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To Dom or not to Dom

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By *ill74 OP   Man
over a year ago

New forest area

Hi

I'm curious about meeting a sub female and playing the Dom/sub role play.

Only thing is I'm not too sure how to play it!!

I'm sure I'd be asking every so often, are you ok, would you like it softer or harder etc. I'm not into pain or w/s.

What do you think?

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

...that is the question

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Hi

I'm curious about meeting a sub female and playing the Dom/sub role play.

Only thing is I'm not too sure how to play it!!

I'm sure I'd be asking every so often, are you ok, would you like it softer or harder etc. I'm not into pain or w/s.

What do you think?"

I think you should be asking her before you meet, then discuss boundaries and safe words before you play. Its something very personal between two people and nobody else can tell you what or how you should do it. Hope you both enjoy.

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire


"Hi

I'm curious about meeting a sub female and playing the Dom/sub role play.

Only thing is I'm not too sure how to play it!!

I'm sure I'd be asking every so often, are you ok, would you like it softer or harder etc. I'm not into pain or w/s.

What do you think?"

What's your idea or ideal of sub/Dom roleplay? If you work out what you want and then try and find someone who's curious about that to?

Pain and watersports don't need to be a part of it. Your roleplay can be anything you and your play partner are comfortable with.

I think.... Give it a shot. It's only roleplay. If you try it and it's not for you, then it's a tick off the list.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have 1 sub slave. He's fully compliant in all aspects of being a slave. We dont have a safe word, he would take / do and comply with any of my whims and desires. We are not "partners" but we know each other well enough to know boundaries without having being spoken.

I have other slaves in training. Who we have discussed the no go's. Although when they are a slave, I own their balls.

When in role, you shouldnt have to stop and ask if shes ok. Its the same when your with a woman in vanilla. Watch the body language to see what she likes to read her and bring her to organism.

Being a Dom means you can get just as much enjoyment from your role as she dose being the sub.

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By *ncutgemMan
over a year ago

Bath ish

Nothing clever about not having a safe word

pretty good way to end up in hospitalor worse

Only need one 'mistake' to have authorities crack down on this alt lifestyle

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

I've never had a safe word either. I trust my partners to know how far I can be pushed. The only thing that gives this lifestyle a bad name is Dim Doms and Silly Subs who think they know everything, when all they've read is half a dozen pages from the internet and watched a bit of staged porn.

Anyway to the OP, if your idea of Dom is pain and w/s then you should maybe establish what kind of Dom you are before you attempt any type of Dom/sub play.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would agree with the above posts. Find out what type of Dom you ate before you start playing with a sub. It's the worst first experience if you find a sub that isn't in to the same things as you are because you're unsure of what you want. There are so many aspects of bdsm .... I've been doing it over 10 years and still experimenting and ever changing my style of Dom because there really is so much to see and do. Then you can go about finding a sub that fits into those aspects of bdsm that you like. I would say go to a few bdsm events and club nights to get a flavour of things. Pain is just a tiny tiny part of what bdsm is all about. For the most part it's power play and control which can and very frequently has nothing to do with pain. I for one love bondage and the beauty of a woman tied up. Not in pain. Just restrained

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

As I said op ....talk. Nobody else can tell you how it should be, although many will.

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By *ill74 OP   Man
over a year ago

New forest area

Thanks all.

Not into pain (although do like to spank a nice bum). Not into w/s or the such or public humiliation.

Like the idea of a lady in handcuffs/tied up and using her.

I will more than likely use safewords, so that both of us are comfortable.

I've heard Torture Garden is a good place to go??

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By *ndykinkyMan
over a year ago

STOKE-ON-TRENT

Meet others into the scene either at Club's, events or in a vanilla environment such as a Munch or Social.

You might be better off on a Fetish website such as the first three letters of FETish + LIFE

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess I fall into the Dom category, but just be yourself and enjoy what you do.

As for water sports folk often misinterpret this as painful when the opposite is true it's actually very sensual for a sub to be filled with water and the control comes from the dom not letting his sub release... This is one example there are lots of others x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's ok to do things like check the other person is ok. In fact, I think that's really cool.

I check with my partner frequently when I'm topping him. I consider it a part of my responsibility towards being safe and risk-aware.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go for it, if the desire is there, the ability probably is too. Didn't know anything about it till I joined this site, but, within a short soace of time, I was told I am naturally dominant. I'm not into pain, humiliation or anything that doesn't give mutual pleasure, and I have no desire to control a woman outside of the bedroom, but I do like to take control with sex. I have read numerous books,(worth doing, especially if you want to pursue a truly dominant roll, as some subs really know the rules). I was lucky to find friends who 'topped from the bottom', a great way to learn. I don't consider myself a dom in the biblical sense, but I am most definitely dominant. If you can, find yourself someone to explore with, its a big turn on.

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By *xoticloverMan
over a year ago

newcastle


"It's ok to do things like check the other person is ok. In fact, I think that's really cool.

I check with my partner frequently when I'm topping him. I consider it a part of my responsibility towards being safe and risk-aware."

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend


"Thanks all.

Not into pain (although do like to spank a nice bum). Not into w/s or the such or public humiliation.

Like the idea of a lady in handcuffs/tied up and using her.

I will more than likely use safewords, so that both of us are comfortable.

I've heard Torture Garden is a good place to go??"

Torture Garden is not a good place to go to to learn about being Dom, or submissive for that matter.

You would be better at either of the London Fetish markets or the Birmingham Bizarre Bazaar to learn things.

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By *ill74 OP   Man
over a year ago

New forest area

I live near Bournemouth. Is there anywhere to go near here? I could do London depending where it was. If I'm not sure on the 'score' / rules or etiquette etc I would be shy.

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

Don't know about the South west sorry. But both London markets are really cool laid back places to go to. Workshops and info freely available.

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