FabSwingers.com forum: No thanks

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Do most people just ignore messages they don't want to respond to or do you say no thanks not interested.

Which would you prefer ?

Normally I don't mind not getting a reply but it's starting to get to me. Just once a no thanks would be nice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It goes with the territory and you get used to it after a while.

Some ladies fear 'reprisal' messages if they reply with a no. Some purely do not have the time.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

This has never been raised before, but I think that a no reply means they're not interested. Z

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah I know and that's how I take it but once in a while a polite acknowledgement would be nice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh ok then...send me a pm and i'll you you a "no thanks" if it will make you feel better

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"oh ok then...send me a pm and i'll you you a "no thanks" if it will make you feel better

hahahaha too kind!

lol

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By *ittle-Miss-MuffetCouple
over a year ago

Chester / North Wales

I would say no reply means they are generally not interested. If someone doesn't reply to us we wouldn't get in touch again, unless say we noticed they'd checked out our profile a few times since - it has happened where emails can get buried under a mountain of others. We also have a habit of bulk deleting by accident too! Or sometimes we are just too busy at the time and we've forgot.

As a general rule though, while it would be nice if everyone sent a polite 'no thanks', if someone IS interested they will get back to you..

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By *ast and modifiedCouple
over a year ago

near glasgow

"Do most people just ignore messages they don't want to respond to or do you say no thanks not interested.

Which would you prefer ?

Normally I don't mind not getting a reply but it's starting to get to me. Just once a no thanks would be nice. "
what do u expect when u only have cock pics and cant accomm.smell a rat right away,but hey its only my opinion and i call it as i see it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im sorry but I just delete the message if I don't want to take it any further. To busy to reply to all mail, so I only reply to the messages I like.

I still get hastle off the people I've deleted but that's life x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Can't accom as I share with 2 other people and it may raise dome awkward questions I'm nit ready to answer.

And only cock pics cause my face would probably scare more people away lol

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Yeah I know and that's how I take it but once in a while a polite acknowledgement would be nice. "

now this is going to sound really harsh...

if it is getting to you.... walk!!! simple as.....

in the end it is suppose to be fun... getting to know people is fun to me, playing shouldn't be the be all and end all ......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't accom as I share with 2 other people and it may raise dome awkward questions I'm nit ready to answer.

And only cock pics cause my face would probably scare more people away lol

So many people in shares now. Most sharing with their wives or girlfriends though we think. And cock shots get very boring. A full length body shot is much more appealing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well im not even saying no just going to block sick of the abuse i get when i say no

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

i do try to say no thanks etc as you are right it is polite

gets annoying when they star asking why or begging meto change my mind etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was told to f off and not waste time, as I refused to entertain him after sending him a wink to congratulate him for looking good for his age.

Since when does the wink lead to meets???

Especially when it is a one-liner profile with nothing special except just a pic???!!!

Blocked!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do most people just ignore messages they don't want to respond to or do you say no thanks not interested.

Which would you prefer ?

Normally I don't mind not getting a reply but it's starting to get to me. Just once a no thanks would be nice. "

I work on the basis that, if someone has at least shown a bit of initiative AND read my profile BUT has somehow managed to misunderstand what I offer, I'll respond with a 'thanks but no thanks'.

If I don't see any indication of any of the mitigating factors above I'll initially ignore and follow any further contact with a ban.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

find alot don't read what we've put on our profile..but still reply with a "no thanks"...just us, showing a bit of common courtesy

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

It would be nice to get some form of acknowledgement but I'm slowly coming round to accepting that it ain't gonna happen all the time - or even some of the time.

Have had an occasion where a couple contacted me asking for pics, to which I duly replied... my mail was then promptly deleted and I never heard back from them. I can fully understand that they weren't interested in pursuing things after seeing my mugshot - I've got the sort of face that only one's mother could love - but I did think that if you're the one instigating something, then the least you can do is say, "Thanks but you're too damn ugly for us!".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was told to f off and not waste time, as I refused to entertain him after sending him a wink to congratulate him for looking good for his age.

Since when does the wink lead to meets???

Especially when it is a one-liner profile with nothing special except just a pic???!!!

Blocked!

ah the wink...the one with the unwritten rules that we're all supposed to know!

I actually do send thanks to guys that send winks...whereas if a guy sends a bad message (ie is crass), I won't respond.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I generally say no thanks when I'm not interested. However, there are some days when that's more grief than it's worth. I don't need to have a game of ping pong with someone I have no intention of ever meeting. If people could accept a polite "no thanks" and move along the that would be great but it's not always the case. You gotta just get a thicker skin and accept that if you don't get a response, the person isn't interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're quite happy for people to ignore us if they're not interested. Lets be fair if they don't want to meet us that's fair enough, it ain't the end of the world and unless they want their house rewired or a bathroom fitted, there's no need for them/us ever to have any dialogue again, so if they ignore us - not a problem.

Likewise if we have a message from someone that we ain't interested in, 9 times out of 10 the message will be ignored and eventually deleted.

We've yet to understand why so many people become so would up ove a message that gets ignored or deleted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We've yet to understand why so many people become so would up ove a message that gets ignored or deleted."

You're not along: I struggle to understand that too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorta with Luke on this one.

Having an initial message ignored is fine - with the amount of messages some people receive, I don't blame them for just deleting and moving on. But what is annoying - in fact very ignorant - is when people do reply to a message, maybe even to another one after that, and maybe get to see your friend-only/face pictures, and then refuse to acknowledge you with even so much as a "Actually, you're not for me. Bye"

I've had about half a dozen people in message conversations on here that might stretch to seven or eight each way, and then when I message again the following day I get ignored. I've had lots who just collect the picture and ignore you - including some seemingly well respected members with plenty of history and verifications. I've even had one of those members who replied to my detailed messaged by asking for face pics, and when I responded with said pics she didn't just ignore me, she blocked me too!

It's no wonder that people resort to copy/paste messages to say hello, when so many considered and well-written messages are just disregarded.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I won't reply to guys who simply don't make the effort to read my profile. If I just receive a 'hi' msg but he's written the header required then i will respond but if the header is there but the guy just ignores everything he has read on my page then I won't bother. Had a guy the other day do this and he came back with a torrent of abuse about my weight and how i should join a site for people my own size lol what was he doing sending me a msg in the first place if he doesn't like large women?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

each to there own ,but a no thanks dosnt hurt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the reprisal messages that we very often got when we did reply with a no thanks that has stopped us doing it now

I suppose some people would say you should not let the minority get to you but it happened all to often and would often get very nasty messages when we replied with a ... Thanks for the message but it's a no thanks at the moment but we do hope you find what your are looking for

So it might seem like to others that we are being rude but it just saves a he'll of a lot of hassle for us Swinging is supposed to be fun and getting abusive messages just was wiping the fun away

D & A

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

"We've yet to understand why so many people become so would up ove a message that gets ignored or deleted."

Just out of interest, do you contact many people yourselves or are you mostly contacted by others? I think that most single males, for example, spend a hugely disproportionate amount of their time writing and sending messages compared to receiving and reading them.

What I'm getting at is that I think that one's perception of the ignored / deleted mails may differ depending upon whether you're the one who has spent some considerable time writing more than just a one-liner.

As GoodCleanFilth says, it's understandable that having well-written messages which constantly get ignored or deleted can lead people to just using the copy 'n' paste approach, simply because it gets pretty damn disheartening after a while.

It ends up becoming something of a self-fulfilling prophecy... females and couples dislike the one-liner or copy 'n' paste messages they receive so they ignore or delete messages, and the males dislike writing well-written mails only to have them ignored or deleted so resort to writing one-liners or copying 'n' pasting from their standard template. Something or someone has gotta give otherwise we ain't gonna get anywhere fast.

Anyway, I don't want it to sound like I'm moaning or having a whine... I was just trying to proffer a viewpoint that perhaps some people hadn't considered.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've done both ignore and say no thanks. Either way someone will be upset. Say no thanks and you get a message asking why, reply saying your not interested then get told your profile is misleading and to F off the site.

Ingnore and delete and get the same message asking why and the circle begins again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"each to there own ,but a no thanks dosnt hurt"

...you're right, but no-one has asked you to write that message either.

Ironically, a gent tried to post a message on this thread earlier about how if we didn't have time to respond, then we had no right being on here and inadvertently pm'd his response to me instead.

politely, i responded that i thought he meant to post to this thread...i received in return a rant about how he did indeed mean to post it on here and how relevant his post was anyhow...then he blocked me.

...now, this gent was complaining about lack of manners and how it is only polite to respond to everyone who messages us....now, how am I supposed to conclude from that, that i am in the wrong and I should be polite and respond to everyone?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" ............

.................."

That's the problem, isn't it? Some folks aren't prepared to put the work in to get the results. There are very few successful shortcuts to success around here.

It's like dogging. A lot of people are keen to go dogging provided someone will tell them where to be and when to be there.

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By *entcouple4550Couple
over a year ago

canterbury

I believe that if someone has the time to open your message then they have the time to send a 'thanks but no thanks' message if thats what they feel. It takes seconds. I feel very strongly about it being basic courtesy and good manners. However it seems to be generally accepted on here that you just have to put up with it.. I rarely let it go however.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ignore the message or send a 'no thanks' - the end result is still the same in either event - you aint getting a shag off me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ignore the message or send a 'no thanks' - the end result is still the same in either event - you aint getting a shag off me

playin' hard to get then are we?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ignore the message or send a 'no thanks' - the end result is still the same in either event - you aint getting a shag off me

playin' hard to get then are we?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I believe that if someone has the time to open your message then they have the time to send a 'thanks but no thanks' message if thats what they feel. It takes seconds. I feel very strongly about it being basic courtesy and good manners. However it seems to be generally accepted on here that you just have to put up with it.. I rarely let it go however. "

Disagree 100%!!

If the FIRST sentence says I'm not meeting due to medical problems and a man messages me for a meet - the message doesn't even get read - delete.

Do you really expect me to respond?!! Really?!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Disagree 100%!!

If the FIRST sentence says I'm not meeting due to medical problems and a man messages me for a meet - the message doesn't even get read - delete.

Do you really expect me to respond?!! Really?!!

I agree,i wasnt meeting for a couple of months in the summer as i'd had an op,couldnt have put it more clearly on our profile that i wasnt meeting and i was still getting emails asking to meet,each email got deleted and i even recieved a couple of abusive messages because i had deleted emails.

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By *enderbycoupleCouple
over a year ago

derbyshire or localish

[Removed by poster at 19/11/10 13:58:31]

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By *enderbycoupleCouple
over a year ago

derbyshire or localish

exactly...if you dont make an effort dont expect to get a response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always say in my messages that I have broad shoulders and am happy to take a thanks but no thanks response if I do not fit the bill.

Those who respond with a no (not as many now as it used to be lol) always get a note saying thanks for replying to my message from me.

I guess it may clog up their message box, but manners cost nothing.

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

on the other hand, if 'they' take the time to read the profile first, then in a lot of cases 'they' should know that no reply = no thanks

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By *corpio67Man
over a year ago

hillingdon

"I was told to f off and not waste time, as I refused to entertain him after sending him a wink to congratulate him for looking good for his age.

Since when does the wink lead to meets???

Especially when it is a one-liner profile with nothing special except just a pic???!!!

Blocked!

you can wink me anytime, you will definitely get a thankyou!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we always reply to every message personally i think its rude not o

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I send a reply to those that read my profile before mailing me which is always a very low percentage.

I dont bother replying to messages that are one liners like fancy a fuck,or hi how are you or stuff like that.

Would take forever.

Do all couples/singles stop to chat to everyone that they pass in the street that say morning to you wether you really want to chat with them or not? I dont recon so.

So why do you think it is rude to not do the same on here?

No reply equals no thanks.

The couple who said its rude to reply to everyone that mails you would you still do that if you were a single fem with 100s of emails every week,every month.... I doubt it, you would have to become more selective who you replied to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest I only reply to people who interest me. I state on my profile 'no pic no reply' but they still keep coming regardless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i used to reply to all my messages even if it was a simple no thankk, but i got so many men messaging me back with rude and nasty come backs telling they can do better than me anyway etc i stop replying to mail unless i was interested in the person

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think some men reliase how much mail single women receive, so its impossible for them to reply to everyone......unless they hire a PA.

So fellas, if you don't get a reply, don't take it personally, cos you would do the same if the roles were reversed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i used to reply to all my messages even if it was a simple no thankk, but i got so many men messaging me back with rude and nasty come backs telling they can do better than me anyway etc i stop replying to mail unless i was interested in the person"

Same here...

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