FabSwingers.com forum: couples playing seperately

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I was just wondering people thoughts and experience on playing seperately, Wea re a couple and I (fem) would like to try playng alone but hubby doesn't see the point or need. Would like other idea's about this but wothout any nasty comments constructive discussion only xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was just wondering people thoughts and experience on playing seperately, Wea re a couple and I (fem) would like to try playng alone but hubby doesn't see the point or need. Would like other idea's about this but wothout any nasty comments constructive discussion only xxxxx

"
......i reckon when you play alone ,it's quite different to playing as a couple.being together ,he can see if you're safe,playing within your rules maybe? one on one,things can get a bit more intimate.....well that's just my views anyway.x

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

I'd say that you need to know why you want to do this and explain it to your husband - and do you want to meet couples, single guys, single females? If he isn't happy then you really can't do it, in my opinion. I know couples who do meet separately and it works for them but everyone needs to be comfortable and above board. Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The way I see it if you play together with other people thats swinging.

If you play alone would it be with a few others or just one on one? If its with others then thats like telling him he isn't welcome at your party.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For some couples it works.

It is good to discuss such things but if either parnter is against it don't do it is my view.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I totally agree with both of your comments. I've alwas said it would only be someone he approved of or we'd met as a couple. I'd be up for meeting singles or couples on my own. At least I do know I'd never do it behind his back xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know a couple and she plays alone with blokes. They pick her up then drop her off and then her hubby fucks her when she gets back as she tells him what she's done. But he gets off on it so it works.

If you're fella doesn't want you to play alone then its a rocky road from the off set. Good luck though, hope you find a compromise

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

Is it just you that would potentially meet alone or will your husband be going out meeting couples or single women? How do you feel about that? Z

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I don't have a problem with him meeting alone though may feel different if he did (but would only know once it happens) I've told him he can but said he doesn't want to. I totally understand his feelings and will respect them either way. be noice to just do it oce and then if he not happy i'd never ask again x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The way I see it if you play together with other people thats swinging.

If you play alone would it be with a few others or just one on one? If its with others then thats like telling him he isn't welcome at your party.

If its one on one thats just 2 people having sex and often that includes perhaps a drink or a chat afterwards which is a bit more intimate. He can offer you that so why do you need to get it elsewhere? "
.........................they can also offer sex to each other ,but choose to have it with other couples also...same thing really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't have a problem with him meeting alone though may feel different if he did (but would only know once it happens) I've told him he can but said he doesn't want to. I totally understand his feelings and will respect them either way. be noice to just do it oce and then if he not happy i'd never ask again x"

I think thats reasonable. If he lets you do it once and he's really not happy then for you to say you won't ask again is a fair compromise.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

Fair enough, if you can deal with all scenarios - personally I'd advise you to keep this as a fantasy as it could relly end in tears, if you were a guy suggesting that he wanted to play alone and his partner wasn't happy and didn't want to do it, you would probably have got a right slating! Z

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

lol yeah i probalby would've. Joys of being a woman i guess lol

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By *andsomgeorgeMan
over a year ago

Rugby

I've played with couples as couples and on occassion with the fem of the couple on her own but it worked for them. He used to enjoy coming back and hearing about it afterwards. He used to mail me saying how horny it had got him.

It's interesting looking at the dynamics when meeting couples. Quite often it appears to me to be the woman who is the driving force so to speak and the man is chilled out but has fun.

I'm glad you are lucky enough to be able to play together and enjoy it - that's a big plus you can take out of your situation. I guess if he's not keen on seperate playing and the itch for you to try it doesn't go away you have a more difficult decision to make. Must be very frustrating though - especially when one half doesn't mind if the other plays seperately (or at least the idea).

Good luck and I hope you find something that you're both comfortable with as you are both very lucky already.

HG x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We play together and Debs also meets guys on her own.... But it's always in our house ( unless we really know the guy) and I am normaly around somewhere... In the same room watching or in a dif room if it's a one on one she wants! I always meet the guy ... Or talk to him on MSN and they know I am in the house.. For us, it's about keeping safe.

One last thing.... We feel if you are playing alone, you must be 100% open and honest with your partner! But yeah.... You can always try it once ( with his say so) and see how it works out..

Have fun and keep safe.... John x

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By *-and-KCouple
over a year ago

Back of Beyond

Why do you feel the need to meet someone, be it male or female without your husband?

I think thats the question you need to ask yourself.

Is it that you can't let your feelings out with him there? Do you feel restrained with him in attendance?

Could it be that deep down you want the freedom of not being married?

Once you have answered the reason you want to play alone. You then need to address how your husband will feel if you did.

Think on this. At present you have a relationship. Your hubby is not happy that you want to play alone. Now if you press forward with doing so, how is it going to affect your marriage? Could it be the thin end of the wedge on the road to divorce?

You need to think long and hard over how you proceed. Notice I haven't jumped one way or the other? Its not for us to make the decision for you, plenty of advice from everyone, but at the end of the day, you need to do that yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We play together and apart well john gets turned on knowing i am playing and at times i play here at home alone in the wing of the house he likes to know i am safe . When i get back to his bed hours of play he is so turned on thinking what i have been up too . Its each to there own i have been meeting fems years alone and now i meet single men love it. john let me free to do as i like so i come back. Said he cant cage me but set me free to come back. JO XXX

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By *havenangel1Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

I play single fems alone with hubby's consent and love it. i go off and play with males at chams and he comes to find me when he is ready or i find him when i'm ready. This works for us so that could be something to consider, maybe he would be more comfortable with it in the club scene?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We Play as couple sometimes but i do let my hubby play alone, since i been working too tired to swing but i know john been playing alone and i am happy for him to do so

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By *omcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

I have a FB and we created a couple profile and are honest with other couples we met about our complicated personal circumstances One problem we have is trying to get all 4 people together available at the same time ..work, family,babysitters the usual stuff so we now tell each other if to play as singles or we have had a 3some recently her firts MMF and I have enjoyed two meets with MMF and it works for us ...sometimes its easier to arrange and allows us bothe new experiences and fun which is what it is all about in our views James

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it works for us.i look for fem/couples to meet on here and shes same only she uses another site.we found we could never agree on singles,couples to play with plus it was hard for us to play together due to baby sitters. this way be both play and have fu.the best of both worlds we think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You state that 'hubby doesn't see the point or need' that sounds very clear and the only peoples opinion that matters are his and yours.

I would hope that this thread doesn't give you increased vigour to go ahead and pressure him into something he obviously doesn't want by choice.

I have met married women playing alone with husbands consent. Often the consent is whole hearted, but sometimes it's under duress. The later can be very messy, and in some cases cannot be repaired.

I would therefore advise caution, but whatever you do make sure it's your choice so that your happy to live with the consequences, be they good or not so good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there is no point or need to play alone but then there is no point or need to meet together, you do it because you want to not because you need to

Having said that if your not both happy about it i would leave it as it will only corse arguments

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i reckon when you play alone ,it's quite different to playing as a couple.being together ,he can see if you're safe,playing within your rules maybe?"

i find that quite an odd thing to say

if you trust someone you shouldnt have to be there to see you are playing within the rules that have been set surely?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

it's very interesting reading peoples views. thanks for the input. Obviously none of this will affect our choices it's just an interesting insight xxx

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By *hsweetCouple
over a year ago

north west

Hi,

there are one or two scenarios ive thought of whilst reading this thread, each a little different so please bear with me.

Hubby gets to choose the guy, maybe from Fab or wherever else your fun lies, that way hubby has a say and little control in the events.

Maybe the first meet you agree with, is just for drinks at a bar, you both go home separately, hubby could get incredibly excited at your tales from the meet whilst waiting up for you.

A variation on the meet is that you take him back to yours later after the bar drinks for MMF with hubby.

You could get an hotel room with the guy, and either hubby turns up during the fun, or you txt him immediately the guy leaves and you and hubby have your time together.

All this, at the beginning i may add, should possibly involve hubby whether in the fun or just choosing the guy etc, that way he is not left out.

Progressively time will come that you can eventually start to meet guys alone as and when you all agree. By then hubby may be comfortable with you saying 'don't wait up, ive got a meet'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im glad im single this is all to complicated for me

its lovely to just be able to choose who you play with and when youn want to without having to think of anyone esle lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"im glad im single this is all to complicated for me

its lovely to just be able to choose who you play with and when youn want to without having to think of anyone esle lol"

ditto!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We some times play alone. Not often and only with people we both know(so no strangers).

some times it is just not pos for us both to play at the same time.

Both of us ALWAYS let the other know fully about it and it is not a comomon occurance.

But it does happen. If we are at a club then we might go off separately and look for fun, and just meet up every so often. But in that case we like to finish the night together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You state that 'hubby doesn't see the point or need' that sounds very clear and the only peoples opinion that matters are his and yours.

I would hope that this thread doesn't give you increased vigour to go ahead and pressure him into something he obviously doesn't want by choice.

I have met married women playing alone with husbands consent. Often the consent is whole hearted, but sometimes it's under duress. The later can be very messy, and in some cases cannot be repaired.

I would therefore advise caution, but whatever you do make sure it's your choice so that your happy to live with the consequences, be they good or not so good. "

I think you have addressed some of the issues exactly here. We can all give opinions but its yours and his that truly count. What i would suggest is for you to be frank with him and ask him to be the same with you. You might find if he tells you his concerns you will be better able to decide if your going to play solo or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it seems your hubby isnt happy about it and you dont seem happy with that...its a can of worms your opening and do hope you are sure your able to deal with the out come...

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

We wouldn't do separate meets although we're happy to split up in clubs and go our separate ways as the night goes on. We have to look for eachother at the end of the evening - it's always easy to tell which playroom Rose is in by her noises!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have played seperately at parties on a few occaisions, although we both arrived and left together each time.

We've also discussed playing seperately when we both wanted to play with singles that we'd met at parties, but haven't got around to doing it yet.

May be one day though, who knows?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we play seperately and together. I have to say though that Hubby has an exceptionally difficult time getting solo meets as alot of women don't believe he has my permission (despite the fact that I'm happy to chat with them to verify that). As a woman though I have no problem at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We only meet as a couple but do play alone at clubs on a Friday, we're in a safe environment but have the freedom to go off and play with whom ever we wish.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

My boyfriend and i play alone as well as together, more alone to be honest. It works for us. We where both swingers when we met and have never felt the need to change but what works for one couple may not work for the next

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we think it depends on how long you have been swingers lets face it you get fed up of the same old stuff .we think its ok to let linda go with a cple for a 3sum then the other girl can cum t ours and do the same . as long as use trust each other why not . plus saves looking for them so called single females yeah thats them that sleep with every fucker and think there gods gift lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I must admit I wouldnt like my guy to go and swing alone, Id be upset, and I wouldnt do it either.

But, as a couple, meeting a couple at a club and playing in different rooms is an entirely different thing. We have talked about this in general, never in relation to ourselves and we have said that we dont want to do this. I do like him to be near me, its part of the swinging experience for me.

But I can understand it when couples do play in different rooms because they feel they can truly let go and I must admit it would be sexy talking about it together later, but I personally am not ready to do that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as you have stated your hubby is not happy about you meeting cpls, single guy's or ladies alone. there is no need to ask us about what we feel, its what your hubby feels you should take note of

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i do it was just a topic of conversation

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By *empnbunkCouple
over a year ago

south coast

it works for some ... us included.... just try not to push him into agreein or it could backfire on u dramatically, for it to work both partners have to b 100 % behind it. hope u 2 come to the rite decision for yous happy swinging x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know a couple and she plays alone with blokes. They pick her up then drop her off and then her hubby fucks her when she gets back as she tells him what she's done. But he gets off on it so it works.

If you're fella doesn't want you to play alone then its a rocky road from the off set. Good luck though, hope you find a compromise

could the compromise be sep room swinging ..not for us but its an alternative

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By *empnbunkCouple
over a year ago

south coast

If you're fella doesn't want you to play alone then its a rocky road from the off set. Good luck though, hope you find a compromise

could the compromise be sep room swinging ..not for us but its an alternative

Very good point ... I would recommend that as a starting point to any cpl thinking of meeting alone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" this is all to complicated for me

its lovely to just be able to choose who you play with and when youn want to without having to think of anyone esle lol"

I was thinking the same thing: and straight!

Couldn't imagine being in the middle of a nightmare couple and all their rules! I only have to think about me!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

we have seperate room swapped and bot enjoyed and played alone at clubs

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By *ouplefunukCouple
over a year ago

North Bristol

I played alone until recently - at hubbys suggestion. He didn't, it wasn't something i'd be comfortable with. He knew this and still wanted me to play alone.

As it turns out, he didn't get as much from it as he thought he would so I no longer play alone. I would never have done it if hubby hadn't wanted me to but we talked about it, tried it, talked about it some more and decided it wasn't for us.

If hubby isn't keen I really wouldn't force the issue or it could end in tears.

*Her*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It certainly works for us as im at home during the day and hubby is at work for long hours and likes it when i send him a txt or give him a quick call to say "i'm having a friend over for coffee" and gets to hear about anything that may or may not have happened. As with the other post i have spoken to him about meeting someone either through the day or night as a single and is keen hasnt really done anything about it. xxx Lois xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you talking literally of you going out and meeting someone or are you talking about both of you meeting a couple and playing in separate bedrooms? Ive met couples that are quite happy to play in the same room but i have also met couples that prefer separate rooms. Ive also met couples where the guy was not permitted to touch me as his partner didnt like it. Whatever is comfortable for you as long as you are safe

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