FabSwingers.com forum: Advice threads

By *oe_Steve_NWest OP Couple
over a year ago

Bolton

There have been loads of people asking for advice on their profiles and I used to post on them, sometimes the advice was taken but I've stopped doing it now for a few reasons. Seen a guy take off the fact that he prefers bareback and replaced it with only practices safe sex, aggressive or childish ones rewritten etc etc - But then the profile isn't 'real' isn't a true reflection of the person whose profile it is and could be at the least, very misleading. I see a really bad profile as a form of 'natural selection' for want of a better term. What do you think? Better to leave well alone as sometimes the person asking for advice doesn't like the feedback anyway? Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always believed that my profile should tell it how it is

But there again that's me lol

If peeps have the truth about a person then they cant be disappointed if the truth comes out know what i mean??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer to be truthful and honest, liars only get found out, besides the profile as i see it is the window into the person; if its clouded by a one line "fancy a shag" kind of thing, mobile phone number, it only contains that warning notice, or says, i will fill in later but they registered several months ago, it tells me little about them, i wont wink or message or reply to any messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There have been loads of people asking for advice on their profiles and I used to post on them, sometimes the advice was taken but I've stopped doing it now for a few reasons. Seen a guy take off the fact that he prefers bareback and replaced it with only practices safe sex, aggressive or childish ones rewritten etc etc - But then the profile isn't 'real' isn't a true reflection of the person whose profile it is and could be at the least, very misleading. I see a really bad profile as a form of 'natural selection' for want of a better term. What do you think? Better to leave well alone as sometimes the person asking for advice doesn't like the feedback anyway? Z"

I think your right, people end up with a 'template' for their profile and a template for writing messages that not only takes away some individuality but with some encourages lies.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

absolutely agree and it was one of the things that I pointed out.... and it is the same with "advice" threads.... basically they may as well be the timewasters charter....

the only thing i now to people is simple:

Time, Patience, Common Sense

people who "get it" will understand what that means..... people who don't wont....

but at least you can tell those who do from those who don't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think a profile should be written by the person and not ask for advice as then its been manipulated in a way

mine is all my own words and its a 100% accurate which i know but some im not sure off

zoe i think ur right with what u said

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By *uro anchorMan
over a year ago

Coventry

"i think a profile should be written by the person and not ask for advice as then its been manipulated in a way

mine is all my own words and its a 100% accurate which i know but some im not sure off

zoe i think ur right with what u said "

i agree.. not much on mine but 100% genuine.. think if u lie u will always b caught out.. xx

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

so the next question from this is....

How do people say no, or how do you try and discourage people from doing this without looking like meanies?

all you can tell people is to do there due dilligences and look at other profiles to see how other people approach them, but if we do that then all I can see happening is people are going to rip off other's profiles....

interesting topic... yes we were all new ones, but I did so much reading before I dipped my toes in, and lurked online for a little while to have a better feel for the site...... whereas now all you seem to do is get people wanting to jump in and then find out they are "sinking" for want of a better word

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i would try be honest and tell them to be honest on the profile if they arent brad pitt or hung like a donkey say it, otherwise wont get you anywhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"all you can tell people is to do there due dilligences and look at other profiles to see how other people approach them..."

Do that and advise them to be patient, don't give up, read profiles and approach peeps in a nice way etc...

Or don't participate in the thread is the other option.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I think that if you need someone to help you make your profile more appealing are you going to need help when you're on a meet and then when you're in the bedroom

People should just be themselves and if that means they're not going to be successful then maybe this is'nt the right place to be

The tools to be a success are all here its up to people how they want to use them

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

Or don't participate in the thread is the other option.

which means the problem wont go away...

all that will then happen is that new people will start so call advise thread not knowing what problems we have had in the past.....

or people complaining that no one offers helps....

I think maybe one of the solutions is to point people towards this thread and then the reasonable one will understand why... the others won't...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There will always be peeps about to dish out advice, so one less from me won't be missed IMHO.

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By *urreyfun2008Man
over a year ago

East Grinstead

Profiles should provide a window onto the person, rather than being a sales brochure written by a sales person.

How often are we dissappointed with a product, after brilliant advertising copy was produced!!!

It could be worse, the site could allow videos.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I first joined this site I thought it was nice how members offered advice, but I then noticed the profiles became generic.

Like Zoe I've seen "barebackers" changed to "safe sex", "straight" men seeking tv/ts with glowing references from them suddenly hide verifications and now only looking to meet women.

What I find sad is people find a site like this, EVERY desire is catered for but they can't be honest in what they want and need spoon feeding in how to get meets.

If all the profiles follow the same template we won't have much to choose from!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends how you help them out - I made some suggestions for a couple, didn't add or change anything they said, but just said it in a way that was more readable.

Don't see any problem with that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my advice on such threads is always that they should write best to reflect themselves and not on the advice given by others...so i definitely agree with you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I think that advice threads in relation to profiles are not always useful. When written solely by yourself, it gives a reflection of what kind of person you are, rather than a profile that is written by all of us on here who have "chipped" in with what we think would work.

And when people comment that advice is never acted upon, well its not essential that it is either, again its not up to us what someone includes in their profile.

The profile advice threads tend to be written by single men who are at a loss to understand why women are not responding, and 99% of the time its not because a profile is badly written, single men have lots of competition, they need to stand out from the crowd

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i like this topic

we know people who have used the 'advice' tag as a way of directing people to their profile

we also know of those who really honestly would like some support

but the best advice given is always 'be yourself including all the cracks etc and make your profile readable'

we do evolve over time in this - i started off with no kissing now look at me !

so to change profiles from time to time does not mean you are pulling the wool over our eyes - i would just mention that your tastes or current desires have evolved

either way i do enjoy reading them

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

As an anonymous forum, I see nothing wrong with advice threads

Problem for “Some” is, when asking for advice it's a form of “attention seeking”

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I agree with you zoe. I thought about my profile before i wrote it. Hopefully i come across as the person i am. If someone writes on their profile fancy a fuck ring this number xxxxxx. Then thats there look out also ive given advice in the past but really if someone needs advice they must know they are doing something wrong. You only get out of things what you put into them.

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By *oe_Steve_NWest OP Couple
over a year ago

Bolton

I've only just come back online since I posted this thread and the responses are heartening! As Fabio said, no one wants to appear mean or be umwilling to help new people - we were all new once! I would still give advice if asked about anything that I have knowlede of but have stopped from posting on the 'wots rong wiv me profile' threads from people who can't understand why they aren't getting a positive response from people when they've got 'wana suk my cock NOW' on their profile! That's different from some one asking about general stuff - if you know what I mean! Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to agree with Fabio, the best thing to advise any of these posters is simply to have patience. In tems of practical advice, advice on pictures I don't mind giving, as the pictures will still be of the person in question and therefore personal of, and representative of them.

Spoon-feeding someone what to write on their profiles is another matter entirely. While spelling mistakes can be corrected, putting your words in someone else's mouth just robs their profile of any originality....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are 100% right and it's why we normally never reply to them threads also.

We like to read a profile that a person hasn't tailered to what he thinks others "want" to hear.

Tony

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

always tried to be honest, and accurate, as you will be found out, and then look a bigger idiot than you thought, computers have long memories and i dont! my gf says i make a lousey liar anyway! oww get off ,help

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

which was one of my biggest beefs with what was happening... the "generic" profile, which makes life harder for everyone because you have no way of telling who from who!

we all can see who thought about what they wrote, and who wrote something as an afterthought! and to honest it works well as it is....

maybe it is a case of keep it simple... "do some research"....

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

We hate the aggressive and very negative type of profiles..'dont do this, wont do that, forget this, forget that, blah de blah...I saw one the other day that virtually banned everyone on here from making contact!..you have to wonder how they ever meet anyone..

But, sadly, we have had to put a small warning on ours to encourage people to read the whole profile as the amount of 'blind' friends invites we were getting were becoming an annoyance..

We have been told our is too wordy..but we wanted to reflect the type of people we are and what we want in an honest way...surely that has to be better than

'ere 4 4un timz wif sex E ppl'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" ..........

We have been told our is too wordy..but we wanted to reflect the type of people we are and what we want in an honest way......................

Nah, not too wordy at all. If that's how and how long you feel it takes to describe you and what you're after - that's absolutely fine PLUS you've had the sense to break it into manageable chunks and those chunks into very readable paragraphs/ sentences.

It's the ones which ramble on interminably for hundreds of often misspelled words with no punctuation and the almost obligatory Sydney Uni nonsense which leave me feeling I'm losing the will to live.

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

Thanks voyeur..its nice to know we aint too far off the mark, even though we might be a little different to most here.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

so whats the general consensus then... just before i head to work (boo!)

we just ignorning them then.... actually I am just tempted to send people to this thread and just be done with it....

or can we just get another question added to the FAQ's.... that way we can just point people there.....

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