FabSwingers.com forum: Male opinions wanted here please!!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Right ok, I might upset or say something I shouldnt here but why change the habit of a lifetime lol. I need a mans opinion on this although I do know women are guilty of the same thing also (obviousley not me).

Why is it you meet men for sex because thats what we are on here for BUT they either fall in love with you or after so many weeks of it going real good they then dont seem to know what it is that they want. Is it just a man thing or is it that for the past 6 months ive just chose to meet fooking idiots. If thats the case I have bad luck lol

I know us women see things different from you men but I would like to try and understand what goes through your minds guys, ta

Zoe x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

You'll have to ask the men in question!

If I feel a connection, that just makes for better sex.

I might not be the best example, though, as I tend not to get many repeat meets - people I play with tend to leave the site/scene shortly after!

(I said "tend", before I get abused...)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you hunni. I do ask but get no bloody answers or any sence from them. Thought maybe putting out on here some men might know why the muppets do what they do lol.

They say us women will never work out you men and vice versa maybe they are right lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Right ok, I might upset or say something I shouldnt here but why change the habit of a lifetime lol. I need a mans opinion on this although I do know women are guilty of the same thing also (obviousley not me).

I know us women see things different from you men but I would like to try and understand what goes through your minds guys, ta

Zoe x

I know you're after men's _iews. But I have the same - so don't panic it's them not you. I think they want what they realise they can't have. So don't let yourself be made to feel guilty for wanting what you said you wanted all along!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

never really fell in love with a meet !!!! thats not why I am here.

But as sharpie said there are times when there may be a connection you feel with one meet more than others.

Having said that I did meet one girl on here and definitely had a good feeling for her, but it never happened as she left the site shortly after.

and like you said we are different ala venus/mars there is just no working it out on both sides.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Although the site is for like minded people there are many with different minds ...

I'm pretty open minded and there can be numerous reasons ...

Honesty is my biggest problem as in being too honest ..

Personally I think the main reasons can be ..

Some are after fun - thats it

Some are after a lot more ..women can be the hardest to work out on that one initially but sure can/will correct me on that ... lol

Feelings - If one or the other begins to develop feelings towards the other, other than high blood pressure .. if thats 2 way may be it can work ..

Moving on... sad and shallow it may sound but it works both ways often.. the scene can be very open and choice is there ..

'Issues' can take time to get to know people and may be after some time the other may have worked out things.This can be a wide range of things and sometimes the reason is not discussed.May be a couple are really enjoying meeting a guy but after a few times,it becomes a 'bit too close'

In all though the reasons can be horrid but probably more often and than not they are for a good reason.Yeah there are some very ignorant/arrogant people about too...

It is a 2 way thing ... maybe a 3,4,5 etc lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *obblybitsCouple
over a year ago

huddersfield

I know I am a women

I just wanted to say that on hear I have read of both men and women have said the same as you. we are all hear for such different reason and I can honestly say if I was single and not swinging as a couple I don't think I could keep my heart out of it.

during my life before hubby I had a number of fuck buddies, I did have a lot of fun but it hurt so much when I wanted more and they didn't.

we are only human

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive never had this problem.

because i always want more sex.

guess we all meet the wrong ones till we get it right.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *im53Man
over a year ago

Boldon

during my life before hubby I had a number of fuck buddies, I did have a lot of fun but it hurt so much when I wanted more and they didn't.

we are only human

its not only ladies it happens too

she fell in love with some one else and cut all ties at a stroke

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

men are horny most of the time. They go where the sex is. Nt botherd about looks aslong as its decent sex. Men always fal for women of these types a sites. Coz they no its nsa but some are pushy and wont leave you alone. They think wel if i can get in wel with this lass i got more chance of making a cpl profile and il get more sex! Them 3sums and orgys i always wanted. Most guys wont admit to it. Not al are like it. But be cautious in this game you cant trust anyone!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i always find the ladies fall in love with me an want to leave their hubbys to run off to essex and go down southend run naked in lovely beaches we have here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blokes just have a romanticized _iew of things, it's a case of the grass is always greener, perhaps some may think that because the sex is good that everything else could be too. They might have a shitty sex life at home or cap marriage and think that 'glamour puss' there is their ideal woman and that of course she always wears that dress and that sexy lingerie 24/7 even at work in case she encounters cock at any given moment. You could probably write a thesis on this topic. It's too easy to say blokes are daft, but we are capable of it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

( I get abused...)"

Sigh...my fantasy!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lack_BoltMan
over a year ago

oxford

I know us women see things different from you men but I would like to try and understand what goes through your minds guys, ta

Zoe x

Well I'm no stud but the same thing has happened to me too. I think in reality that's just life. With some people their emotions can kick in quite strongly, and the situation can make it more intense. It's not a gender thing. It's just human.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've met a great guy a few times whilst I've been incapacitated for dinner. We're scheduled to meet to play on Wednesday, but I'm having second thoughts.

Why? Well I noticed he stopped using the site when I responded to his message and exchanged emails. He's since deleted his profile and when I asked why he said "I've met you now!".

Just typing this I know I won't meet him because he's already looking at exclusivity, and I've hardly made a dent in the male population!

That said I don't think it's just men that get confused. I only play with people I'd socialise with there needs to be "feelings" for me to play, I just don't want any emotional baggage, jealousy or dramas!

Who'd have thought nsa sex could be so fraught!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hey people Reading what you have all put makes sence. Somethings that were said I never even thought of lol

My friend excuse the language fucks then leaves with very little conversation whereas I like the chatting bit mainly after lol maybe I should do what she does then they wouldn't either fall in love or get attached one way or another and if they don't really know what they want I don't need to know about it lol. On a serious note think I'm too nice for that so should take the advice of what one of you said and just be more selective in who I meet.

Thanks people xxxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

maybe he is falling in love with the possibility of an up and coming 'couple' profile.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uro anchorMan
over a year ago

Coventry

i fell in love once.. n she fucked off with her boss lol.. never again.. friends n fucking yes.. love noooooooo.. ps love u xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"ps love u xx"

thanks, lets get to know each other first.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

( I get abused...)

Sigh...my fantasy!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know us women see things different from you men but I would like to try and understand what goes through your minds guys, ta

Zoe x

have you ever thought that they are confusing sex with love?

they arent getting it from anyone else yet your willing to open your legs for them so therefore they confuse it with love?

we very rarely meet any single men and never locally incase of the scenario your not enjoying.

90 per cent of the mail we get get from single guys is crap , you can tell they should be on dating sites and not swinging ones.

if your meeting fooking idiots your research before meets should be a little more comprehensive and maybe state the fact its one offs or totally nsa.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is no such thing though as NSA...not totally.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is no such thing though as NSA...not totally."

dissagree, if you think that you shouldn, t be playing

no strings attached is turn up socialise- sex-thankyou-leave

feelings are not an option

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll answer that with a question...

If you really wanted a meet and (hypothetically) had only one offer...

The person who is offering you find unattractive and their personality grates on you...do you meet and play anyway?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a mixed bag of reasons guys click on here and try, yes trrrrry to be "a swinger", behind somes reasons to try it lies a big desire to meet "The one",they exist, their here and kinda always will be.

Just like we get good at identifying fakes, so to does identifying guys (and women) with simply next to no swinging agenda.

T xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll answer that with a question...

If you really wanted a meet and (hypothetically) had only one offer...

The person who is offering you find unattractive and their personality grates on you...do you meet and play anyway?"

what on earth has that to do with no strings attached

you can be as cryptic as you like but for 99.9 percent of the people one here nsa means turn up sex leave...job done

to answer your question though were not in the habit of meeting ugly people with bad personalities, im not the type of bloke who would shag a barbers floor if it was the only thing on offer.

hence our original post on this abour researching better before meets

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's certainly such a thing as NSA, friendship I certainly couldn't rule out, but having exclusivity with any of my meets I wouldn't even think of.

I like to chat and socialise with people and I like to fuck, combine the two and there's the recipe for a very enjoyable time, simple.

To the OP though, I would be curious if any of the meets who felt this way were newbies to swinging? I could possibly understand them feeling this way if they weren't used to the purely pleasure arrangement? Plus you are a very open minded lady too, so they may sample your delights and realise how tame their sex life was previously. Couple this with their naivity and it's all to easy to see a few getting the wrong end of the stick...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It all depends what the blokes are looking for. A bloke in a relationship with a woman is here looking for sex. A single bloke could be looking for sex or a relationship. One who starts off looking for sex may find that regular contact with the same woman leads to a desire for a relationship.

I know from comments on other threads that this may result in howls of protest from some people, but if you just want to meet men who are here for sex and only sex, then try looking for a bloke who is in a stable relationship he doesn't want to leave.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My point is that everyone is human!...it is a totally human thing to make decisions on instinct/emotions/logic...It isn't 'switched off' because a meet is only to the end of playing with someone.Some may become emotionally attached to someone quicker than another person...but everybody on here who meets anyone will have *some* level of attachment...it HAS to be there...the trick is to control it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single bloke, I am here for sex. As it happens, I have made a lot of friends (both male and female) which, it now turns out, is almost as important as the nookie.

I have found people here who have gotten a bit clingy and once or twice, I have too, but I have also swung with a lady who knew exactly what the score was.

We are all people and have emotions which aren't necesarily controlable. We probably also know many people who have got together on here too (I know at least 3 couples who began as single swingers.

Sorry OP, luck of the draw innit..........

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a single bloke, I am here for sex. As it happens, I have made a lot of friends (both male and female) which, it now turns out, is almost as important as the nookie.

I have found people here who have gotten a bit clingy and once or twice, I have too, but I have also swung with a lady who knew exactly what the score was.

We are all people and have emotions which aren't necesarily controlable. We probably also know many people who have got together on here too (I know at least 3 couples who began as single swingers.

Sorry OP, luck of the draw innit.........."

hhhmmmmmm nsa or clingy?

the thread has now gone tits up , anyone with the inclination to become clingy shouldn,t be swinging where another persons partner is concerned!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

swinging has nothing to do with love, the problem is many join a swinging site to meet people thinking it might go further, they might not even know this is why.

swinging is about nsa sex pure and simple, maybe even some kind of friendship, and if two single swingers fall for each other then thats great, however thats not what swingings about, it seems alot of people join a swinging site as dating hasnt gone well for them for whatever reason, and they then mistake sexual atraction as falling for, i do feel really sorry for them as they are looking for something that isnt to be found swinging, but desperation has made them try anything to meet new people, we have come across a few like this and have had to be firm and say thanks for the fun but its swinging not love.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *vor Bigun 69!Man
over a year ago

Barnsley

Some people over analyse things! My motto is, kiss, lick, suck, fuck and go!!

If its good then do again!

If its crap, then have a nice life x x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *LLSEXEDUPMan
over a year ago

Reading

I think you may just have had pure bad luck so far, the vast majority of guys on here from what I have read are on here for the sex with no strings.

I can't say from my _iew that I have ever fallen in love with a meet, I allways like to see meets as "friends with benifits" as opposed to the kind of person that feelings of falling in love would develop with, maybe thats my young age showing but thats my mindset.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know us women see things different from you men but I would like to try and understand what goes through your minds guys, ta

Zoe x

I always thought it was the women who fall in love. I know some men see a single woman swinger as a prized asset and the key to play as a couple and easier access to clubs. Maybe the guys you have met have other agendas but tell you they love you when they really love what you can do for them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread