keys and were unable to get into my flat...

So they kindly let you stay with them for the night to keep you off the streets yet you only moan about them having a life? "

Got to agree with this statement!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"unable to get into my home. So it was either that or sleep on the street in the middle of winter.

and you're still concerned about this thing that happened, what, 6 months later? And why couldn't you get into your home? Is it on a time lock?

Because I lost my keys and were unable to get into my flat...

So they kindly let you stay with them for the night to keep you off the streets yet you only moan about them having a life?

God no, I'm not moaning about them having a life. I didn't complain as I didn't wish to be ungrateful to them."

It's what it sounds like now though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation.

Which one would you choose?

I would have chosen not to moan about people doing as they pleased in their own home......Or walked home.

I'm sorry OP but your question was "what would YOU do?" not "did i do the right thing?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"unable to get into my home. So it was either that or sleep on the street in the middle of winter.

and you're still concerned about this thing that happened, what, 6 months later? And why couldn't you get into your home? Is it on a time lock?

Because I lost my keys and were unable to get into my flat...

I think, as this happened SOOO long ago you should probably move on and not worry yourself, or us about it.

If you don't have nothing nice to say, don't say nothing at all."

But, as you asked for an opinion, surely you're going to get people both agreeing and disagreeing with your reaction?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"unable to get into my home. So it was either that or sleep on the street in the middle of winter.

and you're still concerned about this thing that happened, what, 6 months later? And why couldn't you get into your home? Is it on a time lock?

Because I lost my keys and were unable to get into my flat...

I think, as this happened SOOO long ago you should probably move on and not worry yourself, or us about it.

If you don't have nothing nice to say, don't say nothing at all.

But, as you asked for an opinion, surely you're going to get people both agreeing and disagreeing with your reaction? "

I can respect that

I'm also choosing to express my opinions in a way that won't start bickering.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"unable to get into my home. So it was either that or sleep on the street in the middle of winter.

and you're still concerned about this thing that happened, what, 6 months later? And why couldn't you get into your home? Is it on a time lock?

Because I lost my keys and were unable to get into my flat...

I think, as this happened SOOO long ago you should probably move on and not worry yourself, or us about it.

If you don't have nothing nice to say, don't say nothing at all.

But, as you asked for an opinion, surely you're going to get people both agreeing and disagreeing with your reaction?

I can respect that

I'm also choosing to express my opinions in a way that won't start bickering."

Fair enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or debating.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"unable to get into my home. So it was either that or sleep on the street in the middle of winter.

and you're still concerned about this thing that happened, what, 6 months later? And why couldn't you get into your home? Is it on a time lock?

Because I lost my keys and were unable to get into my flat...

I think, as this happened SOOO long ago you should probably move on and not worry yourself, or us about it.

If you don't have nothing nice to say, don't say nothing at all.

But, as you asked for an opinion, surely you're going to get people both agreeing and disagreeing with your reaction?

I can respect that

I'm also choosing to express my opinions in a way that won't start bickering.

Fair enough

Hence leaving someone who seems to enjoy picking fights alone

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation.

Which one would you choose?

I would have chosen not to moan about people doing as they pleased in their own home......Or walked home.

Yeah, realised after I'd posted what you said about not being able to get in your own home.

No, I don't think it reasonable for a young woman to walk such a distance by herself in the middle of the night, but you asked which I would choose.

And I still think you're wrong to complain.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation.

Which one would you choose?

I would have chosen not to moan about people doing as they pleased in their own home......Or walked home.

Yeah, realised after I'd posted what you said about not being able to get in your own home.

No, I don't think it reasonable for a young woman to walk such a distance by herself in the middle of the night, but you asked which I would choose.

And I still think you're wrong to complain."

Okay

Yeah, that's why I didn't complain at them at the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't have changed any plans i'd already made, and didn't once when my sister came up to stay a few days (she went to her mates for a few hours and i had a great time hehe), but if i genuinely wanted to spend time with someone that came to mine then i'd not make plans in the first place. My sister doesn't give me any notice when she's coming over but she's always welcome to stay and i stay off the internet when she's here and we do stuff together, even go outside

I think they have the right to do what they want in their own home, you have the right to vent about it too.

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation.

Completely disagree there are cultural expectations about how one treats a guest. We had friends do a similar thing and now they complain because we won't visit them in their house anymore."

Cultural expectations?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would have gone to bed and put a pillow over my head. I wouldn't feel awkward in the morning as the only friends I have are close enough to not feel embarrassed about something like that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I wouldn't have changed any plans i'd already made, and didn't once when my sister came up to stay a few days (she went to her mates for a few hours and i had a great time hehe), but if i genuinely wanted to spend time with someone that came to mine then i'd not make plans in the first place. My sister doesn't give me any notice when she's coming over but she's always welcome to stay and i stay off the internet when she's here and we do stuff together, even go outside

I think they have the right to do what they want in their own home, you have the right to vent about it too."

Thank you AB

Their guests' visit wasn't pre planned.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would have gone to bed and put a pillow over my head. I wouldn't feel awkward in the morning as the only friends I have are close enough to not feel embarrassed about something like that. "

I basically did that! I felt weird in the morning as when I got up there was still used condoms in the living room with cushions everywhere, I didn't know where to sit

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"I would have gone to bed and put a pillow over my head. I wouldn't feel awkward in the morning as the only friends I have are close enough to not feel embarrassed about something like that.

I basically did that! I felt weird in the morning as when I got up there was still used condoms in the living room with cushions everywhere, I didn't know where to sit

You should have been a good and grateful guest and cleaned up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would have gone to bed and put a pillow over my head. I wouldn't feel awkward in the morning as the only friends I have are close enough to not feel embarrassed about something like that.

I basically did that! I felt weird in the morning as when I got up there was still used condoms in the living room with cushions everywhere, I didn't know where to sit

I think your right to feel weird in that situation...and tbh is wasnt very nice of them to do it....and by the sound of it not much respect for themselves

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"I would have gone to bed and put a pillow over my head. I wouldn't feel awkward in the morning as the only friends I have are close enough to not feel embarrassed about something like that.

I basically did that! I felt weird in the morning as when I got up there was still used condoms in the living room with cushions everywhere, I didn't know where to sit

I think your right to feel weird in that situation...and tbh is wasnt very nice of them to do it....and by the sound of it not much respect for themselves "

"...not much respect for themselves"? How do you work that one out?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would have gone to bed and put a pillow over my head. I wouldn't feel awkward in the morning as the only friends I have are close enough to not feel embarrassed about something like that.

I basically did that! I felt weird in the morning as when I got up there was still used condoms in the living room with cushions everywhere, I didn't know where to sit

I think your right to feel weird in that situation...and tbh is wasnt very nice of them to do it....and by the sound of it not much respect for themselves

"...not much respect for themselves"? How do you work that one out?"

Leaving used condoms allover the place while they have guests lol

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"I would have started ruining up and down the stairs naked wearing wellies, a shower cap, marigolds and singing I'm a little teapot as loud as I could...

I think their new friends would have soon fucked off sharpish

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would have gone to bed and put a pillow over my head. I wouldn't feel awkward in the morning as the only friends I have are close enough to not feel embarrassed about something like that.

I basically did that! I felt weird in the morning as when I got up there was still used condoms in the living room with cushions everywhere, I didn't know where to sit

You should have been a good and grateful guest and cleaned up

Ewww!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I would have gone to bed and put a pillow over my head. I wouldn't feel awkward in the morning as the only friends I have are close enough to not feel embarrassed about something like that.

I basically did that! I felt weird in the morning as when I got up there was still used condoms in the living room with cushions everywhere, I didn't know where to sit

"
did you know they where swingers?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"We don't bring people to our house because we don't want to th next door neighbour to know, so it sounds really strange that people would do this when having guests."

Wouldn't they think you just had visitors?

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"I would have gone to bed and put a pillow over my head. I wouldn't feel awkward in the morning as the only friends I have are close enough to not feel embarrassed about something like that.

I basically did that! I felt weird in the morning as when I got up there was still used condoms in the living room with cushions everywhere, I didn't know where to sit

I think your right to feel weird in that situation...and tbh is wasnt very nice of them to do it....and by the sound of it not much respect for themselves

"...not much respect for themselves"? How do you work that one out?

Leaving used condoms allover the place while they have guests lol "

I'd have put that down to too knackered to tidy up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would have gone to bed and put a pillow over my head. I wouldn't feel awkward in the morning as the only friends I have are close enough to not feel embarrassed about something like that.

I basically did that! I felt weird in the morning as when I got up there was still used condoms in the living room with cushions everywhere, I didn't know where to sit

Your friends are gross sorry to say. I would have shamed them. I know it's their house but clean up after yourselves. You need better friends I think. Did you lock yourself out?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think they have the right to do what they want in their own home, you have the right to vent about it too.

Thank you AB

Their guests' visit wasn't pre planned."

I got that impression yeah, i do feel it was rude of them but like i said it's their home and hospitality can be the way they want it to be.

I do also suspect they might have wanted you to join in as well (like someone else mentioned).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would have gone to bed and put a pillow over my head. I wouldn't feel awkward in the morning as the only friends I have are close enough to not feel embarrassed about something like that.

I basically did that! I felt weird in the morning as when I got up there was still used condoms in the living room with cushions everywhere, I didn't know where to sit

I think your right to feel weird in that situation...and tbh is wasnt very nice of them to do it....and by the sound of it not much respect for themselves

"...not much respect for themselves"? How do you work that one out?

Leaving used condoms allover the place while they have guests lol

I'd have put that down to too knackered to tidy up."

I put it down to lack of respect on both counts..one inviting someone over when she was there and two being dirty fuckers leaving used condoms about..how repulsive is that

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I'd hope that my friends would give enough of a shit about me so as not to make me feel uncomfortable. It's not a scenario I would have arranged if I had someone staying with me, short notice or not. That's just how I roll though.

Had I been in your shoes, the whole situation wouldn't have worried me cause I wouldn't feel awkward with them getting on with stuff if I went to bed. If they were my friends in the first place, I'd trust their judgement in the people they chose to invite round and I'd know I was safe and wouldn't feel any pressure to join in.

Plus I sleep like the dead and always have headphones in my handbag.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would have gone to bed and put a pillow over my head. I wouldn't feel awkward in the morning as the only friends I have are close enough to not feel embarrassed about something like that.

I basically did that! I felt weird in the morning as when I got up there was still used condoms in the living room with cushions everywhere, I didn't know where to sit

did you know they where swingers?

Yep.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think they have the right to do what they want in their own home, you have the right to vent about it too.

Thank you AB

Their guests' visit wasn't pre planned.

I got that impression yeah, i do feel it was rude of them but like i said it's their home and hospitality can be the way they want it to be.

I do also suspect they might have wanted you to join in as well (like someone else mentioned).

Oh, they did! The other male kept asking me what I thought of his wife's body and my friend woke me up a couple of times attempting to get me to join in. Til I accidentally punched him when I was half asleep.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd hope that my friends would give enough of a shit about me so as not to make me feel uncomfortable. It's not a scenario I would have arranged if I had someone staying with me, short notice or not. That's just how I roll though.

Plus I sleep like the dead and always have headphones in my handbag.

I did trust their judgment - even if they hadn't met them before - but I couldn't sleep BECAUSE of the noise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love how little snippets of the story come out. .....making the couple look worse and worse. ..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Love how little snippets of the story come out. .....making the couple look worse and worse. .."

How do you mean?

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

This is exceptionally poor etiquette.

Not the punch... that would have been the least of his worries had I been in your shoes. No means no. You shouldn't have to say it twice.

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"I would have gone to bed and put a pillow over my head. I wouldn't feel awkward in the morning as the only friends I have are close enough to not feel embarrassed about something like that.

I basically did that! I felt weird in the morning as when I got up there was still used condoms in the living room with cushions everywhere, I didn't know where to sit

I think your right to feel weird in that situation...and tbh is wasnt very nice of them to do it....and by the sound of it not much respect for themselves

"...not much respect for themselves"? How do you work that one out?

Leaving used condoms allover the place while they have guests lol

I'd have put that down to too knackered to tidy up.

I put it down to lack of respect on both counts..one inviting someone over when she was there and two being dirty fuckers leaving used condoms about..how repulsive is that "

I get the impression it wasn't a case of inviting the OP around but allowing her to stay to help her out (feel free to correct me if I'm wrong OP)

I can think of many things more repulsive than used condoms in someone's home after they've been partying.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I think they have the right to do what they want in their own home, you have the right to vent about it too.

Thank you AB

Their guests' visit wasn't pre planned.

I got that impression yeah, i do feel it was rude of them but like i said it's their home and hospitality can be the way they want it to be.

I do also suspect they might have wanted you to join in as well (like someone else mentioned).

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This is exceptionally poor etiquette.

Not the punch... that would have been the least of his worries had I been in your shoes. No means no. You shouldn't have to say it twice. "

It did make me feel INCREDIBLY uncomfortable. Not my friend in particular, but the other male for pushing the subject.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But were the couple who came hot or not?

That's the important question

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would have gone to bed and put a pillow over my head. I wouldn't feel awkward in the morning as the only friends I have are close enough to not feel embarrassed about something like that.

I basically did that! I felt weird in the morning as when I got up there was still used condoms in the living room with cushions everywhere, I didn't know where to sit

I think your right to feel weird in that situation...and tbh is wasnt very nice of them to do it....and by the sound of it not much respect for themselves

"...not much respect for themselves"? How do you work that one out?

Leaving used condoms allover the place while they have guests lol

I'd have put that down to too knackered to tidy up.

I put it down to lack of respect on both counts..one inviting someone over when she was there and two being dirty fuckers leaving used condoms about..how repulsive is that

I get the impression it wasn't a case of inviting the OP around but allowing her to stay to help her out (feel free to correct me if I'm wrong OP)

I can think of many things more repulsive than used condoms in someone's home after they've been partying."

And then tried to set her up yeah great friends lol...but hey ho we all have different standards

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would have gone to bed and put a pillow over my head. I wouldn't feel awkward in the morning as the only friends I have are close enough to not feel embarrassed about something like that.

I basically did that! I felt weird in the morning as when I got up there was still used condoms in the living room with cushions everywhere, I didn't know where to sit

I think your right to feel weird in that situation...and tbh is wasnt very nice of them to do it....and by the sound of it not much respect for themselves

"...not much respect for themselves"? How do you work that one out?

Leaving used condoms allover the place while they have guests lol

I'd have put that down to too knackered to tidy up.

I put it down to lack of respect on both counts..one inviting someone over when she was there and two being dirty fuckers leaving used condoms about..how repulsive is that

I get the impression it wasn't a case of inviting the OP around but allowing her to stay to help her out (feel free to correct me if I'm wrong OP)

I can think of many things more repulsive than used condoms in someone's home after they've been partying."

Yep, that's right.

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By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire

I think that taking into account the caveat that it's their house and they can do what they like, that is was poor manners on their part

If it had been discussed in advance and agreed by you that they might do it then fair enough, but sometimes just because you've got the right to do something doesn't make it the polite thing to do

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

This is exceptionally poor etiquette.

Not the punch... that would have been the least of his worries had I been in your shoes. No means no. You shouldn't have to say it twice.

It did make me feel INCREDIBLY uncomfortable. Not my friend in particular, but the other male for pushing the subject."

What did they say when you spoke to them about it?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"But were the couple who came hot or not?

That's the important question

The woman was, the guy... ewww.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Love how little snippets of the story come out. .....making the couple look worse and worse. ..

How do you mean?"

Well the op mentions inviting people round. ...then it transpires they left used condoms everywhere. ...and when we thought it couldn't get any worse they are waking you up to join in. ...just thought it might have been useful to have the full story from the off?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This is exceptionally poor etiquette.

Not the punch... that would have been the least of his worries had I been in your shoes. No means no. You shouldn't have to say it twice.

It did make me feel INCREDIBLY uncomfortable. Not my friend in particular, but the other male for pushing the subject.

What did they say when you spoke to them about it? "

They accepted it. On a later occasion, my friend's oh almost invited someone round again until my friend reminded her of how uncomfortable I had felt the previous time. And the second time I wasn't staying at theirs or anything.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Love how little snippets of the story come out. .....making the couple look worse and worse. ..

How do you mean?

Ahhh. Yeah, sorry, I see your point.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Tell you what I would of done. I would of gone to bed when I knew they where having people round and just stayed there.

They did you a huge favour but if they did come and try to get you to join in when you where asleep then I would definetly be questioning the word friend.

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"I would have gone to bed and put a pillow over my head. I wouldn't feel awkward in the morning as the only friends I have are close enough to not feel embarrassed about something like that.

I basically did that! I felt weird in the morning as when I got up there was still used condoms in the living room with cushions everywhere, I didn't know where to sit

I think your right to feel weird in that situation...and tbh is wasnt very nice of them to do it....and by the sound of it not much respect for themselves

"...not much respect for themselves"? How do you work that one out?

Leaving used condoms allover the place while they have guests lol

I'd have put that down to too knackered to tidy up.

I put it down to lack of respect on both counts..one inviting someone over when she was there and two being dirty fuckers leaving used condoms about..how repulsive is that

I get the impression it wasn't a case of inviting the OP around but allowing her to stay to help her out (feel free to correct me if I'm wrong OP)

I can think of many things more repulsive than used condoms in someone's home after they've been partying.

And then tried to set her up yeah great friends lol...but hey ho we all have different standards "

True, but what you and I are discussing is irrelevant to what the OP has subsequently revealed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Tell you what I would of done. I would of gone to bed when I knew they where having people round and just stayed there.

They did you a huge favour but if they did come and try to get you to join in when you where asleep then I would definetly be questioning the word friend.

I went to bed, but I was dragged out to be social and talk. Thankfully I'm not really in touch with anyone who was involved any more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think they have the right to do what they want in their own home, you have the right to vent about it too.

Thank you AB

Their guests' visit wasn't pre planned.

I got that impression yeah, i do feel it was rude of them but like i said it's their home and hospitality can be the way they want it to be.

I do also suspect they might have wanted you to join in as well (like someone else mentioned).

Haha, good on you. Oh well you know not to stay over again unless you want some fun...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tell you what I would of done. I would of gone to bed when I knew they where having people round and just stayed there.

They did you a huge favour but if they did come and try to get you to join in when you where asleep then I would definetly be questioning the word friend.

I went to bed, but I was dragged out to be social and talk. Thankfully I'm not really in touch with anyone who was involved any more."

Its getting worst lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think they have the right to do what they want in their own home, you have the right to vent about it too.

Thank you AB

Their guests' visit wasn't pre planned.

I got that impression yeah, i do feel it was rude of them but like i said it's their home and hospitality can be the way they want it to be.

I do also suspect they might have wanted you to join in as well (like someone else mentioned).

Haha, good on you. Oh well you know not to stay over again unless you want some fun..."

The punch was definitely an accident though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm now wondering which forumites are the guilty party?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For those who say OP's friends are gross for not cleaning up what about the guests? Too many times we've had people not bothering to 'tidy' up after themselves. Tbh think owners were out of order seeing they had a guest but suspect as you all were swingers they assumed it would be alright as you'd join in. However there's not much you could have done. I take it they don't have an account any longer or use the forum seeing you've decided to share this story with us???

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"For those who say OP's friends are gross for not cleaning up what about the guests? Too many times we've had people not bothering to 'tidy' up after themselves. Tbh think owners were out of order seeing they had a guest but suspect as you all were swingers they assumed it would be alright as you'd join in. However there's not much you could have done. I take it they don't have an account any longer or use the forum seeing you've decided to share this story with us???"

I didn't swing at the time. They're not on here any more & they never used the forums anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They used them lol..as i see there were two couples playing...so one must had been the owner of the house...me id had said ok lets clean up lol...its gross no matter how you view it lol

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"I'm now wondering which forumites are the guilty party?

Humming Shaggy's 'It Wasn't Me'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like a teenage party while your mum and dad are away for the weekend. Anyone tries to drag me out of my pit gets a pillow fight at the least.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think they have the right to do what they want in their own home, you have the right to vent about it too.

Thank you AB

Their guests' visit wasn't pre planned.

I got that impression yeah, i do feel it was rude of them but like i said it's their home and hospitality can be the way they want it to be.

I do also suspect they might have wanted you to join in as well (like someone else mentioned).

Haha, good on you. Oh well you know not to stay over again unless you want some fun...

The punch was definitely an accident though

Fair enough, i believe you. I probably would've been the same but more startled and accidently headbutted him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds like a teenage party while your mum and dad are away for the weekend. Anyone tries to drag me out of my pit gets a pillow fight at the least. "

Exactly. ...my friends all know to leave me the fuck alone once I've gone to bed

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think they have the right to do what they want in their own home, you have the right to vent about it too.

Thank you AB

Their guests' visit wasn't pre planned.

I got that impression yeah, i do feel it was rude of them but like i said it's their home and hospitality can be the way they want it to be.

I do also suspect they might have wanted you to join in as well (like someone else mentioned).

Haha, good on you. Oh well you know not to stay over again unless you want some fun...

The punch was definitely an accident though

Fair enough, i believe you. I probably would've been the same but more startled and accidently headbutted him."

Accidentally startled?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sounds like a teenage party while your mum and dad are away for the weekend. Anyone tries to drag me out of my pit gets a pillow fight at the least.

Exactly. ...my friends all know to leave me the fuck alone once I've gone to bed

Yeah, my friend should have known better not to mess with me when I'm tired. We used to do 8.30 starts at work together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry OP but you seem to keep adding to the story to make it sound worse than it probably was.

Sounds a bit Jackanory!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry OP but you seem to keep adding to the story to make it sound worse than it probably was.

Sounds a bit Jackanory!!!"

If that's your opinion, that's your opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didn't swing at the time. They're not on here any more & they never used the forums anyway."

With every bit of info sounding more like bad form by your friends. Could understand a pre-arranged meet to a degree but not if they arranged it with you there knowing you had nowhere else to go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP when you told your friend you felt uncomfortable the next day what did she say?

If you didn't like the answer maybe think about changing your friends.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I'm confuzzled. I don't get how if you couldn't sleep because of the noise they had to wake you up to ask you to join in and get accidentally punched. Or how all this late night 'can I stay since I'm locked out?' and then them arranging a meet whilst you were there came about. Maybe I'm old but it all sounds a bit crazy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think they have the right to do what they want in their own home, you have the right to vent about it too.

Thank you AB

Their guests' visit wasn't pre planned.

I got that impression yeah, i do feel it was rude of them but like i said it's their home and hospitality can be the way they want it to be.

I do also suspect they might have wanted you to join in as well (like someone else mentioned).

Haha, good on you. Oh well you know not to stay over again unless you want some fun...

The punch was definitely an accident though

Fair enough, i believe you. I probably would've been the same but more startled and accidently headbutted him.

Accidentally startled?

If anyone wakes me up i jump lol. My ex knows to do it from the other side of the room now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm confuzzled. I don't get how if you couldn't sleep because of the noise they had to wake you up to ask you to join in and get accidentally punched. Or how all this late night 'can I stay since I'm locked out?' and then them arranging a meet whilst you were there came about. Maybe I'm old but it all sounds a bit crazy."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I eventually started to doze as I was so tired, that was when my friend came in and woke me up.

Their meet came about as they were just browsing Fab when I was there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think OP just didn't indulge all the information in the original post, and the more she thinks about that night the more she remembers.

Don't see why it's not credible?

Trust me there is all kinds of crazy in this world and if you don't know about it then you've not lived ,or had a lucky escape, choose whichever you feel is appropriate.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OP when you told your friend you felt uncomfortable the next day what did she say?

If you didn't like the answer maybe think about changing your friends."

She accepted it. I don't really spend time with either of them anymore anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Coming soon....

How I had to sit through the video of it while eating my cornflakes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation."

Really

What a horrible attitude, pander to your anxieties at the cost of their own pleasure! Wow, seriously is this how we should treat other people? If this is the attitude of swingers in general I think we should pack it all in....oh wait it's not!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just putting this out there...

What would you have done if you had been in my position or my friends' position?"

They wouldn't be my friends anymore.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Just putting this out there...

What would you have done if you had been in my position or my friends' position?"

Two minds about this.

One: personally, if I had guests for the night I think I'd be able to hold off bringing strangers into my house for sex.

On the other hand, having invited someone to live with me who is trying to dictate how I act in MY house, I think you have a cheek complaining how people act in their own home.

No one was holding you hostage you could have left. No one has to pander to your sensitivities in their own home.

As I said, two minds.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation."

Whilst I wouldn't have done it, this pretty much sums up my view.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation.

Which one would you choose?

In that case, suck it up buttercup. Choose better friends.

You are SUCH a kind and considerate charmer."

I am too then as I'm with him on this.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"unable to get into my home. So it was either that or sleep on the street in the middle of winter.

and you're still concerned about this thing that happened, what, 6 months later? And why couldn't you get into your home? Is it on a time lock?

Because I lost my keys and were unable to get into my flat...

I think, as this happened SOOO long ago you should probably move on and not worry yourself, or us about it.

If you don't have nothing nice to say, don't say nothing at all."

Why do people start threads asking for opinions then act like petulant children when said opinion is expressed?!!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I would have gone to bed and put a pillow over my head. I wouldn't feel awkward in the morning as the only friends I have are close enough to not feel embarrassed about something like that.

I basically did that! I felt weird in the morning as when I got up there was still used condoms in the living room with cushions everywhere, I didn't know where to sit

I think your right to feel weird in that situation...and tbh is wasnt very nice of them to do it....and by the sound of it not much respect for themselves "

Huh?!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you did the right thing by bringing it up with them afterwards and telling them that they made you feel awkward.

You're not wrong to feel awkward about it. It was something that happened outside of your comfort zone and that's ok. I would have felt really, really awkward too and probably wouldn't stay with them again in the future.

If a friend had been locked out of her house and I'd suggested she stayed at mine, I would certainly cancel any shag-fest I had planned and instead hang out with her and make sure she had the least stressful night possible.

If your friends decide that you're being a dick for bringing it up, well, perhaps they're not actually very nice people to be friends with? Seems pretty insensitive for me. What's that phrase it's fashionable for men to use? Bro's before Ho's. Yeah. That.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I think that taking into account the caveat that it's their house and they can do what they like, that is was poor manners on their part

If it had been discussed in advance and agreed by you that they might do it then fair enough, but sometimes just because you've got the right to do something doesn't make it the polite thing to do "

Having someone live in my house for free who wants to dictate is probably clouding my view, but why the fuck should someone ask permission of how they conduct their life in their home?!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think that taking into account the caveat that it's their house and they can do what they like, that is was poor manners on their part

If it had been discussed in advance and agreed by you that they might do it then fair enough, but sometimes just because you've got the right to do something doesn't make it the polite thing to do

Having someone live in my house for free who wants to dictate is probably clouding my view, but why the fuck should someone ask permission of how they conduct their life in their home?!!

She wasn't 'living in their house for free' she was staying over for the night because she locked herself out. She said that above.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Sorry OP but you seem to keep adding to the story to make it sound worse than it probably was.

Sounds a bit Jackanory!!!"

I've been thinking the same.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I think that taking into account the caveat that it's their house and they can do what they like, that is was poor manners on their part

If it had been discussed in advance and agreed by you that they might do it then fair enough, but sometimes just because you've got the right to do something doesn't make it the polite thing to do

Having someone live in my house for free who wants to dictate is probably clouding my view, but why the fuck should someone ask permission of how they conduct their life in their home?!!

She wasn't 'living in their house for free' she was staying over for the night because she locked herself out. She said that above."

You've misunderstood what I've written. *I* have someone living in *my* house for free who wants to dictate how *I* live in it. Hence why I said because of my current living arrangements my view was clouded with regard to the op *moaning* about how people who invited her to stay conducted themselves in their own home.

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By *estless in batterseaMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

You were so traumatised by the incident and felt incredibly uncomfortable that you decided to become a swinger yourself. Something says double standards and hypocrite to me....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You were so traumatised by the incident and felt incredibly uncomfortable that you decided to become a swinger yourself. Something says double standards and hypocrite to me...."

I love swinging. I'd still be fucked off if I was staying in my friends house (because I was in a vulnerable position) and they decided to have random strangers round for foursomes in the lounge.

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By *estat069Couple
over a year ago

Stockport

Clearly your company wasn't good enough for them to enjoy that evening regardless of how you felt they still processed to invite others around. Call it Strike one. Good friends you keep others you ditch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not something I would have done, it does seem in poor taste.

However it is their home and you weren't really a guest as such, they were helping you out because you couldnt get into your flat.

I would have just gone up to bed and put headphones on or just put up with it, seeing as the alternative seed to be sleeping outside.

The other thing I question though is the point you make about it nearly happening again, but your friend told her OH that you felt uncomfortable. So it can't have been that bad as you wouldn't have turned up on their doorstep again. There are travelodges that might have been a better option.

With the story getting worse each time you post, it's obvious you are trying to paint the couple in a bad light.

From what you've said about them organising a meet after you arrived, well that's very quick working on their behalf but it sounds like they saw the opportunity of another female there, hence why they kept asking you.

But to stay again with them - unless I misinterpreted your post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would have started ruining up and down the stairs naked wearing wellies, a shower cap, marigolds and singing I'm a little teapot as loud as I could...

I think their new friends would have soon fucked off sharpish

They lived in a bungalow

It would have been even funnier if you were climbing up and down their loft-ladder

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd never dare invite anyone whilst I had a guest, not the done thing"

Depends if the "guest" is also a swinger/on fab etc.....?

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"It's not something I would have done, it does seem in poor taste.

However it is their home and you weren't really a guest as such, they were helping you out because you couldnt get into your flat.

I would have just gone up to bed and put headphones on or just put up with it, seeing as the alternative seed to be sleeping outside.

With the story getting worse each time you post, it's obvious you are trying to paint the couple in a bad light.

But to stay again with them - unless I misinterpreted your post.

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By *exyfuncouple-40Couple
over a year ago

Bloxham

Would have to say after reading about here experience or experience's . My question is this if you was feeling so uncomfortable why did you not call another friend to collect you in this cold winters night miles away from any where as if these people did these things I would be very concerned about my safety . You do seam very unlucky lost house keys , punching people , used condoms , meeting swingers ,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think you did the right thing by bringing it up with them afterwards and telling them that they made you feel awkward.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

I'm joking of course!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rent a room from a lady in a house, she is single and sexually active, not in a swinging way, our rule is we only have peeps back if the other is out, your friends were wrong and as some others have said maybe they thought if they invited someone round you would just have joined in, I wouldn't stay there again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

to b e honest and this is just me

but reading through the thread, if everything you have said is true I cant help but wonder why you didn't just leave and get a hotel

why would you stay in a house where a guy has come into the room you was sleeping in and tried to drag you out of bed

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By *exyfuncouple-40Couple
over a year ago

Bloxham

"to b e honest and this is just me

but reading through the thread, if everything you have said is true I cant help but wonder why you didn't just leave and get a hotel

why would you stay in a house where a guy has come into the room you was sleeping in and tried to drag you out of bed

We was thinking that is that boarding on rape ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"to b e honest and this is just me

but reading through the thread, if everything you have said is true I cant help but wonder why you didn't just leave and get a hotel

why would you stay in a house where a guy has come into the room you was sleeping in and tried to drag you out of bed

There are no taxis or locksmiths in some of the deepest darkest parts of the country don't you know? The other swingers had to make their way by cart and oxen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely if you're locked out, you call a locksmith to get you back in???! Am I being too sensible?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation.

Completely disagree there are cultural expectations about how one treats a guest. We had friends do a similar thing and now they complain because we won't visit them in their house anymore.

Cultural expectations? "

When you offer hospitality to someone, thus making them your guest, there are certain norms and values that come with it.

You offer them food and drink, you consider their preferences. I've been to third world countries that understood this ffs! People poor at dirt that would feel humiliated if they didn't make you feel as comfortable as Larry in their home.

Then there's the fact that your home is not some foreign embassy where the laws of the land don't apply. There's the small matter of consent for sexual activities. To offer someone hospitality such that they remove any possibility of leaving by drinking so they can't drive / deliberately miss the last train home / can't walk home and then spring an uninvited sex act on them is entrapment. I never thought I'd see a forum post where people we trying to justify the actions of a couple attempting to push a non-consenting single female into sex.

Ultimately it sounds like these people are very selfish and I agree with the person who suggested it was pre-planned. They used you for a bit of extra sexual excitement rather than be a good host.

You can have a different opinion but I wouldn't bother with these 'friends' again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd never dare invite anyone whilst I had a guest, not the done thing

Depends if the "guest" is also a swinger/on fab etc.....?"

Swingers don't need to give consent because we are always up for it? Eugh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

While I'd not do it if I had a guest over. I think in your situation id have giggled to myself about it and thought good on them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lmfaoooooooooo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation.

Completely disagree there are cultural expectations about how one treats a guest. We had friends do a similar thing and now they complain because we won't visit them in their house anymore.

Cultural expectations?

When you offer hospitality to someone, thus making them your guest, there are certain norms and values that come with it.

Ultimately it sounds like these people are very selfish and I agree with the person who suggested it was pre-planned. They used you for a bit of extra sexual excitement rather than be a good host.

You can have a different opinion but I wouldn't bother with these 'friends' again. "

I find it odd that people are defending the couple.

Whether the tale is true or not, with the facts given it infers the couple were hoping the OP would join in. Very distasteful on the couple's part.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think they have the right to do what they want in their own home, you have the right to vent about it too.

Thank you AB

Their guests' visit wasn't pre planned.

I got that impression yeah, i do feel it was rude of them but like i said it's their home and hospitality can be the way they want it to be.

I do also suspect they might have wanted you to join in as well (like someone else mentioned).

I don't really agree hospitality is whatever you want it to be. Would anyone invite a couple over for swinging when their parents were staying over? Thought not. Would you do it it vanilla friends were staying over? Again, not. Why not? - because there are norms and values about hospitality and they don't go out the window just because the person stating over has a fab account.

I strongly suspect they wanted her to join in and didn't give a rats ass about whether she wanted to. It's the very definition of a pushy couple. Probably the most unattractive thing a swinging couple can be is pushy...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation.

Completely disagree there are cultural expectations about how one treats a guest. We had friends do a similar thing and now they complain because we won't visit them in their house anymore.

Cultural expectations?

When you offer hospitality to someone, thus making them your guest, there are certain norms and values that come with it.

Ultimately it sounds like these people are very selfish and I agree with the person who suggested it was pre-planned. They used you for a bit of extra sexual excitement rather than be a good host.

You can have a different opinion but I wouldn't bother with these 'friends' again.

I find it odd that people are defending the couple.

Whether the tale is true or not, with the facts given it infers the couple were hoping the OP would join in. Very distasteful on the couple's part."

I agree

Though I'm not defending the couple at all, but at the end of the day it's their house so its their rules whether we agree with their rules is another matter but what I still can't get my head round is why did she stay

If that was me I'd be off to the closest hotel or calling somebody to sort my locks out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Asked to join in

Yes, but as I've said I didn't want to be involved..."

I assessment, based on your post, that your friends thought you would join in?

At the very least they should put house guests before sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If this situation really did happen, if the couple who she now no longer sees or have an account on here really did exist, if she really was locked out of her house, if it really was the middle of winter and she'd managed to get 5 miles away from her house with no transport, if she didn't know the type of friends she kept were the type to invite strangers into their home to have sex with knowing she wasn't a swinger (at that time) not to mention try and wake her up and drag her to the play area and then leave the evidence laying all around the lounge.....then she had every right to be upset about it in the middle of last winter. But it's not healthy to keep those feelings for that long. In my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation.

Completely disagree there are cultural expectations about how one treats a guest. We had friends do a similar thing and now they complain because we won't visit them in their house anymore.

Cultural expectations?

When you offer hospitality to someone, thus making them your guest, there are certain norms and values that come with it.

Ultimately it sounds like these people are very selfish and I agree with the person who suggested it was pre-planned. They used you for a bit of extra sexual excitement rather than be a good host.

You can have a different opinion but I wouldn't bother with these 'friends' again.

I find it odd that people are defending the couple.

Whether the tale is true or not, with the facts given it infers the couple were hoping the OP would join in. Very distasteful on the couple's part.

I agree

If that was me I'd be off to the closest hotel or calling somebody to sort my locks out "

I'm genuinely surprised / interested where this idea about "their house, their rules" comes from? I've honestly never heard it before. It sounds very dodgy anyway. Where does it end?

I thought the unwritten rule was the make guests feel welcome and comfortable as a higher priority than you own pleasure.

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By *aramelMINXWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

"Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation.

True you could have gone home. "

To be fair I kinda agree with both sides... but in all honesty it does seem you asked a question someone has an opposing view n your bottom lip has come out..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

????????

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By *b coupleCouple
over a year ago

southampton

It depends on who? We have a lady friend who always has someone upstairs Whilst bringing new people home.

But kids! No way!

You never know now days.

Some strange people out there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Didn't read the replies, but the answer is your 2nd para.

Be grateful you had somewhere to stay, and stop sticking your nose in other peoples biz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Their house, their choice! It's just sex. If it were one of my friends and they complained the next day i just wouldn't ever invite them to stay again. But then none of my friends have ever complained when i have people over.

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation."

Fully agree. They were doing you a favour by letting you stay as you'd locked yourself out. It shouldn't affect their arrangements.

If they had been inviting you over for a social evening and then sent you off to bed while they fucked others, yes that would have been really off.

It seems like they thought they had gone out of their way for you and they should be able to get on with enjoying their night.

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

"If you were staying overnight , they should not have asked other people around . It shows a lack of manners and consideration for their guest .."

This. And possibly the person earlier who suggested they may have wanted you to join in could be correct. May not have been pre-planned but they could have seen an 'opportunity' and ran with it.

Either way, disrespectful to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I assume they know you have a profile on here . I would hazard a guess they just thought you would be ok with it as you play too. However I'd probably be a little cheesed off too if I were tired didn't want to be involved and wanted to sleep. Like you I would not have said anything either I would have gone to bed and done my best to sleep.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I assume they know you have a profile on here . I would hazard a guess they just thought you would be ok with it as you play too. However I'd probably be a little cheesed off too if I were tired didn't want to be involved and wanted to sleep. Like you I would not have said anything either I would have gone to bed and done my best to sleep. "

After a wank

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"to b e honest and this is just me

but reading through the thread, if everything you have said is true I cant help but wonder why you didn't just leave and get a hotel

why would you stay in a house where a guy has come into the room you was sleeping in and tried to drag you out of bed

There are no taxis or locksmiths in some of the deepest darkest parts of the country don't you know? The other swingers had to make their way by cart and oxen

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation.

Completely disagree there are cultural expectations about how one treats a guest. We had friends do a similar thing and now they complain because we won't visit them in their house anymore.

Cultural expectations?

When you offer hospitality to someone, thus making them your guest, there are certain norms and values that come with it.

Ultimately it sounds like these people are very selfish and I agree with the person who suggested it was pre-planned. They used you for a bit of extra sexual excitement rather than be a good host.

You can have a different opinion but I wouldn't bother with these 'friends' again.

I find it odd that people are defending the couple.

Whether the tale is true or not, with the facts given it infers the couple were hoping the OP would join in. Very distasteful on the couple's part.

I agree

If that was me I'd be off to the closest hotel or calling somebody to sort my locks out "

This!

As I've said, not something I'd ever think of doing or do but I'd not dictate how people behave in their home either.

Reminds me of a conversation I had with my dad following another insult from a white man in the street. I asked why he allowed himself to be spoken to like that? His response : you don't insult somebody in their own house.

Bearing in mind my parents were begged to come and rebuild after the war.

They could have left as could the op.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation.

Completely disagree there are cultural expectations about how one treats a guest. We had friends do a similar thing and now they complain because we won't visit them in their house anymore.

Cultural expectations?

When you offer hospitality to someone, thus making them your guest, there are certain norms and values that come with it.

Ultimately it sounds like these people are very selfish and I agree with the person who suggested it was pre-planned. They used you for a bit of extra sexual excitement rather than be a good host.

You can have a different opinion but I wouldn't bother with these 'friends' again.

I find it odd that people are defending the couple.

Whether the tale is true or not, with the facts given it infers the couple were hoping the OP would join in. Very distasteful on the couple's part.

I agree

If that was me I'd be off to the closest hotel or calling somebody to sort my locks out

This!

As I've said, not something I'd ever think of doing or do but I'd not dictate how people behave in their home either.

Bearing in mind my parents were begged to come and rebuild after the war.

They could have left as could the op."

Say what now??? So somebody said something racist to your dad who felt that he couldn't defend himself because he was in a foreign country?

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation.

Completely disagree there are cultural expectations about how one treats a guest. We had friends do a similar thing and now they complain because we won't visit them in their house anymore.

Cultural expectations?

When you offer hospitality to someone, thus making them your guest, there are certain norms and values that come with it.

Ultimately it sounds like these people are very selfish and I agree with the person who suggested it was pre-planned. They used you for a bit of extra sexual excitement rather than be a good host.

You can have a different opinion but I wouldn't bother with these 'friends' again.

I find it odd that people are defending the couple.

Whether the tale is true or not, with the facts given it infers the couple were hoping the OP would join in. Very distasteful on the couple's part.

I agree

If that was me I'd be off to the closest hotel or calling somebody to sort my locks out

I'm genuinely surprised / interested where this idea about "their house, their rules" comes from? I've honestly never heard it before. It sounds very dodgy anyway. Where does it end?

I thought the unwritten rule was the make guests feel welcome and comfortable as a higher priority than you own pleasure. "

You sound like my other half. Moves in, turns my house upside down, takes out my bulbs (too bright, disconnected my gas fire, tells my daughter off for brushing her teeth with running water and has the hump when I remind him it's my name on the deeds, not his.

He doesn't believe in my house my rules either, yet my children understood that from about the age of two!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation.

Completely disagree there are cultural expectations about how one treats a guest. We had friends do a similar thing and now they complain because we won't visit them in their house anymore.

Cultural expectations?

When you offer hospitality to someone, thus making them your guest, there are certain norms and values that come with it.

Ultimately it sounds like these people are very selfish and I agree with the person who suggested it was pre-planned. They used you for a bit of extra sexual excitement rather than be a good host.

You can have a different opinion but I wouldn't bother with these 'friends' again.

I find it odd that people are defending the couple.

Whether the tale is true or not, with the facts given it infers the couple were hoping the OP would join in. Very distasteful on the couple's part.

I agree

If that was me I'd be off to the closest hotel or calling somebody to sort my locks out

I'm genuinely surprised / interested where this idea about "their house, their rules" comes from? I've honestly never heard it before. It sounds very dodgy anyway. Where does it end?

I thought the unwritten rule was the make guests feel welcome and comfortable as a higher priority than you own pleasure.

He doesn't believe in my house my rules either, yet my children understood that from about the age of two!

Wow that's a lot of accusations that have nothing to do with what I said and definately do not represent my views.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation.

Completely disagree there are cultural expectations about how one treats a guest. We had friends do a similar thing and now they complain because we won't visit them in their house anymore.

Cultural expectations?

When you offer hospitality to someone, thus making them your guest, there are certain norms and values that come with it.

Ultimately it sounds like these people are very selfish and I agree with the person who suggested it was pre-planned. They used you for a bit of extra sexual excitement rather than be a good host.

You can have a different opinion but I wouldn't bother with these 'friends' again.

I find it odd that people are defending the couple.

Whether the tale is true or not, with the facts given it infers the couple were hoping the OP would join in. Very distasteful on the couple's part.

I agree

If that was me I'd be off to the closest hotel or calling somebody to sort my locks out

This!

As I've said, not something I'd ever think of doing or do but I'd not dictate how people behave in their home either.

Bearing in mind my parents were begged to come and rebuild after the war.

They could have left as could the op.

Say what now??? So somebody said something racist to your dad who felt that he couldn't defend himself because he was in a foreign country? "

Yep, that was the mentality in the 50s and 60s.

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

"Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation.

Which one would you choose?

I would have chosen not to moan about people doing as they pleased in their own home......Or walked home.

I would be soooo upset and concerned that I would order a cab to the nearest hotel. Or not bother making such a fuss at all. But that is just me

But then again, maybe your cellphone and credit cards were locked up in your house and that option too was not available to you; nightmare of a situtation; everything that coud go wrong, did go wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation.

Completely disagree there are cultural expectations about how one treats a guest. We had friends do a similar thing and now they complain because we won't visit them in their house anymore.

Cultural expectations?

When you offer hospitality to someone, thus making them your guest, there are certain norms and values that come with it.

Ultimately it sounds like these people are very selfish and I agree with the person who suggested it was pre-planned. They used you for a bit of extra sexual excitement rather than be a good host.

You can have a different opinion but I wouldn't bother with these 'friends' again.

I find it odd that people are defending the couple.

Whether the tale is true or not, with the facts given it infers the couple were hoping the OP would join in. Very distasteful on the couple's part.

I agree

If that was me I'd be off to the closest hotel or calling somebody to sort my locks out

This!

As I've said, not something I'd ever think of doing or do but I'd not dictate how people behave in their home either.

Bearing in mind my parents were begged to come and rebuild after the war.

They could have left as could the op.

Say what now??? So somebody said something racist to your dad who felt that he couldn't defend himself because he was in a foreign country?

Yep, that was the mentality in the 50s and 60s. "

Ok well I think that was classy of your dad but he had every right to tell that guy what a piece of crap he was.

Britian has been a nation of immigrants for over 2,000 years and that includes many colours. Especially, from a little thing called the British Empire that covered a quarter of the world. It's embarrassing when people calling themselves British forget that.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Your friend allowed you to stay in their home and how they conduct themselves in their home is their business.

It's not down to them to pander to your anxieties at the cost of their pleasure. If you knew what was about to happen then you should have removed yourself from the situation.

Completely disagree there are cultural expectations about how one treats a guest. We had friends do a similar thing and now they complain because we won't visit them in their house anymore.

Cultural expectations?

When you offer hospitality to someone, thus making them your guest, there are certain norms and values that come with it.

Ultimately it sounds like these people are very selfish and I agree with the person who suggested it was pre-planned. They used you for a bit of extra sexual excitement rather than be a good host.

You can have a different opinion but I wouldn't bother with these 'friends' again.

I find it odd that people are defending the couple.

Whether the tale is true or not, with the facts given it infers the couple were hoping the OP would join in. Very distasteful on the couple's part.

I agree

If that was me I'd be off to the closest hotel or calling somebody to sort my locks out

I'm genuinely surprised / interested where this idea about "their house, their rules" comes from? I've honestly never heard it before. It sounds very dodgy anyway. Where does it end?

I thought the unwritten rule was the make guests feel welcome and comfortable as a higher priority than you own pleasure.

He doesn't believe in my house my rules either, yet my children understood that from about the age of two!

Wow that's a lot of accusations that have nothing to do with what I said and definately do not represent my views."

I was responding to your comment of not understanding "their house, their rules". I honestly thought people understood that until my other half moved in.

One lives and learns.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm genuinely surprised / interested where this idea about "their house, their rules" comes from? I've honestly never heard it before. It sounds very dodgy anyway. Where does it end?

I thought the unwritten rule was the make guests feel welcome and comfortable as a higher priority than you own pleasure.

He doesn't believe in my house my rules either, yet my children understood that from about the age of two!

Wow that's a lot of accusations that have nothing to do with what I said and definately do not represent my views.

I was responding to your comment of not understanding "their house, their rules". I honestly thought people understood that until my other half moved in.

One lives and learns."

But they are different situations.

One is domestic living arrangement where, broadly speaking, the one who pays the bills makes the rules and anyone who doesn't like it can pay up or piss off.

The other is a temporary hospitality situation where formal payment would actually be insulting to the host.

Hence different rules apply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd suggest widening your circle of friends and in that situation id have removed myself from their home.

Call another friend who lived local and got yourself out.

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

I'm genuinely surprised / interested where this idea about "their house, their rules" comes from? I've honestly never heard it before. It sounds very dodgy anyway. Where does it end?

I thought the unwritten rule was the make guests feel welcome and comfortable as a higher priority than you own pleasure.

He doesn't believe in my house my rules either, yet my children understood that from about the age of two!

Wow that's a lot of accusations that have nothing to do with what I said and definately do not represent my views.

I was responding to your comment of not understanding "their house, their rules". I honestly thought people understood that until my other half moved in.

One lives and learns.

But they are different situations.

One is domestic living arrangement where, broadly speaking, the one who pays the bills makes the rules and anyone who doesn't like it can pay up or piss off.

The other is a temporary hospitality situation where formal payment would actually be insulting to the host.

Hence different rules apply. "

If I invite friends over for an overnight stay, whether they are swingers or not, then they are the focus of my attention and I would do whatever I could to make them feel comfortable

But, if someone just drops in, because they lost their keys / had too much to drink / etc, then I do not feel obliged to change the earlier plans I had made in my mind for a fun evening with someone else

Having said that, I wouldn't invite someone for sex whilst there was another person staying in my house but that is purely because I would feel uncomfortable knowing that my friend knows that I am having sex with someone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've looked at the opening post again & for what it's worth if I had been you I would have checked if another mate had a spare bed / called a locksmith / checked availability at a local hotel.

I wouldn't have stayed in that situation but then again I know none of my real friends would do that in the 1st place.

On the flip side if I had been your friend I wouldnt have offered you a bed in the 1st place if i was a remote chance I was going to have a fuck fest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm genuinely surprised / interested where this idea about "their house, their rules" comes from? I've honestly never heard it before. It sounds very dodgy anyway. Where does it end?

I thought the unwritten rule was the make guests feel welcome and comfortable as a higher priority than you own pleasure.

He doesn't believe in my house my rules either, yet my children understood that from about the age of two!

Wow that's a lot of accusations that have nothing to do with what I said and definately do not represent my views.

I was responding to your comment of not understanding "their house, their rules". I honestly thought people understood that until my other half moved in.

One lives and learns.

But they are different situations.

One is domestic living arrangement where, broadly speaking, the one who pays the bills makes the rules and anyone who doesn't like it can pay up or piss off.

The other is a temporary hospitality situation where formal payment would actually be insulting to the host.

Hence different rules apply.

If I invite friends over for an overnight stay, whether they are swingers or not, then they are the focus of my attention and I would do whatever I could to make them feel comfortable

Agree with all of that. My understanding was that the couple invited the swingers round after extending an offer of hospitality to the OP.

I wouldn't drop all plans for a friend who dropped in unexpectedly. But I wouldn't make new plans after they had, without asking them.

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By *urvybrunette91Woman
over a year ago

tidworth

Maybe as a couple, they had been considering another couple over, and got chatting to one they liked, and your impromptu sleepover was inconvenient, but they felt too uncomfortable with YOUR situation of losing your keys to ask you to leave.

It just all sounds a bit whiney. You should've been honest at the time, or not said anything at all. No point whining about being woken up 'numerous times' if you didn't tell them to go away and leave you to sleep the first time.

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

I'm genuinely surprised / interested where this idea about "their house, their rules" comes from? I've honestly never heard it before. It sounds very dodgy anyway. Where does it end?

I thought the unwritten rule was the make guests feel welcome and comfortable as a higher priority than you own pleasure.

He doesn't believe in my house my rules either, yet my children understood that from about the age of two!

Wow that's a lot of accusations that have nothing to do with what I said and definately do not represent my views.

I was responding to your comment of not understanding "their house, their rules". I honestly thought people understood that until my other half moved in.

One lives and learns.

But they are different situations.

One is domestic living arrangement where, broadly speaking, the one who pays the bills makes the rules and anyone who doesn't like it can pay up or piss off.

The other is a temporary hospitality situation where formal payment would actually be insulting to the host.

Hence different rules apply.

If I invite friends over for an overnight stay, whether they are swingers or not, then they are the focus of my attention and I would do whatever I could to make them feel comfortable

Agree with all of that. My understanding was that the couple invited the swingers round after extending an offer of hospitality to the OP.

I wouldn't drop all plans for a friend who dropped in unexpectedly. But I wouldn't make new plans after they had, without asking them. "

if I had plans in place and someone asked to come round as a favour I would ask if they could come later or warn them I have plans.

If the person was already in my house then I wouldn't have made those plans. She wasn't a swinger, she just wanted somewhere to stay for the night and they made plans AFTER she got there. Pretty shitty I think.

However OP.. Middle of winter?! Seriously you either hold major long term grudges or this thread was just attention seeking. You already said you socialised again with them after the event so it obviously didn't traumatise you that much.

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

...

If I invite friends over for an overnight stay, whether they are swingers or not, then they are the focus of my attention and I would do whatever I could to make them feel comfortable

Agree with all of that. My understanding was that the couple invited the swingers round after extending an offer of hospitality to the OP.

I wouldn't drop all plans for a friend who dropped in unexpectedly. But I wouldn't make new plans after they had, without asking them. "

Agree, if that was the case. But couples (and this was a couple) generally first make such plans between themselves before picking up the phone and inviting others. Maybe that is what their intention was and this woman just dropped in after having lost her keys

I find this an odd situation; maybe, her wallet was with her keys and therefore could not go to a cheap B&B. But I saw no mention of her making frantic phone calls to card companies asking them to cancel her cards. Who knows what actually happened; only her and this couple know what happened

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not something we'd do if we had a guest staying, maybe we're just too polite

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Swinging while someone else is in your house - poor etiquette?