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Amusing...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

This has happened twice now and due to the stubbornness and some what arrogance of some on here they fail to see the point.

So a guy sends an initial polite message doing as they ask. Recent picture, profile wrote out.. well worded message. Correct age range.. you get the idea.

Anyway, they read the message and you end up leaving it a couple of days. You don't wish to come across as pushy but just send a cheeky follow up message. "Was my message not for you or just busy etc". They either reply back with something about too many messages blah blah or just ignore it.

So how is it that it escalates to the point you are trying to explain it takes a simple no thanks (even copy and pasted) rather than them sending a long winded message about why they have no replied?? Why spend 5 mins doing that when those 5 mins could have been used effectively to inform many of this 150+ messages they speak of and actually acknowledge people?? Frustrating if anything.

One woman recently told me she ignored my message as "it looked copied and pasted" so a guy can take the time and effort and still gets no where.. if she only had chance to read it hey. Bah humbug!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This has happened twice now and due to the stubbornness and some what arrogance of some on here they fail to see the point.

So a guy sends an initial polite message doing as they ask. Recent picture, profile wrote out.. well worded message. Correct age range.. you get the idea.

Anyway, they read the message and you end up leaving it a couple of days. You don't wish to come across as pushy but just send a cheeky follow up message. "Was my message not for you or just busy etc". They either reply back with something about too many messages blah blah or just ignore it.

So how is it that it escalates to the point you are trying to explain it takes a simple no thanks (even copy and pasted) rather than them sending a long winded message about why they have no replied?? Why spend 5 mins doing that when those 5 mins could have been used effectively to inform many of this 150+ messages they speak of and actually acknowledge people?? Frustrating if anything.

One woman recently told me she ignored my message as "it looked copied and pasted" so a guy can take the time and effort and still gets no where.. if she only had chance to read it hey. Bah humbug! "
I so agree. far too many rude ppl who dont bother to read messages let alone answer any. we answer every message we recieve ....... and guess what its not difficult, most are just lazy ...

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

why is your profile any different to the hundreds and hundreds of other guys..

why do you stand out?

and they read your message, or one of them reads your message, THEY CHOOSE NOT TO DELETE IT, so why the need to send them a cheeky/sarky message. They may be waiting for the other to read it.

sorry not being rude, but what did you expect when you returned to the site? was it not this way before, you left and chose to return.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yeah there are.. but my point is they rather have a fall out and look as if they come out on top in it, than use that time better placed to those initial polite messages.

They complain about being abused, yet mostly bring it on themselves.

Takes 2 to tango...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"why is your profile any different to the hundreds and hundreds of other guys..

why do you stand out?

and they read your message, or one of them reads your message, THEY CHOOSE NOT TO DELETE IT, so why the need to send them a cheeky/sarky message. They may be waiting for the other to read it.

sorry not being rude, but what did you expect when you returned to the site? was it not this way before, you left and chose to return.

"

A cheeky ask incase they had forgotten or swamped by too many messages. Some naturally forget.. but when THEY become abusive and make excuses, why not actually think that time better spent avoiding further confrontation.

An easy thing to understand if you just try to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they havnt replied to the first message why send them another? They obviously dont want you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry that should have said the dont want to meet you x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If they havnt replied to the first message why send them another? They obviously dont want you."

Because some people like myself read messages on the phone and reply later, Some people work and don't have time.. Not replying right away does nto always mean not interested.

Again you missed what my point is.

Spend 10 mins replying to nasty messages or spend that 10 mins contacting those that deserve it to say no thanks. Sounds like they just love the attention it brings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If they havnt replied to the first message why send them another? They obviously dont want you.

Because some people like myself read messages on the phone and reply later, Some people work and don't have time.. Not replying right away does nto always mean not interested.

Again you missed what my point is.

Spend 10 mins replying to nasty messages or spend that 10 mins contacting those that deserve it to say no thanks. Sounds like they just love the attention it brings. "

Look,you choose to send the emails no one has to reply to them!

If your are sending emails that people are ignoting then you are sending them reminders you are going to appear pushy and people are going to get narked!

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"

Spend 10 mins replying to nasty messages or spend that 10 mins contacting those that deserve it to say no thanks. Sounds like they just love the attention it brings. "

I agree with that I can't see the point either

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If they havnt replied to the first message why send them another? They obviously dont want you.

Because some people like myself read messages on the phone and reply later, Some people work and don't have time.. Not replying right away does nto always mean not interested.

Again you missed what my point is.

Spend 10 mins replying to nasty messages or spend that 10 mins contacting those that deserve it to say no thanks. Sounds like they just love the attention it brings.

Look,you choose to send the emails no one has to reply to them!

If your are sending emails that people are ignoting then you are sending them reminders you are going to appear pushy and people are going to get narked!"

Obviously. But AGAIN I'm saying why are they avoiding that very confrontational thing and just showing some small piece of acknowledgement in saying no thanks. Manners cost nothing. Just because it's the internet doesn't mean you can just forget them.

Sorry if I was brought up to treat people how they treat me. Seems ignorance is what people prefer...

Be ignorant then spend 10 mins telling someone why they haven't replied. Or be polite, and save the hassle and come out looking better. I know which i prefer in people.

I'm leaving it at that.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I agree to a point.....but.....why do they answer your second mail? Do you send the second one as a " you are ignorant and havn't replied" type of mail? in which case some people might feel the need to defend themselves.

If us answering a mail is timed by the sender, and they are pushy enough to send a second one before we get a chance to answer the first, they would get a "no thanks " mail back without us even looking at their profile.

If they are that impatient/pushy, then we wouldn't want to meet them anyway.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"This has happened twice now ...."

Get use to it... it's gonna happen a lot more!

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay


"This has happened twice now and due to the stubbornness and some what arrogance of some on here they fail to see the point.

So a guy sends an initial polite message doing as they ask. Recent picture, profile wrote out.. well worded message. Correct age range.. you get the idea.

Anyway, they read the message and you end up leaving it a couple of days. You don't wish to come across as pushy but just send a cheeky follow up message. "Was my message not for you or just busy etc". They either reply back with something about too many messages blah blah or just ignore it.

So how is it that it escalates to the point you are trying to explain it takes a simple no thanks (even copy and pasted) rather than them sending a long winded message about why they have no replied?? Why spend 5 mins doing that when those 5 mins could have been used effectively to inform many of this 150+ messages they speak of and actually acknowledge people?? Frustrating if anything.

One woman recently told me she ignored my message as "it looked copied and pasted" so a guy can take the time and effort and still gets no where.. if she only had chance to read it hey. Bah humbug! I so agree. far too many rude ppl who dont bother to read messages let alone answer any. we answer every message we recieve ....... and guess what its not difficult, most are just lazy ... "

Or......they get more messages than you?

If you received 50 messages in a day would you answer them all?....if so, how do you find the time?

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside


".......

They complain about being abused, yet mostly bring it on themselves.

Takes 2 to tango..."

This is the comment that worried me a little!

Because it sounds like you are saying it's ok to send abusive messages back to people who only respond to your 2nd message asking why they haven't bothered to reply to your initial one.

If they are sending you an abusive mail then don't respond to it but report it instead and block them, then you don't waste anymore of your own time on people who won't be meeting you anyway.

As usual, just my own wee opinion.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Actually... bollox the that stuff about how many messages per day women get. We do at first.... but eventually it is a much more managable number (unless you go on cam in chat or put a "fuck me now" on your meet today request).

It's more the day in day out same ol' shit... imho.

I come on here for fun... not to do things I don't find fun and certainly not to do things I don't find fun because some fucker else tells me I should!

If I choose to write a reply to a second or third message it's because I want to. If I choose to delete the next 20 messages without replying, it's because I want to.

If someone wants to call me lazy and rude because I didn't do what YOU wanted... so what... I have a few four letter words to describe what I think of you.... and if you send me a follow-up message asking why I haven't replied to the first one, you may get to hear a few of them.

Now I have spent time posting this... that's less time I have to spend answering mail... so it's YOUR FAULT a bunch of guys are gonna get their messages deleted. I hope you are pleased with yourself!

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


" You don't wish to come across as pushy but just send a cheeky follow up message. "Was my message not for you or just busy etc". They either reply back with something about too many messages blah blah or just ignore it.

"

If you don't want to come across as pushy, stop sending second messages, cheeky or otherwise.

This will also solve whatever the rest of your essay was about, I expect.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Or......they get more messages than you?

If you received 50 messages in a day would you answer them all?....if so, how do you find the time?"

You have quoted both me and the next message so not sure who you are asking that too... but as stated copying and pasting no thanks, takes brief seconds. That is for those you have no interest in obviously. Those you do wish to speak to.. do as you please. Simple and effective.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


".......

They complain about being abused, yet mostly bring it on themselves.

Takes 2 to tango...

This is the comment that worried me a little!

Because it sounds like you are saying it's ok to send abusive messages back to people who only respond to your 2nd message asking why they haven't bothered to reply to your initial one.

If they are sending you an abusive mail then don't respond to it but report it instead and block them, then you don't waste anymore of your own time on people who won't be meeting you anyway.

As usual, just my own wee opinion. "

I'm simply stating many many people complain that they get abuse, but I can guess (not agree with) that most would come from ignorance/lack of manners/busy/call it what you will. That could easily be avoided.

For those who think this is me moaning and bitching, I'm just commenting on something I have seen and could be avoided.. unless of course people enjoy the attention of it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


" You don't wish to come across as pushy but just send a cheeky follow up message. "Was my message not for you or just busy etc". They either reply back with something about too many messages blah blah or just ignore it.

If you don't want to come across as pushy, stop sending second messages, cheeky or otherwise.

This will also solve whatever the rest of your essay was about, I expect."

"Essay" Sorry should it have been a one liner?!

Maybe try and understand the fact I am stating WHY so many seem to get abuse and could be avoided than my own personal gain here.

Actually had a few messages agreeing with me on this from both males and females. Guess i am not alone on these thoughts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

So a guy sends an initial polite message doing as they ask. Recent picture, profile wrote out.. well worded message. Correct age range.. you get the idea. Anyway, they read the message and you end up leaving it a couple of days. You don't wish to come across as pushy but just send a cheeky follow up message. "Was my message not for you or just busy etc". "

If I read a message and DON'T delete it (or reply immediately with a speedy 'thanks but no thanks') it is usually because I AM interested in meeting the guy. I don't hurry to reply to him, usually because I don't wish to risk killing his interest, by sending a less-well-worded message back.

Unfortunately, any 'cheeky follow up' message after only a couple of days would completely kill my interest. That is pushy.

We all have lives outside of swinging, meets already arranged, etc. To push someone for an answer more quickly than they are comfortable with just turns a 'maybe' into a definite 'no', in my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Actually... bollox the that stuff about how many messages per day women get. We do at first.... but eventually it is a much more managable number (unless you go on cam in chat or put a "fuck me now" on your meet today request).

It's more the day in day out same ol' shit... imho.

I come on here for fun... not to do things I don't find fun and certainly not to do things I don't find fun because some fucker else tells me I should!

If I choose to write a reply to a second or third message it's because I want to. If I choose to delete the next 20 messages without replying, it's because I want to.

If someone wants to call me lazy and rude because I didn't do what YOU wanted... so what... I have a few four letter words to describe what I think of you.... and if you send me a follow-up message asking why I haven't replied to the first one, you may get to hear a few of them.

Now I have spent time posting this... that's less time I have to spend answering mail... so it's YOUR FAULT a bunch of guys are gonna get their messages deleted. I hope you are pleased with yourself!"

same here lol...was reading a particularly long forum thread earlier and when finally noticed I had some msgs went to read them. There were 2 from the same guy 10 minutes apart, the second one saying i know you are online so why not read and answer me!!!!

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By *ardybumsCouple
over a year ago

peekin under duvet is it safe?


"Actually... bollox the that stuff about how many messages per day women get. We do at first.... but eventually it is a much more managable number (unless you go on cam in chat or put a "fuck me now" on your meet today request).

It's more the day in day out same ol' shit... imho.

I come on here for fun... not to do things I don't find fun and certainly not to do things I don't find fun because some fucker else tells me I should!

If I choose to write a reply to a second or third message it's because I want to. If I choose to delete the next 20 messages without replying, it's because I want to.

If someone wants to call me lazy and rude because I didn't do what YOU wanted... so what... I have a few four letter words to describe what I think of you.... and if you send me a follow-up message asking why I haven't replied to the first one, you may get to hear a few of them.

Now I have spent time posting this... that's less time I have to spend answering mail... so it's YOUR FAULT a bunch of guys are gonna get their messages deleted. I hope you are pleased with yourself!

same here lol...was reading a particularly long forum thread earlier and when finally noticed I had some msgs went to read them. There were 2 from the same guy 10 minutes apart, the second one saying i know you are online so why not read and answer me!!!!"

haha , that will get him far !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I often open messages that I didn't realise were there as I was replying to one previously....the delete and go to next unread option....sometimes I answer them straight away, sometimes I jump back to the forum without looking. And the last 4 I replied to with a thanks, but sorry no....I got abuse for. I will answer what I like, when I like thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so...you get a few flyers through your door asking if you want double glazing, life insurance or to have your garden mowed and you politely respond to all of these with a 'no thanks' do you? or do you put them in the bin?

the ethos on here is the same....my profile is my home, you put your mail in my box, i don't ask for it...your choice....if I want my garden tended I'll reply, if I don't want my bushes pruned by you, I won't

you're selling...i may or may not be in the market for what it is you're selling.

i'm selling, you may or may not be interested in what i'm selling.

nb: the word "selling" no means is intended to infer that I am actually selling me....just the idea, no actual monies exchanges hands, gets shoved down g-strings or left on the dresser.....

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"

If I read a message and DON'T delete it (or reply immediately with a speedy 'thanks but no thanks') it is usually because I AM interested in meeting the guy. I don't hurry to reply to him, usually because I don't wish to risk killing his interest, by sending a less-well-worded message back.

Unfortunately, any 'cheeky follow up' message after only a couple of days would completely kill my interest. That is pushy.

We all have lives outside of swinging, meets already arranged, etc. To push someone for an answer more quickly than they are comfortable with just turns a 'maybe' into a definite 'no', in my opinion."
You know what, couldn't have put it better myself! This is actually something I am guilty of, sometimes it depends on my mood, might have been a heavy day in the office and not really in the mood to speak but do intend to in the future, then later you forget (or should I say I do) and end up having a conversation with a friend already made, hence message lost to the eye and therefore, to the mind, I don't do it on purpose! There are many reasons why some messages don't get answered to I'm afraid

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we reply to every message we get...we don't get this ignore, delete palaver...but that just us...each to their own....and so far...no disgruntled messages...we try to come across on here exactly how we are in life...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I (as a single male - and possibly ugly too, ha!) get far less messages than even women without pictures or profile text and yet if someone messages me who I'm not interested in, I don't always reply.

Such is life, literally 90% of the threads on this forum are single blokes moaning about being ignored - theres no rule to say you have to reply...as with someone you meet in real life, if you send them a text/call them and they don't answer, calling again won't make any difference - actually it will, they'll be even less keen!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I often open messages that I didn't realise were there as I was replying to one previously....the delete and go to next unread option....sometimes I answer them straight away, sometimes I jump back to the forum without looking. And the last 4 I replied to with a thanks, but sorry no....I got abuse for. I will answer what I like, when I like thanks."

Delighted for you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I see that every single message in the past hour has missed the entire point. That was raised in the very first message I posted.

No one is telling you when you can reply if at all. Just think about those you do reply to.. would seem they rather argue and fight their corner with someone they have no intention of meeting, then use as an excuse to others "I don't have time to reply to all messages".

No 'cos you just spent it in some pointless argument.

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

this has been covered on tons of other posts and also covered under frequently asked questions . people owe you NOTHING on the site ! there are NO garentees that every message you send will be replied to ,and no site rule that you are obliged to replie to any and every person who decides to message you .

if people are interested theyll get back to you ,if not then they obviously they arent . why waste your time,efforts and potentially put yourself in a bad light by messaging them again ?? you obviously awear the outcome isnt going to be favourable . i know putting my hand on a hot plate would be a painfull exsperience so you know what ...i dont do it lol !!

theres plenty of other folks on the site learn from it and just move on

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"this has been covered on tons of other posts and also covered under frequently asked questions . people owe you NOTHING on the site ! there are NO garentees that every message you send will be replied to ,and no site rule that you are obliged to replie to any and every person who decides to message you .

if people are interested theyll get back to you ,if not then they obviously they arent . why waste your time,efforts and potentially put yourself in a bad light by messaging them again ?? you obviously awear the outcome isnt going to be favourable . i know putting my hand on a hot plate would be a painfull exsperience so you know what ...i dont do it lol !!

theres plenty of other folks on the site learn from it and just move on "

The thread title is called "amusing" not "why am I being ignored".

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton


"I see that every single message in the past hour has missed the entire point. That was raised in the very first message I posted.

No one is telling you when you can reply if at all. Just think about those you do reply to.. would seem they rather argue and fight their corner with someone they have no intention of meeting, then use as an excuse to others "I don't have time to reply to all messages".

No 'cos you just spent it in some pointless argument.

"

if you know thats gonna happen when you message them a SECOND time after no replie to your first ,why do you do it !!!! ???? either you like winding folks up to get the bite or enjoy the confrountation?????

plus maybe look closer to home as previously posted how is the toe of the second mail you send ? do the people state on profile they dont replie unless they are interested and are you ignoring that ?? after all you said its happened a cpl of times and the constant in both is YOU

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

No matter what anyone says to try and make a single guys understand what it is like to receive shite messages day after day after day, to the point where many just lose the will to reply to anything even bordering on being dross or plain ol' just not suitable… I have a suggestion.

Change your profile heading to “Straight guy curious about meeting another guy” and for the first few lines of your profile have “Never let a man touch me before but I am curious as to what it feels like to suck or be sucked. I may even consider anal”. Finally add a photo of a buff guy wearing tightie-whities in an erotic pose.

Leave your profile like that for one month and if at the end of it you still want to send out ‘thanks but no thanks’ messages to everyone who sends you a message…. you have the right to moan… just a little bit.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I see that every single message in the past hour has missed the entire point. That was raised in the very first message I posted.

No one is telling you when you can reply if at all. Just think about those you do reply to.. would seem they rather argue and fight their corner with someone they have no intention of meeting, then use as an excuse to others "I don't have time to reply to all messages".

No 'cos you just spent it in some pointless argument.

if you know thats gonna happen when you message them a SECOND time after no replie to your first ,why do you do it !!!! ???? either you like winding folks up to get the bite or enjoy the confrountation?????

plus maybe look closer to home as previously posted how is the toe of the second mail you send ? do the people state on profile they dont replie unless they are interested and are you ignoring that ?? after all you said its happened a cpl of times and the constant in both is YOU "

If someone states on their profile if I do not reply after first message, then obviously I will respect that. Some of us read profiles and adhere to what they say. Asking politely if it was something I said or something else when you fit the requirements on their profile is not overly pushy surely? I have sent a follow up message to a few and more often that not, they have been polite in saying they forgot etc. Just because I made this subject and stated about being curious about a few things, people need not assume I demand a reply from all. i understand how that part of the website works.

The title is amusing.. for a reason. As stated in previous post.

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

going on the tone of your replies here not hard to see why people second replies to you arent going to be very favourable .

as for the comment the post is titled amusing ...well its obvious you dont find it amusing by way you decribe the people ! lol!!

not doing yourself any fgavours with the attitude

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"No matter what anyone says to try and make a single guys understand what it is like to receive shite messages day after day after day, to the point where many just lose the will to reply to anything even bordering on being dross or plain ol' just not suitable… I have a suggestion.

Change your profile heading to “Straight guy curious about meeting another guy” and for the first few lines of your profile have “Never let a man touch me before but I am curious as to what it feels like to suck or be sucked. I may even consider anal”. Finally add a photo of a buff guy wearing tightie-whities in an erotic pose.

Leave your profile like that for one month and if at the end of it you still want to send out ‘thanks but no thanks’ messages to everyone who sends you a message…. you have the right to moan… just a little bit.

"

I reply to all. Seriously. Someone takes the time to contact me, i would appreciate it. Not abuse it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


" going on the tone of your replies here not hard to see why people second replies to you arent going to be very favourable .

as for the comment the post is titled amusing ...well its obvious you dont find it amusing by way you decribe the people ! lol!!

not doing yourself any fgavours with the attitude "

Possible due to the constant patronising rolling of the eyes. I have read what you have said on here, maybe read mine and see where I am coming from?

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside


" going on the tone of your replies here not hard to see why people second replies to you arent going to be very favourable .

as for the comment the post is titled amusing ...well its obvious you dont find it amusing by way you decribe the people ! lol!!

not doing yourself any fgavours with the attitude

Possible due to the constant patronising rolling of the eyes. I have read what you have said on here, maybe read mine and see where I am coming from? "

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton


"I see that every single message in the past hour has missed the entire point. That was raised in the very first message I posted.

No one is telling you when you can reply if at all. Just think about those you do reply to.. would seem they rather argue and fight their corner with someone they have no intention of meeting, then use as an excuse to others "I don't have time to reply to all messages".

No 'cos you just spent it in some pointless argument.

if you know thats gonna happen when you message them a SECOND time after no replie to your first ,why do you do it !!!! ???? either you like winding folks up to get the bite or enjoy the confrountation?????

plus maybe look closer to home as previously posted how is the toe of the second mail you send ? do the people state on profile they dont replie unless they are interested and are you ignoring that ?? after all you said its happened a cpl of times and the constant in both is YOU

If someone states on their profile if I do not reply after first message, then obviously I will respect that. Some of us read profiles and adhere to what they say. Asking politely if it was something I said or something else when you fit the requirements on their profile is not overly pushy surely? I have sent a follow up message to a few and more often that not, they have been polite in saying they forgot etc. Just because I made this subject and stated about being curious about a few things, people need not assume I demand a reply from all. i understand how that part of the website works.

The title is amusing.. for a reason. As stated in previous post. "

ohhhhh so now its a polite follow up message NOT a cheeky one as u first said

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"No matter what anyone says to try and make a single guys understand what it is like to receive shite messages day after day after day, to the point where many just lose the will to reply to anything even bordering on being dross or plain ol' just not suitable… I have a suggestion.

Change your profile heading to “Straight guy curious about meeting another guy” and for the first few lines of your profile have “Never let a man touch me before but I am curious as to what it feels like to suck or be sucked. I may even consider anal”. Finally add a photo of a buff guy wearing tightie-whities in an erotic pose.

Leave your profile like that for one month and if at the end of it you still want to send out ‘thanks but no thanks’ messages to everyone who sends you a message…. you have the right to moan… just a little bit.

I reply to all. Seriously. Someone takes the time to contact me, i would appreciate it. Not abuse it. "

It's easy to say that when you don't have to do it.

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside


" going on the tone of your replies here not hard to see why people second replies to you arent going to be very favourable .

as for the comment the post is titled amusing ...well its obvious you dont find it amusing by way you decribe the people ! lol!!

not doing yourself any fgavours with the attitude

Possible due to the constant patronising rolling of the eyes. I have read what you have said on here, maybe read mine and see where I am coming from?

"

Well someone had to do it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

It's easy to say that when you don't have to do it."

True but then I mean it. Off to bed soon, but will no doubt be back on tomorrow to reply to those commenting in here...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


" going on the tone of your replies here not hard to see why people second replies to you arent going to be very favourable .

as for the comment the post is titled amusing ...well its obvious you dont find it amusing by way you decribe the people ! lol!!

not doing yourself any fgavours with the attitude

Possible due to the constant patronising rolling of the eyes. I have read what you have said on here, maybe read mine and see where I am coming from?

Well someone had to do it! "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I see that every single message in the past hour has missed the entire point. That was raised in the very first message I posted.

No one is telling you when you can reply if at all. Just think about those you do reply to.. would seem they rather argue and fight their corner with someone they have no intention of meeting, then use as an excuse to others "I don't have time to reply to all messages".

No 'cos you just spent it in some pointless argument.

if you know thats gonna happen when you message them a SECOND time after no replie to your first ,why do you do it !!!! ???? either you like winding folks up to get the bite or enjoy the confrountation?????

plus maybe look closer to home as previously posted how is the toe of the second mail you send ? do the people state on profile they dont replie unless they are interested and are you ignoring that ?? after all you said its happened a cpl of times and the constant in both is YOU

If someone states on their profile if I do not reply after first message, then obviously I will respect that. Some of us read profiles and adhere to what they say. Asking politely if it was something I said or something else when you fit the requirements on their profile is not overly pushy surely? I have sent a follow up message to a few and more often that not, they have been polite in saying they forgot etc. Just because I made this subject and stated about being curious about a few things, people need not assume I demand a reply from all. i understand how that part of the website works.

The title is amusing.. for a reason. As stated in previous post.

ohhhhh so now its a polite follow up message NOT a cheeky one as u first said "

Apologies was unsure you wanted a full run down of all the messages I have followed up with!

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

just pointing out your story has now changed putting yourself in a more favourable light . big difference from sending a cheeky smart arse second message and the polite message you now"say" you send. if you send meessage likes your replies here ,trying to be clever they people arent going to be messaging you back begging you to their bed are they !! lol .

it was the tone of your replies here before i even posted that i was commenting on . and if alil emoctecon is gonna upset up in my messages then i advised toughen up lol !!

just ask yourself at the end of the day is what you doing working for you ???? answer you have given is no it aint !! so either change what your doing or stop bleating .

as i said plenty of other people on the site so just put it behind you and move on!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"so...you get a few flyers through your door asking if you want double glazing, life insurance or to have your garden mowed and you politely respond to all of these with a 'no thanks' do you? or do you put them in the bin?

the ethos on here is the same....my profile is my home, you put your mail in my box, i don't ask for it...your choice....if I want my garden tended I'll reply, if I don't want my bushes pruned by you, I won't

you're selling...i may or may not be in the market for what it is you're selling.

i'm selling, you may or may not be interested in what i'm selling.

nb: the word "selling" no means is intended to infer that I am actually selling me....just the idea, no actual monies exchanges hands, gets shoved down g-strings or left on the dresser....."

Not that I disagree, because people CAN do what they like with the messages they receive and that's fine by me, and I'm not supporting any case here.

...I just thought your analogy was a bit flawed, lol. Your profile here isn't really your home, its more like a tent you've put up in a field of horny men. You put your tent up here because you knew there were horny men, and you knew you wanted some of them (yes SOME, lol). If you don't want those horny men to put their flyers () through your door, you could pack your tent up and leave!

Think I just have a thing against people who really do put flyers through your door... that really grates my goat as it is unsolicited

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"just pointing out your story has now changed putting yourself in a more favourable light . big difference from sending a cheeky smart arse second message and the polite message you now"say" you send. if you send meessage likes your replies here ,trying to be clever they people arent going to be messaging you back begging you to their bed are they !! lol .

it was the tone of your replies here before i even posted that i was commenting on . and if alil emoctecon is gonna upset up in my messages then i advised toughen up lol !!

just ask yourself at the end of the day is what you doing working for you ???? answer you have given is no it aint !! so either change what your doing or stop bleating .

as i said plenty of other people on the site so just put it behind you and move on!!"

Some are cheeky some are polite, makes no difference really when that is not the point of me making this thread. While I appreciate what you are saying maybe including what I have said in the very first message has given the wrong idea. I'm stating from experience of using a second message what has come from it all...

So maybe I do answer back and that may come across as a bit sarcastic, it's how I tend to be if that works against me then so be it. My replies (or lack of them) is no baring on what made me start this thread.. I'm aware you will never get 100% feedback, such is life.

If you can sense how I am coming across in a message, I can also sense how you are using icons. Works both ways.

Bed time.. night !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would try and get it out of your head trying to understand or make excuses for why people dont answer your messages. Yes you can mail them again, and yes they may send you a message back saying, sorry I had a lot of messages to wade through, or I was busy at work etc etc, but these people may just not want to be blunt and say no thanks.

dont put pressure on people. If they want to meet you, they will message and ask for a date, time and place. Dont torture yourself with why they havent messaged.

Everyone has different reasons for not responding to messages. In my instance I work a 9 -5 job, my partner doesnt. He is self employed and im afraid that business does have to come before swinging. When we started swinging we agreed that we wouldnt waste anyones time and set up dates that we couldnt make. Unfortunately with work issues, sometimes things are very last minute for us. Thats why clubs are essential for us because we can decide at the last minute whether we go or not.

dont take things personally, just carry on sending your nice messages and you will succeed and have a good time

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

so makes no difference if ur second message is polite or sarcastic to get a short sharp replie .... well you said its happened twice .so that means youve sent one of each then. hardly enough to make a conclusion from is it?? also hardly think anyone would post blasting people way you did just on the basis of two responses !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/12/10 23:57:19]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"so makes no difference if ur second message is polite or sarcastic to get a short sharp replie ..."

OP, Am I missing something here? Just don't send second messages! Maybe they did/didn't reply to your first message. Let it go!! There are millions of swingers in the UK - try chatting to the next ones!

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"

OP, Am I missing something here? Just don't send second messages! "

I don't think he's receptive to that point of _iew.

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By *arlot ScarlettWoman
over a year ago

Bolton

I can get a message every 30 seconds when I'm on line - I delete 99% immediately and reply only to people that interest me - it says so on my profile. I still get narky follow up messages, why waste your time? It's not rocket science - no reply = not interested so leave alone! Z

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"

. Asking politely if it was something I said or something else when you fit the requirements on their profile is not overly pushy surely? I have sent a follow up message to a few and more often that not, they have been polite in saying they forgot etc. Just because I made this subject and stated about being curious about a few things, people need not assume I demand a reply from all. i understand how that part of the website works.

The title is amusing.. for a reason. As stated in previous post. "

Yes, it is pushy for me....we would rather have a person who will wait for an answer to their first message. If they send another asking why the first one hasn't been answered yet, we wouldn't even check out their profile, it would be a straight np thanks.

As for people meeting others requirements....lots of people meet ours, but it still doesn't all of them will get a meet....but the people who have had meets with us have been none pushy people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

keep seeing that word pushy people i must have read that over 10 times over last 4 days here on profiles and posts . Is it people just being over friendly and not taking no.?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can get a message every 30 seconds when I'm on line - I delete 99% immediately and reply only to people that interest me - it says so on my profile. I still get narky follow up messages, why waste your time? It's not rocket science - no reply = not interested so leave alone! Z"

Absolutely true...and to the OP...please see that from a woman's perspective...you are coming across in a very negative way...but are very helpfully clarifying to us women the thought processes of a "PUSHY" guy...cheers for that...

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"keep seeing that word pushy people i must have read that over 10 times over last 4 days here on profiles and posts . Is it people just being over friendly and not taking no.?"

The same thing?

People who won't wait for an answer or won't take no for an answer is the same thing....pushy.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"I can get a message every 30 seconds when I'm on line - I delete 99% immediately and reply only to people that interest me - it says so on my profile. I still get narky follow up messages, why waste your time? It's not rocket science - no reply = not interested so leave alone! Z

Absolutely true...and to the OP...please see that from a woman's perspective...you are coming across in a very negative way...but are very helpfully clarifying to us women the thought processes of a "PUSHY" guy...cheers for that... "

I think thats the thing, the OP has had mails back that obviously don't like him sending a second mail when the first hasn't been answered....he can also see on this thread that most women and couples don't actually like second mails that way and think men are pushy that do it.

It is up to him wether he takes any notice and stop doing it, or carry on taking the chance it may get him a meet by being pushy, but I suppose he has to be aware that people might answer a " cheeky" message the same way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wrote and deleted last night.

I deleted to avoid giving advice where it is clearly NOT wanted.

Your opinions is not wanted. You are being TOLD that people on here are ignorant and arrogant.

You are being TOLD that if messages are not replied to , the other party will be goaded into a 'moralistic' debate about how they would have been so much wiser to have done things anothers way in the first place. Then if umbrage is taken; if emotions run high, wonderment and confusion can be used to feign innocence.

Anger arises against others - that they , won't , don't , can't see and do things anothers way.

It is not liked that people choose to use the site according to their rules on protocol.

Their needs are of no consequence; nor their individuality or differences. If these are seen they are not accepted.

I imagine , that when driving down the road there exists a certain type of person that NEEDS to drive YOUR car.

They don't pride themselves on their own safe driving. They HAVE to parp others or give some finger gestures or moralistic argument about how you are a shit driver.

For some it's the only way to overlook their inadequacies or failures ( they may not even have any. They may indeed be good at many things but the thought of not being the best or of encountering rejection are too much for them to handle and so they criticise and blame - Teflons all of them. Nothing sticks. it's always someone elses fault )

You know those fantastically creepy thrillers where the bully just HAS to tell someone how 'wrong' they are and that they would love to stop hitting you but it's all YOUR fault. You make them hit you? I get that feeling from the stinking psychosis of people that needs to tell others where they are going wrong and if insufficient satisfaction is gained it goes public to let everyone know how wonderfully helpful they tried to be to the trolls they have to endure.

This is a contact site. Not a church social.

Pass the scones vicar but allow me to SHOW you how you SHOULD have buttered them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"so makes no difference if ur second message is polite or sarcastic to get a short sharp replie ...

OP, Am I missing something here? Just don't send second messages! Maybe they did/didn't reply to your first message. Let it go!! There are millions of swingers in the UK - try chatting to the next ones!"

Yeah might contact someone at the other end of the country... There might well be millions (ok an exaggeration) but once you take into account personal taste on both sides, locality, age etc soon narrows down the numbers... hence following up with another message, just incase. Which has actually worked out in my favour on numerous occasions.

So thanks for all your replies everyone, whether you choose to look down at whatever I have had to say as just another single guy moaning or actually taken note of WHY I made the original post.. My reason for making a posting was seeing how others seem to behave on here. Right near the top, someone quoted a small simple piece and stated (as a woman) that they understood what I was getting at. Sorry but the rest of the postings seem to all follow the same route.. just like other threads on this forum.

If people just ignored the nasty messages and took the time instead for those who deserved it, I'm sure the whole process on here would run a lot better. But what do my thoughts matter, when everyone else seems to know best. Very few of you are actually single men.. try having the boot on the other foot and comment then.

Anyways good luck swinging everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Teflon to the core......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't see the issue with impatient and pushy. Means he'll battle his way to the bar for my half a cider and I'll be fucked in time to get back for the news at 9.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


" But what do my thoughts matter, when everyone else seems to know best. Very few of you are actually single men.. try having the boot on the other foot and comment then.

"

It is because most are not single men they are in a much better position to accurately tell you how they interpret being sent a second message... seeing as they are the people on the receiving end.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i get alot of messages asking why i havent replied and i dont reply them x

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside


"

Very few of you are actually single men.. try having the boot on the other foot and comment then.

Anyways good luck swinging everyone. "

Single male here and did comment, you just didn't like my answer to your OP either saying I basically didn't get what you meant.

I did get it and still don't agree with sending the 2nd message asking why the first one hasn't been replied to yet, and that's whether or not the 2nd one is a "cheeky" or more "polite" message.

PS - My boots are staying on the right feet until this snow clears up anyway!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I got what you meant, but couldn't understand why you would send a second " cheeky" mail if you are getting worse answers than none at all.

But, it matters not what anyone else thinks and you don't have to take any notice of what anyone else has said...I just can't understand why you posted on a public forum if you were going to take other peoples _iews as " Sorry but the rest of the postings seem to all follow the same route.. just like other threads on this forum"

Because a lot of people have a different take on it than you doesn't make it a bad thing, it just means they didn't agree with what you were saying...... and I can't see anyone changing their _iew just because it isn't the one you wanted to hear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

op.. I UNDERSTAND the point you are attempting to make..but hey I just dont agree with you..your right to send unsolicited mails..my right to ignore them...or can you just not UNDERSTAND my point...keep the insights into the mindset of the "pushy" guys coming, they are fascinating..ooohhh and happy swinging..

MWAH xx

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