FabSwingers.com forum: STI...Vengeance hits home

By *lackgrape OP Man
over a year ago

Purley

After what has happened lately regarding some fellow party goers being infected by a sti which was really sad painful and unfortunate and is something that must be avoided by all means necessary, I love the party scene mainly to socialise and make that connection, gangbangs has never really been my kinda thing especially seeing a posse of guys giving it to 2 girls

all night long, under such circumstances anything is possible coz nothing is impossible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After what has happened lately regarding some fellow party goers being infected by a sti which was really sad painful and unfortunate and is something that must be avoided by all means necessary, I love the party scene mainly to socialise and make that connection, gangbangs has never really been my kinda thing especially seeing a posse of guys giving it to 2 girls

all night long, under such circumstances anything is possible coz nothing is impossible."

so deep

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By *lackgrape OP Man
over a year ago

Purley

It could easily happen to anyone a clear and present danger transmitted by having oral sex !!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone would think Sti's were a new thing

If your in this lifestyle long enough you hear about groups of people or areas catching something...

I think its admirable of the club that made this public to have done so. As normally its kept to the people involved to tell people and they dont always do that.

We just keep to our own rules and get tested every 4-6 weeks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where was this and which club please.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought we were talking Subaru.

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex

"Where was this and which club please."

I think it was in the south east somewhere because there was a message on the news feed.

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By *lackgrape OP Man
over a year ago

Purley

I can't disclose which club this emerged from , I do agree that its up to those

who passed it on to inform those infected but if they choose to maintain silence theres not much anyone can do, party goers should keep in mind that this was passed on by having oral sex......sucking cock & eating pussy the numbers game.

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

We too go to various parties locally, but only to socialise. However, OP, I do think that using the term 'vengeance' is a little harsh and possibly comes across as judgemental ... numbers game it may be, but you only to catch it from one person?

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By *lackgrape OP Man
over a year ago

Purley

Rather a harsh term to use but to every action there is bound to be a reaction

and yes it may have been passed on by one person but not only one was infected......numbers .

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

Well personally I think you would always take that risk if you are playing without protection, including orally .... we go to a fair few clubs locally, but as we don't play with others, no worries for us on that score. I agree here with total deviants, it will happen in these circles, as it does in the real world. I have not ever come across such an attitude towards it, though, certainly not from within the community.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The infection won't only stay in the circle of people within the club. They also go to other events and meet one to one with people who don't visit clubs or go to parties. If someone doesn't get tested they can be distributing the infection countrywide.

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

In my experience, people on the scene are more likely to get tested and much more aware of these things than people in the outside world. It is about personal responsibility here .... and individual choices and looking after yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are in agreement with deviants too .

We used to frequent clubs and parties on our previous profile . Fortunately we didn't catch anything , but careful hygiene , and trips to the local clinic every 6 weeks may have helped .

It's inevevitable that these things will happen , and unfortunate . And it's a risk we all take ......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In our mind once the risk out weighs the fun you hang up your shoes.. I've been in this lifestyle since I was 24... And I do not use condoms for oral and till the last few years mostly donef group or gang bangs ...

We have always been aware of the risks .... We just look our for our own health x

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By *urewaterMan
over a year ago

Sex Lab

STI.. Vengeance hits home, the title itself is a bit of an over kill, this is like killing an ant with a sledge hammer.

Swinging is about consenting adults, if you are bold enough to enjoy the pleasures and joys of sex, surely you should be bold enough to deal with the consequences, exchanging bodily fluids however way carries a degree of risks which i believe all parties are aware of , and nobody in their right mind would knowingly spread STD or other related sexual diseases . It’s so unfair and crass, insensitive and thoughtless to use the word vengeance in this context. Nobody knows what the true facts are and third party narratives should be dismissed. Swinging should be about consenting adults taking responsibilities for their actions and not blaming others, spreading baseless rumours and third party narratives are vehicles of spreading fear. The message is simple, know where you GUM clinic is, get tested and be free.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think regular tests goes with the lifestyle as a normal course of things

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By *lackgrape OP Man
over a year ago

Purley

Like I said to every action there is bound to be a reaction these are basic principles in life,it may seem a harsh term to to use but imagine what all parties involved are going through? I wouldn't want this to happen to anyone

no one knows who passed it on the best we can do is try and offer some support to all involved and be more cautious, as for choosing my words I believe others have used worse .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Regular testing and being honest with people,which some don't do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry where was this posted? Is the implication there's something 'going round' in swingers circles? What STI are we talking here? Not the really bad one I hope?

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

I would hazard a guess to say there is always something going around somewhere, be it in swinging circles or on POF. I am just being real here. As we dont play at parties I feel I can say this without anyone thinking its a reflection on either of us. Even if someone does not think they have anything, you would shave to assume they have, and play safe with them, surely. I think sometimes you have to look behind the words and the reason for saying them ... it is not an episode of Corrie, after all. And, as far as I know, sti can be cured by a couple of weeks antibiotics and abstinence, just like any other infection. Obviously not all, but I don't see the need for all of the drama, to be honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My problem would be with the person who lied about meeting people from the scene and passing it to me and then me giving it to one of my regular partners I've been meeting for years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is always something going around .. be it here or vanilla circles.

It's what Happens when consenting adults have sex With multiple people x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is always something going around .. be it here or vanilla circles.

It's what Happens when consenting adults have sex With multiple people x"

Well yes but that doesn't mean the un-curable things are always going around, naturally one worries more about those

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

"My problem would be with the person who lied about meeting people from the scene and passing it to me and then me giving it to one of my regular partners I've been meeting for years. "

Yes, but if a party reports it, I mean an event, just because you have attended does not mean you have caught anything. What you are talking about is on an individual basis. The op is talking about something different .... vengeance for a posse of guys and two women. The implication is that they incurred the wrath of god ... its a weird one, here or anywhere.

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

"My problem would be with the person who lied about meeting people from the scene and passing it to me and then me giving it to one of my regular partners I've been meeting for years. "

And, sorry to have to add, and not in pm, as I think everyone can hear it, that would be something you would deal with in person, not on the forums, surely?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP is naive, STIs are not passed by gangbangs alone but can be passed in one to one situations. They can be passed by a partner not on the scene but playing away, or a one night oral stand in the vanilla scene.

I think it is crass to make any adverse judgmement in the absence of deception.

The event holders are to be commended for going public and advising people.

Additionally l suspect the number of women that will give oral sex to guys with a condom are a minority, or that is what l found when I started. I was called OCD a number of times for being extremely careful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not the event holders that are infected it's people within the scene....The problem is when people don't contact there sexual contacts it spreads infection ....finger pointing and blame is for the playground if you big enough to swing whatever way you choose your big enough to get tested. We are All adults

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This below was a quote from another thread-

"BB gangbangs could possibly be the cause of the cases of gonorrhea that were spoken of on a London/Essex club circuit. My thoughts? If you attend these bb gang bangs be sure to let anyone else know so they can avoid you if they want"

Below is what I answered, it was not vengance, it was as I quote below

"BB gangbangs are an assumption to what has happened in london/essex circuit. The partys are all organised regular with hosts that recommend safe sex in invites and email's.

The hosts do not know what people get up to behind closed doors.

A few organisers announced it to make sure that there guests are safe and recommendations they get tested to nip it in the bud, gonorrhoea can be passed orally too and can spread like wild flower.

The hosts acted in the best interest of guests and other swingers that are about in the swinging scene.It may effect future parties however there has also been alot of support to the organisers for putting the information out there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP is naive, STIs are not passed by gangbangs alone but can be passed in one to one situations. They can be passed by a partner not on the scene but playing away, or a one night oral stand in the vanilla scene.

I think it is crass to make any adverse judgmement in the absence of deception.

The event holders are to be commended for going public and advising people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My problem would be with the person who lied about meeting people from the scene and passing it to me and then me giving it to one of my regular partners I've been meeting for years.

I ignored the vengeance comment. I'm not religious. I know anyone can pass on an sti,I don't assume that anyone is risk free. I make my decisions based on what is know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My problem would be with the person who lied about meeting people from the scene and passing it to me and then me giving it to one of my regular partners I've been meeting for years.

And, sorry to have to add, and not in pm, as I think everyone can hear it, that would be something you would deal with in person, not on the forums, surely?"

It was hypothetical. The amount of men who lie on here is astounding. Women probably too but I don't talk to many of them.

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

"My problem would be with the person who lied about meeting people from the scene and passing it to me and then me giving it to one of my regular partners I've been meeting for years.

I ignored the vengeance comment. I'm not religious. I know anyone can pass on an sti,I don't assume that anyone is risk free. I make my decisions based on what is know. "

Agreed. We all have a responsibility to ourselves. If there is bareback going on, at least two people are involved in the act, and anyone involved has equal responsibility - this includes oral sex. I don't think anyone should be blaming anyone else ... it would be the done thing to tell anyone you have played with, if you have tested positive, but they should be getting tested anyway, too./

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By *icky999Man
over a year ago

warrington

ewww cudies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My problem would be with the person who lied about meeting people from the scene and passing it to me and then me giving it to one of my regular partners I've been meeting for years.

I ignored the vengeance comment. I'm not religious. I know anyone can pass on an sti,I don't assume that anyone is risk free. I make my decisions based on what is know.

Which is why it was responsible of the organisation to announce it on here. In a party or gang bang scenario who will know who to tell. If you don't know everyone whose cock you have sucked you can't let them know personally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And, sorry to have to add, and not in pm, as I think everyone can hear it, that would be something you would deal with in person, not on the forums, surely?"

Depends who you are and if you want to bring awareness to the site, that's me .Alot of people do not test and that is a fact.as people have said sti are about in the real world, one on one meets/parties.nobody should be judgemental as we all are here to meet people and play, how we play is upto personal choice.

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

The more I think about it, the more I think perhaps clubs and parties should insist on a certificate or text verification to say the guest is std free. I know it is only guaranteed up to the time the tests were taken, but it is something at least. Monthly party goers could get a certificate for each time - its free to go and I would have no problem, even though we don't go to play with anyone. I think it would be a very responsible thing to do. Behind closed doors, who knows what goes on ... and anyone who was committed to behaving responsibly would surely not have a problem with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The more I think about it, the more I think perhaps clubs and parties should insist on a certificate or text verification to say the guest is std free. I know it is only guaranteed up to the time the tests were taken, but it is something at least. Monthly party goers could get a certificate for each time - its free to go and I would have no problem, even though we don't go to play with anyone. I think it would be a very responsible thing to do. Behind closed doors, who knows what goes on ... and anyone who was committed to behaving responsibly would surely not have a problem with it. "

Not everyone cares though. People don't get tested,people whip off the condom when you can't see behind you. People aren't being responsible adults.

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By *L RogueMan
over a year ago

London

Regular checks at your local gum clinic are the best way forward. People's personal, sexual practices will vary as much as their partners who come from all over so keep aware of your sexual health.

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

"Regular checks at your local gum clinic are the best way forward. People's personal, sexual practices will vary as much as their partners who come from all over so keep aware of your sexual health."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As much as I think it would be good idea, firstly how many people that attend parties would be willing to provide event holders even more personal details, secondly would the event holders be willing to take on the administrative liability plus the legal liability (civil and criminal) if they make a mistake. Even if they don't make a mistake and something happens there will be a lawyer who will say the event holder will have a responsibility and they would be dragged into litigation (see Ashley Maddison for the above).

Thirdly humans being what they are: (a) if people are waving around all clear certificates it may lead to more bareback; (b) there will be a rise in events where certificates are not required.

At the end of the day although we should be the safety officers for others we are our own safety officer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thirdly humans being what they are: (a) if people are waving around all clear certificates it may lead to more bareback; (b) there will be a rise in events where certificates are not required.

At the end of the day although we should be the safety officers for others we are our own safety officer.

it would kill the party scene completely, as an accasional host to parties I think it would just get silly, my texts go on my phone so cant prove that till walk in the door

certificates simalar to the adult industry may ask for cost £30 or more in clinics

real names etc on documents eg sheri my fab name so I could be holding someone else's certificate for all they know.or should I take my driving licence like I do at a new club, to go to a party I've been invited at someone's house

swinging is about n.s.a sex and socializing with likeminded adults in relaxed safe environments

there has been sti's since I can remember in the real world and in this swinging world, only way your stop it is encouraging regular testing and safer sex not bits of paper

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

I do also think though that its a fine line because if a party host knows that some of the guests may have an s t I , in other words they have seen with their own eyes evidence that they have it, then by telling other guests, are they not already implying they have some responsibility? So if there is another outbreak, and no one is told and the host doesn't know, where does it leave them? I am just saying I would not expect the host to tell me. Its great they do, but I would not come to rely in it because it absolves me of my personal responsibility to myself and my partner. Its like I always assume the worst. I think the door has been opened for people to expect the host to do more than they should really do. I do think its admirable that a party host helps people stay safe, but really, how can they take on that responsibility entirely?

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By *lackgrape OP Man
over a year ago

Purley

The chances of the host knowing are slim to non which means its our responsibility to maintain a safe environment for everyone.

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By *icky999Man
over a year ago

warrington

"The chances of the host knowing are slim to non which means its our responsibility to maintain a safe environment for everyone. "

host?

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

"The chances of the host knowing are slim to non which means its our responsibility to maintain a safe environment for everyone. "

As always our personal responsibility to be as safe as we can ... both in public and behind closed doors.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Think regular tests goes with the lifestyle as a normal course of things

This. I was informed earlier this year by a lady I had played (safe!) with that she had an STI....she knew where from btw..not from me.

I informed the one other I had had fun with in meantime and we both went for immediate test. Both clear as have been all the tests I've ever had...two more since and remain clear.

You can't be too careful imho but either way, your choice, but do get tested regularly!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do also think though that its a fine line because if a party host knows that some of the guests may have an s t I , in other words they have seen with their own eyes evidence that they have it, then by telling other guests, are they not already implying they have some responsibility? So if there is another outbreak, and no one is told and the host doesn't know, where does it leave them? I am just saying I would not expect the host to tell me. Its great they do, but I would not come to rely in it because it absolves me of my personal responsibility to myself and my partner. Its like I always assume the worst. I think the door has been opened for people to expect the host to do more than they should really do. I do think its admirable that a party host helps people stay safe, but really, how can they take on that responsibility entirely?"

Party hosts can only encourage people to test regularly, to encourage safer sex and bring condoms.

Hosts are not sheriffs nor teachers I'm afraid .

Alot of hosts do care,its not a case of taking on extra responsibilities its hard anough, hosts are encouraging a safe environment for all swingers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The chances of the host knowing are slim to non which means its our responsibility to maintain a safe environment for everyone.

As always our personal responsibility to be as safe as we can ... both in public and behind closed doors."

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