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"Hell no!! It's incredibly rude and the height of indiscretion. " ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Hell no!! It's incredibly rude and the height of indiscretion. " ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Hell no!! It's incredibly rude and the height of indiscretion. " ![]() | |||
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"(Just picking up from something just mentioned in a thread) Have you ever contacted people who have left verifications to get a better idea of the person you are going to meet? It seems a reasonable idea to get a better picture of the person you are going to meet, rather than the flirts or potential buff you'd get on messages? I have been contacted previously about people I have met - just to say. " I've been contacted quite often by women interested in men I've left verifications for. I find it really intrusive. I left my verifications and that's that. I won't further disclose or be interrogated. I wouldn't dream of doing it to someone else. It's way too intense and it makes me want to tell the men they are interested in that they are sniffing round behind their backs (although I don't). Smacks of bunny boiler to me. | |||
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"seems the majority are saying it's rude. I might be missing something then. If we display our verifications, and according to the other thread and a good few other threads; verifications are over cooked and meets are disappointing or meets dont have the stamina they profess to have, ie. the veri was left to get a good veri. Surely a private message to those leaving it asking if they are actually worth meeting, isn't being so indiscreet - it is published after all?? With bdsm meets .. you could also get an better idea if they know what they are doing or not, over a 2 or 3 line verification" So you think it's a good idea to message a total stranger to ask about another total stranger YOU think you might want to meet when THEY possibly don't know you exist and may well have no interest in you at all? Ok. A | |||
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"seems the majority are saying it's rude. I might be missing something then. If we display our verifications, and according to the other thread and a good few other threads; verifications are over cooked and meets are disappointing or meets dont have the stamina they profess to have, ie. the veri was left to get a good veri. Surely a private message to those leaving it asking if they are actually worth meeting, isn't being so indiscreet - it is published after all?? With bdsm meets .. you could also get an better idea if they know what they are doing or not, over a 2 or 3 line verification So you think it's a good idea to message a total stranger to ask about another total stranger YOU think you might want to meet when THEY possibly don't know you exist and may well have no interest in you at all? Ok. A" ![]() | |||
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"seems the majority are saying it's rude. I might be missing something then. If we display our verifications, and according to the other thread and a good few other threads; verifications are over cooked and meets are disappointing or meets dont have the stamina they profess to have, ie. the veri was left to get a good veri. Surely a private message to those leaving it asking if they are actually worth meeting, isn't being so indiscreet - it is published after all?? With bdsm meets .. you could also get an better idea if they know what they are doing or not, over a 2 or 3 line verification" My experiences with BDSM has worked slightly different. I've had Doms in the past put me in touch with previous subs of theirs. Or with friends. I wouldn't be reaching out to their veris and asking them questions on the sly. It would serve no purpose. | |||
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"(Just picking up from something just mentioned in a thread) Have you ever contacted people who have left verifications to get a better idea of the person you are going to meet? It seems a reasonable idea to get a better picture of the person you are going to meet, rather than the flirts or potential buff you'd get on messages? I have been contacted previously about people I have met - just to say. I've been contacted quite often by women interested in men I've left verifications for. I find it really intrusive. I left my verifications and that's that. I won't further disclose or be interrogated. I wouldn't dream of doing it to someone else. It's way too intense and it makes me want to tell the men they are interested in that they are sniffing round behind their backs (although I don't). Smacks of bunny boiler to me. " I think you do the more bdsm side of meets - any good dom should be able to to give references. Any sub would want to know if the dom is trustworthy, this is a given in bdsm (touched on this in my above post, but this thread is a more general chat) | |||
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"seems the majority are saying it's rude. I might be missing something then. If we display our verifications, and according to the other thread and a good few other threads; verifications are over cooked and meets are disappointing or meets dont have the stamina they profess to have, ie. the veri was left to get a good veri. Surely a private message to those leaving it asking if they are actually worth meeting, isn't being so indiscreet - it is published after all?? With bdsm meets .. you could also get an better idea if they know what they are doing or not, over a 2 or 3 line verification So you think it's a good idea to message a total stranger to ask about another total stranger YOU think you might want to meet when THEY possibly don't know you exist and may well have no interest in you at all? Ok. A" well if the answer you get back is - 'I dont remember them that well' they might not have been as good as the verification they left, if you get my point. It's a simple enough question, say a profile looks a bit too good to be true for instance, say the verifications are socials or a a little nondescript, or maybe as said you are going for a harder meet and it is your first time doing it and want to gauge how they are...? | |||
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"I would never expect someone to question the veracity of a veris, but I would understand if a potential meet asked someone who I had met some questions to reassure them. I would equally understand if they chose not to answer said questions. " ![]() | |||
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"seems the majority are saying it's rude. I might be missing something then. If we display our verifications, and according to the other thread and a good few other threads; verifications are over cooked and meets are disappointing or meets dont have the stamina they profess to have, ie. the veri was left to get a good veri. Surely a private message to those leaving it asking if they are actually worth meeting, isn't being so indiscreet - it is published after all?? With bdsm meets .. you could also get an better idea if they know what they are doing or not, over a 2 or 3 line verification So you think it's a good idea to message a total stranger to ask about another total stranger YOU think you might want to meet when THEY possibly don't know you exist and may well have no interest in you at all? Ok. A well if the answer you get back is - 'I dont remember them that well' they might not have been as good as the verification they left, if you get my point. It's a simple enough question, say a profile looks a bit too good to be true for instance, say the verifications are socials or a a little nondescript, or maybe as said you are going for a harder meet and it is your first time doing it and want to gauge how they are...? " Answer? Try it and see how many answers are forthcoming! If a veri is social then what are you hoping to discover? What they drink? What the hot topics of conversation were? If the veri is vague and nondescript? I suspect it's that way because the parties concerned don't want to share graphic details - so why would they share with a random stranger making enquiries? As I said - if you think it's ok and a good idea then go for it. I'm sure the results will be useful. A | |||
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"Hell no!! It's incredibly rude and the height of indiscretion. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Spot on. Veris may be public, but they are public for one reason only - so people can read them and make up their own minds. The idea that their public nature is an invitation for someone to intrude on the person who left the veri for their own purposes is mind boggling! | |||
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"seems the majority are saying it's rude. I might be missing something then. If we display our verifications, and according to the other thread and a good few other threads; verifications are over cooked and meets are disappointing or meets dont have the stamina they profess to have, ie. the veri was left to get a good veri. Surely a private message to those leaving it asking if they are actually worth meeting, isn't being so indiscreet - it is published after all?? With bdsm meets .. you could also get an better idea if they know what they are doing or not, over a 2 or 3 line verification You are missing the point! Majorly." can you give explanation as to why there are so many threads about 'a question of stamina', 'disappointing meets' ... on and on, I am not going to list the threads but they are about meets where the veris indicate good meets, yet stamina or experience is lacking. This could be solved by a discreet message. Personally wouldnt go running to someone I had met 10 months ago, where it was quite certain we weren't going to meet again. I would want them to enjoy their meet | |||
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"seems the majority are saying it's rude. I might be missing something then. If we display our verifications, and according to the other thread and a good few other threads; verifications are over cooked and meets are disappointing or meets dont have the stamina they profess to have, ie. the veri was left to get a good veri. Surely a private message to those leaving it asking if they are actually worth meeting, isn't being so indiscreet - it is published after all?? With bdsm meets .. you could also get an better idea if they know what they are doing or not, over a 2 or 3 line verification You are missing the point! Majorly. can you give explanation as to why there are so many threads about 'a question of stamina', 'disappointing meets' ... on and on, I am not going to list the threads but they are about meets where the veris indicate good meets, yet stamina or experience is lacking. This could be solved by a discreet message. Personally wouldnt go running to someone I had met 10 months ago, where it was quite certain we weren't going to meet again. I would want them to enjoy their meet" Simple. Different strokes for different folks. One persons 'amazing' is another's 'average'. So any feedback you did manage to squeeze out of someone would be pointless as it's just their view - yours could be worlds apart. And there really aren't that many threads such as you describe - and those that do appear often say far more about the thread starter than their meets. A | |||
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"(Just picking up from something just mentioned in a thread) Have you ever contacted people who have left verifications to get a better idea of the person you are going to meet? It seems a reasonable idea to get a better picture of the person you are going to meet, rather than the flirts or potential buff you'd get on messages? I have been contacted previously about people I have met - just to say. I've been contacted quite often by women interested in men I've left verifications for. I find it really intrusive. I left my verifications and that's that. I won't further disclose or be interrogated. I wouldn't dream of doing it to someone else. It's way too intense and it makes me want to tell the men they are interested in that they are sniffing round behind their backs (although I don't). Smacks of bunny boiler to me. I think you do the more bdsm side of meets - any good dom should be able to to give references. Any sub would want to know if the dom is trustworthy, this is a given in bdsm (touched on this in my above post, but this thread is a more general chat) " I wouldn't meet someone if I was unsure of them. Just because Mr X was nice at his last meet, doesn't prove he won't go nuts and murder me. | |||
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"Hell no!! It's incredibly rude and the height of indiscretion. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I'd think it very indiscreet messaging someone you had met a good time ago, when someone is being open that they are looking to have sex with that person myself. They have approached you in confidence to get your opinion because they may have doubts. Anyway - it's an interesting point of discussion - it's not meant to cause a row. | |||
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"(Just picking up from something just mentioned in a thread) Have you ever contacted people who have left verifications to get a better idea of the person you are going to meet? It seems a reasonable idea to get a better picture of the person you are going to meet, rather than the flirts or potential buff you'd get on messages? I have been contacted previously about people I have met - just to say. I've been contacted quite often by women interested in men I've left verifications for. I find it really intrusive. I left my verifications and that's that. I won't further disclose or be interrogated. I wouldn't dream of doing it to someone else. It's way too intense and it makes me want to tell the men they are interested in that they are sniffing round behind their backs (although I don't). Smacks of bunny boiler to me. I think you do the more bdsm side of meets - any good dom should be able to to give references. Any sub would want to know if the dom is trustworthy, this is a given in bdsm (touched on this in my above post, but this thread is a more general chat) " Actually, I do my swinging meets on Fabswingers and the swinging women have contacted me about verifications I've left on male swingers accounts. No BDSM has ever been mentioned. I am a fetishist but I'm in a relationship with a swinger. I swing ( in some fashion) with him. So feel able to comment on swinging threads as well as BDSM ones. | |||
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"seems the majority are saying it's rude. I might be missing something then. If we display our verifications, and according to the other thread and a good few other threads; verifications are over cooked and meets are disappointing or meets dont have the stamina they profess to have, ie. the veri was left to get a good veri. Surely a private message to those leaving it asking if they are actually worth meeting, isn't being so indiscreet - it is published after all?? With bdsm meets .. you could also get an better idea if they know what they are doing or not, over a 2 or 3 line verification You are missing the point! Majorly. can you give explanation as to why there are so many threads about 'a question of stamina', 'disappointing meets' ... on and on, I am not going to list the threads but they are about meets where the veris indicate good meets, yet stamina or experience is lacking. This could be solved by a discreet message. Personally wouldnt go running to someone I had met 10 months ago, where it was quite certain we weren't going to meet again. I would want them to enjoy their meet" It's pointless as well as pit of order. One mans/girl " got great stamina"!" Amazing in bed" is another mans/girl " not that great" every one is different! You have to make your own choices and judgements, not someone else's for Christ sake | |||
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"Hell no!! It's incredibly rude and the height of indiscretion. " fully agree totally not acceptable we would say ![]() | |||
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"The day I need to ask for someone else's opinion on a person rather than making my own mind up is the day I need to be slapped into next week for being a c**t" ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"To answer the op's question (and it was a question, not a statement). Something like this has happened to me. My perspective on this was, is the person that insecure in themselves? Which then moved to, this is turning into a lamppost pissing moment. Which concluded in that the first thought was feeding the second. But hey, that was me, from my take, everyone is different. ![]() When someone contacted me, it was due to them looking to meet a pretty (very) hard edged couple, they were a little wary - I told them my exp (essentially that they were cool as daisy's), they were thinking they were too much for them, but were very glad they met them is all I can say. | |||
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"To answer the op's question (and it was a question, not a statement). Something like this has happened to me. My perspective on this was, is the person that insecure in themselves? Which then moved to, this is turning into a lamppost pissing moment. Which concluded in that the first thought was feeding the second. But hey, that was me, from my take, everyone is different. ![]() Why couldn't the person that spoke to you, speak to the pretty hard edged couple themselves, at length. Explain why they were wary and work out if they were compatible? If I was part of the couple, I'd be a bit annoyed that I'd been discussed and also that the person felt they had to check up on me rather than just have a conversation with me. I wouldn't proceed with play with them. A verification is simply that. It's not an open channel for everyone to go delving round in someone's past sexual history looking for answers that they should be working out for themselves. | |||
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"Hell no!! It's incredibly rude and the height of indiscretion. " ![]() ![]() | |||
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" If you are annoyed at someone wanting to know about little more about you, maybe you have your answer. And these veris are an open way for anybody to look into a person's sexual history, why else have or display them. We are all adults... if you want to answer a mail from someone, I'm sure you'll pass that hurdle should you come to it. " I just wouldn't be so disrespectful as to discuss someone I've played with, with their potential new play partner. Unless of course I've been asked to as a reference. It's all about trust and discretion. I find people that go snooping are not the kind of people I want to play with. I'd rather them be open with me and say they are unsure rather than pester people I've played with in my past for information. | |||
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"(Just picking up from something just mentioned in a thread) Have you ever contacted people who have left verifications to get a better idea of the person you are going to meet? It seems a reasonable idea to get a better picture of the person you are going to meet, rather than the flirts or potential buff you'd get on messages? I have been contacted previously about people I have met - just to say. " No we haven't , nor will we . But plenty have done it to us , and we think it's a bit rude . A veri says all that's needed surely ? ![]() | |||
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"(Just picking up from something just mentioned in a thread) Have you ever contacted people who have left verifications to get a better idea of the person you are going to meet? It seems a reasonable idea to get a better picture of the person you are going to meet, rather than the flirts or potential buff you'd get on messages? I have been contacted previously about people I have met - just to say. " Actually yes I have, in the 6wks or so I've been on here... Someone contacted me about someone on the list and I politely told them to get knotted. You want to know something about that person, ask them. | |||
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