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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

saw this one and had to post

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"saw this one and had to post

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.” "

Love it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I did too. also liked this one

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

saw this one and nearly pissed myself, even though I've heard it many times before

A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. She drops her pants and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!”

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

A woman places an ad in the local newspaper. “Looking for a man with three qualifications: won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me, and is great in bed.” Two days later her doorbell rings. “Hi, I’m Tim. I have no arms so I won’t beat you, and no legs so I won't run away.” “What makes you think you are great in bed?” the woman retorts. Tim replies, “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”

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By *aturelover2016Man
over a year ago

London

I was sitting watching Match of the Day when the Mrs came into the lounge and says

"Fancy a shag Babe?"

I said, "After the football love"

She said, "You do realise that you can record it?"

I said, "Nice, you get the camcorder, I'll come upstairs when the footy finishes".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its easy to know our bodies were not designed according to health and safety regulations because why would our play areas be placed next to a waste disposal.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Its easy to know our bodies were not designed according to health and safety regulations because why would our play areas be placed next to a waste disposal."

that, was, hilarious

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