FabSwingers.com forum: Is it only me?

By *aredench OP Man
over a year ago

leeds

So I'm a young guy in a good relationship, other than when it comes to the sex. I literally get none. Tomorrow it will have been 7 days. 7 whole days with nothing?! Would I be wrong for expecting more?! Should I just deal with it?! Any advice very much appreciated! Thank you? - BD

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

Speak to the person you are in the relationship with about it. If your sexual expectations and drives are different, there could be all sorts of reasons why that is, and all manner of possible solutions.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Have you spoken to your partner

Women have amazing intuition,maybe she feels that she doesn't have your full attention?

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By *aredench OP Man
over a year ago

leeds

Yeah we've spoken a few times. I've been told "ok 3 times a week" "I want you to make the first move" "I feel sick" "I'm not in the mood" etc etc... and I answer every question and still get none!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If she's always had a low sex drive then you might not be able to change this.

When you have a problem with sex though don't make any talks about it just about sex. Find out why she doesn't want sex.

When she's not in the mood ask her what would get her in the mood? Does she like gifts or you doing something special for her so she can relax? You got young kids and all she wants is to sleep coz the kids have taken up all her energy?

Only if she's always had a low sex drive are problems with sex about sex. It's usually something else is going on and they really don't want intimacy or are prioritising something else before sex.

My ex pissed me off so we stopped having sex, he went looking elsewhere, i found out and dumped him. Took well over a year for me to forgive him and get back a decent friendly relationship with him for our kids sake.

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By *aredench OP Man
over a year ago

leeds

Nope no kids. From the sounds of it she is 'sexed-put' goes on about all the boyfriends and sexual experiences she's had. But I try and get some and I'm a perv! It's a joke!

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

I would say maybe that she wants something more special with you? If she has done it loads, maybe it has got same-y or boring, routine? I can't speak for myself, but Mr says he has never met another woman with such a high sex driven but its me, so I just think its normal, but its always exciting and experimental, even though its mainly just between ourselves these days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I'm a young guy in a good relationship, other than when it comes to the sex. I literally get none. Tomorrow it will have been 7 days. 7 whole days with nothing?! Would I be wrong for expecting more?! Should I just deal with it?! Any advice very much appreciated! Thank you? - BD"

She is taking the piss expecting you to want to spend time with her for her company and personality,

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Speak to the person you are in the relationship with about it. If your sexual expectations and drives are different, there could be all sorts of reasons why that is, and all manner of possible solutions."

^yup

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool

Is there any chance she may of stumbled across your profile here and is unhappy that you are seeking sex with other women ? !!

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By *ary_ArgyllMan
over a year ago

Argyll

You could explain to her that this is really affecting your relationship and suggest going to relate. They are really good, non-judgemental and provide a neutral space to get issues out in the open.

It could be she has actually had bad experience(s) in the past and this is causing a problem for her, but she might be too embarassed to come out with it on a one-to-one discussion.

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By *aredench OP Man
over a year ago

leeds

No chance at all. But even if she did I'm not here to meet just chat and have a laugh. Nothing harmful in it. And I'd admit it if she asked.

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool

"No chance at all. But even if she did I'm not here to meet just chat and have a laugh. Nothing harmful in it. And I'd admit it if she asked."

thats not what your profile says or what your list of interests show.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're only 22. Move on.

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

22 ???!!???

Its the end of the world!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd make a good attempt to solve the problem and if it doesn't work id be off

Hope things work out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're only 22. Move on."

And this is also my view.

Your very young, life should be fun, things are bothering you in this relationship. You are on a Swingers site and I don't really believe you are here just for a matey chat. You are unhappy about sex, feeling frustrated. Just go and have fun with others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nope no kids. From the sounds of it she is 'sexed-put' goes on about all the boyfriends and sexual experiences she's had. But I try and get some and I'm a perv! It's a joke!"

Idk what sexed-put means. Sounds like she just likes the idea of sex but not with you?

I'd ask her to sort this out, still find out what gets her in the mood and what turns her on and then work on that. Explain to her that you can't deal without sex and if she isn't willing to make some effort then next you need to make some demands that make or break your relationship. Concentrate on this paragraph more than the others.

And not being funny if you're looking for sex behind her back (your profile says this) then you really need to work out anything that works for you sexually, hopefully you and your girlfriend can work this out but if you don't and have to sort out fucking other women with her permission or leaving her for good coz she doesn't like that then so be it.

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool

Well, that was a quick change of profile lol

i hope she hasnt picked up on anything and that her lack of sexyness is just a blip in the relationship that mends soon.

have fun , but ffs if youre going to meet others, finish it with your lovely lady first. She deserves that.

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

7 days.. 7 days?

so do you want her to just agree to sex whenever YOU want it?

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

"No chance at all. But even if she did I'm not here to meet just chat and have a laugh. Nothing harmful in it. And I'd admit it if she asked."

For some women just chatting and setting other women can be as hurtful as cheating itself and you may think she doesn't know but as a women I can tell you she does she just can't prove it yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For some women just chatting and setting other women can be as hurtful as cheating itself and you may think she doesn't know but as a women I can tell you she does she just can't prove it yet "

Totally agree with this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot to learn...seven days without sex....oh crumbs...poor poor lad. My god...get real....when life gets more complicated and it usually does...lots of work...pressure..money...kids..bereavement .and so on...are you going to hit on a partner about sex after seven days...! You may not have those issues. ..but show some maturity...talk with her..she may have many reasons why she is not into it...maybe she isn't into someone that sounds like a kid...!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know i'm quite young as well. But, not having sex for 7 days is not the end of the world. It's not something that she HAS to do. You're only 22. If it's vital to in a relationship for you to have sex, then this may not be the one you want to be in.

Some things you have to compromise.

You being on the site is your own business and i'm not judging. But, sometimes you end up fucking up your own situation.

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

"No chance at all. But even if she did I'm not here to meet just chat and have a laugh. Nothing harmful in it. And I'd admit it if she asked."

Clearly you are hiding your profile from her. In my view, if you don't tell your partner, it's cheating, regardless of what you are meeting others for.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

If your sex drives are not compatible then this is clearly not a good relationship.

You are young OP so it's a learning curve but if regular sex and sex initiated by your partner as well as yourself is important to you then that's valid in a relationship.

However, it doesn't make either of you freaks or frigid or sex pests, just people with different sexual priorities.

If at this stage she is avoiding sex it could be an indication that other things are not quite right between you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only 7 days, period maybe ? As with many of these threads, we only have one side of the story so difficult to comment.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Only 7 days, period maybe ? As with many of these threads, we only have one side of the story so difficult to comment."

I get the impression that this stint has been 7 days but that it's regular enough to be an issue to him.

Incompatible sex drives can cause problems. Especially if the one feeling deprived starts to look elsewhere. If communication isn't working then going elsewhere without your partners knowledge and permission is not a solution. Far better to grasp the nettle and start having the bigger conversations.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

How did you originally attract your partner. All of the things that you did which resulted in you getting together and ultimately getting her into bed, do you still do them?

Maybe you just need to try harder to seduce her?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's what happens when you have kids work two jobs each

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By *ittenbutnotshyCouple
over a year ago

North Manchester

"No chance at all. But even if she did I'm not here to meet just chat and have a laugh. Nothing harmful in it. And I'd admit it if she asked."

Of course you are!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How does being here over a year fit into the hard done to position you have tried to place yourself into though

All seems very Bullcrap from the offset imo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe you just don't do it for her sexually? Perhaps a little less time on here and a little more time talking to her might help?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

being in love and having a fantastic partner/soul mate means you don't have to have sex every day or every week, there are times when your partner may not feel like making love and you have to respect that

Just give her lots of cuddles & kisses and keep telling her how much you love her

and lol, 7 days without is nothing; good job you are not part of the "armed forces" or work away from home, oil rigs or abroad

that is when true love and trust comes into effect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps your better half already has you rumbled?!

What an insult to her if she does already know!!

Maybe shes playing you at your own game and is getting her oats elsewhere?!

If you're in a relationship, why are you here and why is your profile even visible if you're only here socially?

Yes i am in a relationship, yes my profile is visible. But my oh has full knowledge and is welcome to look at my account as i've nothing to hide. And as i'm no longer meeting i have no interests ticked and my profile text says it all too.

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