FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swingers Chat

Parody Profiles

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Could be quite funny. Here are two to start everyone off:

Lady Looking To...

talk and perhaps meet. I am in a sexless marriage and my husband has no idea I am on here so discretion is a must. Please respect this. Will lose my nerve and delete my account later today.

Lookin for VVWE cock for wife

Must be 10"++. If yur not, JOG ON.

NO blacks asains. Just our prefrens, were not racist.

MUST be able to acomadate TONITE. If U cant, JOG ON.

If yu reply, we will BLOCK u.

Happy swingin.

Can anyone do better?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can do strange requests, will have a think on the profiles bit, come across some "odd uns"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fit and incredibly handsome man. VWE with amazing stamina. Looking for lesbian couple to convert to hetero - come on girls, you know you can't resist my cock.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need a dump. Anyone got a torso i can use?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/07/15 16:08:27]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess she is more of a dreamer op, not many will have genuine 10"+ dicks lol.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I need a dump. Anyone got a torso i can use?"

WTF

Did I miss something?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ngel n tedCouple
over a year ago

maidstone

Will fill in later (not that i need to, i'll get messages telling me they love my profile anyway"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I need a dump. Anyone got a torso i can use?

WTF

Did I miss something? "

That's my parody profile. Only looking for men to poo on.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thin athletic female,size 18. Looking for well endowed male married but it's okay as you need to talk to husband and meet him First

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your name doesn't start with the 23rd letter of the alphabet, you aren't a Virgo and don't wear pacco rabanne, you will be blocked.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am a male looking for: Couples (MM) - I didn't know bra sizes went up that far, but I do love big knockers.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eliciousladyWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes U.K


"Thin athletic female,size 18. Looking for well endowed male married but it's okay as you need to talk to husband and meet him First "

Made me giggle

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am a male looking for: Couples (MM) - I didn't know bra sizes went up that far, but I do love big knockers."

Lol.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

"woman in a sexless marriage, looking for breeding, my husband is white, so looking for anyone who isn't to really rub it in his face when he sees the baby come out. Ive been around the block, so I might have picked up a few things, but nothing that a couple of antibiotics can't sort out."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden


"I guess she is more of a dreamer op, not many will have genuine 10"+ dicks lol."

They do if you measure it from their chocolate starfish!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

"unbelievably scrawny naturist couple of a certain age going slowly off our minds with boredom in Spain looking for couples for fun. We know, we should never have sold the plumbing supplies business, it was much more fun than being retired.

We know we both look like shell-less turtles but that's only because our skin has turned to leather in the sun."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *et_me_take_controlMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Will fill in later - once ive been in the chatroom with my cock out begging any woman I can find to watch me cum

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not looking to meet anyone from here .

Just here for the banter and forums

......hang on , I think I missed the point of the thread here

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

"Sexy MF couples, professional models, bi F, straight males, can travel, can accommodate. Seeking men, women, couples (MF FF MM) ages 18-99, face pics below, been on Fab for 6 years, but not met anyone yet. 100% genuine couple"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Totally genuine single fem, 35, can be bi with the right girl, nice looking in an average way, I meet when I say I will, party invites welcome. Why am I on a swinging site? Well, do you think I would get this much attention out in the nilla world?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Looking for MF couples but will only play with female. The male must be in a different room in another building. My hubby will be with us but is only bi so will not take part.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge


"Looking for MF couples but will only play with female. The male must be in a different room in another building. My hubby will be with us but is only bi so will not take part."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

Old, fat ugly man 55 years old looking for young, slim athletic woman 18-25.

Must be able to accommodate. Only looking to meet when suitable for me. What you want doesn’t matter. I’m in charge here. I decide.

Must be under size 12. If not then jog on.

Must be VWE. At least F cup. Don’t waste your time messaging me if you’re any less than this. I’m not interested.

I’m totally shaven and expect the same from any partner. Any bodyhair whatsoever and you may as well jog on.

Don’t send me pussy pics. Do so and you’ll be instantly blocked.

Must have an interesting profile. I don't have any pics myself but I expect you to have a full array of photos up to a professional standard. If your profile pic is a pussy pic you will be blocked.

Must send recent face pic with first message. Failure to do so and you’ll be instantly blocked. If I find you attractive then I’ll send you a face pic of me.

Any messages that simply say ‘Hi’ or ‘How are you?’ will get deleted AND you’ll be instantly blocked.

I don’t send messages out myself as I’m too good for that but please make sure your messages to me are of at least A-Level standard and are at least 2000 words long. And please, please make them original. I won’t tell you what I want to see in this original message. You’ll just have to be psychic. Come on girls, is it really too much to ask for you to put some effort in?!

And lastly just a bit about me. Will fill this in later…

Put ‘weirdo’ in the message title so I know you’ve read my profile. Failure to do so will result in your message getting deleted and an instant block.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Old, fat ugly man 55 years old looking for young, slim athletic woman 18-25.

Must be able to accommodate. Only looking to meet when suitable for me. What you want doesn’t matter. I’m in charge here. I decide.

Must be under size 12. If not then jog on.

Must be VWE. At least F cup. Don’t waste your time messaging me if you’re any less than this. I’m not interested.

I’m totally shaven and expect the same from any partner. Any bodyhair whatsoever and you may as well jog on.

Don’t send me pussy pics. Do so and you’ll be instantly blocked.

Must have an interesting profile. I don't have any pics myself but I expect you to have a full array of photos up to a professional standard. If your profile pic is a pussy pic you will be blocked.

Must send recent face pic with first message. Failure to do so and you’ll be instantly blocked. If I find you attractive then I’ll send you a face pic of me.

Any messages that simply say ‘Hi’ or ‘How are you?’ will get deleted AND you’ll be instantly blocked.

I don’t send messages out myself as I’m too good for that but please make sure your messages to me are of at least A-Level standard and are at least 2000 words long. And please, please make them original. I won’t tell you what I want to see in this original message. You’ll just have to be psychic. Come on girls, is it really too much to ask for you to put some effort in?!

And lastly just a bit about me. Will fill this in later…

Put ‘weirdo’ in the message title so I know you’ve read my profile. Failure to do so will result in your message getting deleted and an instant block.

"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very good looking, intelligent, well off and well educated couple seek similar. He must be VWE (min of a thick 10"); she size 12 with large natural breasts.

Meet at your hotel (we don't meet at houses). Social first and we will decide if we want to go further. Age range 24 to 30.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't accommodate, can't travel ???

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The quality of entries is rising. I'm being put to shame! Perhaps we should have a vote for the winner?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm pretty sure our actual profile is on here!!!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Old, fat ugly man 55 years old looking for young, slim athletic woman 18-25.

Must be able to accommodate. Only looking to meet when suitable for me. What you want doesn’t matter. I’m in charge here. I decide.

Must be under size 12. If not then jog on.

Must be VWE. At least F cup. Don’t waste your time messaging me if you’re any less than this. I’m not interested.

I’m totally shaven and expect the same from any partner. Any bodyhair whatsoever and you may as well jog on.

Don’t send me pussy pics. Do so and you’ll be instantly blocked.

Must have an interesting profile. I don't have any pics myself but I expect you to have a full array of photos up to a professional standard. If your profile pic is a pussy pic you will be blocked.

Must send recent face pic with first message. Failure to do so and you’ll be instantly blocked. If I find you attractive then I’ll send you a face pic of me.

Any messages that simply say ‘Hi’ or ‘How are you?’ will get deleted AND you’ll be instantly blocked.

I don’t send messages out myself as I’m too good for that but please make sure your messages to me are of at least A-Level standard and are at least 2000 words long. And please, please make them original. I won’t tell you what I want to see in this original message. You’ll just have to be psychic. Come on girls, is it really too much to ask for you to put some effort in?!

And lastly just a bit about me. Will fill this in later…

Put ‘weirdo’ in the message title so I know you’ve read my profile. Failure to do so will result in your message getting deleted and an instant block.

"

*applauds* magnificent work my friend

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham


"Old, fat ugly man 55 years old looking for young, slim athletic woman 18-25.

Must be able to accommodate. Only looking to meet when suitable for me. What you want doesn’t matter. I’m in charge here. I decide.

Must be under size 12. If not then jog on.

Must be VWE. At least F cup. Don’t waste your time messaging me if you’re any less than this. I’m not interested.

I’m totally shaven and expect the same from any partner. Any bodyhair whatsoever and you may as well jog on.

Don’t send me pussy pics. Do so and you’ll be instantly blocked.

Must have an interesting profile. I don't have any pics myself but I expect you to have a full array of photos up to a professional standard. If your profile pic is a pussy pic you will be blocked.

Must send recent face pic with first message. Failure to do so and you’ll be instantly blocked. If I find you attractive then I’ll send you a face pic of me.

Any messages that simply say ‘Hi’ or ‘How are you?’ will get deleted AND you’ll be instantly blocked.

I don’t send messages out myself as I’m too good for that but please make sure your messages to me are of at least A-Level standard and are at least 2000 words long. And please, please make them original. I won’t tell you what I want to see in this original message. You’ll just have to be psychic. Come on girls, is it really too much to ask for you to put some effort in?!

And lastly just a bit about me. Will fill this in later…

Put ‘weirdo’ in the message title so I know you’ve read my profile. Failure to do so will result in your message getting deleted and an instant block.

*applauds* magnificent work my friend "

Thank you very much

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only looking to meet attractive females.

If i message you and you don't reply back then i'll call you a fat, ugly ,cunt and pretend my first message to you was for someone else.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I need a dump. Anyone got a torso i can use?

WTF

Did I miss something? "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Old, fat ugly man 55 years old looking for young, slim athletic woman 18-25.

Must be able to accommodate. Only looking to meet when suitable for me. What you want doesn’t matter. I’m in charge here. I decide.

Must be under size 12. If not then jog on.

Must be VWE. At least F cup. Don’t waste your time messaging me if you’re any less than this. I’m not interested.

I’m totally shaven and expect the same from any partner. Any bodyhair whatsoever and you may as well jog on.

Don’t send me pussy pics. Do so and you’ll be instantly blocked.

Must have an interesting profile. I don't have any pics myself but I expect you to have a full array of photos up to a professional standard. If your profile pic is a pussy pic you will be blocked.

Must send recent face pic with first message. Failure to do so and you’ll be instantly blocked. If I find you attractive then I’ll send you a face pic of me.

Any messages that simply say ‘Hi’ or ‘How are you?’ will get deleted AND you’ll be instantly blocked.

I don’t send messages out myself as I’m too good for that but please make sure your messages to me are of at least A-Level standard and are at least 2000 words long. And please, please make them original. I won’t tell you what I want to see in this original message. You’ll just have to be psychic. Come on girls, is it really too much to ask for you to put some effort in?!

And lastly just a bit about me. Will fill this in later…

Put ‘weirdo’ in the message title so I know you’ve read my profile. Failure to do so will result in your message getting deleted and an instant block.

*applauds* magnificent work my friend

Thank you very much "

Hahaha incredible

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you have a border pasted on your walls we wont meet you -

we actually read this once

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if you have a border pasted on your walls we wont meet you -

we actually read this once "

Maybe it's an obscure code for facial or pubic hair. If not, it is most bizarre.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top